<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Emperor and the Goddess by Captain_Flash</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23064598">The Emperor and the Goddess</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Flash/pseuds/Captain_Flash'>Captain_Flash</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crimson Flower, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Faith, Memory Loss, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:48:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>297,057</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23064598</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Flash/pseuds/Captain_Flash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Edelgard believed that the Goddess watched over and guided her every action, until her pleas were met with a deafening silence.</p><p>The princess resolved that she would never put her faith in anything ever again.</p><p>Then she met Byleth.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bernadetta von Varley/Hubert von Vestra, Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary, Edelgard von Hresvelg &amp; My Unit | Byleth, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Ferdinand von Aegir/Marianne von Edmund, Ingrid Brandl Galatea/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Linhardt von Hevring/Lysithea von Ordelia, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2995</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2111</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Devotion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>One beautiful summer morning, Edelgard von Hresvelg, princess of the Adrestian Empire, was awoken by a visitor to her chambers in Enbarr. As her vision came into focus, she was greeted by the sight of Volkhard von Arundel, a typical warm smile stretched across his kind face. The princess hopped up excitedly, tiredness forgotten, ready to greet her beloved uncle.</p><p>“Lord Arundel-” she began, but he interrupted with feigned offense.</p><p>“How often have I told you, my dear-<em>please</em> call me Uncle Volkhard.” El beamed up at him, palpable adoration on her face. This was far from the first time this comfortable ritual had played out between the two of them, and it would not be the last.</p><p>“Why are you here, Uncle?” she questioned eagerly. He sat down next to her on the plush bed, pushing her extensive collection of stuffed animals-many gifts from him-aside.</p><p>“Would seeing my favorite niece not be reason enough?” he grinned, pulling the young girl in for a warm hug. Though Uncle Volkhard was often busy with his many political responsibilities, he always made time when in Enbarr to spend a free day with his niece. El could count on being spoiled by him, a fact that her siblings were immensely jealous of.</p><p>“I have a special place for us to visit today,” he said as he held her hand. “I’ve talked to your father about this, and he agrees that my idea would be a fine outing for the two of us.” He smirked. “Especially since I heard it will be <em>someone’s</em> birthday next month...”</p><p>El began to chatter excitedly. “I know! And Father is having a party! There will be a dance and I love dancing so, so, m-”</p><p>“Well,” he raised his hand up, momentarily stopping the torrent of details rushing from her lips. “If you get ready, we will head out <em>very</em> soon.” That was all the encouragement needed, and she sprang out of the bed, hugging her uncle one last time for good measure.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the carriage clacked over the ancient cobblestones of Enbarr, El attempted to wheedle more information out of Uncle Volkhard. Every possible tactic in her arsenal was used, until El decided to simply pester him into revealing the truth. "Are we going to the marketplace? Or the opera? Or-“</p><p>He raised his hand in mock solemnness. “I am sworn to secrecy, my dear.”</p><p>She looked at him sadly, with eyes downcast and shoulders slumped, knowing that this <em>always</em> caused him to break. “Are you giving me <em>the look</em>?” he said with great amusement. The princess nodded and began to giggle, lilac eyes sparkling.</p><p>He sighed and leaned toward her-as always, making El feel she was the most important person in the world. “Well, I have heard you have been asking many questions about your Crest and about the Goddess after weekly services.”</p><p>She nodded with excitement. Though El did not completely understand what it meant, her father had told her that she possessed a Crest of Seiros, a blessing from the Goddess of Fódlan.</p><p>Many of her other siblings, like Agnes and Otto, did not have a Crest, and knowing that the Goddess blessed her, especially, gave the young royal a funny, warm feeling in her chest whenever she thought about it. She was very grateful to the Goddess, wherever or whoever She was, and the princess always made sure to sing as loudly as she could at services to thank Her for this gift.</p><p>Uncle Volkhard gave Edelgard a paternal smile. “I am taking you to the Church of Saint Seiros in Enbarr, where you can see and learn more about both the Goddess, and how much She cares for you.” The noble clasped his young charge’s hand firmly, dispelling any lingering concerns in the young girl’s mind. “And perhaps afterwards,” he slyly declared. “We can stop at that confection shop you are so very fond of.” The promise of sweets was all it took for El to unleash a torrent of gratitude on her uncle. He laughed as he rustled her chestnut-brown hair. “Seeing the smile on your face is all the thanks I require, El.”</p><p>When El stepped out of the carriage, her uncle was conversing with an amiable-looking older woman in snow-white ceremonial robes. The woman, sensing the child’s nervousness, smiled reassuringly. Though she was of advanced age, her playful eyes belied this initial impression. She was old, but she was not <em>old.</em> She bent a knee to the princess and smiled serenely. “It is an honor whenever a descendent of Wilhelm blesses our cathedral.”</p><p>As the priestess lowered her head, El looked up in wonderment at the ancient towers that extended into the sky-blue heavens themselves. The stained glass shimmered in the gleaming afternoon sun, and El knew she had never seen anything so beautiful in her entire life. Finally, she managed to force words out of her awe-struck lips. “Is this where the Goddess lives?”</p><p>The two adults softly laughed at this comment, though El was unsure why. Uncle Volkhard turned to the woman, “I was hoping you could show her some of the paintings and artifacts. She loves history and so-“ He gestured significantly.</p><p>The older woman nodded, and bowed with clear respect. “For the man who has been so generous with his tithes and support, it is the very least I can do!” She turned to El again, and extended her hand. The princess took it, and it was warm and soft.</p><p>“Come with me, my lady.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The day passed like a dream, as the princess gazed upon beautiful frescos and listened to choirs practicing hymns that made her heart swell. She was enraptured by sculptures of the namesake of her Crest, Seiros, a figure both terrifying and beautiful.</p><p>El learned so much. How the Goddess had blessed the people of the world with the gift of Crests, power that allowed for the strong to protect the weak. How wicked men abused the Goddess’ gift, and began to wage war, blighting the land. And how one of the Goddess’ children and the Emperor of Adrestia united to liberate the land of Fódlan from strife and create a world where all could be free.</p><p>It was the best story the young girl had ever heard. She could not wait to tell Hubert.</p><p>“And you,” the priestess turned at the end of their journey. “Have been gifted a Crest from the Goddess herself, a living mark of the bond between the Adrestian Empire and the Church of Seiros.” El did not know what to say in response. The priestess smiled for a moment before continuing, eyes filled with fervor. “My child, remember this.”</p><p>She leaned down and placed both her arms on the girl’s shoulders. “Always remember the teachings of the Church of Seiros-the Goddess loves and protects all that is beautiful in this world.” The princess nodded politely, not fully understanding.</p><p>The guide explained further, intuitively sensing her guest’s confusion. “My dear, if you ever need anything, just pray to the Goddess, and she will be there with you. She will not ignore a child of the family that defended her so long ago.”</p><p>El gave the priestess the most determined look a seven-year-old face could muster. “I promise. I’ll pray to the Goddess every night!”</p><p>The older woman looked on her charge with visible fondness and bowed her head. “That is all I, or the Goddess, ask of you, my lady.”</p><p>As El exited the cathedral, her uncle was there, waiting. “Did you have a fine time?” he said, eyes twinkling.</p><p>“Oh yes! I learned that the Goddess loves me and gave me a gift, and She’ll always be my friend,” El exclaimed breathlessly. “And I’m going to talk to Her every day!” she concluded, aflame with the passion of a true believer.</p><p>Volkhard smiled and nodded. “I am sure you will, my dear. If I know anything about my little El, it’s that once she sets her mind on something, she always follows through.” He took her hand and led her toward the waiting carriage. El looked back briefly, stealing one last look at the gleaming spires where her friend, the Goddess, lived.</p><p>And El kept the promise she made, even as she was taken from her home in Enbarr, far from her father, Hubert, and her siblings. Every night, she sat in her bed in a cold and strange place and thanked the Goddess for the blessings she had been given-her uncle, her family, and her new friend Dimitri, who was kind and nice, even if he was clumsy and didn’t know how to dance or drink tea properly.</p><p>Although the princess was lonely sometimes, telling the Goddess about her day always made her feel less alone. El knew that the Goddess was always there, listening and protecting her, no matter what happened.</p><p>She always would be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One of the most fascinating and underdiscussed aspects of Edelgard’s character is the fact she used to be a believer. In Azure Moon, she tells Dimitri: “Even if one clings to their faith, the goddess will never answer them. Countless souls will be lost that way. Living without purpose. And I can be counted among those who have died that way as well."</p><p>This dialogue recontexualizes so much of her behavior-why she thinks people who rely on faith are “weak” in her Manuela support, why she continually calls the Church “liars”, and why her self-image is so, so terrible.</p><p>The localization removed many of the more interesting examples of this. Details that I think add a great deal to her character. For example, in the JP version of the game, after Byleth is saved by Sothis in White Clouds, Edelgard lets out a long, distraught sigh, and says: “You must really be loved by the Goddess.”</p><p>One of the strengths of fanfiction is the opportunity to pull out and expand on different themes and ideas. In that spirit, I hope you enjoy this story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Silence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>El did not remember the day she stopped praying. It was hard to remember anything anymore. There was just the pain, and the time between the pain. The men in the masks with their scalpels and their spells could come at any moment, and take her, or any of her siblings. </p><p>She used to fight them, scream and kick and refuse to give them the satisfaction of coming along quietly. Now, she simply followed their commands, her will broken. The body and mind could only tolerate so much. Soon, cruelty became as natural and inevitable as breathing. After being cut and jabbed for hours, it would be difficult to move, and El needed her strength to prevent the rats from crawling all over her immobile body.</p><p>There had been so many children to start with, but that changed quickly. Her younger sister, Matilda, was the first to die. She was a tiny and frail little thing, and El had held her in her arms every night, comforting her as much as her shackles could allow. When she died in her older sister’s arms, there was nothing to say. One moment she was breathing, slow and labored, and then-she just wasn’t. </p><p>As her brother Otto began to cry, El quietly offered a prayer. “Don’t worry, Otto,” she promised with as much conviction as she could fake. “The Goddess will save us.” The young boy nodded through tears, not knowing that her words were really for herself. When they came to take Matilda’s body, it took three men to pry her out of El’s arms.</p><p>The days that her uncle came to observe were the worst. Where his eyes once sparkled with gaiety, they now were dark voids that seemed bottomless. Where his voice once was filled with kindness and compassion, there was now only a scientific curiosity and a barely-contained cruelty that lurked behind every utterance. He never called her El anymore. She knew, somehow, that he was not her Uncle Volkhard, but she did not understand how this could be.</p><p>He laughed maliciously the day she offered herself in place of Otto, who was huddled in the corner, whimpering softly. “No, my dear,” he said as he gripped the forearm of the princess tightly. “You, and your Crest, are much too valuable to waste.”</p><p>He smiled like a predator, a toothy grin that terrified El down to her very soul. Otto was dragged screaming from the room as Uncle Volkhard-no, Arundel-kicked the young girl into the wall, leaving bruises that remained for days. </p><p>Otto did not return until after three days had past, his mind and body broken. He lingered for a week in utter agony, despite El’s best efforts to comfort him. The young girl could only sob uncontrollably as she watched life finally and mercifully leave his body, knowing she would remember the vacant look in his dead eyes as long as she drew breath. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Every night, she prayed to the Goddess, at first begging for salvation, and when salvation did not arrive, pleading for a reason why. Had she done something wrong? Was the Goddess angry with her? She had always followed the Goddess’ teachings, just like she was supposed to! Even if She could not save her, could the Goddess at least let her know She was there? El bargained, begged, and screamed-but there was only silence. Her prayers soon became tirades, as she ranted to the air against the Goddess-both for her siblings and for herself. </p><p>Finally, since there were so few children left, all the siblings were placed in the same dank, gloomy room. Iron manacles often chained them to the wall-wrists and ankles were rubbed raw from the friction. There was just El, her favorite sister Agnes, and the oldest sibling, Maximilian. El was the only one left with a Crest. The princess hated that she had started to feel relieved when they took another sibling instead of her.</p><p>Agnes and Maximilian comforted their younger sibling every night, and it was thanks to them she could withstand the pain. But Agnes grew weaker and weaker every day, and though El offered her rations, she refused to eat. It was clear she would not make it much longer.</p><p>Agnes looked at her beloved sibling after a particularly brutal day and quietly stroked her hair, just as they used to do in a different life. With a voice wracked by malnourishment, she whispered, “Promise me you will survive, El.” The broken girl nodded as she gripped her older sister’s hand. It was ice cold. </p><p>“That is all I ask. I will always be with you, I swear it.” Agnes closed her eyes, somehow retaining her dignity to the end. She died that night, and in the morning El woke to the sight of rats nibbling. How could the Goddess allow this?</p><p>There was a window with bars at the top of this damnable room, and sometimes the young girl could glimpse songbirds flying through the sky. So often, when her torture seemed never-ending, she imagined herself a bird, flying free in the warmth of the sun, far away from that wretched hole in the earth. El would do anything to feel that freedom, to be given wings to soar away from this perverse world. If she still prayed, that is what she would pray for.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Maximilian and El had never been particularly close, but he unwaveringly supported her until the day he was pulled from the room by Arundel and Duke Aegir’s men. As she could only scream in rage and horror, he reassured her with unimaginable bravery-“It’s okay, El.” Arundel and Aegir observed this with casual indifference, conversing about the experiments as if they were discussing the latest opera over tea. Finally, the two architects of this tragedy deigned to approach their remaining captive.</p><p>Duke Aegir scoffed at the girl with beady little eyes. “This little thing is your great weapon, Arundel?” The princess spat and shrieked at him like the scared, caged animal she had become.</p><p>Arundel only laughed in response. “Oh, this one has fight, I promise you. She will be your peerless Emperor, and this entire continent will be Adrestian once again.” </p><p>The experiments intensified after that. It was a never-ending cycle of restless sleep, terror, and pain, as she was vivisected over and over. She never saw Maximilian again, though one night there was a slamming and an unearthly bellowing from somewhere in the chamber of horrors. The following day, the princess saw the remains of a horrific abomination being carried past the bars of her cell. The silence that night was agonizing.</p><p>The girl pleaded to the Goddess she no longer believed in for it to end, to just be allowed to die. At least She could grant that simple request. The Goddess remained mute. All throughout her young life, the girl had thought that she had a special friendship, a relationship, with this deity. It was all a lie. Her friend, her protector, either did not exist, or did not care. The girl could not decide which answer was more painful.</p><p>Her suffering continued, cruel and unrelenting, until the night her captors achieved their goal. “We have done it!” yelled one of the men, his voice distorted by his mask.</p><p>A strange power flowed through the prisoner's battered limbs, as the room filled with an unearthly glow. Aegir stepped forward. “The Crest of Flames,” he murmured. “It is ours.” </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>In what may have been the cruelest gesture of all, the former captive was simply returned to her room in Enbarr, now a memorial to a girl that no longer existed. As she stared into space, Aegir’s words echoed over and over in her head, cutting into her thoughts like the knives cut into her flesh. Revulsion and nausea wracked her body and mind.</p><p>All this insanity, all this death, was for the Goddess’ Crest? If the Crests truly were divine gifts, how could an experiment grant them? Aimless eyes stopped when she caught a glimpse of a specter in the room’s full-body mirror. The princess had not seen herself in months.</p><p>What bare skin was visible from the neck down was covered in jagged and brutal scars, a permanent vestige of the indignities she had survived. However, it was not there her eyes were drawn, but to her hair, no longer a beautiful brown, but instead a stark and shocking white. Eyes, now pale and unearthly, widened in shock. The princess crumpled to the floor, wanting to scream, to cry, to feel anything-but she could not. The tears, cruelly, refused to come. There was just a vast emptiness inside the ruined shell that was once El.</p><p>The girl realized she was an experiment and an abomination. A freak-for which the lives of her siblings and so many others had been traded. Suddenly, her agitated mind remembered those words, so many years ago- “the Goddess loves and protects all that is beautiful.” The ugly, scarred monster in the mirror, that felt relief when it was Agnes’ turn to be taken? Who had stood by while her siblings were tortured in her stead? She was not-<em>could not</em>-be beautiful. She deserved this. That was why she was not saved. That was why there was only silence.</p><p>Edelgard made a vow as she looked at the stranger in her reflection with glazed-over eyes. If she did nothing, this nightmare would never end. There would be more. More and more dead children. More and more white-haired girls. No Goddess would be there to save them. Only her.</p><p>No one else would ever be allowed to feel this despair. No one else would be left abandoned in the shattered wreckage of a life. A promise was made in that mirror for all those who perished for this madness, for her siblings, and for El, the girl who died somewhere in that lonely prison. </p><p>
  <em>Never again.</em>
</p><p>And nothing and no one, not even the Goddess, would stand in her way.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was really tough to write for a variety of reasons. First, tracking the slow breakdown of a young girl's faith in her god, humanity, and herself is not a great head-space to inhabit. It's horrible-but I think it's really important to establish how the sweet, bossy little girl we see in the Azure Moon flashbacks ends up becoming the person we see at the beginning of the game. </p><p>I also struggled with how in-depth and specific to go into El's torture. People may not understand the impact that long-term sustained trauma can have on an individual's psyche. But on the other hand, there's a point where it lapses into angsty torture for torture's sake, and that balance was something I struggled with. I hope I succeeded, or at least came close.</p><p>Next chapter will introduce Byleth, and start bringing some comfort into the hurt/comfort this fic promised.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Saint Macuil's Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>On Saint Macuil’s Day, for some long-forgotten reason, it was traditional to launch small paper boats with messages for loved ones that had passed on. As El stood with Agnes on the docks of Enbarr, they sent out their own tiny vessel. It joined the hundreds filled with lanterns floating out to sea, small lights fighting back against the encroaching night. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Something’s been bothering you all evening, El. Tell me what’s wrong.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>El gripped her older sister’s hand, rising panic evident in her voice. “Are you going to die someday too?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes knelt down beside her. “Everyone will die someday, El.” She smiled, an act that puzzled the young girl. What could be good about dying?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As always, Agnes knew what her sister was thinking. “Life having an end is what gives us perspective. It’s what keeps us human.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>El frowned. “I don’t understand.” </em>
</p><p><em>As Agnes ran her hand through El’s brown hair reassuringly, the young girl’s troubled mind was soothed. “I promise you will, someday.” She paused. “But don’t worry, I plan on being with you for a long, long time.” </em> <em>El felt the terrible weight in her chest loosen, just a little. </em></p><p>
  <em>Agnes put her hand on her back, and they turned to look out to the sea. “And if I ever have to go, know that my love will always be with you.” She turned to her younger sister and laughed. “I’ll make sure the Goddess gives you whatever you need, even if I have to pull her by the ears.” El giggled at the mental image.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Just send me a message, El. I’ll be listening. I promise.”</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“It is wonderful to have us all together like this,” declared Dimitri in his usual careful, artificial tone. The three house leaders had set up camp slightly away from the Knights of Seiros, to preserve their privacy.</p><p>Claude responded with a disarming smirk. “Yeah, Princess over here can’t usually be bothered.”</p><p>“What did you say, Dimitri?” murmured Edelgard, her lilac eyes fixated on the campfire’s movement. She had much on her mind tonight, and her companions made her uneasy. If she was honest with herself, she did not trust either of them. Dimitri’s entire disposition was unnatural, as if he were an actor portraying a prince on a stage. And Claude… Claude was unpredictable, and Edelgard hated unpredictability.</p><p>Claude’s brilliance and talent for scheming was well-known throughout the academy, with a particular incident involving spoiled dairy products, a Blue Lions dinner, and a house competition already infamous. Edelgard found his underhandedness vexing. <em>You’re one to speak,</em> <em>Flame Emperor,</em> taunted an evil voice in her head. The princess ignored it.</p><p>She wondered sometimes whether this strange young man who appeared out of nowhere was another one of her…<em>allies</em>. It would explain so much of his odd behavior and the hours he spent in the library. He, like Edelgard, was at the monastery for a purpose, and she worried about what that might be.</p><p>Her misgivings toward Dimitri were more private. Sometimes, when he did not realize she was watching, Dimitri would stare at her with a strange, pained expression. It made the princess extremely uncomfortable. Even worse, he would sometimes assume a bizarre, overly familiar attitude, as if the two royals were anything more than acquaintances. It worried her, particularly given Felix’s continued muttering about how the prince was a “boar.”</p><p>There was another, more intimate, reason she kept her distance, beyond her worries about what darkness lurked behind the prince’s polished exterior. Her past was a confused void-a shattered vase that Edelgard could not reassemble. Ever since the experiments, so much of her life was simply... gone.</p><p>There had been a young boy in Faerghus-a friend, back when Edelgard had such things-whose kindness and sincerity had made the young girl very happy. Now, she could not remember his face, or his name.</p><p>Faerghus was a constant reminder of the girl she could have been. A happy brown-haired girl with a mother, and friends, and a boy she may even have loved, as silly as those words now sounded to Edelgard’s ears.</p><p>She wondered what that boy, whoever he was, would think of her now. Now, she was the Flame Emperor, hiding behind masks and conspiracies, and planning a war that would lead to the deaths of her two traveling companions and so many others. A war that would drown the continent in a torrent of bloodshed. It took Claude’s flippant voice to shake her out of her gloom.</p><p>“We were talking about how we should do this more regularly,” said the noble.</p><p>Edelgard frowned, and recalled her last outing with Claude and Dimitri. “And risk finding a rat in my tent again?”</p><p>Her tormenter laughed. “You wound me, Princess. I’m simply trying to remind high and mighty royalty like you two how the rest of us live.”</p><p>Dimitri shook his head in disappointment. “Squabbling like this does not befit our station. As future rulers, we must strive to develop good relationships for ourselves and our future subjects.” It took all of Edelgard’s considerable self-control to resist rolling her eyes.</p><p>Claude smiled broadly. “I agree, your Princeliness. As a sign of our deep camaraderie, I vote for an inter-house feast.”</p><p>The princess chuckled, despite herself. “You always want a feast, Claude.”</p><p>As he twirled an arrow in his fingers mindlessly, the house leader grinned. “I do, don’t I? Still, it’s a great chance for everyone to lighten up-especially you, Princess. Who’d have guessed a grump like you’d have such a nice smile?” Edelgard could only glare at him in response.</p><p>“Well,” interrupted Dimitri. “Saint Macuil’s Day is next month. I’m sure if we petition the Archbishop, she’d be happy to celebrate a holy day with a banquet that could even satisfy Claude.”</p><p>Edelgard thought back to the docks of Enbarr, and her sister’s promise. She gripped the log she was seated on so tightly, deep grooves were carved in the wood.</p><p>“Maybe,” said Claude. He turned toward the princess, inquisitive green eyes probing. “But would Princess join us? I’ve never even seen her near the cathedral.” Edelgard’s heart began to beat rapidly.</p><p>The future King of Faerghus looked at his companion with curiosity. “Claude is right, Edelgard. I haven’t seen you so much as enter the cathedral, even on holy days.”</p><p>Edelgard was normally adept at retaining her calm façade, but she stammered momentarily. “I-I-” However, like always, she put on her mask. How could she expect to change the world, if she could not control her own emotions? “I simply have a more private devotion than most. Nothing more than that.”</p><p>How could she explain the nausea that arose in her stomach whenever she walked past the cathedral? The feelings of betrayal and anger that threatened to overwhelm her whenever the Archbishop prattled on about the Goddess’ protection?</p><p>Dimitri glanced at her with sympathy. “To be honest, Edelgard, I do not practice myself, but remember as royalty, we have the responsibility to lead by example. Many people are weak, and rely on the Church’s support.” He paused for a moment. “If a leader prioritizes his personal desires ahead of those of his people, they are failing their duty as a king.”</p><p>Something inside the princess snapped. “Are you talking to me, or to yourself?”</p><p>Dimitri grimaced before responding. “I simply mean our positions require us to carry out the will of the people. That necessitates foregoing our personal desires." </p><p>“Then it appears our beliefs are not so different after all, Dimitri.”</p><p>After this, the conversation awkwardly petered out, and eventually both Dimitri and Claude moved into their tents. Edelgard sat alone, watching the fire burn down to embers. Sleep was a rare commodity for the future Emperor-and tonight, rest was especially unlikely. She knew Kostas and his band of idiots would attack at any moment.</p><p>Men would die tonight, and it would be because of Edelgard, and her vision of the future. She hated the ease with which she had learned to toss away people’s lives for her goals. She hated pretending she did not mind sending these wretched bandits to their deaths. But most of all, she hated herself. As she looked up at the stars, Edelgard wondered if Agnes would be disgusted with the monster that now wore her sister’s face.</p><p>Her doubts, as they always did when given the opportunity, climbed to the forefront of her mind. “Agnes,” she whispered to the endless darkness, “I know that this is the path that I must walk. For you, and for everyone else.” Edelgard sighed. “But with each compromise, each moment like tonight, I lose myself a little more.” She smiled to herself. “Somehow, I know if you were listening, you’d understand exactly what I need. You always did.”</p><p>The stars did not reply.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Nothing had gone according to plan. That fool, Claude, had ruined everything by running away from the brigand’s attack like a coward. Edelgard cursed herself internally, lamenting both her arrogance and her continued inability to predict Claude’s behavior.</p><p>The plot had been sloppy and ill-conceived, as Hubert had never ceased to remind her. The princess dreaded how completely insufferable he would be if he found out the full measure of her stupidity. Looking for help in the nearby village was the best of the remaining bad options.</p><p>When the three house leaders found the village, the group-incredibly-discovered the legendary mercenary, Jeralt the Blade-Breaker, accompanied by his daughter. Jeralt was an awe-inspiring fighter, putting down multiple bandits with an ease and surgical precision that belied his rugged appearance.</p><p>However, it was the young woman, named Byleth, who truly intrigued the princess. She fought with a dispassion that would be comical, if not for the efficient brutality of her fighting style. As she watched Byleth snap a man’s neck without so much as a twitch in her blank expression, Edelgard realized she had never seen anything like it.</p><p>There was an inexplicable kinship the princess felt with the strange mercenary, one that was impossible to articulate. Byleth’s presence was oddly calming, as if she was an answer to a question that Edelgard did not know she had. The princess had learned to distrust all sentiment, particularly her own, but her mind could not help but wonder what hid behind the mercenary’s blank facade.</p><p>Byleth calmly directed the three future heads of state, seemingly unaware of the status they held, which staggered belief. Her taciturn nature did not appear to be out of arrogance, but simply a desire to communicate only the information necessary to complete the objective. It was the first time Edelgard could remember having anyone give her orders. She did not mind the feeling.</p><p>As the group routed the overmatched invaders, Edelgard found herself remaining close to the mysterious woman. The girl’s ax was a force of destruction, as bandit after bandit fell to her vicious blows. As the two women pushed the intruders past the village gates, Byleth gave a curt nod of acknowledgement.</p><p>Edelgard attempted to convince herself that this inexplicable interest in Byleth was solely as a strategic asset, a possible tool for the Flame Emperor’s plans, but it rang hollow. Her eyes could not help but admire Byleth’s taut muscles and the way her legs… a dangerous line of thought was stopped with a shake of the head.</p><p>While Claude, Dimitri, and Jeralt finished off bandits, and insured the villagers were safe, Edelgard and Byleth pushed forward. That fool, Kostas, was nearby, and the two women made quick work of his retinue, the mercenary’s graceful blade working in idiosyncratic harmony with the hulking ax of the princess. As Byleth sent Kostas to the ground with a sidestep and a simple flick of the wrist, he collapsed with an inelegant thud.</p><p>As she dug her ax out of the chest of an unfortunate man, the Flame Emperor’s mind, as always, relapsed back to her plans. She had provided that idiot with a single task, and he had utterly and miserably failed. She would just have to rethink her next steps. Perhaps there would be a way to convince this mercenary and her father to join her cause. Certainly they would be of more strategic use than a mere bandit like Kostas and-</p><p>Suddenly, there was a bellowing behind Edelgard. Somehow, that buffoon was not dead, and he was running toward the princess, screaming a war cry with at least three, possibly four, obscenities. With no way to ready her ax in time, Edelgard grabbed her dagger from its sheath, and assumed a stance designed to evade a blow and counter. He raised his own ax for a downswing. It would be difficult to dodge, but-</p><p>A gleaming sword, blocking the trajectory of the blow, cut through the cool evening mist. Kostas’ face was illuminated in the moonlight, equal parts rage and spittle and confusion. He was sent flying through the air, his weapon clattering as it landed harmlessly in the mud and clay.</p><p>Edelgard could see the mercenary’s back rise and fall from the exertion, all strong muscles and tightened tendons, though Byleth’s attention remained focused on Kostas and the other fleeing bandits.</p><p>“Are you all right?” Byleth stated serenely, as if she did not just step in front of an enemy’s weapon for a complete stranger.</p><p>Mind awhirl, the princess managed to stammer a response-“I...I am fine.” Edelgard could not believe this-this person had been so reckless as to-!</p><p>She turned, and suddenly Edelgard was falling, tumbling, adrift in eyes of indigo. There was a truth that the princess has been searching for, a profound kindness and understanding in those mysterious blue orbs. They were the most beautiful things she had ever seen, and right now they were looking at her, and only at her. Edelgard, for a precious moment, was utterly exposed, naked, and yet also free of the burden of judgment, of expectation.</p><p>Edelgard hated the sea, feared that loss of control it represented. Yet in that bottomless blue, the girl did not see the azure ocean-but the freedom of the sky El longed for in that dungeon beneath the earth. It was as if she has been given the wings she prayed for so many years ago. Now, those tranquil eyes were filled with concern for Edelgard von Hresvelg and her safety. Not because she was heir to the throne of Adrestia, but because she was Edelgard.</p><p>The corners of the mercenary’s mouth moved ever so slightly upward, imperceptible at a distance. “That is good,” she stated with seemingly flat affect. “I would not like anything to happen to you.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Hubert was predictably irate, though he refused to show it. “So the Archbishop has decided, rather than promoting Jeritza, to elevate this… <em>mercenary</em> to the teaching position?” The princess responded affirmatively.</p><p>Hubert groaned. “And both Dimitri and Claude remain alive?” She again nodded. Hubert sighed and placed his hands on the bridge of his nose, the clearest sign of frustration he would ever make in his liege’s presence. Neither of them spoke for an interminable length of time.</p><p>Finally, Edelgard broke the silence, mainly to stop Hubert from pacing around her room. “I talked to the mercenary today about the possibility of her teaching the Black Eagle House. I believe she could be a valuable ally, untainted by the Church’s-“</p><p>Hubert gave the princess a withering look. “Lady Edelgard, may your humble servant remind you of the path we walk? Do you suppose the child of one of the famous Knights of Seiros will allow, let alone support, your vision for this continent?”</p><p>“You...you have not seen her fight."</p><p>Hubert, never one for sentiment, pounced on her moment of weakness. “I grant that she may prove an ally, <em>for the moment,</em>” he lectured. “But to treat it as anything more than a temporary relationship is inviting disappointment and courting disaster.”</p><p>Edelgard understood he was right. She knew that Hubert cared more about her own life and well-being than she did, and every concern he had expressed was not only valid, but an unquestionably rational analysis of the situation. It did not prevent her from wanting to throw a hand-ax at her retainer at that exact moment.</p><p>“Leave me,” Edelgard snarled, surprising even herself with the harsh nature of her voice. Hubert bowed deeply, a subtle expression of concern apparent on his face.</p><p>Turning her back, the girl heard his farewell-“As you wish, Lady Edelgard”-and the room was momentarily filled with a blazing heat and a vivid red light as he vanished.</p><p>Hours later, with sleep refusing to come, Edelgard remained guilt-ridden for her habitual callousness toward Hubert.</p><p>One of her few remaining memories of those awful days following the experiments was his refusal to leave her side. Never talking, eating or sleeping, just silently punishing himself for his failure. From childhood, Hubert had been groomed by his father to protect Edelgard with his life. He had spent a lifetime attempting to atone. Staining his hands red, over and over again. Another life traded for her sake.</p><p>Yet even Hubert, who knew the future Emperor better than anyone, could not understand what it meant to have this strange woman defend her without any hesitation. The princess had forgotten what it felt like to be protected, to be shielded.</p><p>To be cared for.</p><p>So much of her past was a jumble of fragmented images and emotions-from the warm feelings linked to her first love, to the inescapable and terrifying chattering of rats. The feeling of security the mercenary had inspired brought long-suppressed memories flooding back to the forefront of her mind, leaving Edelgard disoriented and flustered, grasping for solid ground.</p><p>There was a gleaming church, a feeling of safety and belonging, and most painfully, the belief-no, the knowledge-that she was cherished by a Goddess who deeply loved the girl called El. The Flame Emperor buried her face in her hands, trying in vain to force the memories back out of her conscious mind.</p><p>Just like that silly priestess’ lies, just like the falsehoods that the Church had inflicted upon the people of this continent, her ridiculous fantasies that anyone could possibly walk with Edelgard, would choose her, were nothing more than wishful dreams. In the end, Edelgard would always be left alone in the dark, and that was-</p><p>The princess was shaken from her melancholy by two quick, efficient raps on the solid oaken door to her room-Hubert’s customary notice that he had a communication. Edelgard made her way to the entrance to find only a short note, written in Hubert’s impeccable handwriting.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lady Edelgard,</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>My investigations inform me that the mercenary has chosen to teach the Black Eagle House. The announcement shall be made tomorrow. I hope this will soothe your worries for the moment.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>H.V.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Edelgard allowed herself a smile. Though Hubert was almost certainly right, and this path would lead to even greater pain and regret in the end, the girl could not help feeling an unfamiliar lightness in her chest as she finally drifted off to sleep. For once, they were pleasant dreams, filled with eyes as blue and vast as the horizon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hubert's "investigations" were him hiding behind a pillar like a goon. He's the best.</p><p>One of the reasons Edelgard is such an interesting character, and why I'm so fond of her, is that her reactions are very human. On one hand, she's plotting to overthrow the nobility through a continent-wide war, fully expecting her classmates to abandon her, and yet, she cares so much for Ferdinand's feelings and self-image, she never tells him what his father did to her family. It's an interesting and fun challenge to try to capture those two sides of her in chapters like this. </p><p>Hubert and Claude are great and I love writing them both. I love that Claude low-key has a crush on Edelgard the entire game, but he never grew past the six-year old boy "scaring the girl you like with a snake" approach to flirting.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Lesson</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edelgard von Hresvelg was a woman of contradictions, and this could be perhaps be glimpsed most clearly with her morning routine. Though Edelgard started her day before the sun crossed the horizon, she hated rising early with every bit of her being.</p><p>Edelgard’s ideal day would involve sleeping in, before curling up with a good book and a massive pile of sweets. However, the world the princess inhabited was far from ideal. She often found herself working to the point of exhaustion, between managing the tasks of the Empire and a student, along with her more…secret activities.</p><p>Today, when Edelgard rose before dawn, she had a particularly important reason for her early start. This was the first lesson that Byleth would teach the Black Eagles, and Edelgard had to be fully prepared to impress her potential ally. She had outlined potential questions and ideas on the scheduled topic-the War of the Eagle and the Lion-last night. Now, the Flame Emperor had to don her mask. Become the peerless leader that her people required, burning away any signs of weakness. </p><p>There were many complications to Edelgard’s morning rituals; none more inconvenient than the need to bathe at odd hours, to insure that no one else would see her mutilated skin. The idea of someone glimpsing those awful markings, of knowing how ruined and weak she truly was, filled her with dread.</p><p>Manuela had become aware when Edelgard had sliced her hand open on a lance during a training exercise. Without so much as a word, the healer had quietly procured a key to allow Edelgard private access to the bathhouse. The princess was forever grateful.</p><p>Upon her return to her room, Edelgard dressed herself, though the task was complicated by Edelgard’s refusal to look in her mirror until her scarred body was fully clothed. After fussing with her ruby-red cape, and applying a bit of makeup to mask the bags under her eyes, she would sit down for her ten-minute reprieve. Edelgard pulled out her brush, and began to run it through her hair, feeling a calming sensation wash over her.</p><p>From her allies of convenience to the scheming of the Adrestian court, there was so much that lay outside the princess’ grasp. Duke Aegir and his nobles had stolen not only her family and future-they had taken away control, even over her own body. Edelgard knew that her hair would never return to that beautiful brown, but she would insure that it shined, that it was cared for, no matter what lay in her future.</p><p>As she tied her customary ribbons into her hair, the princess fretted about her new professor-what would Byleth’s teaching style be? Would sitting near the front of the classroom make her look like she was overeager? How much should she talk? Edelgard’s mind rushed from one concern to the next.</p><p>Edelgard heard Hubert’s two quick raps on her door, and the sound of his brisk footsteps trailing away. Though she insisted to him that she did not like to eat in the morning, he would still always deposit a small breakfast outside her door. The student smiled as she pocketed the sausage links, and headed downstairs.</p><p>There was another indispensable portion of Edelgard’s mornings, and it involved Hubert’s breakfast. Every morning, she would take the food Hubert would leave for her, and feed it to a small black cat that would linger outside the dormitories, waiting for her arrival. After watching the animal lose multiple fights over foodstuffs, Edelgard had resolved that the little creature would get the finest meals the monastery’s kitchens could provide. As she walked out into the morning sun, Edelgard was surprised to find her friend was not there.</p><p>Suddenly, she heard a clatter from the alleyway next to the dormitories, and a woman’s voice. Curious, Edelgard turned the corner, only to stand, dumbfounded, at what she was witnessing.</p><p>Byleth, the “Ashen Demon,” who she had watched emotionlessly decapitate a man not four days ago, was surrounded by seemingly the entire cat population of Garreg Mach. Byleth had taken off her black jacket, and was using it to hold a seemingly endless pile of sausages and other breakfast meats. The cats were swarming her, all insistent upon obtaining their share as she attempted to distribute it with little success.</p><p>The princess began to panic. This was not how the morning was supposed to go. Edelgard was just about to turn and flee, when her new professor turned and saw her. Edelgard saw Byleth’s eyes brighten, though her facial expression remained outwardly apathetic.</p><p>“Hello, Edelgard,” said Byleth, as if this was the most normal situation in the world.</p><p>“Um…hello, Professor,” replied Edelgard, trying and failing to hide her disbelief. </p><p>“I’m glad you’re here,” said Byleth. “I’m having trouble getting each of them some food. I could use some help.”</p><p>“Oh, of-of course!”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>As they walked through the crowded city streets, Agnes held El’s hand tightly. They arrived at the market, where the sisters found one of the many wooden benches scattered amongst the stalls. Upon sitting, Agnes smiled, and gave El some pieces of bacon they had smuggled out of the palace kitchen. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As the alley cats began to congregate around them, Agnes turned toward her sister.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Remember, El. Not a word of this to anyone.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>El looked at her sister, perplexed. “I don’t understand why everyone is so mad when we feed the cats. They’re so nice, and they’re hungry.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A particularly persistent calico momentarily drew Agnes’ attention. “Well, El,” she said. “Some people don’t think the alley cats are worth helping.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why?” exclaimed El, with the clear moral outrage that only a small child can possess. “Isn’t helping those who need it what the Goddess wants us to do?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes laughed, a sweet, high sound that delighted El whenever she heard it. “You’re exactly right,” she declared. “As royalty, we have a responsibility to help cats-and people-that can’t help themselves. That’s what the Goddess desires.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El grinned with self-satisfaction at the praise, as a thin grey tabby pulled her final piece of food out of her hand before disappearing into the crowd.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes turned to her sister, and held her hand tightly. “You know, as you get older, you’re going to hear a lot of people talk about what the Goddess wants.” Agnes cupped El’s face in her hand and smiled. “Always watch how they treat those less powerful then themselves-animals, children, servants. That’s how you know they actually are following the Goddess’ will.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El nodded. “I will.”</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Byleth handed Edelgard some food, which caused the cats to begin to swarm the princess as well. Minutes passed in silence, as the two women insured that every feline was fed. Edelgard made sure her friend, the runt, was given seconds.</p><p>After their supply of provisions was exhausted, Byleth looked over at the princess and placed her arm on her shoulder. “Thank you, Edelgard. You were very helpful,” said the former mercenary with almost comical sincerity.</p><p>Edelgard smiled, charmed beyond words. “I’m glad I was able to assist, Professor.” This was the famous, brutal fighter that the guards had whispered about in fearful tones? She was so different from how others perceived her. So…sweet, and gentle. Edelgard, who by her own admission could be cold and distant, envied the relaxed aura her professor exuded.</p><p>Byleth abruptly stood and put on the jacket that had been carrying the food, causing Edelgard to crinkle her nose. The professor turned to her new student and nodded. “We have class soon. Would you like to walk with me to the classroom?”</p><p>Edelgard agreed, and as she turned around, was mortified to see that Hilda Goneril was standing at the entrance to the alley, an expression of utter bewilderment on her face.</p><p>Byleth walked up to the Leicester noble, seemingly unconcerned with how bizarre the situation appeared. “Hello, Hilda. Edelgard and I were just feeding the cats. Edelgard was a big help.”</p><p>Edelgard felt herself beginning to blush, though even she was unsure if this was due to the praise or embarrassment at the situation she now found herself in.</p><p>Hilda’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, as she backed away slowly. “That’s…<em>great</em>…Professor. I’ll…leave you to it.” Hilda rushed toward the dining hall, and Edelgard knew that the entire population of Garreg Mach, from the Archbishop on down, would hear of this story before the day was through.</p><p>Byleth and Edelgard began the walk toward the school classrooms, an easy silence passing between the two of them. Edelgard did not want to break it, but there was a question she needed answered.</p><p>“Professor?” began the princess. “How exactly did you end up…feeding so many animals?”</p><p>An almost imperceptible smile formed on the corners of Byleth’s mouth. “I had started to feed the small black one, when another cat came over and stole his food. As I kept feeding them, more kept coming. I went back to the kitchen to make sure they all got some.”</p><p>“That’s very nice of you, Professor.”</p><p>The former mercenary shook her head. “It’s only fair. Everyone should have an equal chance.”</p><p>Edelgard hummed before responding. “I’m a little surprised to hear that from a mercenary of all people, if you don’t mind me saying so.”</p><p>Byleth looked toward Edelgard, an expression of total earnestness on her face. “That’s what my Papa has always taught me. No matter if a person is a noble or a commoner, they all deserve the same respect, Crest or no Crest.”</p><p>“I like your father already,” said the princess. She paused as they reached the Black Eagle classroom. “Just…be careful about saying such things around here. Some people affiliated with the Church may not…share your views on equality.”</p><p>Byleth’s blue eyes sparkled in the morning sun. “Thank you, Edelgard. You’re a very kind person.”</p><p>As Byleth walked ahead, Edelgard could not decide what was more astonishing. Her professor’s egalitarian views of society, or her insistence that the princess was “kind.” Edelgard had been called many things-a leader, driven, callous, arrogant-but never “kind.” The words rang in her ears as the two women entered the classroom.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The Black Eagle students-barring Linhardt, who was already passed out in the back row-waited with anticipation as the new professor prepared to begin her lesson.</p><p>“I’m still kinda surprised that we didn’t get Jeritza as a teacher. He sure seems a lot stronger than she does,” said Caspar, whose attempt to whisper to Petra was audible to everyone in the room.</p><p>“Hello, class,” began the young teacher, who was promptly ignored.</p><p>Dorothea glared at Caspar. “Can you please not insult the new professor before she even starts her lesson? Besides, Edie’s very fond of her.”</p><p>Edelgard groaned and placed her head in her hands, as she felt the eyes of her classmates simultaneously converge upon her.</p><p>“If Edelgard is already attempting to win the favor of our new instructor, I shall just have to redouble my efforts,” said Ferdinand with typical aplomb. “It is my noble duty as Edelgard’s better, Ferdinand von-“</p><p>He was interrupted by a loud snore from Linhardt.</p><p>“We are very aware of who you are,” sneered Hubert, venom dripping from his voice. “Ferdinand von Aegir, the noble whose only triumph over Lady Edelgard is in the number of classmates he has managed to infuriate.”</p><p>“Excuse me-“ said Byleth.</p><p>“Ferdinand has not been managing to infuriate me,” said Petra innocently.</p><p>“It’s okay, Petra,” grinned Dorothea. “Hubie’s just a big old grumpy grump.”</p><p>“Would everyone, <em>please</em>, let our teacher speak!” snapped Edelgard. “And where’s Bernadetta?”</p><p>“Um. I-I’m right here, Ms. Lady Edelgard, s-sir,” came a muffled voice under one of the desks.</p><p>Edelgard audibly sighed and began to rub her temple, a headache already developing. “Would you please join us for the lesson? Our new professor appears eager to get started.”</p><p>Byleth looked at Edelgard, subtle relief in her eyes. The princess gave her a small smile and a nod of encouragement.</p><p>“I am Byleth Eisner. I will be your new instructor. Seteth gave me a book that talks about the War of the Eagle and the Lion.” Byleth paused and looked at each of her students individually for an uncomfortably long time. “I will read it now.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Ten minutes later, only Edelgard was still attempting to pay attention, as Byleth recited from the chapter in her typical monotone. Even the princess was struggling to retain focus.</p><p>“<em>And lo, when Loog went to confront the Empire’s general, he first supplicated himself and beseeched the Goddess above to grant him a boon during the forthcoming battle. As he plunged his gleaming spear, Areadbhar, into the general’s iron shield, the Goddess’ power shattered the shield in twain-"</em></p><p>Byleth suddenly stopped reading and looked around the room. “This isn’t very good, is it?”</p><p>After seconds of stunned silence from the class, Dorothea shook her head, barely managing to contain her laughter. “No, Professor, it’s not very good.”</p><p>Byleth nodded curtly. “Thank you Dorothea.” She thought for a moment. “Who here can tell me what Loog did wrong?”</p><p>Edelgard interrupted. “Professor, it… might not be a good idea to critique Loog. He’s a revered historical leader in Faerghus.“</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “A mistake is a mistake. This…King Loog should have known better.” She turned her blue eyes to the middle row. “What do you think, Bernadetta?”</p><p>The purple-haired student rocked back and forth in her seat. “Oh n-no, Bernie, they’re going to find out how useless you are, here it comes...”</p><p>Byleth walked toward the young girl slowly, which only panicked the student further. However, when Byleth reached her, she bent her knees, and stared directly at Bernadetta with a blank expression. “My Papa always told me that failing is the first step toward learning. Trust me, and we will solve the problem together.” She extended her arm toward Bernadetta, who hesitantly placed her hand in Byleth’s.</p><p>Byleth looked around. “Anyone else have any ideas?”</p><p>“Perhaps as a person in a position of authority, he should have prepared more,” said Hubert drily. “Can you imagine if a king, or perhaps… a teacher, was making things up as they went along? How horrid.”</p><p>"That’s also true, Hubert. Good thinking,” responded Byleth affably. The young man glared at her for a moment, before pinching the bridge of his nose, avoiding Edelgard's dangerous scowl.</p><p>“Well, he probably shouldn’t have thrown his spear into the shield, no matter how powerful it was,” said a smug male voice from the back of the room.</p><p>Byleth nodded. “That is correct, Sylvain.”</p><p>Edelgard whirled her head around in shock. “What are <em>you</em> doing here?” she hissed at the member of the Blue Lions.</p><p>Sylvain shrugged, “I thought I’d stop by. I mean, if I have to listen to somebody read from a book I don’t care about, I’d rather it be the new teacher with the nice legs instead of Professor Hanneman.”</p><p>Edelgard nearly leapt across her desk to murder the Faerghus noble, only stopped by Byleth’s words.</p><p>"Sylvain, you use a lance, correct?”</p><p>Sylvain ran a hand through his red hair. “Most of the time, yeah.” He gave the new teacher a roguish smile. “First class, and you already want to see my lance? Can’t say I blame you.”</p><p>Byleth looked at Edelgard momentarily, a subtle twinkle in her blue eyes, before turning back to the intruder. “I would like your help.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the class stood around the training yard, Sylvain idly twirled his training lance, before winking at Dorothea. Byleth strolled out, carrying a training sword and a leather shield, one in each hand. The former mercenary raised her shield. “Now, come after me like Loog in the story,” said Byleth.</p><p>“Heh, it’s your funeral, beautiful,” grinned the Gautier heir. He raised his spear to an attacking stance.</p><p>Byleth called toward the class. “Observe.”</p><p>Sylvain threw his entire weight behind a spear thrust, only to be met by Byleth, who lunged her shield forward to meet her opponent. As it made contact, the professor pulled her sword on top of the spear, trapping it between Byleth’s two weapons. </p><p>Before Sylvain could react, the mercenary brutally head-butted the young noble, stunning him momentarily and causing him to drop his lance. As she kneed her adversary in the stomach, causing him to double over, Byleth lightly tapped a dazed Sylvain on the back of the neck with the hilt of her training sword. The whole process took less than three seconds.</p><p>As Sylvain attempted to catch his breath, Byleth spun toward the rest of the astonished class. “We are scheduled for a mock battle between the houses this week. Real battle is not the stories of honor the books tell you. There is only one objective in a fight. To win.”</p><p>Here, Edelgard realized, was the Ashen Demon she had glimpsed the other night. Ruthless, efficient, seemingly emotionless. That this was the same woman who had called Edelgard kind, who had quietly fed the monastery cats…</p><p>When the class did not respond, she continued. “On the battlefield, this Goddess will not protect you. She will not break a shield for you. A single mistake like Loog’s will lead to death.”</p><p>She turned to Sylvain. “Thank you for your assistance.”</p><p>Sylvain grinned, still doubled over. “Oh, believe me,”-he stopped for a gasp of air-“the pleasure was all mine. What would you say if I transferred to your class permanently?”</p><p>Edelgard scoffed. “Absolutely not. Perhaps if you showed a maturity level beyond a ten-year-old boy, we’d consider it.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” wheezed the noble, “I’ll wear you two ladies down eventually.” He hobbled toward Felix, who had been watching the entire event and sported a grin that spread from ear-to-ear.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Byleth looked at her charges. “It is getting late, but next class, I will spar with each of you. Please prepare as much as possible.”</p><p>As the bewildered students grabbed their items silently and prepared to leave, Edelgard felt a hand on her shoulder.</p><p>“May I have a word?” said Byleth to her student, a strange expression in her eyes.</p><p>Edelgard nodded, then turned to her retainer, who had a look of deep suspicion on his face. “I’ll be <em>fine</em>, Hubert,” sighed the princess.</p><p>Hubert nodded. “Very well.” He turned toward the Professor. “Lady Edelgard’s safety is my paramount concern. Tread carefully.” He bowed to Edelgard and turned to leave.</p><p>Byleth called after him in a loud voice that seemed to echo forever off the monastery walls. “I am very concerned with her safety as well.”</p><p>The princess' face began to redden until it matched the crimson color of her cape. “My teacher, what is it that you need?”</p><p>Byleth did not respond for a moment, and her face refused to meet Edelgard’s. Suddenly, the princess recognized what the strange look in Byleth’s eyes was-the seemingly stoic mercenary, incredibly, was nervous.</p><p>Edelgard gave her professor a sympathetic nod. “I thought you did a very good job today.”</p><p>This, to Edelgard’s great shock, caused Byleth to actually smile. One that any observer, not just the princess, would notice. The mercenary looked at her pupil with clear fondness. “I appreciate your support. Having you there…it helped me.”</p><p>The princess giggled. “It didn’t look like you needed my help against Sylvain.”</p><p>Byleth gazed at her student with her beautiful blue eyes, that wonderful smile still evident on her face. “I like it when you laugh. It makes you seem…different. It’s…nice.”</p><p>The princess and the mercenary shyly stood in silence, until Edelgard dared to ask a dangerous question.</p><p>”My teacher... did you mean what you said about the Goddess?”</p><p>Byleth’s serious expression returned. “I’ve worked with many mercenaries who claimed they were blessed. Overconfidence is deadly. Most of them did not last long.”</p><p>The princess nodded, but did not respond.</p><p>“I hope that I did not offend you. I am not...good with words."</p><p>“Far from it,” said the future Emperor, projecting a confidence she did not feel. “I find it rather refreshing, to be honest. In my own experience, the only person any of us can truly rely on is ourselves.”</p><p>Byleth shook her head slowly. “I think you are wrong, Edelgard.”</p><p>“Oh...? What do you mean?”</p><p>“Well,” said Byleth, as she picked up her sword and shield and began to walk toward the door. “I hope that someday, you will come to rely on me, as well.”</p><p>As her professor exited the training grounds, the princess was left alone, a long-forgotten sensation blazing in her blackened heart.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Originally, I was going to move directly onto Lonato, but as I started that chapter, I realized that 1) This story was threatening to drown under the angst, and 2) one of the many reasons ol' Hegemon Wings and her tiny gay wife are so wonderfully resonant is that they both bring out the hidden, vulnerable side of themselves, and I needed to show that happening. After all, El and Byleth are, first and foremost, *massive* dorks.</p><p>Sylvain is a godsend for the Beagle dynamics, and his appearance this chapter is going to lead to some stuff with Miklan down the line. The idea that BESF becomes a found family for Edelgard is really important, and so I want to demonstrate that any recruits are not just here for Byleth, but Edelgard as well.</p><p>If you were wondering why Hilda's not recruitable in Crimson Flower, well, here you go.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hands Marked Crimson</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Red Canyon was as enigmatic as the stories suggested. As Edelgard and the other Eagles gazed at the ancient edifices-memories of a civilization long vanished-it felt wrong to speak. The trek out had been boisterous-Dorothea had regaled the group with songs from her opera days, and Caspar was insistent on questioning the professor about every detail of her time as a mercenary-but now a quiet hung over the group.</p><p>Of course, Edelgard had knowledge that her classmates lacked. These were not just simple ruins-they were a monument to the creatures that once ruled over Fódlan. Edelgard had been passed down the stories from her father on the day she turned sixteen-yet another of her cursed birthrights.</p><p>Any lingering faith in Edelgard’s heart had withered as she heard how the Church had distorted and manipulated the people of this continent. How they had made themselves as gods, and suffocated humanity under the weight of nobility and Crests.</p><p>And now, the creature that wore the skin of the Archbishop had tasked the Black Eagles with eliminating the bandits who defiled the Red Canyon. There had been a strange look on the Archbishop’s face as she had given Edelgard and Byleth their mission-it was if the princess was not in the room at all, as if Rhea’s hungry emerald gaze wanted something inexpressible from her professor.</p><p>Every moment in front of the Archbishop was agony. The small child locked deep inside the princess wanted nothing more than to lash out at Rhea, to scream about how the truth of the Church’s scriptures was nothing compared to the truths Edelgard had learned in her siblings’ dead eyes. Instead, the Flame Emperor had simply smiled and nodded, and assured the Archbishop that the bandits would be eliminated.</p><p>She had seen what the Church did to heretics. How the Church passed judgment according to their own laws, and though as Imperial princess she was shielded, it would lead to ruin for her plans to be revealed this early. So for now, she played the part of the student, and followed Rhea’s orders, while scheming and plotting with her fellow monsters in the darkness.</p><p>Of course, she would have needed to eliminate Kostas anyway. He knew too much, and he had never been intended to survive his initial attack. The Flame Emperor had remained hidden in the shadows, and it would need to stay that way for the foreseeable future.</p><p>Byleth’s sudden appearance had thrown all of Edelgard's plans into chaos. Though the princess would not trade her professor for anything, the appearance of a new and unknown variable had forced the Flame Emperor to become more impromptu than she liked.</p><p>Suddenly, Edelgard’s musings were interrupted by a beautiful female voice. “Are you okay, Edie? You haven’t spoken at all. Daydreaming about something? Or <em>someone</em>?”</p><p>Edelgard turned, and saw Dorothea looking at her with a small grin on her angelic face. The house leader huffed. “Some of us have other things on our minds than how many dates we can accumulate, Dorothea.”</p><p>“Oh, you always struck me as someone just looking for the right guy-or girl?” Dorothea gestured toward the front of the caravan, where Byleth and Petra were quietly discussing the subtle distinctions between Brigid and Fódlan game hunting.</p><p>Edelgard grinned. “Well, I do imagine a union between Petra and myself would greatly assist in lowering tensions between Brigid and the Empire-“</p><p>“You are truly hopeless,” sighed the songstress. “I don’t know why I bother.”</p><p>The two women fell silent as they walked toward their destination, though Edelgard noticed that her classmate was wringing her fingers unconsciously.</p><p>“This is your first battle, is it not?”</p><p>Dorothea chuckled darkly. “Oh, however could you tell? No, the Mittlefrank Opera Company didn’t make a habit of slaughtering rival theatre guilds.” The former diva rubbed her shoulder. “I know that this all must be old hat for a mighty noble like yourself, but for someone like me…”</p><p>
  <em>El rushed toward the door to the throne room, eager to show her father the pink carnations she had picked from the palace garden. Suddenly she felt her momentum stop before she could reach the door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sorry, sis,” said Maximilian apologetically, fingers wrapped around El’s collar. “You aren’t going to want to go in there. He has to sentence some minor official from Varley’s territory. Something about him pocketing the revenue from food taxes. Sounds like he might get-“ Max ran his finger along his throat significantly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>El’s lilac eyes widened in shock. “Father’s going to kill him?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well, he won’t be doing it, but-“ Max shrugged. “It’s part of his position. I don’t like it very much either, but sometimes, there are people who just... have to die.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El shook her head vociferously, anger and disgust overwhelming her. “Killing is wrong. I don’t care what anyone says.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hey, hey, don’t worry. You’re not in line for the throne. You’ll never have to deal with anything ugly like that, I promise.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Doubt clouded the young girl's features. “Are you sure?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I promise," her brother chuckled, running his hands through his brown hair. "Now, what d’ya say we go steal some treats from the kitchen? I may or may not have swiped the key while the head of staff wasn’t looking.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El snickered and took his hand, the worries in her mind momentarily eased by the strength of her older brother’s grasp.</em>
</p><p>“I’ve killed many people, Dorothea. Whether it was through my ax or my orders. As a child, I…never imagined myself having to make the decisions I do.”</p><p>Dorothea looked at her classmate with sadness. “Does it ever get easier?”</p><p>The princess shook her head. “No, never. When it does, that’s when I’ll know I’ve truly lost myself.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the Black Eagles entered the inner sanctum of the Red Canyon, Byleth motioned for her students to stop. “We will split into two groups once we cross the bridge” said the professor calmly. “Linhardt, Hubert, Ferdinand, Bernadetta and I will go right, while Edelgard, Dorothea, Caspar and Petra will go left.”</p><p>The Eagles nodded. Hubert was about to voice an objection to being separated, but a vigorous headshake and glare from the princess quashed any further defiance from her retainer.</p><p>Edelgard understood why Byleth had chosen to place Bernadetta and Linhardt, the two students most likely to freeze on the battlefield, with a skilled black mage and an experienced mercenary. The princess had little doubt that Caspar and Petra would handle the inevitable violence with little issue. However, Dorothea was another matter.</p><p>Byleth looked toward the class. “Edelgard and I will clear a path. Please follow us.”</p><p>There were three enemies on the bridge, two ax wielders and an archer, and Byleth and Edelgard rushed forward to confront them. As one of the brigands charged forward with murderous intent, Byleth evaded the downward thrust of his ax before burying her sword into the man’s neck, the force almost separating it from his body.</p><p>As Edelgard and the second melee fighter rushed to confront each other, he suddenly stopped, and fell to his knees while gasping for air, as purple gas materialized all around his body. She quickly glanced back to see her retainer casting a Miasma spell. As she heard the thief’s final desperate attempts to breathe, she looked toward her final target.</p><p>The archer was a young man, no older than twenty, whose panicked hands fumbled with his bow. Edelgard ran forward, and before he could notch his arrow, drove her iron ax directly into the boy’s chest. The force of the superhuman blow nearly split him in two, and he landed on the ground a brutal mess.</p><p>The princess paused for a moment, then felt Byleth's calloused hand on her shoulder. “Good work, Edelgard.” As they turned back toward the rest of the class, Bernadetta had hidden herself behind Hubert, while Linhardt had begun to vomit next to a pile of rocks, with Caspar patting his back reassuringly. The rest of the Black Eagle's faces were somber, as the reality of their mission suddenly became troublingly clear.</p><p>“This is what the Church sends students out to do?” said Dorothea with rising panic in her voice. “This-this-<em>butchery</em>?” She buried her face in her hands.</p><p>Byleth, still covered in the bandit’s blood, walked toward the distressed girl, and wordlessly placed her hand on her student’s heaving shoulders. Dorothea’s rapid breathing began to slow, and she finally pulled away from her instructor.</p><p>The students wordlessly separated into their groups, and after a lingering look toward her professor’s back, Edelgard led her battalion toward the west. As Edelgard stole a glance at Dorothea, she gave her classmate a concerned nod, which Dorothea’s pale face failed to return.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Petra and Caspar, had, as Edelgard predicted, handled taking their first life about as well as could be expected. The Brigid princess had run a mage clean through, and afterwards, had quietly muttered a prayer to the gods of her people. Caspar, meanwhile, had battered a bandit viciously with his brawling gauntlets before turning toward the rest of the group with typical bravado.</p><p>“All right, where’s the next bad guy?” he boasted, though the slight tremor in his voice betrayed his true feelings.</p><p>Edelgard silently cursed. She cursed the Goddess for creating a world where people ran each other through with spears. She cursed the Archbishop for sending children out to spill blood in the Goddess’ name. And most of all, she cursed herself-after all, if she hadn’t used Kostas and his bandits, her fellow students would be back at the monastery, perhaps performing a simple training exercise.</p><p>What would they think when they found out the full extent of her true plans? The continent-wide slaughter that Edelgard von Hresvelg would start with her own voice, with her own two hands? What would they do when they found out the beast she truly was? What would Byleth do?</p><p>Long ago, Edelgard had, if not accepted, understood the path her life would take her on. The people she would slay, both directly and indirectly. The families, the mothers, fathers, daughters and sons, that she would destroy. The princess always attempted to rationalize it to herself-that every act she committed was in service of the greater good, for the new dawn of Fódlan. Every day, that justification became harder to accept.</p><p>As the regrets consumed her, she remembered her brother’s labored final breaths, her own frantic attempts to position Otto’s head to breathe as he coughed blood all over her young hands.</p><p>In a way, her brother’s blood had never come off. No matter what Edelgard did. No matter what path she chose. There was always blood at the end of it.</p><p>That was why she needed to keep Dorothea away from the fighting. Edelgard and Petra had responsibilities as the heads of their nations. Caspar, as a second son, would have to fight and kill to earn recognition that a Crest-bearing noble would have been given freely.</p><p>But Dorothea was different. Dorothea had confided to Edelgard that she was here primarily to find a good partner. One who would care for her for the rest of her life. She was not here to be a soldier or a general. If the princess could keep one person’s hands clean, just for today, then perhaps there could be some absolution for her. Perhaps it would make up, in some small way, for the blood Edelgard had spilled and had yet to spill.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As they reached the end of the canyon, Edelgard glanced around, looking for Byleth’s group to rendezvous with. “Can you see them, Petra?” asked the princess, relying on her classmate’s tracking experience.</p><p>Petra searched around, keen eyes darting from one outcrop of rocks to the next. “There,” she pointed, toward an ancient and massive set of stairs. The occasional spark of magic could be seen in the distance.</p><p>“Let’s go help them!” said Caspar, eager for the next battle.</p><p>“No,” said Edelgard severely. “We have a mission to complete.” Kostas was nearby, and this needed to end now.</p><p>He was holed up inside a small monument, which allowed the bandit a measure of protection against long-distance assaults. Edelgard stopped, and considered how to proceed. Kostas was strong, but against the combined strength of Petra, Caspar, and her own ax, he would fall.</p><p>“Caspar, you and Petra will each attack from opposite sides. Be ready.” They shook their heads grimly. “Dorothea, stay behind me and provide healing if needed.”</p><p>An unconvincing smile flitted across Dorothea’s face. “You got it, Edie.”</p><p>The princess turned back toward Petra and Caspar. “I'll draw his attention with a frontal assault,” she commanded. “On three, I want each of you to charge him.”</p><p>“Typical Edelgard,” laughed Caspar. “Trying to steal all the glory for yourself.”</p><p>Edelgard marched toward Caspar sternly. “I am <em>trying</em>,” she scolded with an extended finger. “To avoid getting any you killed. I do not relish having to write a letter to Count Bergliez on how I let his son die fighting bandits.”</p><p>Petra looked at Edelgard with a quiet confidence. “No one is going to be dying today.”</p><p>“Agreed, now let’s move.”</p><p>The future Emperor walked toward Kostas, ax ready at her side. Kostas turned toward the princess, a sneer contorting his face. “Heh, you’re one of the spoiled noble brats from the other night.” He glared. “I’m going to enjoy gutting a weak little rich kid like you.”</p><p>Edelgard scoffed. “You have no idea what true strength is, you fool.” She raised her ax. “Allow me to show you.”</p><p>She ran toward the thief, unleashing a vicious swing that sent the ancient tiles under their feet flying upward, As Kostas stumbled back to avoid the blow, Edelgard called out to her classmates- “Now!”</p><p>Petra and Caspar ran forward, attempting to strike their target with their weapons. Kostas dodged the boy’s flurry of punches, but the Brigid warrior’s sword swing found its mark, sending the bandit lurching backward with a deep slash across his chest.</p><p>He staggered, but collected himself and grinned. “Not bad, kiddos,” he coughed. “I ain’t finished yet, though.”</p><p>Petra remained in a defensive stance. “Everyone should be having caution.”</p><p>Caspar laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry Petra, I got him!” The blue-haired youth rushed forward, eager to deal a finishing blow. Suddenly, Kostas reached behind his back, and pulled out a small handax, before whipping it at high speed into Caspar’s leg. With a cry of pain, the boy crumpled to the earth. Kostas raised his ax to deal an overhead strike...</p><p>“Caspar!” yelled Petra, running forward, blocking the blow with her sword.</p><p>Petra’s desperation had left her open, and Kostas delivered a vicious punch to her stomach. He laughed and picked up the stunned girl, holding her up by the throat. “Not good enough,” he chuckled.</p><p>Edelgard's Crests made her incredibly fast, but as she ran toward Kostas, she realized even she would not be able to close the distance in time. She grabbed her iron ax, tightened her grip, and threw it as hard as she could at Kostas’s outstretched arm. It buried itself in his shoulder, causing the bandit to scream in pain and drop Petra to the ground.</p><p>“That’s it!” yelled Kostas. “You brats are dead!” He raised his ax with his other hand, and was about to bring it down on Petra’s head, when a bolt of lightning suddenly struck him, creating a gaping hole in the man’s chest. He was dead before he hit the earth.</p><p>Edelgard turned around to see Dorothea, sparks of magical energy still dancing on her fingers and an unreadable expression on her face.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Byleth’s group had met up with Edelgard’s, and they had quickly scattered into small groups. Linhardt was healing Caspar while scolding him for his recklessness, Ferdinand was effusively complimenting Petra’s bravery, and Hubert had quietly placed a hand on a quivering Bernadetta’s shoulder. Byleth, meanwhile, had quickly come over to talk with her house leader.</p><p>“You did well today, Edelgard."</p><p>Her student scoffed. “I was reckless. I forged ahead without backup, and my classmates almost paid the price.”</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “A battlefield never works out how we plan it. You adapted. That is all I can ask as your instructor.” She paused. “I am…glad you are okay.”</p><p>Edelgard felt the heat rising in her cheeks. “I feel the same, my teacher.” She turned away from Byleth’s stare, and saw Dorothea, looking off into the distance, arms wrapped around herself.</p><p>Byleth followed Edelgard’s gaze. “I will talk to her,” said Byleth, walking toward her distraught student.</p><p>“Professor, wait!” said Edelgard. “Give me a moment. It’s my fault she’s tied up in this, and-“</p><p>Byleth nodded.</p><p>As Edelgard approached Dorothea, the songstress laughed mirthlessly to herself. “When I close my eyes, I can still see the look on his…”</p><p>She turned to Edelgard, tears lining her face. “I killed him, Edie! I waved my hands, and he was dead!”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “You did what had to be done, Dorothea. If you had not acted, he would have killed one of our classmates. Blaming yourself for his actions is futile.”</p><p>“He was a person!” the distraught girl yelled. “He was a murderer and a coward, but because of me, he’ll never eat, or laugh or do anything ever again!”</p><p>“Remember earlier today, when you asked me about how I felt about killing?” said Edelgard, attempting to maintain her composure, her mask slipping. “I told you that it bothered me, but I wasn’t fully honest with you.”</p><p>Dorothea looked at her with a puzzled expression.</p><p>“I despise killing for selfish, personal reasons,” said Edelgard firmly. “But there was- <em>is</em> a greater calculus at play. If we had not killed those bandits today, they would have gone out and raided more villages, killing many more people." She sighed. "By doing nothing, by refusing to stain our own hands out of a misguided idealism, we would be condemning countless innocents to death."</p><p>Dorothea, who had been playing with her cap, turned to look at her classmate. “You really believe that, huh?”</p><p>The princess looked at her companion remorsefully. “I have to believe it. I have to believe that some things are worth damning myself for.” Her eyes flitted over Byleth, who was showing Bernadetta how to apply a tourniquet to Caspar’s injured leg.</p><p>“Edie, you’re not as subtle as you think you are,” laughed Dorothea, the ghost of a smile appearing on her face. “All your grand Emperor decrees, and you’re still just a teenage girl in love.”</p><p>“You-I-I have no idea what you mean!” sputtered the princess, the seriousness of the moment momentarily forgotten.</p><p>Dorothea chuckled. “Whatever you say Edie. Still…” Her gaze lingered over Petra, who was laughing while listening to Ferdinand recount his exploits.</p><p>“Regardless,” said Edelgard, eyes downcast, “I must apologize to you… I wanted to keep you from this, just for today…and I failed.”</p><p>“Oh, knock it off! Honestly, you are absolutely impossible,” said the songstress, frustration building in her voice. “You act like the world is on your shoulders all the time. Like your friends can’t make our own choices and decisions. Like you can’t let anyone else in.”</p><p>“I-but, but, Dorothea-“</p><p>“No,” declared Dorothea. “Stop being selfish for one moment, and listen. You want to make it up to me? Then when you and I get back to the monastery, we’re going into town, we’re going to flirt with some attractive people we’ll never see again, and you’re going to tell me all about why you like our new professor so much.”</p><p>“But…why? Why me?” said Edelgard in a small voice.</p><p>Dorothea slapped her head. “Because you’re my friend, you ridiculous person. That’s what friends do, even if their friend is an Emperor with a savior complex.”</p><p>It was the first time anyone had called Edelgard their friend in many years.</p><p>“All right,” said the princess, a grin forming on her face. “I assent.”</p><p>Byleth walked toward the two women. “We should go. I will handle disposing of the bodies.”</p><p>The princess nodded. “It will be dark soon, and-“</p><p>“Can...can we pray for them?” said Dorothea in a quiet voice. “I...well, I think it’s important that we pray for them.”</p><p>Byleth nodded, and the three women stood for a moment as Dorothea asked for the Goddess to watch over their souls. As Edelgard thought back to her own prayers over Agnes’ body, she again felt the desperation of a terrified child wash over her. Her arm begin to quiver. It was as if she had never left that dungeon, as if she was still watching the rats-</p><p>Abruptly, she felt a warm hand steadying her trembling limb, and saw her professor staring calmly at her with those piercing eyes of blue. She simply was there. Letting Edelgard know that she was safe.</p><p>Neither of them spoke, as they listened to Dorothea petition for the Goddess’ protection. All was still, as dusk and quiet fell over the Red Canyon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In case it wasn't obvious, Dorothea and Hubert are my favorite Black Eagles outside of El.</p><p>I absolutely despise writing battle scenes, it feels like I'm writing "one guy slashed his sword, but then the other guy dodged it" over and over again, and it eats up so much page space. But it seemed necessary to show the brutality of what was happening here.</p><p>Because this story is limited to El's perspective, some of her perception of Rhea is skewed by what she knows. I actually really, really like Rhea as a character, and find her very compelling (The way Silver Snow and *especially* Azure Moon use her is a crime), so I'm going to try to give her more shading if possible.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Gambit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Silence reigned throughout the main hall of Castle Gaspard. Lord Lonato sat on his throne, brooding. Even at his advanced age, Lonato was an imposing visage. A lifetime of battle and conflict had worn and hardened the man's features, until it was as if he had been hewn from rocks from the Oghma Mountains themselves. One could sense the strength and nobility that radiated from the venerable leader, qualities that made him beloved to his subjects. </p><p>Suddenly, the dark and quiet was disturbed by a flash of red. Appearing in the midst of that scarlet miasma was a strange creature garbed in iron, with an inhuman white mask. A long red tail extended from the figure’s odd helmet, and it carried a large steel ax. A more cowardly man would have taken it to be a demon, or a vengeful spirit. Lonato, however, was made of stronger, sterner stuff.</p><p>The figure bowed, and began to speak in a garbled, metallic voice. “Greetings, Lord Lonato. I am the one who has been in contact with you.”</p><p>“I am an old man,” Lonato grumbled. “And I do not have time for these frivolous pretensions. What shall I refer to you as?”</p><p>The armored specter stared at Lonato with its unblinking eyes. “I am the Flame Emperor.”</p><p>“Tell me, Flame Emperor," glared the elderly man toward his guest. "Why have you come to Castle Gaspard?”</p><p>“I come to ask you to act as a standard-bearer in the fight for Fodlan’s freedom,” said the figure. “To help expose the Church’s lies and falsehoods for all of the world to see.”</p><p>“Spoken with all the arrogance and callousness of youth,” laughed the old man. He leaned forward. “Let us stop talking in grand pronouncements. We are both fully aware of what you are requesting of me.”</p><p>“Yes,” muttered the Flame Emperor. “I believe we are.”</p><p>“Good, now, please describe what you would have me do, so that we can discuss this like men, without dancing around the harsh truth.”</p><p>“Indeed. Next month, at the end of Blue Sea Moon, the annual celebration of the Goddess’ Rite of Rebirth will be held.”</p><p>Lonato remained silent, but gave a cursory nod of comprehension.</p><p>“As I am sure you are aware," said the apparition. "This is the one day a year that the Tomb of Saint Seiros will be unlocked.”</p><p>The lord shrugged. “I must admit, while I am a rather pious man, even I fail to see the relevance of this.”</p><p>“I have knowledge that indicates that the Tomb of Saint Seiros is empty.”</p><p>Lord Lonato was a stern and dispassionate individual, not given to dramatics, but the aged noble nearly leapt out of his chair in anger and shock. “Empty!” he snarled, “But if the Tomb of Saint Seiros is empty, then…”</p><p>The Flame Emperor gestured with its armored hand. “Then the Church has been lying about the very nature of its founder and namesake, and-“</p><p>“And this is how you plan to expose it publicly.” Lonato leaned backward on his seat. “On the one day a year when you can get in.” He laughed, a booming sound that rebounded off the empty walls of the castle. “I trust you will not be doing this alone?”</p><p>“I am…using the Western Church, who desire to undercut the Central Church and the Archbishop for their own selfish, petty desires.” The Flame Emperor paused. “Revealing the fabrications of the Archbishop will allow them to consolidate their own power, and the ensuing conflict will weaken them both.”</p><p>The lord of the manor sat back and contemplated momentarily, his hands resting against his face. “So, what do you require from me?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor produced a piece of parchment, and held it aloft. “This is a letter detailing an assassination plot against Archbishop Rhea. Normally, a clumsy, fabricated scheme such as this would be ignored, but-“</p><p>Lonato raised his hand to stop his guest from continuing. “But if it were to be discovered on a rebelling lord… perhaps on his body… the Church would be forced to take it seriously as part of a wider conspiracy, drawing attention away from the Tomb itself, and toward the Archbishop.”</p><p>“Precisely.”</p><p>Lonato stood, and walked toward a small table with a decanter and some glasses. He smiled. “I would offer you some, but your mask…” He poured himself a drink slowly, and turned back toward his guest. “I have some questions.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor nodded. “I would be surprised if you did not. I will answer them as much as I am able.”</p><p>“Why have you come to me?”</p><p>“Because you have been agitating against the Church for years, after the death of your son. Because I believe that you despise the Church’s perversion of the faith as much as I do.”</p><p>Lonato scoffed. “Many people hate the Church. They have ruined countless lives with their cruelty and lies… That does not explain why you have come to me.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor paused momentarily, and looked toward the floor. When it raised its eyes again, there was a deep hatred behind the seemingly emotionless mask. “Because like you, the Church once meant everything to me. It was my balm, it was my rock, and it was the foundation of my very life. Only a fellow believer like yourself could understand the true depths of my despair and betrayal.”</p><p>The lord of Castle Gaspard was silent for a moment, until he began to walk toward the Flame Emperor. “Do you know what happened to my son, Christophe?”</p><p>“He was executed by the Church for what they claim was his role in the Tragedy of Duscur.”</p><p>The noble slammed his glass to floor in rage, shattering it into hundreds of pieces. “Lies!” he yelled. “Lies, lies, and more damnable lies!” He raised his finger toward the unblinking face of his guest. “Do you know what my son found out?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor did not respond.</p><p>Lonato regained his calm. “My son loved books, and research. I was never much for book-learning myself, you understand.” He chuckled. “Most children in Faerghus learn to fight before they learn to read.” He shook his head pensively. “Not my Christophe.”</p><p>The old man’s gaze became wistful. “Christophe was always looking for new books and letters, telling me about strange and wonderful texts from Almyra, Brigid, even Morfis.” He paused, a defeated expression on his face. “Until one day, he came to me and described a manuscript he had found in a dusty library in Enbarr. He claimed it showed that the Church had been suppressing medicine, technology, and so much more.”</p><p>Lonato’s voice became strained. “He told me that the Archbishop <em>was not human.” </em>He turned toward the demon. “Is this true?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor nodded.</p><p>Lonato sighed. “He said he could not abide this. He said that men must be allowed to determine their own destiny, not these…<em>creatures. </em>And for that, he plotted to assassinate the Archbishop. For <em>that</em>, those monsters <strong>killed my son</strong>!”</p><p>Neither Lord Lonato nor the Flame Emperor spoke for what seemed an eternity.</p><p>“You understand what will happen if I start an uprising,” said Lonato grimly. “My people are undermanned, and the Church will unleash that witch Thunderstrike Cassandra upon us. It will be a slaughter.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor sighed. “I am aware. I have thought, and agonized, and I cannot find another way. If there was-“</p><p>“Oh, do not misunderstand me, Flame Emperor,” interrupted Lonato. “I am glad to give my life to expose the Church’s lies. My people…love me. They will be happy to lay down their lives for their lord. That is not my hesitancy.”</p><p>"Then what is, Lord Lonato?”</p><p>“I want to know about <em>you.”</em> The noble appraised his guest with a skeptical, wary eye. “You claim the Church has ruined your life, but how am I to know the truth of your words? You come before me, hiding behind a mask, asking me and my people to sacrifice themselves for a grand future they will never see.”</p><p>Lonato crept forward. “It is easy to throw away other’s lives, while protecting your own. Do you care so much for yourself that you would not do the same? Where is your own strength of conviction, you coward?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor threw its ax to the floor. “You doubt my conviction? You doubt my commitment?” The mysterious figure moved toward Lonato. “Do you know <em>why</em> I call myself the Flame Emperor?”</p><p>Lonato scowled, but did not respond.</p><p>The Flame Emperor took the metal glove covering its arm, and ripped it off in a single motion. It fell to the ground with a clatter, the sound echoing throughout the fortress. “Look!” the figure shouted, and held its bare forearm high in the air.</p><p>Every inch of skin that was visible was covered in a patchwork of aged and jagged scars. The wounds were a kaleidoscope of colors, blue, purple, and red. It was clear that the coarse lacerations had been made with little care for the subject. These were not the marks of a clean sharp knife-they were rough and uneven, as if the one who had inflicted them had not even cared enough to use the proper tools for the task.</p><p>Lonato had seen many brutal things in his life of conflict and battle, but very few compared to the mutilation he saw on the Flame Emperor’s limb.</p><p>“I am called the Flame Emperor,” the figure hissed dangerously, “because the scared, weak child I once was, who cried so many tears, who begged to a Goddess who did not listen, is dead.” It looked toward Lord Lonato, and the expressionless mask was somehow filled with anger and rage. “I am called the Flame Emperor because everything I once was has been burned away.”</p><p>Lonato looked at the specter and smiled softly. “I apologize for doubting you, my child.” He picked up the letter, which had fallen onto the ground during the discussion. “I will do as you ask.”</p><p>The figure appeared startled. “Just like that?”</p><p>“I…understand from where your conviction stems now. Even here, far away in the land of Faerghus, there were hushed whispers in the nobility of what happened to the children of the Hres-”</p><p>“Do not finish that sentence,” spat the Flame Emperor.</p><p>“Of course, forgive me,” whispered Lord Lonato. “I have two requests for you.”</p><p>“Name them,” said the apparition, regaining its poise.</p><p>“First, whatever happens, please keep my son Ashe away from the fighting. I imagine the Archbishop will want him there, to teach him what happens to those who raise their blades against the Church. He is a good lad, and I do not want his final memories of me to be of battle.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor nodded.</p><p>“My second request,” said the aristocrat solemnly, “is for you.”</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“You are a young wom- a <em>person</em>, who is walking a dark path” said Lonato. “If this truly is the path you must travel, find others you can lean on. Not as tools like the Western Church, but as allies and friends. You teeter on the edge, my dear, and if you do not find others to rely upon-you will fall into the abyss.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor nodded. “For what little my words are worth, thank you, Lord Lonato.”</p><p>“Rhea is an infidel who has deceived the people and desecrated the Goddess,” said Lonato, shaking his head. “If I did not fight- if I did nothing and waited to die like a coward, I would make a mockery of all that I believe in.” The noble smiled. “I shall pray for you, my child. The Goddess is watching over you, I can feel it.”</p><p>“I must go,” muttered the Flame Emperor. “I promise you, none of this will be in vain. I swear on the graves of my family.”</p><p>There was a flash of red, and suddenly, the Flame Emperor was no longer in Castle Gaspard, but instead in a sparsely decorated room in Garreg Mach Monastery. Hubert wordlessly assisted the Flame Emperor with removing the armor before both Hubert and the costume vanished in another blaze of crimson.</p><p>Edelgard von Hresvelg sat alone in her room, and the girl under the Flame Emperor’s mask buried her face in her hands and cried.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Originally, this was part of a longer chapter, but I felt it needed to stand alone for thematic and pacing reasons. Given Edelgard's disguise and how much previous chapters have been in her head, I wanted to try to express what was happening solely through dialogue, rather than my usual (purple) prose.</p><p>Some of Lonato's dialogue, including "Rhea is an infidel who has deceived the people and desecrated the Goddess" is taken directly from the game. It's very interesting how certain faithful characters like Lonato consistently describe the Church as liars, which is also the language Edelgard uses. It really was a big influence, along with her Azure Moon talk with Dimitri, on my view of Edelgard as a person deeply influenced by religious belief (in-game, she even does the praying motion that Marianne and Mercedes do!)</p><p>Next chapter will have some well-earned Byleth/Edelgard fluff.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Peaceful Days</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“In the end, I shall best you Edelgard!”</p><p>The rest of the Black Eagles groaned, as Ferdinand rose from his seat with a flourish. His boisterous proclamation had begun to attract attention from the other tables in the dining hall, including from both Claude and Dimitri. Edelgard sighed. Ferdinand’s insistence on their “rivalry” was enough to make the princess question whether to accelerate her plans for the abolition of the nobility.</p><p>As Edelgard rubbed her temples in frustration, she overheard Dorothea call out in her characteristically sweet tone.</p><p>“Professor, over here!”</p><p>Byleth had been standing in the middle of the dining hall holding her dinner tray, and looking awkwardly for a place to sit. Upon hearing Dorothea’s words, she quietly nodded and walked toward the table, before hovering in front of her students.</p><p>“Can I sit with you?” said the woman in an unusually timid voice.</p><p>Hubert scoffed. “Perhaps it would be better for you to fraternize with your peers.” He gestured toward the faculty table, where Manuela was playing with her food while pointedly ignoring another eager lecture from Hanneman about Crests.</p><p>“No, I think it would be preferable for the Professor to sit right here, with her class,” said Edelgard, gesturing to the empty seat next to her. Caspar and Ferdinand agreed with vigorous shakes of their heads.</p><p>“Thank you,” said Byleth, and the princess could not help but notice the way the former mercenary’s shoulders subtly relaxed as she sat down. Byleth turned toward Edelgard. “Why was Ferdinand yelling about you? He yells about you quite a bit.”</p><p>Hubert, who was in the midst of drinking his coffee, snorted loudly. “On second thought, I am <em>very</em> glad you chose to sit with us, Professor.”</p><p>Ferdinand looked at Byleth with an expression of shock and dismay. “Are you not aware of the ages-long rivalry between the House of Aegir and the Hresvelgs? It is my duty as a noble scion of that illustrious line to challenge and best Edelgard, thereby proving my own superiority!”</p><p>Byleth put her hand to her chin, clearly confused. “Best her at what, Ferdinand?”</p><p>Ferdinand looked personally affronted. “Why, at everything, Professor! It is my calling to challenge her at all undertakings, honing us both into the superb leaders that Adrestia requires.”</p><p>Byleth shrugged. “That seems difficult. Edelgard is very talented at many things.” She paused and tilted her head, seemingly unaware of Edelgard’s furiously blushing face. Byleth turned toward Ferdinand. “What have you beaten her at?”</p><p>Ferdinand began to rub the back of his head with his arm. “Well, I have not yet defeated her, but…”</p><p>“Ferdie had been trying to beat her at chess, and well… let’s just say it was a full and unconditional surrender,” laughed Dorothea.</p><p>“Well, this certainly can’t stand,” said a lighthearted voice behind the group. Edelgard turned around to see Claude, along with a visibly uncomfortable Dimitri. “We can’t let Princess’ ego get <em>too</em> out of hand, after all.”</p><p>Dimitri interrupted. “Now, Claude-“</p><p>“Oh relax, Dimitri. Garreg Mach’s master of schemes has a new plan brewing that everyone will benefit from. Ferdinand gets his competition, I get entertainment, and Edelgard…”</p><p>“Will hopefully get some peace,” said the princess testily.</p><p>“True!” said Claude amicably. “Here’s what I propose-a cooking competition!”</p><p>The group stared at Claude in silence for a moment.</p><p>“Really? Geez, tough crowd,” groaned the Leicester noble. “Just think of it. The Black Eagles get their weird passive-aggressive contest, and in the end, Dimitri and I get some tasty desserts.”</p><p>Ferdinand’s eyes began to blaze. “This competition, truly, shall begin the era of Ferdinand von Aegir!”</p><p>“Yes, I’m sure future historians will all be <em>very</em> interested in your creampuff recipe,” said Linhardt with half-lidded eyes.</p><p>“If it means you all give me five minutes of quiet,” said the princess. “I agree.”</p><p>“Wonderful!” said Claude. “Now, Dimitri and I will act as the judges, since we’re both clearly unbiased and in the best position to decide whose food is best.“</p><p>“Actually, I may not be the best judge of-“</p><p>“Nonsense, your Princeliness,” said Claude firmly. “You’re involved in this, as well.” He paused. “And to make sure that each of our competitors is fully on the level, since as you all know, I <em>deplore </em>schemes of any kind.”-he winked significantly-“someone from outside the Black Eagle house will help our contestants in the kitchen.”</p><p>Ferdinand nodded. “I shall be glad to work with anyone you find for me, Claude.”</p><p>Edelgard reflected momentarily, took a deep breath, and barged ahead. “I would like to nominate the Professor to help me in the kitchen. ” Edelgard closed her eyes, and when she opened them, saw both Dorothea and Claude’s smug grins greet her.</p><p>Ferdinand beamed. “I have no objections. It will be good for the Professor to witness my triumph first-hand.”</p><p>Byleth looked at Edelgard, and though her facial expression did not betray any outward sign, her azure eyes shined.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The day of the competition, Edelgard, Byleth, and Ferdinand reported to the dining hall early. Claude and Dimitri were already there, conversing with one another.</p><p>“I am very glad you have all made it,” said Dimitri, “I believe a spirited competition like this will be rather… fun.”</p><p>Ferdinand searched around in confusion. “Claude, have you managed to find me a suitable partner? One skilled enough to help me with this glorious task?”</p><p>Claude looked at Ferdinand sheepishly. “Well, at first I asked Hilda, but she said she had something called ‘housemaid’s knee’, and needed to visit the infirmary. Lorenz told me that handling food was beneath someone of his ‘noble stature’, and Raphael thought it was an eating contest.” Claude shrugged “So…” He gestured behind himself where a downcast blue-haired girl stood quietly praying.</p><p>Marianne von Edmund was behind Claude, a look of utter despondency on her face. “I’m…I’m really, really sorry, Ferdinand. Claude insisted.” She hung her head. “Um…I’m going to make a mess of things for you, I-I should leave.”</p><p>“Nonsense,” dismissed Ferdinand with a flourish of his hand. “You are the esteemed heir of Margrave Edmund, and I am the legitimate son of House Aegir. Together, we shall be unstoppable!” He flashed Marianne a dazzling smile, which only caused Margrave Edmund's daughter to pray more fervently.</p><p>“Well, as fun as all this inter-house bonding is,” smirked Claude, “We should probably get started. You both will have until, let’s say… noon to present your dish to the judges. Begin!”</p><p>It was only when Edelgard stepped into the kitchen that she realized what a horrible mistake she had made. The princess was skilled at many things-battle strategy, oration, academics-but her experiences in the kitchen were incomplete at best. She turned toward her companion. “I must confess that my own cooking experience is rather limited, my teacher. I may be relying on you quite heavily.”</p><p>Byleth offered one of her precious small smiles to her student. “I used to prepare game with my father, so I'm happy to help. Thank you for inviting me to participate.”</p><p>Edelgard responded with a warm smile of her own. “It is my pleasure. I’m sure someone as wonderful as you constantly has people demanding her time.”</p><p>“Not really,” said her professor, shaking her head. “I was very surprised when you and Dorothea said I should sit with you the other day. Most people in my father’s company didn’t spend much time with me. A lot of them would get up and leave when I would try to sit with them.”</p><p>Edelgard looked at her companion, outraged. “Why?”</p><p>Byleth shrugged, “Papa said it was because I was special, and told me not to worry about what other people thought. It hadn’t really bothered me until I came here, but-” She looked at her student with sadness. “I am a bit…different, aren’t I?”</p><p>
  <em>El sat in her room, carefully arranging her stuffed animals into the perfect configuration for a tea party. She was just preparing to pour some to her favorite stuffed bear, when she heard a knock on the door. “May I enter, dear?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Of course, Father!”<br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Into the young girl’s room strode Emperor Ionius IX, a man whose powerful figure and handsome face made him seem as if he were a king from storybook come to life. He sat down on one of Edelgard’s tiny chairs, and looked toward his daughter with evident fondness. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“May I have some tea?” he asked politely, taking one of the teacups on the table. El giggled and pretended to pour him a cup. The Emperor of Adrestia imitated a drinking motion, before placing his cup in its saucer. “I heard from Agnes about your latest adventure.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El crossed her arms. “I don’t know why everyone tries to stop me from going to the market and the park alone. I just want to make friends.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ionius looked at his daughter sadly. “Can’t you play with your siblings? Or Hubert?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hubert can’t play with me, or his dad yells at him,” grumbled El. “And I just want to have one friend that’s <strong>mine</strong>. Somebody who likes to just spend time with me, because I’m me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s-oh El…” the Emperor placed his hand on his daughter’s shoulder. “I know you want a friend, and to just be like other people. But you are a princess of the Adrestian Empire, and…” He hesitated for a moment. “We are not like other people. Our position means that we are always going to be…different from the rest of the world.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El looked at her father miserably. “Even if it makes us sad?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Even if it makes us very sad. Sometimes, we have to give up the things we want more than anything, the things that we know would make us happy, because that’s what Adrestia needs.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>El nodded glumly. “I understand, Father.”</em>
</p><p>“Well, I cannot speak for your own situation, but as a future Emperor, I do understand what it is like to be…apart from others. It can be very lonely.” The princess smiled at Byleth. “I guess we will just have to be different together.”</p><p>At this, Byleth brightened considerably. “Thank you, Edelgard.” She looked at the book of recipes. “Did you have an idea in mind?”</p><p>Edelgard hummed. “I was thinking the peach sorbet sounded rather nice.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>After Byleth showed Edelgard how to chop up the fruit and prepare the other ingredients, the two women fell into a comfortable quiet. Edelgard could feel the tension from the past few weeks-the Red Canyon, her meeting with Lonato-momentarily disappear. For a precious moment in time, there were no plans or schemes, no moral dilemmas, no meetings with arrogant nobles or paperwork to sign. She was just Edelgard.</p><p>The princess began to daydream. She thought about a quiet cottage somewhere far away from Enbarr. A place where the words "Emperor" and "Hresvelg" held no special meaning. A small table in the front garden, perfect for sipping tea as Edelgard felt a cool breeze on her face. Of Byleth… Edelgard shook her head to dispel her childish fantasies.</p><p>As they added the sugar to the saucepan, Byleth tasted a bit of the powder that had been left on her finger. “Edelgard,” said the clearly perplexed professor, “what is this?”</p><p>The princess looked at the mercenary with confusion. “What do you mean, my teacher?”</p><p>“This white powder. It’s very good.”</p><p>“Professor, that’s sugar. You put it in things like desserts to make it taste better.” She considered her teacher for a moment. “You <em>have </em>had a dessert before, right?”</p><p>Her teacher was clearly puzzled. “I may have, but I don’t remember.” She put her hand on her chin pensively. “I always just ate because… because I was hungry. What it was didn’t really matter.”</p><p>Edelgard was completely at a loss for what to say. The future Emperor was used to looking at others as assets. As tools that would help her obtain her goals. She knew if she opened herself to others, it would only make things that much worse when she was inevitably left alone. She had closed off her own heart so completely that she had forgotten what it felt like to worry about someone else.</p><p>The princess realized something that threatened to undermine the very goals that had defined her life: though she had many questions about the enigma that was her professor, the foremost concern at this moment was for her teacher, and friend.</p><p>“Do you have a favorite food?” asked the princess.</p><p>“I do not know.”</p><p>“A preferred tea blend?</p><p>“I don’t think so.”</p><p>“What about a favorite flower?”</p><p>Byleth did not respond, but looked away sadly. “The only thing I’ve ever really done is fight. It was just a… a fog, moving from one assignment to the next. Some of the mercenaries said I wasn’t human, they even called me-“</p><p>“No!” exclaimed Edelgard, momentarily forgetting her carefully calculated royal bearing. “Listen to me. No one is just a weapon.” She thought of Thales’ sneering face and mages cutting into her flesh. “I have to believe that each of us can be something more.”</p><p>Byleth appeared surprised at her normally collected companion’s outburst.</p><p>The princess smiled, and attempted to regain her usual poise. “My teacher, I have an idea. Why don’t we try to figure out some of the things you like? We’ll make it a regular plan on the weekends. Everyone should have things they enjoy, and it’s the least I can do for all your help today.” She grinned. "Without you, I'd probably be using my ax to chop up this food."</p><p>“I’d like that very much Edelgard.” Byleth turned back toward the kitchen counter. “We probably should finish this dessert though. I’m sure Ferdinand is very eager to beat you.”</p><p>Edelgard smirked. “I’m sure he’s very eager to try.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the professor and the princess carried their dish into the main dining hall, they walked out to see a clearly flustered Marianne apologizing to Ferdinand.</p><p>“I don’t know how I managed to make such a mess in the kitchen, Ferdinand.” She refused to meet her partner’s eyes. “You’ll probably lose because of me.”</p><p>Ferdinand chuckled. “Worry not, Marianne. I have lost many times to Edelgard.” He placed his hand on his chest, and assumed a gallant pose. “I only need to defeat Edelgard once, and for that I shall continue to strive. Besides,” he said magnanimously. “I would have had little idea of what I was doing, if not for your guidance.”</p><p>Edelgard rolled her eyes. “So all of this was yet another waste of time, Ferdinand?”</p><p>“I disagree, Edelgard” said Byleth calmly. The three students all turned to her in surprise. “Look at how you learned skills you would have never attempted without Ferdinand’s challenge. Marianne was able to use her talents to help Ferdinand.” She smiled. “And…we all had fun.”</p><p>“Now you understand!” exclaimed Ferdinand. “It does not truly matter whether I defeat Edelgard, but instead that our rivalry pushes us both to even greater heights.”</p><p>“Goddess help me, that actually makes sense,” sighed Edelgard. “I suppose I am grateful to you, Ferdinand.” She turned toward the Golden Deer house member. “And thank you for helping so much, Marianne. It’s only because of you that Ferdinand avoided setting the kitchen on fire.”</p><p>Marianne looked away. “Um…thank you, everyone…you’re all very kind to worry about someone like me.”</p><p>“Nonsense! The noble Ferdinand von Aegir does not let just anyone act as his partner! It was a true honor.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Claude and Dimitri both ate their desserts in silence.</p><p>“Well?” said Ferdinand, who was leaning forward, hands clenched.</p><p>“I’m actually not really a sweets guy,” said Claude, “but I think I’m going to give this to whoever did the peach sorbet.”</p><p>Dimitri rubbed his head self-consciously. “Well, they’re both very good, I thought-“</p><p>“Oh no you don’t!” said Claude. “I’m not letting you get away with that. Give us an answer.”</p><p>Dimitri hesitated momentarily. “The sweet buns.”</p><p>Ferdinand turned to Edelgard exuberantly. “I have never tied you before! Truly, my greatness is beginning to reveal itself.” He turned toward Marianne. “I must give all the credit to you, and your fantastic guidance, Marianne! I shall be relying on you even more in the future.”</p><p>Marianne lowered her head in embarrassment, but the hint of a smile could be glimpsed on her face.</p><p>As Byleth and Edelgard prepared to leave, they were stopped by Dimitri. “The Archbishop made a request of both Professor Hanneman and me,” he began. “Since your mission this month will involve assisting in putting down Lord Lonato’s shameful rebellion, she recommended Ashe come along, to act as a guide for the area.”</p><p>Edelgard thought back to Lonato’s request, and his certainty that the Archbishop would want Ashe to witness his death. She felt rage begin to overwhelm her. “Perhaps it would not be prudent to bring a boy along to witness the death of his adoptive father.” Realizing how emotional she sounded, she quickly attempted to take a dispassionate tone. “He will likely be a hindrance due to his emotional connections, and our house does not need a liability on the battlefield.”</p><p>Dimitri’s expression became pained. “You are right, of course. I…know the impact that witnessing such things can…” Abruptly, the shadow crossing his face disappeared, and he returned to his artificially calm voice. “Regardless, as the future King of Faerghus, I would be remiss if the Blue Lion house did not assist in dealing with a problem in our own territory. I insist that you take someone along.”</p><p>Byleth put her hands to her chin. “Would you mind if I took a week to decide? I need to determine who in your house would be most helpful for this mission.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The day the Black Eagles were planned to leave for the Gaspard region, Edelgard had arrived in the classroom early, to discuss tactics with Byleth. The Magdred Way was noted for its fog at this time of year, and the lack of visibility would necessitate a more defensive strategy than either Edelgard or Byleth preferred.</p><p>As she entered the classroom, she was surprised to find that another student was already there, apparently engrossed in conversation with the professor.</p><p>Byleth smiled at her house leader. “Edelgard, here’s the member of Dimitri’s house who agreed to help out.”</p><p>The two students looked at each other. “Hello, Edelgard,” said the Faerghus noble, trying and failing to hide her disapproval. “I look forward working with you.”</p><p>Edelgard inwardly groaned. “I feel the same, Ingrid.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Will I shamelessly pillage the Edge of Dawn lyrics when I can't figure out a chapter title? You bet!</p><p>I figure this is a good time to discuss/talk about how I'm handling Byleth. I was really intrigued by a bit of monastery dialogue that Byleth can have with Petra, where they discuss Byleth's previous mercenary jobs in the Kingdom, and when Petra asks if it was cold, Byleth says they can't remember. I'm very taken with the idea that both Byleth and Edelgard had somewhat turned off their humanity before the "Inevitable Encounter" between the two of them in the prologue. Given the Crimson Flower route's focus on choice and free will, it works very well for what I want to do in this fic.</p><p>I find Ferdinand's dynamic with Marianne rather charming in their supports, and his advice to her about "everyone having a purpose" is legitimately heart-warming, so this isn't the last you'll see of these two.</p><p>Ingrid is going to be very important in this fic, but I'll discuss more of this next chapter after Lonato.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Lost in the Fog</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The dreary and cold Faerghus countryside was disturbingly familiar, which made the march up toward Gaspard territory a cruel experience for the princess. Small events, from the smell of the pine needles to the calls of the native birds, seemed to awake long-repressed memories.</p><p>Without warning, or explanation, Edelgard would sense that these moments were ones she had experienced before, but her conscious mind remained unable to recall them. It was as if there was something, some important truth that lay just outside the princess’ awareness. Once or twice, she came to a stop, almost colliding with Petra, due to the intensity of these sensations. She felt as if she was drifting, lost in the great void that was her past.</p><p>She knew she had spent time in the Kingdom, and yet all she could recall from that period was tiny, scattered glimpses-there was a wonderful boy who gave her the dagger, her uncle, and… she remembered a woman hugging her tightly. It may have been her mother, and the fact that Edelgard could not know for certain cut her deeper than the wind ever could. How could any daughter forget her mother’s touch?</p><p>The emotional fatigue had tired the princess greatly, and though she now sat around the campfire with the other Black Eagles, she wanted nothing more than to retreat to the isolation of her tent, if only to stop the pounding sensation in her head.</p><p>Byleth had left to go haggle with the battalions, and procure some weapons and vulneraries from the merchants. This had left the Eagles to talk, along with their guest in this mission, Ingrid Galatea of the Blue Lions.</p><p>Caspar and Ingrid had quickly bonded over training strategies, and they and Ferdinand had spent much of the previous hour conversing enthusiastically over the finer points of weapon maintenance.</p><p>“I must thank you all,” said Ingrid politely. “I must admit, when Professor Byleth asked me to come along on this mission, I was a little unsure about how I’d be received, but you’ve all been very welcoming.”</p><p>“Oh, Ingrid, you are just adorable,” said Dorothea. “It’s no trouble at all, and we’re thrilled to have someone as talented as you helping us out.” She sighed. “And hopefully, the Knights will have this ugly business solved, so we won’t even be needed.”</p><p>“Well, I must admit that the opportunity to fight alongside the famous Knights of Seiros and Professor Byleth was a key factor in my joining you.” Ingrid leaned her weight on her lance as she spoke. “Professor Hanneman is a fine teacher, but I had been hoping for a few more lectures on battle tactics, and a few less on crest symbology.”</p><p>“That is understandable. You wish to become a knight, do you not?” said Ferdinand. “I find your dedication and drive truly commendable.”</p><p>“Wow, Edelgard!” exclaimed Caspar. “Maybe you should ask Ingrid to work as a knight for the Empire.”</p><p>The atmosphere suddenly turned tense. Edelgard gave a false smile, and politely demurred. “Oh, I don’t think Ingrid would be very interested in that, Caspar.”</p><p>With the infuriating innocence of a child, Caspar persisted. “Why not? You need bodyguards as Emperor, right? It just makes sense.”</p><p>A seemingly sleeping Linhardt opened one eye. “They dislike one another, Caspar. I thought that was obvious.” Silence reigned over the campfire.</p><p>Dorothea awkwardly chuckled. “You know everyone, Petra was just telling me this interesting fact about how they braid hair in Brigid…”</p><p>“If a member of a foreign power has a problem with Lady Edelgard, I must insure she is not a potential threat,” hissed Hubert. “What exactly is the nature of your quarrel with her, Ingrid?”</p><p>Edelgard eyed her classmates dangerously. “Neither Ingrid nor I will respond to unfounded speculations. Is that clear?” She turned to Dorothea and smiled. “Now, what were you saying, Dorothea?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard rubbed her eyes, and prepared to leave her tent for her watch. Though as princess, she certainly had the right to delegate these duties, she insisted that she not be treated differently than any of her classmates. When she went to spell the guard, she realized, to her dismay, it was the one person she had been hoping to avoid.</p><p>Ingrid sat around the campfire embers, sharpening a gleaming steel sword. When she saw Edelgard approach, the Lion returned her attention to her task.</p><p>“I’m here to relieve you, Ingrid.”</p><p>The noblewoman nodded, and gathered her equipment to leave. Edelgard assumed a confident pose, attempting to ignore the awkward nature of the situation.</p><p>“I wish to apologize for the actions of my classmates tonight. They can be a bit more…unruly than the Blue Lions.”</p><p>Ingrid sighed. “I do appreciate you stepping in, but they’re not wrong, are they?” She glared at Edelgard. “You find my desire to be a knight foolish, don’t you?”</p><p>Edelgard’s eyes narrowed. “While I truly admire your desire for self-improvement, becoming a knight is a phenomenal waste of your talents, Ingrid. The most important thing any of us can have is our freedom, and you want to devote yourself to serving a master? Following someone’s orders unquestioningly?”</p><p>“It doesn’t seem to bother you when Hubert throws himself into completing every little task for you,” said Ingrid, scowling. She raised her finger toward the Black Eagle house leader. “Or is that just to give the posh princess the opportunity to look down her nose at everyone else?”</p><p>“Do <em>not</em> bring Hubert into this,” growled the princess. “Do you truly believe that you will be some fairy-tale knight in a storybook, fighting for honor?” Edelgard gestured wildly with her arm. “Look at what we’re doing tomorrow. The Church is just using us for their own selfish interests. Is that all you truly aspire to be? A weapon for others to wield?”</p><p>Ingrid stood defiantly. “I trust Edelgard. I trust that the people and institutions around me will act with integrity and decency. The Church provides structure and order to the people of this continent, and for that, I am happy to serve. The principles of chivalry may be out of storybook, but they give me an ideal that I aspire to meet.” She looked toward the fire, its sparks dancing in her eyes. “The very duty and pride of knighthood comes from obeying orders, regardless of your feelings.”</p><p>“Fine sentiment,” scoffed Edelgard. “Faerghus certainly has a talent for romanticizing unquestioned obedience.”</p><p>“I truly do not understand what a talented and humble woman like Professor Byleth sees in a smug, egotistic noble like you.” Ingrid began to walk toward her tent. “Whatever the reason, rest assured that your act doesn’t fool me.”</p><p>As the princess sat for sentry duty, the gloom of the Faerghus pinewoods made a fitting companion for her mood.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the class entered Magdred Way, Byleth turned back toward her students. “This is not a mission against a few disorganized bandits. These people are fighting for a cause. All of you must take care.” The Black Eagles could only nod.</p><p>Catherine stood next to Byleth, Thunderbrand gleaming at her side. “I hope babysitting these kids isn’t going to stop you from showing me your skills, Professor. I have to say, I’m excited to see what all the fuss is about.”</p><p>Byleth’s fingers gripped the hilt of her sword. “I will help complete this mission, but my greatest concern is for the safety of my students.” She held her hand toward the air. “With visibility this poor, it is very important for us to stay together. They know the area better than we do, so this gives Lonato’s forces a big advantage.”</p><p>Ingrid looked around herself warily. “Even for Magdred, this amount of fog is… unusual. We should be on our guard.”</p><p>Byleth turned to Ingrid and Edelgard. “If we get separated, I’m relying on you two. Don’t allow anyone to panic.” The two students nodded.</p><p>Catherine laughed. “No reason to spook the kids, Professor! A bunch of farmers aren’t going to stand a chance against Thunderbrand.”</p><p>As the class pushed forward into the fog, Catherine’s prediction proved accurate. She acted as the vanguard for the Church forces, and cut down soldier after soldier in Lonato’s militia. As Lonato had foretold, it was a slaughter. As the princess looked at the awe-struck faces of her classmates, she grimly understood Rhea’s true purpose behind the mission. Even Edelgard, who had been resigned to conflict with the Church for years, felt her resolve tested by the strength of Catherine and her relic weapon.</p><p>Byleth turned toward Edelgard and Ingrid. “Watch our back flank. Catherine’s pushing us forward too quickly.” Catherine had moved father and farther ahead of the Eagles, leaving Byleth alone to warily monitor what little of the treeline was visible in the mist. Moving quickly, the two nobles set themselves on either side of Linhardt and a quivering Bernadetta. Both Ingrid and Edelgard were veteran fighters, and their keen eyes darted across the forest for glimpses of the enemy.</p><p>Suddenly, Ingrid yelled, “Archers!” and pulled Bernadetta to the ground. An arrow came whizzing over the spot where the young girl had been standing, and the Black Eagles quickly sprang into combat readiness.</p><p>Four members of Lonato’s militia came charging out of the haze, and were confronted by Caspar, Ferdinand, Petra, and Byleth. Though the Eagles were clearly more skilled than the militia’s fighters, it was complicated by the mages and archers launching attacks from the forest. As one mage’s fireball spell hit the dead brush and trees that lined the woodland floor, it created a small brushfire that split the class in two.</p><p>Edelgard looked across the flames, to see her teacher’s concerned expression. “Don’t worry. We’ll move to the left and meet you up ahead,” called Edelgard, attempting to remain calm. She turned toward Ingrid, Linhardt and Bernadetta. “Let’s try to loop around the woods. You two, stay behind Ingrid and me and provide support.”</p><p>As Ingrid and Edelgard led their small group forward, the Faerghus noblewoman turned to the princess. “Do you remember what I said about the fog earlier?”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “Yes, and I agree, this certainly isn’t natural. There’s a dark mage somewhere around here.” She thought for a moment. “If this is a magic spell, then it should be most effective in the area closest to the mage.”</p><p>“Yes, the fog does appear to be unusually thick in this area,” hummed Linhardt, his finger resting on his chin.</p><p>Ingrid turned to the shy archer next to her. “Bernadetta, could you shoot a flaming arrow into the brush? We might be able to smoke out anyone lurking.”</p><p>Bernadetta initially hesitated and looked toward her house leader, but Edelgard nodded. “Ingrid has a good plan, Bernadetta. Do as she says.”</p><p>As the Varley heir nocked her blazing arrow and let it fly, the group waited, spells and weapons at the ready. Suddenly, a bolt of dark energy shot toward Linhardt, knocking him off his feet. An enemy materialized at the entrance to the forest, face covered by a distinctive mask. Edelgard realized, to her alarm, that Thales’ men had infiltrated the Western Church.</p><p>The mage began unleashing a torrent of spells at the group, preventing Edelgard and Ingrid from closing the distance. Bernadetta continued to provide returning fire, but with Linhardt momentarily incapacitated, the students were at a clear disadvantage. The mage prepared a particularly potent spell, and flung it at the trembling archer.</p><p>Though Bernadetta was skilled with the bow, she still had a tendency to freeze on the battlefield in stressful situations, and this was one such example. Edelgard realized what was happening, and pushed her classmate out of the way, taking a blast of dark magic directly in her chest. Staggered, she dropped to one knee. Ingrid rushed over to help her up, but Edelgard waved her off.</p><p>“I’m… fine, Ingrid.” She glanced at their enemy. “If we can’t get in close, we’re finished.”</p><p>Ingrid looked at her companion. “Edelgard, do you know the strategy Kyphon and Loog used in the Battle of the Eagle and the Lion?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded, and turned back toward her house members. “Bernadetta! Linhardt!” she called. “Volley fire at our target!” The two Eagles acknowledged the princess' order, and began to launch spells and arrows at the mage, while Ingrid and Edelgard ran forward in a serpentine pattern. The enemy was overwhelmed, and fired a panicked spell that flew over Linhardt’s head. With a flying leap, Ingrid drove her spear through the mage’s chest.</p><p>As the mage’s breath stopped, the clouds surrounding the students began to dissipate. “Nice work, everyone,” said Edelgard. “Now let’s meet up with our classmates.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the students moved forward, Catherine and Byleth were already engaged in combat with Lonato. The Gaspard lord had taken a defensive position to protect himself from assaults from mages such as Hubert and Dorothea, and the cramped combat area forced melee fighters to attack one at a time.</p><p>Edelgard and Ingrid ran toward the two women. Ingrid turned to Byleth, spear at the ready. “How can we assist, Professor?”</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “We’re strong enough to defeat him, but unless we can get him out of this structure, it’s going to be difficult.”</p><p>Edelgard turned toward her teacher. Lonato was her responsibility, and she owed it to both Byleth and Lonato to end this. “Allow us to lure him out.”</p><p>As Edelgard moved into position, Ingrid stood behind her. At the sight of the two women, Lonato gave a small, tired smile. “To fall in battle against the Emperor and the heir to house Galatea. This truly will be a glorious death.”</p><p>Ingrid pleaded with the elderly man. “You are a good man, Lord Lonato, and my friend, Prince Dimitri, speaks highly of you. We have no wish to kill you. Why are you doing this?”</p><p>Lonato was breathing heavily, his strength taxed from the combat. “My lady, you must understand, I cannot stop here. Both for my children, and for the people of Fódlan.” For one brief moment, Lonato stood tall and proud, the very picture of knightly honor, before sighing deeply. “Call me a heretic,” he said as he looked toward Edelgard, an unspoken understanding passing between the two of them. “But I will show you all the truth!”</p><p>As Ingrid and Edelgard stood their ground, Lord Lonato charged out of structure toward them, only to be staggered by a slash from Byleth’s sword. His horse reared back, and both Lonato and the horse tumbled to the earth.</p><p>As the injured man used his weapon to support himself, Catherine walked forward and extended Thunderbrand. “Do you accept the judgment of the Goddess?”</p><p>Lonato spat at her feet. “I do accept the Goddess’ judgment, but not from the likes of you, witch!” In a final burst of strength, he rose to his feet and lunged at his opponent, only to have Catherine plunge her sword through his chest.</p><p>“Christophe…” Lonato muttered, before crumpling lifelessly to the earth.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the shaken Black Eagle students collected themselves after the battle, Byleth addressed her students. “Everyone did fine work today. I am very proud of you, as difficult as this mission was.”</p><p>Caspar grinned and rubbed his head. “Man, you were a monster out there, Professor! You were taking out guys left and right! How can you move so fast?”</p><p>A shadow crossed Byleth’s face. “I…cannot allow any of you to be hurt. You are my responsibility, and if anything were to happen to you-“</p><p>Catherine, who had appeared shaken after the battle with Lonato, slapped Byleth on the back and grinned. “Heh, you’ve got nothing to worry about. You and these kids are something else, Professor.” She reached her hands behind her head, “I don’t get why Lonato charged out of that structure, though. It was like he gave up."</p><p>“Lonato realized that it was hopeless, and chose to die so most of his soldiers could be spared,” whispered Ingrid. "He died with honor."</p><p>Suddenly, a Church soldier came rushing toward the group. “Pardon me, Lady Catherine, but you’re going to want to see this!”</p><p>As the class and Byleth listened to the contents of the faked letter on Lonato's body, Edelgard reflected on her actions. Already, her war had cost the lives of Lonato and his men, and the price of her ideals would grow ever higher. </p><p>Still, the Church's actions galled her. That they had stooped so low as to bring students along, just to frighten them into obedience... Would anyone truly side with her after a display of power like today? It was only as the students began to disperse that she noticed Ingrid lingering nearby.</p><p>The two women looked at each other awkwardly, before they both grinned. “You did fine work today, Ingrid."</p><p>Ingrid nodded. “Same to you, Edelgard…and I wanted to apolo-“</p><p>Edelgard held her hand up quickly. “You have nothing to apologize for. I was the one who insulted your dreams.” She looked to the sky in frustration. “I believe everyone should be allowed to make their own choices, and yet the first time someone does something I don’t approve of…”</p><p>Ingrid shook her head. “That’s not why I’m apologizing. I admit, before today, I thought you were arrogant and spoiled, and only cared about yourself.” She looked toward the Black Eagle students. “But I saw you jump in front of an attack for one of your classmates, and I realized something when I saw the look in your eyes.”</p><p>“What did you see?” said the princess, clearly uncomfortable.</p><p>Ingrid gripped her spear tightly. “I don’t talk about it much, but I lost someone…I cared for deeply. It changed who I am forever. I resolved that I’d become strong to protect others, and now here I am, a noblewoman trying to become a knight.” Ingrid looked away from her fellow student’s gaze. “Today, when I saw the worry and concern on your face...how much you wanted to protect your friends. Well…” she looked sadly at Edelgard. “You also lost someone, didn’t you?”</p><p>Edelgard was momentarily stunned, and could only slowly nod.</p><p>Ingrid smiled sympathetically. “It’s not my place to pry further, but I'm sorry. Just know... you’re not alone.”</p><p>As the two students stood in silence, Byleth walked toward them. “We should head out. You both were exceptional today.” She turned toward Ingrid. “We’re going to miss having you on missions.”</p><p>Ingrid smiled. “Actually, since the three of us are here, I wanted to ask about a possible transfer to the Black Eagle house.” She laughed at Byleth and Edelgard’s look of surprise. “Listen, Professor, I saw your tactical skill at the mock battle, and now how prepared your students were in a difficult mission like this. If I truly want to become a knight, there’s no better person I can learn from, with all due respect to Professor Hanneman.”</p><p>She turned toward Edelgard. “I know we have our disagreements, Edelgard, but I-“</p><p>“Ingrid, your strong beliefs and principles are nothing but an asset. If I am to be a truly worthy leader, I require people around me who are talented and will force me to consider differing ideas. We’d be honored to have you. Besides…” grinned the princess, “you’ve seen how it is around here. No one really listens to me anyway.”</p><p>“Then it’s settled!” said Ingrid happily. “We’ll iron out the details when we get back to Garreg Mach.”</p><p>As Ingrid ran ahead to catch up with her new classmates, Edelgard lingered for a moment.</p><p>“Are you okay, Edelgard?” whispered Byleth.</p><p>The princess looked at the sky. “I just was thinking about Lord Lonato. He was fighting a battle against the Church he could not hope to win, yet followed the strength of his convictions to the end.” Her voice was full of melancholy. “I think there is something to admire in that.”</p><p>Byleth nodded. “From what Ashe has told me, he was a good man. Before coming to Garreg Mach, I wouldn’t have understood dying for something. But now that I’ve met you and the other Eagles…” She smiled at Edelgard. “If he died for what he believed in, I hope he has found peace.”</p><p>Edelgard turned, eager to leave Magdred Way behind. “So do I, my teacher,” she sighed. “So do I.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-I will always be grateful to this game for what is a shockingly accurate picture of PTSD-induced memory loss, including how Edelgard attempts to hide it. You may have noticed a large focus on Edelgard's memories and past so far-that will continue throughout White Clouds.</p><p>-So let's talk about Ingrid! Ingrid to me is a fascinating character, because she deeply values traditions such as knighthood and loyalty, yet she also wants to break free from the traditional expectations of her position as a crest-bearing noble. It makes her a really interesting secondary character, and one that, in my opinion, works really well in CF. Ingrid's being caught between these poles and attempting to decide what she wants-what she calls "her own beliefs" in her Felix support-will make her very important going forward.</p><p>-Ingrid's desire to be a knight is so tied up in attempting to live up to her own idealized memories of Glenn, and the way Edelgard and Ingrid throw themselves into the roles of "Emperor" and "Knight" will be something we're going to come back to.</p><p>-I also like her because she's articulate and smart, and she's going to be able to push back on some of Edelgard's ideas. You'll note that they didn't really solve their ideological differences here-that's intentional.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Rebirth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>It was a glorious morning in Enbarr, and the halls of the palace echoed with the sound of a child’s footsteps. The young girl giggled as she ran toward her older sister’s room, her face brimming with anticipation. The palace staff smiled benevolently as she rushed past. Everyone loved little El, and the joy of the precocious child was infectious, from the chambermaids to the Emperor himself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Agnes! Agnes!” she called from outside the door, “Guess what day it is! Guess!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El’s sister opened the door to her room, as always, immaculately dressed and prepared despite the early hour, with her hair tied up casually in a side ponytail. El hoped that one day, she could be that graceful and beautiful. “It’s very early, El,” mumbled Agnes. “I know that it’s the Goddess’s Rite of Rebirth, but it’s barely past dawn.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El hopped up and down. “I couldn’t sleep!” Although many pilgrims visited Garreg Mach for the Rite, Enbarr, Derdriu, and Fhirdiad, along with all the other major cities of the continent, would hold extensive celebrations to mark the most important day on the Church calendar. The streets of Enbarr would be lined with merchants plying their wares, and an elaborate reenactment of Seiros’ victory over King Nemesis would take place in the center square tonight. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>For a young girl bearing the Crest of Seiros, it was an especially important day. A day she felt tantalizingly close to both the namesake of her Crest and the Goddess. “Are you ready to go?” pestered El. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Come in while I finish my hair,” said Agnes, resigned to an early start to her day.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As El sat on her older sister’s bed, legs dangling, she watched eagerly as her sister prepared her beautiful black hair into an elaborate pair of sidebuns. Finally, El broke the silence. “Do you think Seiros and the Goddess are proud of me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why would you ever ask something like that, El?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sometimes, I feel like the Goddess made a mistake giving me a Crest.” El looked at her sister with admiration. “You’re so pretty and smart, and you always look so nice, and you didn’t get a Crest. She had to make a mistake.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes chuckled lightly, and sat down on the bed next to her beloved sister. She wrapped her arms around her tightly, before looking into El’s bright lilac eyes. “I have no doubt you will grow up to be very, very beautiful. But I know why the Goddess blessed you, and it’s because of this.” She pointed to El’s chest. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The young girl looked at her older sister with confusion. “What do you mean?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met, El," said Agnes. “You care so deeply, and that’s what makes you special, not your Crest or your title.” She squeezed her sister’s hand tightly. “Promise me you’ll always keep that big heart, whatever happens, and that you will find someone who recognizes just how wonderful you are.”</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>As Edelgard walked through the hallways of Garreg Mach with Byleth, she winced. There was a new chill in the fall air, and the cold caused a dull ache on her scars, particularly the remnants of the large gash Aegir’s men had opened on her chest.</p><p>Her teacher looked at her with concern. “Are you all right, Edelgard?”</p><p>The princess smiled. “Oh, it’s nothing, my teacher. I’m probably just on edge with this assassination plot. There’s a long history between the Church of Seiros and the Hresvelgs.”</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “I never had to worry about politics when I was a mercenary. It’s very confusing.” She smiled at her star pupil. “I feel like you teach me just as much as I teach you.”</p><p>As they arrived at the library, they agreed to split up momentarily. Edelgard had been pleased that her classmates and teacher had seen through the fake assassination note, and now the class was engaged in investigating the monastery for the true target. If Edelgard could get her classmates down in the tomb as the empty casket of Serios was opened, it would induce doubt and confusion among the student body, and eventually the noble houses of Fódlan.</p><p>Edelgard had been perusing some historical documents from the Alliance, when she saw a student struggling under the weight of multiple books. Edelgard rushed over and grabbed the majority of the pile. Her suspicions were confirmed when a small, white-haired girl looked up at her with irritation.</p><p>“As I have told you previously, <em>multiple times,</em> you do not have to help me, Edelgard!” said Lysithea with a cross expression.</p><p>The princess gave Lysithea a flattering smile. “Oh, I actually was just wondering if you’d like to help me and the Professor look for possible targets around Garreg Mach. We could always use another keen mind to analyze the situation.”</p><p>“So, you’ve deduced that the assassination attempt is a ruse as well? I was just explaining to Claude and Marianne-“</p><p>“Oh, Lysithea!” interrupted Byleth. “How are you feeling today? Would you like some help with those books?”</p><p>“I swear, you two are absolutely impossible. Why do you both treat me like I’m your…Arggh!” Lysithea pouted, before stomping her foot in frustration. “I have better things to do than be babied by you two!”</p><p>“That’s a shame,” said Edelgard, shaking her head. “The Professor and I were going to head to the dining hall for some saghert and cream after we had finished our investigation. But you wouldn’t be interested in something like that, I’m sure.”</p><p>“We were?”</p><p>Lysithea sighed. “I don’t know which one of you is more exasperating. Fine, I shall accompany you.” She shook her head, only to look at her companions hopefully. “You really are getting dessert afterward, right?”</p><p>Byleth and Edelgard grinned as they headed toward the next destination.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As they found themselves under the shadow of the cathedral, Edelgard protectively watched Lysithea walk in front of her. Edelgard had suspicions, or more accurately, fears about the young member of the Deer, from her snow-white hair to her physical weakness. Given the bits and pieces she knew, she had every reason to suspect that the young girl was yet another victim of the butchery that claimed Edelgard’s family.</p><p>The thought of someone as talented and sweet as Lysithea undergoing that relentless terror and agony chilled Edelgard to the bone. The precocious mage had once mentioned to Edelgard offhandedly that she was the sole heir to the Ordelia name. If Lysithea’s family had been used as prototypes… The princess looked at the gloves covering her scarred hands in disgust. All those people, sacrificed to create the Flame Emperor.</p><p>Byleth nudged her student softly. “Are you all right, Edelgard? You’ve become very pale.”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “I’m fine, my teacher, nothing to worry about.” She pointed up ahead, “It seems our classmates had the same idea we did.”</p><p>Ingrid, Bernadetta, and Hubert were examining the entrance to Saint Seiros’ tomb. Hubert looked at Lysithea warily, before turning to his liege. “I see the Professor is insistent on including the entire school in our mission. Should I go invite the Archbishop and see if she’d like to look for clues with us as well?”</p><p>Byleth stared at Hubert. “I think Archbishop Rhea is rather busy, but I’m sure she’d come along if I asked. Do you want me to ask?”</p><p>“The A-archbishop isn’t coming here…r-right? S-she’s the scariest person at the monastery, besides Hubert.” She looked up at her classmate, who was twirling a mass of dark energy around his fingers. “S-sorry, Hubert.”</p><p>“I take no offense, Lady Bernadetta, but I promise you, you have little to fear from me." Hubert gave the girl a sinister smile, which only enhanced his menacing appearance.</p><p>Ingrid and Edelgard rolled their eyes. “I presume everyone else has come to the same conclusions we have?” said the princess.</p><p>Ingrid nodded. “It just makes sense. The Tomb of Seiros is only open on the Rite of Rebirth, and every other site we’ve looked at is either not worth the risk or accessible on another day.” She looked at her classmate with anger. “To imagine that someone would attack a holy place on such an important day. Why would they desecrate the Saints' burial places like that?”</p><p>Hubert put his hand to his chin. “Perhaps the Church is attempting to conceal something? Seteth has a habit of making books disappear from the library.”</p><p>Ingrid shook her head. “Or perhaps these intruders are just attempting to cause trouble, Hubert. I doubt the Church is hiding some dark secret-they just don’t want people breaking in.”</p><p>Lysithea scowled, her voice darkening. “The Church is made of people, and people lie. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if they were hiding something.”</p><p>“Whatever the reason,” said Edelgard confidently. “I have faith that the Black Eagle class will be more than a match for any potential problems.” She paused momentarily. “By the way, Ingrid. Do you need any help with your transfer? I’d be remiss in my duties as house leader if I didn’t assist you.”</p><p>“I actually do have to meet with Dimitri for a moment. Would you and Professor Byleth mind coming along?”</p><p>After promising Lysithea that they’d meet each other in the dining hall afterward, the three women headed toward the academic wing of the monastery. After Edelgard was forced to make detours to prevent Caspar from getting into yet another fight, and waking Linhardt up to prevent him from sleeping in the gazebo, they found themselves in the Blue Lion classroom.</p><p>The walls were decorated with the insignia of Faerghus, and the bookshelves included a multitude of historical texts on Loog, the king who led the Holy Kingdom to independence from the Empire. Of course, the Church had “mediated” the separation, and given what Edelgard now knew about the immortal archbishop, she strongly suspected Faerghus' independence was a pretext to keep humanity divided and weak, dependent on the Church’s protection.</p><p>Edelgard took a moment to study the future king. Dimitri’s stance and posture were oddly timid for a man of his size and strength, as if he were afraid of shattering those around him to glass. Though he was outwardly the picture of nobility, Edelgard could see from the bags under his eyes, to the way his fingers twitched sporadically, that the young prince was living under a shadow.</p><p>“I must admit, Professor,” said Dimitri politely, “I was rather surprised when Ingrid asked to transfer out of our house.” He looked at his former classmate with disappointment. “I hope I have not in any way contributed to your decision, Ingrid.”</p><p>Ingrid shook her head. “This is a unique opportunity to train under an experienced mercenary. I could never let the chance to learn under a woman who made her living by her sword pass me by. I’ll still be around. After all, it’s not like anyone else can keep Sylvain and Felix in line.”</p><p>An annoyed grunt was heard behind them. “So, you’ve had enough of the Boar, have you? I’m not surprised you’ve decided to leave.” Felix turned toward Edelgard and Byleth. “First you two embarrassed him at the mock battle, and now you’ve recruited one of his oldest friends. Did you promise to let Ingrid chase after more of her stupid knight-“</p><p>“C’mon Felix, Ingrid just wants to learn from Professor Byleth, and honestly, who can blame her?” Sylvain chuckled. “I mean, she gets to spend all day around Dorothea and Petra, plus you two lovely ladies.” He winked. “I may just request for a transfer myself.”</p><p>While Ingrid glowered at Sylvain and Felix, Edelgard spoke up. “Ingrid will be an honored guest during her time with the Black Eagles, I give the three of you my word as house leader.”</p><p>Dimitri smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Edelgard. I have no doubt Ingrid will excel under Professor Byleth’s guidance.” He stared at his fellow house leader, an oddly wistful look in his eyes. “I can only hope this will mark the beginning of a greater friendship between the Black Eagles and Blue Lions.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the three women finished exchanging pleasantries before taking their leave, Ingrid turned to her companions and smiled. “I truly appreciate having you two there. Felix and Sylvain have never really taken my attempts to be a knight all that seriously, and Dimitri’s been so…troubled.”</p><p>Byleth looked at her with surprise. “Why would they care?”</p><p>Ingrid shrugged. “Sylvain just expects me to clean up the messes his flirting leaves behind, and Felix…” She looked up at the sky sadly. “I was…engaged to Felix’s brother, Glenn. He died at Duscur, and Felix has hated knights, and chivalry ever since. They're my dearest friends, but... they just can’t understand the position I’m in.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>The pegasus knight sighed. “Despite my family’s status, House Galatea has never been well-off after we split from the Alliance, and our territory struggles with meager harvests. Our family’s continued survival, and the well-being of the people we protect, is dependent on achieving some manner of financial stability. As the only person in my family with a Crest, I can marry into a wealthy family and give my people a future where-“ She trailed off into silence.</p><p>The princess knew why Ingrid was reluctant to speak further. Any noble child had seen the fate that awaited those poor women who were unfortunate enough to be “valued” for their Crest. Many gave birth to child after child, with little regard for the emotional or physical toll on their bodies. Though Edelgard had heard her father talk passionately about meeting her mother at Garreg Mach, the demand for Crest-bearing heirs had reduced her to one of the Emperor’s consorts.</p><p>Everywhere she looked, Crests ruined life after life. Her parents, her siblings, and people like Ingrid, forced to choose between a life where her sole worth depended on bearing children, and abandoning her people and family to suffer. Just like Lysithea, Ingrid was another victim of the cruel and irrational world they lived in.</p><p>“I certainly understand feeling trapped between personal desires and duty,” said Edelgard. “We have to tread lightly, since I'm a foreign head of state, but I may be able to access some of the Varley documents on the Empire’s new crop techniques.” The rest of the walk was spent brainstorming possible contacts, with a promise to return to the question later on.</p><p>As they stopped outside the dormitories, Ingrid smiled at the two women. “I can’t say how much I appreciate your help with everything today. You know how it is with old childhood friends.”</p><p>Both Edelgard and Byleth nodded politely, neither knowing how to respond. After Ingrid bid them farewell and headed toward her room, Byleth turned to Edelgard. “What did Ingrid mean about old friends?”</p><p>“I must confess that I don’t have much knowledge in that area myself, Hubert is the only person from that time in my life who’s still-“ The princess stopped speaking and sat down momentarily, trying to ignore the memories of Otto’s laughter or the warmth of Agnes’ hand-</p><p>“Still what, Edegard?”</p><p>The princess shook her head and stood. “It's nothing, I promise you. Just a momentary weakness.” She looked at the sky, which was beginning to turn a vibrant orange. “We have to hurry, I still have to check in on Petra and see Ferdinand to-“</p><p>“Edelgard,” interrupted Byleth’s calm, but commanding voice. “Stop.”</p><p>“Wha-What do you mean, my teacher?”</p><p>Her beloved teacher walked toward one of the benches that lined the paths of the monastery, and gestured for her student to sit. Wordlessly, Edelgard complied.</p><p>They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching as the sun dipped lower and lower in the sky. The occasional student wandered past, no greater concern in their heart than classes or tomorrow’s plans. Edelgard would have traded places with any of them. The princess would have gladly relinquished every bit of power and status she held to escape her gilded cage.</p><p>Abruptly, Byleth turned to her student, and broke the comfortable silence. “I’m worried about you.”</p><p>“Me? I’m fine, I just-“</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “You’ve said that to me a couple of times today, and I don’t believe you.” Her brow was furrowed with concern. “Just today you’ve been running around and helping out Ingrid and Lysithea, keeping track of Caspar and Linhardt, assisting with the mission…”</p><p>Edelgard shrugged. “It’s my duty as head of the Black Eagle house to assist my classmates. Everyone is counting on me.” She grinned. “If a little bit of fatigue is the price to pay for keeping everything running smoothly, then I’m happy to do it.”</p><p>Byleth nodded. “I understand, though I wish you’d let other people help.” She looked at Edelgard with those lovely blue eyes. “That’s not why I’m worried, though.”</p><p>Edelgard did not respond, and instead waited for her teacher to continue.</p><p>“I know that I am…not good at understanding what other people are feeling,” said Byleth with a sigh. She paused and tilted her head, as if listening to a voice only she could hear. “But you always treat me like I’m not unusual, and I feel…different when I’m around you. More…alive or aware. So, I pay special attention to you.”</p><p>The princess attempted to nonchalantly place both of her hands on her cheeks, to hide the now scarlet color of her face.</p><p>“Today, you’ve looked very sad. I don’t think it’s just because you’re working too hard. Is something wrong?”</p><p>How could Edelgard tell her teacher that at every moment her guilt and loneliness consumed her? The Rite of Rebirth was an inescapable reminder of just how much the Princess of Adrestia had lost. She remembered the whispers in the halls of Enbarr after the experiments. Questions muttered in hushed tones about the fate of the other children, and how faces that had once greeted her with a smile or a kind word now looked away when she entered. </p><p>Edelgard had done what was necessary. She had walked forward with head held high, steeled herself from the whispers and the stares. She refused to become a figure of pity, and buried a scared, lonely girl deep inside, where no one could hurt her anymore.</p><p>And now, here was this mysterious, wonderful woman, attempting to tear down the walls of Edelgard’s self-imposed prison. <em>When she finds out the truth about who and what you really are,</em> said a familiar evil voice in Edelgard’s head<em>. She’ll leave you as well. </em></p><p>Edelgard knew the voice was right, that a women as kind and lovely as Byleth would be horrified if she knew what her student had done and what she still planned to do. She could see the look of disgust in her teacher’s eyes at the scarred, monstrous body that lay beneath her school uniform. If the Goddess did exist, good and beautiful Byleth Eisner was exactly the sort of person that the Goddess would protect, just as the Church’s scriptures taught. The exact opposite of a wretch like her.</p><p>Still, there was a small flicker in Edelgard’s blackened, broken heart, and even the princess’ iron will was not unbreakable. “The Rite of Rebirth used to be a day that meant so much to me,” said Edelgard, voice faltering. “It was a day when I felt…special. But now, it’s just a reminder of many things that I’d like to forget.” She looked away, unable to meet Byleth's gaze. “I’m sorry to burden you with this, my teacher.”</p><p>Byleth shook her head, “Do you know what I saw today?” After Edelgard did not respond, the older woman continued. “I saw a person going out of their way, over and over again for other people, ignoring her own sadness to try to make other people’s days better.” Her azure eyes seemed to pierce Edelgard’s very soul. “Hiding your own problems does not make you strong, Edelgard.”</p><p>“I’m not sure that’s true. It’s just like a battlefield. Those who show weakness are easy prey.”</p><p>Byleth looked at her student with a deep sadness. “Is your whole life a battlefield, Edelgard?”</p><p>Edelgard stared at the sky, lilac softly reflecting the setting sun’s rays. “More and more, it seems that it is.”</p><p>“Well, if that’s the case, then you also must know what one of the first rules of combat is,” said Byleth. “Always find trustworthy partners on which you can rely. If you push your friends and classmates away, it will make you weaker, and prevent you from achieving your goals.” Byleth smiled. “Your classmates and I value you, Edelgard. Sometimes, I don’t think you see that.”</p><p><em>They do? </em>“You’ve given me a lot to think about, my teacher,” said Edelgard, emotion threatening to overwhelm her. “I will…reflect on this.”</p><p>Byleth stood, and offered Edelgard her hand. “We should hurry to the dining hall. Lysithea is probably waiting for us.”</p><p>As the princess walked with her professor, she thought back to her sister’s words all those years ago. Edelgard had been willing to sacrifice anything for her goal-a world where no little girl would ever grow up to be like her. However, when she was around Byleth, different dreams began to appear. Dreams of love, and friendship, of peaceful days, and all those small moments that Edelgard had steeled her heart against.</p><p>If a woman like Byleth cared about Edelgard, perhaps there was some hope for the Flame Emperor after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>El and Byleth are two emotionally stunted and repressed doofuses, and yet they both are so awkward, they loop right back around to being smooth as hell. </p><p>It is *canon* that Edelgard and Byleth adopted Lysithea after Crimson Flower, other endings be damned.</p><p>Hope everyone is staying safe out there, and thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Gods and Devils</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Edelgard buried her ax into the stomach of her opponent, she internally recoiled. No matter how many times Edelgard took part in combat, she never truly became accustomed to it. Of course, her outward reactions to the savagery of battle had dulled with time and experience, but the tumult in the princess’ heart had never fully stopped. This was the harsh truth that she refused to acknowledge, even to herself. For all her outward poise and stately bearing, the princess felt the burden of battle more deeply than anyone.</p><p>“You will be stopping here!” yelled Petra ferociously. As Edelgard watched her classmate make short work of the Western Church mages in front of them, she felt a mixture of pride and sadness. Edelgard remembered when her classmate had come to Enbarr a political pawn, a prisoner both scared and alone. Edelgard had deeply sympathized, and she had done everything in her power to help the Brigid native. Petra was an unfortunate victim of the political games and maneuverings that Edelgard deeply despised. That the future Emperor had become so adept at these same intrigues was yet another part of herself that she hated.</p><p>And now, Petra, a visitor to this foreign land, was in a dusty mausoleum, participating as a pawn in a squabble between two different branches of the Church of Seiros. Petra did not even worship Fódlan's Goddess, and yet here she was, conscripted all the same. Petra and Dorothea made a fantastic team, with Petra’s acrobatic swordplay combining with Dorothea’s ranged assaults into a ferocious combination. The undeniable chemistry between the two of them only increased their effectiveness.</p><p>Of course, these foot soldiers from the Western Church were not much of a threat to the well-trained students of Garreg Mach. Byleth’s tutelage had made every member of the class a skilled combatant, and the former mercenary was adept at recognizing how to utilize innate chemistry in combat. As Edelgard watched Bernadetta and Hubert rain death on enemies from afar, and Caspar and Linhardt form a dysfunctional yet effective tornado of destruction, she could not help admiring Byleth’s tactical gifts.</p><p>It really was her faith in her teacher that had allayed much of Edelgard’s guilt for indirectly involving her classmates in this conflict. She knew that whatever happened, she could rely on Byleth to maintain a cool and dispassionate tactical mind, and lead her students forward.</p><p>“Edelgard, on your right!” called Ingrid, who was engaged in battle with two mages. The princess nodded in acknowledgement, before sprinting toward one of the intruders to deliver a devastating blow with her ax. The panicked opponent conjured a barrier at the last moment, sending Edelgard stumbling backwards and causing her weapon to fly out of her hand.</p><p>“Not so tough now, huh?” taunted the enemy fighter with glee, only for it to turn to panic. Flames spilled from Edelgard's outstretched hand, incinerating her opponent.</p><p>Edelgard felt a presence, only to see her teacher standing next to her, holding Edelgard’s steel ax. “I must admit...” said the princess with a grin. “I was doubtful when you suggested I take lessons in magic, but you were right as usual, my teacher.”</p><p>Byleth smiled, her sword swung over her shoulder with a casualness that was incongruous with the battlefield. “After that night in Remire, I didn’t want you to go without a weapon ever again.” She looked around herself for a moment as her students worked toward the center of the room. “I’m so proud of you, and everyone else. The Black Eagles have come so far.”</p><p>“Not to interrupt the self-congratulations,” said Ingrid, hair slightly disheveled from combat, “but we still have to stop the intruders closer to the casket.”</p><p>“Eh, nothing to worry about!” gloated Caspar, as the rest of the students joined up again, the majority of the enemies wiped out. “With Professor Byleth on our side, we can’t lose!”</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “Overconfidence is dangerous, Caspar, and Ingrid is right. We need to get to the casket quickly.” She looked at the steps leading to Seiros’ grave, which were blocked by an imposing figure clothed all in black. “Why has that knight still not attacked?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>The imperial carriage bounced and jostled over the dirt roads, making Edelgard’s trip a thoroughly uncomfortable one. “Please tell me you have a good reason for this, Hubert,” huffed the princess. “Hiding my whereabouts from Arundel is difficult enough without my retainer keeping secrets from me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert glanced at Edelgard, a look of casual, practiced calm on his face. It was hard to believe that such self-control and poise belonged to a mere teenager. “You know as well as I that the walls in Enbarr have ears, Lady Edelgard. If we want to keep the vermin away, silence is our only option.” As their transportation came to a stop, he gave her a disconcerting smile. “I’m sure that once you meet him, you’ll understand why I felt this was worth your time.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard descended from the carriage, and quickly surveyed her surroundings. It was a small village, where, even the princess was uncertain. As she looked at the children running around in rags, she tightened her grip on the cloak that covered her silver hair and imperial outfit. These people would live and die in this tiny hamlet, with no chance to ever improve their lot. All because the Goddess had not seen fit to bless them with a Crest. No matter how talented or skilled, this was all they could ever be. If the Goddess loved everyone, did She not love these people as well? The princess shook her head to dispel her meaningless speculations.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As they entered a small shack on the outskirts of town, Hubert opened the wooden door for his liege, and they looked around. Even for the standards of the village, this small shack was decrepit, only truly consisting of a roof, walls, and a dirt floor. Within was a teenager boy, close in age to Edelgard, who crawled into a corner upon the intruders’ approach.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Stay away!” he screamed. “He’ll hurt you!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert chuckled darkly. “I doubt that very much, Emile.” He turned to Edelgard and extended his arm. “May I present to you Emile von Bartels, sole survivor of the Bartels massacre.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard gasped. “You mean…” She had heard the stories, the brutal killing of every member of the Bartels family by an unknown assailant. The hardened Imperial soldiers who had discovered the killings had stated they had never before seen such brutality visited upon bodies. Edelgard turned to her retainer. “Why have you called me here, Hubert?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert looked at Emile, whose body and countenance spoke of months of hardship and malnourishment. “Tell Lady Edelgard everything you told me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Emile looked at the princess, eyes burning with a fire that Edelgard knew all too well. “My father… he was going to take my sister. He said he needed her as his wife, for her Crest, for her bloodline. He was going to…” </em>
</p><p><em>The boy</em>'<em>s face contorted and the color drained from it into a deathly pallor. “I bathed in their blood,” he intoned in a haunting voice, “I killed all of the worthless fools, and enjoyed every moment of it.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Edelgard nodded calmly. “I see why you’ve brought me here.” She turned away from Emile and Hubert and looked at the wall of the shack. “You are not the only person who has suffered because of Crests, Emile.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The princess remembered the months following the experiments, when she would lie in bed, imagining all the brutal ways she would torture and mutilate Duke Aegir and all those responsible. The thoughts sickened the princess, because a small part of her took glee in it, even now. Though her anger had been honed into a vision of a better world, she could not help looking upon the boy with pity. If she had been given the opportunity Emile had…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard kneeled before Emile. “Nor are you the only person who has been twisted into a monster.” She took off her gloves, revealing the marred, shattered fingers that lay beneath. At this, Hubert turned away, unable to look. She extended her arm to the boy. “Come with me, and we’ll make a world where monsters like us are never created again.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Emile considered for a moment, before taking the princess’ scarred hand.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard, of course, knew the answer to her professor's question. She had told Jeritza to monitor the Western Church, but doing so risked bringing out his violent alter-ego, the Death Knight. The Flame Emperor had given strict instructions that his role was solely to defend and observe, but everything with Jeritza was…complicated.</p><p>Jeritza was a victim of the Crest system, just like Edelgard, but where the fires of her trauma forged the princess into a weapon, cold and unforgiving, Jeritza had shattered. Though he at his core was kind and loyal, his rage at the injustices he had endured had created the Death Knight, a figure who longed for violence. In Edelgard’s world, there was always a need to indulge his appetite, for which she carried immense guilt.</p><p>“I think our best strategy is to avoid him,” said Edelgard. “This figure has shown little inclination to attack, and I see no reason to change that.”</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “It’s our fastest route forward.” She addressed her class with her usual poise. “Edelgard, Ingrid, Ferdinand, and I will confront him, everyone else, provide support from the back.” She turned to a clearly winded Linhardt. “How much more healing can you provide?”</p><p>Linhardt shrugged. “As long as it’s not anything overly taxing.”</p><p>As the four frontline combatants moved forward, Edelgard felt deeply conflicted. As she watched Byleth casually direct Ferdinand, her teacher’s dark hair beautifully unkempt, she resolved that no matter what, her first priority was the safety of her teacher and her fellow students.</p><p>“You look capable of giving me a decent challenge,” said the armored devil, his voice menacing and inhuman. “How fun.”</p><p>Byleth turned her calm eyes to the demon, and then, suddenly, something happened. Edelgard felt a pounding in her head and a strange sense of déjà vu, and when she looked up, the serenity in her teacher’s eyes were gone, replaced with an emotion Edelgard had never seen before on Byleth’s face. Rage.</p><p>“You hurt them!” she screamed. “I’ll kill you!” Her entire body was shaking, from what appeared to be a combination of anger and exhaustion. But for all of Byleth’s outward fury, the truly terrifying thing were the mercenary’s eyes, which betrayed an enmity that was all the more frightening for their eerie calmness.</p><p>Ferdinand and Ingrid looked at Edelgard, too stunned to say anything. “My teacher, who has been hurt?” whispered Edelgard. Even the princess, not given to outward displays of emotion, was visibly upset at her teacher’s dramatic change in mood.</p><p>“He…hurt you, and… Ferdinand… I couldn’t…stop…” Byleth’s words were coming out in gasps at this point, and Edelgard could not escape the disturbing feeling that she had experienced this conversation multiple times before.</p><p>“Come,” taunted the Death Knight. “My blade has been sharpened, and it craves flesh.” Byleth staggered forward, only to be stopped by Edelgard’s hand.</p><p>“He’s not worth it, my teacher,” said Edelgard, concern lining her face. “Let’s finish the mission.”</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “That monster… I can’t let him…” Her breathing began to slow as she gripped the Flame Emperor’s forearm tightly. “You are right, Edelgard,” she turned toward the class, returning her usual emotionless monotone. “Everyone, get behind me.”</p><p>With shocking speed, Byleth sprinted forward, avoiding the Death Knight, and moving toward the mages at Seiros’ tomb. The swiftness and ferocity with which Byleth eradicated her foes was something to behold, and her students could only watch in awe as they attempted to keep up.</p><p>One of the mages had managed to pry open the Tomb, only to remove an ancient and wicked looking sword. Byleth was upon him in a flash, causing him to drop the weapon in his haste. She grabbed the sword in one fluid motion, and suddenly the sword was extending and twirling into a flail, viciously cutting down the few enemies that remained. Edelgard heard a gasp behind her from one of the students, but could only watch in wonderment as Byleth stood radiant, more god than human.</p><p>And then, suddenly, Byleth’s shoulders sank, and she stumbled toward her students. “Are... you all...safe?” she murmured. As Dorothea nodded, Byleth let out a small smile. “That’s...good,” she said quietly, before collapsing to the floor in a heap.</p><p>“Linhardt!” said Edelgard, failing to hide the panic in her heart. The healer had already anticipated the princess’ direction, and was examining her while using a healing spell.</p><p>“She’s been under a tremendous strain,” said Linhardt, who himself looked physically exhausted. “I may need some assistance.”</p><p>“Caspar, run upstairs and see if there’s another healer in the Cathedral, there’s bound to be someone there!” commanded Edelgard.</p><p>“Okay, but shouldn’t I get Lady Rhea-“</p><p>“DO IT NOW!" </p><p>Caspar scattered without another word, and Edelgard crouched next Byleth’s body, gripping her teacher’s hand tightly. The princess felt an arm rubbing her back, and Dorothea’s gentle voice comforting her. “She’ll be okay, Edie. I promise.”</p><p>Edelgard had felt more loss than any person should have to experience. This was the dark reality of the princess’ existence. Everyone who got close to her eventually paid the price. She had resolved to herself that she would never feel this fear, this weakness, ever again. Better to close off her heart, instead of watching helplessly as another person left her all alone.</p><p>The class sat in silence for the next few minutes until Caspar came downstairs, accompanied by a terrified and anxious Marianne. He pushed through the students before putting a hand on Linhardt’s shoulder, who fell to one knee, energy exhausted.</p><p>“Um…I don’t think I’ll be of much help, everyone,” muttered Marianne. “I..” she trailed off and looked at the floor sadly.</p><p>“There is no one else, Marianne. We need <em>you</em>!” said Edelgard, trying to hide the rising fear in her voice behind an authoritative tone.</p><p>Ferdinand stepped forward and put his hand on Marianne’s shoulder. “Remember how I said to you each of us has been given a purpose to fulfill? Well, at this moment we require you, Marianne.” He smiled at her, kindness and warmth radiating from him. “There is no one else I would trust more.”</p><p>At this, Marianne nodded with determination. “Okay…I’ll try,” and began fervently casting a healing spell on Professor Byleth. For a few minutes, no one spoke, until Byleth began to stir and opened her eyes slowly.</p><p>Byleth looked around blankly. “Where…”</p><p>Ingrid smiled. “We completed the mission, Professor, but you’ve overexerted yourself. Everyone’s been worried sick.”</p><p>“Especially Edelgard,” yelped Caspar.</p><p>Byleth turned, and saw Edelgard, still clutching her teacher’s forearm as if she would disappear at any moment. When Edelgard realized the attention she was drawing, she gently lowered Byleth’s hand to the floor, attempting to ignore the smirks on her classmates’ faces.</p><p>“It isn’t me you should thank, my teacher,” said Edelgard. “Linhardt and Marianne were instrumental in helping you recover.”</p><p>Byleth smiled. “Thank you both. I knew there was a reason Ferdinand and Edelgard spoke so highly of you, Marianne.” The young girl blushed profusely as Ferdinand slapped her on the back.</p><p>Byleth suddenly attempted to sit up, a look of concern on her face. “Where’s...?” she said with anger. Linhardt and Marianne pushed Byleth back down, continuing to treat her.</p><p>“He must have slipped out in the commotion,” said Hubert. “I don’t believe we have anything more to be concerned with for the moment.” He looked at Byleth with deep suspicion. “The real question is-how are you able to wield that sword, Professor?”</p><p>Confusion covered Byleth’s face. “What is this, Hubert?”</p><p>“Is that-“ interrupted the booming voice of Catherine, who had arrived at the forefront of a dispatch of knights. She looked at Byleth and the strange relic with disbelief. “We have to take you to Lady Rhea. Now.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The class had met back in the Black Eagle classroom, after Edelgard and the other students’ protests that Byleth needed time to rest were ignored. Byleth had assured her class that she would be fine, and the class had promised to wait for her to insure she was in good health.</p><p>When Edelgard arrived, Ferdinand and Marianne were quietly talking with Bernadetta and Hubert, Petra and Dorothea were fussing over an annoyed Ingrid’s hair, and Linhardt was unsuccessfully attempting to sleep while Caspar loudly conversed with him. Everyone turned to Edelgard when she entered, and the students met in the center of the room.</p><p>“So, is no one going to talk about what just happened down there?” said Dorothea, who was running her hands through her hair anxiously.</p><p>“Which part?” said Linhardt drily, head resting on one of the desks. “The Professor losing it, Saint Seiros’ body not being in her casket, or the fact the Sword of the Creator was in it instead?”</p><p>“Leave it to you to focus on archeological discoveries at a time like this, Lin” said Dorothea. “We all saw how the Professor reacted. It was as if she had watched someone die in front of her.”</p><p>“N-normally the Professor’s s-so calm,” squeaked Bernadetta. “B-but she kept talking about someone getting hurt.”</p><p>“The Professor cares for the students very much,” whispered Marianne. “She’s always checking in on me. I think she was…worried.”</p><p>“What are you thinking, Edelgard?” said Petra. “You are the one who is being close-is close to her.”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “I…I just don’t know.” A barrage of thoughts ran through Edelgard’s head. How could this woman wield the Sword of the Creator? Why did it lack a Crest stone? Just who was Byleth? Could she really be trusted?</p><p>Edelgard’s mind went back to that night in Remire, and when she remembered the concern in her teacher’s eyes as she protected Edelgard with no hesitation, she had her answer.</p><p>“Whatever is going on with Professor Byleth, the most important thing the Black Eagle house can do is support her. For all she has done for us, we owe her that.”</p><p>“I appreciate that, Edelgard,” came a calm voice behind her, and Edelgard jumped in surprise. Byleth was standing behind her, Sword of the Creator dangling at her hip. The princess tried to hide her excitement at the professor’s safe return, instead returning her gaze with a small smile.</p><p>“They let you keep it?” said Hubert incredulously.</p><p>“Yes, Rhea felt it would be best for me to hold onto it for now.” said Byleth, before turning to the rest of the class. “Thank you all for your help today. I’m sorry if I caused you any concern.”</p><p>Edelgard looked at her professor with a mixture of admiration and exasperation. Her professor had fainted in front of the entire class, and she was apologizing to everyone else? It was so like this strange, wonderful woman.</p><p>“Please don’t apologize, Professor” said Ingrid. “We’re just glad you’re safe.” She chuckled. “I think many of us weren’t used to seeing you display so much emotion.”</p><p>A shadow crossed Byleth’s face. “I won’t let anyone hurt my students. I promise you all.” She placed her arms behind her body and looked at the group sheepishly. “I know that was unusual for me, but I’ve never felt that angry before.”</p><p>“I think everyone here was quite happy to see you showing passion. It’s part of being human, and you have nothing to feel ashamed of.”</p><p>Byleth let out a sigh of relief at Edelgard’s words. “Are you sure?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “Of course, and if anyone tells you differently, they’re wrong. You were truly astounding on the battlefield today, my teacher.”</p><p>Dorothea laughed, “Of course you’d say that, Edie. You should have seen her face, Professor, when you-“</p><p>“Dorothea!”</p><p>As Edelgard and Dorothea squabbled, only to be joined by the rest of the Eagles, they were interrupted by Ferdinand’s boisterous voice.</p><p>“Everyone, may I please have your attention for a moment? Our fellow student who so graciously came to the aid of our Professor has something she wishes to tell us all.“</p><p>“Um…thank you, Ferdinand,” said Marianne. “I-I have something to say.” She quietly stood with her eyes closed, mentally preparing herself. Finally, she began to speak, for once her voice clear and strong. “I have always felt that I’m not good at anything. People have always avoided me because of my Crest, and I’ve never really talked to anyone before coming to Garreg Mach.“</p><p>She shook her head, only to regain her confidence after Ferdinand gave her an encouraging nod. “But people like Professor Byleth, Edelgard, and Ferdinand have told me that I can be more than a burden to others, and that I have a purpose. I’d…I’d like to find out what that is. Here, with the Black Eagles.”</p><p>Her worried eyes met Byleth and Edelgard's gaze. “If that won’t cause a problem.”</p><p>Edelgard looked at Marianne, and saw an opportunity to remedy her mistakes. “The Black Eagles would be honored to have you, Marianne,” said Edelgard kindly. Edelgard rejected the idea of fate, but as she reached out her hand to shake Marianne’s, she could not help but wonder if this was a chance to help someone in a different way than Emile, all those years ago.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>After the meeting, Edelgard sat in her room quietly, her head pounding. She had been forgoing sleep for too long, she realized, and the constant dull ache in her head had become a throbbing pain. What the princess needed now was just the chance to close her eyes…</p><p>As a flash of red appeared, Edelgard had to stifle a groan. Hubert materialized in her room, before greeting the future Emperor with a bow.</p><p>“If this is regarding your concerns about the Professor and the Sword of the Creator,” mumbled the princess. “Can it not wait until tomorrow?”</p><p>“You know me much too well, Lady Edelgard. Unfortunately, that is not why I am here.”</p><p>Edelgard felt a familiar sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Why <em>are</em> you here then, Hubert?”</p><p>“Because Lord Arundel wishes to speak with you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm a total sucker for the "calm, nice person loses it when loved ones are threatened" trope, and Byleth is now having *big feelings* about her new friends.</p><p>In one of the developer interviews, they mentioned that Edelgard was originally going to be able to interfere with Byleth's Divine Pulses, and I thought it'd be neat to show that Edelgard is somewhat aware that something is going on. I have some fun ideas for this down the line for both El and Byleth, particularly Sothis' line about how "Both sides of time are open to you." </p><p>I thought this was a nice place to bring in Marianne officially. I couldn't resist the parallels between Edelgard's recruitment of the Death Knight and bringing on Marianne as a way to show that Edelgard's already changing, even if she's not really aware of it. I love how Marianne becomes one of Edelgard's most ardent supporters in Crimson Flower, so look forward to more of her!</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Blades</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Edelgard stood alone in the Sealed Forest, she shivered unconsciously. The girl attempted to convince herself it was because of the harsh breeze blowing through the desolate clearing, but she knew the truth. From behind her mask, her lilac eyes darted from one tree to the next, looking for any sign of movement. It seemed that every shadow was a specter, every tree branch a demon lying in wait.</p><p>She struggled to ignore the familiar dread building in her heart, a paralyzing panic and numbness that made it more and more difficult to concentrate. Thoughts became scattered and her vision became blurred, as she attempted to reassert control. <em>He can’t hurt you. You’re in the armor. Be direct. Be clear. Don’t give him any more information than is necessary. He can’t hurt you-</em></p><p>“And how is my favorite niece?” came a slippery, cruel voice from behind the princess’ shoulder. Edelgard jumped, and though the Flame Emperor’s armor hid her expression, the look of sadistic pleasure on Arundel’s face made it clear that he had succeeded in his goal of intimidation.</p><p>“You are not my uncle, Thales,” snarled the Flame Emperor. <em>Keep calm, Edelgard. He’s playing games with you. </em>“Lord Arundel was a good man, who loved me. You are nothing but a fiend wearing his skin.”</p><p>The ghoul sneered. “Are you sure, little El? Perhaps we could go on a trip to Enbarr, for old time’s sake? We could visit that confectionary shop you loved so much.”</p><p>“How do you know about that?!” spat the Flame Emperor, hand reflexively gripping her ax. <em>You are in control. Not him. You.</em></p><p>Thales looked at the Flame Emperor with an appalling smile. “Maybe Lord Arundel told me, as I tortured him slowly and painfully. Perhaps while he begged me for his life like a mewling coward.”</p><p>To see the face of a person she loved and trusted saying such vile things left the princess’ mind in tatters. She felt her breathing continue to speed up, as she tried to remain composed.</p><p>
  <em>He’s lying to you. Uncle Volkhard was brave. He was a good man. He loved you. </em>
</p><p>“Or maybe-” The monster put his hand on Edelgard’s shoulder, peering at her with malevolence. “I’ve never told you when I replaced dear Uncle Volkhard. Perhaps it was much earlier than you ever thought?”</p><p>
  <em>Don’t listen to him. Don’t listen to him. DON’T LISTEN TO HIM.</em>
</p><p>His eyes were a black abyss that threatened to drown the princess. Edelgard was unable to look away. “Or…maybe I always was your Uncle Volkhard?” he leered wolfishly. “Maybe no one ever loved you at all, little Emperor?”</p><p>Edelgard wanted to run, to scream, but her body refused to obey her commands. It felt as if her limbs no longer worked, like a clock that remained stuck, the hands perpetually quivering. She was again a child in rags, hands and feet in chains, and terror in her heart. <em>I can’t escape. I can’t escape. Goddess-</em></p><p>Suddenly, a vision of azure eyes came to the forefront of the princess’ mind. <em>No, he’s wrong. Dorothea’s my friend. Marianne looks up to me. My classmates care for me. Byleth- </em>Edelgard took a long, deep breath and pushed Thales’ arm off her shoulder. “If you’re finished with the games, we have business to discuss.”</p><p>“As you wish.” Thales retreated from the unexpected contact, and gave the princess a disdainful look. “Your little scheme with the Western Church has failed. The Archbishop yet lives.”</p><p>Edelgard scoffed internally. Did the fool truly expect some clergymen to successfully assassinate the inhuman archbishop? She knew Thales was arrogant, but this staggered belief.</p><p>“Regardless,” said the Flame Emperor, feeling herself gain confidence and control in the verbal confrontation with her tormentor. “There is both good and bad news. The remains of Seiros were not in the Tomb.”</p><p>“As expected,” said Thales, clearly irritated. The Agarthians were not accustomed to being defied, and Edelgard's refusal to yield had made the imposter much less assertive and smug than the princess was used to seeing. It pleased her greatly. “What is the reaction among the students?”</p><p>“Many of the more faithful students are deeply distressed, and news has already began to leak out to the noble houses of Fodlan. I can tell you that even Duke Aegir’s son is quite disturbed.”</p><p>“Good,” said Thales. “Then what is the problem?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor hesitated. She did not like revealing this information, but if she wanted answers, it was an unfortunate necessity. “Something else was inside the Tomb. The Sword of the Creator.”</p><p>“Ah, the weapon wielded by that thief, the King of Liberation.”</p><p>Edelgard snorted. “A thief?” <em>Of course these arrogant monsters would look down upon a human king.</em> “The academy’s new professor now possesses the sword, and the Crest stone had already been removed.”</p><p>“Of course it was,” sighed Thales, already growing bored. “They would dare not keep the Crest stone and weapon in the same location.”</p><p>Between the stress of talking to this filth, and the bulky armor, Edelgard was beginning to sweat profusely. She wished she could be having tea with Byleth, or gardening with Bernadetta, anywhere but this forsaken patch of forest. <em>Forgive me Byleth, but if anyone will know the truth about the relic weapons and Crest stones…it’s them. </em>“There’s more to it. The professor was able to wield the sword. It glowed red. The professor’s Crest is compatible. There’s no mistaking it.”</p><p>Thales’ eyes widened in shock. “Absurd. The King of Liberation’s bloodline should not…”</p><p><em>So Byleth isn’t Nemesis’ descendent... What is she then? </em>“They must be allowed to keep it, for now. I do not have enough information about the professor to act.”</p><p>Thales smiled arrogantly. “Of course you don’t, my dear. Now, have you given any more thought to my request?” He leaned toward the princess with menace. “After all, it was my own recommendation that got our mutual friend Jeritza a position at the monastery. I do worry so about how he’s…<em>adjusting</em>.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor glared at Thales through her mask. “What do you need him for?” She pointed a finger in anger, fearing where this conversation was leading. “Do not do anything to compromise his position.”</p><p>“Hmm…” Thales put his hand to his chin. “Was the plan not to make him the Black Eagle house professor?” He sneered at the princess. “In fact, I believe accomplishing that was <em>your</em> task. With that no longer a possibility, you no longer require his services.” He reached down and cupped Edelgard’s chin. The princess shuddered, but refused to break eye contact. “And remember, my precious little niece...” he hissed. “Who exactly is in control here.”</p><p>The princess cursed Thales internally, but she knew she was outmaneuvered. “I assent. The Death Knight is at your command. Use him well.” <em>He’s taking one of my only allies…damn it.</em></p><p>Thales chuckled softly as he walked away from the princess. “I believe I will enjoy this a great deal.” He stopped and turned back toward Edelgard. “Oh…there is one more thing, my dear.”</p><p>Edelgard stood her ground. “What is it, you monster?”</p><p>“Rumors have been flying about how the Galatean and Edmund heirs have joined your class.” He clapped his hands together mockingly. “I am so <em>very</em> proud of my little El. She’s grown to become so cunning.” He held his hand to his cheek. “Sowing discord in the other houses before the inevitable war? How wonderfully devious.”</p><p>The princess' resolve crumbled. Doubt and uncertainty filled her mind. Was she just using her classmates? For all Edelgard's high-minded ideals, was she truly the same as Thales? A manipulator and deceiver? Was that the true reason behind her encouragement of Marianne and Ingrid's transfers? She could only stammer in response, attempting in vain to drown out the reproachful voices in her head. “No…I didn’t…they’re my-“</p><p>“They’re your <em>what</em>?” jeered the Agarthian. “Your friends? Do you really think they, or anyone else will side with you?” He laughed coldly. “No…they will flee from you in disgust when your true self is revealed. You know it in your heart.”</p><p>He walked toward the princess and tapped her helmet. “Always remember who your <em>true</em> friends are, little El. We gave you the armor, we gave you the soldiers, and we gave you a Crest powerful enough to strike down the very gods themselves.” His face contorted into a frightful glare. “You are nothing more than a weapon, and you would do well to remember that.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor and Thales glowered at each other, neither willing to concede. Finally, Thales backed away, laughing maliciously. The Flame Emperor stared at her tormenter with hatred. “I promise you...” she growled. “When all this is over. I’ll watch you die.”</p><p>Thales simply sneered in response, and both figures vanished from the Sealed Forest in flashes of red, leaving only silence behind in the desolate wood.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As Edelgard found herself back in her room at Garreg Mach, Hubert was waiting for her, a look of deep concern etched onto his face. Edelgard could not help but wonder what her classmates would think if they could see her retainer without his usual menacing expression.</p><p>She had been forced to convince Hubert not to accompany her to the meeting. The princess had told him that it was due to her concerns about his safety. However, the truth was that she could not bear to see his face as Thales bullied and berated her. Thales thought he was getting a puppet to control, and until Edelgard could cut the strings, she would have to play along with his games.</p><p>“How was the meeting, Lady Edelgard?” he intoned, hands placed behind his back.</p><p>Edelgard glared at him, feeling something inside her snap. “How do you think it went, Hubert?” She immediately regretted her words when she saw the pain in Hubert’s eyes, and turned toward him mournfully. “I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve that.” She collapsed onto her bed, heart still pounding in her chest. “He always knows just how to get under my skin.”</p><p>Hubert shook his head. “I take no offense.” A look of sheer malice crossed his face. “My only regret is that I cannot have one night with him in an Imperial dungeon.”</p><p>Edelgard looked at her lifelong companion sadly. Why was a man so loyal and devoted cursed to be in service to her? “Hubert, please don’t talk like that. It…it makes me wonder what your life might have been without-“ She trailed off.</p><p>Hubert began to pace frantically, as he always did when his liege showed signs of inner turmoil. “Without what, Lady Edelgard?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>El sat in the pristine palace garden, picking flowers quietly, when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned in surprise, only to see a timid black-haired boy with kind eyes, hiding behind the legs of a stern-looking older man with a bushy black mustache. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The man glared at the boy, and the youth's reaction gave the impression this was far from unusual. “This is the girl you have been assigned to protect, Hubert.” He pointed to the girl forcefully. “Remember, she is one of the few Hresvelgs with a Crest, so you must stay vigilant.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The boy stared at the ground, eyes downcast. “Yes, Father."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Good,” said the older man, who began to walk away swiftly. “I’ll be in to check on your efforts shortly. Do not disappoint me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El and the boy regarded each other warily for a moment, before El curtsied and stuck out her arm. “My name’s Edelgard, but my brothers and sisters call me El! Wanna play?” Hubert hesitated momentarily before gingerly taking the princess' hand. The girl’s face lit up excitedly, filled with eagerness to have found a new playmate.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert began to rub his fingers through his untidy black hair unconsciously. “I’m- I’m not sure I should. My father said I’m supposed to be protecting you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El giggled. “That’s silly! We can play a game together while you protect me.” She put her fingers to her chin and hummed, before handing Hubert a stick. “I’ll be a princess, and you can be the brave knight who defends me!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert’s eyes lit up. “Can I be a pegasus knight?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El shook her head. “Only girls can ride a pegasus-“ She stopped when she saw the sad look on Hubert’s face, and snickered. “Sure, Hubert! You can be whatever you want!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The hours flew by, as El and Hubert played and laughed on the castle lawn. For a young girl whose sole companions were her siblings, it was a dream come true. The blue sky had begun to turn a stunning orange when Hubert’s father appeared at the entrance to the garden. “Report, Hubert.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert and El ran up to Count Vestra eagerly, and the boy smiled and waved excitedly at his father, who did not return the gesture.“El is so nice! We played lots of games together, and she said she was so glad to have a friend her-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert’s father held up his hand. “What is this?” He pointed to El’s knee, which was bleeding slightly from a fall earlier in the day. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>El giggled, having completely forgotten the mishap. “Oh, I fell while Hubert and I were playing. It’s-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hubert, have you forgotten your station?” said the older man, incensed. “You are Lady Edelgard’s servant.” He knelt and stared intently at the boy. “Look at me. You are not to pretend to be Lady Edelgard’s friend. You are a member of House Vestra, and your task is to protect her with your life. Do you understand?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I understand, Father, but-“</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em><strong>Never</strong> talk back to me. I do not want to hear you using such a disrespectful name for Lady Edelgard ever again.” He pointed to the girl. “Apologize to her.”</em></p><p>
  <em>El protested angrily. “Hubert didn’t do anything wrong, he’s-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lord Vestra shook his head. “You will thank me for this when you are older, my lady. <strong>Now</strong>, Hubert.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert gave a deep bow, a pained expression on his face. “I apologize, Lady Edelgard. Your humble servant begs your forgiveness.” Hubert’s father gave him an approving nod, before spiriting his son away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As Hubert and his father left her alone, El was left with a feeling of deep sadness, but even she was surprised when her vision became clouded by tears.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Me-you’d have been much happier without me,” whispered the princess. “I’ve gotten to watch you over the past few months, and seeing you get to be a normal student, with the others…”</p><p>Hubert scowled. “Do you truly think I wish to be like them? Spoiled? Conceited?” He sank into the room’s only chair. “You know who their parents are, and what they did. I’ve seen the look on your face every time Ferdinand jabbers on about the greatness of his family. Aegir, Bergliez, Hevring…None of them can be trusted.”</p><p>“I trust <em>you</em>, Hubert,” said Edelgard softly. The princess had faith in very little, but Hubert's loyalty was the one constant on which she could rely. “You are not your father. And neither are Ferdinand, or Caspar, or Linhardt, infuriating as they may be. If our whole goal is to end the power of bloodlines, it cannot be just undeserved rewards; it also must include undeserved blame, as well.”</p><p>Hubert shook his head. “Ferdinand did invite me to drink some of his disgusting tea with him and Marianne,” he said quietly. “Perhaps I should-“ He looked at Edelgard and nodded. “Purely to keep up our appearances, you understand.”</p><p>The princess smiled. “I think that would be wise.” She looked toward the window, as a pegasus knight flew past. “Besides,” she teased. “I noticed you forgot to mention something in your discussion of our classmates.”</p><p>Hubert looked at her suspiciously. “What do you mean, Lady Edelgard? Your humble servant would never-“</p><p>“Oh, I was just observing that you neglected to mention Bernadetta in your list of who could not be trusted.” The princess' lilac eyes twinkled with amusement.</p><p>Hubert scoffed and refused to meet his liege’s gaze. “The Varley girl? She is completely harmless.”</p><p>“Oh? Then why, pray tell, did Professor Byleth and I happen to see you two in the greenhouse the other day? Were you performing reconnaissance?”</p><p>“We were…” Hubert paused, and looked at the ground, before mumbling indistinctly.</p><p>Edelgard grinned. “I’m sorry, Hubert. I didn’t catch that.”</p><p>“She was showing me her…plants. She tends to the…carnivorous plants in the greenhouse.” Hubert’s face was now bright red. “She says they remind her of me.”</p><p>The two old friends sat in silence, before they both smiled at one another. Edelgard began to chuckle. “Look at the two of us! One would think we were just a pair of carefree students.” She looked away with sadness. “I must confess, I know what must inevitably come, yet I cannot help longing for time to stop marching onward.”</p><p>Hubert stared at her intently. “Do you regret the path we have chosen?”</p><p>“No, never,” said the princess as she stood. “Even if I wanted to stop, I could not.” The girl's features were grim, hardening like steel. The Agarthians had wanted a weapon, and when the Flame Emperor's expression became this harsh, it was easy to believe they had succeeded.</p><p>“I see their faces every time I close my eyes. Here I stand in the warmth of the sun, while they lay in the cold, dark earth. How could I possibly live with myself if I did nothing?” Hubert did not reply, but looked away, unable to meet Edelgard's mournful gaze. She covered her face with her hands as her resolve faltered. “I miss them so much, Hubert. Every day.”</p><p>Hubert sighed. “That is why I caution you about getting too close to the Professor. You and I both saw her with that sword in the Tomb. We cannot even be sure she is what she claims. I-“ He frowned, a simple look that spoke to years of torment and anguish. “I will never let another person hurt you. Ever again.”</p><p>“Hubert-“ began the princess, before a knock on Edelgard’s door interrupted her. She took a moment to collect herself, and calmly opened the entryway, only to see a frazzled and exasperated-looking Ingrid.</p><p>“Edelgard, thank goodness. Have you seen Professor Byleth anywhere?”</p><p>“No,” said Edelgard with concern. “Did something happen?”</p><p>Ingrid sighed. “In a manner of speaking, yes.” She began playing with her hands, before slamming her fist into the wall in frustration. “Damn it! Can you help me find her? I could really use some help from both of you.”</p><p>As the two students rushed downstairs, Ingrid informed the princess of all the places she had searched. “I figured if anyone would know, it would be you, since you and Professor Byleth….”</p><p>“Since what, Ingrid?” said Edelgard, looking at her classmate suspiciously.</p><p>“Oh... nothing!”</p><p>Edelgard sighed deeply while she considered where her beloved professor may have gone. “Have you tried the pond?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the two women made their way through the dining hall, Edelgard could see a familiar black cloak sitting at the dock, with a broad-shouldered man seated next to her. Next to the two figures was a bucket absolutely overflowing with all manner of fish, and both Eisners were lazily reeling in their lines, neither appearing to have a care in the world.</p><p>“I’m so sorry to bother you, Professor, but I could really use your help,” apologized Ingrid.</p><p>Byleth turned to the intruders, a serene look on her face. When she saw Edelgard, her azure eyes lit up, the afternoon sun framing her messy hair beautifully. “How can I help you two? Papa and I were just finishing up.” Jeralt grunted from the dock, but did not turn around.</p><p>Ingrid bit her lip. “Sylvain found out about our mission this month with Miklan, and he’s insisting he should come with us. He and Dimitri just keep going at each other, and Felix isn’t helping matters. I’ve tried everything.” Ingrid began wringing her hands. “I just…don’t know what to do anymore.”</p><p>Byleth placed her hand on Ingrid’s shoulder, as always, projecting an aura of tranquility to her troubled students. “I’d be happy to help. Do you want Edelgard to come as well?”</p><p>Ingrid looked at Edelgard with a pleading expression. The two students’ relationship had been fraught initially, but they both deeply respected the other's work ethic and diligence. They had become regular sparring partners, where the fiercest battle was often not between their weapons, but in the verbal debates between the two stubborn women. Ingrid smiled at her comrade-in-arms. “Would you mind, Edelgard? You’re good at ignoring Sylvain’s nonsense.” The princess nodded, and the Faerghus noble gave a deep sigh of relief.</p><p>Jeralt, who was carrying the fishing poles and buckets, turned to the group. “Mind if I steal the princess for a minute?” When he saw the apprehension on Edelgard’s face, he gave her an unexpectedly gentle smile. One that reminded Edelgard of her beloved teacher and put the nervous student at ease.</p><p>As Ingrid and Byleth ran on ahead, Jeralt looked at the princess warmly. “Hope I’m not taking you away from something, your majesty.”</p><p>The girl smiled and shook her head. “Please, I insist you call me Edelgard.” Everywhere else, the young girl was the heir to the throne of Adrestia, but here at Garreg Mach, she relished these few precious months as simply Edelgard. After Jeralt nodded, she turned to him. “I’ve been meaning to speak with you. Your daughter is a lovely person. You should be very proud.”</p><p>Jeralt looked at the future Emperor with an expression of clear relief. “Well, that was actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” He watched as Byleth quickly disappeared into the dining hall with Ingrid. “She’s not…bothering you, is she?”</p><p>“Bothering…me? What do you mean, Sir Eisner?”</p><p>“First of all, call me Jeralt, for Goddess’ sake,” said the knight, apparently just as eager as Edelgard to dispense with formalities. Strangely, the brawny mercenary looked oddly hesitant. “It’s just…I’ve been raising the kid by myself, and well, I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, she’s…”</p><p>“Different,” said Edelgard softly. “She told me herself.”</p><p>“She told you that? Huh.” Jeralt shook his head. “She’s the best daughter I could ask for. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. But-“</p><p>Edelgard looked at the older man with confusion, and waited for him to continue.</p><p>“Well, let’s just say that the mercenary lifestyle doesn’t offer much stability. She hasn’t really been around people her age before coming here.”</p><p>“Why are you telling this to me in particular, Jeralt?”</p><p>“Because she never shuts up about you," said Jeralt with a hearty smile. “You know I’d never seen her laugh before we came here? Ever since she met you brats-“ He looked at Edelgard sheepishly. “Uh…no offense-“</p><p>The princess began to giggle. “No offense taken. I see candidness is a trait that runs in the Eisner blood.”</p><p>“I mean it. I’ve never heard her talk about anything like she talks about you. I probably know you better than your Imperial guards at this point.” He laughed at the clear embarrassment on the princess’ face. “Don’t feel bad. The high and mighty future Emperor being my daughter’s friend is an honor, and if you're half the person she says you are, Adrestia's going to have one hell of a ruler."</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “The honor is all mine. That night in Remire, your daughter protected me with no hesitation, without knowing who I even was." Edelgard felt her cheeks beginning to burn, but pushed forward regardless, unsuccessfully trying to hide the emotion that had snuck into her voice. "A person that selfless and kind is more worthy of admiration than any noble in the Empire. She…means a great deal to me.”</p><p>Jeralt rubbed the back of his head, clearly astonished. “You… really mean it.” He smiled broadly and slapped the princess on her shoulder. “Well, I have one other favor to ask you.”</p><p>“Name it.”</p><p>Jeralt leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “Keep an eye on her for me. There are people in high places at Garreg Mach who don't have her best interests at heart.” He turned and began to walk away, while Edelgard stood momentarily dumbfounded.</p><p>She ran to catch up with him, guilt overwhelming her. “Why are you trusting me? For all you know, I may be one of those people!”</p><p>Jeralt turned to her and smiled. “I saw the look in your eyes when you talked about my daughter. Take it from a man with too much experience-you can’t fake that.” He gave her a wink and walked toward the main hall, whistling a tune as he left Edelgard to mull over his words.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Edelgard arrived in the Blue Lions classroom, she found Sylvain pointing at a scowling Dimitri. Ingrid stood between the two with an appearance that was equal parts sadness and frustration, while Byleth calmly waited nearby with her arms crossed. Dedue was behind Dimitri, his expression implacable. Felix was leaning on a nearby pillar, sharpening a dagger with a whetstone while glaring at the prince.</p><p>“The Lions have to take care of this!” shouted Sylvain. “I’m not sitting around here while my brother hurts innocent people with my family’s weapon! Do you honestly expect me to hang around Garreg Mach and do training exercises or something?”</p><p>Dimitri frowned. “The Archbishop has tasked the Black Eagles with this, not the Lions. In times of crisis, it is important to maintain structure and order, and trust that institutions like the Church will guide us forward. “ He stood, and placed his hands behind his back. The young man was surrounded by an air of melancholy, and Dedue's troubled eyes never wavered from the prince. “Tradition exists for a reason, and without the Church of Seiros, Faerghus would have fallen into ruin long ago.”</p><p>“You’re the Prince of Faerghus, Dimitri!” said Sylvain furiously, his normally easygoing persona forgotten. “Act like it!”</p><p>“If it were up to me, I would take the throne now, but I am not of age. It breaks my heart to see the turmoil in Faerghus currently, but I cannot simply declare myself ruler! The alternative is chaos.”</p><p>“And how’s following tradition working out for you?" spat Felix. "Sure turned out great for Glenn, didn’t it?”</p><p>At this, Dimitri smashed his hand into a table, causing pieces of it to shatter and fly off into the wall of the classroom. Ingrid put her hand to her mouth, while Sylvain looked away. The anger on the prince's face swiftly turned to remorse and guilt and his shoulders slumped meekly. “I-I apologize. Sometimes, I forget my own strength and…”</p><p>“Whatever,” said Felix, stabbing the table with his knife. “I’m not going to stand here and listen to this.” He turned to Ingrid, whose normally stoic face was clearly distressed. “Maybe you had the right idea all along, abandoning this sinking ship.” He gestured angrily at Edelgard and Byleth. “And why are they even here?”</p><p>“Because all the four of us do anymore is yell at each other,” said Ingrid dejectedly. “And this is the second time in two months that Faerghus’ problems have become Garreg Mach’s. This is too personal. We need someone else’s perspective, and Edelgard and Byleth are smart and capable. I saw how they handled Lonato’s rebellion.”</p><p>Sylvain turned to Byleth and Edelgard. “Listen, I know that I can be…actually, let’s not go there.”  Sylvain's typically sarcastic voice became uncharacteristically earnest. “I just… the Lance of Ruin is the only thing allowing my family to keep the peace with Sreng, as fragile as it is. And Miklan…once I was born, he was cast aside, all because he didn’t have a Crest. Please let me come with you. He’s my responsibility.”</p><p>Dimitri shook his head. “You do not bear the guilt for your father’s decisions. It was because he knew your lance and Crest could protect the people of Gautier territory. I think your father was wrong to abandon Miklan, but Crest-bearers are the blade that keeps Faerghus safe.” At Dimitri's pronouncement, Felix stood and left the room with clear disgust.</p><p>Byleth turned to Sylvain, an unusually stern look on her usually placid features. “You may join us, but you will treat your fellow students and me with respect. This is not a game.” She looked at Edelgard and smiled. “As long as my House leader approves of the idea.”</p><p>Though Edelgard found Sylvain’s behavior insufferable, she was perturbed by Dimitri’s words. Faerghus viewed Crest-bearers as blades to protect the people? Thales’ mocking laughter echoed in her head, and for the first time, she considered Sylvain with an emotion other than irritation. <em>People only want to use him as a weapon, just like Hubert and Byleth...and me.</em></p><p>The princess sighed, and made her choice. “Don’t make me regret this, Sylvain.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was really tied together by Dimitri's line after the Miklan mission in Azure Moon about how without Crests, the "metaphorical blades used to oppose threats would eventually rust." So I started thinking about how TWISTD says that Edelgard is their "greatest creation" to "burn the gods", six year-old Hubert was told to protect Edelgard with his life, Rhea views Byleth as a vessel for Sothis, and Faergus' whole deal, and here we are.</p><p>Interesting thing in the JP version is that Edelgard always uses subordinate language when talking to Thales, which she doesn't do for any other character, except Rhea at the academy. Combine that with the fact there is zero reason for him to keep up his Arundel disguise for this scene in the game, and seemed pretty clear to me that he's trying to intimidate Edelgard.</p><p>There's going to be a lot of Ingrid and Sylvain coming up.</p><p>Thanks for the comments and kudos-I appreciate it so much! Stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Breaking Free</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The journey through Faerghus had been cold, wet, and miserable. The ground underneath the students’ feet had turned into muck, splashing them and their clothing with mud and grime. A harsh wind blew the rain showers into the marching army’s face, chilling the interior of their clothes, and causing more fragile students like Dorothea and Marianne to shiver intensely.</p><p>Edelgard loved the outdoors dearly. Only someone who had been so cruelly deprived of her freedom could understand the precious gift of the breeze on one’s face. However, even the princess was demoralized by the depressing Faerghus climate.</p><p>Of course, it was not just the weather that contributed to the gloom. Sylvain and Ingrid were both clearly agitated. They now stuck close to Byleth and Edelgard at the front of the convoy, avoiding exchanging conversation with most of their fellow students. It seemed that they were particularly eager to avoid the middle-aged man with orange hair who stayed in the rear of the group. When Byleth had asked Ingrid for more details about Gilbert, the pegasus knight had darkly muttered that it was not her place to say.</p><p>Sylvain, meanwhile, had started the journey by becoming even more exaggerated in his flirtatious behavior. After Dorothea and Petra had ignored him to converse with one another, and Ingrid had loudly shamed him in front of the entire class, he had become sullen and withdrawn.</p><p>Edelgard had almost immediately regretted bringing him along, not only because she found his behavior deplorable, but because of the obvious impact that this was having on Ingrid. The pegasus knight could be stiff at the best of times, but her responses to Edelgard’s attempts to start conversation had become incredibly brusque. She was clearly upset by her childhood friend’s behavior, and Edelgard had decided it was for the best to leave her alone momentarily.</p><p>Byleth, on the other hand, showed little sign of discomfort. Her mercenary experiences meant that she was accustomed to long treks in difficult climates, but her complete lack of concern with the frigid weather was yet another example of her curious apathy. Edelgard found herself filled with worry for her teacher, pondering over Jeralt’s cryptic words from days earlier.</p><p>“We’re here,” said Byleth pleasantly, turning back to the physically exhausted and emotionally drained class. As the students glanced around the small village where they would be staying, the relief on their faces was palpable. The door to the inn creaked on its rusty hinges as the students pushed past each other to escape the elements.</p><p>They were greeted by a wizened old man with an eyepatch and cane, who slowly shambled toward the guests. “We are the delegation from Garreg Mach,” said Gilbert. “We have come to eliminate the bandits in Conand Tower.”</p><p>The man tilted his head to hear the words of his guest, and his mouth twisted into a massive grin. “You lot got here just before the storm, you did! We’d be glad to have ya!” As Byleth went to distribute money to the innkeeper, he shook his head vigorously. “No, no, no,” he muttered. “I can’t take no money from servants o’ the Goddess, specially if they’re gonna help rid us of these thieves.” His face darkened. “We’ve been living in fear of them bandits looting and pillaging for weeks now. Hit a small village ‘cross the ridge there, they did-burned it all to the ground.”</p><p>Sylvain became clearly distressed at the description of his brother’s atrocities, and Ingrid pushed through the students to stand next to him, while giving her friend a small, sad smile. He responded with an insincere smirk and shook his head. “I’m going to help grab some of the luggage-don’t wait up.” He walked out the door, leaving Dorothea to rub a visibly upset Ingrid on the shoulder.</p><p>The innkeeper shook his head. “Wish he hadn’t ah done that. It’s me granddaughter’s job to come and get the bags.”</p><p>The students made their way to their sleeping quarters, where Edelgard had been assigned a room together with Dorothea, Ingrid, and Petra. The four girls had quickly unpacked their bags and had collapsed into their beds, completely exhausted. Ingrid, Edelgard, and Petra were all tired, and loathe to discuss the day’s events further. However, the night before battles, Dorothea would attempt to reduce her own anxiety by chatting with her friends incessantly.</p><p>After teasingly singing a selection from her proposed opera about Edelgard to an enraptured Petra and a greatly amused Ingrid, she had moved on to prying the former Lion with questions about her relationship to Sylvain. Sensing Ingrid’s growing discomfort, Edelgard asked a question she had been wondering this entire trip.</p><p>“Ingrid, why exactly does Gilbert seem so…familiar?”</p><p>Ingrid looked troubled. “I’ll tell you, but please keep it in confidence.” After the three girls all nodded, Ingrid continued with a sigh. “He’s…Annette’s father.”</p><p>“No!’ said Dorothea in shock. “Then where has he been? Why do I never see him with her at the monastery?”</p><p>“Because he was a knight in service to King Lambert. He used to teach Dimitri.” Ingrid’s face became filled with bitterness. “After those monsters from Duscur attacked and killed our king…and others we loved dearly.” She paused, eyes betraying a deep pain. “Well… he ran away. Joined the Knights of Serios to atone for his failure to protect Lambert and the rest of the royal family. Sylvain, Felix, and I despise him, if I’m being honest.”</p><p>Lambert’s name seemed to echo on the fringes of the princess’ mind, like an itch she could not scratch. Why did it all seem so familiar? She could almost see a broad-shouldered man with blond—</p><p>“He abandoned his <em>daughter</em>?!” yelled Dorothea with a look of utter loathing on her face, pushing Edelgard’s ruminations out of her head. The three women looked at their friend in shock. “How <em>dare </em>he show his face in front of her! Does he have any idea what that- what that <em>does</em> to a little girl?”</p><p>Petra had nimbly sprung across to Dorothea’s bed and began to reassure her quietly, while both Ingrid and Edelgard looked at each other helplessly. Petra looked at the songstress and smiled. “We have been discussing about this, have we not? Your father was a-“ The Brigid princess ran off a chain of foreign phrases that caused Dorothea to laugh and blush. “And if he could not realize how wonderful my friend Dorothea is,” said Petra, grasping Dorothea’s hand tightly, “he is not being worth any further thoughts, right?”</p><p>Dorothea laughed and nodded, as she looked at Petra with adoration. “You’re right, Petra…It’s just sometimes-” her eyes began to fill with tears, “I just…I wanted a dad.” She buried her face in Petra’s chest and began to cry quietly.</p><p>Edelgard thought about her own father, forced to watch powerlessly as his children were tortured in front of his eyes. Her mother, who Edelgard could barely remember. She felt her throat become dry, and her hands clenched tightly. She shook her head to dispel the awful memories from her mind.</p><p>Ingrid was similarly impacted, and walked toward the window, looking out sadly. “The Tragedy of Duscur destroyed so many lives, beyond even those who died. Dimitri was never the same, and for a knight of the Kingdom to abandon his sworn duty to go running to the Church-“</p><p>She stopped and gasped, as she saw something outside the window. “No, he wouldn’t dare-” She grabbed a coat and threw on her shoes before running down the stairs without another word.</p><p>Edelgard, feeling a sense of responsibility, grabbed her own jacket and hurried down the creaking steps and out the old door. She was joined by Byleth, who had heard the commotion and appeared bewildered by the late-night tumult. When the two women made it outside, they found an incensed Ingrid furiously gesticulating at a subdued Sylvain. A peasant girl around their age was sitting sullenly on a farm wagon.</p><p>“What in the <em>world</em> is going on out here?” yelled the princess.</p><p>Ingrid turned to Edelgard and Byleth, before stomping her foot. “This utter… <em>nitwit</em> decided that after begging us to come to recover <em>his own</em> family’s relic, he’d spend the night before the mission having a secret rendezvous with our innkeeper’s granddaughter!”</p><p>Sylvain shrugged. “Actually, she approached me-“</p><p>Ingrid picked up a rusty old spear from the convoy, and heaved it into a nearby tree. She turned back to her childhood friend. “I can’t do this anymore, Sylvain.” She began to pace, while occasionally turning and glaring at the red-haired noble. “Cleaning up the chaos your flirting leaves behind. Watching you destroy yourself and others. What do you want me to do?”</p><p>“How about you just buzz off, Ingrid?” grumbled the Gautier heir. “You’re not my damn mother, so stop pretending that you are.”</p><p>Byleth scowled at Sylvain, as angry as Edelgard had ever seen her. “I am willing to tolerate your behavior at the monastery, but this is indefensible. You’re off the mission.”</p><p>Sylvain’s eyes were filled with desperation and fury. “Well, that’s easy for you two to say. It’s not like you can understand what I-“</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>When El heard the sounds of shouting coming from her sister’s room, she hurriedly burst in with her typical precocious confidence. She found Agnes angrily pointing at her oldest sibling, Maximilian.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You can’t keep doing this, Max! This is the third time this month you’ve gotten caught with…” She stole a sideways glance at El. “-In a delicate position with a girl.” She looked at him sadly. “You have a responsibility-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Max laughed, rubbing his hands through his hair. “No, I don’t. I’m not in line for the throne, because just like you, I didn’t win the divine lottery and get a Crest.” He smirked at his older sister. “You spend all your time trying to be such a perfect princess, Aggie, and where did that get you? Why not sit back like me and enjoy the ride?”</em>
</p><p>"<em>If you aren’t going to take responsibility for your position,” said Agnes icily, “can you at least do it for your younger siblings?” She gestured at El. “Do you really want her to see you as a selfish cad?</em></p><p>"<em>None of this matters! The sooner you recognize that the happier you’ll-“ Max stopped as El tugged on his shirt, causing him to smile down at his younger sister. “Ah El, I’m sorry. Aggie and me, we’re just…having a disagreement.”</em></p><p>
  <em>El shook her head. “I’m sorry that you don’t have a Crest. When I go to services, I’ll talk to the Goddess. Maybe She can give you one!” She beamed at both of her siblings. “If anyone deserves it, it’s you and Agnes!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Max laughed. “If anyone could actually convince the Goddess, it’d be you, kid. Hell, knowing you, She’d give up godhood if you asked Her nice enough.” He ruffled her brown hair. “All right, you two ladies win. I’ll try to be a little less…me, and a little more discreet. The whole thing just gets tough sometimes, y’know?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes nodded sadly. “I do, Max. I really do.” Her face brightened when she looked at El. “Now, it’s a beautiful day. Why don’t we take this troublemaker,” she gave El a hug, “who comes into people’s rooms without knocking for a nice walk?” </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Understand what?” yelled the princess. “Watching people I cared about be thrown away just because they lacked a Crest? Knowing that I’ll have to marry someone I don’t even love? People only valuing me for my position, and not for who I actually am?” Edelgard saw Byleth look at her with a deeply pained expression, but her focus remained on Sylvain.</p><p>Sylvain sank down dejectedly onto the cart, and turned to the sullen peasant girl. “Why did you approach me?”</p><p>The girl looked around nervously, only to proceed when Byleth gave her an encouraging nod. “Well, I-you’re the Margrave’s son, ain’t ya? I saw it in my grandfather’s ledger. Girl like me isn’t about to turn that down.”</p><p>Sylvain glared at her. “So if I was just another guy, you wouldn’t give me another look, is that right?”</p><p>“Not with that attitude, I wouldn’t!” she huffed. “You nobles ain’t nothing like I thought.” She stomped away into the inn, leaving the rest of the group to stare daggers at Sylvain.</p><p>“So, what are you trying to prove, exactly?” said Ingrid. “I understand that you’re upset about your brother, but this is beyond the pale, even for you. What’s this really about?”</p><p>“Maybe I’m just sick, Ingrid,” said the Gautier heir. “Maybe I realized that the only thing about me that anyone actually gives a damn about is my Crest. My brother’s going to try to kill me tomorrow for it, it’s the only reason my dad didn’t throw me aside just like Miklan was, and every girl thinks I’m their ticket to an easy life.” He smiled at Ingrid darkly. “Maybe it’d be better if I let my brother run me through tomorrow. After all-you're the only girl that would care.”</p><p>“Stop talking like that! Do you think you’re the only person suffering, Sylvain?” said Ingrid. “Do you know how soon after Glenn’s death my family got marriage proposals? Two weeks. Two whole weeks for me to mourn the bravest and best person I ever knew.” 

She walked over to Sylvain, and put her hand on his shoulder. “I remember after he died, and I wouldn’t leave my room. You were the only person who came and visited me, over and over again. You were so kind. I wish you’d let other people see the Sylvain I know.”</p><p>Sylvain shook his head. “My father’s already talking about me finding a wife, and you’re the only woman who’s ever treated me as anything other than a breeding stud.” He was unable to meet Ingrid’s eyes. “And now even you can’t stand to be around me. I just-I don’t want to be my dad. What if I end up making another Miklan?” A look of deep disgust came over his face. “What if twenty years from now, I’m sending someone out to kill my own kid?”</p><p>As Edelgard look at the turmoil on Sylvain and Ingrid’s faces, a furious debate raged in her head. She knew that her classmates and teacher would eventually choose sides in the great war that was upcoming, and the princess’ cool, rational mind considered this a fine opportunity to learn more about where they stood. However, the distrustful woman who had watched her uncle turn from a loving man into a monster without warning or reason screamed in protest at the risk.</p><p>While her cynicism and rationalism battled, a deeper, more vulnerable portion of the princess rose to the surface. There was a part of Edelgard that she did not like to admit existed. It was easier to pretend that El had died with her siblings on a bloody table in the dungeons of Enbarr. That her heart was like ice, cold and dead.</p><p>But the truth was that deep inside the stern, callous Emperor, there was still a lonely girl who spent every night longing for companionship. A girl who wanted, or perhaps <em>needed</em>, her friends to side with her, and was terrified of facing the forthcoming darkness alone. The more time she had spent around her classmates and Byleth, the harder it had become to ignore the horrible, wonderful truth-that perhaps the girl called El was not as dead as she thought.</p><p>In the end, this hidden voice was the strongest of all.</p><p>Edelgard sighed. “What if it didn’t have to be this way?” She felt three sets of eyes converge on her, and panic rise in her heart. However, an inescapable fact, solid and unyielding, came to the forefront of her mind-<em>I can’t do this alone.</em></p><p>“What do you mean, Edelgard?” asked Byleth. Sylvain and Ingrid had turned to the princess and were looking at her intently as well.</p><p>“Sylvain,” said Edelgard evenly. “For whatever faults your brother may possess, he has managed to commandeer a fortress and assemble a gang of ruffians that require the Church to step in. Right or wrong, he’s a gifted leader.” She shook her head. “With nurturing, he could have been a great asset to Fódlan. Instead, he was forsaken and abandoned by the Goddess, who now demands his execution.”</p><p>Sylvain threw his hands in the air. “It’s because without a Crest, my family’s territory can’t be kept safe…”</p><p>“And who decides that?” said Edelgard, slapping her hand on her palm. “The Goddess? Do we really want to allow our world to be ruled by those chosen at the whims of divine fate? What if people were judged solely on their merits? Allowed to rise or fall on their words and deeds alone?”</p><p>Ingrid studied Edelgard, hands on her hips. “Who makes the judgment of who’s worthy? You? Me? The Professor?”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “Ingrid, you’re one of the most skilled and capable people I know. The first thing anyone should notice about you is your drive and dedication-not your Crest.” She looked at her friend and huffed lightly. “You deserve better than to be bartered off like cattle to a greedy noble.”</p><p>Ingrid’s face became stern. “My father sacrificed everything for me-he lived on watery soup and gruel for years, just so I would never go hungry. I have a duty to him.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “You have been given an impossible choice-fealty to your family and people, or to your heart.” The princess picked up an arrow from the convoy and looked at it wistfully. “There’s a saying from Brigid that Petra told me-‘you cannot shoot two birds with one arrow.’ But what if we could break this cycle, and allow you to realize your dreams, by making a society that didn’t rely on Crests and the Goddess?”</p><p>Sylvain and Byleth both were looking at Edelgard with varying degrees of shock. Ingrid, however, appeared deeply disturbed. “Edelgard, the only reason you’re even going to be Emperor is because of your Crest. Are you really willing to throw that away?”</p><p>The princess looked at Ingrid, and her eyes blazed with an almost inhuman fire. “I never wanted to be Emperor at all. Like you, I am trapped between the person I want to be, and the one my people need.” Just as abruptly as it had appeared, the flames were extinguished, and Edelgard was again a teenager girl with an unbearable sadness in her lilac eyes. “I just want…” She paused, and collected herself. “How many people have to suffer and die before we accept this world is broken?”</p><p>Neither Byleth nor her three students spoke for a long time, before Ingrid went and put her arm on Edelgard’s shoulder and smiled. “These arguments of ours…they really are something special. We’ll talk more later.” She turned back to Sylvain with a determined expression. “Please stop joking about being killed. I…need you to promise me. I couldn’t-”</p><p>Sylvain smiled and shrugged in mock defeat. “All right, Ingrid. I promise.”</p><p>Ingrid’s face showed clear relief, and with a friendly nod to Byleth and Edelgard, the pegasus knight left without another word.</p><p>Sylvain looked at the other two women sheepishly. “Well, I’ve sure made a mess of things, haven’t I?” When they failed to respond, he turned toward Byleth and gestured at the princess. “So, are you on board with all...this?”</p><p>Byleth’s face was stoic. “I was a mercenary. I never thought about anything but the next job, until…until I came to Garreg Mach.” She paused, and looked at the princess with an odd expression. “Edelgard makes her own choices-but I know the sort of person she is. She means what she says, and I believe her.”</p><p>As she looked at the simple faith in her Professor’s eyes, Edelgard felt herself sinking under the overwhelming guilt. <em>You don’t deserve her trust,</em> echoed Thales’ mocking voice in her head. <em>Just wait until she finds out what you’ve done.</em></p><p>Sylvain gave the princess a cautious glance. “You’re right, you know. We have to start building a world that isn't reliant on Crests. When you're in my position, you hear rumors," he muttered. "The Crest bloodlines are getting weaker and weaker, and the nobles like my dad are more and more desperate. So many kids are getting thrown away as if they were garbage...like my brother.”</p><p>He looked around the bucolic village sadly. “It’s why I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with Sreng. Dimitri talks about how Crests will keep order, but-“ he paused, searching for the right words. “What we have now isn’t really peace. It’s just a lie built on suffering and threats of violence.”</p><p>Byleth was clearly surprised. “I’ve misjudged you. I thought the only thing you cared about was women.”</p><p>“Well, I guess I figured that if I’m not going to be well-respected, at least I can be well-informed.”</p><p>“Why? Why go through life hiding the person you really are?” said the princess, frustration evident in her voice.</p><p>Sylvain grinned at the Eagle. “You know, I think I could ask you the same question, Princess.” When he saw Edelgard’s expression falter, he looked at her with passion. “I have to apologize to you, I had you all wrong. You really want to make a world where kids without Crests won’t be abandoned, huh?”</p><p>“It’s my dream."</p><p>“Then from one misunderstood jerk to another, let me help you achieve it, however I can,” said Sylvain, sticking out his hand to the princess. Though his expression and posture were outwardly confident, there was an unusual timidity that the princess had not seen from the Lion before.</p><p>“All right, Sylvain. But I’m not giving you another chance. Show me you mean it tomorrow.”</p><p>The noble winked. “Just watch me go.” He smiled at both Byleth and Edelgard, a sincere action that lacked any of Sylvain’s typical flippancy. “Have a nice night, ladies.”</p><p>As Sylvain left, Edelgard and Byelth chose to forego discussion for the moment. Instead, they simply watched the stars shining overhead. The night was cold and damp, but somehow, her teacher's presence made the weather inconsequential. Though Edelgard knew tomorrow would be filled with violence and death, for the moment, none of that mattered. As she stole a glance at Byleth looking up at the black void with an inscrutable expression, Edelgard thought again about how she did not deserve the Professor’s friendship. She was so wonderful, and Edelgard was…not.</p><p>“Look at that, Edelgard.” The princess was shaken from her inner unrest to see her professor pointing up at the sky. “That’s my favorite star.” Byleth leaned back on the wagon, and an expression of happiness and peace appeared on her face.</p><p>Edelgard hesitantly reclined on the wet wagon. “I didn’t know people had favorite stars, my teacher,” giggled the princess.</p><p>“It’s the brightest star in the sky,” said Byleth. “Good for navigating, or at least that’s what my Papa always said.” She looked pensive for a moment. “I always felt like that star was…special. Some nights, when I couldn’t sleep, I’d sit and watch it.” She sat up and hugged her knees to her chest, a look of melancholy on her wild features. “I never had a home, or friends, or even a mother. The only thing that I knew would always be there was that star.”</p><p>“You know, when I talked to Jeralt, he said you never laughed before you came to Garreg Mach. He sounded very pleased about your new life.”</p><p>Byleth’s eyes lit up. “He did?” She smiled at Edelgard. “I like being at the monastery. I understand myself so much more since I came here. I never could say this before, but the other day, I told Papa I loved him.”</p><p>“You never told your father you loved him before?”</p><p>“I didn’t really understand until the day we were protecting the Masoleum. When I…” she paused and a shadow passed over her face. “When I thought about you and the other students getting hurt, I felt an awful pain in my chest.” She looked down and winced. “And that night, I thought about Papa and you, and the pain got even worse. So, I asked Dorothea.”</p><p>The princess gasped. “You did <strong>what</strong>?!”</p><p>“She was very nice,” nodded Byleth sagely. “She told me that it was normal, and that it was just because I cared about someone. She said it was normal for a daughter to love her father, so that’s what I told him.”</p><p>“And…what did she say about how you felt about me?”</p><p>Byleth looked annoyed. “She wouldn’t tell me. She said that was something I’d have to figure out on my own, but that she was cheering for me.”</p><p>Edelgard found herself unable to meet her teacher’s eyes, and instead stared off into the sky. They sat quietly, until Edelgard found words pouring from her mouth. “You know, my sister told me something about stars once,” whispered the princess.</p><p>“I didn’t know you had a sister.”</p><p>“She….she passed away a long time ago. When I was young, some nights, she’d take me onto the balcony at the palace in Enbarr, and we’d sit up and watch the night sky.” The princess blinked a few times before continuing. “She told me that if two people made the same wish on the same star, the Goddess would always make sure it would come true.” She shook her head. "It's just a silly story, though."</p><p>“Oh,” said Byleth abruptly. For a long time, she looked up thoughtfully, before turning to Edelgard with confidence. “Well, I wish you and I will always remain close.”</p><p>Edelgard nearly jumped out of the wagon, before turning away from Byleth, completely mortified. “You-you can’t just say things like that, my teacher!”</p><p>Byleth looked at her with an infuriatingly innocent expression. “Why not? I like you. Before we met, nobody besides my father asked me about how I felt. I’ve never had a person who liked being around me before.” Her face became troubled. “I don’t…want to go back to being alone.”</p><p>Edelgard smiled and gently touched her teacher’s shoulder. “I feel the same.” She laughed softly. “Well, we’re not supposed to tell others about our wishes, but this time, I think we can make an exception, don’t you?”</p><p>Byleth nodded eagerly, and as the two of them stared at the twinkling sky, all was blessedly right with the world. For the first time in many years, Edelgard von Hresvelg dared to imagine a world and future where she was happy, and she wished for it with all of her heart.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this chapter is about two pairs of idiots, Ingrid and Sylvain, and Byleth and Edelgard, who are just beginning to realize how much the other person means to them.</p><p>Funny note when researching this chapter, I realized that Gilbert has precisely zero supports with Ingrid, Felix, and Sylvain, and I can't help but feel that was an intentional choice.</p><p>I wanted to have a big discussion chapter before Miklan, because Sylvain and Ingrid needed a bit of space for their ideas/conflict with Edelgard to breathe, and there's another thing I want to play with in the Miklan mission that's a big deal for both Edelgard and another character. </p><p>I want to give a *huge* shoutout to QuoteMyFoot, who is probably the most articulate and smart Sylvain fan I know, and basically caused me to do a complete 180 on his character. I had never had anyone bring this to my attention before, but Sylvain is actually one of the only characters who 1) realizes that the current system is untenable long-term, and 2) is forward thinking enough to actually plan for a Crest-less future (one of his lost monastery items is research on Sreng). Also, I wholesale stole the brilliant idea that Byleth calls Jeralt "Papa" in private. If y’all get a chance, check QuoteMyFoot’s page out-there’s some great fics on there.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Tower of Ruin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were everywhere, thought Edelgard with a shudder. When Byleth had informed the princess of the specifics of the mission to hunt down Miklan and his men, she had mentioned the bandits had set up residence in an abandoned tower. Edelgard had naively accepted it, without considering the awful reality that now surrounded her.</p><p>As the group weaved their way up the abandoned lower sections, the cold, drafty stone and absence of light reminded her of nothing more than the abominable dungeons of Enbarr. As Edelgard attempted to ignore her surroundings, she could not help but wince when she glimpsed the rusty chains lying abandoned on the floor. Memories of freezing metal and abraded skin burst into the princess’ troubled psyche, as the walls themselves seemed to close in on her. Phantasms danced in front of Edelgard’s eyes, making it difficult to separate her classmates from the ghosts that lurked in her peripheral vision.</p><p>But it was the rats that were the worst. They were scurrying everywhere, running from the light of the Black Eagles’ lanterns, and making that horrible, horrible sound. At any moment a rat would be crawling, scuttling, darting onto the princess, and then another, and another and she was a little girl covered in rats biting her skin with their jagged little teeth and she couldn’t breathe-</p><p>“Edelgard!” The princess was called back to reality by Caspar’s energetic voice. “You keep bumping into me.”</p><p>“My apologies."</p><p>“Hey,” said the boy with his usual lack of tact. “You’re looking really pale. Are you sick or something?”</p><p>Edelgard paused before responding. “One could say that.”</p><p>How could she dare tell anyone about the effect that the odious little creatures had on her? While she had confided her fear of the ocean to Bernadetta, revealing the panic and terror that this dungeon inspired was unthinkable. It would give Duke Aegir and his men yet another victory over Edelgard-prove that she had never really escaped the prison at all. That underneath her poise, the Flame Emperor was still the scared little girl they had bullied and tormented. She would never give them the satisfaction.</p><p>The only reason she had not lost her mind in that pit was her dagger. The strange, precious gift that reminded her that even if she could not remember who it was, someone out there was waiting for her. That simple act of kindness was the only truth to grasp when her faith had shattered. Her belief in the Goddess’ protection could never withstand the ghastly sight of rats gnawing at Agnes’ body.</p><p>Edelgard dared not pray, but she hoped desperately her friend was safe, wherever he was. The princess knew from experience that this was a cruel world-one that could warp even the most innocent child into a monster. The constant dull ache on Edelgard’s scars became inescapable. Byleth cared for her now, but if she were to ever see the true state of the princess’ body and heart-</p><p>Byleth’s hand shot up, causing the group to halt its march. A pair of massive and ramshackle wooden doors sat in front of them, and beyond, the sound of boisterous shouting and yelling could be heard.</p><p>Byleth turned to Gilbert. “About how high up in the tower are we?”</p><p>“I believe we have about three floors still to go-the bulk of Miklan’s force will be through that door.”</p><p>Byleth hummed thoughtfully before turning back to the class. The kindness that normally radiated from the woman was replaced with a cold, terrifying strength. “I will clear a path, Ferdinand, Ingrid, Edelgard and Sylvain will lead the group. Watch for attacks from above. Petra and Gilbert will guard our healers and mages.” She turned to Sylvain. “Will you be all right?”</p><p>Sylvain nodded. “I owe him this.”</p><p>Byleth looked back at the rest of the students. “Everyone, stay close and watch for surprise attacks. There’s safety in numbers.” Suddenly her face lit up with a warm, tender smile, one that was becoming more and more commonplace on the formerly emotionless mercenary. “We’ll all get through this-I promise.”</p><p>Without another word, Byleth turned and kicked open the door. There were ten bandits, all of whom were partaking in an impromptu feast. Many were in various states of intoxication, and one or two did not even react to the disturbance. Some of the more sober men ran forward, only for Byleth to unfurl the full and terrible might of the Sword of the Creator in a single fluid motion. The weapon’s serrated teeth brutally gashed two of the brigands in the throat, causing them to collapse in a pool of their own blood. A third had his forearm cleanly separated from his body, falling to the floor with an awful scream.</p><p>The students made efficient work of the rest of the overmatched bandits. Sylvain and Ferdinand ran forward on their steeds, stabbing two of the enemy who were scrambling desperately for a weapon. An archer was about to fire a shot at Ingrid’s pegasus, when an arrow from Bernadetta buried itself in his eye. As a half-dressed armored knight lurched toward Byleth, he was burned alive inside his suit by a spell from Dorothea. Petra and Caspar’s sword and ax made quick work of the last two foes.</p><p>Edelgard glanced at her fellow students. Though many of them still showed both internal and external remorse as they ended the thieves’ lives, there was a certain weariness and acceptance developing even in kind souls such as Dorothea. Edelgard was all too familiar with the creeping detachment she now saw in the expressions of her friends. The blood on her hands always bothered the princess, but she also recognized how it became easier and easier to rationalize and justify.</p><p>The first time she had ordered a man’s death, she had violently vomited in her chambers at Enbarr. The first time she killed a man with her own hands, she had lain awake for many sleepless nights, unable to see anything but the pain on his face. The princess had long accepted that if any afterlife did exist, the Goddess would eagerly consign Edelgard to damnation. However, even she was frightened at how easily she now stained her soul. Allying with one of her own tormenters? Siccing deluded bandits on her fellow students?</p><p>It was a path that led to madness, and now the princess could only watch as her friends took their first, hesitant steps toward oblivion.</p><p>The bandit still wounded from Byleth’s initial attack turned to Edelgard and began to swear at her loudly. “You noble brats hadda ruin everything! We had a nice cushy setup here.” He spat at the princess’ feet. “Why couldn’t you lot just leave us alone!”</p><p>“The rumors of your foul deeds have reached even Garreg Mach. We know about the children you’ve killed and the women you’ve dishonored.” As Edelgard thought of the innocent women and children pleading to the Goddess for a deliverance that never came, a terrifying fury appeared in her lilac eyes. “You dare act like your station justifies this selfish carnage?”</p><p>The bandit clutched the stump of his right arm. “You lot’l never understand what people like us’ll do to survive.”</p><p>“And you have no idea what I am willing to do in return." Edelgard glared at the filth before her with an inhuman loathing. "You have raped, murdered, and pillaged. Make peace with your gods.” She raised her ax, only to feel a hand stopping her. She turned and saw Hubert holding her arm.</p><p>“What are you doing?!"</p><p>Hubert shook his head. “You will be the leader of Adrestia. You need to be seen as pure-above the fray.” His eyes darted to their classmates as his voice lowered to a whisper. “By them, especially.”</p><p>Many of the students had overheard Edelgard’s words, and now refused to meet the future Emperor’s gaze. Marianne, in particular, appeared deeply uncomfortable.</p><p>Hubert nodded. “Allow me to-“ but was interrupted by Byleth, who had efficiently killed the bandit with a swipe of her sword, and now turned to her students dispassionately.</p><p>“Let’s proceed, everyone,” said Byleth calmly. “Edelgard, walk with me.”</p><p>As the students advanced, looking intently for signs of an ambush, Byleth leaned toward Edelgard. “Are you all right?”</p><p>The princess sighed, battling to regain control of her emotions. “Yes. And I’m sorry for Hubert stepping in.”</p><p>Byleth looked at her with surprise. “Why? Battle is one thing, but I do not want my students executing these men, no matter what they have done.” Her azure eyes pierced into Edelgard. “I am a mercenary, and you are not the Emperor yet. You… looked so unhappy with yourself.”</p><p>“My own hands are far from clean, my teacher. When I become Emperor, if I place myself above my own soldiers and subjects-order them to commit deeds I am not willing to do-than I would be a shameless hypocrite, unworthy of my position.”</p><p>“But you are not just Emperor, Edelgard,” said Byleth. “You are my student and friend as well.” She smiled at Edelgard softly. “I saw your face when you talked about the women and children they had hurt.”</p><p>“A pathetic display of emotion, unworthy of the future leader of Adrestia,” said Edelgard, with a harshness and venom she only truly saved for herself.</p><p>Byleth looked as defeated as Edelgard had ever seen her. “I do not understand many things about myself, and others,” she said with a sigh. “But what confuses me the most is why you always try to hide how much you care about other people.”</p><p>The princess gaped at her teacher, struck dumb by her simple belief in Edelgard’s goodness. Finally, she could only mumble a weak protest. “Because- because I will be Emperor.”</p><p>Byleth nodded wisely. “And however great an Emperor you will be, I will always be happiest that Edelgard, not Emperor Hresvelg, is my friend.” She stared passionately at the princess. “You said you never wanted to be Emperor, but promise me you won’t stop being Edelgard.”</p><p>“I promise,” said Edelgard, acquiescing with a smile. “But I am deeply uncomfortable with this. You are the person who helps me feed the cats at the monastery and spent last Saturday quietly gardening with Dedue and Ashe. When you volunteer to handle these violent tasks, who is worrying about the effect on you?”</p><p>“I am a teacher. It’s what the Archbishop expects.”</p><p>“And did the Archbishop ask what you wanted?” said Edelgard, voice rising. “You, more than anyone, deserve to choose what your own heart desires, without being led along by other’s whims.”</p><p>It was difficult to determine if Byleth’s face showed greater shock or gratitude. “I…I have never had someone ask what I wanted before...” whispered Byleth with dawning self-realization. She looked down at her chest with an odd expression, before beaming at the princess. “Edelgard, I promise that I-“</p><p>“Archers!” yelled Sylvain. “Up top!” As the students dogged the initial volley of projectiles, an ambush appeared, with fighters hemming in the Black Eagles from all directions.</p><p>Without another word, the Black Eagles sprang into action, and began to fight for their lives.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the exhausted students made their way to the top of Conand Tower, an unkempt and fierce looking man with fiery red hair awaited them, surrounded by a ring of brutal ruffians. When he saw Sylvain, the bandit lifted his arm to stop his men, before his features contorted into a hateful sneer. “Well, if isn’t my baby brother. What are you doing here, you brat?”</p><p>Sylvain was clearly shaken, but glared back at the ruffian with defiance. “I’m here for the Lance of Ruin, Miklan. Hand it over.”</p><p>Miklan began to laugh-a nauseating, repulsive sound that sent chills down Edelgard’s spine. His eyes darted toward the Eagles. “You couldn’t even let me have this-could you?! And now you bring your spoiled friends to help stomp me back into the dirt!” He pointed the Lance of Ruin toward the students, his awkward stance betraying a lack of familiarity with the weapon.</p><p>“I’ve heard what you’ve been doing." Sylvain's speech became erratic and emotional. “You’re always trying to blame me for your mistakes. For something I didn’t even choose!”</p><p>The bandit leader doubled over with laughter, his voice filled with madness. “Do you know what I thought when I heard I’d be having a brother?” When Sylvain refused to answer, Miklan continued, his gestures and expressions becoming progressively wilder. “I was so damn excited. Idiot that I was, I’d thought I’d have a best friend, a person I could play games with.” He glared at his brother. “And then you showed up with your damned Crest and stole <em>everything</em> from me!”</p><p>“You made your own choices, Miklan. Don’t blame me or dad for that.”</p><p>“I ASKED HIM!” screamed the thief. His men looked around uncomfortably. “Me, a stupid kid who just wanted his father to love him.” The rage in his voice was replaced by a quiet despair. “I just wanted to know why he stopped talking to me. And all the prick could say was, ‘you are no longer worth my time.’ To his own damn son!”</p><p>Sylvain’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a monster.”</p><p>“If I’m a monster,” spat the outcast, “then I’m only one that you and dad made.” He raised his plundered weapon viciously. “And now you wanna take this from me? I’ll kill you- I’ll kill every single one of you!”</p><p>With these words, Miklan and his men charged the Black Eagles, with the estranged brothers making a beeline for one another. Edelgard twirled and spun, using her momentum to drive her ax into a bandit and send him flying. Ferdinand rushed forward, and ran two bandits through with a single swipe of his lance. He turned to Edelgard with a pleased expression. “You shall have to intensify your efforts, Edelgard! It seems I am surpassing you already.”</p><p>With a sigh, Edelgard threw a handax at a bandit who had been rushing toward the preening noble’s unguarded back. The man stumbled and staggered before falling off the ledge. “It appears we are now even-wouldn’t you say, Ferdinand?” The noble sheepishly nodded, before moving to help Petra in combat.</p><p>Many of the bandits had either fallen or began to flee, their loyalty to Miklan proving fickle. Miklan began to swing the Lance of Ruin with greater and greater desperation as the cavalier nimbly dodged his clumsy thrusts. Finally sensing an opening, Sylvain rushed forward and drove his spear into Miklan’s shoulder, knocking the bandit prone.</p><p>Sylvain turned to Miklan and offered his hand as Byleth and Edelgard stood behind him. “It’s over.”</p><p>Miklan’s breath came out in ragged gasps and he gripped the Lance of Ruin tightly. “You sanctimonious ass! You think offering me your hand means anything? You ruined my life!”</p><p>As the bandit screamed, the demonic lance began to glow an eerie red. Tendrils extending from the Crest stone grabbed the young man’s arm, causing him to look down in panic. He attempted to desperately pull the black miasma off, but it only accelerated its spread, until it had consumed everything from the man’s neck down.</p><p>The Black Eagles could only watch as the thief was swallowed by a creeping void. “Sylvain…help-“ was all Miklan could mouth before his head was consumed by darkness, a look of pure terror in his eyes.</p><p>The mass that had once been Sylvain’s brother began to grow and morph, and soon demonic horns, spikes, and a tail began to sprout from the now massive figure. Edelgard felt her breathing quicken, as she watched the relic turn the man into a terrifying, demonic beast.</p><p>Byleth began to yell an order to retreat, and the Black Eagles scrambled for space from the rampaging monster. Byleth pulled a stunned Sylvain back and most of the other students had began to flee. However, Marianne was staring up at the abomination with a look of fear and shock, and stood as if in a daze.</p><p>Edelgard grabbed her by the collar. “Marianne, we have to move!”</p><p>The girl nodded and muttered a frantic prayer under her breath. Edelgard could only hear the words “beast” and “Goddess’ judgement” over the clamor. As the students retreated a safe distance, the monster began to grab and mutilate the few unfortunate remaining bandits. While it was distracted, the Eagles attempted to determine a plan.</p><p>“It’s large,” said the Professor with her usual bluntness. “That means it cannot move as quickly as we can. Ingrid, Sylvain, Ferdinand, distract it. Mages and archers attack from a distance. Edelgard, Caspar, Gilbert and I will battle it head on. Ready?” The Eagles all nodded, except for Sylvain, whose eyes never left the raging creature.</p><p>Ingrid flew above the beast, and it reared back on its legs, attempting to swat her out of the air. The experienced flier nimbly dodged its lumbering attacks, which offered an opening for Sylvain and Ferdinand to jab the monster’s unprotected ankles.</p><p>The beast swung blindly, narrowly missing Ferdinand, only for a well-placed arrow from Petra to hit it square in the eye. The beast roared in pain, and Caspar and Gilbert began to hack at the fallen creature’s limbs.</p><p>With a roar of fury, the creature swung its tail, knocking Caspar and Gilbert backward. The beast dashed toward Gilbert menacingly and raised its arm to strike a fatal blow.</p><p>“MIKLAN!” screamed a resolute male voice. The beast whipped around, only to stare at Sylvain momentarily, an odd calm coming over the monster. “I’m sorry,” said Sylvain, staring directly into the beast’s remaining eye. “I wish…it could have been different.” For a moment, the creature appeared to hesitate, only to spring at the Gautier heir. Sylvain turned to Edelgard and Byleth. “Now!”</p><p>Edelgard ran toward the beast, and unleashed a devastating blow from her ax into its side, and it collapsed under its own weight. Edelgard was knocked backward from the force of the fall, and only turned to see her teacher make a mighty leap and drive the Sword of the Creator into the brute's head.</p><p>As the beast’s breathing stopped, the monster’s form began to dissipate, until all that was left was Miklan’s lifeless, battered corpse. Sylvain leaned down next to the body, the heir to the Lance of Ruin covered in Miklan’s blood. “My brother…” he whispered, as he picked up the weapon.</p><p>Ingrid had swooped down, and stood next to him quietly. “It’s okay to feel sad...He was family.”</p><p>Sylvain scoffed. “He hated me from the moment he found out I had a Crest. All he ever wanted was this weapon.” He looked down at his cursed birthright with disgust. “And it ended up killing him.”</p><p>He turned to Edelgard and Byleth. “I want in.” There was not even a hint of Sylvain’s usual frivolous attitude or flirting to be found-just a grim determination that was at odds with everything the students of Garreg Mach had come to expect from the philanderer.</p><p>“This... this has to stop. If Miklan had gotten a Crest instead of me, maybe I would have-" His voice trailed off, before he stuck out his hand to the princess. "I don’t know what you’re planning on doing about Crests, Princess, but I want to work with you while I’m here. I’m a good-for-nothing flirt, but I promise you, I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”</p><p>Ingrid looked at Sylvain apprehensively. “What will Dimitri say?”</p><p>Sylvain gave a harsh laugh. “This is about me, Ingrid. Not Dimitri. You want me to stop fooling around and take things seriously? Well, this is me doing that.” He winked at her, his typical good humor returning. “Besides, I'll just be my usual charming self and it’ll blow over-no big deal.”</p><p>Ingrid sighed. “That’s what I’m afraid of.” She turned to Edelgard and Byelth, “You aren’t actually considering this, are you?”</p><p>Edelgard and Byleth looked at one another for a moment, before Edelgard stuck out her hand to the Gautier heir. “Welcome to the Black Eagles, Sylvain.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the students attempted to collect themselves after the battle, Edelgard saw Marianne quietly standing by herself, face despondent. The princess walked toward the timid girl and smiled softly. “Are you all right, Marianne? That was an ugly mission, so I certainly wouldn’t blame you for feeling upset.”</p><p>Marianne demurred. “Please don’t trouble yourself for me, Edelgard. There are more important people to worry about.”</p><p>“Nonsense. You are my classmate and friend, and you are clearly distressed.” Edelgard leaned against the stone wall. “I’d be happy to quietly sit with you, if you’d just like company.”</p><p>Marianne nodded. “I’d...I’d like that, Edelgard.” The two women sat for a while, collecting themselves after the rush of battle, idly watching Caspar and Linhardt bicker with each other. Edelgard’s musings were interrupted by the healer’s voice, as she pointed toward Edelgard’s leg. “You’ve been cut.”</p><p>Edelgard’s terrified eyes looked down to see a large tear in her ruby-red leggings. There, plainly visible was not only a gash, but numerous markings on her disfigured skin-remnants of Aegir’s cruelty. The princess threw her arms over the appalling sight. She turned to Marianne in a panic. “How much did you see?”</p><p>Marianne did not respond, but shook her head sadly. “You’re very brave, Edelgard.” She looked away while handing the princess a white bandage, large enough to cover the injured area. After Edelgard finish tying the dressing, Marianne met her gaze with an atypical confidence. “Were you scared today when you saw Sylvain’s brother turn into…that? Seeing him punished by the Goddess?”</p><p>“I must admit, I found it deeply unsettling. Abandoned by those he cared for, and turned into a monster. It’s something that worries me-“ Her voice trailed off quietly, words unable to express the tumult in her heart.</p><p>Marianne nodded. “When I joined your class, I didn’t understand why you were so nice to me-I have no talents or anything special about me at all. Ferdinand has been so kind, and you and Professor Byleth are so wonderful…” She gave Edelgard a small smile. “I...I need you to promise me something.”</p><p>“Whatever I can do for you, I’d be happy to help.”</p><p>“If I ever turn into…that,” whispered Marianne, her eyes darting around the room. “Promise you’ll kill me.”</p><p>Edelgard gaped at her classmate. “I...I can’t promise that, Marianne. You’re my friend.”</p><p>“Ferdinand refused to listen. Please Edelgard…what if you knew that your Crest could-if there was a curse on you from the Goddess? One that made you an awful monster?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><em>"</em> <em>That’s not my hair. That’s not my hair. THAT’S NOT MY HAIR!”</em></p><p>
  <em>Not for the first time, the young girl collapsed onto the floor of her chambers in Enbarr. She curled herself into a ball, pulling on her bleached hair with terrifying ferocity. All she could do was scream, unable to open her eyes and confront the dreadful truths that her mirror exposed. The person she saw in her reflection was not her. Edelgard didn’t have awful scars all over her body. She didn’t have two Crests like a freak. And most of all she didn’t have-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Lady Edelgard!” came Hubert’s concerned voice as he ran to his liege. “Are you all right?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard looked up at him, eyes vacant and distant. “I’m not Edelgard…not anymore.” There was a look of terrifying detachment and finality on her face. “Edelgard has brown hair.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert appeared completely at a loss for what to do, until he hesitantly knelt before her. “Then if you are not the Edelgard I know, whoever you are, or whoever you have become, I pledge my service to you.” He lowered his head, unable to meet her dull and deadened lilac eyes.<br/>
<br/>
Edelgard shook her head. “The girl you knew is dead, Hubert,” she spat. ”The Goddess didn’t think she was worth saving.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert gave the princess a grim smile. “Then we will make this world a better place in her memory.”</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard could only sigh. “Marianne, I do understand, and so I will not give you platitudes about finding meaning in suffering, or ask you to live for me. But-“ the princess gazed at her classmate with an eerie calm. “I will only agree to that request if you do something for me in return.”</p><p>Marianne clasped her hands together. “But-but what could someone like me do for you? I’m not-“</p><p>Edelgard looked down at the bandage covering her scars. “You may be the only person who can truly understand what I am about to ask you.” A look of profound grief passed over the princess’ face. “You may believe yourself cursed by the Goddess, but despite that, you have kept a deep kindness and gentleness that I do not possess-that I envy. A wise friend of mine once told me to cut my own path, and one day I believe you will do the same." She gave Marianne a faltering smile. "You have a grand destiny ahead of you-one you yourself must find.”</p><p>Marianne gasped. “No...Edelgard that’s-“</p><p>“You have seen today the creature I truly am, the one I hide from the world. If I ever lose myself, and our friends and classmates come to hate me. I need you to tell them that I fought-I tried-“ Edelgard’s eyes became downcast and her voice desperate. “Tell them I wanted to be good. So, so much. Promise me.”</p><p>Marianne’s eyes began to water. “I promise, Edelgard.” As the princess turned to leave, Marianne grasped her shoulder and began to smile kindly. “Would you- would you like to pray with me?” Edelgard considered for a moment before nodding, and the two women bowed their heads.</p><p>The princess thought of all she had done, and all she would still do to overthrow the Church that gave Marianne’s life purpose. Though she had no right to petition the Goddess for anything, she bowed her head out of respect for her friend. Instead, she thought longingly of her siblings, and wished desperately to see their faces again one day, when her work was finished. To show Byleth her family… It was a silly dream, but it was all the Flame Emperor had left.</p><p>Marianne lifted her head and smiled warmly. “Thank you, Edelgard. I hope the Goddess grants you peace.”</p><p>Edelgard returned the smile sadly, and attempted to ignore the deep pain that welled up inside her. “And I pray- I hope you find your path.” She paused for a moment, before giving Marianne a knowing smirk. “You should go talk to Ferdinand.” She gestured to the noble, who was walking around aimlessly. “He’s completely lost without you, you know.”</p><p>Marianne began to blush furiously, and ran to talk to her friend. As Edelgard quietly watched Ferdinand heap exuberant praise on an embarrassed Marianne, she felt a calloused hand lightly grasp her shoulder.</p><p>“Are you all right?” asked Byleth, whose face showed a tenderness that stunned even Edelgard. When the princess nodded, Byleth smiled, and they both sat and watched the Black Eagles mingle and laugh with one another.</p><p>As she looked out at the students calmly, Byleth turned to Edelgard. “I know there has been so much death today… But when I look at the Eagles all remaining safe, I feel…happy.” Her face became downcast. “Is that selfish?”</p><p>Edelgard looked at her teacher, filled with concern for the princess' well-being. She watched classmates like Marianne and Sylvain, who had helped her, for the first time, believe someone could understand her dream. Over the past few months, she had attempted to ignore the small flicker of hope in her heart swelling into a burning flame. Now, as Edelgard looked into Byleth's compassionate eyes, she dared to imagine that she would not fight alone.</p><p>Edelgard gave Byleth a heartfelt smile. “No, my teacher,” said the princess with unusual contentment. “It makes me happy too.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Everyone's coping strategies in this chapter-not great! </p><p>I always thought it was a bit odd that Marianne didn't really comment on Miklan turning into a rampaging monster, considering that's her greatest fear. And since this is my story, well...</p><p>I rather love the symbolism of this chapter in game. Miklan is a garbage fire of a person, but a man is literally eaten alive by a Crest weapon, after being abandoned by his family for his lack of a Crest. It's a rather neat little metaphor for how systemic violence and oppression can deeply warp and destroy people, and something the game keeps hammering over and over.</p><p>Hope everyone is staying safe out there!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Reach for My Hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Even after such a short time, Edelgard had come to consider Garreg Mach a home. The princess’ life had never been stable. She could remember little of her time in Faerghus, beyond scattered fragments and a lifelong distaste for the cold. Her beloved Enbarr was forever tainted by the memories of what lurked beneath the palace grounds.</p><p>Garreg Mach was different. Edelgard had become accustomed to the comfortable rituals of the monastery. The way the sun hit the greenhouse roof at specific point in the morning, sending dazzling rays of light shooting in all directions. The comforting and inimitable smell of the old books in the library. The scent of freshly baked bread from the dining hall wafting across the pastoral green of the commons. It was the first place the princess had ever felt safe. It was home.</p><p>After days of marching in rain and muck, the princess wanted nothing more than a return home and a warm bath. She could be finicky over her personal appearance, and the opportunity to wash away both the mental and physical grime from the Miklan mission had kept Edelgard going during the long trek back to the monastery.</p><p>When the Black Eagles arrived at the front gates, they found Dimitri and Mercedes conversing anxiously with one another. When they saw their fellow students, their faces lit up.</p><p>“Oh Professor, thank goodness you’re here!” Mercedes rushed toward Byleth, clear relief visible on her face. “Everyone has no idea what to do!”</p><p>Edelgard noticed her teacher’s fingers twitching involuntarily on the hilt of the Sword of the Creator. Byleth looked back and forth between the two Lions blankly. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Flayn...is missing,” said Dimitri. “Garreg Mach has been in an uproar, and Seteth is beside himself.” His hand shook with barely-contained fury. “When I find out who is responsible…”</p><p>Byleth turned to the Black Eagles, her gentle aura reassuring the distressed students. “I have to go talk to the Archbishop and Seteth about this. I’ll meet with you all later to discuss the mission. Sylvain, you should come with me.” With a brief nod to Edelgard, she and the Gautier heir left without another word.</p><p>Hubert, Edelgard, and Ingrid huddled around the two Blue Lions. “What exactly happened?” said Ingrid.</p><p>“Flayn hasn’t been seen for about three days,” said Mercedes. “Seteth’s been frantic, and all the faculty has been looking for her…” The cleric trailed off, as if there was more she wanted to say.</p><p>“What are you not telling us, Mercedes?” grumbled Hubert, his arms crossed and face stern. Edelgard quietly elbowed him, doing her best to keep her retainer from terrorizing such a kind soul.</p><p>“Oh, well…it’s just that…” Mercedes lowered her head and quickly glanced around. “I haven’t seen Jeritza lately either.” She hummed thoughtfully to herself. “There’s something about him that bothers me…”</p><p>Edelgard attempted to avoid acknowledging Hubert’s eyes boring a hole in the back of her head. She knew what this meant. She knew exactly who was responsible. She did not know why. And that needed to change quickly.</p><p>“Are you all right, Edelgard?” said Dimitri with great concern. “You are incredibly pale.”</p><p>“I…I am all right, Prince Dimitri. Thank you for your concern. I simply am worn out from our march from Faerghus. The mission was…more difficult than any of us anticipated.”</p><p>“I can only imagine,” nodded Dimitri. He turned to Ingrid. “Still, though the mission was difficult, you must consider it a successful result. The Gautier lands will now once again be protected by the Lance of Ruin, and Miklan has paid for his crimes.”</p><p>Ingrid gave Edelgard a sideways glance. “There’s something else you should be aware of, Dimitri. Miklan tried to use the Lance of Ruin, and there were…complications.” She turned to the prince with an almost accusatory expression. “With all due respect, I question calling it a successful mission. We watched the Lance of Ruin eat Sylvain’s brother alive. I would have thought our friend would be your primary concern, not House Gautier, or vengeance.”</p><p>A spasm of anger passed over Dimitri’s face. “Do you truly think I do not care for him? Miklan was a foul beast, who deserved no less than what he got. Sylvain understands that.” Dimitri’s imposing figure towered over the other students. “You were instruments of justice, and you should take pride in that fact. His victims shall find rest, thanks to you.”</p><p>Edelgard scoffed, “Forgive me if I am less concerned about the Goddess’ justice. What worries me is the living, and what would drive a man like Miklan to such a desperate state. Even for a butcher like him, to die like that…” She trailed off, emotion breaking through her cold facade.</p><p>“Evil must be punished!” In an instant, the prince’s usual carefully controlled composure was gone, replaced by a frantic, brutal rage. “Miklan stole, raped and murdered. The voices of those he killed cry out for revenge!” His face was full of an unquenchable anger, and the princess could see from where Felix’s dire warnings about the “Boar” sprung. “How dare you, Edelgard? I expect better from you. You-”</p><p>“Do not presume to lecture me about ethics, Dimitri. I understand fully what he did, and it disgusts me. But a man discarded by his family and the Goddess is the stuff of tragedies, not a tale of chivalry to celebrate.”</p><p>“Has your moral compass become so tarnished that you would spare more pity for a murderer than his victims?” Dimitri turned to Ingrid with a feverish gleam in his bloodshot eyes. “Has abandoning me for this lot helped you become a better knight? Where is the honor you care for so deeply?” The prince loomed over the Eagles, until he grimaced, and placed both hands on his head. Control returned to the prince’s face. “Forgive me, Ingrid. I lost my composure momentarily.”</p><p>The pegasus knight stared inscrutably at her childhood friend for a long time, before shaking her head slowly. “I’ll talk to you later, Dimitri-I have to go see how Sylvain is doing.” Without another word, she turned away to walk toward the main hall.</p><p>Dimitri’s eyes met Edelgard’s, and he stared at the Adrestian princess with that familiar longing expression that troubled her so deeply. “I also apologize to you for my anger. You are very-“</p><p>“Whatever I am, Dimitri, I am also the Black Eagle house leader, and at this moment, I have an important task to complete.” Edelgard began to walk away, careful not to meet Dimitri’s regretful gaze.</p><p>Hubert leaned close to the princess as they walked briskly through the courtyard of Garreg Mach. “Are you going to contact Arundel?”</p><p>“No. There isn’t enough time, and he wouldn’t tell us anything anyway.” She had desperately been hoping to avoid this, but it was an unfortunate necessity.</p><p>Hubert nodded. “Ah, so you mean-“</p><p>“Yes. I have to talk to Solon. Now.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard made her way up the vast stone steps to the second floor of the monastery, her usual brisk stride slowing to a crawl. There were many reasons she avoided lingering on this floor-both Seteth and Rhea would often be found roaming the halls, along with various members of the Knights of Seiros. These were all conversations that the princess desperately wanted to circumvent-but the true problem lurked in the library.</p><p>Thales was a power-hungry, manipulative monster, but lust for power was a vice that Edelgard could understand. Solon was different. He was a devious and brilliant schemer, and the brief conversations he had with the princess were tinged with a religious fanaticism that was disturbingly similar to the Church monks who would openly talk about purging “undesirables.” Though Edelgard remembered her childhood faith with a deep longing, the zeal of a man like Solon was now beyond her comprehension.</p><p>As she walked toward the library entrance, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks. The princess concealed herself next to the entryway, desperately straining to hear the hushed conversation.</p><p>“How powerful are these things, exactly?” muttered the student, with a seriousness and cerebral tone that had never been quite so evident to the princess before. “Would a relic weapon-like that sword Teach’s got-really be strong enough to destroy a mountain?”</p><p>The other voice was barely above a whisper. “What an oddly specific question, my young friend. Did you happen to have a mountain in mind?” After a few moments of silence, he continued. “The Heroes’ Relics were thought to contain great power, none more so than the King of Liberation’s weapon. I suppose the only way to know for sure would be to get your hands on it…”</p><p>Claude hummed, clearly hoping for a different answer. “That may not be an option at this point, since Princess has her eyes on Teach constantly. I knew Edelgard was going to be a problem…” After a few moments of silence, he regained his usual jocularity. “We’ll talk later, Tomas. Thanks again for all your help.”</p><p>“Any time, my young friend... and if you find out more information about my old friend Jeralt and his lovely daughter…Promise you’ll let me know first?” Edelgard felt a chill crawl down her spine as Claude responded affirmatively, and the sound of his footsteps moved toward the princess’ location.</p><p>Edelgard turned and nearly collided with the heir to the Alliance, who was rushing out of the room with his usual casualness. The princess feigned surprise at the sight of her rival. “How nice to see you Claude...Looking to see if Flayn was hiding under a stack of books, I take it?”</p><p>Claude grinned at the princess, his smile not reaching his eyes. “Yep, absolutely no sign of any green-haired little girls in there. I even left out some treatises on fishing, but no luck.” He lightly chuckled at his own joke. “Garreg Mach has a lot of secrets, and Tomas knows more about those secrets than anyone-thought I’d see if he had any ideas to help with the search for Flayn.”</p><p>Edelgard met the Riegan heir’s insincere smile with one of her own. “You are certainly correct that Fódlan is a continent with many mysteries, Claude.” The two future rulers stared at each other, neither willing to look away nor concede an inch. “Perhaps none greater than the mysterious heir who appeared from nowhere to inherit the Alliance. I have heard many frivolous rumors about you.” The Flame Emperor removed an imaginary piece of lint from her outfit. “But you know how noble tongues wag.”</p><p>“I certainly do, Princess,” laughed the leader of the Golden Deer. “However, since you’re so clearly trustworthy, how about I make you a deal?” He stuck his hand out, eyes shrewd, every motion carefully calculated. “You promise to swear allegiance to me, and I’ll tell you <em>everything</em> about my own oh-so-mysterious past.”</p><p>“As tempting an offer as that is, Claude, I’ll have to decline.” Edelgard placed her hands behind her back and stared up at her rival. “I don’t think the people of Adrestia would be pleased if I handed over our sovereignty to you.”</p><p>“Suit yourself, Princess,” said Claude, shrugging as he began to walk down the hallway. “It was worth a shot.” However, he stopped, and turned back momentarily, eyes filled with a passion and sincerity the princess had never seen before. “Have you ever thought that your Empire, Dimitri’s Kingdom, the Alliance-all of it-is just dividing us, Edelgard? Don’t you think people of Fódlan, and elsewhere, would be better if those boundaries…didn’t exist?”</p><p>“Breaking down boundaries is a noble sentiment, Claude. I suppose I wonder how one plans to achieve it, and who would be left to rule over this united world.”</p><p>Claude raised his hands defensively. “A question to be answered another day, perhaps.” He gave Edelgard a small nod. “Always nice talking to you, Princess.” As he left, Claude's easy stride made it appear as if he had not a care in the world.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The library was empty when Edelgard entered it, except for the old man in the corner whose back remained turned. “What can I do for you?” said the librarian in a kind, elderly voice that did not fool Edelgard for one moment.</p><p>“I was hoping you could answer a question for an inquisitive student."</p><p>When Solon turned around and saw his visitor, the tranquility on his face vanished in an instant, replaced with an ugly sneer. “What do you want, Flame Emperor? Come to bother a humble librarian at his place of study?”</p><p>“What stupidity are you and Thales concocting? Even you must see how clumsy and obvious this is! Using the Death Knight to kidnap one of the Archbishop’s family from under her very nose?” Edelgard rubbed her temples with frustration. “They’ve already noticed his absence. It’s only a matter of time before he’s found out, and it's linked back to me.”</p><p>“Oh yes, that truly would be terrible. Questions will certainly be raised about the Empire’s role in recommending a madman for such an important position.” His eyes were the color of night, and never left Edelgard. “Why even your beloved Professor may begin to wonder what the little Emperor is concealing.”</p><p>“Leave Byleth out of this. If I hear you asking more questions about her and her father, you will regret it.” She gave her ally a cold, malicious smile. “Thanks to Thales, I know there are things much worse than death. I would be very happy to show you all I have learned.”</p><p>“You will do no such thing, Flame Emperor. All this pathetic posturing for control is meaningless. Thales and I agree that you are a pet that has grown much too comfortable without a leash.” Solon shook his head, and leaned forward on his cane. “And you will be brought to heel if necessary.”</p><p>Edelgard was unwilling to show any weakness in front of the fiend. “Is Claude one of you?”</p><p>Solon began to cackle. “If he was, do you truly believe I would tell you? You misunderstand your place in the hierarchy. You are a figurehead and tool for our glorious revenge. You have no army other than the one we have provided for you. No allies, other than that overgrown bat of a retainer.”</p><p>“I fight for a new dawn for the people of this continent, and that is something a monster like you will never understand.”</p><p>“You posture at moral uprightness when it suits you, Flame Emperor-or did you not notice how your first question was not about whether the girl was safe, but instead the impact on your plans?” He turned his back to the princess and began to place a book on a shelf. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to finish.”</p><p>“I may be damned, but I’ll see you in hell, Solon."</p><p>Solon began to shake with laughter, a rattling, choking sound that seemed to suck the very air from the room. “My people have already been cast into the pit by the very gods themselves.” He turned to Edelgard, a fanatical gleam in his dark orbs. “We shall share the harsh truths we have discovered there, and in the end, the people of Fódlan will look upon us as saviors.”</p><p>Unable to listen to more of the lunatic’s ravings, the princess hurriedly left the room, unnerved by the unblinking black eyes that never left her back.</p><p>As she walked down the hallway, Edelgard’s mind whirled and spun. Earlier in the day, she had lectured Dimitri on his morality, and these were the people she relied upon? <em>Not for much longer</em>, she thought to herself. <em>And if Byleth…</em></p><p>The princess shook her head. As much as she would like to count Byleth as one of her own allies, she could not assume that a kind soul like the Professor would come with her. No, she must continue on her path regardless of what her heart desired. Friendship was a weakness, one her enemies would be all too happy to exploit…She knew better.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hubert walked to Edelgard’s desk, and gently touched her shoulder. “Lady Edelgard,” he whispered. “It is four in the morning, and you do require some modicum of rest.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard groaned, arms and legs sore from the awkward position of her body. She pushed the notes and research on her desk to the side, and began to stumble toward her bed. “Thank you, Hubert,” she said groggily. “I may have overextended myself this evening.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert stood at attention, with his arms placed behind his back, though his face had that irritating quality it always demonstrated when he was about to question Edelgard’s actions. She sighed. “What do you want to ask me, Hubert?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I may have…perused some of your notes and outlines independently,” he began with a smirk. “But I question some of your conclusions. Why do you name the Church of Seiros as the greatest obstacle? Why not the nobility? Or even the monsters that replaced your uncle?” He paused when he saw a look of immense pain cross the princess’ face. “Forgive me for my insensitivity, Lady Edelgard.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You have never been one for social niceties, and it is a fair question.” She sat on her bed, folded her hands, and earnestly looked at her retainer. “Do you know the commandments of the Church of Seiros?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert shook his head. “I must confess, after all that has happened....faith in a beneficent Goddess no longer seems rational.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Faith... is not about rationality,” said Edelgard with a deep sadness. “It is about being vulnerable, and trusting in something other than yourself. The Church preys on that trust.” Hubert looked as if he was about to say something in response, but remained silent. “They state that one can kill, lie, or steal, if it is done in service of the Goddess’ will. How, exactly, does one determine if they are following the Goddess’ will, Hubert?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert began to laugh. “By whether the Archbishop approves of them or not…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Exactly,” said Edelgard with simmering anger. “The Crests, the relic weapons, all of it gives divine legitimacy to the nobility’s depravity. Until the Church is removed, there can be no reform. Equality cannot exist in a society where rules only apply to some, and not all.” Her eyes blazed with fervor. “How can one possibly question the voice of the Goddess?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And the fact you once ardently believed in the Goddess does not enter into this at all?”</em>
</p><p><em>For the first time since she had escaped the dungeons of Enbarr, Edelgard began to laugh. She laughed until her face became red. She laughed so hard tears began to roll down her cheeks and her shoulders began to shake with hysteria. Soon, the laughter turned into shrieks, and she began to beat her fists in rage against Hubert’s chest. </em> </p><p>
  <em>“Why?” sobbed the princess. “Why did She leave me all alone?” She looked up at Hubert, and begged her friend for the solution to an unanswerable question. ”If even the Goddess doesn’t love me, who can?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>Edelgard gripped her head, and began to wince. These unfortunate intrusions of her memories were growing more and more commonplace. Sometimes, the princess wanted to run to Byleth, tell her about the headaches, the sleepless nights, the way she still jumped when someone touched her without warning-but how could she dare? What if Byleth didn’t understand? What if-</p><p>“Princess!” A gruff voice shook Edelgard out of her spiral of self-loathing and doubt. She turned in the hallway to see Jeralt sitting in his office. “Come in, and shut the door,” he said with his usual brusqueness. Without another word, he poured the princess a bottle of liquor and placed it in front of her. “Drink,” he said, gesturing with his hand.</p><p>“Jeralt, I couldn’t…”</p><p>“Yeah, you can. In fact, it’s real easy, Edelgard. You just lift the glass and-” When Edelgard downed the alcohol without another word, he laughed. “Took it like a champ, too. That wasn’t your first.”</p><p>“I…have to be careful. The opportunity to escape my own mind… it is seductive.”</p><p>Jeralt found this greatly amusing. “Making even drinking a philosophical argument. You’re something else, Princess. Must be why-” He trailed off, then leaned toward her sympathetically. “When you were walking in the hallway, I saw that look on your face, how pale you got. Happened to some of the gentler souls in my company.” He smiled at the princess. “Trust me on this-whatever blood’s on your hands, you’re a better person than you think you are.”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “I doubt that very much.” She looked at him suspiciously, eyes refusing to fully meet the man’s gaze. “And how could you possibly know that about me?”</p><p>“Because...my wife was a thinker, too.” When Edelgard failed to respond, he continued. “First time I met her, she was walking down the hallway like you were, and ran right into me. She loved books, and the greenhouse, and quiet walks…” His face became melancholy as he stared at something the princess could not see. “Sweetest person I ever met, and she still spent all her time fussing over other people.”</p><p>“I’m sorry. I know what it’s like to lose loved ones. It never really heals.”</p><p>“No,” said Jeralt firmly. “No, it doesn’t. But what it does give me is perspective. So this big dumb oaf is going to give Her Royal Highness a bit of unsolicited advice.” His eyes twinkled. “Next time you get around someone you trust, let your oh-so-proper guard down. Don't allow your head to get in the way of your happiness.”</p><p>“If only it were that easy, Jeralt...People, in my experience, are unworthy of trust.”</p><p>He waved his hand dismissively. “Well, believe me, I saw the worst of people as a mercenary-the greed, the violence, things that were even worse-and for a long time I couldn’t get past it.” His face darkened as he took another drink. “I thought everybody was horrible, and that I was better off alone. After all, can’t be betrayed if you never rely on anyone else, right?”</p><p>The princess could only nod in response, the reasoning disturbingly familiar. “So what changed?”</p><p>He flashed her a massive grin. “I met my wife.”</p><p>The student and the knight sat for a while in comfortable silence, until the entryway’s thick oaken door slammed open, interrupting the quiet. Byleth stood at the entryway, looking between Edelgard and Jeralt in confusion.</p><p>“Hey By,” said Jeralt happily. “Me and Edelgard were just having a friendly conversation and some drinks. What’s going on?”</p><p>“Have you seen Manuela?” gasped Byleth, sounding out of breath.</p><p>“Manuela? No-oh yeah, I did. Couple hours ago.” Jeralt stroked his chin. “Odd thing too-looked like she was carrying…uh- what’s his name’s mask-“</p><p>“Jeritza,” said Edelgard apprehensively. She turned to Byleth. “We have to go, my teacher. Now.”</p><p>Byelth nodded, and reached out her hand to Edelgard. As they hurried toward the door, Jeralt called out behind her. “Remember what we discussed, Edelgard. Life’s too short to live it all alone in your head.” He gave her a wink, and his final words reverberated in her mind as she followed her professor's path.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Edelgard's trust issues-the chapter!</p><p>Claude is a blast, and if Edelgard wasn't the incredible character she is, I'd likely be on here writing a very long and similarly overwrought Claude fic instead.</p><p>We are going to get reaction to the Lance of Ruin, but it's going to come up in a bit when things slow down. This is a weird chapter in the game, because you can kinda leave Manuela bleeding out on the floor for a month, and I wanted to keep the momentum going. However, once this section is over, we're going to have some time to breathe a bit and do things like the Byleth supports and so forth I've wanted to get to.</p><p>I'd like to thank everyone again for the kind words and comments on this fic-this was a huge leap of faith, and the kudos, comments, and views mean so much. Thanks again, and I hope you all stay safe in these crazy times!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Betrayed Vows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Edelgard stumbled forward, supporting Manuela’s weight up the stone staircases of Garreg Mach, there was one harsh truth she could not escape: This was her fault. The princess’ actions had already cost the lives of many people, but the majority of them were bandits, traitors, and thieves. Manuela was none of those things.</p><p>For all of the woman’s outward debauchery, Manuela had a sensitive, kind heart that was much more perceptive then her hedonistic behavior suggested. From quietly keeping her knowledge of Edelgard’s scarred body in confidence, to kindly discussing one of the few remaining happy memories the princess retained of her Uncle Volkhard, Manuela had treated her with nothing but compassion. She was a person the princess wanted as an ally. As a friend.</p><p>And now, Edelgard’s gloves were stained red with Manuela’s blood. The symbolism was not lost on the Flame Emperor. Was this her glorious new dawn that she had sacrificed so much for? Jeritza had stabbed a healer, a woman of peace, for no other reason then senseless chaos and violence. Edelgard had convinced herself her sins were in service of the weak and the powerless, but words were nothing compared to the brutal reality of what she had sanctioned. The princess could not meet Hanneman’s agitated eyes as they carried his fellow professor toward the infirmary.</p><p>It did not help that Edelgard did not trust Hanneman either. For all his eccentricities, he was a brilliant scholar, and if he and the Church were to discover the truth of her two Crests, it would mean disaster. Years ago, Hanneman had renounced his noble standing in the Empire, and had devoted his life to the study of Crests at Garreg Mach. When she had questioned his reasoning, the man had been disturbingly evasive. The princess knew someone who had dedicated their life to the very thing that Edelgard sought to destroy could never understand her aims. He was yet another possible enemy lying in the grass.</p><p>As Edelgard looked up, she saw a green-haired man with a severe face running down the hallway. “Manuela?” gasped Seteth in rage and shock, looking to Edelgard for answers the princess did not have.</p><p>“Professor Byleth and our class investigated Jeritza’s room, and found Manuela with a knife in her side,” said Edelgard calmly. “Professor Hanneman and I are now taking her to receive treatment.”</p><p>Seteth’s hand gripped the Black Eagle’s shoulder painfully. “And Flayn?” Edelgard shook her head, and the man could only respond with a mournful glare as he pushed open the door to the infirmary.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“You’re sure she will be all right?” murmured Edelgard. The cleric treating Manuela turned to the princess and nodded kindly.</p><p>“Manuela would be touched to see a caring soul like you worried so much for her safety,” said the healer. </p><p>The words burned in Edelgard’s ears. She was no caring soul, just a monster unwilling to confront the ramifications of her actions. Solon was right that she had been playing at morality when it suited her, and Edelgard could offer no words in her own defense.</p><p>“You’re lucky you got her here when you did. The wound will not threaten her life, but she had lost quite a bit of blood.” Edelgard’s shoulders relaxed as she released a breath she had not realized she was holding in. </p><p>The princess turned to Seteth anxiously, attempting to avoid looking at Manuela’s comatose body. “I need to go meet with the Eagles. They may need my help.” Seteth nodded distractedly, which was all the encouragement Edelgard needed to escape to the hallway.</p><p><em>I need to get to the armor</em>, she thought frantically. <em>I have to show that I’m not involved. Show Byleth that I’m not… like them</em>. As the princess argued with herself, she was stopped by a commanding voice.</p><p>“What is the meaning of this!” screamed the Archbishop, filled with divine rage. Edelgard’s breath began to quicken, as she slowly turned around. <em>Oh no, not her, please…</em></p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>El stood straight as an arrow, as she was taught to do on those rare occasions when a particularly important guest necessitated the presence of the entire royal family. The Archbishop of the Church of Seiros had not visited Enbarr for many years, and El and her siblings had been told in no uncertain terms that everything must go smoothly for this visit.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I assure you, Emperor Ionius, that the actions of that rebellious branch of the Southern Church did not speak for the Church of Seiros as a whole,” said the Archbishop sweetly. There was a nostalgic look in her eyes as she looked up at the Emperor. “As you are well aware, Seiros and the Hresvelg family were the greatest of allies. Rebuilding that relationship would mean much to me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ionius sighed. “I understand…Rhea, but to be frank, considering the Church’s actions going back to the War of the Eagle and the Lion, you must understand how the Church of Seiros is viewed by many of my people.” He looked as stern and as forceful as El had ever seen her father. This was not the man who read her bedtime stories. This was the Emperor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The Church gave legitimacy to the descendants of King Nemesis and his Elites. Suddenly, these men were not rebels, but knights of a Holy Kingdom, blessed by Saint Seiros herself. If this relationship is founded on trust, I do not believe the people of the Empire are the ones who must make concessions in rebuilding it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A spasm of anger flitted across Rhea’s angelic face, before she regained her poise. “Fair enough, Emperor Ionius. I believe these discussions have been an important first step in rejuvenating this connection, and I hope this will not be the last of our talks.” The two leaders bowed to one another, and Rhea’s procession made their way out of the Enbarr throne room. Ionius slumped in his chair, strong features clearly exhausted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El scampered out of the throne room, and caught up to the Archbishop and her retinue in procession. El snuck under the arms of the guards, and tugged on the Archbishop’s robes innocently. Rhea jumped and whirled around, face full of anger. “Who-“ she began with a soldier's fury that caused El to tremble. When she saw the cause, the Archbishop’s face softened, and she knelt remorsefully in front of the young interloper. “Who are you, child?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“My name is Edelgard von Hresvelg, Archbishop.” She bowed, and Rhea began to smile warmly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are very well-mannered, Princess. I saw you standing with your siblings in the throne room.” She put her hand to her chin. “Was there something you wish to ask me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El nodded. “You can talk to the Goddess, right?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A look of deep pain appeared on Rhea’s face before she responded. “I…Yes, my child. I am the voice of the Goddess Herself.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Can…can you tell her something for me?” said El in a small, sincere voice. “Can you tell Her that I’m very happy She gave me the Crest of a great Saint like Seiros, and that…” El began to blush and looked downward.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What is it, my child?” said Rhea, hand resting on El’s shoulder. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well, I spend all my time here at the palace, and nobody really talks to me except my siblings…So, I talk to the Goddess a lot, and She always makes me feel better. But I’m never sure if She can hear what I say. Can you make sure you tell Her thank you? From me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rhea held El’s palms in hers and began to stroke them reassuringly. “If this world had more people like you…” She laughed quietly to herself. “I promise I will tell Her, child. But I am confident She already knows.” She turned and began to walk away, before giving El one last smile. “A person with faith like yours will always keep the Goddess with them…”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>The Archbishop had lied to her that day. Actually, the Archbishop had lied every day of Edelgard’s young life. Every night when Edelgard had confided to the Goddess her most intimate dreams and secrets. Every service where Edelgard had sung a hymn of praise to the heavens above. Every simple, faithful prayer to watch over Agnes and her other siblings. All lies. All those precious memories tainted forever.</p><p>The Archbishop’s stark green eyes were filled with wrath as she walked toward Edelgard. “Have you found Flayn? Or Jeritza? Is he responsible for this outrage?”</p><p>Edelgard felt her knees begin to tremble, but she projected outward confidence, and bowed deeply to the Archbishop. “There was no sign of either party, Archbishop, but Manuela was found in Jeritza’s room. It appears likely he was her attacker. I am going to rejoin Byleth and the rest of the Black Eagles, who were pursuing the assailant.”</p><p>“You allowed her to go alone?” muttered Rhea, her eyes seeming to bore into Edelgard’s soul. “The Professor should not be placed into a dangerous situation without the Church’s assistance.” She leaned toward Edelgard, with an almost manic fervor. “Her safety is of the utmost concern.”</p><p>“I care for Professor Byleth deeply, and would never allow harm to befall her.”</p><p>Rhea crossed her arms and looked down at the student, her voice suddenly that of a warrior. “You would dare to compare-“ As Edelgard stepped backward, Rhea collected herself and regained her poise. “All I want is for her to remain safe. I hope you understand that.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded coldly. “Of course, Archbishop. Now if you’ll excuse me…” The princess turned and began to quickly move down the hall, when Rhea’s voice stopped her in her tracks.</p><p>“Edelgard, you are to be the ruler of the Adrestian Empire, correct?” Edelgard turned to Rhea, unsure of where the conversation was leading. After she slowly nodded, Rhea gave the princess a sickly sweet smile. “You must be aware of the proud history between the Church of Seiros and the Hresvelg family. Your ancestor Wilhelm….” Rhea trailed off, a look of profound melancholy lining her features, as she held her hand to her chest. “I want this to be a new start for both Adrestia and my flock.”</p><p>Edelgard stopped, and looked in Rhea’s eyes. There was something shattered in them, a sense of overwhelming loss and tragedy that Edelgard recognized all too well. They were just like her own-haunted, restless, the eyes of a survivor. Up close, the Archbishop did not look like a wise mother, but instead a lost child, searching futilely for consolation. Edelgard acknowledged Rhea’s words, and waited.</p><p>“Jeritza obtained a position at the monastery thanks to the Empire’s recommendation. Your uncle-Lord Arundel’s-recommendation,” said the Archbishop, fury quietly building. “If I find that the Empire was in any way involved in this attack…” She glared at Edelgard. “The Goddess’ judgment shall be swift and terrible. Remember that.”</p><p>Without another word, the Archbishop serenely folded her arms, before turning and walking away, quietly singing a hymn that reverberated off the walls of Garreg Mach.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When the Flame Emperor materialized in the underground chamber, she found herself standing between the Death Knight and the Black Eagles. The students were astonished at the arrival of a second masked figure, and Edelgard took the opportunity to quickly survey her classmates. They had clearly paid the price for Edelgard’s hubris-Sylvain had a gash along his right cheek, Caspar was supported by Petra, and Byleth…</p><p>Byleth looked mentally and physically exhausted, her shoulders shaking as she stood between the Death Knight and the Black Eagles. Her face carried that same implacable rage that it always did when the lives of her students were threatened. And now, she was looking at Edelgard with that same burning hatred. The Flame Emperor knew she deserved Byleth’s contempt, but to see that revulsion aimed at her…a part of Edelgard’s spirit withered at the sight.</p><p>The Death Knight turned to some of the remaining members of the Flame Emperor’s army. “Kill them,” he commanded in his ghostly voice, and raised his scythe to deliver a blow. Edelgard shook her head in disgust. This had gone far enough.</p><p>“Halt,” came the Flame Emperor’s voice. Metallic. Cold. Unforgiving. An inhuman sound that showed neither kindness nor humanity. A fitting voice for an Emperor with a heart of ice. This was Edelgard’s true face-one that belonged far away from the light and grace that Byleth exuded. “You’re having a bit too much fun.”</p><p>The Death Knight swung his scythe in rage. “You are getting in the way of my game,” spat the demon in anger, his obsession with Byleth demanding conflict, calling for blood. The Flame Emperor caught her underling’s weapon in mid-swing, and glared up at the Death Knight.</p><p>The Flame Emperor huffed in anger. “You will have more opportunities to play soon.” She felt bile building up deep inside her. He could have hurt Dorothea, or Ferdinand, or Ingrid. He could have hurt <em>Byleth.</em> “Your work here is <strong>done</strong>.”</p><p>For a moment, the Death Knight stared at his superior, the sounds of his rapid breathing rattling in his metallic helmet. “Understood,” he pouted, before straightening to his full and terrible height. “I will go.” And in a flash of purple light, he and his men were gone.</p><p>Edelgard turned to her classmates, the people she had dared to call her friends, and saw them look at her with a mixture of fear, disgust and anger. She was already damned by association, she realized. Weapons and spells were ready to attack, and their faces showed no compassion, no warmth. Just dread and loathing. Except for Byleth.</p><p>The Flame Emperor had been distracted by her underling, but Byleth was no longer looking at her as an enemy. Instead, the experienced mercenary had sheathed her sword, and watched the intruder with a curious expression. “Who are you?” she stated calmly, steadily, as if she was asking Edelgard to outline a tactical formation in the classroom. There was no hatred. Just a simple desire to understand.</p><p>“I am the Flame Emperor,” said Edelgard, hoping that somehow, her true intentions would be communicated through her inhuman mask. <em>Please Byleth, I am not your enemy. I… need you, selfishly, with everything I am. You are perfectly imperfect. The great light of my existence. The wings that have lifted me out the darkness. The air in my lungs. I love-“</em></p><p>The Flame Emperor stopped, struck dumb by the truth she could no longer run from, the great lie she could no longer tell herself. Her mind churned and legs became mush. She had to leave. Now. “It is I who will reforge the world.” Under the Flame Emperor’s mask, the girl once named El pined for Byleth with a desperate longing. “We will meet again.”</p><p>As the Flame Emperor disappeared, Byleth’s azure eyes never left her for a single moment.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Edelgard materialized outside Jeritza’s apartment, she looked around furiously. There were no witnesses. <em>Good. </em>There was an abandoned building nearby, which Hubert had “accessed” for just such an emergency. Edelgard darted inside, and began to tear off her cold, metallic shell.</p><p>There was a dummy compartment in the wall, where she hurriedly threw the armor until it could be retrieved later. She had to meet with the class quickly, before questions began to be raised about her absence. She had seen Hubert’s acting before. The less attention she drew to herself, the better.</p><p>When she found her class trudging back toward the main hall, Edelgard beelined for Byleth, only stopped by Hubert’s strong, yet surprisingly gentle grip on her shoulder. “There is something you need to be aware of, Lady Edelgard…”</p><p>The princess shook her head. “I have something we must discuss as well. Privately.” She gave her retainer a significant look, tabling any further discussion for the moment.</p><p>Edelgard felt a hand slap her on the back roughly, before hearing Sylvain’s mocking voice. “Is this why you wanted me to join the Black Eagles, Princess? So you can duck out of fights, and leave it all to a big, strong man like me?”</p><p>“Oh, don’t worry, Sylvain. As a house leader, I must plan for every eventuality. I have full confidence that Ingrid and Marianne were more than enough to compensate for any of your shortcomings.”</p><p>Ingrid and Dorothea, who had been walking behind, snorted loudly, and even Sylvain began to chuckle. “Seriously though,” he muttered, “is Professor Manuela going to be okay?” The other Black Eagles turned toward Edelgard, worry evident on their faces.</p><p>“She’ll be fine. The wound was not life-threatening.” She looked at her classmates, lines of concern creasing her forehead. “And what of Flayn?”</p><p>“She’s all right,” said Byleth, turning back with a broad smile on her face. “Seteth will be happy.”</p><p>Edelgard breathed a deep sigh of relief. She did not want Flayn’s blood on her hands. Not today and not here. The fact that her actions had brought such chaos home to Garreg Mach was penalty enough. Still, this mess had taught Edelgard some important truths.</p><p>Byleth stared at Edelgard, the mercenary’s calloused hands playing with the medallion on her neck. “I must meet with the Archbishop and inform her of what has happened, but... can I talk with you tonight? There is something…troubling me.” The princess nodded, and relief crossed Byleth’s face. “Thank you, Edelgard. I can always count on you,” she said with a small, sincere smile.</p><p>The knowledge that she was lying to this woman-just as the Archbishop had once lied to her-was a dagger in Edelgard’s heart.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“That was…unfortunate” said Hubert, looking at the floor. He wandered over to Edelgard’s desk, and began to mechanically straighten a collection of political treatises. “Our…<em>friends</em> have transported another one of their people in. She is impersonating a girl who disappeared last year-Monica von Ochs.”</p><p>Edelgard sighed and shook her head. “This was a message. To me.” The ache in the princess’ hands became impossible to ignore. Ever since the experiments and the awful cruelties inflicted on her, the girl’s fingers would burn with a constant, stinging fire. When it was cold. When she was tired. Or in situations such as this, when she was deeply distressed.</p><p>Hubert put his hand to his chin. “I see no other reason. Why stage such an elaborate farce under the Church’s very nose? Why keep Flayn at Garreg Mach, if they desired her blood so much? Why destroy Jeritza’s cover just to sneak another person in?”</p><p>“Because Jeritza, for all his viciousness, is loyal to me. Because he can be checked,” said Edelgard, before a horrible realization dawned upon the Flame Emperor. “Ochs…Is that Baron Ochs’ daughter?”</p><p>Hubert put his hand on the bridge of his nose and sighed in frustration. “She’s Imperial…which means…”</p><p>“She’s going to join the Black Eagles. This was all about control.” She turned to Hubert, and snapped her finger. “Solon told me earlier they wanted me back on a leash. This is how they do that.”</p><p>“We must respond,” said the retainer as he stood, his voice tinged with hatred. “She will be dead in her bed before the night is through.”</p><p>“No.” Hubert stopped in his tracks at his liege’s command. Edelgard’s face became stern. “If we kill one of their agents, it will be open war. We cannot fight the Church, Duke Aegir, and these fiends simultaneously.”</p><p>Hubert’s hand twitched. “Lady Edelgard, this is a dangerous gamble. You and I both know the situation is untenable. This is not because you fear retaliation against Professor Byleth…is it?”</p><p>The princess refused to meet her retainer’s eyes. “Their agent is joining <em>our class</em>, Hubert. Nowhere is safe. They…I can’t let them hurt her or our friends. Not like this. I…I made a promise to her father.”</p><p>Hubert stared at his liege for what seemed an eternity, before burying his face in his hands. “This is what they <em>want</em>, Lady Edelgard. She has distracted you, made you vulnerable. That woman…there is something lurking under the surface. Something unpredictable, as if her heart is not truly her-“</p><p>“I love her, Hubert.” Edelgard whispered, softly and quietly, voice full of defeat. Silence filled the room. “I…I’ve been denying it to myself this entire time, but it’s the truth.” Her face met Hubert’s, filled with an agonizing vulnerability.</p><p>“It’s-“ Edelgard paused, arms resting on her forehead. “When I saw those eyes of hers in that dungeon today, I realized something. She may choose to protect the Archbishop. I may fight her. She may even kill me. But I will still love her, even as she drives her sword through my heart, always and forever.” She pleaded with Hubert. “Do you understand?”</p><p>Hubert, for once in his impeccable, poised life, appeared at a loss for words. He paced, and he muttered, and he shook his head, but he did not speak or look at the girl who had just exposed her most desperate secret to him. Finally he turned to her with pity. “You know that your plans require-“</p><p>“My plans? My <strong>plans</strong>? What if I don’t care anymore about my silly plans, or Crests, or the damn Empire, or what’s best for Fódlan?” The princess’ hands began to shake. “For just one day, one moment, can’t I be me, Hubert? To have something I want, for myself?” Something was deeply broken in her lilac eyes. “I know in my soul, in my heart, that she won’t choose me…But can’t I just pretend? For a little while?”</p><p>Neither the Emperor nor her retainer said a single word. It was a moment where words felt meaningless, artificial, unable to express the totality of the princess’ troubled existence. Finally, a coldness returned to the Flame Emperor’s face. “Send the letters to Bergliez and Hevring.”</p><p>Hubert’s eyes bulged. “You want to deal with them? After what they-“</p><p>“It has never been a question of want, Hubert,” muttered the princess. “If it was about what I wanted, I would drag Bergliez, Aegir, Hevring, and all the rest into the dungeons, and inflict the horrors they sanctioned on my family a hundred times over with my own two hands. I would-“ She shook her head, rapid breath slowing, poise returning. “It is a simple calculus. They control the Empire's military and finances. If…when we start this war, it will give them wealth and prestige. You know why they created me in the first place.”</p><p>“To reunite Fódlan,” spat Hubert. “It was all my father talked about.”</p><p>“And I will give it to them. Hevring wants money. Bergliez wants glory. I can provide that. If today has proven anything, it is that ideals are meaningless without the power to implement them.“ She stared out the window, watching the sun begin to fall below the horizon. “This war is happening with or without me. Thales and his forces want to use me as a simple attack dog. But if I control the might of the Empire, I will not be so easily cast aside.”</p><p>Hubert shifted in his chair uncomfortably. “And how do you intend to convince the very men who deposed your father to support your claim? We are rather…outmatched at the moment.”</p><p>Edelgard laughed. “Well, if Bergliez wants a demonstration of power and military might, we do have a grand mock battle coming up <em>very </em>soon.” She leaned toward Hubert, a venomous hatred lining her features. “It will be a fine opportunity to show the power of the Goddess they carved into my body…wouldn’t you say?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The dining hall was quiet when Edelgard snuck in. With the lights off, and the students and staff gone, the space was downright eerie. Lysithea had once mentioned to Edelgard her fears that ghosts walked the halls of Garreg Mach, and in an atmosphere like this, her friend’s concerns appeared warranted.</p><p>Edelgard thought back to how Agnes would read her ghost stories each autumn, as the leaves began to fall from the trees, and a cool wind began to shake the windows of the princess’ room. El would huddle under a blanket, and listen, terrified of what banshee or ghoul Agnes would surprise her with next-yet she knew she was safe, because her sister was there. Agnes had promised her as she tucked El into her fluffy sheets-<em>As long as I’m around, you’ll always be safe from any monsters</em>. Another lie, thought Edelgard bitterly. She looked to the ceiling. <em>I miss you so much, Aggie. </em></p><p>“...Edelgard?” called Byleth. The princess jumped, nerves shattered. She looked around frantically before feeling her teacher’s strong arms soothing her. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” Byleth’s face was apologetic. “Being quiet was necessary at my old job.”</p><p>“It’s fine, my teacher,” whispered the princess. “What did you want to discuss with me?”</p><p>Byleth sat down at the table, elbows jutting out at an awkward angle. Edelgard could not help but smile at her teacher’s lack of social etiquette. “I…I don’t know how to say this,” said Byleth cautiously. “But I know you’ll always tell me the truth.”</p><p>The princess sighed. “That’s not true, my teacher. I…will be head of the Adrestian Empire. There are many secrets I must keep, even from you.” Edelgard began to fiddle with her hands, desperately trying to shield her friend’s feelings. “I don’t want you to think that I…it’s not-“</p><p>After Edelgard trailed off, Byleth peered at her keenly, head tilted. When she realized that Edelgard had no intention of finishing her thought, she waved her hand dismissively. “I don’t care if you don’t tell me everything. Papa hasn’t even told me how old I am.” She smiled that infuriatingly pure smile at Edelgard. “Anyway, I don’t understand politics like you. I know how to teach, and how to kill. That’s all.”</p><p>“What would you do?”</p><p>Byleth looked at Edelgard with confusion. “I…don’t understand.”</p><p>“I hate the backstabbing, the compromises, the person that I have to be every day for my people,” said the future Emperor bitterly, words rushing out in a torrent. “And I’m very good at it, which makes me hate myself all the more. But, it’s not…me. Who I am inside.”</p><p>“What are you saying Edelgard?”</p><p>“There are things…things I want,” she looked into her beloved teacher’s eyes. “And I could have them…if I was selfish and I turned my back to suffering. But if I did nothing, if I allowed my heart to keep me from doing what must be done-“</p><p>“You wouldn’t be true to yourself if you did,” finished Byleth, her own tone wistful.</p><p>Neither woman spoke, lilac eyes drawn magnetically to azure. Time seemed to stop, as the two women grasped for something inexpressible, stumbled for the truths they needed to communicate to each other. It was a moment like the night sky before a thunderstorm, when a bolt could shatter the fragile peace at any moment.</p><p>“I would have a cabin, Edelgard,” whispered Byleth. “A table to drink tea, and a dock to fish. A cat that will sit on my lap at night. That’s what I want.” She buried her face in her hands. “I want to be a person, just like everyone else. And…I’m not.”</p><p>Edelgard knew she should soothe Byleth somehow, but the girl who had not felt another’s touch in years was at a loss. So the princess retreated to words, like the coward she was. “Did…did something happen when you returned the Lance of Ruin?”</p><p>Byleth’s eye peeked out from behind her fingers. “How did you…?” She began to play with her medallion nervously. “The Archbishop asked me to return the Lance to her, but Sylvain had told us he needed it for his people. He watched his brother die, Edelgard, and the Church wanted to take it back, as if nothing had happened.” Her brow furrowed. “It didn’t seem right, to act like this was just the way things had to be. So I told her no.”</p><p>Edelgard gasped, a flame burning in her heart. “You told her no…”</p><p>“I’ve never told anyone no before, not even Papa,” said Byleth sheepishly. “Ever since Remire, it’s like I’m…waking up to the person I am. Rhea has been so kind to me, but when I said that, she became so angry. She screamed at me.” Byleth’s voice was childlike and wounded. “She seemed unhappy…like she was scared because I was something she didn’t expect.”</p><p>“What happened?” said Edelgard after a moment of silence.</p><p>“Sylvain stepped forward and calmed her down, and she was nice to me again,” murmured Byleth. She placed the Sword of the Creator on the table. “Sometimes, I wonder whether everyone thinks I’m just part of this sword, a…vessel to help them live their dreams. But what if...what if the person I’m becoming is somebody no one likes?”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “I like the person you are. And I promise you I always will. No matter what.”</p><p>“How can you say that, Edelgard? What if I did something terrible to you, abandoned you, left you alone?”</p><p>Edelgard could only smile. “I’d be happy because I’d know it was you making that choice, my teacher. Not Rhea, not Seteth, just you.” At Edelgard’s words, a look of immense relief washed over her teacher’s face.</p><p>The mercenary again tilted her head, as if straining to hear an unseen speaker. Out of Byleth’s many quirks, this was the one that Edelgard was most taken by. She looked like a child patiently listening to her mother for guidance. “That person today…” she murmured thoughtfully.</p><p>“The...Flame Emperor?”</p><p>“He was very strange,” said Byleth. “He could have appeared behind us and trapped us…but he didn’t. It's almost as if he was trying to show us he had honor-that he was different from the others.” Every muscle in the princess’ body became tense. “Maybe he’s lying. But he seemed so…sad.” She gave Edelgard a bittersweet smile.</p><p>“Why do you think he seemed sad, my teacher?” The Flame Emperor leaned forward, terrified of the answer she needed to hear.</p><p>“He acted as if he didn’t have a choice either. Why else would he show up and try to explain himself?” Byleth shook her head. “I think… I think someone only does that if they’re very lonely.” Edelgard stared into the middle distance, her teacher's words cutting deep into her soul.</p><p>Suddenly, the spell was broken, and Byleth’s blue eyes looked around the dining hall distractedly. “I need to get you dessert.”</p><p>“What? No, you-“</p><p>“Yes, I do,” said Byleth firmly. “After every mission, you go to the dining hall and get a dessert. I’ve seen it.” She stood and smiled warmly at Edelgard. “One of the nice things about being a mercenary is that I know how to pick a lock. Now, come on!” She winked at Edelgard, and the Flame Emperor’s heart melted into a puddle.</p><p>Perhaps she was damned, thought the princess in desperation, but for just this moment, to be around Byleth? To finally be Edelgard? Maybe this great and terrible lie was worth it after all.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Edelgard is the sort of person that post-CF, writes Byleth disgustingly mushy love poems and leaves them around the palace at Enbarr (Byleth's tackle-box is her favorite hidden spot, after Sylvain began to dramatically read them to BESF). I must admit, it's really great fun to write in the sort of florid language that an emotionally repressed romantic like Edelgard would. </p><p>I am so, so grateful I didn't have to do this mission. "Everyone steps on annoying teleporting tiles for 5,000 words" would have been a very different and much more frustrating chapter.</p><p>I love writing Rhea, Dimitri, and Claude's dialogue in this story, because they're each the heroes of their own story, and yet since we're only in Edelgard's head, she has no context to their motivations. It makes Rhea, in particular, so interesting.</p><p>If any of y'all know the Hanneman/Edelgard support, you know that poor, untrusting Edelgard has the guy all wrong. If you haven't watched their support chain, I highly recommend you do so.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Girls’ Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“He said you were <em>what?” </em>Ingrid’s eyes were as wide as saucers, and the outrage in her voice cut through the clamor of the dining hall.</p><p>Edelgard sighed. “Linhardt said I was…acting like an overbearing mother.” Insecurity radiated from the future Emperor as she rubbed her shoulder. “He said I was a pain, and that I was ‘interfering with his personal research.’ He has so much talent…all I want him to do is share it with others.”</p><p>“You did nothing wrong.” Ingrid took a sip of her mint tea and shook her head. “It’s just like last week. I had to drag Felix to <em>his own</em> tactics lecture-making sure to praise him the entire time, I might add-and do I get a thank you? No.” She smiled at her friend. “It’s as if they think we <em>enjoy </em>having to be the bad guy all the time.”</p><p>“Thank you!” exclaimed Edelgard in frustration, almost knocking over her drink in her exuberance. “I’m sure that if we slept in until noon and went to bed early like Claude does, we’d both be much more cheerful!”</p><p>Ingrid rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t get me started on him…Do you know he told me the other day I needed to ‘smile more’? Honestly!”</p><p>The two women looked at each other for a moment, annoyance marking both their faces, before it was quickly replaced by ear-to-ear grins. “I’m so happy we’ve been doing this more regularly,” said the princess. “I know you were hesitant about all the formalities for tea, but…”</p><p>“No, I’m glad.” Ingrid glared at Sylvain, who was leaning against a pillar and flirting ineffectively with Hilda. She turned back to Edelgard and smiled. “This was something I needed to do. For me. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said the other day…”</p><p>“With Sylvain?”</p><p>Ingrid nodded. “You told me I deserved better, and that I shouldn’t have to choose between my family and my dreams. That having to make that choice at all was…wrong.” She stopped, green eyes peeking over the rim of her teacup. “I’ve never thought of it like that before.”</p><p>“I meant every word. As a knight or a bride …either way, you’re giving up your freedom to an antiquated system.” Edelgard folded her hands and grinned. “I want a world where you’re the one giving the orders, not following them.”</p><p>“Considering my ‘antiquated system’ is the only thing keeping order in Faerghus, I’ll ignore that comment,” laughed Ingrid. “Still...” the normally self-confident knight looked oddly shy. “Getting to know you…the real you under all the Emperor nonsense…it’s been nice."</p><p>“It’s…funny you should say that,” murmured Edelgard. “Lately, I’ve been questioning who, exactly, the real me is.” She began to fiddle with her gloves, a nervous habit that was becoming more and more commonplace. “After all, I was never supposed to be the Emperor. It always makes me wonder what I would have been without…”</p><p>A vision of a cheerful woman with chestnut-brown hair and a man whose hair was the color of the summer sun arose in the princess’ mind. They were dressed in eveningwear, and danced while tenderly gazing into each other’s eyes. The princess shook her head, and the apparition dissolved.</p><p>“Is that why…where you...” Ingrid looked at Edelgard, struggling to find the words. “Lost someone?” she finished uncertainly. Her friend could only nod glumly in response.</p><p>“I…I know this will sound insensitive,” said Ingrid. “But it reminds me of my own childhood.” She gazed down at her reflection, rippling in the waves of her drink. “Glenn was…bigger than life. He was brave and handsome. Noble. Everything a knight should be…” She trailed off. “For years, I’ve been trying to hold onto him, be a knight to…stay close to him. And yet all the little pieces-the things that made him <em>Glenn</em>-they keep slipping through my fingers.”</p><p>Edelgard began to blush, and looked at the floor. “Promise me you won’t laugh, Ingrid?”</p><p>“Of course not, Edelgard. There’s nothing to laugh at.”</p><p>“I had a sister.” As the princess started to speak, the sentences began to spill out of her, faster and faster, a dam hidden within bursting. “She was gorgeous, and kind, and took care of everyone. Even though we weren’t full siblings, she-.” Edelgard bit the inside of her lip, unwilling to lose her composure in front of her friend. “I loved her, more than anything. And then one day, a few years ago, I realized I couldn’t remember whether that little mole on her chin was on the right or the left side.”</p><p>Ingrid leaned forward, gaze locked on the princess. “What did you do?”</p><p>“I…I…” Edelgard stumbled over the words. “I draw pictures of her. They’re terrible.” She stared at the ceiling, a speck of dust caught in her lilac eyes. “But they help me remember.”</p><p>The two women sat for a while, watching aimlessly as Mercedes and Annette pointedly avoided Lorenz’s advances. Ingrid finally turned to Edelgard. “Look, I know we disagree about…basically everything.” She laughed quietly. “But thank you.”</p><p>Edelgard mechanically added another cube of sugar to her tea. “Whatever for?”</p><p>“Because, you…I don’t have to lie to you. For as long as I can remember, I was betrothed to Glenn, and maybe I loved him, and maybe I didn’t.” She shrugged her shoulders. “At this point, it doesn’t matter. All I know was that I was <em>expected </em>to love him. And then he died…” The noble took a long sip of her tea. “And who was I without him? The awkward girl who played in the dirt, and would rather ride a horse than wear a dress…Who could love that?”</p><p>“So you became what everyone else needed you to be,” nodded the princess knowingly. “Pretended to be strong, even though everything inside you felt broken.”</p><p>“Exactly. If I didn’t live this sham I was a fearless knight, I’d still be like Bernadetta-hiding from the world. Leaving my room, every morning?” Agitation flitted over her face. “It still terrifies me…opening that door. Every single day. And if that means I have to be harsh…well, so be it.” Ingrid smiled. “It’s nice to talk to someone else who understands that.”</p><p>Edelgard looked at her friend. The question of what Sylvain, Marianne, and Ingrid would do when the Flame Emperor’s plans bore fruit weighted heavily on the princess’ mind. In some ways, just as urgently as Byleth’s. She had gotten to know them intimately, heard their hopes and dreams, their struggles and yet… To ask them to betray their countries? How could Edelgard dare to do that? How could she endure it if they retreated from her in fear? What if she…had to fight them?</p><p>As her eyes wandered around the dining hall, she saw a small white-haired girl swaying dangerously. The girl’s striking pink eyes had begun to roll into the back of her head, and Edelgard was all too familiar with the signs of intense physical exhaustion. The princess turned to Ingrid with a panicked expression. “It’s Lysithea! Help me!” In a flash, they grabbed the Leicester noble, and guided her to their table.</p><p>Lysithea put her hand to her head, and groaned. “I appreciate the assistance. It was careless of me to place myself in that position.” She tried to stand and bow, only to stagger, requiring Ingrid to lower her back to her seat.</p><p>“We’ve talked about this, Lysithea…” murmured Edelgard. “What were you working on this time?”</p><p>“Memorizing chapter fifteen of <em>The Compendium of Light and Dark</em>,” muttered the girl under her breath. “It’s not like you two can throw stones here,” she said with aggravation, before pointing to Edelgard. “You were in the library all last night, and you…” She turned to Ingrid. “And how many times have you been at the training grounds past dark this week?”</p><p>The two women looked at each other with guilty expressions.</p><p>“That’s different-“</p><p>“You’re-“<br/>
<br/>
“I’m what?” pouted Lysithea. “A child? I am the last heir of House Ordelia, and I have a responsibility to my family. I have to fulfill my duties, whatever my age.”</p><p>At these words, Ingrid and Edelgard looked at Lysithea, understanding dawning on both of their faces. “Well,” said Edelgard. “As the last of the Hresvelgs, may I offer some advice? Hard work must still be leavened with some leisure. Wouldn’t you agree, Ingrid?” She kicked her classmate from under the table.</p><p>“Oh…um…yes!” blurted the pegasus knight. “Just as with physical training, the mind needs time to recover.” She smiled warmly at the young mage. “I understand the pressure to provide for your parents, but I’m sure they’re very proud.” Lysithea began to blush at the praise. “Just remember to have some fun for yourself, as well.”</p><p>“You two <em>must </em>be joking.”</p><p>The three women turned, only to see Dorothea, who was laughing so hard her signature hat’s position on her head was becoming quite precarious. Ingrid and Edelgard crossed their arms, deeply offended. “Just what are you implying, Dorothea?” protested Ingrid.</p><p>“What am I-? Honestly-“ The songstress burst another fit of giggles, only stopping to wipe a tear from her eye. “You two are the least relaxed people I have <em>ever </em>met.” She turned to Lysithea. “Honestly Lysi, I love them, but you should go to literally anyone else-Ferdie, Hubie… even Seteth!” Dorothea was cackling at this point.</p><p>“We are fun!” complained Ingrid. “Right, Edelgard?” The princess gave an exaggerated nod.</p><p>“Oh?” said Dorothea, placing her hand on her cheek. “And just what were you two doing after this, on such a beautiful weekend afternoon?”</p><p>“I have a new lance I was going to…” Ingrid stopped as Edelgard glared at her.</p><p>“And you, Edie?”</p><p>“Some of us are busy running a country, <em>Dorothea</em>.” The princess faltered under her friend’s withering gaze. “I…I may have a report on the supply of limestone in Enbarr I need to-“</p><p>“I rest my case.” Dorothea slammed her hand on the table. She leaned forward, displaying the charm that had made her the Mittlefrank Opera Company’s shining star, and turned to Lysithea. “You need an education, my dear. Come with us tonight, and we’ll have a great time!”</p><p>“Us?”</p><p>“The Black Eagles are having a girls' night out in town!” exclaimed Dorothea, clapping her hands together in glee. “And since you’re always tagging along with Edie anyways…”</p><p>“It might be a nice way to build camaraderie…” muttered Ingrid.</p><p>Lysithea turned to the princess. “Are you going, Edelgard?”</p><p>“I…well…” Edelgard’s guilt became overwhelming. After all the chaos her actions had unleashed over the past few days, could she truly participate in such a frivolous activity? Did she deserve to? A stray thought pulled Edelgard out of her spiral of guilt. “How, exactly, did you convince Marianne and Bernadetta to join you?”</p><p>Dorothea looked like a cat toying with a mouse. “Hmmm,” she murmured, placing her hands on her chin. “An interesting question. But what will Adrestia do without your very important report on those rocks, Edie?” She shrugged and began to walk away. “Guess I’ll just have to let Professor Byleth know you couldn’t make it.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><br/>
As the Eagles made their way toward town, the group split up into a series of small conversations. An offhand comment from Ingrid about her pegasus had coaxed Marianne out of her shell and into an excited talk about her beloved Dorte. The two women were now comparing the fine distinctions between maintaining a horse’s coat compared to a pegasus, to the utter bafflement of the other Eagles.</p><p>Petra and Byleth were practical-minded, as always. The Brigid princess had produced a hunting knife, which Byleth was now comparing to her own dagger. Their dexterous fingers twirled the weapons in a dazzling display of skill, but the nonchalant manner in which they compared technique is what was truly impressive. The fact that Byleth and Petra were two of the kindest souls Edelgard had ever met made it all the more fantastic.</p><p>Bernadetta and Dorothea seemed an odd pair, but the songstress had a kind heart, and a gift for knowing just what to say to put Bernadetta at ease. They now were talking quietly about Bernadetta’s needlework, with Dorothea begging the girl to help repair some of her outfits. Edelgard could not help but smile at Dorothea’s thoughtfulness. Many of the Eagles were aware at this point of the abuse that Count Varley had inflicted upon his daughter, and helped Bernadetta as best as they could.</p><p>The timid girl had confided some of the details to Edelgard during one of their occasional gardening sessions. When the princess had found out about Count Varley’s habit of tying his daughter to a chair, she had nearly marched to Enbarr to remove the man’s head from his body herself. Edelgard had a suspicion that if Hubert were to learn the full story, Bernadetta’s father would suffer a fatal accident within a fortnight.</p><p>This left Edelgard and Lysithea to converse with one another, which the princess dearly enjoyed. She felt a strong sense of kinship with the young noble. She was driven, talented, perceptive and a gifted student. Yet, it was her flaws-her irritability, a lack of concern for social niceties, and the way her self-confident persona could instantly crumble-that truly endeared her to the princess. She was…painfully familiar.</p><p>“…Edelgard!”</p><p>The Eagle was shaken from her quiet reflection by Lysithea’s voice. She turned and looked at the younger girl with fondness. “My apologies, Lysithea, I was enjoying seeing everyone so…happy.”</p><p>“It is quite nice, I must admit.” Lysithea looked away, a blush forming on her face. “Thank you for allowing me to come, even though I’m not in your house.”</p><p>Edelgard waved her arm. “Think nothing of it. I enjoy having you around.” She studied the younger girl for a moment. “Was there something you wanted to ask me?”</p><p>“How did you know that I-?”</p><p>The princess grinned. “Because you’ve been alternating between fiddling with that cufflink on your outfit and looking at me since we left Garreg Mach.”</p><p>Lysithea’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Edelgard-“ She collected herself and sighed. “Okay, maybe you’re right, but stop patronizing me!” When Edelgard only responded to her friend’s outburst with an amused smile, Lysithea admitted defeat. The young mage’s voice lowered to a whisper. “Earlier today, you said you were the last Hresvelg…”</p><p>Edelgard’s heart began to beat rapidly. She had not meant to admit such an incriminating detail. Ingrid, thankfully, had too much honor to pry, but Lysithea was clever and stubborn, and would never allow such information to escape her notice. She knew she was trapped.</p><p>“I…am.”</p><p>Lysithea’s pink eyes refused to blink. “You’re smart enough to know that our family has…ties to Adrestia.”</p><p>“Your point?” said the princess, in a tone much harsher than she intended.</p><p>“My father visited Enbarr, a long time ago, and he told me all about the palace, and meeting the Emperor…And he said that he had never seen so many children in one place. At least seven or eight.”</p><p>Edelgard glanced around warily, and stopped, allowing the rest of the group to move ahead, before taking a deep breath. “There were ten, not counting me. And yes, they’re all dead now. Is your curiosity sated?” She began to march forward, only to feel Lysithea grabbing her arm.</p><p>“You will be the Emperor, Edelgard. You have access to all kinds of information that others do not…” Lysithea’s normally confident voice began to falter. “You must know what happened when my family rebelled against the Empire.”</p><p>“Duke Aegir took over your territory…” As the face of her tormentor appeared in her vision, Edelgard could only wince. “I apologize. I know my father played a role in…”</p><p>“I don’t care about the politics, Edelgard, or what your father did. House Ordelia is finished, and my only concern is making sure my family is provided for before-“ Lysithea sighed and turned away. “I wasn’t always the last Ordelia either.”</p><p>“Lysithea-“</p><p>“Is that why you’re always fussing over me? Out of pity?”</p><p>“I would never presume to pity you, or treat you like a child. I respect you far too much for that.” Edelgard shook her head. “I worry about you because…because I know what it’s like to have everything taken from you.” Her eyes were drawn to Lysithea’s snow-white hair.</p><p>A look of dawning horror appeared on Lysithea’s face as her eyes darted back and forth between her own bleached bangs and those of the princess. “Edelgard…oh Goddess…not you too…”</p><p>“I have no idea what you mean,” said Edelgard curtly. “Now, we must hurry, or the rest of our group will be waiting for us.” A smile appeared on her face. “There’s a little stall I like to visit that sells the most delightful candies…” She reached out her hand, and felt her heart lighten when Lysithea gripped it tightly. “I know Dorothea says differently, but I promise we’ll have fun tonight, upon my honor as Emperor.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Whenever students from Garreg Mach made their way into the surrounding village, it was a safe bet they would be hassled by vendors, eager to take advantage of noble students with more money than sense. Edelgard and Lysithea pushed through the throng, as the princess felt a burst of nostalgia well up inside her. She hadn’t had people to…share an experience like this since…</p><p>“Edelgard!” cried Lysithea, mouth stuffed with taffy. “Look at that!” A street vendor was selling a variety of stuffed dolls and figures. Lysithea’s eyes were immediately drawn to a teddy bear, bearing a truly adorable bow tie on his neck. “Not that I would be interested in something so childish, of course.”</p><p>Without another word, Edelgard pulled out her change purse, purchased the bear, and handed it to Lysithea. “Consider this an apology for my rudeness earlier this evening,” mumbled the princess.</p><p>The mage beamed at the animal in her arms, too stunned to respond, before frowning. “But what about you? You’ve bought me candy, and now this… There must be something I can do for you.”</p><p>Edelgard’s eye fell upon another bear, this one decked out in a full suit of armor, his face peeking out from behind the knight’s helmet. It was the most charming thing the princess had ever seen. She shook her head. She was the Emperor of Adrestia, house leader of the Black Eagles! She could never be seen humiliating herself like this! It was one thing for Lysithea, but what would Byleth say if she knew that underneath her cool façade, Edelgard harbored such juvenile thoughts?</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Uncle Volkhard and El wandered the congested streets of Enbarr aimlessly, the sea breeze and the evening sun combining for a perfect temperature. El was always grateful when Uncle Volkhard allowed her to escape to the roads of Enbarr. Her father was never able to take her out, despite El’s many protests, due to the demands of his position. If Agnes was not able to find time for El, the young girl would often be trapped behind the palace walls.</em>
</p><p><em>Her uncle </em> <em>seemed to innately understand El’s need to be among people-to blend into the great teeming mass of humanity. When she had questioned him about it, he had laughed and simply responded that her mother was much the same. This had pleased El greatly. </em></p><p>
  <em>As they walked idly, El’s eyes locked upon a stuffed rabbit in the window of one of the stores of Enbarr. Volkhard looked down and began to chuckle. “Something caught your eye, El?” When El nodded at her uncle, he gave a deep sigh. “I can’t keep buying you these, your father is going to…” He stopped, looked at El’s hopeful eyes, and threw his hands in the air in defeat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When they emerged from the store, Volkhard knelt before the princess. “Now, you have to promise to always take care of that rabbit.” His face took on a comical seriousness, as he raised his hand solemnly. “Do you swear on the honor of the Hresvelgs?” He could not maintain the charade, and both he and his niece began to laugh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El could barely respond through her giggles. “I promise, Uncle.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>“I…I don’t need anything,” said Edelgard firmly. “Being here with you and the Eagles, and not having to do that tedious paperwork, is reward enough.”</p><p>Lysithea had been watching Edelgard closely, and appeared unconvinced. She seemed ready to say something, when Petra burst out of the crowd, uncharacteristically animated.</p><p>“You must be joining us immediately! We are trying on clothes and Dorothea is requesting your presence!”</p><p>Edelgard looked at Lysithea, who was running her hand through her hair, when a thought came to her mind. “You two go on ahead. I have one item I need to buy.” After Petra and Lysithea left, Edelgard searched up and down the stalls until she found what she wanted. The princess smiled. It was perfect.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Edelgard entered the store, she found a completely mortified Bernadetta in a white and tan summer outfit. Dorothea and Petra were praising the girl profusely, while Ingrid and Lysithea sat quietly bemused.</p><p>“Honestly, Bern, we have to do something about that hair,” muttered Dorothea under her breath.</p><p>“W-What’s wrong with my hair?”</p><p>The diva giggled. “Nothing that a little love and care won’t fix.”</p><p>“Why don’t I-I just wear a hat like you?” Bernadetta grabbed Dorothea’s hat, and put it on. The accessory was comically askew on her untidy purple mane.</p><p>As all the girls lost their composure simultaneously, Edelgard looked around. “Where are Marianne and Byleth?”</p><p>“Marianne would only try on her outfit if Professor Byleth did as well,” said Ingrid with a smile. The rest of the Black Eagles turned to look at Edelgard, a private joke passing between them that the princess did not quite understand. Was it something about-?</p><p>As the distinct sound of jingling metal became audible, the other students turned toward the noise. Dorothea, however, continued to watch Edelgard, a meaningful smirk on her face that made the blood begin to rush to the princess’ cheeks. Unable to look at Dorothea’s teasing face for a second longer, Edelgard turned, and saw her.</p><p>Byleth was in a dancer’s regalia, a black and red off-the-shoulder dress that complemented her figure beautifully. The dress had numerous pieces of elaborate jewelry that jostled with every breath Byleth took, and the fabric seemed designed to flatter and accentuate any movement she took. Edelgard was awe-struck, until she realized, with looming dread, that the cut of the dress left almost the entirety of Byleth’s left leg exposed.</p><p>Even Byleth’s scars were lovely. Somehow, the remnants of Byleth’s mercenary work-a sword slash on her leg, a small burn mark on her shoulder-only seemed to accentuate her attractiveness. Her hair was tied back in a simple ponytail, which was more flattering than any elaborate courtesan updo that Edelgard had ever seen. It was as if Byleth had stepped out of a fresco in Enbarr depicting the Goddess Herself. She was-</p><p>“-do you think, Edie?”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “Did…did you say something, Dorothea?” Every single member of the Black Eagles, including Marianne, who had come out wearing an evening gown that was almost identical to her school uniform, had their eyes locked on her and were smiling broadly. The heat began to rise on Edelgard’s mortified face.</p><p>“I was <em>saying</em>, Edie, that our Professor wanted to hear what you think of the outfit.” Dorothea could barely contain her glee, while Byleth looked on, innocent to the chaos she had unleashed. Dorothea snuck behind Edelgard and whispered in her ear. “Glad you didn’t stay in tonight, aren’t you?”</p><p>Fighting the urge to strangle Dorothea there and then, Edelgard resolutely kept her eyes locked on Byleth’s face. If the princess stared anywhere else, she feared she would lose control utterly. “I think…” she paused, completely captivated. “I think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”</p><p>Byleth looked down at the dress happily. “It is really nice, isn’t it? I’ve never thought of trying something like this on before, but I’m glad you all convinced me.” Her gaze returned to the princess. “Do you really like it? Should I get-“</p><p>“Yes,” said Edelgard firmly. “You should get the dress.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the Eagles exited the shop, Edelgard pointedly avoided any of her classmate’s faces. She expected this from Dorothea, but Bernadetta? Ingrid? <em>Marianne</em>? Were her true feelings this apparent to everyone? She turned to Petra. “Do all of you know?”</p><p>“I am not understanding. Know what?”</p><p>Edelgard groaned, and prepared to explain, when she saw that the Brigid princess was hiding her laughter with her hand.</p><p>“We have all been finding you and the Professor’s feelings to be obvious,” laughed Petra. “It is very cute.”</p><p>“Not one word, Petra, understood? I…I don’t want to hurt Professor Byleth in any way.”</p><p>Petra shook her head. “You were my first friend when I came to this place, Edelgard. As your friend, I am only wishing you happiness.” She glanced toward Dorothea, walking a few feet ahead. “Everyone is needing someone to care for them, especially people like us.”</p><p>Edelgard was deeply touched at the sentiment, and could only smile at her fellow royal. They walked in silence, until Edelgard heard Lysithea’s voice calling her. She turned around to see both the mage and Byleth running to catch up to the group, a package in her teacher’s hands.</p><p>Her teacher walked toward Edelgard, only to hesitantly hand her the box. As the student carefully unfolded the present from its brown paper wrappings, Edelgard was shocked to find the stuffed bear she had been eyeing earlier in the day. Her lilac eyes turned to the professor in disbelief. “This…this must be a mistake.”</p><p>Byleth clasped her hands together. “Do you like it? Lysithea said you wouldn’t buy it for yourself earlier.”</p><p>“You…you don’t find it childish? Or silly?”</p><p>Azure eyes twinkled merrily. “You have more responsibility on you than anyone, Edelgard. Everyone deserves to have fun.” She began to blush. “Besides, I think you’re-I mean… it, is really... cute.”</p><p>“Well, I love it,” said Edelgard softly. She looked at Byleth’s face and found herself drifting into her eyes, only for the spell to be broken when Lysithea began to cough loudly. The two women began to shuffle their feet awkwardly.</p><p>“Um…I should make sure that everyone returns to Garreg Mach-“</p><p>“Oh, yes, of course, my teacher…”</p><p>The princess watched as Byleth ran ahead to catch up to the group, occasionally glancing back at Edelgard. She turned to an incredibly smug Lysithea. “Thank you…” was all Edelgard could manage to vocalize.</p><p>Lysithea shook her head. “Think nothing of it. You were right…It was nice to have fun for once.”</p><p>“Oh, that reminds me,” said the princess, producing a small bottle and handing it to her friend. “Here.”</p><p>“What is this, Edelgard?”</p><p>Edelgard’s smile became forced. “I noticed you kept fussing with your hair tonight, and it seems dry.” She held a piece of her own white hair aloft. “I have…similar problems. My hair wasn’t always this…brittle.” Lysithea remained silent. “And, after it happened…well, that bottle has an oil I use every day, so that I don’t…I don’t have to cut it short.”</p><p>Lysithea clutched the gift to her chest tightly. “Thank you.”</p><p>The princess shook her head. “If you ever…” She took a deep breath. “If you ever have trouble with your hair, just let me know. My sisters used to teach me so much about how to style hair, and...” Edelgard tried to swallow, but her mouth remained dry. “I don’t have anyone to share it with anymore.”</p><p>Lysithea touched Edelgard’s shoulder and smiled. “Well, now you do.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Edelgard arrived back in her room in Garreg Mach, she squeezed her gift affectionately, before opening the bottom compartment in her dresser. With one last look, she placed the bear next to a worn, but well cared for, stuffed rabbit before exhaling deeply. It had been a good day, the princess reflected. Maybe-</p><p>There was a single knock on Edelgard’s door. Hubert always knocked twice. Was it Hilda? She normally didn’t- The knock came again, heavier this time. “I’m coming!” called the princess, hurriedly closing her dresser drawer, before opening the door in irritation.</p><p>“Heya Edel!” sneered the demon now wearing the skin of Monica von Ochs. “We’re going to be best friends!”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is an idea I've wanted to get to since the beginning of this fic, and it's almost certainly the most self-indulgent thing I've written. "Edelgard has fun and makes friends" seemed like a nice way to balance all the suffering and self-hatred that has made up the last who knows how many chapters.</p><p>One of the most quietly heartbreaking bits of dialogue in this game, and the moment I kinda "got" Ingrid, is when she tells Annette that she doesn't wear make-up because Glenn never saw her wearing it, and she doesn't want to change without him. </p><p>Dorothea is that friend everyone needs.</p><p>Kronya, aka Fire Emblem Harley Quinn, is about to make Edelgard's life absolutely miserable.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Into the Dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Edelgard ran through the murky swamp in a panic. She gasped from exertion, weighed down by the armor of the Flame Emperor. Where was she? How did she- She didn’t know why, but she needed to find help! Someone, anyone!</em>
</p><p><em>Edelgard looked around her. She was all alone. She hated being alone. Why did everyone leave her? Please…somebody! The princess turned, and saw a familiar black coat. Relief washed over her. It was Byleth. Byleth would help!</em> <em>Edelgard reached out her hand. She could always trust Byleth…</em></p><p>
  <em>Byleth slapped Edelgard’s hand away, stinging the Emperor’s palm. The princess looked at her hand in shock, and when she looked up, her teacher was staring at her with an expression of total disgust. “You lied to me, Edelgard.” There was something different in Byleth’s voice. Something cold and heartless. Something inhuman.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I didn’t want to, my teacher! Please, you have to help me!” Edelgard blinked, and suddenly, Byleth’s eyes and hair were no longer the beautiful blue she loved so much, but an unearthly green. They were the Archbishop’s eyes. The color of the Goddess. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No…” gasped Edelgard. She gripped her teacher’s jacket, desperate to hold on to something as her world crumbled. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You pretended to be our friend,” said the apparition. Suddenly, the two women were surrounded by the rest of the Black Eagles. Their faces did not move or blink, silently accusing Edelgard. She could not bear it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She ran from Eagle to Eagle, searching for help, but none of them responded to her pleas. “They’ll all hate you in the end,” hissed Byleth in her ear. “Don’t you understand? You’re the villain of this story.” The Sword of the Creator was at Edelgard’s throat. “Just like Nemesis, you’ll be the demon everyone fears. They’ll desecrate your corpse, bury you in an unmarked grave…No one will mourn you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard collapsed to her knees, burying her face in her hands. “Please stop!” she begged. “I… I love you, Byleth! Don’t take my friends!” There was a desperate hitch in her breathing. “…Don’t leave me alone.” She looked up at her teacher, tears welling in her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth laughed coldly. “It's what you deserve.” She leapt forward and tore open Edelgard’s gauntlets, revealing the scarred skin beneath. “That’s what you really are…”</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>I’m not a monster…I’m not…” Edelgard sobbed, arms cradling her chest. </em></p><p>
  <em>“No,” said Byleth scornfully. “You’re the Flame Emperor.” She placed the Imperial crown on Edelgard’s head, and the princess began to scream as pain tore through her body. Her skin was turning black and scaled, eyes red and demonic. Ebony wings sprouted from her back, as her arms extended to grotesque proportions. She felt the creeping scales make their way up to her very face. The monster frantically scratched and clawed at her scabbed skin.</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>You remember the Scriptures of Seiros. The Goddess protects all that is good and beautiful in this world,” jeered Byleth. “You’re ugly, Edelgard. Inside and out. Did you really believe the Goddess would protect you? Loved you?”</em></p><p>
  <em>“….No.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She felt hands gripping her elongated arms, and realized with horror the bodies of her siblings were seizing her. Their eyes were cold and dead, their faces skeletal. “Please…please stop!” begged the monstrous Emperor. “I’m so sorry! It should have been me!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why did you get to live, El?” moaned Agnes, as they began to sink into the dirt. “Come with us, back where you belong.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard tried to scream, but her mouth was filled with sand and mud. Her crimson eyes looked up at Byleth, begging for protection. The last thing she saw before the ground swallowed her was the emerald hue of the Goddess, damning her forever.</em>
</p><p>The princess thrashed and kicked in her bed, heart threatening to burst from her chest. The covers of her bed were drenched with sweat. <em>It was only a dream</em>,<em> only a dream</em>, she repeated to herself hysterically. She anxiously strained to determine what was real. As she rubbed her arms, relief rushed through her.<br/>
<br/>
<em>I’m me</em>. <em>I’m still me.</em></p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>Edelgard sat in the Black Eagle classroom, the clasp on her cape askew, her hair ribbons uneven. She was normally fastidious to the point of obsession over her appearance. It was a way to restore calm, to feel in control. But ever since…<em>she</em> had arrived, everything had changed.</p><p>It had been four days. Four days to turn Edelgard’s already tumultuous life into a living hell. “Monica” had followed her everywhere, pestering her with inane questions and never leaving her side for a single moment. She had demanded daily private meetings, usually in the library under the watchful eye of Solon.</p><p>Monica’s acting left much to be desired. One would expect a girl released from a year-long captivity to be reserved, or subdued. Instead, the imposter was bubbly and cheery, drawing skeptical glances and comments across the school. Edelgard had overheard Hilda voicing her concerns to Leonie. The princess was sure that the Leicester noble was far from the only person with suspicions. Suspicion that would now fall upon her, as well.</p><p>The worst, however, had been when Byleth had approached her for their weekly tea session. Monica had stood behind the Professor, glaring at her murderously. When the princess had suggested another time, Monica had insisted she and Edelgard had a prior commitment. The message had been clear.</p><p>Edelgard had tried to find Byleth to reschedule, until Monica had appeared again. This process had repeated over and over, and the look of growing disappointment and hurt in Byleth’s eyes was agonizing to witness.</p><p>The princess sat in her usual middle seat, waiting for Ingrid and Bernadetta to join her. Ingrid and Edelgard were the two most studious note-takers in the house, while Edelgard and Bernadetta found each other’s presences calming. It was a comfortable arrangement that had lasted since Ingrid’s transfer at the beginning of the school year. The princess sighed contentedly as she wrote with her quill. At least for a moment, she would be free from-</p><p>“Edelgard! I am so very enthusiastic to finally be enrolling in the academy!” A diminutive girl with the green hair from Edelgard’s nightmare excitedly sat next to her. “I must express my most gracious appreciation to the Professor at her earliest convenience.”</p><p>“Will you be…joining our class?”</p><p>Flayn nodded. “Oh yes! The Professor and my…brother have assessed that the safest decision would be for me to join the Black Eagles! A most wise course of action, would you not agree?”</p><p>“That is truly wonderful,” said Edelgard through gritted teeth. Not only was she dealing with Monica, but now one of Rhea’s…family would be here as well? How could Edelgard’s life get any worse?</p><p>“Hi Edel! Is this seat taken?” Monica stood over the princess with an insincere smile.</p><p>“Well, actually that’s where-“</p><p>“You know, I’m so very far behind in my education, I’m think I’m going to need you!” Monica sat in Ingrid’s chair, and gave the princess a mocking wink. “I just appreciate your help so much!”</p><p>Flayn tapped on Edelgard’s shoulder. “I could not help but notice you have shattered your quill, Edelgard. Do you have some manner of illness?”</p><p>As she watched Ingrid and Bernadetta find new seats, Edelgard looked down at her snapped writing utensil and sighed. Separated from her friends by a slithering monster from the dark and one of the Immaculate One’s family…It was such an apt metaphor for the princess’ existence, she almost began to laugh.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the class ended, the princess moved to the front of the classroom. Whatever nonsense Monica tried, Edelgard would not stand for it a moment longer. “I was hoping we would have a chance to have our tea, my teacher,” said Edelgard hopefully.</p><p>A light began to shine in Byleth’s azure eyes. She leaned forward on her desk and smiled at the princess. “Oh, wonderful! I was so worried that I had done something wrong and you-“</p><p>“No. If the fault lies with anyone, it is-“</p><p>“Um, Edel? You’re supposed to be helping in the library? I don’t know which books I still need.” Monica grabbed Edelgard’s shoulder and pinched forcefully, causing the princess to startle. Even years after being restrained forcefully by Aegir’s men, unwanted contact sent spasms of fear and panic throughout Edelgard’s body.</p><p>“Oh, well, if Edelgard promised…” Byleth trailed off sadly, shoulders slumped, and began to gather her books. “Perhaps another time.”</p><p>Flayn had wandered up toward the group hesitantly. “I also could use assistance in procuring my academic materials.” She appeared deeply nervous. “It is difficult, as I do not have many close companions among the class at present and-“</p><p>Edelgard sighed. “I will, of course, show you around as well, Flayn.” She turned, head downcast, and began to walk toward the door, when she collided with a tall, muscular figure. She looked up, saw a flash of red hair, and started to groan. “This is <em>really</em> not the time, Sylvain.”</p><p>“You know, I have a bone to pick with you, Edelgard…We get not just one, but two lovely ladies in our class, and you’re trying to steal them for yourself! I can’t let that stand.” He turned to the two newest Black Eagles. “I’m sure our house leader is extremely busy, and since I’m an expert in showing beautiful women a good time….”</p><p>“Oh, that’s all right, I’m very fond of Edel-“ protested Monica.</p><p>“Oh, but I insist, Monica. You know, I must admit, I love your hair…I’ve always heard people with red hair are quite the catch.” Sylvain flashed an unbearably cheesy grin. “Plus, I’ve been trying to show Flayn that I’m not just a smooth talker. This’ll be a great chance for all of us to get to know each other better!”</p><p>Flayn laughed. “If you provide me another feast of seafood, I shall have no objections.”</p><p>“Then it’s settled. C’mon ladies, I don’t bite.” As the two new students walked ahead, Sylvain turned back to Edelgard and winked. “Enjoy your time with Professor Byleth.” He laughed as a look of deep relief crossed Edelgard’s face. “Oh, by the way, have you had any luck on those peace treaties between Adrestia and Dagda? I want to see if the way they handled concessions could apply to Faerghus and Sreng.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “Yes. Hubert obtained them last night. I’ll drop them off at your room before bed, and we can discuss some of the details this weekend.”</p><p>“A beautiful woman like you coming to my room at night? I must be doing something right.”</p><p>The princess rolled her eyes. “Don’t push your luck.” As the Faerghus noble turned to leave, Edelgard grabbed his shoulder. “Sylvain…thank you.”</p><p>Sylvain waved his hand dismissively. “Hey, friends look out for each other…it’s my pleasure.” As he ran to catch up with Flayn and Monica, Edelgard turned to Byleth and smiled.</p><p>“Let’s talk, my teacher.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard truly loved her time at Garreg Mach. For a brief moment, she was not the Flame Emperor, soul stained by countless sins, or the Princess of Adrestia, with all its myriad responsibilities, but simply Edelgard, a teenage girl who loved her friends deeply. She knew it all would end sometime soon, due to her destined path, and it would be yet another regret in a life filled with them.</p><p>Every week, Edelgard and Byleth would meet and have tea. It was a comforting and beloved ritual in the princess’ chaotic existence. They would discuss everything and anything-political theory, gardening, battle strategies, cats-and Edelgard could not help but find her teacher’s idiosyncratic view of the world fascinating. Somehow, Byleth, an accomplished, well-traveled mercenary, was completely unaware of a multitude of institutions and concepts fundamental to life in Fódlan.</p><p>More disturbingly, Byleth was often unable to recall important events in her life before Garreg Mach. She could not remember if she had ever fought pirates, or what the Alliance was like, or numerous other details. Combined with Jeralt’s cryptic warnings, Edelgard worried deeply over what this meant for the woman she loved.</p><p>As the two women sat down for the tea Byleth had prepared, Edelgard could not help but notice that it was bergamot, her favorite. She had mentioned it to Byleth offhandedly in one of their many conversations, and every future tea session had included that specific blend. Such a simple act of unnecessary kindness, a demonstration of Edelgard’s worth, meant more than the princess could ever express. The two women relaxed in comfortable silence for a few minutes, enjoying the cool breeze blowing through the garden and one another’s company.</p><p>Finally, Byleth puts down her cup. “You seem tired, Edelgard.”</p><p>The princess nodded. “I am. Besides…Monica, I have been dealing with an increasing amount of responsibilities lately. There are rising tensions between an Adrestian noble and the Central Church that I have had to play an active role in.”</p><p>Edelgard hated how easily half-truths and lies about her actions as the Flame Emperor fell from her lips, but there was nothing else to be done. She had been playing a dangerous game already. Criticizing Crests in front of a member of the Church of Seiros was heresy, and subject to severe punishments, which even the Emperor of Adrestia needed to avoid.</p><p>“Is there anything I can do to help?”</p><p>The princess laughed softly. “It’s a rather…delicate situation.”</p><p>The former mercenary took a sip from her tea, and gazed at her student blankly. “Well, if they need a lot of fish, or they lose something at the monastery, you tell them to come to me.”</p><p>There was complete silence as Edelgard stared at her Professor, slack-jawed. “My teacher, was that a <em>joke</em>?”</p><p>Byleth tilted her head and did not respond for a moment, as if straining to hear a quiet voice. Finally, she nodded, apparently satisfied, before responding-“I think so. Yes.”</p><p>That stone-faced answer, along with Byleth’s attempt at humor, was too much for Edelgard. She doubled over in laughter, royal dignity completely forgotten. Byleth silently watched her, bemused, until the princess finally managed to collect herself. “That is the first time I’ve ever heard you tell a joke, my teacher.”</p><p>Byleth did not immediately respond, and instead stared down at her teacup with an incongruous melancholy. “I haven’t really… tried it before.”</p><p>The princess began to curse herself internally-<em>you’ve upset her</em>! Edelgard’s heart began to beat frantically as she attempted to mitigate the damage. “Did…did you not hear or tell jokes in your mercenary company, or from your father?”</p><p>Her teacher paused for the moment, giving the question more reflection than Edelgard had ever expected. Suddenly, Byleth turned directly to her student and leaned forward. The tranquil azure of her teacher’s eyes was replaced by an intense passion. A look Edelgard had never seen in them outside of combat. “Until the night I met you-things like that didn’t matter.”</p><p>Edelgard immediately found the interior of her teacup to be the most fascinating thing in all of Fódlan. She longed to look deeply into those bottomless blue eyes and proclaim the depths of her affection. To tell Byleth how she had shone a great light into the dark void of Edelgard’s dreary existence, but instead, she ran from her own terrifying feelings.</p><p>“My teacher, I had a question for you.”</p><p>Byleth gave the princess one of her increasingly common smiles. “Of course, Edelgard. What is it?”</p><p>Edelgard paused, wording her question with immense care. “I was… curious on your feelings toward the Church of Seiros.”</p><p>Byleth’s face became unreadable, even to the princess, who had become adept at interpreting Byleth’s subtle mannerisms. “Why do you ask?” murmured the mercenary with curiosity. The princess phrased her response tentatively.</p><p>“I know that I have been…open with you about my dislike of the Crest system the Church promotes, along with the nobility, during our missions involving Lonato and Miklan.” Byleth nodded at Edelgard’s words. “However, you have not really expressed your own opinions on the matter.”</p><p>Byleth hummed in response. Edelgard continued, feeling emboldened. “…And furthermore, I cannot help but notice that the Black Eagles have gained a number of students, such as Sylvain, Ingrid, and Marianne, who have expressed a dissatisfaction with the current social and political structure.” There was an uncomfortable silence.</p><p>The professor again tilted her head, lost in thought, before turning back to her student. “The Church has let me be a teacher, and I will always be grateful to the Archbishop for that,” began Byleth. “Before coming here, I went where Papa told me, and killed the people I was paid to kill.” Edelgard leaned forward, filled with curiosity about Byleth’s mysterious past. “My own feelings didn’t matter-in a way, I’m not sure I had feelings.”</p><p>“My teacher, you are one of the most compassionate people I have ever met-“</p><p>Byleth interrupted-she <em>never</em> interrupted Edelgard. “Do you know what they called me when I was a mercenary?”</p><p>Edelgard was fully aware, and had seen the look of deep pain on her teacher’s face when the guards would whisper and point at Byleth behind her back. Out of both compassion and cowardice, she refused to speak, so Byleth answered her own question.</p><p>“The Ashen Demon.” Her student nodded slowly, allowing Byleth to continue. “I was called that because I killed without a change in my expression-people said I lacked a heart. And they were right.”</p><p>Edelgard did not know what to say. She had never seen her beloved teacher, her rock, so vulnerable. Finally, Byleth took a sip of tea and smiled. “But the other students and especially…<em>you</em>.” She looked away shyly. “Have made me…<em>more</em>. And I would be a bad teacher if I failed to notice how many of them have problems with the Church and the nobles.”</p><p>“And now, Professor Hanneman tells me that I have a Crest. And not just any Crest, but the Goddess’ Crest of Flames.” Byleth leaned back in her chair. “I’d never even heard of the Goddess before I came here…how could She bless me? What makes me special?” Byleth tapped her fingers on the table in agitation. “It scares me…what it all means.”</p><p>“Whatever the Goddess wants from you, my teacher, we will discover it together. I swear upon my honor as a Hresvelg…and your friend.”</p><p>Byleth gave a sigh of relief, before adjusting the medallion on her chest. “I am still learning about what faith can give people’s lives, and how others can take advantage of that.” Byleth pushed her uneaten cake over to the princess’ side of the table, and smiled. “I know that is not an answer, Edelgard,” said her teacher serenely. “But I promise that when I find an answer, you will be the first to know.”</p><p>Edelgard mumbled her thanks, considering the result about as good as she could expect. Minutes passed in relaxed silence, until Byleth abruptly spoke, startling the princess. “And what about you, Edelgard? How do you feel about the faith?”</p><p>Edelgard began to lecture in a stern, practiced voice. “Well, the Church has-“</p><p>Her teacher raised her hand. “Not the Church. I mean faith…and the Goddess?” Byleth questioned softly. Edelgard fought the urge to flee the garden, her mask of self-confident intensity shattered by Byleth’s gentle, patient tone.</p><p>“It…it used to mean everything to me. I prayed every day, followed every teaching, but I-“ Edelgard paused, as she felt her voice crack. “When I really needed Her, She… wasn’t there. It’s…I suppose it’s easier to think She doesn’t exist, than to think that She didn’t-... to dwell upon that rejection.” Edelgard massaged her gloves, covering her scarred, ruined hands. “I guess what I believe in is people, and their ability to choose their own destiny.”</p><p>Byleth nodded solemnly. “I think I understand, Edelgard.” She reaches across the table and gripped her student’s hand with a gentle firmness, causing Edelgard to shiver at the contact. No one had held Edelgard’s hand with such tenderness in years. “I may not be the Goddess, but if you ever need help, please tell me, and I will protect you.” The princess felt her heart begin to swell.</p><p>“I promise, my teacher.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>That night, Edelgard von Hresvelg woke at her desk in a cold sweat. She had been screaming again, she realized with deep shame. The princess walked toward the window, desperate to convince herself that she was safe, that she was not back in that awful dungeon. </p><p>Sometimes, when the evening was especially dark, and the dreams especially vivid, it felt like everything in her life was just a delusion. Her greatest fear was that one day, she would wake to find herself strapped to that bloodstained table, with jagged knives again cutting into her flesh.</p><p>On the worst nights, she would awaken, and see her siblings. Standing around her bed, silently watching her. She would struggle to move and they would move closer and closer....She shuddered at the thought. </p><p>As she watched an owl soar by in the moonlight, she heard a soft tap at the door, very different from Hubert or Monica’s confident blows.</p><p>“Edelgard?” whispered the voice of her teacher, heavy with concern. “Are you all right? Can I come in?” Edelgard froze in horror.</p><p>
  <em>You cannot allow Byleth to see you like this! What scared, weak child cries out in their sleep? You are supposed to be the Emperor! She’ll-</em>
</p><p>Edelgard stopped, and thought, agonizing as she remembered Byleth’s promise in the garden. The trust and sincerity in those eyes of blue. The princess sighed, and made her decision.</p><p>
  <em>I may not believe in the Goddess, but I do believe in her.</em>
</p><p>She walked across the room, took a deep breath, and opened the door.</p><p>Byleth stood in the entryway, a look of deep concern on her face. “I was returning a sword to Felix’s room, when I heard you shouting. Is…something wrong?”</p><p>“It’s nothing…I was just talking in my sleep,” said Edelgard, feeling her shoulders tense. She began to back away unconsciously.</p><p>“Oh,” mumbled Byleth, clearly at a loss. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” She began to shuffle toward the door, before stopping awkwardly. “I guess I’ll just go back to prowling the monastery for a cute guy.” Her arms dangled at her sides, and her face was expressionless.</p><p>Edelgard stared at her teacher, mind failing to process what she had just heard. Byleth stared right back, with a tranquil expression. After what felt like hours, Byleth rubbed her shoulder. “Sylvain told me to tell you that sometime. He said you would find it funny, and I thought a joke might make you feel better, like earlier today.”</p><p>Without another word, Edelgard walked past Byleth, and closed the door. She turned back to her teacher, and grabbed her arm, as if she would disappear at any moment. “Thank you…” whispered Edelgard softly.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“For…for being you.” was all Edelgard could say. After a moment, she realized what she had done, and shrank away, face bright scarlet. She retreated to her bed, only to see her teacher sit down right next to her. Byleth held out her hand, and Edelgard hesitantly placed her own trembling fingers in Byleth’s. The two women quietly sat for a long time, words seeming utterly unnecessary to communicate their care for one another.</p><p>“I’ve…I’ve had them since I was a child.” Edelgard’s voice was cold and harsh, but her shoulders began to shake. “Stupid pointless dreams that I can’t control…It’s terribly frustrating.”</p><p>Byleth listened quietly as her friend spoke, and when Edelgard finished talking, gave her gloved fingers a squeeze. “What are they about?”</p><p>Edelgard sighed. It was a reasonable question. “Just…my childhood. A time before I realized who I was destined to become.”</p><p>“I thought you believed in people choosing their own destiny,” said Byleth with a small smile. “Is there anything I can do?”<br/>
<br/>
The princess quietly laughed. “They’re worthless dreams of the past…talking about them won’t change what happened…or who I am now.”</p><p>Edelgard stood and walked to the window, looking up to the sky as if waiting for a sign. Whatever decision she made, there would be no turning back from this moment. If she said nothing, she would still be alone, but at least she would insure that her blackened heart would not be shattered again. But to tell Byleth her most intimate secret…</p><p><em>Life’s too short to live it all alone in your head</em>. Jeralt’s words echoed in the princess’ mind. He was right…she had to be brave.</p><p>Edelgard turned, lilac eyes pleading with her teacher. “I…will tell you. But only if you swear not to tell a soul.” Byleth nodded, and Edelgard began to speak. The words tumbled out of the princess, composure faltering as she dug her fingers into her palms so hard they cut skin.</p><p>“I dream of…my older brother, paralyzed and helpless…My older sister crying for help that never came…the youngest babbling words beyond meaning. I see my family…dying slowly, waiting in the darkest depths for a glimmer of light. I once had ten siblings…eight older and two younger. Such a large family, and yet I became heir to the throne. Do you know why?”</p><p>Byleth quietly listened to the princess, before shaking her head.</p><p>“Because every single one of them was crippled by disease, or lost their mind in front of my eyes,” Edelgard spat hatefully.</p><p>“How…” whispered Byleth. “How could such an awful thing… happen?”</p><p>Edelgard ignored the question. She could never tell Byleth that Ferdinand’s father had orchestrated such an atrocity. Or that Bernadetta, Caspar, and Linhardt’s parents had supported it. How could she explain that her classmates’ fathers had turned her into...this?</p><p>“Things kept getting worse…the darkness kept getting darker…In the end, I was the only one who survived. The nightmares are a reminder…to never forget. To never allow such terrible things to happen again.”</p><p>Byleth looked down at the floor for a moment. “But what about you? When you have these…dreams, who do you talk to about them?”</p><p>“Why should I talk? I must carry the weight of the Adrestian Empire. The future of…everything depends on me.”</p><p>“No.” Byleth shook her head, and stood. “No, it doesn’t.”</p><p>“I…what do you mean?” Edelgard began to back away, mind in a panic.</p><p>“Today, you promised to help me. Just like that.” Byleth snapped her finger. “Why do you think I wouldn’t do the same?” Her face was painfully earnest. “You’re…important to me, Edelgard. Let me help you.”</p><p>“No. I…can’t.”</p><p>“Why?” Her teacher’s eyes were probing into Edelgard’s soul, revealing secrets and truths the princess wanted to keep buried. Charging into battle, ax held high? That was one thing-but to admit the dark heart of her very existence? The reality she had learned in the cells of Enbarr? She was not brave enough.</p><p>“Because I’m not worth it! Don’t you understand?” Edelgard's voice was severe and distant. It was the voice she used every day to project a confidence she did not feel, to shield and protect her broken heart. Byleth simply remained silent. Edelgard could not bear to look at her teacher’s face any longer, to lie to her with the false face of the Emperor. She buried her face in her hands. “Everyone I love…dies,” she whispered quietly. “I don’t want you to die, too.”</p><p>Unexpectedly, she felt her teacher’s arms encircling her, one arm quietly massaging her back. Byleth guided her toward the bed, and the two women sat for a while as Edelgard’s rapid breath began to slow. Byleth finally looked in Edelgard’s lilac eyes and smiled. “Can I tell you a story?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded, afraid that she would lose her composure if she began to speak.</p><p>“A little while ago, Papa showed me something.” She smiled, but there was a raw ache behind Byleth’s expression. “My mother’s buried here at Garreg Mach.”</p><p>Edelgard gasped. “I didn’t know she was buried- I'm sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be,” said Byleth calmly. “Papa said she was always…fragile, and that she…” Byleth turned away. “Right around when I was born.”</p><p>“That isn’t your fault, my teacher.”</p><p>“Maybe not,” said Byleth. “But without me, my mother…would still be alive.” She ran her fingers through her messy blue hair. “It hurts me so much, to see how he's... But Papa told me something.”</p><p>“What…what did he say?” whispered the princess.</p><p>“That…she loved me, more than anything, and that those moments with me…” Byleth rubbed her hands together. “They were the happiest of her life.” She turned to the princess and caressed her shoulder. “Your siblings would be proud of the person you are."</p><p>Edelgard shook her head angrily. "How can you possibly know that? My siblings were loving, and funny, and wonderful. They were so <em>good</em>." She looked down at her open palms "The things I'm capable of with that crown on my head...it scares me."</p><p>"I know they'd be proud because I'm proud," said Byleth firmly, grasping Edelgard's wrist. "The Emperor may be cold, and distant, and arrogant-" The princess smiled, remembering that conversation so many months ago.  "...But my friend, Edelgard? She's warm, and kind, and thinks of everyone before herself, even if she always tries to hide it." She place a hand on Edelgard's shoulder. "That's who I'm proud to know."</p><p>Edelgard stood, and walked away from the bed, blinking furiously to dispel the tears in her eyes. She could not bear to show such weakness in front of the woman she admired so deeply.</p><p>“Can you…show me, sometime? Where your mother is-?”</p><p>Byleth gave a melancholy smile. “Only if you promise to let me meet your siblings.”</p><p>The princess nodded. “I promise.” The two women smiled at one another, a simple gesture of complete trust that Edelgard had never dreamed of experiencing again.</p><p>Finally, Byleth stood reluctantly. “I should…go. If I’m found in your room this late, I…”</p><p>Edelgard grabbed Byleth’s hand. “Don't- Can you please…stay here, my teacher? Just for a little while? After a nightmare, it's hard to be...alone.”</p><p>Byleth nodded, and sat on the bed, holding Edelgard’s hand. For years the princess had fled from the dangerous promise of friendship, of love, but like a tree starved for water, she craved those small gestures of intimacy she had been so cruelly denied. To go so long without another’s touch…it had been a truly miserable existence.</p><p>Edelgard felt eyes grow heavy. She should stay awake, as Imperial princess it would not do to-</p><p>The sun’s rays broke through Edelgard’s window. As the princess rubbed her eyes, she found herself wrapped in her comforter, one of her pillows resting under her head. Edelgard looked around in a panic. Was Byleth still-? Her eyes fell  upon a note left on her desk. As the princess picked it up, she could not help but smile at her teacher's untidy scrawl.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Edelgard,</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I hope you slept okay. I was getting worried because you fell asleep on my shoulder and started snoring. I felt bad because you seemed really comfortable. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I promised to protect you today. Papa says don’t make promises you won’t keep. No one should be alone. If that happens again, come and find me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>B.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Edelgard clutched the piece of paper to her chest. For someone to care…to know that she wouldn’t have to face her nightmares alone? She felt her spirit soar.</p><p>It was like the Emperor had been given wings.</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I couldn't help but feel that the stress Kronya puts on Edelgard would send her nightmares into overdrive (BTW, just to be clear, Edelgard's not seeing her siblings’ actual ghosts-it's sleep paralysis).</p><p>I was discussing this in a comment earlier, but I really dislike redoing dialogue or scenes that we already have seen in the game. You played that scene already. I always try to add a new or different twist, whether it's Byleth's talk about her mom here, or the occasional shockingly bad punctuation or spelling error (a CaptainFlash signature). These supports are so fundamental to the Byleth/Edelgard relationship, they have to be in this story. I hope you'll forgive it.</p><p>Sylvain using his powers of misogyny for chaotic good when Monica showed up had been in my head forever. But look at our boy talking to Edelgard like a person! It's going to be baby steps with Sylvain, but he'll get there.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Cutting a Path</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On the final day of the school-week, Byleth liked to hold practical sparring sessions-a holdover from her time as a mercenary. The Black Eagles had become an efficient and skilled fighting unit over the past few months, and these skirmishes allowed the more exuberant students, such as Caspar, to cut loose.</p><p>Edelgard loved these moments, and the chance to spar with skilled fighters such as Ingrid and Petra, and most of all, Byleth. Her teacher was an incredible combatant, and the princess had learned more from her in these precious few months than from years of instruction back in Enbarr. The combat arena was the one place that did not care for status, or titles, and Edelgard appreciated the brutal objectivity.</p><p>As the session concluded, the other students gathered around Byleth and Edelgard in anticipation. The professor nodded at the house leader.</p><p>“One more round?”</p><p>Edelgard smirked and confidently gripped her ax.</p><p>“Prepare yourself, my teacher.”</p><p>As the Black Eagles watched, the two fighters launched themselves toward one another. First a dodge, then a feint as they tested each other’s defenses. Edelgard, as ever, took the offensive, unleashing brutal swings with her ax that Byleth shrugged off with a practiced, easy dexterity. The Black Eagles cheered and hollered, enthralled by the sheer power on display. The way the combatants’ style contrasted with their public personas only added to the intrigue.</p><p>In battle, there was little trace of sweet, clumsy Professor Byleth. Here, there were no awkward elbows, or hesitant speech. Every movement was calculated and graceful. Her swordplay was a beautiful dance, as her sword elegantly poked and prodded the opponent. The mercenary was a wolf, never moving without a purpose, calmly waiting for her prey to exhaust itself before moving in for the kill.</p><p>Meanwhile, the outwardly refined and sophisticated Imperial princess fought with a breathtaking ferocity. Edelgard was skilled with her weapon, to be sure, but the passion and fury she carried into battle rendered her almost unrecognizable. However, for all her aggressiveness, there was subtle vulnerability evident in her every movement. The princess battled with the desperation of a person who knew how fragile and cheap life truly was.</p><p>Once, Byleth had asked Edelgard over tea why she favored the ax, and not the sword or the lance. The princess had attempted to deflect with self-deprecation, claiming that she was not skilled enough to wield the sword. Byleth, however, had refused to accept that response, forcing the princess to reveal the true reason.</p><p>“Because the ax is a simple instrument. Every movement requires commitment, strength… a purity of will. There are no half-measures possible with such a weapon.” She smiled and took a sip of her tea. “So much of my life is about fabrications and compromises. But on the battlefield? I put my whole self into every blow of that ax, my teacher, demonstrate my conviction with every swing.” She looked deeply into Byleth’s eyes. “If there is one thing I want the world to say about Edelgard von Hresvelg, it is that she fought for what she believed in.”</p><p>As the two fighter’s weapons collided, they paused for a moment. They were tantalizingly close to one another, and Edelgard could feel the heat of the mercenary’s breath on her face. The women gave each other a small smile. It was a symbol of the pure joy they felt. A happiness that came from the knowledge that against an opponent this powerful and skilled, there was no need to hold back. As the two fighters restarted the fight, countering and repelling each other’s blows, the students could only see flashes of white and blue hair in the blur of the contest.</p><p>Byleth misjudged the angle on a parry, and stumbled backward. The princess, seeing an opportunity, raised her ax upward for a decisive blow. Suddenly, the mercenary dived downward, swinging her leg to cut Edelgard’s weight out from under her, and sending the future Emperor of Adrestia crashing to the ground below.</p><p>The princess slammed the earth in frustration, pouting until she was helped off the ground by a calloused hand. “Your footwork has improved.” Edelgard’s face began to redden at her teacher’s praise. “But you still fight too honorably.” Whether it was from the unexpected reminder of her duplicities, or the feeling of blood in her throat, the Flame Emperor winced.</p><p>As the students cleaned up their weapons, and excitedly discussed plans for the weekend, Edelgard was shaken from her musings by a lilting soprano voice. “Well, <em>that</em> was certainly something,” said Dorothea cheekily, placing her hand on Edelgard’s shoulder.</p><p>The princess moved away from the unanticipated contact and scoffed. “I have <em>no</em> idea what you are referring to”.</p><p>“Oh Edie!” the songstress teased. “That fight was downright…sensual! Even the monks aren’t as repressed as the two of you.”</p><p>Edelgard briefly considered whether murdering her friend in the training yard would compromise her position as house leader.</p><p>Dorothea’s face became serious. “Just tell her! It’s clear how you both feel, and all the Black Eagles know.” She smiled warmly. “We just want you and the Professor to be happy.”</p><p>“What’s going on with Edelgard and the Professor?” Caspar’s head popped into the princess’ vision.</p><p>"<em>Almost</em> all the Black Eagles,” sighed the diva. “We’re just having some girl talk, little bro.”</p><p>“Is Edelgard making everything about herself again? It’s like I was telling her the other day, if you want to change something, ya gotta just get out there and do it. No use crying over it.“</p><p>Edelgard stomped toward Caspar. “I have told you that I admire your work-ethic and drive, but I am this close”-she pinched her fingers together-“to having you sent on a one-way expedition to Morfis.”</p><p>“Now Edie, you know you’re only angry with Caspar because he’s right. No one gets in her own way quite like you. You should <em>tell her</em>.”</p><p>Edelgard began to blush furiously. Could she truly declare her feelings? She was the Emperor-she may have to marry for political purposes, and what if Byleth wanted to stay at Garreg Mach and what about-</p><p>“I know what you’re doing, Edie. ‘But I’m the Emperor! Whatever will my poor subjects do if I’m not cranky all the time?’” The songstress curled her arm around the princess and smiled. “Relax. I can’t believe I have to tell you this, but you’re quite the catch.”</p><p>Edelgard gave Dorothea a heartfelt smile, before she began to frown. “All right, what do you want from me?”</p><p>Dorothea put her hand to her forehead in mock outrage. “My dear Lady Edelgard, you wound this delicate maiden with such <em>vile</em> slander! Must you nobles trample this poor commoner yet again?” When Edelgard remained stone-faced, Dorothea sighed. “Fine. You win. Ingrid needs our help.”</p><p>“Ingrid? Is she all right?”</p><p>“Her father’s pressuring her into marrying again. The noble’s a merchant who worked his way into the Faerghus royal court, and wants her Crest to prop up his claims to nobility.” Dorothea looked at Edelgard and laughed. “I knew that’d perk your ears right up. Count Galatea’s putting a lot of pressure on her, and the Professor and I…offered to investigate.”</p><p>“There’s more to the story here, isn’t there?’</p><p>The diva sighed. “I’ve…had dealings with this suitor in the past. He tried to…court me back when I was at Mittelfrank.” There was a look of great pain on the singer’s face. “I’ve heard lots of rumors that his money is dirty, but what really bothers me is…” She looked away. “I’ve dealt with many…unpleasant people in my life. Let’s just say he felt his gifts entitled him to a familiarity he didn’t deserve.”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head, disgusted by what her friend had to endure. “Dorothea-“</p><p>“This isn’t about me. It’s about Ingrid. You want to know how bad she’s hurting? When I told her he was an unscrupulous creep, our friend, the honorable knight, said she still had to consider it.” Dorothea looked as angry as Edelgard had ever seen her. “She said it was for the ‘sake of her family.’ How could a family ask that of their daughter?”</p><p>
  <em>When Agnes failed to show up for El’s usual bedtime story, the princess tramped through the hallways of the palace. El was always a strong-willed child, bordering on bossy, and she marched into Agnes’ room, eager to set her straight. When El found her sibling crying over a letter on her desk, she quickly ran to her beloved sister. If there was one thing El could not stand, it was the sight of someone she loved in pain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Aggie-?” said El hesitantly. “What’s wrong?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes looked up from her letter, hastily wiping the tears away from her eyes. “It’s…It’s nothing, El. I’m sorry I forgot about finishing our story…” She sniffed a few times, smile utterly unconvincing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El put her hands on her hips, and looked up at her sibling crossly. “What did you tell me? We never keep secrets from each other! You promised!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes smiled sadly. “You’re right, El. I’m sorry.” Her trembling hands betrayed a deep agitation. “There’s a… boy, and we like each other. A lot. But he’s not ‘suitable’ for someone from my position, and…I was told to end it. I was writing a letter saying…saying we can’t see each other again.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El frowned. “But if you two really like each other, why can’t you? In the stories you read me, if people love each other enough, anything is possible!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Not always,” said Agnes with a frown. “Sometimes, even if you love someone very, very much, life still…” She trailed off, and covered her eyes with her hands.</em>
</p><p>“House Galatea is concerned with the survival of their very name,” said Edelgard sadly. “This…obsession. With titles and duties and bloodlines… It is madness, and the suffering it has caused is incalculable.” She looked at the entrance to the training arena, where Hubert was foiling Monica’s plans to creep closer to the princess. Perhaps it would be good to escape Garreg Mach and Monica for a while. “I’ll round up the Eagles,” said Edelgard firmly. “Let’s help our friend.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the Eagles marched back toward the monastery, Ingrid was deeply shaken. “I…knew you had spoken poorly of him, Dorothea, but trading women! It’s…despicable!” The pegasus knight had a deep sense of justice, and had taken the revelations about her suitor’s true character very hard. She had been fuming for hours.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” said Dorothea confidently. “With this much evidence, your father will have no choice but to listen.”</p><p>Sylvain had been riding ahead, but slowed his horse down to take part in the conversation. His usual easy-going temperament was replaced by a foul look. “A guy like this in the Faerghus court? What is the Kingdom coming to?” He snuck a quick glance at Ingrid. “I hope he tries something. If he wants a Crest so badly…” He gripped the Lance of Ruin tightly in his hand. “I’d be glad to show him mine.”</p><p>“It’s-it’s not just in Faerghus.” Marianne’s quiet voice startled the group. “Ignatz was telling me the Golden Deer stopped Count Gloucester’s men from…um…” She paused for a moment, deeply upset. “From attacking… merchants selling to Count Riegan.”</p><p>“Lorenz’s father? Is anything being done?” Ingrid was utterly horrified. The knight lived in a world where evil was punished, and good was rewarded. The idea that powerful man like Count Gloucester could commit such brazen misdeeds without penalty was an affront to everything she believed in.</p><p>“The Alliance is…prone to in-fighting, by the nature of its government.” Edelgard shook her head. “Nobles, squabbling amongst one another for control, while innocents pay the price…It is not that different from the Empire.”</p><p>Marianne began to fiddle with her hands nervously. “My adoptive father… is ambitious. With my Crest and the-the problems for Ordelia and Riegan…” She looked down, distraught. “He sees me as…as a chance to-”<br/>
<br/>
Ingrid stopped, and put her hand on Marianne’s shoulder. “We’re going to help you, Marianne,” she said firmly. “It’s like Edelgard was telling me the other day,” she turned to the princess and smiled. “…Even with your Crest, you deserve to make your own choices, and your friends will help you.” She gave Marianne an encouraging nod. “Besides, I need you…Who else could I trust to help take care of my pegasus?”</p><p>Marianne smiled and began to look downward. As Edelgard looked around, she saw Bernadetta, Flayn, and Petra talking, Hubert and Ferdinand squabbling....Many of the Black Eagles had seen the worst of humanity. Greed, violence, abuse-it had affected all of them to one degree or another. But thanks to Professor Byleth…they had come together. Found others-people they could trust. People who could understand.</p><p>Edelgard, who had thought her heart forever closed, had finally discovered a place where she belonged. The princess had many titles and achievements, but as she watched the Eagles laugh and bicker, she realized an important truth. The simple bonds of friendship she had forged with her wonderful, maddening, infuriating classmates had truly fulfilled her.</p><p>She was so happy, she almost missed the arrow whizzing toward Dorothea’s head.</p><p>In a flash, the princess pulled a shocked Dorothea out of the way. Petra, who had the keenest senses in the Eagles, sounded the alarm, and the class sprang into action. Byleth had feared an ambush, due to the terrain, and the Eagles had been carrying their weapons with them. As the class collected themselves, the merchant they had been investigating appeared.</p><p>“You nosy little brats,” he snarled. He turned to the savage mercenaries surrounding him. “Kill all of them, except for the girl. She’s <em>mine</em>.”</p><p>The Eagles were easy targets, trapped in a narrow strip of land between two treelines. “Sylvain, Ferdinand!” called Byleth, “Charge forward and buy us some time!”</p><p>The two cavaliers rushed to the front, their spears making quick work of the merchant’s vanguard. Sylvain was a force, the eerie red glow of his lance soon matched by splatters of blood. There was an anger and righteous fury with which he attacked that was frightening to witness. The unsettling power of his relic weapon was matched by the troubled look in his eyes.</p><p>Bernadetta and Petra were protecting the backline, firing arrow after arrow into the trees. The screams of pain were proof of the two archers’ proficiency with the bow. However, many of the other Eagles were limited in what they could accomplish, and they were beginning to be overwhelmed by sheer numbers.</p><p>Edelgard raised her arm to throw a handax at one of the enemies, when she experienced a sharp, cutting pain deep in her skull. She fell to her knees, as shadowy visions of her classmates danced in front of her eyes. Color seemed to drain from the world as her friends stood motionless. Ingrid was falling off her pegasus, a javelin buried in her leg. Caspar was screaming as a mage’s spell hit him in the face. Edelgard gripped the sides of her head as the pain became overwhelming.</p><p>She looked down, and saw an arrow buried in her chest. The princess yelled, not in discomfort, but in surprise. There was no pain. <em>Am I dying?</em> She hesitantly reached out and touched the shaft of the projectile, only for it to vanish. Suddenly, there was a sensation of falling, and light and movement returned to the world.</p><p>Edelgard was standing again, somehow. She turned and saw Byleth push Caspar out of the way, before whipping the Sword of the Creator at the mercenary about to attack Ingrid. It was as if Byleth knew what was coming. Edelgard had forgotten the chaos of battle surrounding her, weapon hanging loosely at her side. <em>How-?</em> was all the princess could think before she saw her teacher hurtling toward her at breakneck speed.</p><p>“Edelgard!” she screamed, a look of terror in her eyes. She leapt toward the princess, sending them both tumbling to the earth. Edelgard gasped, the wind knocked out of her lungs, before looking up at her teacher’s blue eyes. Byleth’s right hand was resting on Edelgard’s face.</p><p>“Are you all right?!” Byleth’s voice was panicked, desperate emotion dripping though every word. She did not sound like the stoic, detached woman the Black Eagles knew so well. She sounded… <em>human</em>. It was the voice of a woman terrified of losing a person she…</p><p>Byleth moved slightly, and began to wince. The princess looked, and buried in her professor’s left arm was the arrow that had been meant for Edelgard’s chest. Her lilac eyes gazed up with tenderness. “It seems you’ve saved me again, my teacher.”</p><p>Byleth smiled, “I made you a promise.” She winked with a shocking charisma at Edelgard, only to flinch in pain from the slight movement. That subtle motion made the princess realize that the object of her affections was now lying prone on top of her, in the midst of battle. She quickly surveyed the surrounding turmoil.</p><p>“My teacher, allow me to return the favor.” Byleth eased to the side, allowing Edelgard to stand. She turned to Ingrid, Petra, and Dorothea, and gestured toward the trader who was the source of this violence. “If we eliminate the mercenary’s paycheck, they have nothing to fight for.” The women’s faces were determined, and they followed Edelgard’s charge.</p><p>Ferdinand was having little trouble, skillfully parrying two sword fighters at the same time with his lance. Sylvain, however, had become sloppy in his rage, with long, deliberate swipes at the head of the mercenary group. As the Lance of Ruin flew over the captain’s head, the man drove his sword between Sylvain’s black armor plating, causing the noble to tumble off his horse, and to the ground.</p><p>As the bandit raised his sword above Sylvain’s head, Ingrid launched a javelin at the man with incredible force. It hit the enemy directly in the chest, and the Crest-powered blow sent the man’s now lifeless body flying. Ingrid grabbed Sylvain and pulled him to his feet. “Don’t ever…do that to me again,” she said in an unsteady voice.</p><p>Sylvain ran his hand through his vibrant red mane. “Hey, I was just trying to stop the guy from kidnapping you! I can’t help it if you’re-“ He stopped, and stared at Ingrid, as if coming to a profound realization, before looking away, his face’s color now a match for his hair.</p><p>“Close your mouth, Sylvain, a bug’s going to fly in,” said Ingrid with a sigh. “Now, help us finish this creep off, huh?” Sylvain nodded, and the two Faerghus nobles quickly joined the rest of the group.</p><p>The merchant had realized how precarious his position had become, and began calling reinforcements desperately toward himself, shouting ever-increasing promises of gold for his protection.</p><p>Edelgard and Petra were tempests of destruction, and before long, many of the merchant’s men determined their lives were more valuable than any reward. Dorothea was walking toward her former patron, a resolute expression on her stunning face. When the merchant got a better glimpse of the former diva, he looked at her with disgust.</p><p>“Is that you, Arnault?” He sneered at her. “I had heard you’d gotten into the Officer’s Academy…Which noble did you cozy up with, you little tease?” He fired a spell at the songstress, which she deflected with a swipe of her hand. “The problem is that you never understood your place…I gave you gifts, money…everything a little tart like you could ask for…and you still thought you were better than me.”</p><p>Dorothea gave him a vicious glare. “I am better than you, pig.”</p><p>The noble began to laugh uproariously. “Fine words, coming from guttertrash like you. How long have you got before your pretty little face starts to show some wrinkles? You’ll be back to begging on the street, right where you belong!”</p><p>He pulled a dagger from his pocket and flung it desperately at his opponent. Petra closed the gap with incredible speed, her sword blocking the projectile. She looked at the now defenseless man in disgust. “You will not be talking about my friend that way any more!” She turned to Dorothea and shook her head. “He is not being worth your time. You will… always be beautiful.”</p><p>Dorothea’s eyes glistened, as she looked at the Brigid princess. “Thank you, Petra.” The singer exhaled, as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.</p><p>While Petra and Dorothea were talking, Edelgard had marched toward the source of the ambush, and knocked him to the ground with a shove. She stood over him, weapon raised. “You tried to hurt my friends. You <em>did</em> hurt my teacher.” She leaned over the man, a terrifying look on her face. “They are different from you and me…They are good people, and I…I am not.”</p><p>“I don’t care!” yelled the petrified noble.</p><p>“Oh, but you should…” She whispered, as she leaned down and cupped his chin. “They are what ground me. They keep my ruthlessness and ambition from overwhelming me.” Her eyes were frighteningly cold. “If you had accomplished your goal...killed my friends...there would be nowhere you could hide from me. And when I found you…” She shook her head. “You would <em>pray </em>for death.”</p><p>The princess stood, and walked toward Ingrid and Sylvain. The pegasus knight looked at the cowering man in disgust. “What should we do with him?”</p><p>“As much as I’d like to give him what he deserves, there’s no reason to bother.” The Gautier heir glared at the wretch. “We’ll tell Dimitri. The evidence we have is enough to ruin his standing in court and business…He isn’t going to have an easy time of it.”</p><p>Ingrid sighed. “Neither is my father, when he finds out about this…”</p><p>Byleth’s hesitant steps drew the students’ attention. The mercenary gingerly walked forward, a portion of the arrow’s shaft still buried deep in her shoulder. Her face was pale, but otherwise there was little outward reaction to her injury. “My teacher, you need to rest! Where’s Linhardt…” The princess gently forced Byleth to sit, and began fussing over the wound.</p><p>Edelgard was no stranger to battlefield injuries, and with Garreg Mach still a day’s journey away, leaving the arrow in her arm risked infection. She looked at her teacher regretfully. “I’m going to have to pull the arrowhead out…It’s going to be painful…”</p><p>Byleth nodded calmly. “Do what you must, Edelgard.” She slowed her breathing, and stared forward with a stoic expression. The princess sighed, and on the count of three, forcefully yanked the arrowhead out. Byleth emitted a deep breath, but her face showed no traces of discomfort.</p><p>The teacher turned to her student calmly, as the wound began to bleed. “We haven’t practiced much faith magic with you, Edelgard…This will be a good opportunity.”</p><p>Edelgard blanched. Faith magic, by its very nature, required a calmness and serenity that the princess lacked. One had to trust, and accept one’s own place in the universe, their powerlessness, to properly wield it. Whether it was religious students like Mercedes, or aesthetics like Linhardt, faith magic depended on the mage’s ability to relinquish control. It was everything Edelgard opposed, everything she had resolved to never feel again.</p><p>She looked at her teacher sadly. “Professor, I’ll call Dorothea, she’s-“</p><p>Byleth grabbed Edelgard’s wrist and squeezed it firmly. “I know you’re nervous, and afraid of failing. It’s okay.” She smiled at her student. “Focus on something that makes you calm…that’s what helps me.”</p><p>Edelgard closed her eyes, and breathed deeply. What made her calm-bergamot tea? The breeze on her face? She opened her eyes. Not even a flicker of light could be seen. She felt Byleth’s hands in her own, and suddenly azure eyes flashed before her. She had her talisman.</p><p>As she visualized those blue orbs, thought of the sense of comfort they gave her, she felt a tingling on her fingertips. Edelgard looked down, and her hands were glowing with a beautiful, unearthly light. “Very good, Edelgard…” said Byleth serenely.</p><p>Edelgard moved her hand over Byleth’s wound, and the skin began to heal itself. However, a rough scar was left on the mercenary’s shoulder, one that was impossible to ignore. Edelgard bit her lip. “I’m sorry, my teacher. I tried to heal it as best I could but-“</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “I’m proud of it. When I got my first really bad scar, Papa told me that a mark from saving people is more beautiful than all the nice clothing in the world.” She looked at the blemish on her shoulder fondly. “Every time I look at this, I’ll know that I protected you.” She began to blush. “That makes me happy.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Upon the return of the Black Eagles to Garreg Mach, Ingrid had immediately left, informing the group she needed to discuss the situation with her father. Two days later, she had returned, a burden clearly lifted from her shoulders, Galatean relic weapon in her hands. The only person who appeared more relieved was Sylvain, who had flittered aimlessly around the monastery in Ingrid’s absence.</p><p>“The resolve is back in your eyes, Ingrid,” said Edelgard approvingly, as they sat for tea. “I’d never seen you so…hesitant, as before that mission.”</p><p>Ingrid smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. I must admit, I was so afraid of upsetting my father with the news, but he was even more irate than I was.” She watched a pegasus knight fly overhead with admiration. “I do feel resolved. The fact that I was considering compromising my morals for money....I know now what I must do. I’m going to find a way to….what are you always saying?”</p><p>Edelgard held her teacup and smiled. “Cut your own path.”</p><p>Ingrid nodded. “The Eagles supported me, my father believes in me…it was so affirming.” Abruptly, her face became serious. “I’ve been so focused on my own pain about Glenn, and knighthood and my future, I never considered the pain it has caused my father. To watch your daughter suffer… It must be a dreadful torment.”</p><p>Edelgard’s mind flashed back to her own father, and those awful days when he was forced to watch his daughter be vivisected. Edelgard would silently plead with her father, her hero, to save her from the agony, but he would be unable to meet her terrified eyes. She loved her father beyond words, but there was a hidden portion of the princess that felt forever betrayed by his weakness.</p><p>“I hadn’t fully realized that pain until the Professor was hurt,” murmured Edelgard softly. “I had an…experience during the battle.” She waved her hand as Ingrid looked at her with curiosity. “You know I’m not one for hysterics or sentimentality.” Ingrid nodded and chuckled at her friend’s words. “I guess you could call it a near-death experience…whatever it was, it taught me something.”</p><p>“What did you realize?”</p><p>“All of you have become…important to me,” said the princess quietly. “And I need to….let you know.”</p><p>Ingrid gave her friend a significant look. “Does this mean you’re going to…?”</p><p>“Yes,” said Edelgard firmly. “I’m going to tell Professor Byleth.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You'll note I took some liberties with this mission, because 1) I thought an ambush was more dramatically interesting, and 2) I could focus on Ingrid, Edelgard and Dorothea reaffirming their self-worth, rather than explaining why the Black Eagles are wandering around an active volcano.</p><p>I am taking the fact that the Black Eagles stuck together over the five year timeskip and *running* with it. </p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Fathers and Daughters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh Edel, I just <em>love </em>getting to spend time with you!” Monica’s arm grazed the princess, causing Edelgard to recoil. She had been summoned for another of the imposter's pointless library “meetings,” and had completely lost patience with her tormentor’s antics. By now, it was clear that Monica's sole purpose was to be a disruptive force at Garreg Mach. Edelgard was not amused.</p><p>“Call me Edel again, and I’ll remove your head from your neck,” growled the Flame Emperor, hand twitching.</p><p>“Whatever you say, <em>Edel</em>.”</p><p>Edelgard idly wondered what the meeting would be about this time. Monica’s previous plan had involved an elaborate assassination of Flayn, who Monica was convinced was spying on her. Edelgard had flatly dismissed the idea, which had been replaced by an even more outlandish scheme to murder Professor Hanneman.</p><p>All of Monica’s plots, in the end, were about senseless carnage and violence, usually relying on a vast overestimation of her own abilities. Edelgard had initially hoped to extract valuable information from the loose-lipped girl, but it had become quite evident that Thales and Solon considered Monica an unimportant pawn.</p><p>As they entered the seemingly empty library, Monica turned to Edelgard and snickered. “I’ve got a great new idea, Edel…you’re going to-“</p><p>“Quiet.” Something was wrong. Edelgard’s eyes scanned the rows of dusty tomes, looking for what was out of place. Discovery at this point would be disastrous. Until she obtained support from Bergliez's military forces, she would be dependent on Thales for any military campaign. The princess suspected Monica's presence was a failsafe to keep her under this control, which chafed at the princess daily. She finally discovered the source of her unease, eyes closed and head resting against a stack of books. A gloved hand shook her fellow Black Eagle awake.</p><p>Linhardt rubbed his eyes in annoyance. “Must you disturb me? I’ve been very intrigued by these texts on the Adrestian Empire’s genealogy. Did you know that-“</p><p>“I think I would be aware of my own family’s history, Linhardt.” Edelgard’s foot tapped on the floor rapidly. “And isn’t that section prohibited to students?”</p><p>“Yet another individual standing in the way of the pursuit of knowledge,” sighed the young noble. He stood, and began to stretch his arms out sluggishly. “Tomas hasn’t been here much lately, so why should I-“</p><p>“You should care because Monica and I reserved the library for a private study session. Now get going, or I’ll tell Professor Byleth about that place in the stables you sleep in when you’re cutting class.”</p><p>The young scholar sighed. “Very well. But I just don’t understand why Monica needs your help so much…She’s-“</p><p>“Oh, Edel and I are <em>very, very</em> close,” grinned the demon as she appeared over Edelgard’s shoulder. “Why can’t you just let two old friends catch up?” It took every bit of resolve the Flame Emperor possessed to stop herself from choking the life out of Monica.</p><p>Linhardt shook his head, muttering something under his breath as he left the library. The princess watched him go with regret, and not a little concern. He was smart…quite possibly the most intelligent student at the Officer’s Academy. Under all his laziness, his sharp mind could cut through falsehoods like no one she had ever encountered. If he began to suspect…</p><p>As they sat at the table, Edelgard scowled. “I take it Solon won’t be joining us?”</p><p>“I don’t think so. He said he’s got some ‘project’ he’s been working on.” Monica stuck her tongue out in annoyance. “They never tell me <em>anything</em>! It’s all ‘kill this guy, Kronya!’ ‘stab her, Kronya!’ It’s like they don’t trust me or something!”</p><p>Edelgard rolled her eyes. “I wonder why.”</p><p>“Don’t laugh at me, you little snot, or I’ll-“ Kronya whipped a dagger out of her pocket with terrifying ease, and held it to her classmate’s throat.</p><p>Edelgard refused to flinch, gaze remaining locked on Kronya’s unsettling red eyes. “Do what? Kill the weapon Thales and Solon spent years creating? Go ahead, stab me.” She pushed down Kronya’s dagger with her arm. “I’m sure Thales would be <em>very </em>understanding.”</p><p>Terror flashed across the would-be assassin's face. She backed away for a moment, looking unusually vulnerable, until a hateful glare reemerged. “You can’t scare me! I’m important, Thales told me so.” There was a madness and agitation in Kronya’s cheerful voice that was unsettling to witness. </p><p>"No matter how many of us they made, I knew I was going to make Thales proud of me! They put us all in a room, and left a knife on the floor. Thales said the winner got to see the sun... and I walked out. Because I'm the best!” Kronya leaned toward Edelgard with an ugly sneer. “I’m never going back into the dark, Edel…And if you try to stop me, I’ll kill every single one of your stupid friends… and I’ll make you watch.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>El screamed and thrashed in her restraints as the mage’s knife cut into her skin. “P-please...stop!” she screeched, voice raw from the terror and pain she felt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The mage’s hand was on her throat in an instant. “You kicked me, you little brat! Do you want to end up like your siblings?” He held the knife to the petrified girl’s throat. “Do you?!”</em>
</p><p><em>El slowly shook her head, a feeling of profound despair overwhelming her. Where was Father? </em> <em>The door to the room opened, and El’s heart leapt. Father was here! Father was going to save her!</em></p><p>
  <em>Ionius shuffled slowly down the stairs, accompanied by Duke Aegir. El realized something was wrong immediately. The Emperor never walked so slowly, with his head down so low. Ionius always moved with a purpose, his stride demonstrating authority and dominance. There was a meekness in his appearance that made him almost unrecognizable. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“F-father?” El cried, a small flicker of hope in her heart. “Help me, please! They’re hurting me!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ionius did not say a word, and turned away from El’s gaze. Duke Aegir began to laugh uproariously, the jowls of his fat cheeks shaking. “Don’t you have something to say to your daughter?” When the Emperor failed to respond, Aegir slapped him in the face. “How does it feel? You tried to cut me out, after everything my family had done! To spit on the very name of Aegir! And now <strong>look at you</strong>!” </em>
</p><p><em>The Emperor's hands balled into fists, but he otherwise failed to respond. El felt something inside her shatter, as she watched her protector submit to this humiliation. Father could not help her. The Goddess could not help her. El was alone. </em> <em>The desolation that she felt well up inside her at that moment was more painful than any torment she had endured. She might escape this dungeon, and these chains, but the awful reality she had just learned would remain with her. She would be trapped in this terrible moment, always living in the shattered ruins of her faith, forever.</em></p><p>
  <em>Aegir sneered at the Emperor, hand placed mockingly on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’re going to take special care of her...would you like to know why we let her live?” Ionius failed to respond, only for Aegir to slap him again. “You’ll answer when spoken to.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"W-Why?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Because Arundel wanted a child who already had a Crest-and the other two were boys.” Aegir grinned in satisfaction. “They were useful test subjects…But a girl…A girl presented…possibilities.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Please…please don’t hurt El…” Ionius whispered. “She’s…all I have left.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aegir smiled deviously. “Of course not...I need her. Your daughter will be our puppet, a weapon to reunite Fódlan under the banner of the Empire.” He rubbed his fat hands together. “And once she does...my heir will be at just the proper age to take a wife. Emperor Aegir has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’ll…I’ll kill you for this, Ludwig.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, you won’t. And just for that, I’m going to make you see the look in your daughter’s eyes. You’re a failure, Ionius.” Aegir turned to the mage. “Continue.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As the mage advanced to El, she closed her eyes, and began to scream, “Fa-father-“</em>
</p><p>“-please!” Edelgard awoke with a start, gasping for air. The princess held her hands to her head, trying to block out the world, escape from the awful prison of her mind. After her frantic breathing began to slow, she paced in her room, attempting to work off the terror welling inside her. She looked out her window, and reached her hand out to feel the breeze. It tickled her bare fingers, sending a calming sensation flowing throughout her body. <em>Father…</em>Ingrid’s words the other day, along with Kronya’s threats, must have unsettled the princess more than she had realized. But there was nothing to be-</p><p>Edelgard’s lilac eyes settled on Byleth’s letter, sitting under her agreement with Count Bergliez to meet after the Battle of the Eagle and the Lion. Byleth had promised to protect her, to keep her safe…Was it too soon? Perhaps. But in that moment, Edelgard could not bear to face the burden of her memories alone.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The princess hesitantly crept through the hallway, careful to not wake the other nobles on the floor. She did not want to disturb Felix or Claude, for vastly different reasons. As she made her way downstairs, and out into the open air, the princess looked around rapidly. </p><p>The monastery at this hour was quiet, with only a few stray knights occasionally patrolling the darkness. Edelgard walked confidently toward her teacher’s room, knowing that none of the Knights of Seiros would be willing to confront the future Emperor on her nocturnal activities. Edelgard made her way to the door, and stopped.</p><p><em>Should I really bother her</em>? The princess’ anxiety rushed over her like a wave, as she twisted her hands into knots. <em>She’ll probably be annoyed. How could you be so clingy? </em>Edelgard breathed deeply, trying to dispel the lies her mind was telling her. <em>She made you a promise. It’s all right.</em> She began to fiddle with the clasp on her cloak, and pushed a loose strand of white hair off of her forehead. With trembling hands, she reached for the door…</p><p>“Edelgard?” came a quiet voice, from behind the princess. At the unexpected noise, she gave a small shout, hands covering her heart. When she turned, she saw Byleth, standing behind her with a concerned expression on her face. “Did something happen?”</p><p>“I…I’m so sorry to bother you again, my teacher…I just had-”</p><p>“Trouble sleeping?” Byleth frowned. “I was just finishing some paperwork.” She grabbed her student's hand, sending warmth flowing through Edelgard’s body. “Let’s go get some fresh air.”</p><p>The princess and the mercenary had taken a long loop around Garreg Mach, passing the greenhouse, the stables, and the graveyard. Neither woman spoke a word. Byleth’s easy, relaxed stride was only occasionally disturbed by quick glances in Edelgard’s direction. Seeing through her student’s cold exterior, Byleth reached out and gently squeezed the princess’ shoulder.</p><p>Edelgard had studied the object of her affections for many months, mentally cataloguing hundreds of little details. Each one made her fall more heavily in love with the strange woman who had tumbled into her life. When Byleth was posed a particularly challenging question in class, she would run a hand through her wild, untidy hair. When gardening, she would stick her tongue out in concentration when placing a seed in the soil. If nervous, she would fiddle with the medallion that sat on her neck. Each detail so perfectly…<em>Byleth</em>.</p><p>But the most important thing Edelgard had learned about her teacher, her wings, was that she communicated her emotions not through expression, but through touch and gesture. When excited, she would pump her fist; when disappointed, her head would shake vigorously. As Byleth had become more…<em>human</em>, this had only become more obvious. Now her teacher would laugh and stomp and even shout. It made Edelgard’s heart soar.</p><p>As they walked across the great bridge of the monastery, the princess stopped. The cathedral loomed over the two women, and the Flame Emperor was loath to venture any closer. Byleth sensed her friend’s agitation, and to Edelgard's gratitude, stopped and sat on one of the bridge’s pillars. For a long time, the two women waited in silence, watching the occasional bird or bat fly overhead in the darkness.</p><p>Finally, words crawled up and out of the princess, tearing and ripping through her cold exterior, revealing the vulnerable, lost soul underneath. “Have…have you ever felt a sort of…longing for the outdoors?”</p><p>Byleth laughed and shook her head. “I lived most of my life outside with Papa…sometimes, I just wanted to sleep in a bed.”</p><p>“I suppose everyone values what they lack…” smiled Edelgard knowingly. “I love the warmth of the sun, the feeling of a sweet breeze on my face…” She sighed, and trailed off, staring into the distance. A few minutes passed, as Edelgard’s loneliness and fear waged a brutal war in her mind. The battle was so intense, she was taken by surprise when Byleth squeezed her fingers tightly.</p><p>“Whatever happened, Edelgard,” she said with a small smile. “I’ll listen.”</p><p>The princess smiled at her teacher’s simple gesture of compassion. “Do you remember…what I told you the other night? About… my past?”</p><p>“Your siblings...”</p><p>“I love the breeze, but it always comes with a deep sense of regret. My siblings never had the chance to experience such simple pleasures. To lead the sort of life they deserved…an ordinary life.” Edelgard held her right hand to stop it from shaking. “We were…kept underground.”</p><p>Byleth’s head tilted in confusion. “Underground…I don’t…”</p><p>Edelgard leaned forward on the pillar, eyes vacant. “The dungeons under the palace…They wanted to endow our bodies with the power of a Major Crest.” Her already pale skin was extraordinarily white. “I inherited a Minor Crest of Seiros, from the Hresvelg bloodline. However, many of my siblings bore no Crest at all.”</p><p>Her teacher turned, and looked at the princess. “What did they…do?” Her voice was placid, but her hands were curled, her normally tranquil features marred with distress.</p><p>Edelgard glared at Byleth, as if daring her teacher to challenge her. A part of the princess expected Byleth to shake her head. To refuse to believe her. To cast Edelgard back into the darkness. “They wanted to create a peerless Emperor…one that could rule Fódlan. So they violated our bodies. Cut open our very flesh. All to bestow on us the power of a Major Crest.”</p><p>The mercenary put her hand to her mouth. “They…your siblings…”</p><p>“Sacrificed,” said Edelgard coldly. “And so many other innocents, who were used as test subjects, never even understanding what they were dying for.” She turned to Byleth, and threw out her arms. “And now here I stand! The proud fruit of that endeavor: <em>Edelgard von Hresvelg</em>!” The princess said her name with an astonishing hatred, disgust seeping into every word.</p><p>Byleth had been pacing while Edelgard revealed her most dangerous secret. As the princess concluded, the mercenary turned to Edelgard, an icy anger in her blue eyes. “Who?” Her hands gripped the Sword of the Creator. Edelgard simply shook her head and stared at the great expanse below. Byleth walked toward her, and grabbed her shoulder, forcing her student to turn and look. Her body were rigid, as if she was locked in combat with an invisible enemy. “<em>Who</em> did this to you, Edelgard?”</p><p>Edelgard felt her legs give way. She slid down, reclining against the pillar, before cradling her knees to her chest. “Duke Aegir, and his gaggle of nobles. They had the Empire under their thumbs…and my father, he tried to stop them…so….” Her hands were balled into fists, as a righteous fury overwhelmed her body. “So they made him watch.”</p><p>Byleth was pacing frantically, large eyes darting around in search of an untouchable enemy. “But your father…he was the Emperor…how could-?”</p><p>“My father was nothing but a puppet on a string by then…a figurehead.”</p><p>Byleth was used to dealing with problems directly. If there was an enemy in the way, she eliminated them. If someone was sad, she made them happy. Now, the mercenary was adrift, pulling at her hair with frustration, until she stopped and turned to her student.</p><p>“Aegir…but…”</p><p>Edelgard sighed. “Yes, Ferdinand and the parents of most of my classmates. I have never told them. How could I?” The princess shook her head despondently. “And what good would it do? Ferdinand is the best of us. Ruining his life won’t bring my family back.”</p><p>Byleth slumped down, and sat next to Edelgard. The teacher stared up at the stars, as if pleading for a sign from the heavens. Finally, she reached out and gripped her friend’s hand tightly, powerless against the uncaring cruelty of the universe. Edelgard turned and looked at her teacher. “There’s something I…must show you.” She hesitantly stood, a quiet resolve building on her face. “I’ve kept it hidden from you all this time…but…” She extended her arm. “This is the power of my second Crest.”</p><p>A shimmering purple color materialized from her fingertips, crossing and weaving until an intricate pattern formed. Byleth looked at the symbol and gasped. “The Crest of Flames…”</p><p>“When it manifested for me, I swore a silent oath.” There was no vulnerability in the princess' voice. No compassion. Only a quiet hatred that had grown for years, festered and eaten away at everything that had once been kind and gentle in Edelgard von Hresvelg. “For the sake of my family…and all those poor souls that were…traded for my existence. I will…” The princess looked repulsed.</p><p>Byleth stood, and walked toward the princess, grabbing her arms. “What will you do?”</p><p>“I will build a new world. One where such meaningless sacrifice is never again sanctioned.” The unquenchable fire that burned in Edelgard’s lilac eyes was that of a zealot. “As Emperor, I will change this world. I swear it.”</p><p>As soon as she finished speaking, Edelgard’s body deflated. Her shoulders slumped, and the strength she had just projected was replaced by a heartbreaking vulnerability. The princess gripped Byleth’s hands desperately, terrified that she would run away in fear and leave Edelgard alone. “Now you know what I am, my teacher…I’d…understand if you…”</p><p>Byleth looked at her student sadly for a moment, before shaking her head. “I’m not leaving you. I promise.” She grabbed Edelgard’s hand and gently guided her back to the floor of the bridge, before pulling the princess’ head onto her shoulder. Edelgard’s rapid breathing began to slow, as she gripped her teacher’s arm tightly. </p><p>Byleth turned to her and smiled. “Thank you for telling me.” She extended her own arm, and shimmering lines danced and weaved until they also formed the insignia of the Crest of Flames. She turned to her student and smiled. “Remember what you told me that day we were cooking with Ferdinand? How we will just have to be different together?”</p><p>Edelgard gave a small smile and nodded.</p><p>“Everything in my life was so…empty, before...” said Byleth sweetly. “And now I’m learning that I like cookies and cats and the smell of lilies and all these wonderful things…it’s like I was living in a world without color, and now I can see.” She smiled shyly and looked down. “Now when I think about my Crest, I won’t think about being alone, or different.” She began to blush. “I’ll think of you. You’re my heart, Edelgard.”</p><p>Edelgard and Byleth leaned toward each other, feeling an irresistible magnetic pull. It felt as if time itself had stopped, an invisible current dragging the two women together. Edelgard reached her hand toward Byleth’s face-</p><p>“Who is there? Reveal yourself!” A harsh male voice called from the bridge’s entryway. As Edelgard and Byleth turned in surprise, they could see a guard making his way down the path quickly. If they were found in this position… The only path was to retreat toward the cathedral. Luckily, the gate remained open at night, for monks or other believers who wished to offer worship. The two intruders crept behind a wall, waiting to see what the guard would do.</p><p>The knight planted himself at the entrance, and folded his hands. “There’s no way past me!” he yelled into the darkness. “Come out and we’ll handle this quickly.”</p><p>Edelgard sighed. “It appears we’re trapped, my teacher.” She turned to Byleth remorsefully. “It’s my fault you’re here, I’ll tell him that we-“</p><p>The older woman shook her head, a twinkle in her eye. “I have a different idea…” She gave Edelgard a massive grin. Byleth raised her hands to her mouth, took a deep breath, and called out in a haunting voice. “<em>Why have you come here?”</em></p><p>The knight gripped his spear tightly, head darting back and forth nervously. “S-show y-yourself! This…t-this is a trick!”</p><p>“<em>It is I…the Goddess. Why are you disturbing me?”</em> Byleth was shaking with silent laughter, as animated as the princess had ever seen her. She could barely believe this was the same woman who had failed to identify the taste of sugar months ago. The pure, visible joy on her teacher's face lit a flame in Edelgard.</p><p>The knight began to back up, jumping when he collided with the brick wall behind him. “I-I don’t believe you!” he said hesitantly.</p><p>Edelgard smiled and turned to her teacher. “Let me try.” She raised her hands to her mouth, and spoke in a deep growl. “<em>If you do not flee now, I shall rend the flesh from your bones!” </em>The women were forced to hold theirs hands to their mouths, in a desperate attempt to stifle their giggling.</p><p>The knight feigned bravery. “O-oh? And w-who are y-you?”</p><p>Edelgard leaned back, fully committing to her character. “<em>I am the ghost of Nemesis, and if you do not flee now…doom shall come to you!”</em></p><p>At this ridiculous statement, the cowardly knight turned and ran, metal armor clanking as the sound bounced off the walls of the cathedral. The timing was fortunate, because Byleth and Edelgard had completely lost control, and were doubled over, unable to retain their composure a second longer. </p><p>If any of the Black Eagles had seen the stoic professor or the distant house leader, they would have found them unrecognizable. It was as if all the laughter they had been denied for so many years was released at a single moment.</p><p>After they finally began to calm down, Byleth turned to her student, wiping a tear from her eye. “We should go.” The two women ran, the sounds of their joy echoing long after they had left the cathedral behind.</p><p>As they finally stopped outside the dormitories, they sat on the steps outside. Edelgard glanced at Byleth, causing her to giggle again. “I…I can’t believe you did that, my teacher!”</p><p>Byleth smiled warmly. “It was…a friend’s idea. She always gives me really good advice.”</p><p>“I’d like to thank this friend of yours…Do I know her?”</p><p>The mercenary shook her head. “No, but…she knows you. Sometimes, I talk to her about you, and the other Black Eagles.” Her eyes twinkled. “She calls you ‘the arrogant one,’ and is always worrying about you. You’re her favorite.”</p><p>“Well, tell your friend I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.” Edelgard looked away shyly. “I used to do silly impressions of all the nobles in court for my siblings…I hadn’t…since…” She laid her head on Byleth’s shoulder. “You told me earlier tonight that your life was empty before you met me…well, the same is true for me, my teacher. You’ve brought a… a light back into my life.”</p><p>For a long time, the two women leaned against one another, under the sparkling lights in the night sky. There was a feeling of deep peace and serenity that enveloped them both. Whatever happened, whatever horrors awaited Edelgard, this night would always exist. It was a night so perfect and wonderful it made Edelgard’s blackened heart sing. For just an instant, she had beaten destiny. For a precious moment, she was once again El.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard slept in late, utterly exhausted from her late-night adventure. After a quiet morning finishing some research for her class, she was disturbed by a rough, heavy knock. When she opened the door, the princess was surprised to find Jeralt standing in the entryway, with Byleth standing behind behind him. Both Eisners were weighed down with buckets, poles and other equipment.</p><p>“Jeralt…What brings you to-?”</p><p>Jeralt waved his hand. “We’re taking part in that fishing contest the monastery’s putting on for Flayn…By and I have a private spot we always go to, and we thought you’d like to come along.” Byleth waved excitedly from behind Jeralt's shoulder.</p><p>Edelgard fiddled with her hands nervously. “I…I am not sure how useful I would be, as-“</p><p>The knight gave a bark of laughter. “You clearly haven’t fished before, princess. Fishing’s all about relaxing and enjoying yourself, and occasionally… the fish interrupt.” His eyes exuded the same quiet gentleness as his daughter’s. “You’ll be good company, and that's all that matters.”</p><p>As the Eisners and the last of the Hresvelgs made their way outside the walls of Garreg Mach, they came to a gently moving river, nestled under the shade of a handful of sturdy oak trees. It was a bucolic scene, similar to the peaceful days that the princess dreamed of when her title weighed heavily on her soul. The two experienced anglers set up the equipment mindlessly, questioning the princess about minor pleasantries, recounting Jeralt’s latest mission and the like. Edelgard stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do, until Jeralt handed her a rod with a smile.</p><p>As the two Eisners baited their lines, the princess reached behind her head, trying to mimic Byleth’s easy casting, only to feel her momentum stop. She turned, and found that she had hooked her line on a small brush behind her. Jeralt turned at the noise, and smiled at her fondly. “Sorry, Edelgard,” he chuckled to himself. “That was mean of me, just expecting you to pick that up somehow.”</p><p>The princess tried to hide her reddened cheeks with her hands. She was outwardly confident, but that external poise was not about pride. Instead, it was born out of her deep fear of rejection. It was a means to set herself apart, avoid the awful and terrible flaws of being human. Of course, Jeralt and Byleth could see right through it, to the lost girl underneath. Jeralt patted the ground next to him. “Hop over here, I’ll show you.” Edelgard tentatively made her way over, and Jeralt reached out to grab her hands. The princess unconsciously recoiled, arms flailing.</p><p>“I apologize. I…startle easily.”</p><p>Jeralt looked at the princess sympathetically, an awful dawning comprehension on the experienced mercenary's face. “No worries. Let’s try that again, shall we?” He touched her hand lightly, with a kindness that was incongruous with his rough appearance. “Now, you’re going to want to use your wrists, not your arm. Just a simple easy flick….okay?”</p><p>The princess pulled back, and the line flew out into the deep blue of the river with a satisfying *<em>plop</em>!* Edelgard turned and looked at her companions excitedly, pointing at her small victory. “I did it!” She watched her line, drifting absently on the water’s surface. “So…what do I do now?” Byleth and Jeralt gave each other a knowing smile.</p><p>“Now…” said Jeralt. “We wait.”</p><p>They loitered on the green banks of the river for hours, Jeralt regaling the two women with stories from his mercenary days. Byleth turned to her father after a particularly thrilling tale, confusion on her face. “Where are you from originally, Papa?”</p><p>He put his hand behind his head, and began to laugh nervously. “I’ve never really told you, have I? I’m from Faerghus, originally. Used to be a squire in Fraldarius territory.”</p><p>Edelgard's interest was piqued. “Why did you leave? Your talents would always be in deep demand in the Kingdom.” She hesitated momentarily. “And forgive me for saying this, but for a Knight of Seiros, you’ve never struck me as particularly…pious.”</p><p>Jeralt slapped the princess on the back, clearly amused. “See, this is why I like you, Edelgard. You just say what you mean…Goddess, it’s refreshing.” He turned and looked out over the gently rolling water. “A long, long time ago, I believed in all that honor and loyalty crap they spout over in the Kingdom. I was going to be the greatest knight they’d ever seen.”</p><p>Byleth put a hand to her chin. “What changed, Papa?”</p><p>“The lord I worked under sent me out to assist one of his buddies, help him put down a peasant rebellion. Turns out, the noble had been using his position to fill his own pockets." Jeralt's face darkened. "The peasants were starving to death, while fighting knights with hoes and sickles. It was a slaughter. They realized they were going to die either way, and decided they’d prefer the quick death of our blades.”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “How repulsive.”</p><p>“That’s the world we live in,” said Jeralt grimly. “But like you, I couldn’t handle it. All those oaths about protecting the commoners didn’t mean a damn thing when they stood in the way of what a noble wanted.” He scowled with disgust. “I fight to save people, not to defend a title and a coat of arms. Being a mercenary let me choose my jobs, and help the ordinary people who needed it. And then I met Rhea, and Sitri…” He trailed off, lost in his memories.</p><p>Byleth pulled another fish out of the water, before giving her father a confused look. “Sitri?”</p><p>“That…was your mother’s name.” muttered the knight, clearly eager to avoid delving further into that topic. He turned to Edelgard. “How’s your old man, anyway? I met him a long, long time ago…helped him clean up a big mess in Hyrm territory. He was an impressive guy.”</p><p>“My father is very ill,” she said flatly. “His power was stripped from him, leaving him unable to protect those he cared for.” She brushed dirt off of her academy uniform. “As his successor, I have sworn a vow to reclaim what was taken from him.”</p><p>Jeralt turned, and cast a line out to the river. “And…would you happen to be one of those people he failed to protect, Edelgard?” He asked the question quietly, a father’s concern evident in every word.</p><p>“Yes.” The princess’ shoulders slumped. “I love him more than anything. But I have…avoided him since. I am nothing but a living reminder of all he has lost.”</p><p>“I see,” said the mercenary thoughtfully. “Can I give you some advice, as a father?”</p><p>Byleth looked up from her fishing pool nervously. “Papa-“</p><p>“It’s fine,” muttered Edelgard. “I value Jeralt’s counsel.”</p><p>“I know you can’t help but feel hurt, and you have every right to, but trust me…” He turned and rustled Byleth’s messy hair. “The mistakes I’ve made, the pain I’ve caused my daughter…it eats me alive. Your dad needs you, probably even more than you need him.”</p><p>“Jeralt-“ Edelgard’s voice began to falter.</p><p>He shook his head. “Trust me, he’s got a lot to be proud of-he raised a kid like you. Girl in your position? It’d be very easy to turn a blind eye to the problems in Fódlan.” The knight smirked as he cast his line. “Maybe with people like you and By, there’s some hope for this continent after all.”</p><p>Edelgard turned to look out at the river, absorbing Jeralt’s words, until she felt a tug on her line. She turned to her companions in a panic. “Wh-what do I do?”</p><p>Jeralt approached her, projecting an aura of calm. “Make sure you give it some slack. Don’t let the line get too tight.” He placed a hand on the princess’ shoulder. “Now…slowly reel it in.”</p><p>Edelgard fought for a moment, trying to fight her catch with a small fraction of her prodigious strength. Her rod nearly broke from the tension. Byleth's arm gently grazed Edelgard's and the princess felt herself relax, as she began to breathe deeply, following Jeralt's advice. After a few rounds, the fish began to tire, and she slowly maneuvered her catch to the shore. It was a relatively small white trout, but the princess held her conquest aloft as if it were the banner of the Adrestian Empire.</p><p>Byleth clapped excitedly. “Nice work, Edelgard! I knew you could do it!”</p><p>Edelgard began to blush, and looked sheepishly at the buckets of fish her companions had caught. “Thank you both…to have this chance-“</p><p>“First rule of fishing: No sentimental crap.” Jeralt wagged his finger teasingly. “After everything you’ve done for By, it’s my pleasure.” He turned to Byleth and smiled. “Hey, I think we’re going to need another bucket, kid. Could you grab one from my room?”</p><p>Byleth nodded, and ran through the woods, back up toward Garreg Mach. For a while, Edelgard and Jeralt lazed in the comforting warmth of the sun, until Jeralt abruptly spoke. “So, when are you going to tell her?”</p><p>Edelgard froze, dropping the handle of her fishing pole. “T-tell…tell her what, Jeralt?”</p><p>“Oh, come on!” Jeralt laughed heartily. “I’ve never seen two people more crazy about each other than you and By. I’m old, but I haven’t lost all my senses.” He chuckled. “You think she invites all her students out on fishing trips with her dad?”</p><p>“I…apologize. As her student, it would be…”</p><p>“Okay, first of all, I’m the expert on inappropriate romances, and you’re nowhere close to the crap I pulled. Trust me.” His laughter was contagious, causing even the princess to give a small smile. “But listen, I’ve got to tell you something, before she comes back.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded, trying to hide her rapidly beating heart.</p><p>“When By was born, I had lost Sitri…and some…things happened. As a baby, she never cried, never laughed.” He put his hands to his forehead, deeply agonized. “I kept thinking, ‘Goddess, what did I do to this kid? What should I do?’ I’d be sick every night, terrified about what was going to happen to her.”</p><p>“She’s incredibly kind, Jeralt. You should be proud of the daughter you’ve raised-“</p><p>The knight’s head whirled toward Edelgard. “You don’t get it. I’d bring her on missions, once she was old enough, and she’d kill people without blinking. She’d just clean off her blade, and ask what I wanted her to do next. She never laughed, or complained, or...or anything.” He slapped his hands together. “I didn’t know what to do…it was a nightmare.”</p><p>The princess thought back to the growth that her teacher had showed over the past few months. She could only imagine the anguish the knight must have felt.</p><p>“And then, she met you, that night in Remire. And now she’s got friends, and hobbies, and she’s head-over-heels for you, even if she doesn’t realize it,” said Jeralt fondly. “She told me a <em>joke</em>, Edelgard. Do you know how many years I prayed to the Goddess for my daughter to smile, just once? To see her laugh and be happy? That’s all a father ever wants.”</p><p>“Seeing her happy is all I want, as well. It's what she deserves,” said Edelgard, eyes downcast. “But my world is ugly, and cruel, and complicated. If someone that pure walks my path, and I take the light out of her eyes? I couldn’t live with myself.”</p><p>Jeralt shook his head. “Trust me. You’re the reason that light exists in the first place. Just...take care of her, all right?” He shrugged his shoulders. “I think you both need each other. If I hadn’t found Sitri, I’d have drowned myself in booze.” He gave the princess a sly smile. “They still holding that dance in a few months?”</p><p>She nodded, quickly catching on to the knight’s meaning.</p><p>“I told you before, kid. Life comes at you fast. Don’t let the ugly stuff keep you from something wonderful.” He looked up at the peaceful blue sky overhead. “It's like Sitri used to say-a flower’s only beautiful because it doesn’t last forever.”</p><p>At these words, Byleth arrived, bucket clanging against her leg. "I got it, Papa." Her head moved back and forth between her student and her father. "What were you talking about?"</p><p>"Just our different responsibilities, and protecting those we love." Edelgard met Jeralt's warm smile with one of her own. "In the end, that's all that matters."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Edelgard's conversation with her father is heartbreaking, and I wanted to dig into her complicated feelings as we approach the coronation, while also fitting in the Jeralt/Byleth/Edelgard fishing trip I've wanted to do for a while.</p><p>I was looking through Kronya's dialogue, and it kinda struck me how she has a deep desire to please/not disappoint Thales. I thought it made an interesting touchpoint in a chapter about Edelgard and Byleth's relationships with their fathers.</p><p>Aegir making Ionius watch as his kids were tortured to death was one of the most repulsive things I've ever seen in a video game. Shout-out to Bellarch on reddit, who originally came up with the “Aegir wanted Edelgard as Ferdinand’s trophy wife” idea.</p><p>Edelgard canonically being disappointed when Byleth doesn’t like her impression of Hubert might be my favorite dialogue in the game.</p><p>Thanks for the comments, kudos and views, and please stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Gronder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the Black Eagles made the long trek to Gronder Field, Edelgard could not help distancing herself from her classmates. Some of the students, such as Ferdinand, were eagerly awaiting the opportunity for glory. Some, like Ingrid, anticipated the challenge. Peaceful students like Dorothea and Marianne just wanted it over. None of these feelings applied to the Imperial princess.</p><p>If all went well, this battle would demonstrate Edelgard’s ability to command a large military force. After the battle, she had scheduled a meeting with Count Bergliez, the Empire’s Minister of Military Affairs. Edelgard’s plan to take back Adrestia required Bergliez’s support, so a strong performance today would be crucial.</p><p>Hubert, understanding his liege’s worry, had allowed her the privacy of her own thoughts, for which she was exceedingly grateful. Gronder was the breadbasket of the Empire, and the lush fields and verdant pastures were a welcome respite for the troubled leader. As she quietly enjoyed the happy calls of a pair of songbirds, she was pulled from her daydreams by a nervous tug on her academy uniform.</p><p>The princess had never handled being surprised well, after the awful events of her childhood, and she spun around frantically. This, in turn, terrified the small, purple-haired student who had intruded upon Edelgard’s personal space. Bernadetta cowered, hands raised in a defensive position. The girl’s arms moved up instinctually, mechanically, the actions of a victim who had futilely attempted to defend herself over and over again.</p><p>Edelgard understood the terror and desperation in Bernadetta’s gesture all too well. It was just like the desperate protests of a girl with chestnut-brown hair long, long ago. She gave what she hoped was a calming smile to her classmate. “Was there something I can do for you, Bernadetta?”</p><p>The archer retreated into herself. “I-I’m sorry to bother you, L-lady Edelgard. I know you must have a lot on your mind and-“</p><p>Edelgard held up her hand, to cut off her classmate. “I’ve told you before, you are never a bother. You are my classmate and friend, and it is my duty as house leader to-“</p><p>“Punish me!? Oh, no…now I’ve done-“</p><p>“Bernadetta. Stop.” Edelgard reached out and grabbed her shoulder. “I know that feeling. The horrible weight in your chest. The dizziness in your head. Breathe. You are safe.”</p><p>Edelgard had developed deep bonds with many of the Black Eagles. She had grown close to Dorothea and Ingrid, trusted Petra and Ferdinand deeply… but she was especially protective of Bernadetta and Marianne. There was a shattered child inside the princess for whom despair and fear were intimate companions. She knew Marianne and Bernadetta to be stronger than most people could ever comprehend.</p><p>The reclusive girl nervously ran her hands through her messy purple hair. “Thank you, Lady Edelgard…How did you know that was…?</p><p>The princess looked at the white clouds lazily floating above. “I understand the awful burden of living in terror. What it means to lose the ability to trust in the goodness of others.” Raw emotion was hidden behind the aloof, detached statement. “I will <em>never</em> punish you. You have my word.”</p><p>Bernadetta gave Edelgard a small, grateful smile. “T-thank you.” The girl’s fingers absently twisted the buttons of her academy uniform. “I’m worried because… because, Casper said his d-dad might be c-coming and what if my father shows up to take me back-“</p><p>The princess shook her head. “He will not be there. I swear it.” She gave Bernadetta a stern look. “The day is fast approaching where you will not fear such indignities ever again.” Edelgard’s face abruptly softened. “And when that moment comes, I trust you will join Hubert and me for some tea and gardening. Your presence would be appreciated by both of us.”</p><p>The look of joy and relief on Bernadetta’s face was a balm for Edelgard’s troubled soul.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Gronder Field was vast and lush, the gently sloped hills packed with shrubs and trees. A squirrel ran by the princess, mouth stuffed with seeds. It seemed inconceivable that such a lovely place would soon be filled with the chaos of battle.</p><p>Edelgard leaned down, admiring a small yellow daffodil peeking through the soil. The outdoors was always soothing to the princess’ spirit. Somehow, it brought perspective to her struggle. Whatever the age, the beauty of nature endured. She felt a large, gentle hand on her shoulder, and turned around with a smile. “No matter how much our world changes, you still fret over me like I’m that child in the palace gardens.”</p><p>Hubert, as always, dismissed his emotions with a shake of his head. “I swore an oath, Lady Edelgard. Besides…your mental state is of utmost importance. An anxious mind is a distracted one, especially today.” He looked up at the cliffs above the Black Eagles, where the Archbishop’s contingent stood observing, and nodded grimly. “A rather symbolic gesture, is it not?”</p><p>The princess could not help but agree. The War of the Eagle and Lion had been an expression of the Church’s dominion over the hearts and minds of the continent. The Kingdom had only gained legitimacy due to the Church’s blessing. A bloody rebellion had become a sanctified holy crusade. To commemorate the strife in such a way was a statement from the Archbishop, and not a particularly subtle one.</p><p>“Black Eagles! Fall in!” Byleth’s voice cut through the nervous chatter. The mercenary was leaning casually on the Sword of the Creator, a small, confident smirk on her face. “I hope you are all prepared. I have seen your growth over the past year, and I know you will make me proud.” To Edelgard’s great amusement, her teacher knelt in the dirt, and used the irreplaceable relic weapon gifted by the Church to diagram the Black Eagles’ strategy.</p><p>Hubert watched Byleth work, before drawing the professor’s attention with a loud hum. “I cannot help but notice that our position is rather…poor. How do you propose-“</p><p>Byleth raised her hand to cut Hubert off, and addressed the class. “Hubert raises an important problem. If we attack Dimitri’s force first, than Claude jumps out of the trees and attacks. If we allow Claude to draw us into the forest, we’re stuck between two hostile armies.”</p><p>“So what do you suggest?” said Ingrid with curiosity.</p><p>“Class, what do we know about Dimitri and Claude?” Byleth stood, and looked at her students. The confident, skilled teacher that now led the Black Eagles bore little resemblance to the nervous mercenary from the beginning of the semester. Her eyes fell upon Marianne. “What are your thoughts?”</p><p>Marianne faltered. “I…I’m not sure I should-“</p><p>“You know Claude better than any of us, Marianne, and you are a keen observer. Your opinion is always valuable.” Byleth encouraged the nervous girl with a reassuring smile.</p><p>“Well…um…one thing I’ve noticed is that…Claude doesn’t like to attack unless he’s sure he can win…I’m not sure how valuable that is though.”</p><p>Byleth nodded. “That’s perfect, Marianne. Thank you.” Behind Byleth’s shoulder, Ferdinand gave Marianne an enthusiastic gesture of approval. The teacher turned to Ingrid and Sylvain. “And Dimitri?”</p><p>Sylvain chuckled and ran his hand through his hair absentmindedly. “Dimitri’s not going to bother with any tricks or schemes. He makes Ingrid look like Hubert.” After a gentle elbow in the ribs from Ingrid, his face was filled with mock outrage. “What? You know I’m not wrong.”</p><p>Ingrid grinned and shook her head in agreement. “Dimitri fights with the belief that his power is enough. He’s going to try to hit us, hard and fast.”</p><p>“Wonderful. Thank you both.” Byleth’s eyes fell upon the rest of her class. “What have I told you all is the most important rule in combat?”</p><p>Edelgard put her hand to her chin, beginning to understand what Byleth was proposing. “Control the battlefield by making your enemy uncomfortable. Turn their strengths into weaknesses.”</p><p>Byleth’s azure eyes sparkled. “Exactly! Very good, Edelgard.” The class exchanged knowing looks at the two women’s interaction. Byleth, who remained blissfully unaware, began to pace confidently. “We’re going to split our forces.”</p><p>Edelgard could not help but notice that even by the rapidly changing standards of her teacher’s behavior, Byleth was incredibly passionate today. There was an energy and vitality in every movement, a spark of life and joy in her every expression. It was like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. To see the true Byleth break through the mask of the Ashen Demon was thrilling to witness.</p><p>Ferdinand gave a loud and demonstrative cough. “This…idea goes against every tenant of military strategy. If our army is divided in two, than conventional wisdom states that you have no army at all.”</p><p>Edelgard looked at her classmate approvingly. “A valuable point, Ferdinand. But I wager this is a temporary gambit?”</p><p>Byleth nodded. “Claude will want to avoid a direct confrontation, only attacking when he feels he has an advantage. I will lead a force into the woods to confront him, placing him on the defensive, and limiting his strategic options.” She gestured to her house leader. “Edelgard and her group will remain outside the woods, to hold the line against Dimitri. Once we have eliminated the Deer, Edelgard will retreat, luring the Lions into the woods, where our archers and mages will have cover.”</p><p>Hubert smiled. “It’s very devious, Professor. I didn’t think you had it in you.” He put his hand to his chin thoughtfully. “However, this plan relies on our forces defeating two armies with superior numbers…It is still a risk.”</p><p>Byleth pumped her fist vigorously. “Not if we have the better fighters.”</p><p>As Byleth and Edelgard stood side-by-side, waiting for the signal to commence the battle, Edelgard turned for a moment to look at her teacher. Byleth’s head was down, her eyes closed. Her breath rose and fell in a steady, comfortable rhythm. If not for the surroundings, one could almost think she was sleeping. Edelgard’s eyes followed her jaw all the way down to the delicate curvature of her neck-</p><p>
  <em>She’s beautiful.</em>
</p><p>The thought shocked her. Of course, Edelgard had always found Byleth attractive, and the princess adored Byleth for many reasons that had nothing to do with the mercenary’s physical appearance. But the emotions that Byleth inspired at that moment went beyond attraction. They tore through the drab greyness of Edelgard’s existence. She wanted to scream her feelings from the mountaintops.</p><p>Perhaps it was her knowledge of Byleth’s innate goodness that made the object of Edelgard’s affections so lovely. As the morning sun fell across her beloved’s face, the princess was filled with the overwhelming desire to capture this moment, to share a small piece of the wonder Byleth Eisner truly was.</p><p>It had been many years since the Flame Emperor had been able to see the beauty in anything. Just as Byleth was discovering her emotions, Edelgard’s humanity was returning. As a young girl, she had once laughed at her sibling’s jokes until her sides ached. Appreciated the miracle in every flower she found in the palace gardens. She had truly loved the world, until it had betrayed her trust, and broken her spirit.</p><p>Everything she had once been was cast aside, in service of the future. In service of her goals. In service of the Flame Emperor. There was nothing else in Edelgard’s empty, sad life, except her ambition. No one else must ever become like her. Edelgard was worthless. She was damned. Tainted. Ugly.</p><p>But then, on cold, wet night in Remire, Byleth had looked into Edelgard’s lonely lilac eyes and smiled. Someone had believed the monster that even the Goddess had rejected was worth saving, worth protecting. Someone had believed that Edelgard mattered. And slowly, a delicate flower was beginning to bloom.</p><p>The trumpets heralding the start of battle sounded, and Byleth opened one of her eyes. “Nervous?” There was a confidence in Byleth’s teasing voice that forced a grin out of the princess.</p><p>Edelgard raised her hand to marshal the Black Eagles forward to victory. “When we’re fighting together? Never.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The battle was chaos. Edelgard, and her battalion of frontline combatants had fought their way through an initial charge of Kingdom pegasus knights. Ingrid’s movement in the air was a beautiful dance, as she dodged and weaved between the enemy combatants, only to brutally strike with Lúin.</p><p>While Ingrid was distracted, a volley of projectiles had narrowly missed her steed. Any further approach was impossible until the Black Eagles took the central hill. Edelgard, Ferdinand, and Sylvain charged forward, smashing through the Kingdom forces that stood in the way.</p><p>At the top of the hill was Ashe, protected by a contingent of armored knights, led by Dedue. Ashe pulled out his bow, and began to rapidly fire at his former classmate. Lonato’s heir was a skilled and accurate archer, but Sylvain was practiced at dodging projectiles. As the two Faerghus natives clashed, Ferdinand and Edelgard threw themselves toward the advancing Kingdom bulwark.<br/>
<br/>
“Remember what Professor Byleth said!” called Edelgard, as she sent her opponent flying with immense force. “Go for the joints!”</p><p>Ferdinand nodded, driving his lance toward his opponent, sending the knight’s knee crumpling to the earth. Just before he was about to strike a finishing blow, Dedue threw a handax at the young noble, forcing him to dodge.</p><p>“For Dimitri’s sake, you must not be allowed to pass,” said Dedue in a stern voice.</p><p>“Aw, did they already change the Blue Lion secret password?” Sylvain rushed forward and delivered a brutal strike with his relic weapon. Dedue was pushed back, but remained upright. Ashe took advantage of the chaos to send a well-timed arrow flying at Sylvain, knocking him off his horse, and sending the animal on a panicked gallop.</p><p>“I’m going to prove myself, Sylvain!” yelled Ashe with determination. “I’m sorry about this.”</p><p>The Gautier heir jumped to his feet, ducking and dodging Ashe’s onslaught of arrows before knocking him off balance with the hilt of his lance. He smiled and offered Ashe a hand up. “Nice work, buddy,” Sylvain said approvingly. “You’re going to be one hell of a knight someday.”</p><p>Edegard pushed forward, ax crashing against Dedue’s with immense force. While her opponent was distracted, Ferdinand charged to deliver a mighty blow, only for the attack to bounce off the retainer’s armor. Ferdinand staggered backward, hurriedly calming his bewildered horse.</p><p>Dedue shook his head as he pushed his weapon against Edelgard’s ax. “I am sorry. None of you are strong enough.”</p><p>“That may be true,” said Edelgard with a smirk. “But how do you deal with magic?”</p><p>A barrage of light magic blasted Dedue off his feet. The energy and power of the spells were blinding, the brightness dazing the combatants momentarily. When the stars retreated from Edelgard’s vision, Marianne was standing with her arms outstretched, a determined look on her face.</p><p>“I’m…I’m really sorry, Dedue.” The mage played with her hands nervously. The retainer had been thrown flat on his back from the force of the blow, weapon knocked aside. He raised his hand in surrender.</p><p>“A spectacular performance, Marianne!” said Ferdinand jubilantly. “Thanks to you, we have captured the high ground! We truly make a superb team, do we not?”</p><p>Marianne gave her ally a tender smile. “It’s my pleasure, Ferdinand. I’m…always happy to help you.”</p><p>Edelgard helped Ferdinand to his feet, as Ingrid swooped down to join the group. “We’re going to need someone to remain here and fortify this position,” said Edelgard commandingly. “Sylvain, you and Marianne stay here and defend.” The two Eagles nodded, and Edelgard turned to Ferdinand and Ingrid. “We’ll hold the line between Dimitri and our forces.”</p><p>As the three Eagles made their way toward the rendezvous point, Ingrid turned to Ferdinand slyly. “Any particular reason you always seem to encourage Marianne?”</p><p>Ferdinand gave a knowing smile. “I have been given every advantage as the heir of House Aegir. Education, money, status…but the most important is a sense of purpose.” He turned back to look at Marianne in the distance. “She is a truly special person, who can accomplish whatever her heart desires.” He shook his head sadly. “I do not believe anyone had told her before.”</p><p>Edelgard looked to her right, and saw the approaching forces of the Kingdom. Dimitri marched forward, accompanied by Felix, Mercedes, and Annette. The young prince’s face was stern, but there was none of his usual timidity or awkwardness here on the battlefield. Felix’s eyes continued to dart furtively between the Eagles and Dimitri, deep concern for the prince on his severe features.</p><p>Dimitri approached Edelgard, hands raised confidently. “So this is the way we cross swords, Edelgard…you know, all those years ago, I never could have imagined this happening.”</p><p><em>What an odd statement</em>. <em>All those years… What does he mean?</em> Edelgard’s unease with her fellow house leader continued to grow, as her head began to throb. Unsettled, the princess ignored the pounding in both her head and her heart. With false bravado, she called out to her opponent-“Well, if a war between the Kingdom and Empire were to start, we could fight as much you’d wish, right?”</p><p>Dimitri chuckled at Edelgard’s lighthearted boast. “Give me a break, Edelgard…Whenever I fight you, I can’t help but feel bad…” There was a quiet sadness in the young prince’s eyes, and he paused for a moment, his classmates nervously waiting for the orders to proceed.</p><p>Edelgard twirled her ax assertively, confused by the prince’s cryptic statement. “So…when will you fight me then? We <em>are </em>in the middle of a mock battle…”</p><p>“A fair point…” Dimitri shook his head. He nodded to the pegasus knight behind Edelgard’s shoulder. “I look forward to you showing me your improvement, Ingrid.” The prince raised his spear. “For the glory of the Kingdom!”</p><p>Felix made a beeline for Ingrid, while Annette and Mercedes took on Ferdinand. Dimitri and Edelgard ran toward each other, steel crashing against steel, as ax and spear met with tremendous force.</p><p>Ferdinand dodged and weaved through the magical barrage of the two Kingdom mages. The Aegir heir, for all his bluster, possessed a keen tactical mind, and his spear clipped the more dangerous target, Annette. The young mage was sent flying backwards, to Mercedes’ horror.</p><p>Felix, meanwhile, dodged and weaved between Ingrid’s violent spear thrusts with an aggressive grace. He parried blow after blow without faltering, a look of ecstasy on his face. “Finally… a decent challenge. Maybe you’ll be a knight yet.”</p><p>The spear was a truly fitting partner for the Faerghus prince-though large and cumbersome, it was a devastating weapon, backed by tremendous force. Outside of Byleth, it was unusual for the princess to face an opponent who could match her strength. The ax was not a weapon suited for defense, and Dimitri’s ferocity forced the princess to leap backward to avoid the blows</p><p>Out of the corner of her eye, Edelgard saw that Ferdinand had eliminated both Annette and Mercedes from the battle, and was now moving to help Ingrid. Felix’s defensive strategy had begun to pay off, and Ingrid was tiring. As the swordsman pressed the attack, he seamlessly blocked Ferdinand’s spear as well. It was difficult to even see Felix’s weapon, so rapid were the nobleman’s attacks.<br/>
<br/>
After a particularly brutal thrust of Dimitri’s lance, Edelgard swung her ax downward, locking the prince’s weapon under her own, and buying her a moment’s rest. Dimitri smiled. “You seem distracted, Edelgard.” The princess pushed him away with her arm, lungs gasping for air.</p><p>His words cut deeply. The inevitable war weighed heavily on the princess’ mind. Claude was an enigma, but she had no illusions that Dimitri would stand idly by while Edelgard attacked the Church of Seiros. The legitimacy of Dimitri’s rule, indeed, Faerghus’ very existence, relied on the Church. After all, without a Goddess to watch over it, how could the Holy Kingdom be holy? By whose right did Dimitri rule, if not the divine?</p><p>No, Dimitri would be an enemy, and this mock battle just a prelude to the horror and violence that awaited all of the students of Garreg Mach in the future. How many of her classmates would die at Edelgard’s word and ax? How much blood would be enough to satisfy her ambitions? How many would be sacrificed for Fodlan’s new dawn?</p><p>
  <em>A spasm of pain shot through Edelgard as the world turned grey, just as it had during the mission to stop Ingrid’s engagement. Edelgard looked down, and her academy uniform was gone, replaced by an ornate battledress. There was an unfamiliar weight on her head, and when she reached up, she felt the unmistakable curves of the Imperial crown upon her forehead. It was all so familiar, and yet so…wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Lady Edelgard…The Alliance and Kingdom forces have arrived.” A stern, brown-haired woman stood next to her, arms tucked behind her back. “The Imperial troops await your order.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Strange words tumbled out of Edelgard’s mouth…”Thank you, Ladislava.” Who? She turned and looked out across the field. Claude was at the front of the canary-yellow Alliance forces, atop a wyvern. He was noticeably older, and his cheerful exuberance was replaced by a cold, rational stare. An older Hilda stood next to him. Both were carrying strange bone weapons. But where was-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“EDELGARD!” A voice screamed out across the plains. Dimitri stood, a vicious-looking spear in his arms. The bashful classmate Edelgard knew was gone. In his place was a snarling, angry demon, who was prowling the front lines of battle like a caged predator. He waved his spear frantically at Edelgard. “You will pay for what you’ve done! I will hang your head on the gates of Enbarr!” There was no sign of the nobility that had once defined the young prince. Gilbert and Dedue wordlessly observed the raving leader with impassive looks on their faces</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Where were her friends? Where was Byleth? The princess’ eyes frantically scanned her troops. There was no sign of any of them. Dorothea, Petra, Linhardt, Caspar…the Black Eagles were gone. She searched the Deer and Lion forces-there were many familiar faces, but no sign of Sylvain, Ingrid, Marianne, or Lysithea.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The princess felt a crushing loneliness consume her. Had they died? Was this another nightmare? Perhaps Thales had- She felt a familiar arm grip her shoulder. “You must not appear so worried. Our troops need to believe our victory is inevitable.” Hubert was older, taller, his hair in an untidy arrangement that strangely suited him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard feverishly grasped Hubert’s arm, his familiar face acting as a safe port for the princess’ troubled mind. “Where are they, Hubert? Where’s Byleth?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert gave his liege a sad, worried look. “They…are not here.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Where are-? What…what did I do?”</em>
</p><p>
<em>“You know as well as I that those…vermin made their choice.” There was something terrifying about the bitter venom with which Hubert spoke. Edelgard had only heard her retainer use that tone of voice for Aegir and his nobles. “You even went back to meet with them…and they still rejected you…rejected us.” There was always a hidden warmth to Hubert that only the princess knew, and now…that was gone. She barely could recognize him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard wanted to scream, as her fingers tore at her strange outfit desperately. She backed away from Hubert, as the full import of his words sank into her mind. They had left her, she was alone…Always, always alone. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Flame Emperor crumpled in front of her troops, hands gripping the side of her head. “Please…give them back! Please-“ She was tumbling, falling…</em>
</p><p>“STOP!” Color returned to the world, as Edelgard looked down at her familiar white gloves in disbelief. She was back in her academy uniform. It had been…a dream? A vision? Was she losing whatever remained of her mind?</p><p>Dimitri lowered his lance slightly, concern in his eyes. “Edelgard, are you-“</p><p>A triangle of white magic burst through the trees, the Sagittae spell scattering Ingrid, Ferdinand, and Felix.</p><p>Out of the woods rode the heir to the Gloucester estate, his sharp features hidden under a mop of distinctive purple hair. “Claude may have been defeated, but until Lorenz Hellman Gloucester falls…the Golden Deer still stand!”</p><p>Felix used his sword to steady himself. “You can’t be serious. You think you can take on all of-”</p><p>“Ah, but I am not alone.” At Lorenz’s boast, spikes of dark magic converged around Felix, knocking him to the ground. Lysithea stood behind Lorenz, a determined expression on her face.</p><p>Edelgard turned to a stunned Ferdinand. “Retreat, now!” Without another word, Ferdinand galloped away from danger, while Ingrid took to the skies.</p><p>Lorenz appeared exceptionally pleased with himself. “Truly, all of this conflict is an offensive sight for a refined noble. What say you, Lysithea?”</p><p>Lysithea gave Dimitri and Edelgard a determined look. “I don’t have time for this, Lorenz…This is just an opportunity to test my strength, and I won’t waste it.” There was a quick flash of reluctance as the young mage’s eyes met Edelgard’s.</p><p>Edelgard cared for Lysithea deeply, to put it mildly. Truly, she doted on the Ordelia heir. To suffer loss as profound as the two women had experienced? They understood each other, and that bond, forged from tragedy and grief, connected them in ways impossible to articulate.</p><p>It meant there was no one that Lysithea or Edelgard wanted to hurt less than each other. The princess wanted to respect her friend’s independence…but to hurt her on the battlefield? Edelgard had steeled her heart to many evils, but this pain seemed too much to bear.</p><p>Both Deer began to launch a flurry of spells at Dimitri and Edelgard, causing the princess to dive behind a tree. Lorenz galloped toward the fallen Lion, preening all the while. “After I engineer a glorious victory for the Alliance from the ashes of Claude’s failure, all will recognize the greatness of Lorenz Hellman-“</p><p>Ingrid swooped down, and delivered a savage strike with Lúin that sent Lorenz tumbling headfirst into a nearby bush. Taking advantage of the chaos, Dimitri began to run toward Lysithea, intent on removing the dangerous mage from the conflict.</p><p>The confidence in Lysithea’s pink eyes was replaced by fear, as the prince dodged her spells, before deflecting a point-blank attack with his spear. As Dimitri’s imposing height loomed over the young mage, she did not look like a combatant, but like a frightened child. She raised her hand futilely to block the weapon’s attack …</p><p>“DON’T TOUCH HER!” Perhaps it was the vision she had just experienced, the profound sense of loss rattling in her head, but Edelgard could not stand by and watch. She ran forward, barreling into Dimitri’s back with her shoulder. As Dimitri turned, his spear slashed the top of Edelgard's back, leaving a deep gash between her shoulder blades. It felt like running into a tree, but the power of Edelgard’s charge sent the prince flying. His weapon landed harmlessly on the ground, as the princess held her ax over the prince’s prone body.</p><p>“Yield.” Her words were like ice.</p><p>“Fair enough. It was a rather dishonorable blow, Edelgard. I must watch my back more carefully in the future.” Dimitri smiled. “A lesson you must learn as well, I’m afraid.”</p><p>Edelgard turned around, to see dark magic coalescing around Lysithea’s arm. She was furious as she slowly stomped toward the princess. “How dare you! This is a mock battle, and you’re still coddling me! I thought you…of all people would understand!” She rubbed her eyes furiously. “I don’t need protecting! I don’t need saving! I’M NOT YOUR BABY SISTER!”</p><p>Edelgard dropped her ax to her feet. “I know how important proving yourself is, and you have every right to be angry with me…” She raised her arms in surrender. “I just…” The Flame Emperor swallowed. “I couldn’t watch you get hurt.”</p><p>Lysithea and Edelgard had spent years burying the tragedies of their pasts under goals and plans for the future. No one could ever understand, so why try? Instead, they ignored it all-the pain, the loss, and the terrible burden of living in a world that no longer made sense. Every time they looked at one another, it picked at the scabs that had formed over their hearts.</p><p>In that moment, they realized how badly they needed each other.</p><p>Lysithea lowered her arms, and stared at the green grass at her feet. “I...I… curse you, Edelgard!” The clanging of metal and footsteps distracted the two women, and Byleth and her battalion of Black Eagles emerged from the forest’s edge. Lysithea looked at the contingent of Black Eagles and shrugged her shoulders with resignation. “I take it you have eliminated the rest of my classmates?”</p><p>Byleth gave her a small smile and nodded.</p><p>“Then there is little point in continuing this further,” she said calmly, walking toward Edelgard before giving a small bow. “I yield.”</p><p>Edelgard smiled and slowly reached out her hand. “You were fabulous today. I am confident that your family are proud…because I certainly am.”</p><p>Lysithea’s pink eyes stared at Edelgard for a moment, before she grabbed the princess tightly, encircling her with a desperate hug. Lysithea, like Edelgard, was adept at hiding her emotions, but whether it was the passion of battle, or exhaustion, she was unable to contain the gratitude on her face. “Thank you…for protecting me.”</p><p>A momentarily shocked Edelgard gingerly returned the gesture. As the horns sounded to mark the Black Eagles’ triumph, she looked down at the young girl and smiled. “I always will. I promise. And thank you.”</p><p>Lysithea pulled away from the hug, and gave Edelgard a look of confusion. “For what?”</p><p>“For understanding why.”</p><p>No further words were needed, and Edelgard turned away from her fellow student, to prevent her feelings from overwhelming her. She made her way to a small rock, and collapsed against it, as the adrenaline of battle was replaced by fatigue and pain. The wound on her back would need treatment later. Her concerns momentarily disappeared as her teacher sat down beside her.</p><p>Byleth turned to Edelgard as they watched Lysithea converse with Dimitri and Lorenz. “I saw what happened. She means a lot to you, doesn’t she?”</p><p>The princess nodded. “Yes…like you, she is someone who…who can appreciate my struggles. I feel a deep connection to her.”</p><p>Byleth shook her head knowingly. “That’s how I felt that night in Remire.”</p><p>The princess tilted her head, clearly perplexed. “But how could you possibly know that? Why did you think I was special?”</p><p>“Because before I saw you...I never felt anything at all.” Byleth looked out toward the celebrating Black Eagles with a deep pride and fondness. "Protecting my students...protecting you..it's what makes me feel...alive" A look of distress came over her face. "If I didn't-if I ever turned my back on one of you when you needed help...I think I'd be giving up what makes me human."</p><p>The memories of Edelgard's terrible vision assaulted her mind. The horrible feelings of despair and loneliness were a vice on the princess' chest. As she grasped her teacher's hand, Edelgard's unsteady thoughts latched onto the faith of her youth. For the first time in many years, the girl offered a prayer to the Goddess.</p><p>
  <em>Please, you've taken so much from me. Please...don't take her.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm not sure that Bernadetta and Edelgard's support chain gets the attention it sometimes deserves, because wow. Bernadetta talking about how flowers don't hit you, and Edelgard agreeing that people can't be trusted...the C and B supports take on a whole different tone when you realize they're both victims of horrific abuse (Bergliez is coming next chapter, by the way)</p><p>Betcha didn't think Gronder would be about Lysithea and Edelgard, did you? I honestly couldn't resist Edelgard 1) showing her humanity returning by protecting someone like Byleth did for her, and 2) the dramatic irony of protecting her adopted sibling Lysithea from her lost sibling, Dimitri.</p><p>A quick note on Dimitri-in the JP original, he doesn't scold Edelgard when they fight at Gronder, but is way more casual and friendly with her. There's also some more explicit foreshadowing of how he knows her. I prefer both, so I've incorporated that here.</p><p>I've been planning the flash-forward at Gronder for a while-Sothis has a premonition before Chapter Four about the Sword of the Creator, and so I'm applying that dramatic license here, as I beat the fate/free will themes from Silver Snow/Crimson Flower into the ground.</p><p>Thanks for reading! Stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Scars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I have to give it to you, Edelgard…You and Teach are one heck of a team.” Claude threw his hands behind his head with his characteristic airy charm. Despite the tactician’s attempts at indifference, it was clear that the Black Eagles’ resounding victory frustrated him deeply. Even Edelgard, who often struggled to read the enigmatic noble, could sense Claude’s dissatisfaction. He shook his head, seeming to fight an invisible war in his mind. “I’d hate to make an enemy of the two of you…”</p><p>Dimitri nodded in agreement, though his happiness for Edelgard’s victory was genuine. “You and Professor Byleth are formidable opponents. My training was clearly insufficient.”</p><p>Byleth dismissed their praise with a wave of her arm. “You built those traps so quickly, Claude. And hiding in a tree like that! You almost had me!” Her clear enthusiasm was contagious, and Edelgard could not help but grin as she saw the exhilaration on her teacher’s face.</p><p>The growing sparkle in Byleth’s blue eyes had become Edelgard’s guiding star. So many innocent lives had been sacrificed to create the Flame Emperor…that awful knowledge always lurked in the back of her mind. Every rare moment of happiness was tainted by the terrible debt she could never repay. But now, she had given something back, and the proof was in the beautiful sound of her teacher’s laughter.</p><p>Every time the spark of life broke through Byleth’s blank face, it brought a flickering hope to the Flame Emperor’s heart. As Imperial princess, Edelgard had luxuries most people could only dream of-and yet truly, she had nothing at all. There had been so many empty days and nights, without friendship, love or joy. With nothing to hope for, except someday, the peace of the grave.</p><p>No one’s life was better for knowing Edelgard-her mother had left her, her siblings were dead, her beloved uncle’s memory desecrated. Every time Hubert bribed and killed in her name, she could only remember the shy, sweet boy she once knew. The life she had stolen from him. But now, here was Byleth. Her blue eyes showed there was more to Edelgard von Hresvelg than death and blood and grief. That perhaps, Edelgard could do good. Could be good.</p><p>As much as Edelgard wanted to show off in front of Byleth, and revel in victory, she felt it necessary to observe decorum. “There’s no need to get carried away.” She flicked her hand dismissively. “I know you both feel we won by a paper-thin margin…and I won’t deny it. If we were to fight again, there’s no telling who would prevail.” She turned to her teacher for approval. “Don’t you agree, Professor?”</p><p>Byleth crossed her arms, before shaking her head. “They were nothing.” She looked down, a small smile rising on the corners of her lips. “When Edelgard and I fight together, we can’t lose.” It took a moment for Edelgard to realize why her teacher's words felt so familiar-Byleth was emulating her student's self-assured demeanor.</p><p>“Oh, that is good stuff...even I’m inspired!” Claude laughed and clapped his hands together. "Seems the princess has been rubbing off on you, Teach!"</p><p>She tried to dodge Dimitri’s gaze as the Faerghus prince gave her a sly look. The princess coughed loudly, trying to hide the immense satisfaction she felt. “Well, I suppose it’s OK to let victory go to your head…just this once.”</p><p>“Whatever you say, Edelgard...” Byleth gave her student an exaggerated wink, which caused the lightly blushing face of the princess to turn a deep crimson.</p><p>“In any case…” Claude raised his hand to his chin. “I hope the day never comes when we have to put this experience to use…” The normally lighthearted archer looked oddly pained.</p><p>Dimitri, too, was troubled by the thought, grasping the side of his head and frowning. As the spasm passed, he turned to Edelgard and smiled warmly. “To cross swords with you…it would be a nightmare.”</p><p>“Well, the Battle of the Eagle and Lion was named after a conflict between the Kingdom and Empire…” Edelgard looked up at the Archbishop’s entourage, as anger boiled inside her. They stood above, watching as humans lived and died, as if the dreams and hopes of the people of Fódlan were nothing but sport. To manipulate and twist the history of this continent for a millennium…the scale of what the Church of Seiros had done was staggering.</p><p>They censored knowledge. They hid the awful reality of the relic weapons. They gave nobles the freedom to act with impunity. And…and they had lied to an innocent child. Pretended that the Goddess loved her. All the hymns and devotions, all the promises of friendship and protection, had meant nothing as the rats crawled on El in the dark.</p><p>No, this world must be ruled by humans…not cruel gods who ignored the prayers of little girls.</p><p>Edelgard’s face became resolute, as a vision of her bloody path appeared in front of her. “All that is in the past. I’m sure that even the name will one day disappear from the pages of history.”</p><p>Byleth nodded with childlike simplicity. “We should all try to get along.”</p><p>"How admirable!” Claude’s hands rubbed together deviously. “And on that note, I have a proposition.”</p><p>“If this involves poison in any way, Claude…” Edelgard rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Oh, no, nothing like that…hey, is that a rat on your foot?”</p><p>Edelgard kicked her leg frantically, as her already pale face became deathly white. <em>NO! </em>Like dry leaves in a flame, the princess’ conscious mind was overwhelmed by horrible, crippling fear. All the walls of rationality, the palaces of sand she had made to protect herself, crumbled in a single terrifying instant. Her lilac eyes darted frantically, searching this way and that for the source of her terror, until she felt Byleth’s steady hand on her shoulder. She felt her breathing begin to slow, as her instinctual response was replaced by embarrassment and guilt.</p><p>Claude shook his head. “Still afraid of rats, huh? I’ll have to keep that in mind for the future.” As he saw the fear in Edelgard’s eyes give way to immense anger, he raised his hands defensively and smirked. “It was only a joke, princess.”</p><p>Byleth was on him in an instant, a tempest forming in the sea of her blue eyes. “That isn’t funny.” She crossed her arms sternly. “Jokes are about bringing people together...about making them smile. Right now, the only person laughing is you.”</p><p>The mercenary’s straightforward words cut through the flippant, distant exterior of the Leicester noble, and he began rubbing his shoulder sheepishly. “Well, a leader always has to be ready. There’s no telling when ol’ Claude may need to pull a scheme out of his bag of tricks.”</p><p>“People aren’t pawns on a tabletop, Claude.” Byleth shook her head. “You can’t just rely on manipulating other people. Someday, even one of your plans won’t work, or you’ll miscalculate.” She scowled at the mysterious archer. “And all you’ll have to rely on is the relationships you’ve made.”</p><p>“Well, in my young and adventurous life, the only person I’ve ever found truly trustworthy is <em>this guy</em>.” Claude pointed energetically at his chest, but there was a quiet sadness in his green eyes. “Maybe if you’d have taught the Deer instead…but since you seem to have no ambitions outside of cleaning up Edelgard’s messes…” He elbowed Dimitri significantly.</p><p>The prince wanted little part in the argument, and hesitated awkwardly. “While I would have dearly appreciated Professor Byleth’s guidance…” He looked at Edelgard with an immense fondness. “I believe the Professor is where she is needed.”</p><p>Byleth had seemed deeply perturbed by Claude’s words, but that vanished in an instant. She slapped Edelgard on the back, and smiled heartily. “I agree, Dimitri!” Edelgard grimaced, trying to hide the fact her teacher had just struck the wound she had received during the mock battle.</p><p>Claude’s good humor had returned, and he laughed enthusiastically. “Well, in honor of our Professor’s wise advice, I propose that when we get back to Garreg Mach, we tear down the walls between our classes with a grand feast!” He shrugged his shoulders lightly. “And by a grand feast, I mean a normal one…in the dining hall.”</p><p>The prince, who had remained reserved throughout the conversation, eagerly expressed his approval. “It would be a fine opportunity to get to know each other better. Count me in.”</p><p>As Claude and Dimitri looked at their classmate expectantly, Edelgard was wracked with another bout of guilt. Deep in her soul, the princess knew these peaceful days would end soon. When that happened, no feast or vows of friendship could make up for the chaos and horror she would unleash. It would be better to pull away, close off her heart, rather than fuel the flames of her inevitable betrayal.</p><p>But as she looked at the smiling faces of Dimitri, Claude and Byleth, the princess could not fight her loneliness anymore. After a life of pain, torment, and loss, here at Garreg Mach, she was free to be <em>her.</em> It was the selfish grasping of a lost child, but she was unwilling to give up these feelings. Not yet.</p><p>“So be it. Let’s plan to meet up the night we return. Is that OK with you, my teacher?”</p><p>Byleth nodded excitedly. “We’ll break open some wine to toast our victory!” She raised her arms to the air in triumph, causing Claude to snort with laughter. Even Dimitri covered his hand over his mouth in amusement.</p><p>The princess stared at Byleth with a mixture of delight and astonishment. Every day, she was watching the person she loved grow and change. Become who she always was supposed to be. And every day, Edelgard realized she loved that person more and more.</p><p>“What’s gotten into you?”</p><p>Byleth shrugged with a characteristic blend of innocence and spirit. “I guess I just like winning.” She began to blush and grabbed Edelgard’s hand. "It's so exciting! I’ve never had anyone other than Papa to celebrate with before!”</p><p>Edelgard pointedly ignored the teasing looks of her rivals, and felt herself tumble headfirst into Byleth’s blue eyes. Within were a thousand incredible promises-peaceful days, and quiet walks. Friendship and laughter and warm arms encircling her when the nights were cold. It was a promise to love, and be loved, in a way she had never dreamed.</p><p>Those eyes were all she needed. The Flame Emperor’s mask shattered, powerless against Byleth’s faith and trust. El smiled softly. “To see such a radiant smile...Maybe I can relax a little too.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>“What the hell have you done, Ludwig?” The strange voice was close by, but El was so tired. Was it day? Night? It was impossible to know anymore. She couldn’t even lift her head. She heard the clanging of the metal bars to her cell. Somebody was coming. She could see two pairs of feet come in. El unconsciously flinched, preparing for a boot to collide with her ribs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But it didn’t come.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As her head remained tilted downward, she saw a broad-shouldered, blue-haired man gently raise her chin. He gave her an awkward smile, but the horror in his eyes was palpable. He carefully lowered it, and stood. “Where are the rest of them? What the hell did you do to her?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Duke Aegir’s voice was scathing. “They have been disposed of. We only need one Emperor, and the others would create problems of succession and blabbing tongues…it’s better this way.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The other man slammed Duke Aegir into the wall with terrifying force. “You told me all of this was about limiting the power of the Emperor! I believed you!” His voice was filled with a terrifying righteous fury. “I’ve spent my life fighting with honor, and now I find out you’re KILLING CHILDREN! IN MY NAME!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Duke Aegir remained unruffled. “I’ll tell you what I told Vestra, Albert. You benefited from our little rebellion, just as much as I did. But remember, I control the throne.” He pushed away from the other man’s grasp. “And if you’d like the Bergliez heirs to stay out of this dungeon...you’ll keep quiet.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Count Bergliez was an imposing man, but he shrank into himself. He backed away slowly from Duke Aegir, only stopping at a quiet sound from the corner of the room. “Pl-please…” El whispered, throat raw. “They’re hurting me…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Count Bergliez looked into El’s pleading eyes, and froze. They stared at each other for what seemed an eternity…until he fled from the room, never once turning back.</em>
</p><p>As Edelgard walked toward the meeting place, she shook her head, attempting to dispel the awful memories of yet another betrayal, and the fury that welled inside her. It was a fire, burning everything. She wanted to hurt Count Bergliez…make him understand just a small piece of the desolation she had felt.</p><p>This, in truth, was the reason for the princess’ cold and distant demeanor. If she allowed herself to feel-to dwell on the totality of what had been taken from her-the burning embers of her rage would become a towering inferno. One that would consume her. No decent person thought the things Edelgard did. Just as her body had been twisted and shattered by the experiments, her mind bore terrible scars. Scars that the monster kept hidden, so she could walk in the world of men.</p><p>Hubert coughed loudly, breaking her mind out of a twisting labyrinth of hatred. He gave his liege a sympathetic look. “Any feelings you have toward that filth are understandable, Lady Edelgard, but remember, we need him.” He gave her a small, evil smile. “Just try to imagine the look on Duke Aegir’s face…I find that very helpful.”</p><p>Edelgard gave Hubert a sad smile. “I understand Hubert…but it is very difficult.” As the princess and her retainer approached Count Bergliez’s carriage, her hands clenched into fists. <em>Project strength. Remain calm. Don’t feel.</em></p><p>The carriage door swung open, and Count Bergliez stepped out. From the full beard, to the determined look in his teal eyes, he was a military man, through and through. His posture was ramrod straight, as if an invisible string was holding his body in line. Every stride was made with a purpose, directed by a hidden guide. The count and the princess exchanged formalities, before an awkward pause ensued.</p><p>Bergliez gestured at Hubert with his thumb, gruff voice ringing loudly in the princess’ ears. “Isn’t that Vestra’s kid? Are you sure he-“</p><p>“Hubert is my right hand-I trust him with my very life.” She glared at Count Bergliez, daring him to challenge her. “Any words you say to me, you also say to him.”</p><p>“That’s what Ionius thought about Count Vestra…” Bergliez was clearly not a man to put on airs, and his words carried no small amount of regret. “Still, what exactly do you want from me?”</p><p>Edelgard placed her hands behind her back, trying desperately to project arrogance and confidence. “Duke Aegir has grown complacent, gorging himself upon the wealth of the Empire. I aim to offer you what he promised so many years ago-a unified Fódlan. One that again is united under the flag of the Empire.”</p><p>Bergliez began to stroke his beard thoughtfully. “I’m a soldier, my lady. I’ve heard enough empty promises and words to last a lifetime.” His eyes dug into the princess, probing for weakness. “I can also tell when someone is trying to appear tough…” He gestured over to an outcropping of rocks, and gave the princess a sad smile. “Let’s actually talk. I think I owe you that.”</p><p>As Edelgard gingerly sat on a large boulder, Bergliez offered her a foul-smelling flask. After she politely demurred, the three nobles sat quietly for what seemed an eternity. Finally, Edelgard softly broke the silence, surprising no one more than herself. “I’ve hated you for years, you know…since that day in the dungeons.”</p><p>Count Bergliez shrugged and took a massive gulp from his drink. “I can’t say I blame you…I haven’t gone a day without thinking about the look in your eyes. I <em>swear</em> to you, I had no idea what the Prime Minister was doing. And then he threatened my family...” He turned to the princess. “Is that what this is about? Vengeance?”</p><p>“No.” Edelgard put her hand to her chin thoughtfully. “I think for a long time, it was…but after a while, I realized that revenge wouldn’t satisfy me.” She looked at the blue sky above. “After you go through that much suffering…when you beg for help, day after day, and no one cares...you realize that nothing will ever truly make you feel safe again. The only thing I want is for this madness to end.”</p><p>“You’ll have to be more specific.”</p><p>“The Crests…the Church of Seiros…a nobility that acts without accountability or shame. It is all a crooked tangle.” The princess’ tone was stern, her resolve evident in every word. “I dream of a world where any man can become a general, or a prime minister, or an Emperor, free from the tyranny of divine birthrights.”</p><p>Bergliez gave a long, low whistle. “Listen…I’ve watched questions of succession tear my family apart. I’ve seen countless deserving soldiers passed over because they weren’t born of nobility. I support the idea…” He took another swig of liquor. “…But the Church of Seiros…that’s not gonna be easy, kid.”</p><p>Edelgard turned to the noble with a small smile. “Nothing in life worth doing is easy.”</p><p>The count gave an audible sigh. “You sound just like your father.” He shook his head. “So what happens to me and my family after your grand conquest?”</p><p>“All those who distinguish themselves will be rewarded. Given your history, I have little doubt you will be among them.” She nervously played with her white gloves. “All I ask is that when I seize back control of the throne, I can count on the military’s support.”</p><p>“Heh, Ludwig’s a toad that I’ll be happy to see the end of. I’d do that for free, princess.” He looked at her thoughtfully. “And after the show you put on at the mock battle today, you can count on my support. Anything else?”</p><p>“There are two other requests. One, as Emperor, I will require a personal guard. I would like you to hand-select them. I care nothing for titles…give me the best, whether they were born in a barn or a palace.”</p><p>The general could only laugh in response. “I think we’re going to get along rather well, my lady…and the other?”</p><p>“I would like Count Hevring’s support as well.”</p><p>“That fop!” Bergliez’s face turned red with irritation. “What do you need him for?”</p><p>“Because he controls the Empire’s purse…and if your son and his are any indication, you are my only hope of convincing him to do anything.”</p><p>“He’ll be a tough nut to crack…” Bergliez stood and stretched his back. “But I’ll make him see sense…” He turned and began to walk toward his carriage, before stopping and doubling back, a hesitant look in his eyes. “I have to ask…are you Anselma’s daughter?”</p><p>Edelgard froze at the mention of her mother’s name. “Yes…I am.” The Flame Emperor’s voice fell to a whisper. “Did...did you know her?”</p><p>Bergliez gave a small smile. “I’ve lived a long time and travelled far and wide. Your mother was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. You have her eyes.” As Edelgard looked at the ground, deeply shaken, he tilted his head. “Do you know why your father tried to consolidate power?”</p><p>Edelgard felt a spasm of fear build within her. “I only know that he was attempting reforms. What they were, I have never dared asked him.”</p><p>Words were caught in the general’s throat. “I…I don’t know if it’s my place to say…”</p><p>Hubert moved toward Count Bergliez, a murderous expression on his face. “After all you have dared to take from Lady Edelgard, you would-“</p><p>Bergliez raised his hand. “You’re right…” He sighed, and locked his eyes on the princess. “Your father...he truly loved Anselma. He was forced to take on other consorts, as Emperor, but-”</p><p>“No!” Edelgard marched toward the noble, and jabbed her finger at him. All the festering resentment of her mother’s abandonment spilled forth out of the princess. “Don’t you dare! Do you know what it was like? To grow up without a mother? To wish just once you could have what so many other children do?” Her royal poise was shattered. “And now you tell me my parents <em>loved each other</em>?!<em>”</em></p><p>Bergliez shrugged his shoulders. “Believe what you want. I only found out afterwards. All I was told at the time was that the Emperor wanted power.” The man was sincerely regretful. “He was going to end the very idea of Imperial consorts…because he loved your mother that much. Consider my support the repayment of a debt.” He gave the princess a formal bow, and left without another word.</p><p>Edelgard collapsed against a rock, her hands covering her face. Her father and mother…she had thought their romance a fairy tale-a story from her father to make a motherless child feel valued. But…they truly <em>had</em> loved each other. If not for her damned Crest, she could have lived a happy life, with happy parents…and it had all been taken from her. Was her life nothing but a plaything for the gods? How much more could she lose?</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Between thoughts of the mother she had never known, and the gash on her back, Edelgard was subdued at the party. She had considered visiting the infirmary for treatment, but she only would trust Manuela to bandage her scarred body, and the infirmary was overrun as a result of the battle. So Edelgard suffered in silence.</p><p>As she looked around the dining hall, holding a tray laden with desserts, she felt a tap on her shoulder.</p><p>“You’re looking lost,” said Ingrid with a smile. “There’s a space next to Sylvain, Felix and me.” Even the future Emperor of Adrestia was not immune to the unique awkwardness of finding a place to sit, and she gave an audible sigh of relief.</p><p>Felix wagged his finger at the princess as she sat down. “Let me make one thing clear. If not for that idiot Lorenz’s interference, I would have beaten you today.”</p><p>Sylvain began to laugh and threw his arm around his annoyed friend. “One thing you have to understand about the future Lord Fraldarius, Edelgard …” He began to rustle a clearly frustrated Felix’s hair. “Is that the constant stream of verbal abuse is how he shows you he really cares.”</p><p>“You complain now, Felix, but you’d get along with her fabulously.” Ingrid looked at Sylvain and smiled. “We just switched from Felix lecturing us all day to listening to Edelgard moralizing, didn’t we?” The pegasus knight had a twinkle in her green eyes.</p><p>Edelgard began to laugh, her spirits lightened by Sylvain and Ingrid’s inclusion. Before Garreg Mach, she could have never dreamed of being included in such lighthearted banter. She had never imagined she could be anyone’s friend. “I suppose I’m lucky to have the two of you to keep my ego in check, aren’t I?” She turned to Felix teasingly. “Perhaps we could do a joint lecture sometime…”</p><p>Sylvain shrugged. “I think I’d rather just listen to the pretty girl, all things considered.” He winced as Felix, Edelgard, and Ingrid all simultaneously kicked him in the shin.</p><p>Felix waved his hand to dismiss any possible sentiment. “Well, I have a duty to keep my eye on the Boar…someone’s got to keep the wild beast from going on a rampage.” He looked at Dimitri, who was happily conversing with Raphael and Ignatz at a nearby table. The usually harsh features of the swordsman softened.</p><p>“It’s always been him…hasn’t it?” The pegasus knight gazed at her friend sadly, a knowledge that could only come from years and years of intimate friendship.</p><p>Sylvain shook his head knowingly, ignoring Felix’s truly alarming scowl. “You should have seen his face, Edelgard. Dimitri would go on and on about this girl he met when he was a kid…and Felix would complain about her for <em>hours</em>!” He looked at Felix and smiled. “For all his whining about the “Boar,” nobody loves Dimitri more than him.”</p><p>Felix could only sputter in response, his face blushing. “I just…he…” He stood, brushed off his uniform and glared at his dinner companions. “I have training.” Without another word, the Fraldarius heir stomped out of the dining hall.</p><p>Edelgard looked after Felix with concern. “Shouldn’t you go after him?”</p><p>Ingrid rolled her eyes. “If we ran after Felix every time he threw a temper tantrum…” She sighed, and shook her head. “Felix and Dimitri weren’t always so…brash. They’ve been different, ever since…” A spasm of pain passed over her face. “Glenn.”</p><p>Sylvain took a loud sip of his soup. “I’m not saying Ingrid and I have handled it well…” He looked at Edelgard with sadness. “But a lot of times, I’m not sure if the Felix and Dimitri I knew really survived Duscur at all.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” said Edelgard. “Such terrible wounds never truly heal.” She began to play with the clasp of her cape. “Just remember, they may not like the person they have become either.”</p><p>Ingrid gave the princess an understanding nod, while Sylvain looked between his two classmates in confusion. “Edelgard…” he began warily, “the way you’re talking, it sounds like-“</p><p>Edelgard raised her hand, her self-possession returning. She smiled at her friends warmly. “I am still trying to heal myself, but…I suppose it makes me all the more grateful to have met the two of-“</p><p>There was a clamor of noise to the right of their table, and Byleth, who had been engaged in a quiet conversation with Petra, had collapsed. Instantly, Edelgard felt that awful greyness pulling her down, down, down as the world lost its hue. <em>No! Please!</em></p><p><em>Pain</em> <em>…that was the first thing Edelgard felt. The pain of battle, far beyond anything she had experienced before. As she tried to focus, to ignore the sting in her muscles and joints, she quickly tried to gather her bearings. </em></p><p>
  <em>The ornate spires and ancient extravagance were painfully familiar to the princess. As was the plush throne she was now seated in-one she had watched her father hold court from so many times before. The gardens she had ran and played in as a child. It was a place filled with sadness and delight in equal measure. It was the palace at Enbarr. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The doors to the throne room burst open, and a ragged and tired Imperial soldier limped toward the throne. “Your Majesty…a report!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A black shadow appeared in the Emperor’s peripheral vision. “The Emperor is still recovering from her wounds at Gronder.” Hubert conjured a miasma of purple energy in his hands. “Pray that your news is worth this interruption.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The soldier shuffled forward nervously. “The…the Great Bridge has fallen to the Church’s forces, Your Majesty!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert was upon him in an instant. “You were unable to hold the Bridge…and you dare come crawling back-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Was…was Byleth there?” The Flame Emperor’s quiet, sad voice echoed off the cavernous walls of the palace. “Were the other…Eagles there?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The soldier looked at Hubert nervously, before the retainer slowly nodded. Emboldened, the man finally began to speak. “I served against Dagda and in hundreds of skirmishes. I’ve never been scared on the battlefield…before fighting those people.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What. Do. You. Mean.” The sheer malice in Hubert’s voice was terrifying. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“The woman, Byleth, leading their forces... She’s not human! She killed half my battalion with one swing of that sword of hers. She didn’t speak, she didn’t shout, she didn’t even change her expression!” The panicked man was teetering on the edge of hysteria. “All those people rallying around her, and it’s like she doesn’t care at all. Like she's a walking corpse! And those Faerghus kids…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard leaned forward in her chair. “Ingrid…Sylvain…what of them?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“They…they were animals. Screaming and ranting about revenge for the King.” Fear covered his weathered face, “They let me go…told me to tell you a message, Your Majesty.” The soldier lowered his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert grabbed the man’s collar, his dignity forgotten. His voice was filled with a quiet despair. “What did they say?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“They said to tell you…’we’re coming’…”</em>
</p><p>Edelgard blinked, and she was back in the dining hall, amongst friends who would soon be enemies. She stood with a start, before crying out in pain. Her haste had aggravated the wound on her back, and the intense jolt of agony she now experienced was impossible to conceal.</p><p>Ingrid grabbed Edelgard’s hand, clearly concerned. There was no sign of her typically stern expression. “Edelgard…are you all right? What-“</p><p>Edelgard stared at Ingrid and Sylvain’s worried faces blankly. Her eyes darted around the dining hall, from Dorothea to Petra, Caspar to Ferdinand… She pulled away from her friend's arm, and grasped the sides of her head. The scared girl desperately tried to drown out the thoughts that reverberated incessantly.</p><p>
  <em>They’re going to despise us…it’s destiny. And how could they not? If we were truly good, the Goddess would have saved us…protected us. But She didn’t. The Goddess took Mother. She took our family. And soon, She’ll take everything else we love. She hates us. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s what we deserve.</em>
</p><p>The Flame Emperor fled without a purpose, ignoring the ache in her body and in her heart. She knew there was nowhere she could truly go. What safe harbor could there be for a person who even the Goddess despised? Her life was nothing but a cruel joke…a miserable trick for divine amusement. Why had she even been born at all? Nonexistence would have been preferable to watching every faint dream be dashed, to suffering alone over and over. She was just…so tired of being alive.</p><p>She ran up the stone steps to her room, and sank to the floor, pain overwhelming her. Edelgard looked at herself in the mirror. The back of her academy uniform was stained red, the rhythmic, soft dripping of blood assaulting the princess’ ears. She would have to go to the bathhouses…at least to clean the wound and replace the bandages. It gave her distraught mind a tangible act to focus on-if her soul could not be clean, at least her body would.</p><p>Edelgard waited until the time that the student bathhouse closed, and snuck downstairs, using the key Manuela had given her. It was dark and eerie, but the princess could only think of the comfort of washing off the dried blood that covered her back. She gingerly sank into the stinging cold water, feeling the knots in her tired muscles begin to release.</p><p>The princess had a difficult relationship with silence and isolation. Most of the time, she required it. By being around others, she exposed herself to what she feared most-being hurt again. But in truth, she hated to be alone. Before the experiments, her life had been filled with warmth and laughter and life in the crowded palace in Enbarr.</p><p>And now…so much of her life was silent.</p><p>Suddenly, the door to the bathhouse slammed, breaking Edelgard out of her gloomy thoughts. She looked down at her arms and chest, covered in those terrible, hideous scars. <em>I can’t be seen</em>. <em>No one can know.</em> She began to move to get out of the bath, when she saw her.</p><p>Byleth Eisner walked in, wearing a towel for modesty. The princess sank down into the bath, leaving only her neck exposed, hoping against hope that Byleth would not notice her presence. As Edelgard lay quiet, she heard her professor talking to someone. The Flame Emperor strained her ears and listened.</p><p>“I do not!” Byleth’s voice was animated. “I care for all my students. And I do have other friends!” She moved her hands around excitedly. “Petra understands being confused by everything around you, I like talking to Shamir about mercenary things…and Ingrid and I just...it feels like we've known each other forever.”</p><p>Edelgard looked around in confusion. <em>Who </em>was she talking to?</p><p>“That’s not true! I know I rely on her too much…but I-“ Byleth frowned, her hand on her hips. Edelgard leaned forward, trying to comprehend what she was seeing. “No, she wouldn’t be interested…Why? Because she's…and I’m-“</p><p>*<em>Plop!</em>*</p><p>The princess winced. The bath soap she had placed next to her had tumbled into the water with a loud splash. Byleth looked around the bathhouse, large eyes straining in the dim light. “Hello!” she called. “Is someone there?” She moved closer and closer to Edelgard’s position…</p><p>“DON'T LOOK!” Edelgard screamed, head remaining just above the water’s surface. Byleth jumped, a look of surprise in her eyes. “What are you <em>doing </em>here?!” demanded the princess, trying to retain her dignity.</p><p>Byleth turned away, blushing. “Seteth gave me a key at the beginning of the semester…but why are-“ Abruptly, a look of horror crossed over her stoic face. “How much did you hear?”</p><p>The princess tilted her head suspiciously. “You mean your fascinating conversation with…yourself?” Given the horrible visions she had experienced, fanciful ideas began to flutter in Edelgard’s paranoid mind. Perhaps the Goddess herself was conspiring against her!</p><p>Byleth shuffled her foot nervously, “I-I was talking to my, um…my…mom.” She suddenly covered her ears, as if someone was shouting in them.</p><p>“My teacher,” Edelgard began hesitantly. “Have you eaten any food that Claude prepared?”</p><p>“No, I just haven’t been feeling well. You saw me faint tonight, and I just-“ She stopped and pointed at the bloodstained bandage that Edelgard had removed before entering the bathhouse. “What is that?”</p><p>Now it was Edelgard's turn to falter, as she looked at the dressing, and felt her mind go blank. “Oh, I…I…was just cleaning up! Someone must have left this out…completely and totally irresponsible.” She shook her head, trying to appear wise.</p><p>Byleth crossed her arms, clearly frustrated. “Why didn’t you go to Manuela for treatment? This is a serious injury, Edelgard!” She examined what little she could see of the princess carefully. “And why are you sitting with the water up to your head? What’s going on?”</p><p>Edelgard glared at her teacher. “I can’t tell you.”</p><p>The mercenary stomped forward. “You are my friend, but you are also my student. My only job at the monastery is to protect my class. If-if you don’t tell me…I’ll...I'll tell the Archbishop!”</p><p>“Fine!” screamed Edelgard, her restraint in tatters from the events of the evening. “If you want to see so badly…Here!” She raised her arms out of the water, revealing the patchwork of scars and mutilated skin. Byleth Eisner was not a woman given to strong emotional reactions, but she staggered back, hands over her mouth.</p><p>“Yes, truly repulsive, aren’t I?” Edelgard’s response was ferocious, the words of a cornered animal. Right now, all her shame and sadness were hidden by an armor of anger. “Turn around for a moment, while I get a towel.”</p><p>“No…how could-” Byleth covered her eyes, and looked away. The princess awkwardly fumbled with her towel before coughing.</p><p>“You can look now…all I ask is that you keep the knowledge of my disgrace private.” Byleth still did not turn around, face buried in her hands. Edelgard felt a terrible malevolence well up inside her, an awful poison that she had to release. “Well, now you know what I am! An ugly, scarred little monster! I knew as soon as you saw you’d be disgusted…Everybody is!" For a long time, neither woman spoke, as the sounds of Edelgard's voice echoed off the walls of the bathhouse.</p><p>Finally, mercifully, Byleth turned to Edelgard and grabbed her wrists. “Edelgard...I’m so sorry. I…didn’t think about…when you told me about the experiments-” There was a deep hurt in every word. “That is not your fault.”</p><p>“Yes, it is!” The Flame Emperor threw her teacher’s hands away, and began to pace frantically, her speech mechanical. “I can still recite the teachings of the Church by heart- <em>The Goddess is all things, Her eyes see all, Her ears hear all, Her hands receive all</em>...all except for me...” Edelgard’s voice began to tremble. “<em>The Goddess cares for and protects all that is beautiful in this world</em>…”</p><p>Byleth tilted her head, an immense sadness in her eyes. “I…I don’t understand.”</p><p>The girl’s breath was hard and rapid. Such a unique and awful pain. How could she describe it? How could words express your very soul being amputated? “She...She could have saved me! Helped me! Told me She was listening! Was it so beyond Her omnipotence to help a terrified little girl?!” </p><p>She pointed at the mutilated skin above her heart, daring the mercenary to confront the awful reality. “Every single scar is a sign. One that shows how ugly I am inside! Shows exactly why the Goddess refused to help me!”</p><p>“Edelgard…you’re…not ugly.” Byleth rubbed her wrist nervously. “I can’t-“</p><p>The princess was in the full depths of hysteria. “Of course you can’t. You’re beautiful and kind and perfect…the one the Goddess chose to wield the Sword of the Creator…and I’m none of those things.” She turned away, unable to bear the humiliation and torment a moment longer. “Just leave me alone.” </p><p>For a moment, there was silence, as Edelgard braced her heart for the sound of her teacher fleeing in disgust. It was what her mother had done. It was what the Goddess had done. Everyone did, once they discovered the truth of who she was. But then, Edelgard felt a hand slowly caress her bare, scarred shoulder.</p><p>“Edelgard…look at me. Please.”</p><p>The princess turned, and looked up in trepidation at Byleth’s blue eyes. The mercenary gave her a small smile, and grabbed her right hand. “I have to show you something.” Byleth hesitantly guided Edelgard’s hands toward her chest. For a moment, the princess panicked, only to feel a roughness against Byleth’s smooth skin.</p><p>“It’s-“</p><p>“A scar over my heart...” said Byleth calmly. “Just like yours.” She gave Edelgard a teasing smile. “Why do you think I wear that medallion over my chest?” She looked away, like a child telling a forbidden secret. “I don't know where it comes from, but Papa says no one can ever know.”</p><p>“Don’t- don’t compare yourself to me…” protested the Flame Emperor feebly. “I’m not- …” Suddenly, Edelgard’s self-pity was broken by the sounds of Byleth’s laughter. The princess gave her teacher an angry glare. “Oh, amusing, am I?”</p><p>Byleth gave her a smile. “Edelgard, I admire <em>you</em>.” She looked at the princess’ shocked face and laughed. “Claude was right today. I have no goals of my own. I want to protect people. Keep those I love safe, but...how? Even with all this power…” She gripped her student’s hand firmly. “Rhea keeps saying I have a grand destiny. I...I don't want to let her down, but...sometimes, I feel so lost.”</p><p>The princess shook her head in amazement. All this time, she had viewed her teacher as a savior, as her unbreakable rock, and yet, she had never considered Byleth’s own hopes and fears. Edelgard had been looking to her teacher for guidance, when she had needed help just as desperately. Her mind burned with shame. Did she actually love Byleth at all, or just being saved by her? </p><p>Edelgard looked at Byleth's body. In the dim light, she could see so many marks and cuts from a lifetime of lonely battle. The princess reached out and hesitantly touched an old knife wound. "I'm so sorry, my teacher," she whispered softly. "I've never noticed how much you've been hurt too."</p><p>"I..." Byleth was adrift. "Rhea and the people in the Church expect so much of me...the students need me. What- what should I do, Edelgard? You've been hurt so badly, and yet you still...” Her voice was wistful and sad. “You always seem to move forward..." She carefully caressed the scars on Edelgard’s arm, causing the princess to tremble at the contact. Minutes passed as the two lost women tenderly gazed into each other's eyes.</p><p>Edelgard did not want to break the magic of the moment, but there were truths that had to be said. "My teacher, there are things I want from you...but they must be your choice. Not mine. The power you have is one that will shape the future of this continent...and that is a truly heavy burden to bear." She studied her teacher's blue eyes. "Whatever destiny has in store for you...just promise me it will be your decision."</p><p>A massive grin broke out on Byleth's face. "You sound like someone else I know...she told me something very similar." Byleth's eyes darted toward Edelgard's wound, and she gently turned the princess around. “Your back…” Faith magic emanated from her teacher’s hand. The princess felt the terrible gash begin to heal, accompanied by a pleasant warmth and tingling on her skin. The mercenary wordlessly worked, before wrapping some bandages against the wound.</p><p>“I’m so sorry…” said Byleth in a defeated voice. “I think it’s going to leave another scar.”</p><p>"Thank you, my teacher." Edelgard choked the words out, fighting against a lifetime of self-loathing and misery. "Thank you for not running away."</p><p>Byleth looked at Edelgard sadly, before grabbing her student's hand with unusual force. “You are <em>not</em> a monster. You <em>are</em> beautiful. Whatever the Goddess thinks about you…please... remember that.”</p><p>Suddenly, the door to the bathhouse slammed open, causing the two women to jump with a start. Shamir stepped inside, the normally laconic mercenary appearing deeply agitated. “Byleth.” There was an immense worry hidden in her normally terse voice. “I've been looking for you everywhere. We have an emergency.”</p><p>“What is it?” said Byleth. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>Shamir sighed. “It’s your hometown. Something’s happened to Remire.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-As much as this fic is about Edeleth, it's really just as much about Edelgard and Sothis.</p><p>-On Bergliez, we find out very little in-game, but he 1) offers himself for execution so his men can go free in SS and 2) seems to be actually competent at his job. I thought a nuanced portrayal was more interesting, since I've been writing Aegir as the absolute worst person in the world.</p><p>-There are many localization changes I understand (Byleth wanting to get drunk after the battle is one of them), but Treehouse's decision to remove Ionius' entire reason for power centralization (eliminating the consorts) was a big, big mistake.</p><p>-Thank you all so much for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The Cold I Know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>*Clack!* *Clack!* *Clack!*</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The storm that raged outside the Imperial palace battered the ancient fortress mercilessly. It was a cold and lonely place, and any building with such a large amount of history attracted numerous fanciful stories. Stories told in hushed whispers amid the darkened corners of the palace.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Multiple maids had claimed to see the spectral figures of the lost Hresvelg children wandering the passages at night. Some of the more fantastic accounts even declared they called the Emperor’s name, hoping that their sibling could save them. Others asserted that the Emperor had killed her siblings herself, in a savage plot to inherit the throne, and the spirits were crying her name in vengeance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One of the stableboys told an incredible story of a monster that was kept in the palace dungeons-a terrible beast that would destroy Enbarr in an inferno of fire if it were to be freed. The boy received a sharp rap on the head from one of the older men, and was sent away to wash out the horses’ stalls.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Emperor’s wing was subject to the most outlandish rumors of all. Stories persisted of a mysterious wailing woman who could be heard in the dead of night, mourning an unfathomable tragedy. Whether it was the loss of friends, family, or a great love seemed to vary from night to night. There was one thing all the stories agreed on-they had never heard such dreadful anguish and loneliness in a human voice before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This rumor, in particular, seemed to deeply anger the young Count Vestra. A few unfortunate chambermaids found gossiping about it had been unceremoniously removed from the palace. Whatever the truth, the domestics knew better than to walk the halls of Enbarr after dark. Especially on nights such as this, when the rain fell in torrents, and the walls between worlds seemed especially thin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As a bolt of lightning illuminated the hallway, a figure in red could be seen. Although her pale skin and snow-white hair could mark her as phantom, this late-night wanderer was alive-in body, if not in spirit.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The staff lived in fear of Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg. She was cold and severe, a woman seemingly lacking any of the emotions that made a person human. In the five years she had ruled, no one had ever seen her laugh, or smile, or show any emotion beyond an icy aloofness. The only individual she would acknowledge was her ever-present shadow, Count Vestra. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As he appeared behind the Emperor’s shoulder, seemingly materializing out of the shadows themselves, she did not react. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I must again question the wisdom of this, Your Majesty.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Emperor did not respond, and for minutes, all that could be heard was the rhythmic tapping on the stone beneath their feet. Gradually, the walls lost their ornate tapestries, and the flooring became well-worn stone, before the Emperor of Adrestia stopped outside a wooden door. Hubert looked at her, a pleading expression in his eyes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I should accompany you-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She opened the door, and went inside without another word. She carefully stepped down the steep steps, before finally alighting in front a cell, where a haggard woman sat. The woman’s ethereal green hair was swept to the side, allowing one to see that her ears ended in elongated points.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Emperor pulled a key from her pocket, and unlocked the door to the prison. As she stepped inside, the prisoner watched the intruder, an enigmatic look in her green eyes. The Emperor quickly glanced at the tray with bread, stew, and water, before turning back to the inmate.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Is anything wrong with the food, Archbishop?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The former leader of the Church of Seiros shook her head. “No, the food is fine. I simply do not want to give you the satisfaction of eating it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Flame Emperor sighed. “I’m impressed with how long you’ve continued this protest…When I was in your position, I-“ She trailed off, having revealed more than she intended.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rhea looked at her captor with a mixture of surprise and sadness. “I did not know that you-“</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>Yes.” The subtle tightening of the Emperor’s posture was the only outward change, yet it was clear she was uncomfortable. She turned her back to the deposed Archbishop. “The nobles wanted to give me the Goddess’ Crest-the Crest of Flames. They succeeded.”</em></p><p>
  <em>A spasm of anger burst in the shackled woman’s emerald eyes. For a moment, she again resembled the leader who had commanded the unmatched might of the Knights of Seiros. “Blasphemy! For the gifts of the Goddess to be used in such a way…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Like you did to Byleth?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Flame Emperor turned around, her words spoken not as an accusation, but as a simple statement of fact. She placed her hands behind her back. “I’ve never been able to find out how you did it…but she too, has the Crest of Flames.” The woman’s face was all the more frightening for her complete lack of emotion. “That night, at the Tomb…I saw how you looked at her.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rhea glared up at the Flame Emperor with defiance. “She will be the new light of Fódlan…A light that will return order to this chaotic world. You cannot possibly understand what that means.“</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>Yes, I can.” Lilac eyes narrowed dangerously. “I know because the look on your face that night was the same one my captors gave me.” </em></p><p>
  <em>For a moment, a ripple of rage was visible on Rhea’s saintly features, before her stately bearing collapsed completely. Without her regalia, she looked so small and frail. She gazed at Edelgard dolefully. “I…I just wanted to see my mother again. I believed her a vessel that-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“SHE’S NOT A VESSEL!” Five years of repressed anger spilled out in one awful scream. Edelgard marched back and forth in the small cell, distraught. “Lillies are her favorite flowers, and she likes this truly disgusting meal called pickled rabbit skewers, and when she thinks something is funny, she puts her hand up to her mouth…just like this-“ </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looked at her gloved hand sadly, before turning away from the Archbishop. For a moment, it almost appeared that the Flame Emperor’s eyes glistened with tears. Or perhaps it was just a trick of the light.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I helped found the very Empire you now rule…” said Rhea. “You have been on the throne long enough to know how the power twists and warps you. Day after day, the compromises you make become easier and easier...until…” She shook her head. “I have made terrible mistakes, and what I wanted to do to Byleth will haunt me forever. She has grown beyond my own dreams for her.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard turned, and stared at the Archbishop for a moment, studying her expression. Finally she nodded. “I believe you.” She knelt, and looked in her enemy’s eyes. “Promise me that you will allow her to live her own life-after all this.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Do you not believe you can win your war, Edelgard?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No. No, I don’t.” Edelgard gave Rhea a small, sad smile. “When I was set on this path, long ago…I think I always knew in my heart where it would lead.” She unfurled her fingers, and the insignia of the Crest of Flames glowed in the room’s dim light. “Really, I’ve been dying a slow death ever since.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Archbishop’s righteous fury returned. “You plunged this continent into the hell of war, <strong>knowing you will fail?!</strong>” She tried to lunge at the Emperor, but her chains restrained her. “How dare you? Placing your own selfish-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard smashed her fist into the wall, shattering the old stone into pebbles that landed at her feet. She stared at the Archbishop with indescribable loathing, before her face returned to a familiar cool inflexibility. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I begged…so many nights, for something different. For the Goddess to take this burden away.” The stern voice of the Emperor was gone, replaced by that of a pitiful, forlorn girl. “I knew that even if it was hopeless, even if it meant I would challenge the very heavens themselves…I had to fight.” She fiddled with her red gloves, a nervous tic from her academy days. “For all of those I loved who could not.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rhea and Edelgard looked at each other, a terrible understanding passing between them. In a moment, the immense walls between the two survivors crumbled into ash. The Archbishop sank down to the ground, before placing her hands on her lap.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What did you want-before?” Rhea looked at Edelgard sadly. “I…it’s been so very long. I want to be that girl again-“ She bowed her head. “But it’s become so hard to remember….”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Emperor knelt on the floor, and looked at her enemy with a new understanding. “The same as you, I think. To be held in my mother’s arms. Quiet walks with friends. To be loved.” She hesitated, and stood, before moving toward the door. “…But that wasn’t the Goddess’ will.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As the Flame Emperor unlocked the door to the cell, Rhea’s voice stopped her. “I wish it had been different, Edelgard…I wish we had talked before-” She looked around her prison mournfully.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard paused, but did not turn back to face the Immaculate One. “We were both frightened children playing dress-up. And now it’s far too late.” She collapsed her forehead against the bars of the cell. “I know the Goddess doesn’t listen to my prayers, and you can talk to Her...so can you please ask Her for mercy…on my soul? I don’t deserve it…but I just can’t pray anymore, and-“ There was a long pause. “...I’m going to die alone.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a look of immense guilt on Rhea’s face, which she hid by bowing her head. “I promise I will tell Her, Edelgard.” Abruptly, a memory danced in the Archbishop’s green eyes. “No. I…I remember you…you were that child who asked me to talk to the Goddess-“ She looked at her captor in horror. “What happened? You had such immense faith-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It…” The Flame Emperor stiffened. “Faith relies on hope-like a flower requires water.” She opened the door to the cell, and began to walk away. “Five years ago, the last fragment of hope in my heart withered and died.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As the Emperor left the Archbishop alone in the dungeons, the only sound that could be heard was the steady, regular beat of rain against the palace walls.</em>
</p><p>Edelgard awoke with a start, the awful vision of her future shattering into thousands of tiny shards. It was quicksilver, slipping through the princess’ grasp the more desperately she tried to hold on to it. All she could remember of the vision was the sense of crushing loneliness, and the creeping doom that awaited her.</p><p>She knew that Byleth had not been feeling well lately, having collapsed in front of Jeralt. During such a stressful moment, Edelgard did not want to bother her teacher unnecessarily. She decided to use a familiar coping strategy, one she had perfected and honed over a lifetime-throwing herself into her work.</p><p>She knocked on Hubert’s door, and was completely unsurprised to see Hubert still up and dressed. She <em>was </em>surprised at the drink he carried in his hands.</p><p>“Coffee, Hubert? At this hour?”</p><p>Her retainer smirked. “Better than the ghastly tea Ferdinand continues to force on me…” He bowed, and extended his hand to offer Edelgard entrance into his room. The princess shook her head.</p><p>“I was hoping we could take a walk.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As they walked toward the great bridge, Edelgard staggered momentarily. Hubert grabbed her shoulder gently, supporting her until she could reach the ramparts. To show such weakness in front of her closest ally…</p><p>“You look unwell…it’s because of what’s happening at Remire, isn’t it?”</p><p>Edelgard glared at her retainer, continually vexed by her inability to keep a secret from him. “Don’t… speak of it aloud.” In truth, her pain was not just the anguish of what was happening at Remire, but physical as well. She was loath to cause Hubert to fret over her any more, but whatever was affecting Byleth was likely also the source of Edelgard’s ill health.</p><p>“You can’t change the past.” Hubert, of course, likely had surmised all of it on his own. He attempted to reassure her, in characteristically analytical style. “For now, all we can do is use it to our advantage.”</p><p>“I know that.” Even out in the open air, it seemed as if the world was closing in on the princess. She sighed. “I also know that I must steel myself to ascend the Imperial throne.” For a moment, she thought back to the innocent brown-haired girl she once was, and a fresh wave of nausea overtook her.</p><p>Hubert failed to notice. “Those preparations are going well. Hevring has agreed to-“ He held up his hand quickly, his keen eyes peering into the dark. Before Edelgard realized, her retainer had produced a knife from his sleeve. He gave the princess a significant look, before whispering-“Someone is coming”</p><p>It was frightening how quickly Hubert’s posture and countenance had changed. <em>This is the world to which I’ve condemned him, </em>thought Edelgard reproachfully. An existence spent fretting about every stray shadow…one where each corner hid an assassin. It was no way to live.</p><p><em>If it’s Monica</em>…Edelgard tried in vain to see the approaching figure, only to see Hubert’s muscles relax, and his dagger quickly disappear. A small smile appeared on her retainer’s face, and he gave a deep bow.</p><p>“It is good to see you up and about, Professor.”</p><p>Byleth appeared out of the darkness, and greeted Hubert with a cheerful wave. Early on, the dark mage had been incredibly suspicious of the Black Eagles’ mysterious teacher, but over the months, the relationship had changed. Edelgard recognized something delightful, even if no one else could: Hubert was growing quite fond of Byleth.</p><p>Edelgard could remember the moment clearly-it was a class where Byleth had passionately argued that a small and well-trained phalanx was preferable to a large army. Hubert had scoffed, and made a sarcastic comment about the weaknesses of idealism. Rather than take offense, Byleth had simply grinned, and given a sincere, detailed response. With diagrams and examples, she had proposed using fast, well-trained horses and infantry to dictate when engagement should occur, while keeping the opponent off-balance.</p><p>It had left a great impression on Hubert. As he realized that Byleth’s gentle exterior hid a brilliant tactical mind, sardonic asides became sincere questions. The cursory tilt of his head gradually turned into a deeper bow. For a man who lived his life amidst a cloud of distrust and suspicion, he appeared genuinely appreciative of Byleth’s transparency and kindness.</p><p>Byleth, too, seemed to deeply enjoy Hubert’s company. The Ashen Demon had found a kindred spirit in the intimidating mage. Perhaps a life set apart had taught them to look beyond surface appearances. It had become a regular sight-the odd pair walking the grounds of Garreg Mach, Byleth quietly absorbing Hubert’s sober assessment of the continent’s politics.</p><p>The day that Edelgard had cut through the monastery gardens, and discovered Hubert and Byleth quietly laughing over tea and coffee was one of Edelgard’s most treasured memories. They were two of the most important people in the world to her…their strange friendship brought her immense joy.</p><p>Byleth’s face was paler than normal, a symptom of her ongoing dizzy spells. When she saw Edelgard was with Hubert, the mercenary gave her dear friend an enthusiastic nod. She leaned a calloused hand against the stone pillars of the bridge.</p><p>“I couldn’t sleep. Manuela keeps saying I need rest, but Remire was-” She shook her head. “Papa and I…we didn’t have a home, really. But the people in Remire were always so nice to us.”</p><p>Edelgard sighed, and avoided Hubert’s eyes. Long ago, when the Flame Emperor had plotted her fateful bandit attack, she had planned for a contingency. If she lost control of the bandits, she had discovered there was a famous mercenary living in a small town on the fringes of the Empire.</p><p>Everything that was now happening to the people of Remire could be traced back to Edelgard’s decision. The guilt was more than she could bear. “My teacher, I heard about our mission for this month.” The words came out awkwardly, and Byleth did not respond, still staring into the distance.</p><p>“With what is happening in Remire Village…” Edelgard shook her head, faltering over the words. “That’s where you were when we first met. This feels like fate.”</p><p>Byleth began to smile at the memory. “Fate…I’m surprised to hear you say that.” She turned away from the stars overhead, and looked at her friends. “If it is…destiny, then I suppose I should be grateful…” She trailed off, clearly preoccupied.</p><p>In what Edelgard realized was an attempt at kindness, Hubert attempted to pull his teacher’s mind out of despondency. “Are the knights making progress with their investigations?” He was fully aware, of course, but he was also concerned for Byleth.</p><p>“They are…”</p><p>Hubert nodded in approval. “If what is happening at Remire is by design, or…fate.” A look of disgust passed over his hawkish features. “There must be someone pulling the strings.” He said it to Byleth as if <em>he</em> were the teacher, imparting an important lesson to his student.</p><p>Byleth’s face remained fixated on the stone bridge beneath her feet. “This is beyond me, Hubert. I’m a mercenary. I’ve never had to think about the how and the why…” She looked between Edelgard and Hubert nervously. “What do you both think? I just feel lately that…that you two are some of the only people I can trust.”</p><p>The conspirators exchanged a meaningful glance. Edelgard felt a twisting knot in her stomach, not from her Crest, but from overwhelming remorse. Unable to look into Byleth’s trusting eyes, the princess pretended to be lost in thought. Hubert, luckily, was more adept at the art of deceit.</p><p>“Well, there is the Death Knight, of course… And the mysterious mages who were implicated with the Western Church.” He began to tick off the suspects carefully and dispassionately. “They showed up when Flayn was kidnapped as well. And now there is another strange occurrence near the monastery.”</p><p>“But why?” thought Byleth aloud. “Why continue to attack Garreg Mach? It makes no sense strategically. The Church is so formidable. If they just wanted power, Faerghus is falling apart, the Alliance is always fighting…” She turned to Hubert as a realization flashed in her azure eyes. “But it isn’t about that. They-“</p><p>The dark mage was clearly impressed. “I agree. It seems an unknown organization hopes to make the monastery a stage for something.” Hubert idly conjured a ball of purple energy between his fingertips. “I believe this is much larger and more personal than questions of money, or land. These attacks are symbolic.”</p><p>Byleth nodded, before turning to Edelgard. Despite her ill health, she was clearly concerned for the princess. “Edelgard…you’ve been quiet. Are you…feeling okay? After the other night?”</p><p>Before Garreg Mach, no one had ever asked her that simple question. It was a problem Edelgard had learned to ignore. Her feelings, her sadness…they prevented her from doing what must be done. So she buried her grief down deep where no one could find it, and ignored the sting in her heart. She had divested herself from all emotion, all attachment. How she felt…was irrelevant.</p><p>If she had known Byleth, all those years ago…perhaps she could have been different. Better. Kinder. But such speculations were pointless.</p><p>Edelgard smiled at the thoughtfulness of her teacher, and reached out her hand. Their fingers delicately and carefully interwove, before grasping each other tightly. It was a refuge in the turbulent storm of their lives. The princess took a deep breath.</p><p>“Do you believe that all these incidents are connected, Professor?”</p><p>Byleth was startled by the question. She turned away from the stars, and gave Edelgard a piercing stare. “Not... completely.”</p><p>Edelgard blanched at an answer she did not expect. “Oh? You…you don’t?” She swallowed, and glanced back at Hubert, who gave an encouraging nod. “If you don’t mind me asking…why?”</p><p>The mercenary put her other hand to her chin, as if listening for advice. The princess could not help but wonder if it had anything to do with Byleth’s strange solitary “conversation” she had recently witnessed.</p><p>“I keep thinking about the Death Knight…the first time we fought, he just observed instead of helping, even when we were routing the Western Church. And he was strong enough to kill-“ Byleth shuddered as if relieving a truly dreadful memory. She lurched forward, and gripped the side of her head in frustration. “It’s just…not making sense.” Edelgard quickly steadied her teacher, clutching Byleth’s shoulder tightly.</p><p>Hubert cleared his throat. “A fascinating thought, Professor. You continually impress me. Still…” His figure remained ramrod straight. “Until we can bring these mysterious figures out of the dark, and into the light…I fear your ideas can remain only theories.”</p><p>“Actually, my teacher, I agree with you.” Byleth and Hubert both turned in surprise. “While it certainly appears that all these events are connected by a single thread.” Edelgard grabbed Byleth, her lilac eyes trying desperately to communicate the truths she could not say.<em>“</em>…I think it’s possible it may just be a result of different motives overlapping.”</p><p>
  <em>Please Byleth… someday…I hope you’ll understand.</em>
</p><p>Byleth gave Edelgard a skeptical look. “But…even if they have different goals-“ A quiet rage disturbed the mercenary’s normally serene aura. “They’re still allowing it to happen. Allying themselves with evil people. I can’t-” She shook her head. “It’s wrong.”</p><p>Edelgard’s mind burned in shame, Her teacher’s simple words cut through the thousands of speeches and rationalizations the princess had built in her head. She was right. If she wanted Byleth’s trust, she had to begin to distance herself from Thales.</p><p>The princess sighed. “My teacher, are you living…the life you imagined?”</p><p>“I don’t understand.”</p><p>“As Imperial princess, I have already made so many compromises…” Edelgard lowered her head, mourning the innocent girl that could no long be. “I do not like the person I am. But it has taught me something vital.”</p><p>Byleth listened to the princess’ words, before nodding slowly.</p><p>“History has an ebb and flow. King Loog was a rebel, just like Lord Lonato. Both men believed that their rebellion was justified-even sanctified by the Goddess…” Edelgard tried to ignore the pained look Byleth was giving her. “Yet one man is a legendary king, and the other, a traitor and a heretic.”</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “Are you saying that none of it matters? That you believe that might makes right?” There was a quiet nervousness in her voice.</p><p>“No.” Edelgard felt herself drowning. She must not destroy her teacher’s trust…she could not lose the raft to which she now clung desperately. “I will always fight on behalf of the weak and the powerless. I promise you. But…” She gathered herself. “If you think of people as simply enemies or allies, it may be impossible to grasp the truth.”</p><p>Byleth’s gaze flittered between Hubert and Edelgard. “But…I have fought alongside you, you have protected me. I…care for you both.” She looked deeply distressed. “If we aren’t allies…then what are we?”</p><p>“Friends.” The answer slipped from the princess’ throat so effortlessly. It was a simple truth, easily said, yet so necessary. “Always.”</p><p>Byleth was momentarily relived, before an even greater wave of fear crossed her face. “And, even if we don’t agree…we’ll still be…friends?” She was excruciatingly vulnerable.</p><p>Edelgard reached out, and touched her teacher’s cheek with tenderness. She knew well the terrible burden of being alone. “Even if we meet on the battlefield…I will always…<em>always…</em>care for you, my teacher.”</p><p>For a moment, there was silence, before Byleth turned to Hubert, a sly smile on her face. “You’d miss me too, right?”</p><p>Hubert let out a low chuckle. “Yes, Professor, I suppose I would. Who else would talk to me without fleeing in terror?” He gave a look of mock disgust “Imagine if I only had Linhardt, or even worse…Ferdinand, to talk to?’</p><p>“You’d be even more of an insufferable worrywart.” At the unexpected noise, Byleth and Edelgard jumped. Even Hubert, though he did not flinch, was taken by surprise. The three Eagles turned, to see the intruder who had appeared behind Hubert’s back.</p><p>“Shamir,” Hubert rolled his eyes in disgust. “Your skills continue to impress me…and pose a threat to Lady Edelgard’s safety.”</p><p>Far from being concerned, Edelgard had great respect for Shamir. As both a Knight of Seiros, and a Dagdan, Edelgard should have been deeply suspicious of her intentions. Yet Shamir was candid, and competent, while harboring an obvious distaste for the trappings of nobility. Her indifference to her retainer’s threats was an amusing bonus.</p><p>Shamir hummed absentmindedly in response to Hubert’s taunts, to the mage’s obvious consternation. The knight gave a brisk nod to Edelgard before turning to Byleth. “You shouldn’t be out of bed this late. I just got the word from above. We’re leaving for Remire tomorrow.”</p><p>Byleth smiled, and placed her hand on the archer’s shoulder. “Thanks for letting me know. You’re the only person who worries about me more than Edelgard.”</p><p>“I like working with you, and I already lost one talented partner.” Shamir’s face remained stoic. “I don’t like them sending you off like this, while you’re still recovering.” She turned to the princess. “Mind if I came along?”</p><p>This, in truth, was the real reason for Edelgard’s fondness for the Dagdan. After Byleth had come to the monastery, Shamir had taken Byleth under her wing, and the two mercenaries had built a close friendship. Even now, she was a regular guest at Byleth’s lectures.</p><p>“After seeing you in action at Derdriu, it’d be a pleasure to have your bow.” Edelgard turned and gestured at Byleth merrily. “You know full well that she has no self-preservation. I could use all the help I can get.”</p><p>Shamir gave Edelgard a small, rare grin. “You’re not wrong. Thanks, princess.” She turned to Byleth and smiled. “Get some sleep.”</p><p>The archer turned to walk away, when Hubert stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “You should take care to properly address Lady Edelgard in the future. Otherwise I will be forced-”</p><p>Shamir carefully pulled Hubert’s arm off her person. “Right. I’ll be sure to call Edelgard…Lady Edelgard next time.” She turned to the princess, an apathetic expression on her face. “Is that good with you, Edelgard?”</p><p>The princess snorted with laughter, and nodded happily. Shamir gave a wave of acknowledgement to Byleth and Edelgard, and turned back to Hubert. “Words are cheap. Show me you can back up all the dramatics tomorrow.”</p><p>In a moment, she had retreated back into the darkness. Edelgard looked at Hubert’s stunned face, before giving Byleth a knowing smirk. “I see why you like her. I haven’t seen Hubert that flustered since I had to teach him how to waltz.” The two women began to giggle, as Hubert attempted to hide the now-scarlet color of his cheeks.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard had slept fitfully, knowing full well what likely awaited the Black Eagles at Remire. After they saw the people she was forced-no, that she <em>chose</em> to ally herself with…The princess was finding it more and more difficult to imagine anyone walking her path.</p><p>Of all the villages in the Empire, they had chosen to attack Byleth’s hometown…it was not a coincidence. This was an attempt to damn Edelgard by association, just like with Monica-a charge that she found difficult to dispute. As the Flame Emperor looked in the mirror, she frowned. The bags under her eyes were becoming impossible to ignore. Between the visions and dreams of her doomed future and her ever-growing guilt, so much of her life was spinning out of control.</p><p>
  <em>*BANG!*</em>
</p><p>Edelgard felt her pulse quicken, and placed her hand over her heart. <em>Who </em>would knock that loudly this early in the morning? It sounded like the visitor was using their entire forearm to bang on the door. Edelgard blundered toward the sound, only to see an unexpected guest.</p><p>“Is it true? You’re leaving for Remire today?” Lysithea barged in without so much as a greeting. Edelgard quickly closed the door. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach about where this conversation was leading.</p><p>“Yes…the situation in Remire has worsened, and the Black Eagles-“</p><p>“I don’t care about what the Church says, Edelgard.” Lysithea looked at the princess, passion consuming her pink eyes. “I was talking to Linhardt about it, and…what’s happening to the villagers. He thinks that it’s dark magic.”</p><p>For a moment, Lysithea and Edelgard looked at each other quietly. The precocious mage finally lost her patience and began to tap her feet. “Well…we don’t have all day! Is it them?”</p><p>“Yes.” Edelgard sighed with regret. “I am confident that it is.”</p><p>Both Edelgard and Lysithea were fully aware of what this meant, yet neither wanted to say the terrifying words out loud. To speak of it would give their tormentors power-power that the young nobles had fought and scratched to take back for themselves.</p><p>The two victims had taken the debris of their shattered lives-molded it, used it to rebuild small havens where they could hide with their grief. They would never feel the same again, but at least the normalcy, the numbness, was preferable to the terror and agony they had experienced.</p><p>And then…just when they were beginning to accept this new normal, as sharp memories began to turn to a dull ache, this new crisis had arisen. Shown that there truly was no safe place from the terrible burden of their pasts.</p><p>Lysithea could not stand the silence a moment longer. “When you go to Remire…if it is the mages who…” She paused, and clenched her fist in rage. “What are you going to do?”</p><p>Edelgard turned away, and looked out the window. If she attacked her allies now, disrupted their plans, it could turn the simmering hostilities between her and Thales into an open war. Monica was still loose in the monastery. It would put her own plans and schemes, not to mention her classmates, in terrible jeopardy.</p><p>The princess stopped, and thought about the awful pain in Byleth’s expression. She thought of the innocent villagers. She thought of Lysithea, looking in a mirror and not recognizing her own bleached hair. She thought of her siblings. And…she thought of El.</p><p>The Flame Emperor turned back to Lysithea, a fire burning in her eyes. “I’m going to kill as many of them as I can.”</p><p>“Perfect.” The mage gave Edelgard an approving nod, as she conjured a spell in her hands. “Let’s go. ”</p><p>“Lysithea, you aren’t in our house. And besides…”</p><p>“Then I’m transferring to the Black Eagles. Here. Now. You can tell Professor Byleth. I will not just sit around and wait to die!” Lysithea’s eyes were stern, as she jabbed her finger toward the princess. Edelgard reached out and grabbed her young friend’s hand tightly.</p><p>“Do you know… how long…?” Edelgard’s voice was hollow. As the determined princess faltered, Lysithea’s strong façade crumbled. Suddenly, she was not the gifted mage who had every answer, but a young girl whose life had been callously taken from her.</p><p>“If I’m very lucky…I’ll make it to thirty.” The words defied all logic. All sense. How could fate be so terribly cruel? How could the Goddess be deaf to this suffering? Lysithea looked up at Edelgard. “And you?”</p><p>“I believe they had refined the process by the time they…” The princess shook her head. “Thirty-five, or forty, at the latest.”</p><p>“Then…you understand.” Scarred hands squeezed each other tightly. “There’s so much I’m going to miss out on, Edelgard… Growing old, falling in love…having children…” Lysithea rubbed away the tears glistening in her eyes. “I need this. I need to make them pay.”</p><p>That was the terrible truth about revenge. One that Edelgard had realized long ago. Every children’s book, every fable described the awful cost of vengeance. How it left one empty. How it stained the soul black as night.</p><p>But no story every discussed the terrible weight of watching your tormentors roam free. To know that while you lived in pain, they never thought of you at all. To cry to the heavens for justice, and be met with a mocking silence. It left one’s soul just as smeared and tarnished. Just as black.</p><p>She would not leave Lysithea to face that terrible darkness alone.</p><p>“I must admit…the Black Eagles have had a number of students join our house…” said Edelgard, the corners of her lips slowly rising. “…But I think this makes me happiest of all.”</p><p>“I’m glad, Edelgard.” The grief and anger in Lysithea’s eyes slowly vanished, replaced by consolation and joy. “There’s no one I’d rather fight alongside.”</p><p>“It won’t just be us on the battlefield. Today, we fight in honor of both the Ordelias and the Hresvelgs." Edelgard’s smile was bittersweet. “I know our siblings will be fighting with us too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-It's a real shame that Edelgard and Rhea never really talk outside of battle dialogue. As a huge Edelgard stan, I'd like to take a moment to say how great Rhea is as well. She's a really wonderful character, and an amazing deconstruction of Tiki, in particular. When I thought about adding visions of Silver Snow to this story, the idea of "Edelgard and Rhea talk and bond about being survivors" was one of the first things that came to mind.</p><p>-There's a great psychological ghost/horror story in the tradition of Yellow Wallpaper/Turn of the Screw with post-AM Dimitri being haunted by Edelgard that I wouldn't have the emotional energy to write.</p><p>-So, interesting little thing. Ferdinand mentions in some monastery dialogue about how strange it was that the lords just happened to run into Byleth and Jeralt at Remire. He speculates that one of the lords must have known, and been ready to go there if things went south. When Edelgard meets Byleth, she recognizes Jeralt as a famous mercenary, and Remire's in the Empire...</p><p>-I have a total blast writing Lysithea and Shamir.</p><p>-Thank you all for the comments and kudos! Stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Scorched by Flames</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were so many words that could be used to describe Edelgard von Hresvelg. Ruthless. Haughty. Detached. Each a small expression of the great chasm between the Flame Emperor and the rest of humanity. One could certainly <em>admire</em> Edelgard-but love? That strange mixture of weakness and vulnerability and trust? No, she had given up on that silly dream, long, long ago. </p><p>As she marched inevitably toward her destiny, she understood the cost. In the end, there would be no celebrations of the Flame Emperor’s life, no gentle speeches or glowing eulogies. Edelgard’s legacy would not lie in what she had given to the world, but what she had taken away. History would memorialize her as a warmonger and a killer. A destroyer.</p><p>Fódlan was a kindling of millennia-old grudges and tensions, and she was the match that would set it alight. A fire that would cleanse the rot at the heart of the continent, before burning itself out. One could respect such a destructive force, even see the stark magnificence in it, but it could never be loved. Only feared. </p><p>But inside the hollowed-out shell of the Flame Emperor, under all the speeches, and the ideologies, and the dogma, there was something else. That armor protected something small and fragile, a beautiful little secret: Edelgard von Hresvelg had the soul of a romantic. </p><p>Perhaps it was because she felt so ugly, so unworthy, but Edelgard was a true aesthetic. For all her fatalism and cynicism, she believed in life like few people could. She cherished the way an operatic solo could hold a deeper truth, unable to be captured in mere words. Treasured the dazzling array of colors in a solitary autumn walk. She had seen the darkness at the heart of existence; it had taught her that each sunrise was a truly precious gift.</p><p>Carefully hidden under a stack of treatises on the princess’ desk, she kept a few stray sheets of parchment. So many nights, the Goddess would ignore the heretic’s desperate prayers, her pleas for warm hands to chase away the cold dark. When Edelgard felt the strangling loneliness remove the air from her lungs, she would draw. A tranquil river, or a carnation in bloom.  All the Flame Emperor, the great weapon, truly wanted was to create. Make something beautiful and pure. So different from her.</p><p>She thought back to that crisp, cool night in Remire Village so many months ago. She remembered the peaceful wind blowing through the ageless forest. The quaint farmhouses where peasants lived, far removed from the intricacies and quandaries of noble life.</p><p>In a better world, one where Edelgard’s head was not heavy with the crown, and her soul had remained unsullied…she would have liked to live in a place like Remire. Wander the gently sloping hills with sketchbook in hand. But as with all things in Edelgard’s life, her presence had corrupted it. Her cursed, poisoned touch had destroyed this beautiful village.</p><p>She could hear the screams, long before she saw Remire. Shrieks of terror. Cries of pain and anguish. And worst of all, shouts of crazed, brutal rage. The Black Eagles marched forward, trying desperately to ignore the atrocities that lay just out of their vision. </p><p>Edelgard turned to look at her classmates. Most, like Dorothea, were struggling to remain resolute, as they drew closer and closer to the source of the massacre. Marianne was praying fervently, while Bernadetta’s entire body spasmed with each step, her mind and body at war with one another. They all looked so scared, and shaken. They all looked so dreadfully <em>young</em>.</p><p>The Eisners were just in front of the princess, but they had not spoken a word. There was no sign of outward distress on Jeralt’s jaded, world-weary face. However, a keen observer could not fail to notice how often he reached for the flask on his belt. Nor could they ignore the way his head twisted toward his daughter every few seconds.</p><p>And Byleth…Edelgard knew her teacher intimately. She studied her light like a painter observed a landscape. Today, Byleth was different. There was a subtle hunch in her posture. A hand tightly bound to the Sword of the Creator. As a twig had snapped nearby, Byleth’s face had turned swiftly, and Edelgard could see none of the warmth and kindness she treasured so dearly. It was clear that the Ashen Demon had returned.</p><p>As they rounded the gently sloping gravel path that led to the village, the princess braced herself for what lay ahead. Felt her breath quicken. But even the hardened, cruel Flame Emperor was not prepared for what she saw.</p><p>The village was devastated. Many of the buildings had already collapsed, and the flames were consuming what remained in a terrible, wild dance. Black smoke sat over Remire like a funeral shroud. Whatever wreckage was left would be burned to ash before the day was through.</p><p>As the Black Eagles watched in horror, a woman crawled atop a man’s body, and began to scratch and claw his face with appalling ferocity. The awful screeching originating from her throat was a sound no human being should ever make. She was attacking with such viciousness that her own hands had become gnarled and twisted from the force.</p><p>Edelgard felt an arrow fly past her ears. It buried itself in the woman’s neck, and she collapsed into the mud with a sickening gurgling sound. Her victim did not get up.</p><p>“Damn it.” Shamir’s normally emotionless voice was deeply shaken. She put down her bow and looked at Jeralt and Byleth. “This is…”</p><p>“Disgusting.” Even a hardened mercenary like Jeralt was stunned by the carnage. “What could have…”</p><p>Byleth examined the bodies sadly. She turned toward Jeralt, with a mournful look in her blue eyes. “It’s the shopkeeper. Marta. She was always so nice…” The Ashen Demon shook her head. “Sometimes she’d give me a treat when-”</p><p>Edelgard turned away,  Byleth’s pain condemning the Flame Emperor like nothing else could. <em>What have I done? I… I made a promise…that no one else would suffer like I-</em> The Flame Emperor covered her hand with her mouth, appalled with herself.</p><p>It had been a twisting, gradual descent. Once, Edelgard had unwaveringly resolved to make Fódlan free. Vows so easily made. But then had come the dirty, messy business of building a better world. And along with it, the terrible compromises. Day by day, the sacrifices had become greater, and ideals had slipped like mercury through the Flame Emperor’s grasp.</p><p>She felt a hard-skinned hand on her shoulder. Byleth was shattered, desperately clutching the area around her heart. “This was my home.” She needed Edelgard at this moment-needed support and comfort as her world burned around her. </p><p>But Edelgard was could not escape her own self-pity. Selfishly, she broke away from Byleth, the guilt from her teacher’s touch burning like fire. “I’m so sorry, my teacher… I-” The princess surveyed the carnage, as a child screamed for help in the distance. “Damn it all to hell!” At her outburst, Edelgard’s face fell with shame. “Forgive my vulgarity. I…lost control.”</p><p>
  <em>Calm yourself. You are an Emperor. The Black Eagles are relying on you.</em>
</p><p>Byleth nodded uncertainly, eyes still fixed on Edelgard. She called in the Black Eagles, as well as Jeralt and Shamir. “We need to spread out and save as many people as possible.” </p><p>“If I may, Professor…” At Hubert’s polite intonation, the Black Eagles turned toward the lanky mage. “I do not believe that your hometown was chosen at random.” </p><p>“What do you mean?!” Jeralt’s voice barked loudly over the clamor. </p><p>“There are hundreds of small villages just like this one…all across Fódlan.” Hubert gestured with his hand. “Why choose a village so close to Garreg Mach? Why a place with such little strategic value-“</p><p>Jeralt grabbed Hubert’s collar, rage overwhelming him. “These people were my neighbors! Don’t tell me about strategic-“</p><p>“He’s right, Jeralt.” Shamir’s hand pulled Jeralt back. “Let him finish.” She nodded at Hubert, who gently brushed the front of his coat.</p><p>Hubert stared at Byleth intensely. “Whoever is behind these attacks wanted you…the woman who wields the Sword of the Creator, here to witness it.” For a moment, Hubert’s gaze met Edelgard’s. “If we allow our anger to overwhelm us, we risk walking into a trap.”</p><p>The Black Eagles looked at each other for moment, waiting for word from either Byleth or Edelgard. Finally, the Ashen Demon looked away from the bodies of the people she had once known, a new resolve in her azure eyes.</p><p>“Hubert is right. Find a partner. Mages and archers with melee units. We stay in groups of four.” She turned to Linhardt, Flayn, and Caspar. “Stay at the front of the village, and we’ll send survivors to you.” She turned to Caspar and gave the young brawler a grim smile. “If anyone suspicious tries to attack the healers…you know what to do.”</p><p>Many of the Black Eagles fell into their usual partnerships-Petra and Dorothea, Ferdinand and Marianne, Byleth and Shamir. Ingrid and Hubert had quickly joined together, their eternally practical attitudes a harmonious combination. Bernadetta also seemed oddly comfortable around Sylvain, even allowing him to playfully rustle her messy hair.</p><p>Edelgard felt a hand on her back, and turned around to see Lysithea. An unspoken understanding passed between the two experiments.</p><p>“I’ll rein in the violent ones. The top priority is the villagers’ safety...Got it?” Jeralt gave them all a nod, and without another word, charged his men deep into the black smog.</p><p>For a moment, the Black Eagles looked at one another, the strange little family unable to express how much they had come to mean to one another. Finally, it was Edelgard who found her voice. </p><p>“Everyone comes home. Understand?”</p><p>There was no need for further speeches, and the Black Eagles ran forward into the darkness.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard’s ax cleaved into the crazed villager’s side, marking the Flame Emperor’s uniform with blood. His body collapsed to earth, limbs askew. As he lay on the ground, he weakly grabbed his killer’s arm, and held it anxiously.</p><p>“It…hurts.” Sanity had returned to his eyes. “Please…Mother…”</p><p>Edelgard looked at the villager. He probably would be around the same age as…her brother would have been now... She remembered watching Otto’s life slowly fade, as he begged desperately for his mother. El had not known what to do…what little girl could? All she could do was cry and pray as she held his hand. Tears that did not help. Prayers that were not answered.</p><p>The villager’s body tightened as he fought desperately for life. Edelgard reached out her hand and told a terrible, necessary lie. “It’s okay…” she said calmly. “Mom’s here…” Instantly, the boy’s body relaxed, and his frantic breathing began to slow. </p><p>Then she said the words that eluded her all those years ago. The words she wished her brother could have heard. Edelgard gently rubbed the boy’s hand. “You’ve been very, very brave. You don’t have to fight anymore... It’s all right.” At those words, a tranquil expression fell over the young man’s face. His breaths became increasingly erratic, before finally, mercifully, stopping.</p><p>She felt a calloused hand gently touch her neck. “Edelgard…” Byleth’s normally flat voice broke. “Are you-“</p><p>“This isn’t about me, my teacher.” The Emperor stood and brushed her shoulder, unable to meet Lysithea or Byleth’s eyes. She paused to collect herself. “We must stop this disgraceful-“ </p><p>Suddenly, an ear-splitting scream assaulted their ears. Shamir turned, and pointed toward one of the village’s burning husks. “There.”</p><p>The group had still not found any survivors. Byleth and Edelgard avoided looking at each other, each afraid to express the logical conclusion.</p><p>Edelgard looked at Byleth and Shamir. “Lysithea and l will handle it. Keep looking.” </p><p>The two Eagles moved cautiously into the building. In such a confined area, horrible memories began to assault Edelgard’s mind-the suffocating and stale air, the terrible smell of dried blood…the screams of pain. All so familiar.</p><p>Edelgard looked in what had once been a family’s home. Around what remained of a collapsed fireplace, there were the remains of a rocking chair, and other remnants of a destroyed life. How many nights had this family sat and laughed…and now it had all been…</p><p>“Edelgard.” Lysithea touched her classmate’s shoulder lightly, and pointed toward the kitchen. The beams had collapsed, blocking off access, but a hand could be seen underneath mountains of rubble.</p><p>There was only one path forward, and as they followed it, the scream appeared again. They broke into a run, turned the corner, and saw it. </p><p>There was a young girl, around ten or eleven, huddling in the corner. A hooded figure loomed above her, as purple tendrils of dark magic coiled around his arm. With a cry of immense rage, Lysithea threw a spell into the strange figure’s back. He flew headfirst into the wall, and was still.</p><p>The young girl began to sob. “Where’s my brother? Where’s my dad?” She was covered in cuts and bruises, and the expression on her face was one of sheer terror. The princess knelt, and gave what she hoped was a calming smile. </p><p>“My name’s Edelgard…” She reached out her hand slowly, to avoid traumatizing the child further. “And this is my very good friend Lysithea. Can you tell me yours?” </p><p>The girl nodded. “It’s…my name is Agnes.” </p><p>Edelgard blinked frantically. “That’s… a pretty name. My sister’s name is Agnes.” The princess felt Lysithea’s hand quickly grab her shoulder, giving her the strength to continue. “Can you be very brave, Agnes, and tell me what you’ve seen?”</p><p>The girl looked over at the mage on the floor. “There were…a lot of guys…with weird robes, and an old man with a funny cane. And then everyone started yelling and I-“ She began to wail pitifully. </p><p>Edelgard put a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Lysithea’s going to take you back to meet some of my other friends, all right? They’ll help keep you safe.” Her classmate gave an expression of protest, but Edelgard’s face remained firm. “I have some questions for this man...“</p><p>Lysithea nodded, and slowly guided the petrified child out of the ruins. As soon as they were gone, the Flame Emperor’s expression darkened. She grabbed the mage, and slapped his face with chilling force.</p><p>“Get up.”</p><p>For a moment, he looked around in confusion, before his eyes refocused on his captor.</p><p>“Ah…Flame Emperor…How nice to see you. Though I am disappointed that I couldn’t also say hello to the Ordelia-“ </p><p>Edelgard slammed the man into the wall violently, his head rebounding with a loud crack. “Where is he?”</p><p>The pale man feigned ignorance, but his mocking black eyes told the truth. “Whoever do you mean?“</p><p>Edelgard grabbed the man’s arm and violently twisted it, causing him to scream in pain. As he whimpered, holding his shattered arm at a disturbing angle, her face remained expressionless. “The girl told me there was a man with a cane. Where’s Solon?”</p><p>The mage panted through the pain and sneered. “Is this why you sent the Ordelia girl away? Scared to show her what you really are?”</p><p>For a moment, Edelgard looked down. The princess had a vision …a world where humanity was free. Where anyone could cut their own path, free from the tyranny of bloodlines, Crests, and divine fate. Yet to do so, the Flame Emperor had accepted a destiny that she hated. Put aside the peaceful, trivial dreams she held in her heart.</p><p>The sensitive little artist had become a ruthless conqueror, a destructive flame that would burn even the gods. She had darkened her soul, sacrificed so many lives, and prepared herself to sacrifice so many more. Walked a path of madness and death, so no little girl ever would again. </p><p>The Flame Emperor’s voice was cold and unforgiving. “There is <em>nothing</em> I will not sacrifice for Fódlan’s new dawn. That is what you made me. That is who I am.” </p><p>“You will fail, little girl. What we have learned here in Remire has unlocked the Forbidden Spell. The Fell Star will-”</p><p>Edelgard pulled her dagger from her belt and thrust it into the man’s chest. The man gasped and grabbed her student uniform in a frenzy, until his black eyes became glassy. He slumped to the floor, unblinking stare still locked on the princess. She quietly wiped off her dagger on his robes, and walked toward the door, leaving the house to the dead.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><br/>
Edelgard had saved three more villagers, but remained unable to locate Byleth and Shamir. She ran toward the back of the village, consumed with worry for her teacher. She walked past the flaming ruins of a farmhouse in a daze. If any of the Eagles were hurt… </p><p>With a tremendous crash, the building’s wall collapsed, and a frenzied villager leapt out with an inhuman screech. He dove onto Edelgard’s back, driving her to her knees. The princess was remarkably strong, but even she could not shrug off a grown man’s weight. The man’s arm was on fire, yet he made no effort to save himself, only tightening his grip on her neck harder. </p><p>Suddenly, the tremendous pressure around her windpipe relaxed, and her lungs eagerly gulped down the gift of air. She slowly turned around, expecting to see Byleth, or Jeralt, or one of her friends. But it was something different. Something worse.</p><p>“…What are you trying to do here?” The figure stood atop his black steed, his sickle still dripping with the villager’s blood. </p><p>Edelgard tried to stand, before collapsing back to her knees. “I could ask you the same question, <em>Jeritza</em>.” Her subordinate twitched at the use of his other alias. Edelgard steadied herself and rose. “You shouldn’t be here…they’re going to think we’re involved in-“</p><p>An arrow flew past Edelgard’s head, before bouncing off the specter’s armor. The Death Knight turned his head, and even his unfeeling mask seemed to radiate with joy. “Just as Solon promised…<em>She</em> is here.”</p><p>“GET AWAY FROM HER!” Byleth shot into Edelgard’s vision like a projectile, the Sword of the Creator meeting the Death Knight’s scythe. The two weapons crashed and collided with blinding speed, as Edelgard could only watch helplessly. She tried to move forward, but Shamir’s arm held her back.</p><p>As the two rivals blocked one another’s attacks, the Death Knight leaned his face toward the mercenary. “You have not embraced your strength…prove it and kill me with that blade …” He shoved Byleth backward and prepared to slash with his weapon. Unexpectedly, the ground began to rumble, and the phantom looked around in confusion.</p><p>A burst of purple spikes seemed to erupt from the earth itself. The jagged needles burst directly underneath the Death Knight’s steed, creating a massive explosion. Lysithea stood, arms extended, somehow imposing even at her diminutive stature. There was a look of total disgust on her face. </p><p>“You were outmatched.”</p><p>A massive cloud of debris and dust enveloped the combatants. For a moment, earth and soot was all Edelgard could see. And then, two red eyes cut through the haze. The Death Knight staggered forward toward Lysithea.</p><p>“You are not the prey I seek.” He raised his sickle to strike, but Shamir dived forward and knocked Lysithea out of the way. The Sword of the Creator flashed through the air, pinning the Death Knight’s scythe in the earth. For a moment, he paused, before nodding his head in approval. “Rapturous.”</p><p>Like lightning, his arm reached out and collided with Byleth’s stomach, knocking her backwards. She recovered quickly, bobbing and weaving to avoid her opponent’s weapon. It was an equal contest, until a burst of dark magic exploded at Byleth’s feet.</p><p>Another dark mage had appeared behind the fighters, a fanatical gleam in his eye. “For our light! Death to the Fell Star!” he screamed with religious fervor, until an arrow from Shamir buried itself in his head.</p><p>Byleth stumbled momentarily, but that was all it took for the Death Knight’s scythe to find its target. Byleth staggered to her knees, a gash in her chest. The Death Knight raised his weapon.</p><p>“So ends our dance of death…the weak shall die...”</p><p>The princess started running before she even realized her legs were moving. For once in Edelgard’s life, her rational mind and secret, sensitive heart were not at war. For years, there had been nothing that Edelgard would not toss aside for her goals. Cast away for her ambitions. She had to live, if only to see her plans through.</p><p>But in that moment, Edelgard protected the one person for which she would sacrifice everything. Her arms wrapped around Byleth tightly, and she felt an immense pressure on her side. She looked down, and the Death Knight’s scythe was buried in her abdomen.</p><p>At first, everything hurt, with a pain beyond anything Edelgard had ever experienced. And then, thankfully…it didn’t anymore. Everything was numb. She could feel Byleth’s hand on her neck, supporting her. It felt…nice.</p><p>The Death Knight stood weaponless and stunned, until he was impaled on a set of purple spikes, his lifeless body hanging like a macabre doll. Lysithea ran forward and grabbed Edelgard’s hand tightly. </p><p>“EDELGARD!” She screamed, voice full of overwhelming despair. “YOU CAN’T!” Shamir grabbed her and pulled the distraught girl’s head away from the sight.</p><p>Her teacher was glassy-eyed. “I’m sorry, Edelgard…I’ll fix this...Just-” She closed her eyes with a look of intense concentration on her face.</p><p>The Flame Emperor reached out and stroked Byleth’s face. “My teacher...I have…to tell you…something important.” It was hard to breathe. </p><p>Byleth only nodded, clutching her chest tightly.</p><p>So much of the Flame Emperor’s life had been the struggle and the fight. Each day she battled was a small, precious victory. But now, here at the end…she could take off her mask. Wash off the blood that drowned her soul. She could just be El. </p><p>“I’m a terrible…person…” Edelgard coughed, the taste of copper building in her throat. “But…around you…I could pretend to be someone different…someone better… just for a little while…”</p><p>Byleth reluctantly opened her eyes, and gently ran her hand through Edelgard’s long hair.</p><p>“My teacher…I’m so glad to see your eyes…one more time... ” She gave a desperate, ragged inhale, as the world began to darken. “You were…my wings...” She focused on those blue eyes, and was at peace. “And I…will…always…love you…”</p><p>Byleth put her hand to her mouth, in shock and horror.</p><p>She looked up at the sky and screamed. </p><p>“SOTHIS!”</p><p>Edelgard felt like she was drowning…like a current was pulling her along. There was nothing she could do but go limp, and allow herself to be towed by this tremendous force.</p><p>And then, she was back. Watching the Death Knight and Byleth duel. The princess looked down at her side. There was no mark. It was if it…had never happened. <em>Wait…</em> The princess turned with a start-<em>the mage, he’s going to</em>- </p><p>Just as before, the hooded figure materialized. “For our-“ Before he could complete his boast, Edelgard’s ax collided with his chest.  The mage flew backwards into a tree, his bones shattering with a sickening crunch.</p><p>Edelgard turned, and saw Byleth parry a scythe attack and drive the Sword of the Creator through the Death Knight’s shoulder. The demon did not flinch. “Impressive. We will finish this…another day...” And in a flash of purple light, he was gone.</p><p>The princess stood in a daze. She bent over, hands on her knees, fighting the urge to vomit. It was all so real…Had she- Before she realized what was happening, two muscular arms were squeezing her tightly, desperately. She felt a head nuzzling her neck.</p><p>“Edelgard… you’re okay.” Byelth’s voice was so brittle and fragile. So human. “You’re safe…I...”</p><p>The princess looked up at her teacher warily. Did she…remember, somehow? Did she remember what Edelgard had said when-</p><p>“Byleth.” Shamir’s voice cut through the din. “We still have to finish this.” Her voice was hesitant, clearly confused by Byleth's outburst of emotion.</p><p>“Yes...of course.” Byleth finally and slowly released her vice-like grip, her eyes remaining on the princess. </p><p>“My teacher…” Edelgard’s calculated poise returned. “The person behind all this is Tomas, the librarian.”</p><p>“That’s impossible.” Shamir shook her head. “He’s been at the monastery for years-”</p><p>“That is because I am not Tomas!” A cold, fanatical voice echoed all around the group. At the top of the hill, the elderly librarian materialized. The sneer on the zealot’s face was one Edelgard was all too familiar with. “My name is Solon…the savior of humanity!”</p><p>Shamir and Lysithea fired arrows and spells up at the intruder, who deflected the projectiles with a simple wave of his hand. His cold eyes fell upon Lysithea. “Ah…the Ordelia girl…you are truly impressive. I must thank you.”</p><p>“I want nothing to do with you, you fiend,” spat the young mage.</p><p>“But without your family’s recommendation, I would never have been able to infiltrate Garreg Mach.” He paused for a moment. “But that disguise has long outlived his usefulness.”</p><p>Purple coils surrounded the librarian, ripping and tearing off pieces of his skin. It was a truly grotesque sight, and it took every ounce of strength Edelgard possessed to keep her focus on Solon, and not on painful memories of her uncle. </p><p>The pallid monster underneath Tomas’ disguise was immensely disturbing. His engorged skull, grey coloration, and the enlarged veins on his forehead were sickening. But the worst detail was his right eye, which had been replaced by a black abyss. A small, yellow iris was the only sign that it was not a piece of the void itself.</p><p>“What’s that? So shocked you can’t even speak?” Solon’s mocking voice echoed in Edelgard’s ears. “You were all so easily fooled by my disguise.” </p><p>Byleth snarled, and unleashed the Sword of the Creator. The instant before it would collide with the madman, he blinked out of existence. The four women quickly stood back-to-back, preparing for an ambush.</p><p>He appeared in front of Shamir.</p><p>“I’ve lain hidden in Garreg Mach…”</p><p>He vanished, before an arrow could hit him. Then he was in front of Lysithea.</p><p>“just to obtain the blood of that little girl called Flayn…”</p><p>Lysithea’s spell flew through the space where his head had been a second before.</p><p>“What did you want it for?” screamed Byleth. “Why do you keep attacking Garreg Mach?”</p><p>Solon stopped his flurry of teleporting, his eyes falling upon Byleth. “What a strange question, Fell Star...” He began to wheeze with derisive laughter. “You more than anyone should understand…I am not the only person hiding their true self…am I?” </p><p>As Edelgard quickly glanced in Byleth’s terrified eyes, it was clear that Solon’s taunts had deeply affected her. <em>She’s keeping secrets from me, too…</em></p><p>“Leave her alone!” yelled Edelgard ferociously.</p><p>“Hmm, the little emperor….always so protective of her precious teacher.” Solon’s face contorted with rage. “Would she still feel the same about you if she knew-“ </p><p>Edelgard whipped a handax at Solon in rage, which he deflected with complete indifference. </p><p>“If you insist on turning your blade against me, then expect no mercy.” Solon face’s contorted into a frightening snarl. “Still…” His gaze fell back to Byleth. “The experiment is not yet concluded. I must test her power.”</p><p>He raised his hands, and a horde of enraged villagers teleported behind him. They charged toward the group, arms and legs flailing wildly. Shamir and Lysithea’s projectiles eliminated three of the rabid attackers before they could reach the group, and Edelgard’s ax felled another.</p><p>With a frenzied shout, Byleth’s sword unfurled, slashing and tearing through the remaining swarm. Young and old, man or woman, they were all felled brutally by the Goddess’ sword. The mercenary’s face was eerily calm, with no sign of the turmoil that had consumed her a moment before. </p><p>“Impressive,” murmured Solon approvingly. “Such cursed might.” He raised his arm, and a barrage of dark magic shot toward the Ashen Demon. She dodged and spun, movement a graceful ballet. </p><p>“Within you is the power to drown everything, Fell Star!” Solon’s voice became filled with agitation. “This world must be cleansed of such inhuman-“ </p><p>A javelin ripped through the air, and buried itself in the dark mage’s shoulder, causing him to let out a horrible scream. Jeralt led a group of Church soldiers and Black Eagles. The Blade-Breaker pulled a sword from his scabbard. </p><p>“You bastard! Why did you target this village! What the hell are you plotting?!”</p><p>Solon’s face twisted with laughter. “We could have chosen anywhere for test subjects. But here…” His dark orbs fell on Byleth. “It has given me what I need…Allow me to excuse myself…”</p><p>And in a flash, he was gone.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I need the armor.” Edelgard looked at Hubert, trying to hide the rising anxiety in her voice. “Teleport me to Garreg Mach. I’ll use the suit to get back here.”</p><p>He shrugged his shoulders. “But will this not implicate the Flame Emperor in-”</p><p>“This isn’t a request, Hubert,” snarled the princess. “She thinks I’m checking the perimeter. Do it now.”</p><p>Hubert sighed, and in an instant, Edelgard was back in her retainer’s room in Garreg Mach. She ripped open the floorboard, and began putting on her other face. The one this cruel world forced her to wear. All the logic and self-control the princess valued so highly had disappeared. It was replaced by raw, painful emotions-shame, guilt, disgust. There was only one thought that reverberated over and over again. </p><p>
  <em>This wasn’t me. She has to understand. It wasn’t me.</em>
</p><p>Edelgard sighed and donned her mask, steeling herself for what she must do. In a flash of red, she disappeared.</p><p>Jeralt and Byleth turned in shock. The Flame Emperor stepped forward.</p><p>“There you are, Byleth…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-Edelgard-"I'll sacrifice anything for my goals, including myself." Also Edelgard-"I'll jump in front of a scythe for my teacher."</p><p>-This is a very Edelgard-centric chapter, with a lot of moving pieces. I wanted to keep it tightly focused on her experiences, but after the big Flame Emperor/Byleth and Edelgard/Byleth talks next chapter, we'll dive into some of the fallout with some of the other Black Eagles (as well as Byleth, obviously).</p><p>-To me, the Edelgard/Byleth relationship comes down to questions of choice, belief, and identity. Is Byleth the emotionless, immortal avatar of the goddess, sent to rule over humanity? Is Edelgard the Flame Emperor, the emotionless, ruthless weapon with the heart of ice? Or can they choose to be something different?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Masks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edelgard’s life was defined by meticulous, regimented routines. There was a seemingly endless variety of duties and paperwork to complete, which had only grown as her father’s health had declined. However, even in the midst of the chaotic storm that was her life, she always found time for a small ritual.</p><p>Each Sunday, she spent her afternoon peacefully in the greenhouse. Bernadetta and Marianne were frequent guests, all three Black Eagles deeply appreciating the value of silence. Often, the hours would pass with not a single word spoken, yet each girl would wait expectantly for her comrades to arrive. But there was a reason, beyond the quiet camaraderie, that Edelgard loved to be among the flowers.</p><p>They were nature’s small miracles, a triumph of the spirit. No matter how many weeds surrounded it, or how barren the soil, a properly tended plant would always bloom. It was proof that any adversity, no matter how great, could be overcome with love and support. With her own two human hands, she would bring the beauty out of every seed she planted in the earth.</p><p>To Edelgard, it was an expression of her innermost ideals. Once, she had believed deeply in the power of the Goddess’ protection. Prayed that those she treasured would be kept safe. But instead, she had watched her family slowly wither, abandoned by the Goddess. Edelgard had long ago accepted that she did not deserve to be loved, but her kind, generous, innocent siblings? What had they done to justify such scorn?</p><p>She had taken the Church of Seiros’ teachings as a personal challenge-if the Goddess protected all that was beautiful in the world, then Edelgard would defend everything else. Find the beauty hidden in the rejected and the lost. All that was too weak and ugly to deserve the Goddess’ shield. She would be their voice.</p><p>It was the reason the Black Eagles, her little flock, had grown to mean so much to the princess. Once, they were a collection of misfits: The terrified girl, crippled by her father’s cruelty. The second son, forced to make his own destiny. The captive, kidnapped to a strange and different land. They were alone. Isolated. Abandoned by the Goddess when they needed Her most.</p><p>And then Byleth had appeared, and helped Edelgard stitch together these broken, spurned threads into something new. Something wonderful. And the little family had grown: the pariah, who believed herself cursed. The knight, following the dream of a dead man. The experiment, left to live her life under a ticking clock. This beautiful quilt of outcasts showed that anyone could be beautiful. Anyone could be loved.</p><p>They gave her hope. Made her believe that the future could be better. It was why the thought of the Black Eagles’ rejection filled her with such terrible dread. It would show that even among the exiles and the castaways, there was no place where Edelgard belonged. All her emotional stoicism, all her overanxious mothering of her newfound friends, was hiding a young girl’s desperate, lonely plea: <em>Please, don’t leave me.</em></p><p>It was why, as the Flame Emperor stood in the flaming ruins of Remire, her heart began to shatter. Each time Byleth looked at Edelgard, there was a small flicker of joy-a spark of lightning in an ocean of blue. No matter how many months passed, or how many times the princess saw it, it would never grow old. Someone cared for her. It brought a new spring, a renewed life, to Edelgard’s heart of ice.</p><p>But there was no affection in Byleth’s eyes today. She stared at the Flame Emperor’s cold, inhuman face with an immense hatred. “How dare you come here?” The Sword of the Creator pulsated and glowed as the Ashen Demon pointed it at the intruder. “I’m going to-“</p><p>Jeralt reached out a hand, and gently lowered Byleth’s weapon. “So…you’re the Flame Emperor.” His eyes were guarded, so different from the kind man she knew. He had asked the princess to watch over Byleth, to protect her. But all the naked vulnerability he had shown that day was gone, his face just as unreadable as the Flame Emperor’s mask.</p><p>Byleth was pacing like a caged animal behind Jeralt. It was a reaction that Edelgard should have expected.</p><p>
  <em>“You were fantastic against those pirates, my teacher.” Edelgard put down her saucer, and smiled at Byleth softly. “I don’t know how you knew that Ingrid and I were overwhelmed, but it was a lucky thing.” She smiled for a moment. “Of course, I have a feeling much of what appears to be luck is actually your skill and preparation”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth was always uncomfortable receiving praise, and waved her hand dismissively. “My students needed help. I was there.” She pushed her teacake over to Edelgard’s side of the table, a familiar unspoken ritual at their teatimes. “I have to protect you all.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The princess cast her memory back, and thought of the agitation and rage on the Ashen Demon’s face. It was so different then the detached woman who had walked through the doors of Garreg Mach months ago.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“My teacher,” said Edelgard quietly. “I’ve noticed that you have become more…emotional lately, particularly when your students are threatened.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Panic arose in Byleth’s wide eyes. “Is…is that bad? I....I’m sorry Edelgard, I-“ To the princess’ horror, Byleth began to slap her head in frustration. “Stupid, stupid, stupid! I know, I’m different, be quiet!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Flame Emperor grabbed Byleth’s hand, full of remorse for what her words had unleashed. “No…no, Professor…it’s a good thing!” She attempted to give a calming smile, which on Edelgard’s stern face, likely unsettled Byleth even more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You…you mean it?” Byleth looked up hesitantly. “It is?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard nodded firmly. “Absolutely. I know the Black Eagles would agree with me.” She carefully disentangled her fingers from Byleth’s. “I must admit, I was curious if you had noticed it yourself…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth nodded slowly. “I…yes. I have.” She began to run her fingers through her messy, untamed hair. “I don’t know how to say this…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I will not judge.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I…before I came to Garreg Mach…I was…empty.” Byleth’s blue eyes were clouded with hesitation and doubt. “I wasn’t a person. I didn’t dream of the future, or think about the past. I didn’t think about friendship or romance.” She began to blush at the last word, before her face became severe. “And what scares me is…I didn’t care. At all.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard tried to hide the pain on her face behind her teacup.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“When I met you all, I couldn’t understand it. You all had goals. Dreams you had to follow. It…didn’t make sense. Ingrid wanted to be a knight. Ferdinand was going to be the best noble he could be.” She smiled approvingly. “It was like…seeing the sun for the first time. It made me realize how hollow I truly was. What did I want for myself?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard leaned her elbows on the table, royal etiquette the furthest thing from her mind. “And what <strong>do</strong> you want?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“To protect those I care for...” said Byleth slowly. “To help the Black Eagles fulfill their own dreams.” She gave Edelgard a small, sad grin. “That’s why I get so upset when my students are in danger.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The princess paused. “I’m…not sure I understand.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“When I’m around you all, I don’t…feel so… hollow.” Byleth’s face lit up with a radiant smile. “I feel…full. Like maybe, someday I can find out where I belong. Who Byleth Eisner actually is.” She moved her hands in large circles, desperately trying to find the words.. “But it scares me…if I lose the people I love…” She paused and swallowed. “I worry I’ll lose me, too.”</em>
</p><p>Edelgard spoke into her mask, hoping the suit would hide the wavering tremor in her speech. “Indeed. I am the Flame Emperor.” The princess tried desperately to avoid looking at Byleth’s wild blue eyes. “I believe you have met my subordinate, the Death Knight…”</p><p>At the mention of his name, Byleth nearly charged at the Flame Emperor, shattering Edelgard’s heart in two.</p><p>“How can you work with such a monster?!” snarled the Ashen Demon. “Do you know what he-“</p><p>“Oh, we’ve met him all right.” Jeralt’s gruff voice interrupted, a mirthless smile on his face. “But let’s bring this back to you. You’re the one responsible for the destruction of this village.”</p><p>It was at that moment that Edelgard realized the terrible mistake she had made. In the depths of rage and fear, she had shown up to denounce Solon…but she now realized how this appeared to Byleth and Jeralt. Her unplanned appearance in the flaming wreckage of their home condemned the Flame Emperor like nothing else could. As she felt everything spiral out of control, her body tensed.</p><p>“Do not be mistaken!”</p><p>The Blade-Breaker had little patience for the strange figure’s pronouncements. “What the hell does that mean?” He threw his hands in the air, his eyes briefly filled with the same wrath as his daughter.</p><p>Jeralt’s disgust was acid on the Flame Emperor’s wounds, and something inside of her snapped. There were so many words she wanted to say. How she had no other allies…how her own compromises filled her with disgust…but they felt just as empty as the Flame Emperor’s armor.</p><p>“It is true that I am working with Solon…” She looked around the village. At the terrible cost of her own actions and hubris. She turned to Byleth, a deep regret hidden by her altered voice. “But that does not mean our objectives are the same…”</p><p>“How can you say that?!” Byleth pushed her father aside, and stood in front of the Flame Emperor defiantly. “Look around you! What could possibly be worth all of this?!”</p><p>How could she explain it? Remire was an act of senseless violence and cruelty, one that Edelgard despised with every bit of her being. But there was another, quieter reign of terror in the land of Fódlan. The village’s destruction had lasted but a day-but the decay in the soul of the continent had claimed so many more. There was a terrible horror, not just in death by ax or sword, but by famine, and disease, and neglect.</p><p>No one mourned those silent victims. The mothers, who died bearing countless children in a mad search for divine favor. The peasants, starving and abused by a nobility that viewed ownership as their birthright. The Crestless children, cast aside by a society and Goddess who deemed them worthless.</p><p>These voices had cried for help for a thousand years and gone unanswered. Unmourned and unloved. But Edelgard could hear them. Knew their rejection intimately, which burned like fire every waking moment. Felt the cold cruelty of the Church and nobility, that lifelong death born from callousness and spite. They were no less victims. They deserved justice too.</p><p>“There is more going on here than you understand…” She turned to Byleth, crimson eyes unblinking. “If I had known he planned to do this, I would have stopped him. Of that, I assure you.”</p><p>Jeralt nodded his head. “Byleth’s right. All this talk is cheap…” His hand gasped the hilt of his sword. “Why don’t you come back to the monastery with us? We can sit down and have a nice chat about how we all feel about each other.”</p><p>“Hmm.” The Flame Emperor shook her head. Her eyes had never wavered from Byleth. “I cannot allow that…but…if you wish to join forces…I would accept.”</p><p>The Blade-Breaker's jaw dropped open. “You can’t be serious.” A spasm of irritation flickered across his calm features. “You hearing this, By?”</p><p>Byleth remained silent, the thunderstorm that had consumed her rapidly cooling. It was replaced by a look of confusion and sadness. Sensing the change, the Flame Emperor redoubled her emotional appeals. She raised her gloved hand in the air, pleading with the woman she loved.</p><p>“If left alone, they will commit countless more violent acts…do you not wish to prevent that?”</p><p>“How…how would that help?” Despite the defensive posture, there was something earnest in Byleth’s voice.</p><p>Edelgard thought for a moment. With Byleth and the power of the Empire …she would not need her monstrous allies. A glorious vision appeared in Edelgard’s mind. A future where Edelgard would not walk her path alone. Where her friends stayed by her side. Where she walked into battle, head held high, alongside the woman she cared for so deeply.</p><p>“With the power of the one who wields the Sword of the Creator, Solon would be no match…”</p><p>“Fine.” Byleth stepped forward, and slammed the Sword of the Creator in the dirt. “You want my help? You have it.” For a moment, silence fell between the three figures. Byleth and Edelgard stared into each other’s eyes, as time itself seemed to stop.</p><p>The Flame Emperor felt her knees began to shake. “You…you are lying….the anger on your face makes it-“</p><p>“No.” Byleth shook her head. “I’m not.” Jeralt reached his arm toward Byleth, but her focus remained on the armored demon. “I think you are different. Prove it to me. Show the world who you are.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor hesitated. “I…cannot. It would risk everything-“</p><p>Her teacher’s face remained infuriatingly calm. Edelgard wanted Byleth to scream at her. To shout. To condemn the monster who had destroyed her home. That was a response she could understand. But this? This simple, quiet, impossible request?</p><p>The Flame Emperor was lost.</p><p>“Did you actually come here to ask for help...or just because you felt guilty?” Byleth’s piercing gaze seemed to drill into Edelgard’s soul. She crossed her arms calmly. “If you aren’t a bad person, stop pretending to be one.”</p><p>Edelgard could feel the drumbeat of her heart, a steady, regular pulse. Her legs felt ready to collapse.</p><p>Byleth reached out her arm to the Flame Emperor. “Take off your mask.”</p><p>“I…” the Flame Emperor turned away. If she revealed herself now, her coup would fall apart. Rhea would demand sanctions and concessions from the Empire. Tensions with Faerghus would become inflamed. Those were the justifications in Edelgard’s mind…the rational bulwark she had constructed.</p><p>But that logic hid the terrible core of truth. She was not brave enough. She was scared to show the ugliness inside, the scars and festering rage she had kept so carefully hidden. To reveal to the world what Edelgard von Hresvelg truly was. To see the looks of disappointment and shock on her friends’ faces. To lose another family.</p><p>The words spilled out of her before she realized she had begun to speak. “Pray that you do not regret your choice.” Even Edelgard was unsure whether her warning was for Byleth… or herself.</p><p>“Professor!” The three figures turned, as a flustered, rumpled looking Hubert appeared, waving his arms frantically. “Have you seen Lady Edelgard?”</p><p>
  <em>Oh Goddess…he’s “acting” again…</em>
</p><p>As Byleth and Jeralt turned away, Edelgard took advantage of her retainer’s theatrics. As she disappeared, the Flame Emperor looked down at her greedy, cowardly hands.</p><p>
  <em>She’s right…I was selfish. Only thinking about my own feelings. Offering something I could never give. </em>
</p><p>As she took off her disguise, the Flame Emperor stared at the unblinking eyes of her other self. Finally, she reached a decision. Flame magic extended from her fingers, enveloping the demonic mask. For a moment, she watched the porcelain crack and warp from the heat, before it disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The walk back to Garreg Mach was silent. The evils that the students had witnessed today would haunt their dreams for many nights to come. For hours, the only sound that could be heard was the rhythmic patter of horse’s hooves.</p><p>“DAMN IT!” Caspar looked up to the sky and unleashed a long, loud bellow, startling the caravan. Bernadetta shrieked in terror, leaping behind Sylvain and Ferdinand’s horses.</p><p>Dorothea, ever sensitive to the needs of her friends, was upon him in a flash. “What’s wrong, little bro?” She rustled Caspar’s head playfully, an artificial smile on her face.</p><p>“It’s just…we’re supposed to protect people. Fight for justice. All that stuff.” He clenched his fists in rage. “But the people who did this…got away. And we’re not doing anything about it.”</p><p>Sylvain shook his head, his gaze distant. “That’s sometimes how it goes, buddy. And trust me…even if we punished them…it wouldn’t make you feel better.” He tightened his grip on the Lance of Ruin.</p><p>“The people who are doing this will not be escaping again,” said Petra with characteristic determination. “I am not going to be allowing…to allow anyone else to die.”</p><p>“Maybe…maybe those people died by the… will of the Goddess.” Marianne’s quiet stammer caused a flurry of heads to tilt in her direction. For a moment, there was silence. Then the awful tension that hung over the group burst.</p><p>“HOW DARE YOU!” Ingrid rushed toward Marianne, in a fury born of years of repressed grief and rage. “How dare you speak of the dead that way! They had friends and family who loved them! Who miss them every day! They didn’t….” She trailed off, anger slowly consumed by sorrow.</p><p>Marianne cowered, bowing her head in fear and anguish. Dorothea jumped in front of Ingrid, trying to soothe her enraged friend.</p><p>“She…she didn’t mean it, Ing. She-“</p><p>“I must agree with Dorothea, Ingrid.” Ferdinand galloped to Marianne’s defense. “She meant no harm, and even a poorly timed comment should not inspire such a response!“</p><p>“Hey, why don’t you back off!” Sylvain pushed through the group and stared at Ferdinand angrily. “You’ve got no idea what she’s been through, Mr. Noble! Just because you and Marianne are-“</p><p>Linhardt’s bored voice cut through the din. “Must you two bicker like this? Showing off like a bunch of preening lovebirds…. it’s tiresome.”</p><p>“At least they care about someone!” Lysithea crossed her arms furiously. “You don’t care about anything except your silly research!”</p><p>Linhardt looked at her strangely for a moment. “That’s not strictly true, Lysithea. For example, I think you-“</p><p>“Everyone.” Edelgard stomped forward. “Squabbling amongst ourselves is pointless.” She placed her hand on her ax, trying to project a leadership she did not feel. “There will be time to discuss what we saw today later on, with a rational, logical perspective. Now is not that time, and I do not want to hear any further debate. Understood?”</p><p>Her eyes fell on Ingrid and Marianne, and her face softened. “What we saw today was…horrific. I understand and share your feelings of outrage. But please…” She looked around at the strangers who had come to mean so much to her. “We are all allies and friends here, and a shadow is coming over Fódlan. The only way we can hope to defeat the darkness we saw in Remire is together.”</p><p>Underneath the house leader’s confident demeanor, a quiet, guilty refrain echoed in her head. <em>Please stop fighting. I’m the reason. Please stop. </em>The class nodded slowly, and resumed marching in silence.</p><p>As the princess walked forward, entangled in a fog of remorse, she felt an arm drape around her shoulder carefully. Edelgard jumped, before seeing Dorothea’s smiling face. “Look at you!” said the songstress, using the same encouraging tone she took on when Bernadetta left her room.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Edelgard’s voice came out harsher then she intended, part of her knowing full well what Dorothea meant.</p><p>“I’m so proud of you, Edie.” Dorothea gave her a small smile. “You’ve changed so much.”</p><p>The princess pointedly refused to meet her friend’s eyes.</p><p>Dorothea was never one to be rebuffed by a momentary silence, and she forged ahead. “I remember when I first met you…I was so nervous. Here I was, a girl from the slums…classmates with the future Emperor of Adrestia!” She began to blush. “I don’t believe in all that divine nobility garbage, but I’d seen the paintings. Had you come to my shows at Mittlefrank. You were…untouchable.”</p><p>Edelgard felt a crushing weight inside her chest, and looked down at her feet colliding with the dirt path.</p><p>“I was so anxious meeting you.” Dorothea began to giggle slightly, the infectious joy in her voice forcing a small smile out of the Emperor. “I don’t tell everyone this…but I still…” She clasped a hand to her chest. “…Every morning, I think that someone’s going to knock on my door. Inform me very nicely it’s all been a big mistake, put me back in rags, and dump me in the street… right back where I started.”</p><p>Edelgard turned and looked at her friend’s watery eyes. She searched in vain for words that could heal the terrible wounds in Dorothea’s soul. Wounds that were all too familiar.</p><p>“When I met you, I thought…<em>She’ll know…</em>” Dorothea’s face became pale. “She’ll smell the dirt and filth. If anyone will be able to see through all this…” She gestured at her still remarkably well-coiffed outfit and gave a dazzling smile. “…The great princess would.” She shook her head. “And then I actually met you.”</p><p>Edelgard looked at her classmate nervously. “I hope I did not give you any reason…”</p><p>Dorothea began to laugh, the high melodious tone putting Edelgard at ease. “I was in the cafeteria, chatting with some silly noble boy, when who comes up and introduces themselves, but you?” She gave Edelgard a wink. “Stammering away about how much you enjoyed my tragic performance in <em>The Witch of the Woods</em>…”</p><p>“I did not stammer!” huffed Edelgard. Dorothea only responded with a slow nod, causing the two women to begin to laugh.</p><p>“My point was…” Dorothea placed a hand on Edelgard’s shoulder. “I hadn’t thought about the actual you. How the Emperor I was so intimidated by was a teenage girl, just like me.” She smiled softly. “Underneath all the bluster, I could tell how afraid you were.”</p><p>“Of…what?” said Edelgard, already knowing the answer.</p><p>“That <em>I</em> wouldn’t like <em>you</em>.” The songstress turned and looked at their classmates. “I know they don’t get it-I don’t think Professor Byleth can possibly understand, bless her heart-but I can tell. I’m a performer, and…you’re always playing a role, up on a stage, aren’t you?’</p><p>Edelgard nodded slowly, feeling the great weight release from her chest.</p><p>“Sometimes it’s hard to notice things…about ourselves. Petra was telling me how much more real I am since…” Dorothea shook her head, and refocused her gaze on the princess. “The girl I met at the beginning of the year…She was lost. Forced to be something she wasn’t.” She pulled in Edelgard for a side-hug, which the princess reluctantly allowed, before beginning to walk away.</p><p>“Dorothea…” Edelgard’s voice faltered.</p><p>The songstress turned back and smiled. “I like this Edelgard a whole lot more.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When the class returned to Garreg Mach, the Black Eagles split off quietly. The day had been long and grueling, and most of the students wanted nothing more than to escape to the peace and quiet of their rooms. Byleth had praised the class again for their work, before excusing herself to brief the Archbishop.</p><p>As the clicking of Byleth’s heels echoed throughout the empty main hall, Edelgard ran to catch up to her teacher. As she got closer, she stopped for a moment. Byleth was mumbling something quietly.</p><p>“I can’t watch them die again. Today, when she- I know, Sothis, but I can’t just…”</p><p>
  <em>Sothis?</em>
</p><p>In the flurry and confusion of the battle, and the bizarre vision of her own death, Edelgard had not stopped to think about the words Byleth had screamed.</p><p>The Goddess’ name was a secret, known only to high-ranking members of the Church of Seiros, and a few others. That select group included the Adrestian Emperors. Sothis was the very name of the Goddess Herself. How could Byleth know such a thing?</p><p>And <em>why</em> was she talking as if Sothis could hear her? As if she could listen? As a faithful child, and even when Edelgard had begged and pleaded with the Goddess in the depths of despair…it never sounded like <em>this</em>. There was always a remove. Worship and worshipper. Not this one-way conversation between…friends?</p><p>Even by the standards of her teacher’s behavior it was bizarre. Edelgard must have failed to be as quiet as she hoped, because Byleth turned quickly, a serene smile on her face.</p><p>“Hello, Edelgard…” said the mercenary, an obvious affection bleeding into every word. “I was hoping to talk to you.” She tilted her head, and nervously began to play with the medallion on her chest. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>There was clearly more that she wanted to say, but for the moment the mercenary remained silent. Edelgard shook her head, and gave an artificial smile. “About as well as can be expected, I think.” She began to fiddle with her gloves. “My teacher…I…I don’t know how to say this, but admirable work out there today.”</p><p>Byleth nodded sadly, blue eyes lost in the distance. Perhaps it was the secrets they were keeping from one another, but there was an awkwardness and tension to their conversation that usually did not exist.</p><p>After a few moments, Edelgard tried to fill the silence. “I think we did everything we could.” The clumsy words hung in the air like an oppressive mist.</p><p>“Did we?” Byleth finally turned to look at her student. “I…” She looked down at the Sword of the Creator, dangling on her hip. “I wasn’t strong enough…all those people…” Her head fell.</p><p>Edelgard marched forward, and grabbed Byleth’s shoulder tightly. “You are <em>not</em> a god, my teacher. No person is all-powerful.” She smiled softly. “There was nothing else you could have done.”</p><p>“But…I…”</p><p>“There is a burden that comes with leadership…” Edelgard looked up at the ceiling, searching for the right words. “You can have all the power, and brilliance, and diligence…and yet…” She shook her head. “When dark days arise, all you can do is try to move forward.”</p><p>The Ashen Demon nodded, appearing to take some small comfort in her student’s words. Sensing an opportunity, Edelgard grasped her chance.</p><p>“I heard the Flame Emperor appeared at Remire, my teacher. Hubert said you two were talking about something.” At the mention of the mysterious figure’s name, Byleth’s posture tightened, and she looked at the princess sadly.</p><p>“I…yes…they said they weren’t involved in....” The mercenary gestured with her hands fruitlessly. “They said they would have stopped it…if they’d known.”</p><p>“They did?” Edelgard put her hand to her chin, and adopted what she hoped was a pensive look. “Do you believe them?”</p><p>Byleth slowly made her way to one of the main hall’s tables, and slumped on the chair. Her movements were not the unstoppable force of destruction others saw on the battlefield, but those of a tired and sad woman, full of vulnerability. She stared up at Edelgard with her piercing blue eyes.</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“Why?” Edelgard’s words were harsh. “An enemy with an unknown identity? How can you possibly trust them?” Even her teacher was not this gullible. This foolish. The Flame Emperor had done nothing to earn…to deserve such faith. Byleth turned away from her student’s gaze.</p><p>“The voice.”</p><p>Edelgard looked at her teacher warily. “What about it?”</p><p>“There’s something…sad about it.” The Ashen Demon shook her head. “When they asked for help today…they didn’t expect me to say yes.”</p><p>“Then why...why would they take such a risk?” The princess shifted in her seat uncomfortably. “It was a tremendous gamble to appear like that...in front of you.”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Byleth let out a long, deep sigh. “But I know one thing. If they were that bad, they wouldn’t ask. They’d just…take what they wanted, like Solon does.” A look of disgust fell on her mild features.</p><p>Edelgard shot out of her seat. “But you don’t know their objectives! What they even want! All they do is show up, make a cryptic statement and leave!” She leaned toward her teacher, eyes full of emotion. “You deserve better than that, my teacher. Allies who you can rely upon, not liars in strange masks!”</p><p>For a moment, the two women stared at one another, both taken aback by the venom and bitterness in Edelgard’s outburst. The seething hatred that the princess held for her other half. Her secret self. Finally, Edelgard fell back into the chair, voice firm and passionate.</p><p>“If the Flame Emperor truly has need of your power…” The princess paused and swallowed. “Maybe, someday....they’ll appear before you without a mask, my teacher.” Byleth reached her hand out and grabbed Edelgard’s fingers tightly. “Then…you can see what they fight for…who they truly are…and make your decision.”</p><p>There was a moment of silence, and the Emperor and the Ashen Demon fought a quiet battle, eyes gently probing one another, searching for the truths that remained unspoken. Finally, Edelgard yielded.</p><p>“I…must be going, my teacher. I know you have to visit the Archbishop and-“</p><p>“Edelgard.” Byleth angled her head, voice filled with that infernal curiosity. “Is something bothering you?” For an eternity, all that could be heard was the sound of birds chirping in the trees outside. Mercifully, Byleth finally turned away. “If it’s something you can’t…I understand…”</p><p>Edelgard froze. “I…I-“ She looked down, feeling the weight of a thousand compromises and concessions crushing her very soul. All she truly wanted was to tell her teacher of the thousands of tender thoughts, the love that seemed to grow day after day. Reveal the secret, intimate core under the Flame Emperor’s shell.</p><p>But there was a quiet fear building in the Flame Emperor’s heart. The question that had consumed her since Remire. She clenched her fist, and looked away, willing herself to find the words.</p><p>“My teacher…when you’re…by yourself...” She was unable to meet Byleth’s gaze. “Who are you talking to?”</p><p>Byleth froze, her large blue eyes widening in shock. Edelgard had fought alongside her teacher in so many battles, watched her charge into the fray countless times…but she had never seen such a look of distress on her face before.</p><p>She grasped her head, and began to shake it violently, inspiring a fresh wave of horror in the princess. Finally, the spasm passed, and she sat down next to Edelgard, full of resignation.</p><p>“Edelgard…” she began slowly. “When we met, that night in Remire, I’ve told you that it was like I was...waking up.” The princess could only nod gently. Byleth sighed. “But I wasn’t the only thing that woke up. In my head, there’s… another person. A friend.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor looked at her teacher silently. Was this like Jeritza…did Byleth have another self? What did it have to do with the visions she had seen? And what about Sothis?</p><p>“…Does…does it have anything to do with the Goddess?“</p><p>Byleth looked at Edelgard with confusion. “What do you-“</p><p>“EDEL!” Monica’s shrill voice echoed down the corridor. “I need to ask you something!”</p><p>Byleth anxiously grabbed her student's arm. “Please…don’t tell anyone.”</p><p>The princess nodded and turned to her supposed ally, barely concealing a look of disgust. Monica looked between the two women with mock innocence. “I hope I’m not interrupting!”</p><p>“Oh, of course not, Monica.” Edelgard stood, pointedly refusing to acknowledge the grinning demon. “I’ll see you in class, my teacher.”</p><p>As Edelgard walked away, she saw Byleth hide her face in her hands, shoulders shaking. She almost turned back, when Monica’s sugary-sweet voice transformed into mocking laughter.</p><p>“Did ya have fun in Remire, Edel? I was sad I couldn’t show up…I would have loved to have gotten a chance to-“</p><p>The assassin’s next words turned into a strangled gurgle, as Edelgard grabbed the leering monster by the throat, and slammed her into the wall. “If you<em> ever</em> interrupt me like that again…” Edelgard’s fingers tightened, as the slithering fiend thrashed and kicked. “Stay away from her.” Finally, with reluctance, she released her grip.</p><p>Monica collapsed to the ground, panting heavily. She glared up defiantly. “You’re going to regret that, you little-“</p><p>“Tell someone who cares.”</p><p>Edelgard walked away, leaving the enraged monster to lick her wounds. The princess tried to avoid taking too much pleasure in the act, but she could not prevent the small smile that formed in the corners of her lips.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As always when emotions overwhelmed her rational mind, Edelgard found herself on the bridge overlooking the cathedral. Perhaps some part of her still wanted to be close to the home of the Goddess, even if she dared not enter. As she lazily watched birds fly through the sky, without worry or purpose, she was surprised as another figure stood next to her.</p><p>“You are very quiet today.” Ferdinand stood and leaned on the railing, mirroring his rival’s pose. “I have not seen you in the cafeteria, so I have taken the liberty of getting you some dinner.” He handed Edelgard a tray full of fish, and gave her a gleaming smile.</p><p>The princess was touched by the gesture, and looked at the young man warmly. She slumped down to the floor, allowing her royal bearing to collapse. “I appreciate it,” she murmured, voice full of gratitude. “But why did you-“</p><p>The future Prime Minister laughed pompously, before placing his hand to his chest. “My entire life, I have defined myself by a single goal…surpassing you.” He sank down, and sat next to his classmate. “If my rival is not at the peak of her powers, then my victory shall lose all meaning.”</p><p>“And here I was, thinking you were being nice…” Edelgard rolled her eyes, and both Black Eagles began to laugh quietly. The princess’ head fell downward. “Thank you, Ferdinand…forgive my moment of weakness.”</p><p>The young Aegir dismissed Edelgard’s apology with a flick of his wrist. “I…understand the pressure of living up to the expectations of others.” He shook his head. “My father has always stressed the historical importance of the Aegir name. My life is not my own, but simply part of great chain, extending back for a millennia.”</p><p>Edelgard looked at her classmate’s kind, gentle face. The right side of his mouth would raise slightly when he smirked, just like Duke Aegir. He had the same sharp, pointed nose, and fiery orange hair. For so long, she had kept her distance, punishing the boy for the sins of the father.</p><p>“Doesn’t…that bother you, Ferdinand?” The princess shook her head. “What about your own freedom? What about what you want?”</p><p>Ferdinand shook his head. “It is the role I must play. People are a product of their environment, Edelgard.” He looked up at the sky with a boyish grin. “For those of us who have been given much, even more is expected.”</p><p>“I understand,” murmured Edelgard with resignation. “I just find putting up a façade so…tiring.”</p><p>He turned and placed a gentle hand on Edelgard’s shoulder. “All this responsibility does not mean you can neglect your health or your friends.” He wagged a finger at her teasingly. “If you try to skip a meal again, I shall be forced to use all my considerable political influence.”</p><p>“You mean siccing Hubert and Marianne on me, don’t you?”</p><p>Ferdinand responded to Edelgard’s gentle teasing with an exuberant nod. He gave Edelgard a formal bow. “Have a nice night, Your Majesty.”</p><p>Edelgard laughed and shook her head. “You’re dismissed, Lord Aegir…” As he turned to walk away, she called after him, stopping him momentarily. “Ferdinand…I was…struggling tonight. Thank you. I hope someday…I can return the favor.”</p><p>“I shall never falter, Edelgard, I promise you that.” The young man leaned against the wall of the bridge. “But…perhaps a game of chess this weekend?”</p><p>The princess smiled. “I’d like that, Ferdinand. Very much.”</p><p>As the future Duke Aegir left her alone, Edelgard looked up at the sky. The shadows had begun to creep in, and the cathedral of the Goddess loomed over the princess’ head. As she looked around the peaceful monastery, she knew these happy days were drawing to a close.</p><p>Soon, she would step out of the darkness. Stand before her friends and teacher, and expose her blackened heart for the world to see. Though she feared what would follow, she could not flee from her destiny. Time, the great betrayer, would not allow it.</p><p>It was the role she must play.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One of the reasons I like the Black Eagles ending to White Clouds so much is that it really puts the focus on Edelgard and Byleth's relationship specifically. Edelgard follows through on her promise to "appear without wearing a mask," unlike in other routes, where she remains hidden until the big reveal. I quite liked being able to focus on why Edelgard makes that choice in this chapter.</p><p>I love how this game deconstructs the FE archetypes (and arguably, the whole FE narrative). Over and over, we see that the students are more than what they initially appear to be, and how destructive these roles are on their well-being (Dimitri, Rhea, looking at you). Ferdie and Dorothea seemed like great choices to bounce off of El this chapter because of it.</p><p>I remember watching Marianne's comment about the Goddess' will on the GD route, and thinking how poorly Ingrid and Edelgard, both of whom have lost people, would take it. </p><p>Thanks for the comments and kudos! Stay safe, everyone!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. The Emperor and the Knight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Byleth strode back and forth in front of the lectern, her untamed hair flying wildly. Whenever discussions of battle strategy and tactics came up in class, it was as if a wick inside the mercenary was set alight. Byleth was still far from a veteran teacher, but any inexperience was more than compensated for by the content and unpredictability of her lectures.</p><p>“Part of your training at the Officer’s Academy involves preparing to command an army.” The Ashen Demon paced while staring at the floor. “That is the reason you are all here.” She glanced mischievously to Dorothea. “At least it’s supposed to be.”</p><p>“Professor!” gasped the songstress with mock outrage, as the Black Eagles began to laugh. “I’m just as committed to strategy…things, as the other students!” She smirked and shrugged her shoulders. “But if a handsome noble <em>just happens</em> to cut my glorious military career short…well, we can’t predict the future!”</p><p>The easy rapport that the Black Eagle class had developed was something to behold. Byleth was not a conventional teacher. The Eagles were not a conventional class. Yet somehow, as the year had developed, and the stoic Ashen Demon had become cheerful Professor Byleth, it felt <em>right</em>. As if it was where they had always belonged.</p><p>“Well then, Dorothea…” Byleth’s eyes lit up impishly. “I suppose that means you volunteer to answer the question I proposed last class.”</p><p>The opera star froze. “I…yes. Of course. The question.” She shot a glare at Sylvain, who had given her an enthusiastic wink. “Um…in regards to the…” Her eyes darted nervously. “…I agree... with the idea.” She sighed, desperately trying to fill the awkward silence.</p><p>“Interesting.” Byleth put her fingers to her chin and hummed, a small smile forming on the corners of her mouth. “Does anyone else have anything to add?”</p><p>Edelgard rubbed her temples. Professor Byleth had given the class a mock scenario: with a commanding officer trapped behind enemy lines, what strategy would they use to rejoin their army? The future Emperor, ever the dutiful student, raised her hand.</p><p>“The larger force will be less maneuverable. I propose using that agility to find a weak point in the enemy’s line, and attacking until the group can break through.”</p><p>The class quietly murmured, most of the Eagles agreeing with their house leader’s idea. Byleth put her hands behind her back, trying and failing to hide her pleasure with Edelgard’s response.<br/>
<br/>
“And how will you avoid being surrounded?”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “Either the army is spread out too far to adequately defend, or eventually, we will find a way around. Either way, we break through together.”</p><p>Byleth nodded. “I like it. Any other thoughts?”</p><p>“With respect, Professor, I disagree.”</p><p>Ingrid’s hand had shot up, body tensed. Many of the students leaned forward, and even Linhardt’s droopy eyelids shot open. This was far from the first time that Ingrid and Edelgard had debated one another, and it was always quite the spectacle. Hubert and Sylvain quietly exchanged a knowing glance. The pegasus knight cleared her throat and continued.</p><p>“The most important factor is for the commanding officer to return safely. The troops under our command swore an oath to defend their leaders. Some of the knights split off and attack, sacrificing themselves while the commander is escorted to safety. “ She drove her fist onto the desk. “There is nothing more noble than dying for those we are sworn to protect.”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head vehemently and turned to her friend. “A leader unwilling to fight alongside their troops to the end is unworthy of being followed.” Her head tilted upward in defiance. “Oaths cannot just be for the commoners.”</p><p>“It’s the code of a knight! It gives us meaning!” Ingrid’s voice rose, filled with emotion. “Lives can and must be used for a greater purpose! Maybe…” She shook her head, a strange wildness in her green eyes. “Maybe that’s all any of us can hope for! A good death!”</p><p>For a moment, silence filled the classroom, before Byleth looked at Ingrid sadly. “I think that’s enough for today.” She looked around the room. “I’d like a small report from everyone on the question we discussed today. Due next week.” Byleth’s words covered the audible groan from Caspar in the back row. “Ingrid, Edelgard, can I talk to you both for a moment?”</p><p>As the two women made their way to the front of the room, Edelgard ignored Monica’s leering face. The three women waited for the rest of the Eagles to filter out of the room, before Byleth turned to Ingrid slowly.</p><p>“Ingrid…I know that Remire was difficult for everyone, but you-”</p><p>Ingrid shook her head brusquely. “Thank you for the concern, Professor, but I’m fine.” She looked between Byleth and Edelgard, an insincere smile plastered on her stern features. “Would either of you like to join me for some training? You two are my favorite sparring partners and I wanted…“ She trailed off, unable to maintain the charade.</p><p>Byleth leaned toward her distraught student. “Ingrid…if you need a few days…”</p><p>“No.” She gathered her materials, eyes silently crying for help. “Professor. Edelgard. Have a nice afternoon.” Without another word, she marched out of the classroom, slamming the door forcefully.</p><p>Byleth slumped in her chair, before turning to her house leader. “Would you mind talking to her? I know you are both close, and…” she trailed off.</p><p>Edelgard gave an efficient nod. “Of course, I’ll do it right now.” As the princess turned to leave, her teacher’s nervous voice stopped her momentarily.</p><p>“Edelgard…there’s something else.”</p><p>A million fears and suspicions tore through the Flame Emperor’s mind in a single moment. Had Byleth discovered her secret? Was this the moment that Edelgard had dreaded for so long? She slowly turned, fighting the panic holding her lungs in a vise.</p><p>“It’s about the… the…” Byleth swallowed and looked up at Edelgard, voice full of trepidation. The princess gave her teacher an encouraging nod. “…The dance.”</p><p>“Oh?” Edelgard tried, unsuccessfully, to hide the curiosity in her voice. “What about the dance?”</p><p>“Rhea…I mean, the Archbishop, has asked me to choose a student to compete in the White Heron Cup. And I’ve never really-” She shuffled in her seat uncomfortably. “I’m supposed to participate in a formal dance at the ball…” The Ashen Demon wrung her hands, a flash of crimson developing on her cheeks. “I was wondering if you’d like to…practice dancing…with me?”</p><p>
  <em>“Keep your ears in line with your hips, El.” Ionius gently guided his daughter up and down the smooth floors of the palace. El gave a small nod, and giggled as her father guided her head back to standard frame.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Emperor of Adrestia smiled benevolently at his daughter. “You’re a natural, El.” He knelt down, and cupped her chin with his hand. “Agnes told me she’d been teaching you…but-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But what, Father?” said El, filled with a child’s curiosity.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ionius shook his head. “I never imagined my little girl looking so grown up and beautiful.” A parent’s pride shown in his eyes, as he lovingly ran his hand through her gorgeous brown hair. “You look just like her…” For a moment, his gaze grew distant, before they returned to the delighted girl in front of him. “Someday, you’re going to make someone a wonderful dance partner.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El felt a wonderful and strange buoyancy in her chest. To move on the dance floor...to express how she felt through movement, gliding alongside the rhythm of the music. It was as close as the young girl could come to flying. The thought of sharing that incredible joy with someone else? Soaring together, like the birds she loved so much? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It filled the lonely little princess’ heart with a happiness and peace beyond words. Someday, she’d have a friend…just for her, and they would dance, and laugh, and share everything together. She could hardly wait.</em>
</p><p>“I…” the Flame Emperor paused, fighting back the ghosts that surrounded her. “I haven’t danced in years, my teacher. Not since…” She closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing. “Perhaps Jeralt would be better suited to teaching you.”</p><p>Byleth’s blue eyes dulled with pain. “Papa’s helped me already, but…it hurts him. He keeps talking about my mom.” Her teacher leaned forward, pleading. “Please, Edelgard, I don’t know who else to ask.“</p><p>There was a yawning, terrible gulf in every moment of Edelgard’s life. A vast space between the pure, brown-haired girl that once was, and the white-haired deceiver who had stolen her name. It was El who was good, and kind, and loved to dance. That deserved to have friends, and crushes, and a future. It was the Flame Emperor who killed, and lied, and permitted atrocities like Remire.</p><p>It was El that had dreamed of whirlwind romances, and quiet, gentle companionship. But the empty husk that remained had cast it aside. Long accepted the dull, aching loneliness, the terrible fact there was no one out there waiting for Edelgard. That she was not half of a greater whole. It would make things so much easier, when she sacrificed herself on the altar of her ideals. </p><p>For so long…the numbness had been a relief. The sharp, painful sensations had pricked and jabbed the princess every day, every moment. Once, the manacles had rubbed her skin so terribly, painfully raw. Once, she had screamed for help for days, until her voice gave out from the strain. Once, she had wept countless tears for her mother and the Goddess to save her, until there were no more tears left to be shed.</p><p>The numbness had come and whispered a terrible promise. If she ran…hid from all the awful feelings, the burdens of being human…she could ignore it all. The fear. The shame. The guilt. By distancing herself from the world that hurt her so, so much…she could move on. Be the Emperor that everyone expected her to be.</p><p>It was not really a life at all, but it allowed Edelgard to take that terrible first step out of her bed every morning. Overlook the dull ache in her joints and limbs. Breathe, when the Goddess’ neglect had shattered the Flame Emperor’s heart.</p><p>Against the millennia of abuses and terrors Fódlan had experienced, what were one girl’s self-indulgent dreams?</p><p>“My teacher…” Edelgard looked away. “Let me… think about it.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>*<em>Whack!*</em></p><p>When Edelgard made her way to the empty training yard, she found Ingrid striking a wooden dummy, over and over again.</p><p>*<em>Whack!*</em></p><p>*<em>Whack!*</em></p><p>The rate of each blow grew ever faster and faster, the rage in Ingrid’s eyes growing more and more intense. Each strike seemed to contain a lifetime’s worth of resentment and anger. All of the dreams and hopes she had hidden from the world. All the crushing weight of the needs of her family and people. All the guilt of still being alive, when those you loved were…</p><p>*<em>Whack!*</em></p><p>*<em>Whack!*</em></p><p>*<em>Whack!*</em></p><p>*<em>Whack!*</em></p><p>It was a fury the Flame Emperor was all too familiar with. Finally, to Edelgard’s relief, the training lance snapped in half, the tip of the weapon sent flying. Ingrid stared at the broken shaft before throwing it down in disgust.</p><p>“Rather sloppy form, I must say.”</p><p>Edelgard’s voice echoed off the empty walls of the training arena. Ingrid turned, and blew the hair out of her eyes. “As if I’d take advice on my stance from an ax user.” The knight looked away from the princess, pretending to adjust the training dummy. “I assume Professor Byleth sent you to check on me?”</p><p>“I would have come anyway,” said Edelgard, edging closer. “You haven’t been yourself since Remire, and-“</p><p>“And what?’ Ingrid turned, arms extended. “Am I not pulling my weight? What else must I do?” She pounced toward Edelgard, daring her friend to challenge her. “I train, and train, and train, and it’s still never enough! What kind of knight am I?!”</p><p>Edelgard remained silent, allowing the Faerghus noble to continue pacing like a caged lion. There was an emptiness at the core of the knight, a gaping, awful void that all the chivalry in the world could not hope to fill.</p><p>“I’m supposed to protect people!” She picked up another training lance. “Get stronger, so I can help others! And…”</p><p>She struck the target.</p><p>“All!”</p><p>Again.</p><p>“I!”</p><p>And again.</p><p>“Do!”</p><p>And again.</p><p>“Is watch people <em>die</em>!”</p><p>Her energy exhausted, the knight fell to the ground, hands cradling her knees. She looked at Edelgard, eyes full of guilt. “If I’d been stronger, those people at Remire…” She shook her head in disgust. “Dimitri wouldn’t be broken! Felix wouldn’t be so bitter! Glenn wouldn’t have-“</p><p>The princess sat down next to Ingrid, hands tucked on her lap. For a long time, she simply stared at the blue sky, feeling the warmth of the sun shining down on her. A warmth she knew she didn’t deserve. Perhaps it was seeing someone whose self-hatred equaled her own, but whatever the reason, a terrible knowledge and clarity came to the princess’ mind.</p><p>“How long have you wanted to die, Ingrid?”</p><p>The simple, dreadful sentence was somehow freeing. Instantly, both Ingrid and Edelgard’s shoulders relaxed, and the pegasus knight found the courage to look into her friend’s eyes.</p><p>“Since…Duscur, so, for most of my life, now.” A wry smile lit up Ingrid’s features. “What else is there for me? A lifetime of quiet resentment as an unhappy wife? Feeling the scorn of my family and people if I walk my own path? But dying with honor…at least…” She covered her eyes with her hand. “At least I’d be with Glenn.”</p><p>Edelgard sat quietly, as Ingrid’s face remained sheltered, waiting for a response. Finally, the Flame Emperor pressed ahead. “It’s something most people can’t understand, I think.” She rubbed the aching joints on her fingers. “To want to make your…grand statement, and to just be free...of it all.”</p><p>Ingrid lowered her hands, and turned to Edelgard. “You too?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “I have a goal, and I don’t think I’ll…” She trailed off, the words unnecessary, before looking Ingrid squarely in the eyes. “For a long time, I couldn’t understand why you wanted to be a knight...having others tell you what to say, or believe.” She stood, and leaned against the training dummy that Ingrid had demolished. “But it gives you a purpose, a reason to keep…being.”</p><p>“After the Tragedy…” Ingrid swallowed. “All I had…all I was made up of…was hate. Hate for the people of Duscur, who had taken Glenn, and my future, and everything else. Hate for the nobles who didn’t care about me, except for my Crest. Hate for a world that just…kept going.” She rested her hands on her forehead. “Hate for everything and everyone. But to be a knight-to follow a code, and be like…”</p><p>“To die like he did.” Edelgard finished the unspoken thought.</p><p>A look of eerie calm appeared in Ingrid’s eyes. “Yes. I wasn’t lost anymore. The stories of chivalry gave me purpose, when all my purpose was gone.” She finally stood, and gathered her training weapons, before laughing softly to herself. “Until there was so much knight, and so little Ingrid left.”</p><p>The princess swung a training ax idly. “And what would Ingrid have wanted? If she-“</p><p>“Oh no,” Ingrid shook her head vigorously. “You first. If you could…be free…what would you have done?” For the first time in the conversation, a genuine smile broke on Ingrid’s face. “And if you say something like ‘studying political theory,’ I’ll beat you senseless.”</p><p>The princess shook her head and laughed. “I like to draw. I think I would have been an artist.” Her voice fell to a whisper. “I’d like to create something…nice. Something that makes other people happy.”</p><p>Ingrid nodded. “I can see that. Artists are…uncompromising, like you. I’ve tried to draw, but I just-” She looked away shyly. “Doesn’t fit my image, I suppose.” As they quietly walked toward the door, she stopped, blurting out a single word. “Food.”</p><p>Edelgard turned her head in confusion. “Food? What do you mean?”</p><p>“I...love food. My family never had money, and with how barren our territory is… Sylvain and I still talk about traveling around, just trying different...” She let out a long sigh. “That probably sounds ridiculous to a girl raised in a palace.”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head, trying to drive the taste of stale bread from her mind. Ignoring the awful taste of moldy rations because it was the only thing that would soothe the terrible, gnawing hunger.</p><p>“Actually, I have had to eat some truly awful meals in my life.” Edelgard gave a faltering smile. “I think that’s lovely, Ingrid. Food brings people together. Sharing a table with people you’re close to is a precious gift.”</p><p>Ingrid’s face lit up at Edelgard’s words. “I’m so happy to hear you say that! I guess I’d always had a silly dream…of finding a way to make Galatea territory…grow.” There was an odd innocence and life in Ingrid’s eyes. “Can you imagine it, Edelgard? No one ever having to be hungry-“</p><p>“There you two are!” Dorothea slammed the large wooden doors open, immaculate as ever. “We’ve been looking everywhere!”</p><p>“What is it, Dorothea?” Edelgard, ever vigilant, tensed her body in concern. “Is anything-“</p><p>“The Black Eagles are helping out the Remire refugees…” Dorothea gave her friends a bittersweet smile. “It feels like the least any of us can do.”</p><p>A spasm of guilt rocked the princess. “I…of course. We’d love to help.”</p><p>“Well, it wasn’t a request,” giggled the diva. “Everyone else is there! Come on!”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When the three women arrived, the rest of the Eagles had already spread amongst the villagers. Many of the refugees were women and children, and it was quietly amusing to see a different side to some of the students.</p><p>Lysithea and Linhardt were entertaining a few of the children with magic spells, when they were not bickering with another. Edelgard could not help but notice the smile that Lysithea so carefully hid, or the genuine interest on the Hevring heir’s face.</p><p>Marianne and Ferdinand were quietly talking to some of the older villagers, the cleric’s quiet demeanor putting them at ease. As much as Marianne had benefited from Ferdinand’s support, the restraint he now exhibited was proof of her influence on him.</p><p>Bernadetta had found a secluded corner, where she was busily repairing dolls for a few girls, while an uncomfortable looking Hubert had two young children gripping his legs tightly. When Edelgard caught his eye, he gave a resigned shrug, and leaned down to the delighted children. One of them tentatively touched his black hair, before giggling.</p><p>Caspar and Sylvain were delighting a group of rambunctious boys. As Sylvain gently roughhoused with one of the children, Ingrid’s eyes lingered for a moment, a small, happy smile breaking through her severe face.</p><p>Dorothea turned to Edelgard and Ingrid as the approached the center of the room. “It’s really Petra we have to thank…” She turned and looked tenderly at the Brigid princess, who was letting an excited girl look at the hunting dagger on her waist. “She’s been like a woman possessed, setting all this up...” A blush appeared on Dorothea’s face.</p><p>Petra caught Edelgard’s eye, and the two princesses exchanged an understanding nod.</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard walked through the halls of the palace, the servants giving her a wide berth. No one talked to her except for Hubert, which was both a consolation and a fresh agony. As much as she hated the stares and the whispers, the thought of explaining…of relieving the agony of the dungeons all over again…it was better this way. It was better to be alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Did ‘ya hear about the girl they locked up?” A shrill maid’s voice cut through the low clamor of the palace. “They say she’s a princess…From Brigid or Dagda or something.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her fellow domestic nodded. “Doesn’t speak a word of the language, is what I heard. If it were up to me, dirty foreigner would be dumped into the-‘</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard’s unyielding expression stopped the two women in their tracks. “Where is she?” When the two women awkwardly looked away, the princess strode forward. The dead-eyed ferocity on the child’s face was terrifying. “I will not repeat myself. Where. Is. The. Prisoner?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A few hours later, Edelgard and Hubert stood outside one of the palace doors, a stack of books and a tray of food in their hands. After her retainer had intimidated the guards into leaving their posts, the princess slowly pushed the door open.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Inside, there was a petrified purple-haired girl, whose complexion clearly indicated that she was not Adrestian. When she saw the two intruders, she crawled away in terror, huddling in the corner. She screamed a few words that Edelgard could not understand, and waved her hands wildly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard understood that fear all too well. The strange mixture of boredom and terror that captivity inspired. Not wanting to agitate the girl any further, Hubert placed the tray of fresh food on the table, while Edelgard dropped the stack of children’s picture books on the bed. Since her siblings no longer had need for them…perhaps it would help the poor girl begin to understand the language of her captors.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The girl looked at the two intruders with confusion and fear, but Edelgard had already begun to walk out of the room. A quiet, hesitant voice stopped the white-haired princess.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Petra.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The girl pointed to herself, and gave Edelgard a beautiful smile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard nodded, and gestured at her chest. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Edelgard.”</em>
</p><p>Petra moved toward her classmates with an easy grace. “I am having great joy at seeing you here, my friends. These people have been missing their homes.” She looked down at the floor. “I am knowing that sadness very well.”</p><p>Edelgard felt a twinge of shame. While she had sat, and consumed herself with guilt for Remire, Petra was diligently making a difference for the survivors. Edelgard had always considered herself a practical person, but just as with Byleth’s offer, she had allowed grief and regret to hold her back. She needed to be better.</p><p>“It’s absolutely lovely, Petra!” Dorothea giggled and put her hand around her friend. “Helping children like this…” The soft, gentle look in the diva’s eyes was inspiring. “If this is what Brigid has to look forward to when you take the throne…well, maybe I’ll move there myself. The tropical air would do wonders for my skin…and someone’s got to keep you from working yourself too hard.”</p><p>Petra looked at Dorothea for a moment, eyes full of innocence. “I am knowing that wherever I am, I am always going to be keeping my friend Dorothea in my heart.” She turned to Edelgard and smiled. “That also is true for you, Edelgard.” She placed on hand on her classmate’s shoulder. “I am hoping for the day when Brigid and the Empire can be working together as equals.”</p><p>“As am I, Petra. For too long Fódlan has been isolated and-“</p><p>“Hello, ladies.” Sylvain’s voice cut through the clamor. “As much as I’d love to stay and chat with all of you, my friend here has a question for Ingrid.” He gently pushed a young girl forward, before departing. Her dark skin and earring were uncannily similar to Dedue. As Ingrid looked at the child, all the color drained from her face.</p><p>“Mr. Caspar was saying that you’re a pegasus knight, Ms. Ingrid! I’ve never met a real, live pegasus before…can you show me? Please? It’s all I’ve ever wanted!”</p><p>Ingrid knelt slowly. “I’m…I…Are you from Remire…little one?” Even for the no-nonsense pegasus knight, the interaction was incredibly awkward.</p><p>“I lived with my grandma there…my Mom and Dad were from…from…”</p><p>“Duscur.” The pegasus knight shook her head, avoiding the eyes of her classmates. “Perhaps it would be better if someone else-“</p><p>“Ingrid would <em>love </em>to show you the stables,” said Edelgard firmly, kneeling next to her friend. “After all,” she knelt and looked Ingrid directly in the eye. “perhaps the best cure for grief is to focus on what lies in front of us, and not in what we have lost.”</p><p>For a long time, Ingrid was silent, fighting an invisible battle. After a few moments, she closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. “I’d love to show you my pegasus.” She extended her hand gingerly. “But I might need some assistance feeding him…do you think you could help me?”</p><p>The young girl eagerly nodded, and grabbed Ingrid’s hand tightly, as they made their way out to the stables. For a brief moment, she turned back to Edelgard, and quietly mouthed her thanks.</p><p>Edelgard turned, and smiled at Petra. “Oh, by the way, have you or Dorothea seen-“</p><p>Petra chuckled. “Professor Byleth is with Flayn…” She leaned forward conspiratorially. “She has been keeping the eyeballs on you since you came here.”</p><p>As Edelgard felt her face begin to turn red, Dorothea laughed, and rubbed her house leader’s shoulder. “Go get ‘em, Edie.” As she walked away, she heard Dorothea’s gentle voice. “Petra, honey, it’s ‘keep an eye on,’ not ‘eyeballs.’”</p><p>Byleth and Flayn were just finishing talking to older woman when Edelgard approached. As the princess sat down, the Ashen Demon looked away, wringing her hands.</p><p>“My teacher,” Edelgard bowed her head. “May I speak with you a moment?”</p><p>Byleth nodded her head slowly, and the two women found a quiet corner. Before the princess could speak, the mercenary’s words spilled out in a flood of anxiety. “I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Edelgard. I’ve never had a friend like you before and I do odd things all the time and lately when I’m around you I feel so strange-“ She looked away, gripping her chest tightly. “Papa always says I have to be careful, and now I’ve ruined-“</p><p>Up until that moment, Edelgard had not realized the true depths of Byleth’s loneliness. To make her a teacher, creating a wall around the students her own age…The princess had not realized how much her friendship meant to the Ashen Demon. In all the Flame Emperor’s many plots and schemes, she had never expected to make someone else…happy.</p><p>For years, Edelgard had expected to die for her goals, and like Ingrid, there was a part of her that had longed for that oblivion. She had never dreamed of seeing the new dawn she imagined for Fódlan. The free world she wanted to create. All she could hope to be was a martyr or villain, a simple cog on the path to the future.</p><p>For so many years, Edelgard had found so many reasons to die. To cast herself on the funeral pyre. But now, incredibly, she was faced with a far more arduous challenge. Over these past few months, Edelgard had finally found reasons to live. To dream of the sunrise after the long, dark night.</p><p>“My teacher.” Edelgard shook her head, momentarily stopping Byleth's restless movement. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>The Ashen Demon’s large eyes widened further. “What? But I-“</p><p>“You did nothing wrong, Professor. I have been…trapped in my own guilt and regrets. For Remire, and for so many other things…” Edelgard shook her head, and found the courage to look into the blue eyes she loved so much. “When you asked me today, I was so consumed by all I had lost…”</p><p>Byleth leaned forward, grabbing Edelgard’s hand in a frenzy. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think about your-“</p><p>“No.” Edelgard shook her head firmly. “I was ignoring the wonderful things that are in front of me right now.”</p><p>It was strange. Byleth’s hands were always so cold to Edelgard’s touch. A match to her teacher’s dispassionate personality. But today, they were not cold at all. They were filled with a heat and warmth that soothed the painful joints of the Flame Emperor.</p><p>“My teacher.” The princess ignored the furious blush on her face, and the unfamiliar lightness in her chest. “I’ll meet you in the great hall tonight…and we can practice together…if you still want...“</p><p>“Yes.” Byleth nodded. “I’d…I’d like that very much, Edelgard. I’ll…” She could not finish her sentence, but the mixture of joy and relief on her face said more than words ever could.</p><p>For so long, Edelgard had given up on happiness. She was alone and unloved, and that was the way it had always been…how it was always supposed to be. The judgment of the Goddess had not just taken away her family, or her hair color, or her hope; it had taken away all of the simple, small, wonderful pleasures of being human.</p><p>How could she laugh, while hiding her true self behind a mask? Dream of tomorrow, while preparing to become a martyr? Fall in love, when she did not love herself? She had ran and hid from the world, cocooned behind a sheet of ice. But perhaps…</p><p>Perhaps, there <em>was </em>someone waiting for Edelgard. Perhaps, she could dare to dream of the future. Perhaps, she could allow herself to be happy.</p><p>Maybe Edelgard had a reason to dance after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>By my count, there are three students in the game who have an actual, canonical death wish-Dimitri, Edelgard, and Ingrid. Dimitri's issues are relatively well-trodden ground by this point. Edelgard forcing her opponents to kill her in three of the four routes is very telling. But I don't see much discussion of Ingrid's problems.</p><p>When she dies as an enemy in CF, she says, "I've become like him." (the JP delivery of the line is especially heartbreaking, because she sounds *happy*) Her death quote in your army is "Glenn, I'll see you soon. Death isn't sad...not really." So much of Ingrid's life is about this quietly self-destructive push to be a knight, and die "with honor."</p><p>There are two things in this game that make me legitimately emotional-Edelgard asking Byleth to call her "El", and Ingrid's solo ending in non-AM routes, where she rejects her old mindset, and makes her territory bloom. It's why I'm so passionate about her as a Crimson Flower recruit-they both reject the emperor and knight roles they were forced into, to grow into something more. </p><p>Petra is a wonderful character, and I thought tying in her first meeting with Edelgard to a chapter that touches on Ingrid's deep-seated bias toward Duscur made sense.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Love, Slipping Away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Wrong foot! You’re supposed to lead with your right!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El stomped her foot, her face as red as the tassels on her outfit. She had been teaching this clod for months now, and he still didn’t get it! How many times did she have to show him? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m s-sorry El…” the blond-haired boy stammered an apology, before he turned his timid blue eyes toward the princess. “At least I didn’t fall this time!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El stamped away, unable to deal with her partner’s ineptitude for a moment longer. He wasn’t taking this seriously! She’d been trying so hard to impress him, and all he ever did was apologize! She pouted, sitting on one of the funny-smelling old chairs that dotted her uncle’s chateau.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“El…” He stood in front of her, nervously shuffling his feet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’d never met a boy this shy in all her life! She had to tell him how to do everything! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Are…are you okay? You seem really upset today…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The princess crossed her arms. Of course she was fine! It wasn’t like she had to spend all day in this stupid house, and Uncle Volkhard never talked to her anymore, and she was cold all the time, and every night she wanted Agnes to read her a story-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her partner fumbled with a handkerchief. “You’re crying, El.” The boy sat down in the chair next to her, and held her hand. “I’m sorry if I made you sad.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El turned and looked at her companion. For so long, the princess had begged and pleaded the Goddess for a friend. A special person, someone who liked El just for who she was. And now, here he stood, his long, girlish blond hair flowing behind him untidily. Whenever she thought about his kind, blue eyes, she felt a strange tingle in her chest. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lately, she found herself thinking more and more about this silly, frustrating boy. The tangle of confusing feelings in the young girl’s heart made her act even more cross and irritable. And now look at her! She was making a fool of herself in front of him! Crying like a homesick child! She was Edelgard von Hresvelg! Princess of Adrestia! She didn’t get scared or miss her father or-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I-I think I’ve figured out how to do that step…” He extended his arm. “Do you think we could try it again?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Fine,” grumbled the brown-haired girl, a small smile breaking through her prickly façade. El grabbed his hand tightly. “We’ll start again from the beginning.” He was so…gentle. It was like those blue eyes could see right through her. See past all the outward arrogance and petulance, to the lonely, kind little girl, deep inside. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looked away for a moment, feeling an odd warmth form on her cheeks. For a while, they danced slowly and hesitantly, El choosing to ignore his mistakes for reasons even she did not understand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I like dancing with you, El.” He smiled at her shyly. “You’re a great teacher.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As he gripped her hand, El said a silent prayer of thanks to the Goddess. She wasn’t alone… “I….I’m sorry about being so mean. You’re getting a lot better.” She looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “Thanks for being my friend.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His face lit up. “We’ll always be friends. No matter what!” The young noble nodded with an unusual confidence. “You gotta promise me, El!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El giggled, as they spun and twirled, in a moment that she wished could last forever. “I promise D-“</em>
</p><p>Edelgard awoke, the sun’s rays shining down on her exhausted face. <em>The boy…why can’t I remember his name</em>? <em>Why can’t I remember his face! Don’t take him away! </em>She scratched and tore at her silver hair, a terrible desolation welling up inside her. Hundreds of images flashed before her eyes, without meaning or sense. In a moment, her friend was gone, sinking back into the bottomless, unknowable ocean of her memories.</p><p>The girl was left adrift, lost without anchor. The past was fragmented, shattered…broken and ruined, just like she was. Edelgard wanted to feel anger, to scream and yell and weep at the horrific injustices wrought upon her, but the fury and the sadness were hidden, lost in a dreadful haze. She wanted to cry so terribly, so desperately. But even that simple consolation was beyond her now.</p><p>It cut to the core of Edelgard’s very being. So much of her past had disappeared. Who, truly, was Edelgard von Hresvelg? The story of her life had been stolen from her-now, she was different, a strange, alien figure, walking in human skin. They had violated her body, cut away all the pieces of El, and stitched them into something different, something new and monstrous and ugly.</p><p>No wonder the Goddess did not answer her pleas-she was not real at all. Just a mockery of life, an imposter born in the dungeons of Enbarr. In the end, the calculus was simple-a brown-haired girl had walked into a cell, and a white-haired girl had crawled out.</p><p>The girl that boy had loved…El…was gone.</p><p>All that was left…was <em>this</em>! She threw water on the face in the mirror, wishing she could melt away, disappear like snow in spring. She wanted it all to vanish-the scars, the nightmares, her strange hair, and this empty shell that stood before her, that taunted her at every moment.</p><p>The knock at the door startled her, water droplets falling through her hands, onto the wooden floor of her room. She grabbed a towel, dabbing her face, desperate to appear composed when everything was so terribly broken inside.</p><p>
  <em>Breathe. The only person who can understand your pain is you. No one else. Keep moving forward. Keep fighting.</em>
</p><p>The princess gathered herself, raising her shoulders, one hand on her hip to express a confidence and control she did not feel. For so many years, the Flame Emperor had bluffed her way through life, a terrified child hiding behind a mask of dispassionate logic. As she opened the door, the vulnerability in her eyes was replaced by steel.</p><p>It was Byleth. Her teacher walked into the room, and sat on Edelgard’s bed with the easy, relaxed bearing of a large cat. While Edelgard hid everything, buried her true self, her teacher simply…was. The Ashen Demon tilted her head to her student and smiled.</p><p>“You’re nervous.”</p><p>Edelgard huffed lightly. “I am not! The White Heron Cup is just another challenge for me to overcome-one that I intend to pass with-“ She paused, hand posed dramatically on her chest. Byleth was unsuccessfully trying to hide her laughter with her hand. It came out in a loud bark, uncannily similar to her father.</p><p>“And what…” Edelgard leaned forward, exasperated. “...Is so terribly funny?”</p><p>The Ashen Demon shook her head. “Now I know you are…because whenever you get nervous…” she looked at Edelgard, face full of mirth. “You always talk like that.” She stood, mirroring her student’s stance with nose upturned. “<em>I am Edelgard von Hresvelg, and my victory is inevitable.” </em></p><p>Even the princess had to admit, the impersonation was rather good. She picked up a pillow, and threw it at Byleth, the projectile bouncing softly off the Ashen Demon’s shoulder and falling to the floor. “You…you are impossible! I…”</p><p>As she looked at the twinkle in Byleth’s eyes, her defenses shattered. The Ashen Demon was upon her in a flash, grabbing her arms and spinning her around the cramped room. Edelgard reflexively adjusted into the proper stance for dancing. Her back straightened, her breathing relaxed…she began to carefully guide Byleth, turning the awkward, frenetic twirl into an elegant, silent waltz.</p><p>“See?” said her teacher, with a knowing grin. “You’re very good. You even make me feel graceful.” Edelgard let out a <em>very</em> undignified snort, only to lower her head in embarrassment. This only caused Byleth to laugh all the harder. “I know you always have so much on your mind, Edelgard…” The mercenary drew closer to her dance partner. “…But when you laugh, I feel like…I’m seeing the real you.”</p><p>For the second time in Edelgard’s life, blue eyes saw right through her. The princess leaned forward, and the endless azure washed away all the whispering voices. The fears that this, too, would be taken away. That the Goddess would not allow the Flame Emperor this small bit of happiness.</p><p>For a moment, they silently danced. Edelgard could only stare at her teacher, in awe of the strength and honor and determination that hid a heart full of kindness. The princess could feel the breath begin to leave her body, a weakness that had nothing to do with the speed of her movement.</p><p>The light from Edelgard’s window seemed to shimmer in Byleth’s dark hair, outlining her with a divine radiance. Her beauty caused a terrible pain in the Flame Emperor’s heart-an ache not from scalpels or scars, but from loneliness and longing.</p><p>The Flame Emperor wanted to steal this woman, hide away in some secret, quiet place. Run away from her duty, from her terrible birthright, from this broken, shattered world the Goddess had created. Create a world, just for the two of them.</p><p><em>If the Goddess allowed it,</em> <em>I’d make her happy, for as long as I lived. Love her as long as there was air in my lungs. Never let her go…</em></p><p>The student and teacher edged closer and closer to one another, noses almost touching. Overcome with exuberance, Byleth mistimed a step, stumbling momentarily. Gloved hands stabilized the Ashen Demon, gently guiding her back to solid ground.</p><p>“I’m still so clumsy…I’m sorry, Edelgard. You’re sure that you don’t want another partner? I’m sure Dorothea would-”</p><p>The princess gave a demonstrative shake of the head. “No. When…I’m around you…” She looked away, long-buried feelings overwhelming her. “I don’t have to pretend. To be the perfect leader everyone expects me to be.” She squeezed Byleth’s hand tightly. “And neither do you.”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip. “But…you’re so elegant and… and…” There was another word the mercenary was unable to vocalize. “You could dance with anyone. Somebody who smiles and wasn’t raised in the woods…” She looked away. “Someone…normal.”</p><p>“My teacher…” Edelgard looked up at her light. At that moment, there was no trace of the hardened Flame Emperor. Just a quiet softness and vulnerability that had long lay hidden behind lilac eyes. “Why do you want to dance with me? Right now?”</p><p>Byleth thought carefully for a moment, face scrunched with adorable incomprehension. Finally, the Ashen Demon arrived at an answer. “Because you’re Edelgard, and being with you makes me happy.” She gave a final nod, punctuating the statement.</p><p>“That’s why I need you.” Edelgard spun Byleth to the right, following a tune in her head. “We’re connected. I’ve known it from the moment we met. Before, it was like we were both…” she searched futilely for the words.</p><p>“Wandering flames.” Byleth’s eyes grew distant.</p><p>The words seemed strangely familiar to the princess. A message from a different world, another life. She ignored the strange doom those words seemed to inspire, the pain and trembling in Byleth’s voice. They had each other. Now. In this moment, and that was all that mattered.</p><p>“You…both look very nice.” Edelgard turned in horror, only to see Marianne standing at the entrance to her room, fingers full of nervous motion. “You’re going to win the dance contest. I’m-I’m sure of it.” For a moment, her head hung. “I wish I was that talented.”</p><p>Byleth shook her head, dismissing the thought. She walked forward, before placing a strong, stable hand on the cleric’s shoulder. “For years, I didn’t know where my place was, or who I was supposed to be. But then I came here…” Her eyes fell back to Edelgard. “There’s something special inside you, Marianne. But you have to believe it..”</p><p>The Ashen Demon hung by the door for a moment. “I’ll see you at the Cup, Edelgard.” She shook her head, running fingers through the blue mane of hair. “What’s that you’re always saying?” She put her hand on her hip, a roguish expression on her face. “<em>I shall prevail!”</em></p><p>Edelgard gave a small smile. Before, that was what she had believed. She was alone, and Fódlan’s future depended solely on her. They were her victories. Her sacrifices. Her sins. But perhaps she did not believe that anymore.</p><p>“No, my teacher.” Edelgard wagged her finger. “<em>We </em>shall prevail.” The princess and the mercenary giggled for a moment. “They’ll never know what hit them.”</p><p>Byleth gave Marianne an animated wave, and tromped off, heading toward the Great Hall. Margrave Edmund’s heir watched her teacher leave, still remaining in the hallway of the dormitories. Her eyes flitted toward Edelgard, but her body seemed paralyzed, wracked with indecision.</p><p>“Would you like to come in?” The princess gestured to the solitary chair in her spartan room. “I wouldn’t mind the company.”</p><p>“Oh…oh no!” Marianne raised her hands. “I...I’m sure you’re really busy and I’m a bother and-“</p><p>“Marianne…” Edelgard put her hands on her hips. “I am sure you are not standing outside the door to my room for no reason.” The words came out harsher then Edelgard desired, but Marianne seemed to intuitively grasp the concern hidden underneath.</p><p>As the Leicester noble sat in the chair, her hands nervously smoothed the front of her dress. Edelgard fussed with the interior of her desk for a moment, before producing a bag of caramels and offering it to her guest.</p><p>“Oh…Edelgard…I can’t-“</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous, Of course you can.” Edelgard unwrapped a piece, and tossed it into her mouth. “This is from the best confectionary in all of Enbarr, and I will be deeply offended if you do not take a piece.”</p><p>Marianne did not seem to grasp the awkward humor in Edelgard’s speech, and quickly thrust her hand into the bag. As she ate the candy, a look of deep contentment appeared on her face. “Edelgard…this is…”</p><p>“Fantastic, isn’t it?” The princess gave an approving nod. “My uncle used to take me there when I was…in happier days.” She shook her head, dispelling the painful memory. “Now…what can I do for you, Marianne?”</p><p>The girl, put at ease by her house leader’s attempt at fellowship, gave a small smile. “I…have a problem. One that only…you can really understand, I think.” For a moment, she paused, releasing a deep sigh. “Ferdinand asked me…to…if I’d…”</p><p>Edelgard gave her an encouraging nod.</p><p>“He....he wants me to go to the ball with him.”</p><p>Edelgard clasped her hands together. “But that’s wonderful, Marianne! Do you have a dress? What are you-“ The princess stopped, as she realized that Marianne’s shoulders had begun to shake. Edelgard quietly sat on the bed, waiting for the distraught girl to collect herself.</p><p>“I loved my parents so much, Edelgard. And…then they were…” She buried her face in her hands. “They disappeared, because of the curse of my family’s Crest…One that brings great misfortune on…” Her breathing became ragged.</p><p>Edelgard quietly spoke, attempting to keep her voice steady. “I had my suspicions. There are some old references in Imperial documents to the Crest of the Erased Hero…along with a Crest of the Beast…” She put a hand on her chin. “Is that your Crest, Marianne?”</p><p>The distraught girl nodded slowly. “I…I understood what I had to do. That the Goddess...had cursed me, and that I-I…needed to stay away from everyone, so they… didn’t get hurt when I turned into…” She began to whimper quietly. “Being…alone was…was so hard, but I…I did it…because it was the right thing to do!”</p><p>The princess reached out her arm, and gripped Marianne’s hand tightly.</p><p>“Why couldn’t the Goddess leave me alone?! Haven’t I suffered enough?” Marianne’s voice became hysterical. “I like him so much, Edelgard. The other day, he…he left flowers in my room, just because I seemed sad. If I ever hurt him, I’d…” She broke down, and began to sob. “Why did She…tempt me with something I can’t ever…”</p><p>The Flame Emperor felt a deep and terrible rage welling inside her. Marianne’s faith was pure and true. She relied on the Goddess, and dedicated her life to prayer and simple, faithful belief. And how had it been rewarded? By being turned into a pariah, left to wander the world alone.</p><p>The Goddess claimed that everyone had a purpose, but what was Marianne’s? A life with no friends, no love, no hope? What divine plan would that satisfy? How dare the Goddess stand in judgment of anyone! How could She possibly understand the quiet, hopeful little dreams of people like Marianne? All the girl wanted was to be loved! Just like Edelgard-</p><p>The princess slammed her fist into her desk, startling Marianne. For a moment, the Flame Emperor paused, before turning back to her classmate apologetically. “I have to tell you something. Not to make this about my own pain, but to assure you that my words are not given carelessly. That I am not telling you anything I have not told myself, countless times.”</p><p>The quiet girl’s gaze rose off of the floor.</p><p>“I…used to believe too, Marianne. I loved the Goddess…so, so much. She was…” Edelgard’s lilac eyes became fixed on the ceiling. “She...She was my friend.”</p><p>Marianne nodded, but did not speak.</p><p>Edelgard took her sleeve, and rolled it up, slowly and hesitantly, revealing the mutilated skin underneath. Keloids had formed on many of the most brutal scars, brown bulky lumps that caused the princess to shudder whenever she saw them. Marianne stared ahead, overwhelmed by the quiet agony that radiated from her classmate.</p><p>“They itch and burn. Every day.” Edelgard looked down at her arm in disgust. “And every time they do, I’m reminded of how the Goddess abandoned me. Left me alone to suffer, just like She left you.”</p><p>Edelgard folded her hands, to keep them from shaking. “I know the Goddess hates me. You know the Scriptures, just as well as I do. She protects those that are beautiful, and good.” The princess stood, and looked out the window. “It is clear that I am neither of those things.”</p><p>“Edelgard…I…”</p><p>She quickly pulled down her sleeve, only allowing herself to breathe when her shame was hidden. She sat and stared directly into Marianne’s eyes.</p><p>“So what will you do?”</p><p>Marianne seemed to shrink into herself. “What…what do you mean? I-“</p><p>“Will you accept this as your fate? That the Goddess created you, cursed you to a miserable and lonely existence?” Edelgard’s voice was filled with zealotry. “Will you spend your life trying to please a Goddess that demands you to love Her, but does not love you in return?” She clenched her fist. “Or will you live? Will you <em>fight</em>?”</p><p>“I…I’m not that strong…Not like you…”</p><p>“Nonsense.” Edelgard shook her head. “Every day, you suffer through a pain few can comprehend. That few could stand. That is true strength.” Instantly, her stern features collapsed, and she gave Marianne a gentle smile. “Please. Go with Ferdinand. You both deserve to be happy.”</p><p>A small smile broke through the Leicester noble’s face as she stood. “I...I’ll try.” She paused by the door. “Edelgard…I…” She gathered herself. “I think you’re wrong.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor shrank back, body curling into a defensive posture. “Oh…” she mumbled cautiously. “About what?”</p><p>“I…I can sense…feelings.” Marianne looked away shyly. “Ever since I was a child, I just always…knew how animals and people felt. It’s how I talk to Dorte.” She gave a melancholy smile. “Sylvain and Petra… are always hiding how sad they are, and Dorothea and Lysithea are so scared…” She looked at Edelgard with deeply piercing grey eyes. “But you…”</p><p>Edelgard felt the breath leave her lungs. “What about me?”</p><p>“You’re angry and scared and sad…but most of all, you care…so much about everyone. It hurts you…so, so much.” She shook her head. “That day we fought Miklan…those bandits that had hurt women and children…you feel like it’s your fault.”</p><p>Marianne’s words rendered the princess speechless.</p><p>“You think you’re not good, and that’s why the Goddess hates you...But bad people don’t think like that.” She pushed a messy lock of hair out of her eyes. “I-I hope you tell the Professor soon…” She began to blush. “You make each other so happy.”</p><p>The girl was consumed with embarrassment, and left without waiting for Edelgard’s response. For a moment, the Flame Emperor sat silently, before walking over to her desk. She slowly pulled open the drawer, and pulled out a beautiful silver necklace, engraved with the two-headed Eagle of the Adrestian Empire. With a quiet smile, Edelgard placed the precious gift back in the drawer, and locked it tightly.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Edelgard arrived in the Great Hall, the majority of the school was already seated. The sounds of excited chatter echoed off the walls of the large structure, and the Black Eagles had made sure to obtain front row seats. Even Bernadetta had left her room, giving Edelgard a tentative wave of acknowledgement.</p><p>The princess felt a pull on her arm, and suddenly Byleth was dragging her along, blue eyes full of enthusiasm. The princess and the mercenary carefully weaved their way through the crowd, until they encountered their competition.</p><p>Lorenz was leaning against a wall, idly examining his fingernails. His dance partner, Raphael, was happily talking to the Blue Lions contestant, Annette, and her partner, Ashe. At Byleth and Edelgard’s arrival, the three students greeted them excitedly.</p><p>While engaged in some light chatter, Edelgard heard a small cough, and turned to see Manuela standing next to her. The princess felt her face light up, unable to hide her fondness for the healer. She gestured to Lorenz, who was currently attempting to impress Annette.</p><p>“He doesn’t realize she’s been making eyes at Ashe this entire time.” Manuela began to laugh, a musical, rich sound that was almost unearthly. “Typical.” She produced a flask, as if by magic, and took a long, heavy drink.</p><p>“Isn’t it a…little early, Professor? It’s not even noon…” Edelgard’s brow creased with worry.</p><p>The songstress waved her hand. “First, the man of my dreams failed to arrive for a rendezvous last night, then I’m woken from a…slight hangover by Claude.” She took another slow sip. “What else am I to do?”</p><p>“Why did Claude wake you?” Edelgard’s curiosity was piqued.</p><p>“Because Leonie and Hilda both threatened me when I asked them to be Lorenz’s partner, and <em>I </em>wasn’t about to do it…” Claude appeared behind Manuela and Edelgard, wrapping his arms around both their shoulders. “I still say you could have volunteered, Professor.”</p><p>A fresh wave of nausea appeared upon Manuela’s face. As she shook her head, Claude turned to Edelgard and smiled. “Good luck out there today, Princess.” He leaned his head in conspiratorially, voice lowered to a whisper. “I can’t say this officially...house pride and all, but…” He pretended to glance around the room furtively. “Please beat him, for all our sakes.”</p><p>Edelgard and Claude both began to laugh, and the Golden Deer leader gave Edelgard a comforting slap on the shoulder before leaving to take a seat next to Hilda. Manuela smiled at the princess. “I’m pleased to see you do something like this…” She pointed to Byleth, who was attempting to remove one of the many food stains from Raphael’s shirt. “You two make such an adorable couple.”</p><p>Edelgard felt herself begin to blush. “I…well…”</p><p>“Between you and me, Dorothea and I have a running bet. Are you going to tell her the night of the ball, or her birthday next month?” Manuela gave Edelgard a motherly smile. “And don’t try to pretend you don’t have it all planned out, my dear…I know you much too well for that.”</p><p>The princess gave a prolonged sigh. “I’m going to ask her to stay with me after I ascend to the throne tomorrow night, and next month…” Edelgard felt herself unable to find any further words. “I must admit, I am rather…”</p><p>“Don’t you dare say that you’re nervous!” Manuela shook her head. “You’ve got her eating out of the palm of your hand.” She gave Edelgard’s shoulder a tender squeeze, before glancing around the room. “By the way, I’ve got a new ointment, freshly imported from Dagda. It’s supposed to help with pain relief from...<em>scarring</em>. Stop by my office tonight.”</p><p>Edelgard put a hand to her chin. “You won’t get in trouble for this? I know the Church can be-“</p><p>Manuela snorted. “What those old fuddy-duddies don’t know won’t hurt them! What kind of healer would I be if I ignored a wonderful patient like you?” She scrunched her face. “Even if that boy in the Abyss charged the most ridiculous-“</p><p>A trumpet began to sound, signaling the beginning of the competition. Manuela wished Edelgard good luck, before standing next to her fellow judges.</p><p>The princess stood next to her teacher, arms interlocked, as they waited for their turn. To stand this close…to make contact with the woman she adored so deeply…it was the greatest comfort and most exquisite torment. Edelgard would not have traded it for all the riches of the Empire.</p><p>Lorenz and Raphael’s performance was a disaster. After Raphael stepped on Lorenz’s toes for the fourth time, the Gloucester heir had stomped off. As Raphael stood on stage, completely bewildered, Claude had led the crowd of Garreg Mach in a standing ovation for the gentle giant.</p><p>Annette and Ashe were a fabulous team, with their exuberance and spirit making up for any technical missteps. They finished to raucous applause. Dimitri was finally forced to quietly wrangle Mercedes, who stood and clapped long after everyone else for her beloved Annie.</p><p>Finally, it was Edelgard and Byleth’s turn. Byleth extended her palm, allowing Edelgard to grasp her teacher’s hand firmly. For years, her body had not felt another’s warmth. The only hands she had felt were those holding her down on a bloodstained table. It had cracked and warped the princess’ mind, made her believe that simple gestures of affection were not meant for her. That she was created only to be hurt.</p><p>But Byleth wanted to <em>hold her hand</em>! To dance with Edelgard! It still seemed unreal, like a wonderful dream that she would wake from at any moment. As they waited for the music to start, neither woman could hide the smiles on their faces. If the world had rejected Byleth Eisner and Edelgard von Hresvelg, then perhaps they did not need the world. Perhaps they only needed each other.</p><p>Everything else dissolved, as the music began to play. There was only Edelgard and Byleth, only the love and the trust and the friendship that made them care for each other so deeply. The dance was not just about the music or the movement-it was about their bond, the purest expression of their love for one another.</p><p>In that moment, for the first time in so very long, Edelgard felt beautiful. She felt needed. She felt wanted. Like a bird soaring through the sky, free from the burdens and the horror that had defined the girl’s life.</p><p>The music stopped, and the crowd cheered. Edelgard and Byleth raised their hands, and bowed to the audience, before Byleth pulled her student’s hand aloft. The princess turned to look at Byleth…</p><p>
  <em>The warmth of Byleth’s hands was gone. The world was grey. It had happened again. Edelgard felt her hands shake, as she looked around her chambers at Enbarr, the mirror next to her bed taunting the princess with her failure. With her future.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The woman in the mirror had bags under her eyes, from countless sleepless nights. Stern, pursed lips, and demonic horns jutting from her crown. Perhaps this was the answer to who Edelgard von Hresvelg was, all along. The villain, the warmonger, the Flame Emperor clad in red, heartless and cold.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She stumbled toward the balcony, searching for the air that seemed to have escaped her lungs, only for her eye to stop upon a canvas, covered in thick sheet. Edelgard was drawn to it, irresistibly, the panic in her heart steadily rising. She had to know. She had to see. Red gloved hands reached to uncover the painting…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Your Majesty.” Hubert coughed, and Edelgard felt herself jump. His hand reached out, and slowly lowered the Emperor’s arm. “I wish you would not torture yourself…you know that the die was cast as soon as-”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“As soon as what?” Edelgard turned to her retainer. If the Goddess wanted to torture her with these visions…well two could play at that game! She would change this future. Prevent it from coming to pass! “When did it go wrong?!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert gave his liege a look of deep concern. “I…I believe that we never recovered from when their agent killed...that woman’s father.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Jeralt?! They killed Jeralt?” The Flame Emperor snarled in a rage. “Who was it Hubert?! Tell me!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert was clearly unsettled. “It was Monica..” He gently guided the Emperor to her bed, and forced her to sit. The young Count Vestra shook his head. “Your Majesty, I understand you may not be in the best state to…but I…have to give a report.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Of…course, Hubert.” Edelgard’s mind was reeling, her voice distracted and distant.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“The resistance army is amassing outside the gates of Enbarr. I…must go to command the troops.” Hubert’s tone betrayed no agitation, or fear. “I have taken all the necessary precautions for if I…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“NO!” Edelgard grabbed his shoulders, trying to will the world back into sense. “Hubert, I…command you, as your Emperor, to retreat! Run away! Live the life you deserved!“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>An amused chuckle escaped Hubert’s lips. “As always, when it is not in your best interest, I shall choose to disobey your orders. Besides…” He shook his head, an innocent smile appearing on his face. For a moment, he was not the master assassin, but the shy little boy Edelgard remembered from the castle gardens. “I vowed to protect you, until the end.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hubert…please…don't go..”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“There is no other life for me. No other happiness, outside of helping to fulfill your vision.” He stood to his full and imposing height, before giving his liege a deep bow. “Serving you has been the greatest pleasure of my life, Lady Edelgard.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For a moment, Edelgard and Hubert looked at each other silently, words unable to express the confused knot of emotions and feelings that now welled up inside them. Perhaps, in a kinder, better world, they would have been friends, or lovers, or family…but here, they were Emperor Hresvelg and Count Vestra. Lord and retainer, forever intertwined, yet forever apart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Flame Emperor grabbed Hubert’s hand, and gripped it tightly. “I understand, Count Vestra. Then…I leave the defense of Enbarr in your capable hands.” Hubert nodded serenely, and made his way to the door. For a moment, he stopped, but did not turn around.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Goodbye, El.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And he was gone.</em>
</p><p>The vision disappeared. Edelgard was standing back in the present. Back with Byleth. It was all she could do to remain standing, her already pale skin turning even paler. Byleth turned to her student, and immediately sensed her discomfort. Strong hands guided her student past a flurry of congratulations and well-wishes, and into a nearby chair.</p><p>“Are you okay Edelgard?” Byleth knelt down. “As soon as they said we won…you just…”</p><p>“My teacher.” The princess choked the words out, still reeling. “I…we must talk. Not here. But-“</p><p>“Edelgard! That was a fantastic performance!” Dimitri’s praise echoed loudly off of the walls of the Great Hall. He rushed forward, shaking her hands with an uncharacteristic exuberance. There was no trace of the artificial, unsettling voice that made Edelgard so uncomfortable. He seemed so genuine. So happy for her success.</p><p>“I…thank you, Prince Dimitri.” As annoyed as Edelgard was by his sudden interruption, there was a charming warmth and kindness in the prince’s blue eyes. It was infectious, the unexpected praise momentarily distracting her.</p><p>“And Professor Byleth! Where did you learn to dance like that? Did she-“ He gestured at the princess, a beaming smile on his face. When Byleth nodded happily, he began to laugh. “Edelgard is a truly gifted instructor. I think she could teach anyone, no matter how clumsy they were, how to dance….” He gave Edelgard a significant look, chuckling softly.</p><p>The princess was completely bewildered. “I…appreciate the compliment…but I am not-“</p><p>“Edelgard.” Dimitri shook his head. “Would you mind, if…during the ball…we danced? It would mean a great deal to me.” He gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “If you do not…I would certainly understand…“</p><p>The pounding in Edelgard’s head grew worse and worse. Why in the world would the Prince of Faerghus…? Why did he always act like this to her? She cleared her throat, tone cool and businesslike. “Of course, Prince Dimitri. I think it would be a wonderful gesture of friendship between our countries.”</p><p>At these words, the joy in Dimitri’s eyes dimmed slightly. He quietly agreed, the unnatural tone in his voice slowly returning. After a few more pleasantries, he gave both women a deep bow, before taking his leave.</p><p>Even as Edelgard and Byleth held the White Heron Cup aloft, her mind remained distracted. On the unsettling familiarity in Dimitri’s blue eyes, and the haunted gaze in Hubert’s. She gripped Byleth’s hand tightly. Her past had been stolen from her…she would not allow the future to be taken away, too.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It was long past midnight when Edelgard knocked on the door to Hubert’s room. As he opened the door, clearly still engaged in work, his tired eyes widened in shock.</p><p>The future Emperor of Adrestia was carrying one of Garreg Mach’s famous meat pies on a tray, along with a fresh cup of coffee. The retainer’s face darkened in anger. “I will <em>not </em>allow you to serve me food. There is an order to our relationship-“</p><p>“Bernadetta and Ferdinand said you have not been in the dining hall all day.” Edelgard marched into Hubert’s room, and placed the food on his desk. “And this is not the princess serving her retainer… I am simply helping my oldest and dearest friend, a man I trust with my life, whether he wants it or not.”</p><p>Hubert seemed to recognize that the hardened look on Edelgard’s face meant the topic was no longer open for discussion. He sighed, trying and failing to hide his enjoyment of one of his favorite meals.</p><p>After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Hubert looked up from his late supper. “Is…there another reason you came here this late, Lady Edelgard?”</p><p>“You know how I feel about you staining your hands.” The princess turned and faced the wall, attempting to hide the distress in her voice. “I trust you understand that I would only ask you to do this if it was absolutely necessary.”</p><p>Hubert placed the food aside and stood. “I am always ready to cut a scarlet path for you, Lady Edelgard. What is your will?”</p><p>“Monica.” The Flame Emperor turned, lilac eyes burning with anger. “I need you to kill Monica.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-I (really, really) don’t ship Hubert and Dimitri with Edelgard, but I think all their interactions should be tinged with a sense that in a different life, they could have been more than what they end up becoming. This chapter is about three people that Edelgard cares for and loves deeply, in the past, the present, and the future.</p><p>-I gave everyone partners for the White Heron Cup because it's 1) awkward to have people dancing by themselves, and 2) it allowed me to dunk on Lorenz more. </p><p>-I tried to have Edelgard's advice to Marianne mirror another piece of advice she gives in the game. I wanted this to be good, thoughtful advice, while still showing how destructive living this way has been to Edelgard's psychology. </p><p>-I was certainly not going to have a character as smart as Edelgard continue to "see" the future, without trying to gather information (Also, if you're wondering, yes, our favorite doofus Byleth used Divine Pulse during the dance, trying to impress Edelgard).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. The Night of the Ball</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I once performed through eleven-<em>eleven!</em>-costume changes, and I have <em>never</em>…” Dorothea paced around the room, watched nervously by Petra. The diva let out a deep, dramatic sigh, and turned back to the bed, where three of her classmates nervously sat. “Still…” she clapped her hands together, clearly pleased with herself. “I’ve done more with less.”</p><p>Every so often, Ingrid would stare longingly at the door, while Lysithea’s eyes had narrowed dangerously. Edelgard, for her part, quietly fidgeted with her thumbs. She tried to convince herself the anxiety was simply due to Hubert’s task, but it rang false. There was another worry that hung in the Flame Emperor’s mind.</p><p>Tonight, at the ball, she would ask her teacher a very important question. Not the one she longed to ask, but a request that still carried the terrible weight of her hopes and dreams, and supported her fragile heart. If Byleth said no…</p><p>“Edie! You’re not paying attention!” Dorothea’s voice startled the princess, breaking her out of her brooding. The diva held a beautiful dark purple dress aloft. “I think this would go lovely with your skin tone, and we must do something special with your hair-“</p><p>Edelgard looked at the gown. It was certainly beautiful, but it also would expose her shoulders, her arms…She shuddered at the thought, at the rumors and whispers it would inspire. No, such pretty, frivolous things were not for her.</p><p>She stood abruptly. “The dress isn’t even tailored to me. While I certainly appreciate the thought, I will simply wear my academy outfit.” She gave her classmates a terse nod of acknowledgement. “I shall meet you all at the Black Eagle classroom tonight.”</p><p>Ignoring Dorothea’s words of protest, the princess briskly made her way down the steps outside the student dormitories. Perhaps she needed to take a walk, just to calm her nerves. That always made her feel-</p><p>The Flame Emperor stopped. Someone was lurking behind the corner of the dormitories. A flash of red hair-<em>Monica.</em> In an instant, Edelgard drew her dagger. If she was skulking around…The figure remained still, as the princess grew closer and closer. She raised her hand…</p><p>“HEY!” The voice was not Monica’s saccharine squeal, but a man’s voice. “What the hell are you doing, Edelgard?”</p><p>The princess hurriedly returned her weapon to its sheath. “I saw a figure eavesdropping on my classmates. With those students disappearing…I-”</p><p>A look of dawning realization appeared on the Faerghus noble’s face. “Oh…heh…I guess that would be pretty suspicious. No bad intentions here. I was just going to talk to…” He gave an awkward chuckle, which Edelgard did not return. “I…oh…you don’t think I…I was…”</p><p>“Please don’t try to claim you are above such behavior, Sylvain.”</p><p>This seemed to strike a nerve in the young man, an edge becoming evident under his flippant tone. “Hey, if I wanted to look a pretty lady, I’d just wait until you wore a dancer’s outfit on the battlefield…I know that’d motivate me.”</p><p>Edelgard let out a long sigh. “I had hoped our friendship meant more to you than cheap jokes. You remind me of nobles in the Empire. Hiding your contempt for others behind a veneer of respectability.” She turned to leave, only to feel Sylvain’s hand stop her.</p><p>The Flame Emperor was not a woman given to hysterics, but Sylvain’s expression was frightening. For a moment, as his face was consumed with rage and anger, he looked just like Miklan. “Don’t talk to me like that. I care…a lot. I’m not perfect, but-“</p><p>“<em>Never</em> touch me like that…ever again.” Edelgard violently disentangled herself from his grip. “I know you. I respect you greatly. You are far from the rake you present yourself as...but this false persona-it still hurts people.”</p><p>For a few moments, Sylvain only responded with a long, bitter laugh. Finally, his scowl returned. “You telling me that is rich, Princess. You’re hiding something, just like me. I don’t know what it is, but don’t you dare lecture-.”</p><p>“Fair enough.” Sylvain’s words struck home, and Edelgard’s posture became rigid. “I’ll say no more. I don’t care what others think about me, but-” The princess looked up at the flirt. “You’ve seen how your behavior affects Ingrid. Can’t you-“</p><p>At those words, Sylvain’s anger deflated, shoulders slumping. He began to run his hands frantically through his red hair. “Hey, um, speaking of... her…I was wondering…has she mentioned going with any guys…y’know, to the dance?”</p><p>“No.” Edelgard tapped her foot. “I believe she was looking forward to a quiet evening, one without suitors or marriage proposals.”</p><p>“Oh…okay. Good for her.” The young man exhaled, before the vulnerability in his eyes vanished. “I guess I’ll see you later tonight then.”</p><p>“Yes, I will see you there.” Edelgard began to leave, before coming to a stop. Abruptly, she doubled back toward the Faerghus noble. “There is something I must tell you. For many years, I have not truly…had friends…”</p><p>“What about-“</p><p>“Hubert and I are…different.” She let out a long sigh. “I cannot begin to understand your history with Ingrid, or what it is like to have such a friendship. But it is clear you are important to each other.” The princess stomped forward, full of fury at the world that had stolen and tainted every relationship she had ever made. “Treasure it.”</p><p>Sylvain’s brown eyes widened. “What?”</p><p>“You have been given a gift beyond price. To have someone who knows you. The real you…and stays by your side…” Edelgard’s voice began to crack, as she thought of Byleth’s trusting azure eyes. “Be the person Ingrid believes you to be.”</p><p>Sylvain remained silent, as his house leader made her way across the lawn. Finally, his voice called out, full of sincerity. “Edelgard.” The Flame Emperor turned. “Good luck tonight!” He gave her a breezy wink and a thumbs-up. “We’re all rooting for you!”</p><p>Edelgard tried to ignore the stares and whispers from the rest of the student body. It was a weekend afternoon, and half the student population, from Ignatz to Mercedes, had overheard Sylvain’s words. Eager to avoid Hilda’s annoyed glare, Edelgard ducked behind a hedge. She placed a hand to her chest.</p><p>
  <em>I’m not nervous…I’m the Flame Emperor, future leader of Adrestia…I shall reforge this world. I do not get-</em>
</p><p>“You’re nervous.” At the words, Edelgard jumped. Ingrid was standing nearby, face full of sympathy.</p><p>“But I thought you-“ Edelgard gestured back toward the dormitories.</p><p>“Dorothea and Lysithea are fighting about makeup, and I took the opportunity to slip out.” The pegasus knight gave a sly smile. “I think Lysithea’s enjoying being pampered a lot more than she lets on.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “I’m sure she is.” She shrugged, allowing her royal bearing to slip slightly. “Dorothea will probably run her through fourteen different shades before the ball. Are you sure you don’t-“</p><p>“No.” Ingrid slumped down against the hedge. “I’m sorry. I just…hate all of this, so, so much.”</p><p>Edelgard gently sat next to her friend. “If I may be honest…” her voice faltered for a moment. “I don’t care for balls much either.”</p><p>
  <em>“Tell me, Edelgard…what happened to your siblings?” Duke Aegir’s face contorted into a terrible sneer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was no life in the princess’ lilac eyes. “My siblings all died of Faerghus Sleeping Sickness. I was bedridden for months. That is why my hair is now white.” The young girl’s responses were mechanical and cold. A voice beyond pain or sadness or weakness. There was no fight left. “I miss them every day.” Her detached explanation echoed off the walls of her bedroom.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aegir’s hand slapped the young girl’s face. She simply stared ahead, spirit seemingly fleeing her body. In her mind, she was not here. Instead, she was a bird, flying free somewhere in the sky, far from this terrible room. “Do you expect the nobles at this ball will believe that? Where are your tears?” He grabbed her hair and pulled. “They need to see the princess, alive and well. Do better, or you’ll spend a night in the dungeons. With the <strong>rats</strong>.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At those words, Edelgard fell to her knees, and grabbed Aegir’s legs. Any dignity the young girl had left was gone. All she could see was the red eyes, and the teeth biting into her fingers and the sight of them eating… “PLEASE!” El began to wail hysterically. “Don’t put me back down there. Not with-Don’t leave me with-“ Her voice descended into inarticulate shrieks, and she began to rock back and forth.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“If I hear one word, one whisper about <strong>any </strong>strange behavior at the ball tonight.” Aegir rubbed his fingers together. “You’ll spend a week down there.” He walked out of the room, leaving the shattered girl curled into a ball on the floor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had to hide it. Hide all the pain. No one would care, no one would listen, not even the Goddess. There was something wrong with her. That was why the Goddess let these men hurt her. If no one liked the old Edelgard…she’d just have to pretend to be someone else. Someone strong and brave and mean. That’s the Edelgard they’d see at the ball tonight.</em>
</p><p>Ingrid turned to her friend with surprise. “But you’re such a wonderful dancer! You always are so composed and…graceful…I wish I could be-”</p><p>For a moment, the two women sat, as the sound of carefree students echoed around the gardens of Garreg Mach. Edelgard deliberated, carefully considering how much to reveal to one of her closest friends. Byleth, Ingrid, Lysithea…despite how much they had shared, despite how deeply the princess cared for them, they did not know her at all. Not really.</p><p>“There was an…expectation. Of who I was supposed to be.” Edelgard sighed. “And if I didn’t meet it-“ She trailed off, desperately avoiding the pain that now welled inside her. Her voice slipped back into an emotionless monotone. “The consequences were dire.”</p><p>Ingrid shook her head. “Edelgard. I have to ask you something.” When the princess failed to respond, the pegasus knight coughed, and forged ahead. “When we…talk…you never say anything about yourself. Not really.” The Flame Emperor’s lilac eyes remained fixed on the gazebo in front of her. “Did…something happen? I…want to help, but I…just, sometimes-“</p><p>“<strong>Why do you care</strong>?!”</p><p>Edelgard felt something terrible inside her snap, a violent rage she kept tightly bound. It was ugly and vicious and it erupted from deep inside before she knew what was even happening. She hated herself as soon as the words left her mouth. <em>You monster! Is this how you treat your friends? No wonder they’re going to leave you! </em>She clasped a hand to her lips, utterly appalled.</p><p>Ingrid nodded, seemingly unconcerned, as if she somehow expected Edelgard’s reaction. “I’ll tell you why. As a child, I was never…feminine. Girls were supposed to sew, and have tea, but when I was with Glenn, Dimitri, and everyone else-” She stared into the distance. “I was one of the boys.”</p><p>Edelgard’s lilac eyes narrowed, as she happily redirected her anger. “I imagine when you…became available…all that changed.”</p><p>The pegasus knight laughed bitterly. “Absolutely. So many invitations, to be leered at like a prize farm animal. I was told at thirteen that my hips...made me good breeding stock.” She sighed. “And for me, it was normal. So normal, that when my father begged me to put on makeup, or tried to give me dancing lessons with a young suitor, it came as a relief.” She began to speak with a comically deep voice. “<em>Ingrid, you are the only one who can make things right. Do not lose sight of what truly matters!”</em></p><p>“So you also felt…that…pressure.”</p><p>“Yes.” Ingrid turned, green eyes intently focused on her house leader. “That anger. I understand it all too well. Why do you think I spend most of my time hitting things with my spear?” Edelgard let out an amused snort, and for a moment, the tension broke, as the two women laughed quietly.</p><p>“You would have hated me,” laughed Edelgard, her voice no longer harsh, body no longer a raw nerve. “I was rather…feminine. I loved tea parties, stuffed animals, but I put all that aside.” She clenched her fist. “I became hard. Pushed everyone away. I still do…”</p><p>Ingrid smiled. “I think I understand. I’ve never really...let myself have female friends. Even though I wanted to, just like wearing makeup, it felt like a betrayal of the girl Glenn knew…does that make sense?” After Edelgard nodded, Ingrid sighed and continued. “That’s why our friendship...Well, that’s why it means so much to me.”</p><p>For months, the princess had prepared, quietly anticipating her classmates would leave her. In her room, there was a drawer of letters to each of her…friends, explaining and apologizing for her actions. She knew, deep in her heart, she could never deliver them, but she still wrote. Desperately arguing against a universe that had already taken so much.</p><p>But in that moment, Edelgard fully realized what she would lose. So much of her concern had been focused on what Byleth would do, and what it would mean to lose that connection. But Edelgard would lose her <em>friends</em>. Dorothea would never tease her, Ferdinand would no longer challenge her to some silly duel, Caspar would not pester her for some inane reason…</p><p>And Ingrid…what would Ingrid do? She was her closest-</p><p>The Flame Emperor’s hand fell over her face, until she felt Ingrid’s hand on her shoulder.</p><p>“Please, are you all right? Is it because of the...” she looked around, “…the Professor?”</p><p>“In a way,” muttered the princess. “It’s just…I’m going to ask her…an important question tonight, not even the one I really want to ask but I… I’ve never…” She faltered, nervously massaging her white gloves, before looking up. “I’ve never even been kissed.”</p><p>Ingrid’s eyes went wide. “<em>You</em>?! But you’re so…how could you…”</p><p>“It’s the truth. For so long, my life just…didn’t allow it, and now-” Edelgard gave a bitter smile. “I’m so nervous, and I should be able to talk to my-”</p><p>She paused for a moment, staring into Ingrid’s green eyes. She felt her chest rise and fall, over and over. So often, when Edelgard had trusted…that trust had been betrayed. But the girl made a decision. She would have faith.</p><p>“My sisters are dead, Ingrid.” The words spilled out of the Flame Emperor. “I should be able to talk to them, and tell them how excited I am, but then I think about how they’re dead and how can I possibly be happy when they’re-” She paused. “Professor Byleth deserves better than me. You all do. I’m not…”</p><p>“Stop that right now!” Ingrid shook Edelgard fiercely. “Stop pitying yourself! Look at our class! We all care for you!” She stood. “Do you think I’d have stayed? Fought against Dimitri and Felix at Gronder if you were as bad as you say? We’re here for you! <em>I’m </em>here for you! Understand?”</p><p>The princess shook her head slowly. Ingrid’s face was filled with self-satisfaction, before she began to blush, consumed with embarrassment at her outburst. “Good.” She nodded awkwardly. “I’m…glad we had this talk.” She walked toward the entrance to the garden, before turning around. “And Edelgard?”</p><p>The princess slowly lifted her head.</p><p>A beaming smile lit up the pegasus knight’s face. “Professor Byleth will say yes. I know it.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The sun had begun to set, and rays shone through the windows of the Black Eagle classroom. Edelgard looked around. Before this year…she had never imagined…this. She had resolved to make the world her enemy, even the gods themselves…but this year, this reprieve at Garreg Mach…it was gift she would treasure as long as she lived.</p><p>As she looked at the benches, littered with the personal effects of her classmates, she felt Hubert’s hand on her shoulder. She turned, shaken from her wistful reflections.</p><p>“Lady Edelgard,” Hubert sighed, his voice lowered to a whisper. “Please forgive me, but I was unable to…complete my task.” He shook his head. “I just don’t understand…”</p><p>The Flame Emperor was not angry. In some strange way, she had almost expected this. “Hubert. Tell me what happened. Every detail, no matter how embarrassing.” She gave him a sincere smile. “You know I will always trust in you, no matter what.”</p><p>Hubert was at a loss, as shaken as the princess had ever seen him. He pulled her into the corner. “I have a razor. I was planning to…” He gave his liege a significant look. “At the training yard. But then, it was just…gone.”</p><p>“Gone.” Edelgard put a hand to her chin. Hubert had <em>never </em>failed a task before. “How do you think that happened?”</p><p>The dark mage sighed, full of frustration, and the smallest trace of fear. “That is why I am…concerned. I was carrying the weapon in my hand, and somehow I must have dropped it. I-“ His brow furrowed in frustration.</p><p>The princess raised her hand. “I understand. Hubert. I do not blame you. I think there is something else going on here.” When Hubert gave her a skeptical look, she shook her head. “I do not believe Monica is our biggest problem.”</p><p>Hubert looked around, as the rest of the Black Eagles began to file in. “What do you-“ he whispered fiercely.</p><p>“I need you to trust me.” Edelgard clasped him on the shoulder. “Please.”</p><p>Hubert only bowed in response, and made his way over to Bernadetta, who excitedly affixed a flower to the lapel of his academy uniform. As the final stragglers, Linhardt and Lysithea, made their way into the classroom, Byleth stood in front of the Black Eagles.</p><p>Byleth, unsurprisingly, was simply wearing her everyday outfit. The Sword of the Creator even dangled dangerously from her hip, occasionally pulsing with an eerie red light. She did not look like she was going to a ball-the mercenary, by all appearances, was going to a war.</p><p>And yet, her eyes shone, beautiful and blue. Filled with concern and care for her students. They revealed the real Byleth. The one the Black Eagles had come to love and respect, to treasure and trust, over the school year. To the Black Eagles, she was not the Ashen Demon, that fearful, merciless killer-she was just…Byleth. Kind, sweet, gentle Byleth. The heart of their little family.</p><p>They all loved her, in the strange way that wonderful word can describe hundreds of different experiences and relationships. It was like a sunrise-each bond was different, personal and unique, belonging only to Byleth and that Eagle. And yet…when each student’s face lit up at the sound of her name, they all knew just how precious a gift their professor was.</p><p>She smiled, guileless and trusting. “Tonight is…special for me. This may surprise you all, but I have never been to a dance before.” Silence fell over the classroom for a moment, as Caspar coughed. “That was a joke,” said Byleth, massaging her shoulder. “Sorry. I’m still trying to…never mind.”</p><p>“That isn’t what I wanted to say, though.” She paced back and forth, hands beginning to run through her dark blue hair. Edelgard knew it meant her teacher was nervous. Finally, Byleth stopped, and turned toward her Eagles. “The first time I killed someone, I was eleven.” She rested her thumb on her lip, lost in thought, as the Eagles struggled to comprehend what they had just heard.</p><p>“Most of my childhood is a blur. All I can remember is…stabbing that man with my sword.” She frowned, as if trying to understand a difficult problem proposed by a student. “The look on his face, the feeling of blood. I didn’t understand any of it. What the difference between him being…alive or dead even was…”</p><p>Dorothea, ever empathetic, walked forward and placed her hand on Byleth’s shoulder. The mercenary gave her student a grateful smile.</p><p>“I killed and killed and killed….so many people. And I can’t even remember it.” Byleth shook her head. “I’m not normal…Something is <em>wrong </em>with me.” The Ashen Demon raised her hand, cutting off the cacophony of protests from her students. Emotion seemed to break through her stoic façade, as she placed her hand over her heart.</p><p>“You’re a great teacher, Professor!” called Caspar, with his typical charming innocence. “If anyone says you’re weird…I’ll punch ‘em in the nose!”</p><p>Petra nodded. “Are we going to be having the words with someone? I will not be allowing anyone to talk like that about you!”</p><p>Byleth smiled and shook her head. “You don’t understand. No one’s…said anything about me at all. No one has called me the Ashen Demon for months.” She released a deep breath, as if the weight of the world had left her shoulders. “I thought all I was good for…all I could do…was kill. I didn’t understand what it meant to have a friend. I was so alone, I didn’t even know how lonely I was.”</p><p>“But it was our pleasure, Professor!” Ferdinand posed dramatically. “You have guided us all with a skill and panache that I could not-“</p><p>“What Ferdinand is trying to say…” grumbled Hubert. “Is that as <em>unorthodox</em> as you may be….Your guidance is deeply appreciated. By all of us.”</p><p>“I understand.” Byleth nodded serenely, leaning on her desk. “I know that you are all my students…but thank you all-“ She paused and looked away. For a brief moment, Byleth’s eyes seemed to glisten, before her stoic expression returned. “I never thought I’d have…this.”</p><p>Something inside Edelgard shattered. There was so much weight on her shoulders, so much guilt and shame for what she had done, and what she would yet do. The Flame Emperor had prepared to destroy the Church of Serios, upend the social order, bloody her hands-But this was too much to bear. To destroy these bonds…the smiles on her friends’ faces…How could she dare to stand among them?</p><p>Before Edelgard even realize what she was doing, she had stepped forward. “I have a proposition. Let’s all agree to meet back at the monastery, exactly five years from today.” She tried to ignore the shocked look in Hubert’s eyes, and instead focus on the joy in Byleth’s.</p><p>Caspar ran up to his house leader, slapping her on the back excitedly. “A class reunion? Great idea, Edelgard!”</p><p>Sylvain placed his hands behind his head, which the Eagles all knew was a prelude to a joke. “Will this just be an Adrestian thing, or will us Leicester and Faerghus folks get an invite?”</p><p>Lysithea crossed her arms, trying to hide the obvious pleasure on her face. “I’ll be here. <em>No matter what.” </em>Her final words were aimed at Edelgard, as she ran a hand through her white hair.</p><p>Flayn nodded. “I would never miss such a wonderful event!” She hung her head “…If my brother will allow it…”</p><p>“M-me too!’ said Marianne, seeming to settle some internal conflict. “I…I’m going to be here. I promise”</p><p>Edelgard realized that her words were just that…only words. Would there even be a Garreg Mach to return to? It was another silly, futile dream, a selfish girl refusing to allow time’s sand to slip through her fingers. And yet…when she looked at her teacher, Edelgard did something she had resolved to never do again-she believed.</p><p>“Who knows where each of us will be in five years’ time…or who we will become.” For a moment, she saw the Emperor that had appeared her visions. A sad wretch, fighting a hopeless battle. A woman consumed by loneliness and ambition, who had shed whatever remained of her morals and humanity.</p><p>She turned to Byleth, lilac pleading with blue. “Still, I have faith that all of us will gather and celebrate our reunion.”</p><p>Linhardt scoffed, ever logical. “You’re assuming the Professor will even be here in five years, Edelgard. Why would-OW!”</p><p>Lysithea had ground the heel of her shoe into the healer’s foot. “<em>Shut up</em>, <em>Linhardt!’ </em> The young mage hissed, eyes darting to Edelgard apologetically. “I’m sure the Professor will be here! We all will!”</p><p>Edelgard nodded, given strength by Lysithea’s belief. She began to wring her hands together. “Perhaps Professor Byleth will be…somewhere else.” She looked at Byleth hopefully. “But…you will still come, won’t you? Even if-”</p><p>Byleth walked forward, and grabbed Edelgard’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly. “<em>Nothing</em> will stop me, Edelgard. I give you my word.”</p><p>The princess reached her hand up, and grabbed her teacher’s wrist. “Don’t forget. Even if the Millennium Festival….” She shook her head, desperately attempting to will a better future into existence. A world where she would not be alone. “I’ll be waiting.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The dance was just as Edelgard expected and remembered. Boring and stuffy, with numerous minor nobles attempting to curry favor with the future Emperor. Hubert had attempted to intimidate many of the more…persistent suitors, but the princess had been forced into more small talk and meaningless dances than she could bear.</p><p>How could nobles say so much, and yet, so little? Still…Edelgard looked around the Great Hall. The light from the chandeliers shimmered and sparkled, as faint lights passed through colored glass. There was so much contentment, so much joy…the princess breathed deeply, as if her breath could somehow stop time’s cruel march.</p><p>Marianne and Ferdinand were arm-in-arm, happily conversing with Claude and Hilda. Both Claude and Hilda were taking great joy in teasing a flustered and embarrassed Ferdinand, while Marianne’s face shown with pride. It was clear that she valued and appreciated Hilda’s approval of Ferdinand above everything else.</p><p>Dorothea had spent the evening in a whirlwind of dancing and flirting, but now stood in the corner, quietly talking with Petra. Their hands were joined, and Edelgard could only smile at the obvious affection. Every so often, Dorothea would stop and stare at Petra, as she had unearthed a precious treasure. After a few moments, she would laugh, her rich, melodious voice audible even over the clamor.</p><p>Caspar and Sylvain were sitting quietly in the corner. After joining the Eagles, the Faerghus noble had taken the second son of Count Bergliez under his wing. Over the past few months, they had become inseparable. Ingrid and Shamir were nearby, quietly discussing Shamir’s past exploits, while glaring at any nobles brave enough to approach.</p><p>Edelgard had seen Hubert and Bernadetta leave a while ago…she guessed they were likely in the greenhouse, a space more conducive to both of their temperaments. Still…she did not remember ever seeing either of them that…relaxed.</p><p>That left…”Edelgard…have you seen Linhardt?” Lysithea’s voice was full of irritation, but underneath…Edelgard could only smile, recognizing herself in the young mage all too well. “If he and Professor Hanneman snuck off to talk about Crests again, after I-” She shook her head. “It’s ridiculous.”</p><p>Lysithea was wearing a red long sleeved dress, and Dorothea had clearly succeeded in getting her to put on a bit of makeup. Edelgard smiled. “You look lovely tonight. Very mature.” She frowned, and instinctively began to brush a strand of hair out of her classmate’s eyes. “Is your hair not staying up? Do you want me to-“</p><p>“Edelgard.” Lysithea frowned. “I am fine.” For a moment, she rocked back and forth, caught between enjoying the attention and the need to maintain her independence. Finally, her adoration of Edelgard won out. “Thank you,” she whispered quietly. “for doing my hair and for the oil for-”</p><p>“Do not mention it,” dismissed Edelgard. “If you ever need anything, you come to me. Understand?” As Lysithea nodded, the princess patted her on the head. “Good girl.”</p><p>The young mage feigned annoyance, before her attention was drawn to something across the room. She pointed. “What do you think they’re talking about?”</p><p>Edelgard followed Lysithea’s finger, and felt her heart sink. Rhea and Flayn were sitting with Byleth, discussing something intently. Every so often, the Archbishop would reach over and gently caress Byleth’s shoulder. Edelgard watched, with a mixture of horror and hatred, as the Immaculate One flirted-<em>flirted!-</em>with Byleth.</p><p>“I don’t trust her.” Lysithea muttered darkly. “The way she looks at Professor Byleth…it’s not-Edelgard, are you all right?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor gritted her teeth. “I am fine. Nothing to concern yourself with.”</p><p>“That’s good,” said Lysithea in a matter-of-fact voice. “Because the Professor is calling you over, right now.” She gripped Edelgard’s hand tightly. “I’m coming with you.”</p><p>Edelgard could not find it within herself to argue further, and in her heart, she was more thankful for the companionship than Lysithea could ever guess. They pushed their way through the dance floor, only to be stopped as a strong hand grabbed Edelgard’s shoulder. The princess jumped, whirling around and startling Prince Dimitri.<br/>
<br/>
“Edelgard…” He began with a deep bow. “Would you do me the honor of-“</p><p>“Perhaps later, Dimitri,” muttered the princess, emotions already in tatters.</p><p>All she could think was of the lies and poison that the Archbishop was filling Byleth’s head with. False promises of divine favor, and celestial blessings from a silent Goddess. She did not have time for Dimitri’s odd obsession. The stunned prince was left standing in the middle of the dance floor, an expression of total defeat on his face.</p><p>“Edelgard!” Byleth turned excitedly, as the two Eagles joined her. “The Archbishop just…asked me something wonderful!”</p><p>“Oh?” said the Flame Emperor, giving the Archbishop a respectful bow. “And what <em>wonderful</em> news could that be?” Rhea and Lysithea both recognized the sarcasm, while Byleth and Flayn took it to be genuine. The Immaculate One’s angelic face darkened.</p><p>“I believe that Professor Byleth has great…spiritual potential.” Rhea clasped her hands together, a sickly-sweet smile on her face. “I think she holds a much greater destiny than to be just an professor. I want to personally…” She smirked at Edelgard, “…<em>Tutor</em> her in preparation for such an important role. I believe she holds within her the key to a new dawn for Fodlan.”</p><p>“Isn’t that amazing!” Byleth nodded her head excitedly. “All those times I’ve told you…I’ve been wondering what my purpose is…and Rhea says-”</p><p>Edelgard stuck her hand out, her voice ice-cold. “I congratulate the both of you. I’m sure this will only be to the benefit the Church of Seiros.” The Flame Emperor could not contain her scowl. “As I ascend to the throne, let us work together to make better world, <em>for all humanity</em>.” The princess’ eyes never left Rhea’s green orbs.</p><p>“Of course,” Rhea nodded, an inscrutable expression on her face. “I am confident the Goddess’ light will soon shine over us all.”</p><p>“Well, who am I to stand in the way of the Goddess’ will?" Edelgard gave a deep bow. “Professor, Archbishop…Have a wonderful evening.”</p><p>She turned and stomped away, not even allowing Lysithea to catch up to her.</p><p>The Flame Emperor’s legs carried her out of the Great Hall, past giggling students, whispering frivolous promises of devotion in each other’s ears. Edelgard wanted to vomit at the sight. She knew it had been stupid. She had allowed herself to become attached. Vulnerable. What had she learned, so long ago? Relationships were a weakness. Loving someone only meant it would hurt more when Edelgard lost them.</p><p>The ball had been a reminder. A cold bucket of water, rousing Edelgard from a peaceful slumber. Byleth was the daughter of a <em>Knight of Seiros</em>! She was never going to side against the Archbishop. It was almost comical. All that monster had to do was wear a funny hat, and spout some meaningless platitudes about mercy…</p><p>The Goddess Tower was empty, and right now, Edelgard wanted nothing more than to be alone, with her petulance and grief. She glared at the guard who attempted to stop her, daring him to challenge her, but he shrank from the sight. Black-heeled boots climbed the steps, until Edelgard was staring out at a beautiful vista, overlooking Garreg Mach.</p><p>Below her, there were so many lights cutting through the darkness. So many of the figures were paired, enjoying that precious feeling that all humans should experience-that they were beautiful, valuable-worthy of being loved. Edelgard leaned against the railing, desperately searching for a steadying anchor.</p><p>There is an awful desolation in the human heart, when it hopes for something so terribly, so desperately…a dream that consumes every moment of its existence…and still does not receive it. There was so much Edelgard was willing to give to Fódlan. Her happiness…her reputation…even her very life itself. If she knew it would guarantee freedom for the people, she would have thrown herself from the Goddess Tower without a moment’s hesitation.</p><p>But as much as Edelgard refused to admit it, there was profound, burning longing deep within her. As a child…she had dreamed of a passionate romance, a love story that would resonate throughout the ages. She had imagined herself, clad in a beautiful bridal gown, as her family watched. All that was gone now, but perhaps that was why her feet had carried her to the Goddess Tower…after all, it was were her father and mother had…</p><p>As badly as the Flame Emperor wanted to free Fódlan, El wanted to love, and be loved. To write sentimental poetry about the object of her affection. To share the hundreds of private jokes and secrets that spring like buds from love’s stem. To have someone…hold her, and tell her that she mattered. Not the Flame Emperor. Not Emperor Hresvelg. But El.</p><p>The girl no longer prayed, but that night, in the Goddess Tower, she could not help wishing that love would find her. That the tender thoughts that only seemed to grow, day by day, would bear fruit. The heartless, cruel Flame Emperor begged the universe for a sign…that she would not always be alone.</p><p>“I was looking for you.”</p><p>Edelgard turned, and Byleth was there, nervously rocking back and forth. She crept her way forward, stopping next her student. Her blue eyes looked down at the shimmering lights below. For minutes, they simply stood, two outsiders watching a world they could never join.</p><p>The Flame Emperor felt a terrible anxiety well within her...but she had to ask. Had to know. “I…I must apologize to you, my teacher. My reaction tonight…I must admit I’ve been waiting too long to ask you something. I suppose you can blame it on my sentimentality.”</p><p>Byleth turned, and placed her hands behind her back. She quietly nodded, and waited for Edelgard to continue.</p><p>“You see, my parents met here. In this very tower.” Edelgard looked around, as if Anselma and Ionius would appear at any moment. “My mother was a student, and…well, my father told me it was love at first sight…and then they had me.”</p><p>“That’s a lovely story, Edelgard.” Byleth smiled innocently. “It must make you so happy to be back here.”</p><p>Edelgard could only sigh. “As Emperor, my father was forced to take on many….consorts.” Her expression darkened. “Despite my parent’s love, my mother was reduced to one of his many-“ She began to pace, back and forth, as if this motion could force reason and logic back into the world. “Being Adrestia’s leader means…terrible things. Both for the Emperor, and for those they love.”</p><p>Byleth coughed, her gaze remaining locked on the monastery’s spires. “Will you…take consorts?”</p><p>“No!” Edelgard spat the words out. “It’s barbaric! Another result of this world’s obsession with bloodlines and titles and Crests! If I-” She calmed herself, and returned to Byleth’s side. “It will be for love. Nothing else.”</p><p>At Edelgard’s words, a small smile had appeared on Byleth’s face. Once again, silence fell over the Goddess Tower, and the only sound that could be heard was the muted yells from the throng far below.</p><p>“My position is why I haven’t asked you this yet…why I waited…” She placed a hand on her hip, bluffing confidence. “The Emperor’s duty is to stand alone. To guide the people, but never be ...among them.” The princess grasped Byleth’s hand. “But this past year...being around you. It’s made me rethink all that.”</p><p>Byleth’s head tilted in confusion. Despite the emotion of the moment, it could not help but force a giggle out of the princess. The mercenary’s eyebrows rose. “What are you asking me, Edelgard?”</p><p>“When we first met that night in Remire. I tried to enlist you in the service of the Empire.” The princess steeled her gaze. “I no longer wish for that.”</p><p>There was a look of shock and bewilderment in her teacher’s expression. “Why? What have I-“</p><p>The princess waved her hand. “I just want…you. To stay with me, guiding me during my reign.” She looked down at the peaceful scene below her. “These quiet days will not last forever, my teacher. When they- we will all have to choose what we fight for. What we believe.”</p><p>Byleth’s eyes fell upon the Sword of the Creator, but she remained silent.</p><p>“I know you have an offer from the Church…and that it offers you a meaning and purpose you have been searching for so desperately…” Edelgard shook her head, trying to hide her distaste. “You don't have to decide tonight. But please, know that I will always-“ She grabbed Byleth’s hand. “Whatever my accomplishments and titles, my proudest achievement is being your student and friend.”</p><p>Edelgard turned, and began to walk toward the stairs. “I should probably return…it wouldn’t do to-“</p><p>“Edelgard.” Byleth’s azure eyes sparked with life. “We never got to dance tonight, did we?” She walked forward, and extended her hand.</p><p>“But…there’s no music…or-“</p><p>The mercenary shook her head. “Then we’ll just…make our own. Why do we need anything else?”</p><p>As the Flame Emperor and the Ashen Demon silently twisted and spun around the deserted Goddess Tower, dancing to a song that only existed in their hearts, Edelgard could not help but agree.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It was late. So late that even the most frivolous students had returned to their dormitories. Not even the chirping of birds could be heard. Edelgard leaned against a pillar, waiting for her target to arrive. Her gloved hands rested on her dagger, mind steeling herself for what she must do.</p><p>Finally, the door opened, and Monica peered out, assuredly heading out for a late-night mission. Perhaps to kidnap another unwitting victim for her masters. Monica was cruel, revolting…a vicious killer driven only to please her superiors. She had no morals or goals, beyond senseless carnage.</p><p>“What do <em>you</em> want, Edel?” she sneered savagely.</p><p>Edelgard knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to end this fiend’s existence. That was what every instinct, every vision of her doomed future drove her to do. But Edelgard thought of Byleth…and of opera.</p><p>The princess, for many years, had adored the opera. Tragic tales of figures brought low by their hubris. She remembered one of Dorothea’s greatest performances, as a sorceress who was fated to die the day she fell in love…and had hidden herself away from the world. Of course, in the end, this had led to that fate coming to pass.</p><p>If Edelgard was going to change the future, she needed to do something she would have never considered. As she thought of Byleth’s words to her students, the words of a lost child surrounded by violence, the Flame Emperor had found her answer.</p><p>It was a tremendous and terrifying gamble-but what other choice did she have?</p><p>Edelgard marched into Monica’s dormitory, and placed her dagger on the table. She was completely defenseless. There was a look of total bewilderment on the face of her hated enemy.</p><p>“Monica…no, Kronya.” The Flame Emperor spoke, slowly and calmly. “I have a proposition for you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-This chapter was tremendously fun to write, just smooshing together so many of the plot threads into a big ball of angst and romance. </p><p>-On the list of "why didn't this support happen?" Caspar and Sylvain has to be near the top of the list.</p><p>-Among the many great guesses in the last comment session, I don't think anybody had an Edelgard/Kronya talk in the betting pool.</p><p>-I'd like to say thanks again, for the outpouring of comments and support for this fic-I’m so grateful.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Time Betrays</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>You </em>want to talk to <em>me,</em> Edel?” Kronya paced around the room, unable to grasp Edelgard’s request. She was a caged animal, eyes wild and frantic, shoulders turned and ready to strike at any moment. The monster’s hands continued to twitch as she looked down at the dagger on her hip. “The last time we talked you touched me…”</p><p>For a moment, Kronya’s hands massaged her neck, while Edelgard simply sat in her chair, and waited. In an instant, the assassin’s dagger appeared. The motion was so quick, even the Flame Emperor’s trained eyes could not comprehend it. Edelgard calmly stared forward, ignoring the weapon that now threatened to slit her throat.</p><p>“I know what knives can do. They don’t frighten me anymore.”</p><p>After a moment, Kronya pulled back the dagger with an annoyed hiss, and retreated back to the wall of her dormitory. She began to toss the weapon carelessly, clumsily attempting to intimidate her rival.</p><p>“Well?” muttered the girl, voice seething with a quiet fury. “Talk. Before I get bored, and decide to use you as a whetstone.”</p><p>Edelgard stood, arms placed behind her back. <em>How had it come to this? </em>“You know, Kronya…for a long time, I couldn’t understand something.” She rested her arms on the table, and leaned forward. “Out of all the people I’ve worked with and known…all the selfish nobles and monsters like Solon...you were the person I hated the most.”</p><p>Kronya’s red eyes narrowed. “Were you talking, Edel? Because right now, I’m imagining a bunch of worms, eating you to death.” She put a finger to her lip. “Perhaps I should kill your butler, or whatever the hell he is.” When Edelgard ignored the taunts, the assassin grew visibly frustrated. “Or maybe the stuffy knight, or the little one that’s always tagging-“</p><p>“Quiet.” The Flame Emperor shook her head. “I only fully realized it tonight.” She stood and began to slowly walk toward the fiend. “As much as I’d like to pretend otherwise…as much as I hate to admit it to myself...” She was standing eye-to-eye with her tormentor, lilac eyes hardened into something dreadful and appalling. “We aren't that different, are we?”</p><p>For a moment, Kronya stared at Edelgard, failing to comprehend what she had just heard. Then she began to laugh, a cold, harsh sound without warmth or heat. “You’d dare to compare yourself to me? I’m an Agarthian, and you’re a pathetic little worm…a tool that thinks it-“</p><p>“And what are you, Kronya?” Edelgard’s voice remained calm and steady. “You told me yourself. Thales put you in a room, and made you kill to survive.” The Flame Emperor leaned forward. “The only reason I was allowed to live-the only reason I wasn’t slaughtered along with my brothers and sisters-was because Thales and Duke Aegir want to use me. Just like they’re using you. Right now.”</p><p>The words struck home. Kronya pushed Edelgard aside, eyes darting for an escape that did not exist. “I…I’m important! Thales said he’d...that he’d save me if I got in trouble. That was the deal! I killed, and he…he…”</p><p>“Have you ever asked yourself a simple question, Kronya?” Edelgard followed the Agarthian relentlessly, voice icy, not allowing the girl a moment to recover. “Why are you at Garreg Mach, right now?”</p><p>“Because…because I’m supposed to…” She looked around fruitlessly, before her face lit back up with a sadistic smile. “Kill people for Thales! Like, the Archbishop, or you! And none of your stupid reasons is going to keep me from-“</p><p>“And when you kill me or the Archbishop, what do you think will happen?’</p><p>“I’ll be the Agarthian who brought back the light! I’ll be able to stay up here…where it isn’t dark-“ Kronya paused, as Edelgard was laughing. A cruel, awful laugh, forged from years of hatred and malice. “DON’T LAUGH AT ME!” screamed the Agarthian. She was completely flustered, unaccustomed to being put on the defensive.</p><p>“You’re going to suffer the same fate as any weapon that’s outlived its purpose.” Edelgard snarled. “Just like when I ascend to the throne, they plan to use me to make more Crests for Aegir’s line, all before they put poison in my tea one afternoon.” She crept forward, forcing Kronya to back into the wall. She could see the terror in the Agarthian’s eyes. “You <em>will</em> die, and Thales will move on, never thinking of you at all.”</p><p>“I...I…” Kronya looked everywhere, except at the Flame Emperor. “So why are you telling me this? Do you really think I’d listen to you? Betray my people for a worthless maggot-“</p><p>“No.” Edelgard shook her head, a grim smile on her face. “I want to give you something. A simple transaction, offering a gift no one else has.” She extended a glove hand toward the window, where the moonlight shone through frosted glass. “The sun. I am prepared-“</p><p>“Shut up!” Kronya raised her hands to her head, eyes closed, fighting a terrible battle. She rushed to the table and sat for a moment. Edelgard opened her mouth to speak, but the assassin hushed her with a glance. In an instant, she had pulled out her dagger, and buried the long, vicious blade into her own arm.</p><p>Edelgard had been prepared for many things when she entered this room, but the sight of her enemy seemingly immolating herself was not one of them. Kronya’s face betrayed no pain, only a look of deep concentration. The girl removed the dagger, before reaching into the wound, and pulling out a strange black stone. Kronya looked at it for a moment, before crushing it with her own hands.</p><p>“They can’t know we’re talking this long. It’s how they…keep track of me. I got pretty good at removing them.” Kronya sighed. “If they think I’m compromised, they send someone in, or-“ She shook her head and made a cutting motion with her dagger. For a moment, she murmured to herself. “Myson showed up earlier today, right after I left the training yard…”</p><p>While Kronya was reflecting, Edelgard’s gaze had fallen on a patchwork of scars and discolorations on “Monica’s” skin. Kronya followed Edelgard’s eyes, and lifted her nose, filled with pride. “I sat through more surgeries and procedures than anyone else. My loyalty is-“</p><p>“Worthless.” Edelgard leaned forward on the table, looming over the seated Agarthian. “That is why I despised you. I saw myself…a girl, twisted and mutilated by forces she could not control. And yet you accepted it. Embraced it.” She turned and walked away, looking out the window. “I wanted to believe that there was something stronger in me, some special reason I fought…I was wrong.“ She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have choked you the other day, Kronya.”</p><p>“Don’t you <em>dare</em> pity me, you…you worm!” After Kronya’s outburst, a long silence fell over the room. Finally, she spoke, not with the snarling viciousness that so often characterized her speech, but with an odd and unsuitable sincerity. “When I was being…made.” She shook her head. “Thales told me stories about the sun. How it felt to have warmth on your skin…” The girl looked down at her arms. “I dreamed about what it would feel like, and now that I’m up here…” She laughed bitterly. “I’m wearing someone else’s skin. Everything’s still…cold.”</p><p>“I know you’ve been planning something-kidnapping students for...”</p><p>“Solon.” Kronya nodded, before muttering to herself. “He never tells me anything, but I’m supposed to cause chaos.” The wild look reappeared in her eye. “I’m good at that.”</p><p>“I want two things from you.” The Flame Emperor raised her hand. “First, keep me informed of what Thales and Solon are telling you, no matter how small it is.”</p><p>“That’s no problem…” Kronya’s eyes glittered in the darkness. “I actually love talking to you anyway, Edel! You’re the only person who even listens to my plans! Even Thales doesn’t-” For a moment, the monster seemed strangely…lonely.</p><p>It took all of the Flame Emperor’s self-control to keep her jaw from hanging open. “You…but… I threaten you constantly…” Were all Kronya’s jeers about enjoying Edelgard’s company…<em>genuine?</em> She shook her head. “The second is to avoid killing anyone at the monastery...just for a few months.”</p><p>“So what do I tell Thales?” Kronya shuddered. “He’s scary when he gets angry. The last time I failed him, I had to spend five days getting improved...” For a moment, there was a look of sheer terror in those hateful red eyes.</p><p>“Tell him you’re working with me. That we’re planning on infiltrating the Holy Tomb.” Edelgard gave a smirk. “That’s all I want from you. And after I assume the throne…I’ll give you sanctuary. You and anyone else-”</p><p>“Like who?” Kronya’s head tilted in confusion. It reminded Edelgard of Byleth, which repulsed the Flame Emperor beyond words.</p><p>“Don’t you have parents? Or siblings?”</p><p>“What? No.” The Agarthian looked down at her dagger. “I don’t have…parents. After the beasts destroyed our cities, there weren’t enough…” She turned away. “Thales and the other elders grew us…made us from-” She trailed off, and instantly, the hatred reappeared in her eyes. “This is a trick! You’re trying to trick me! Thales warned me that you insects did this…”</p><p>“Kronya…stop.” Edelgard tried to keep her voice calm, and extended her hand.</p><p>The assassin stared at the princess’ arm for an eternity, before tearing her head away. “I’m…I’m loyal! You’re not going to fool me!” In an instant, a noxious black smoke filled the room, and the killer was gone. As Hubert burst into the room, Edelgard stared at the crushed remnants of the stone from Kronya’s arm.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I still think it was a terrible risk…” Hubert and Edelgard had sat down for a brief lunch the next day. Hubert nibbled at a sandwich, while tutting quietly about his liege’s refusal to eat. “That girl is an animal, and I would-”</p><p>“Hubert.” Edelgard gave an exasperated sigh. “Did you really think that I expected her to say yes?” A stern expression came over the Flame Emperor’s face. “All I wanted to do was scare her. Now we know that Solon is planning...something…” <em>And we can protect Jeralt.</em></p><p>“Do you believe Myson had anything to do with my razor…disappearing?” Hubert put a hand to his chin.</p><p>“It’s possible,” sighed the princess, as she looked out the window. “It was just a talk. Nothing more will come of it, I’m sure.”</p><p>“Lady Edelgard,” Hubert placed his food down, and leaned toward the princess. “That may have been your intention, but I saw the look in your eyes last night. That conversation impacted you greatly. What did she say?”</p><p>Edelgard sighed, and began to rub her hands. “It…it isn’t just what she said…she...” She put down her teacup. “That girl has been raised as a fanatic, devoted to sacrificing her life to what she sees as freedom. Not caring whether she lives or dies. It’s her religion.” Edelgard sighed. “Is there any difference between the two of us…really?”</p><p>Hubert raised his hand, ready to object, when a knock came at the door.</p><p>“Come in,” said Hubert calmly, allowing himself a small smile when Byleth and Jeralt came through the door.</p><p>“We need you kids. Right now.” Jeralt’s face was stern and commanding. “Somebody’s broken into the chapels on the monastery grounds. Have the Eagles ready in thirty minutes.”</p><p>Edelgard felt her impromptu plan spin out of control. If her words had caused Kronya to panic… “Captain Jeralt, perhaps it would be better if you remained-‘</p><p>Jeralt gave a harsh, howling laugh. “Are you trying to tell me to hang back, Princess? It’s my job.” He clasped a hand on her shoulder. “By says you’re the tough one…you’re not going soft on us, are you?”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head, desperate to cover the anxiety that now consumed her. “No. We will proceed as planned. But perhaps the other houses may be of use? Dimitri and Claude are both skilled fighters.”</p><p>Byleth turned to her father, showing an unfamiliar deference. “I don’t like putting more students in danger…” She ran calloused fingers through her hair.</p><p>“It’s your call, By.” Jeralt nodded. “You’re the teacher, and you’ve become a damn good one. It isn’t my place to tell you those things anymore.” He smiled at the princess. “I think she’s right, though. The Faerghus prince alone…”</p><p>Byleth nodded, clearly pleased with her father’s praise. “Fair enough. I’ll let Dimitri and Claude know. Get the rest of the Eagles ready, and meet me at the front gates.” Edelgard and Hubert nodded, and ran down the dormitory steps. As soon as they were out of earshot, she leaned over to Hubert.</p><p>“If possible, stay with Jeralt. Guard him as you would me.” She sighed, trying to forget the scars and mutilation she saw on Kronya’s arm. “And Hubert…” Her retainer turned, silently awaiting her orders. “…If you have the opportunity to kill Kronya…take it.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Hilda stood by the front gate, pouting as only she could. “I’m helping the Black Eagles…on a weekend…” She examined her nails with displeasure. “This is <em>way </em>too much work, Claude!”</p><p>“Oh hush.” The Deer house leader chuckled and wrapped his arm around Hilda. “You never can say no to me, can you? Not when I give you one of these?” He flashed her an unbearable cheesy grin, and laughed as Hilda began to blush furiously.</p><p>“Claude. This is not the time.” Dimitri’s voice was harsh, with no trace of the kindness and vulnerability he had exhibited at the ball. His eyes were bloodshot, and along with the bags underneath, were an unsightly blemish on his pale skin. “Thank you for including the Blue Lions, Edelgard…” Dimitri’s face lit up with a sadistic smile. “I look forward to showing these intruders the justice of Faerghus.” Behind the prince, Dedue stood silently, eyes heavy with concern.</p><p>“<em>Ohhkay-</em>“ Claude tried to fill the silence left by Dimitri’s pronouncement. “You sure you’re doing all right, Dimitri?” For Claude to use Dimitri’s full name…Claude and Dimitri had a friendly rivalry, but even the normally dispassionate archer was clearly concerned. It had become harder and harder to ignore the prince’s odd behavior.</p><p>However, a horrific, unearthly roar, far in the distance, curtailed any further discussion. Byleth burst through the main doors, and rushed toward the assembled classes. “We must leave now. More students have been taken. Down by the old chapels…and Demonic Beasts have appeared.”</p><p>“<em>How</em>.” Dimitri’s voice had become a low, guttural snarl. “How did they sneak in? How dare they defile-“</p><p>“There’s no time to discuss that now.” Edelgard stepped forward. “We must focus on saving who we can.”</p><p>“Princess is right.” Claude nodded in agreement. “Let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The sky was grey and overcast, as looming storm clouds hung over the students of Garreg Mach. The three house leaders walked next to Byleth and Jeralt, alongside their retainers. Dimitri’s head twitched and spasmed, causing him to occasionally grasp his forehead. Claude betrayed no outward sign of anxiety, instead whistling to annoy Hilda. Underneath the calm demeanor, his green eyes probed and darted around the abandoned chapels.</p><p>Edelgard was not adept at reading others-in truth, she barely understood herself. But she recognized broken. She saw it in her mirror every day. And whether it was the convulsions of the Boar Prince, or the quiet wariness of the outsider, she could tell something was very wrong. She only hoped that her impulsive suggestion to include the other houses would not lead to disaster.</p><p>Suddenly, a crashing sound erupted in the distance, of stone falling against stone. It was deafening, and as the group turned to look, a gigantic creature, all scales and teeth and glowing red eyes, burst through the roof of one of the chapels.</p><p>And the cacophony of noise grew louder. There were tens of little chapels, dotting this abandoned section of the monastery grounds-quiet places that a believer could travel for worship. With a tremendous rumble, each of these buildings collapsed on themselves, as the landscape was filled with monstrous Crest beasts.</p><p>Byleth turned to the assembled students of Garreg Mach. “Everyone stay together! We take them down in group of five or six! No one is to engage alone without-“</p><p>Felix interrupted and shook his head. “Try telling the Boar that, Professor.”</p><p>The group turned to see to see a sprinting Dimitri tearing toward the closest demonic beast. “You are <em>mine</em>!” the Faerghus prince screamed, jumping into the air with tremendous strength. Even Edelgard, who carried the power of two Crests in her veins could not help but be awed.</p><p>His lance drove clear through the beast’s skull, showering the prince in blood. With an awful scream, the monster fell to the earth. The force sent a shockwave of dust and debris toward the assembled students. When the maelstrom cleared, the Boar Prince stood, shoulders heaving with silent rage, his face implacable.</p><p>“Well?” shouted the boy, the blue of his cape now covered in red. Droplets of sweat trickled from his forehead. “Why do you all hesitate? We have a duty to punish these evildoers! Crush all who would-“</p><p>He was interrupted by Annette’s scream. The beast’s corpse had been changing-shrinking and contracting, just as Miklan had done. When it had finished, there was not a monster, or even an Agarthian. It was the corpse of a student. A girl.</p><p>Edelgard put her hand to her mouth in disgust. <em>This </em>was what the Agarthians had done? <em>They were</em> <em>experimenting</em> <em>on children?</em> Just like her siblings had- She tightened the grip on her ax. They would die for this.</p><p>Dimitri turned and saw the damage his lance had inflicted. In a moment, his terrifying rage and anger was replaced by revulsion and bewilderment. “No…” He clasped his hands to the side of his head, and began to shake it violently. “No. No…NO! Killing is wrong! I killed a beast…I’m supposed to protect…Not…” He looked down at his blood-stained gloves in horror.</p><p>Dedue wordlessly placed his hand on the young prince’s shoulder, only for Dimitri to swat it away. Claude turned to Edelgard, Byleth and Jeralt, a cold, dispassionate look in his green eyes. “Anyone have a plan?”</p><p>Jeralt nodded. “I think you do, kid. What’s your play?”</p><p>“These things didn’t just appear…in all my research on Crests-“ There was a moment of panic in Claude’s expression, which he hid with a quick shake of the head. “The point is…somebody got those students here, then they…” his countenance darkened. “…Activated them. There’s a good chance they’re still here.”</p><p>“I agree, Claude.” Edelgard nodded firmly. “We need to find the source of this madness, but what do we do about-” She gestured to the rampaging beasts.</p><p>Claude’s eyes hardened. “Teach and Jeralt are mercenaries…and I think you and I are smart enough to know what we have to do. I don’t like it…but…” He gripped his bow tightly. “I’m not as much of an idealist as people like to think.”</p><p>“It’s not us I’m worried about…” said Byleth, normally flat voice swelling with emotion. “We can’t put this on the students…the guilt would-“</p><p>“The only salvation for them is death.” Dimitri loomed above the group. He looked down at his hands. “It is better for a monster like me to-“</p><p>“With all due respect, Your Majesty, be quiet!” Ingrid stood alongside Felix and Sylvain. She turned to Claude and Edelgard. “You two take the Professor and Jeralt. Find out who’s responsible.” She looked back toward the other students. “We’ll handle it. Trust us.”</p><p>Shamir galloped forward on her horse, Catherine standing alongside. A slight narrowing of her eyes was the only outward sign of her rage. “We’ve got it, Professor. Make the bastards pay.”</p><p>Jeralt began to laugh as he looked at the assembled students. “You kids, I swear...what have you been teaching them, By? Never thought I’d see the day that a bunch of pampered rich kids would put the Knights of Serios to shame.” He turned to Byleth, Claude and Edelgard. “Let’s go.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Byleth’s sword flashed through the air, vicious flails unfurling in a burst of crimson. The teeth buried themselves in the neck of the Demonic Beast, causing the monster to screech in pain. A jet of warm blood began to gush from the side of the creature’s neck.</p><p>“Now!” she screamed, turning back toward Claude and Edelgard. Claude unleashed an arrow with trained precision, burying an acid-tipped barb in the fresh wound. The poison caused the beast to thrash and stumble wildly. Jeralt’s steed darted alongside the monster, attacking vital points and causing the beast to crash to the ground.</p><p>The beast was no longer able to walk, and simply bellowed up at the Flame Emperor. There was no humanity or reason in the creature’s red eyes, but Edelgard still hesitated. By ending these creature’s lives, she would be…killing the students. Innocents who were kidnapped by Kronya. Experimented on by Solon and Myson.</p><p>It was another sin added to Edelgard’s blackened soul. She remembered her oath in the mirror, all those years ago. <em>No one will suffer as the Hresvelgs have</em>…and here was the result. Her stupidity and cowardice had enabled these fiends to destroy more lives. All her ideals were meaningless in the face of this beast-a sign of the depths to which she had sunk.</p><p>The beast roared at Edelgard, and she breathed deeply. Her ax came down.</p><p>Jeralt galloped forward and placed a hand on the princess’ shoulder. He gently turned the princess, so that she would not see the person who lay under the skin of the monster. “You did what had to be done, Princess.” Jeralt said gruffly. “Don’t beat yourself up, and after this, we’ll have a drink in my office. Deal?”</p><p>Despite the emotion of the moment, Edelgard could not help the small smile that formed on her lips. “I…I look forward to it, Jeralt.”</p><p>Jeralt turned, his eyes darkening. “What the hell are you doing?” As the princess followed the knight’s glare, she found Claude kneeling over the body. The future head of the Alliance tried, unsuccessfully, to pocket an item from the corpse. It brought back all of Edelgard’s old fears…that Claude was yet another monster, slithering in the dark.</p><p>Byleth loomed above the archer, hand extended. “Claude…give it to me.”</p><p>The trickster looked in vain for an escape, before letting out a long, loud sigh. “Fine.” He rooted in his pocket, before placing a glowing stone fragment in the Ashen Demon’s palm. “I just…this is a Creststone…I wanted to see if-“</p><p>“And you robbed a body for that?” Jeralt was incensed, arms extended outward. “Come on! That’s a student you just-”</p><p>The archer glared back at Jeralt with quiet defiance. “Do you know how long I’ve been looking for answers? Sometimes, you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette…” He looked back at the corpse. “That isn’t the first body I’ve seen, and I doubt any of you are strangers either…so don’t get sanctimonious with me. Any of you.”</p><p>“Claude, Edelgard.” Byleth’s calm voice cut through the din. “The roof on that chapel hasn’t been destroyed.” A look of understanding appeared on the house leaders’ faces. “I’ll lead, you two stay behind me. Papa…” Jeralt turned, waiting for the instructions. “Make sure no one else comes in.”</p><p>Byleth kicked open the door, ancient wood shattering and cracking. The chapel was dark, with only fragments of light filtering in from dust-stained windows. It was the first time Edelgard had set foot in a church in many years, and she felt her breathing quicken.</p><p><em>You don’t belong here… </em>whispered an evil voice in her mind. <em>The Goddess is disgusted with you. </em>Edelgard tried to dispel her fears with a shake of her head, but the voice was right. Once, places like this were a quiet comfort for the princess…a place of healing and peace. Now, the heretic could only feel the Goddess’ accusing stare. <em>She loved El…not you.</em></p><p>As they moved toward the altar, they heard the sound. A low, pathetic plea. “Help us....Please…”</p><p>In a moment, the three intruders had broken into a sprint. Claude arrived first, and looked behind the altar. His face lit up with a relieved smile. There were ten students, all terrified and tightly bound. Byleth and Claude immediately began to free the students, while Edelgard remained standing, eyes darting around the chapel.</p><p>“I don’t like this…” Claude spoke, suspicions echoing off the walls. “They go through all this trouble, just to leave them unguarded?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded brusquely. “I agree. I’m going to wait outside with Jeralt.” The tangle of guilt and fear and anxiety threatened to overwhelm the princess. She needed air…and for the moment, Jeralt was alone.</p><p>For a brief instant, there seemed to be something close to understanding in Claude’s green eyes, a knowledge that they did not belong, that they were intruders in this holy place. That the Goddess’ protection was not for them.</p><p>As Edelgard hurried down the corridor, her lilac eyes struggled to adjust from the darkness of the chapel. As the daylight created stars in front of the Flame Emperor’s vision, she saw the knight, engaged in conversation with…</p><p>She broke into a sprint, body colliding with Monica’s at full speed. The two students tumbled and crashed, landing face down in the mud. The princess’ gloved hand reached out and forced Monica back to the earth, her other free arm grasping her dagger. She raised it aloft, when she felt a rough hand grab her wrist.</p><p>“What the hell are you doing, Edelgard?” Jeralt’s voice was full of confusion and anger. “She came out of the woods, said that she was running from-“</p><p>“Did you really think you could run? Escape from us?” The awful smell of sulfur filled the clearing, as a mage with chalk-white skin appeared. Edelgard’s eyes narrowed. <em>Myson.</em></p><p>He reminded the princess of nothing more than Duke Aegir. The same corpulence, the same beady eyes that seemed only to devour light greedily. Black voids that served only to demonstrate the emptiness inside.</p><p>His jowls rose and fell as he laughed, head upturned. He turned with a sneer to Kronya. “We cannot allow our grand ambition to be stopped by these…beasts. Don’t you understand?” He raised his arms, and launched an orb of dark energy at his opponents.</p><p>Kronya and Edelgard rolled in opposite directions, dodging the explosion of magical energy. Edelgard whipped a handax at her opponent, burying the weapon in the mage's knee. Myson swore and sneered, before raising his arms. “Fine. I’ll take you down, here and now! For the sake of the new dawn…” He raised his hands, and in a flash of purple, two Agarthians, emaciated and clothed in rags, appeared behind him. “Remember,” he called to them, in a voice filled with authority. “…Your sacrifices will be remembered forever.” He raised his hands, and the two figures began to double over in pain.</p><p>They were shifting, twisting and warping into Demonic Beasts. If the Agarthians appeared strange and different, within moments, there was nothing recognizably human about them at all. Myson began to laugh. “Soon, you all will fall-“</p><p>An arrow flew at lightning speed, whistling past the Agarthian’s head. Claude stood at the entrance to the chapel, a cocky grin on his face. “Aw…was I not invited?” He shrugged his shoulders. “Always being left out…”</p><p>Myson’s face contorted with rage. “You fool! Two giant beasts, and you missed them both! Some archer-“</p><p>“Uh, uh, uh…” The future Duke Riegan wagged his finger. “Honestly…so little imagination.” The forest into which the archer’s arrow had fallen burst into flame, burning the Demonic Beast’s legs and bodies.</p><p>“You’ll die for that!” Myson launched a frenzy of spells in a fit of petulance.</p><p>“Sorry-“ called Claude, full of swagger. “I have a different plan. Show ‘em, Teach.” From behind Claude, Byleth rose with a mighty leap, the Sword of the Creator ripping through the air. Edelgard could feel the warmth emanating from the divine weapon as it flew past her head.</p><p>The beasts were confused and upset, leaving their necks and underbellies vulnerable to the divine weapon’s teeth. One of the monsters collapsed to the earth, while the other staggered. Fear replaced arrogance on Myson’s face.</p><p>With a scowl, he closed his eyes, a meteor of fire materialized from the grey sky, directly above where Byleth was standing. In a flash, Edelgard was on her feet, diving and knocking her teacher out of the way. The princess felt her skin burn and sting, but she only held on to Byleth all the tighter.</p><p>As Edelgard looked up, Myson floated above the fray, and the remaining beast stomped toward the two women. A downpour began to soak the combatants. Kronya had been slowly crawling away toward the underbrush, but the dark mage raised his hand. He spat vehemently at the ground. “You disgust me, girl.” Kronya looked up in fear, and beneath her feet, the ground began to shake. A massive explosion enveloped the red-haired schoolgirl.</p><p>As the dust settled, dark purple spikes had emerged from the ground, holding a figure aloft, body riddled with wounds. Next to the magical spears, Kronya looked up in shock at the individual who had taken the brunt of the attack. He looked down at the stunned girl and gave a faltering smile.</p><p>Byleth’s peaceful blue eyes widened in horror and rage. “NO!” was all she could vocalize, before her words were replaced with a guttural, instinctual scream. She ran towards her father, sprinting and stumbling over the muddy earth.</p><p>Edelgard was familiar with this awful sensation. The strange unreality that comes from watching someone you love die. To know that they will no longer laugh and move and breathe, when a moment before they stood in front of you. That this was goodbye. Forever.</p><p>As Byleth collapsed at her father’s feet, the familiar greyness enveloped the world. Edelgard knew what was coming, and tried to steel herself for the horrible vision that awaited her.</p><p>
  <em>The stone doors to the palace rumbled and shook, as the Church’s army amassed outside. The soldiers next to Edelgard trembled. The Flame Emperor could only look at them with pity. They would die for her. For her ideals and dreams. All the people of Fódlan, who had longed for freedom from the tyranny of the Church….just like her siblings, she had failed them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With a tremendous crash, the gates blew open, and a dust cloud blocked the Flame Emperor’s vision. At the head of the approaching forces, a rider in black armor dragged a corpse behind him, before dumping the Death Knight’s lifeless body in front of the palace fountain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Here’s what we’re going to do to you, traitor!” Sylvain’s face was filled with hatred. As a few of the braver soldiers ran toward him, he cut them down with a swing of his relic weapon, eyes never leaving the Flame Emperor. He grinned as a cohort of soldiers surrounded him. “Take ‘em, Lysithea.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With a deafening explosion, much of the main entrance was obliterated in a burst of purple energy. Edelgard was sent flying backwards, using her ax to steady herself. As the smoke cleared, a familiar white-haired mage floated above the fray. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I TRUSTED YOU!” Lysithea bellowed, her pink eyes full of tears. She battered Edelgard over and over with volleys of black magic, pummeling the Flame Emperor into submission. “HOW COULD YOU WORK WITH THEM?! YOU PROMISED ME! YOU SAID WE WERE FAM-” As Edelgard looked up at the girl she loved like a sister, the young mage’s hand trembled. “I-“ She buried her face in her hands and began to weep bitterly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As Edelgard tried to stumble to her feet, a black mass landed in front of her. She turned the body over, only to see the beaten and bruised corpse of Hubert, chest full of spear and sword wounds. The Flame Emperor could only stare in disbelief, before a javelin crashed through her shoulder. Edelgard knew who it was, wanted to do anything other than look up at the pegasus knight soaring above, but an irresistible force directed her head toward the sky.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“<strong>You</strong>.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ingrid glared in disgust. She swooped down, quicker than even the Flame Emperor could see. Lúin finding its target over and over. Ingrid’s face never wavered, never changed. There was no anger or sadness or feeling at all. There was no Ingrid left, none of the stubborn, awkward girl that had laughed and shared so many meals with her best friend. There was only a knight, in combat with her hated foe. Finally, the mighty Emperor of Adrestia could stand no more, and collapsed to the earth.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aymr had been blasted clear, so Edelgard was forced to use the Sword of Seiros to steady herself. She wanted to say something, but she knew that the time for words had long passed. That there would never be anything but hatred and loathing in the eyes of the people she had once dared to believe were her family.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A beautiful woman in a red dress edged forward, with something resembling pity in her eyes. Edelgard’s vision was blurred, and she reached her hand toward the figure. “Dorothea…You aren’t wearing your hat…” The words came out halting and slurred.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sorry, Edie.” The songstress was clearly near tears. “I…I-“ With a wave of her hands, a Meteor spell crashed into the Flame Emperor, and for a moment, it all went dark. But Edelgard kept fighting, despite the pain and the ache in both her body and her heart. She would not give them the satisfaction of dying quickly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dorothea’s voice was an anchor for the stunned Emperor. “Leave her. Seteth says Professor Byleth needs to fight her-“ Edelgard could barely focus, only able to see the outline of a figure push past Dorothea. There were two colors that Edelgard could dimly perceive-the red of Byleth’s sword…and a bright, unearthly green.</em>
</p><p>Color returned to the world. Edelgard was again on top of Byleth, Myson’s arm raised to deliver a killing blow… The Ashen Demon shoved Edelgard off of her, and sprinted toward her father, only for an explosion to knock her off her feet. Thales had appeared, a vicious sneer on his face. He watched with quiet amusement as Jeralt sacrificed himself again.</p><p>Byleth put her hands to her head and screamed. Edelgard had only a moment to wonder how Thales had sensed the divine pulse before the world turned grey again…</p><p>
  <em>The stone doors to the palace rumbled and shook, as the Church’s army amassed outside. The soldiers next to Edelgard trembled….</em>
</p><p>The cycle continued over and over, Edelgard alternating between watching Jeralt die, and being battered by her classmates. By the third cycle, she stopped trying to defend herself. By the sixth, she stopped counting. She simply allowed herself to be brutalized, watching as the people she loved glared at her with a hatred she knew she deserved.</p><p>Byleth staggered forward, desperate to defend her father, but her body was unable to respond to her iron will. She fell to the ground, crawling on her hands and knees. Myson began to laugh and turned to Thales. “<em>This</em> is the great and terrifying Fell Star?” He deflected a hopeless bow attack from Claude, and gestured at the Divine Beast that lurked behind him. “Feast.”</p><p>As the Divine Beast opened its mouth to devour Claude, a blue figure burst through the trees. With a terrifying roar, he threw his spear into the open mouth of the beast, driving it straight through the monster’s head. As a volcano of blood erupted from the dying creature, Dimitri picked up Jeralt’s lance and stood in front of the group.</p><p>“YOU WANTED A BEAST?!” screamed the prince, with terrifying ferocity. “I’LL SPLIT YOU OPEN…CRUSH YOUR SKULLS!”</p><p>Myson’s eyes filled with panic as he looked around. Kronya had disappeared, Edelgard was crumpled on the ground, and Byleth was cradling Jeralt’s body. He turned to Thales. “I have accomplished our mission. Let us retreat.” Thales nodded with utter indifference, only turning and giving Edelgard a mocking sneer before he vanished in a flash of purple.</p><p>Claude stumbled toward the Adrestian princess and tried to help her to her feet. But all Edelgard could do was stare. Watching as Byleth talked and wept quietly to her dying father. What words were spoken, Edelgard could not know or understand, but as she watched Jeralt’s breathing slowly stop, there was one truth that ran through her tormented mind.</p><p>She had failed. She had tried to beat destiny. But no matter what, even knowing what was coming...Jeralt had still died. She felt that familar ache, that wave of anger and loss that broke through her numb outer shell. She had tried so desperately to protect a person she cared for, but she was still that little girl in the dungeons of Enbarr. She thought of Jeralt, quietly teaching her to fish...and she remembered. Remembered watching as her brother coughed blood all over her hands. Forced to see her sister’s body chewed and mutilated by rats. All her schemes and plots, and she was just as weak…just as useless.</p><p>No, just as before, it was a punishment, a message from the Goddess Herself…</p><p>The Flame Emperor had a destiny, and it ended at the point of her teacher’s blade.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-This has never really been a "canon" retelling, partly because...well, you played that already, and partly because it allowed me the freedom to do things like establish friendships with Edelgard and the recruits, incorporate the Divine Pulse, and other fun stuff with people like Aegir and Bergliez. </p><p>-This change with Kronya has been in the offing since, really...the beginning of the fic? The idea of fate and destiny, along with some other stuff that will come up in a bit, made this something I thought was interesting to explore, and not a decision I arrived at quickly. What's going to happen to the murder clown? You'll see...</p><p>-This is probably my last time I can have Dimitri and Claude fight alongside Edelgard, so I wanted to give them both really cool moments, while also showing their character flaws (Claude's way more jaded than people think!)</p><p>-Big thank you to the writers for creating Myson, who doesn't appear in CF, so I can slot him in where ever I darn well please, with no canon reshuffling needed.</p><p>-Next chapter is all about Jeralt.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. The Cause of Sorrow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just want to give a heads-up that there's some suicidal ideation and abuse in this chapter. I don't want anyone to be blindsided by it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Chapter twenty. Summarize it.”</p><p>Normally, the Black Eagle classroom was full of spirited debate and laughter. It was a small oasis, a place where the tragedies and pain that had impacted so many of the students momentarily disappeared. In a world that seemed so cruel and cold, that had left so many of these children shattered and alone, Byleth Eisner’s classroom gave them something they had never had. A family.</p><p>But today, that warmth had evaporated. After Byleth had returned to Garreg Mach, cradling the body of her father in her arms, she had vanished to her room. The Ashen Demon had not been seen since-not when Seteth and Flayn had pleaded outside the door, nor when Shamir had tersely demanded her friend to emerge. Not on her birthday. Not even on the rainy, miserable day when her own father was laid to rest.</p><p>The Black Eagles had established an impromptu schedule. Petra, who was particularly close to the professor, had began to spend her nights outside her teacher’s dormitory. Every morning, Hubert could be found lurking in the shadows, watching Byleth’s door for any movement. Even Bernadetta had found the courage to leave her room, quietly shaking while her friends Sylvain and Marianne desperately tried to put her at ease.</p><p>There was only one Eagle who had not participated in this vigil. The house leader of the Black Eagles could be found everywhere else around Garreg Mach-surrounded by shattered axes in the training yard, or in the library late at night, searching desperately for a way to make Jeralt’s killer pay.</p><p>As she made a half-hearted attempt to listen to Shamir’s lecture, her eyes began to burn. Her nights were full of restless movement, and horrifying nightmares immediately followed any brief lapses in consciousness. The days were no better-the memories of past grief had mingled with this new tragedy, intruding into every moment, every nook and cranny of Edelgard’s life. Her lilac eyes had become cold and detached, her heart chilled to ice.</p><p>“I can’t take this anymore!”</p><p>Caspar stood and looked around, the pugnacious boy struggling with an enemy he could not punch or kick. His outburst failed to have the reaction he hoped; many of the Eagles simply turned their heads downward in defeat. A few, such as Lysithea and Marianne, grew visibly agitated, their own losses weighing heavily on their minds.</p><p>Shamir closed the book, and glared at Caspar as only the stoic archer could. It communicated her intentions as clearly as any reprimand, and the second son of Count Bergliez began to shuffle awkwardly. He ran a bandaged arm through his messy blue hair.</p><p>“I just mean…we gotta do <em>something</em>, right? Professor Byleth’s counting on us! We-“</p><p>“Bring him back.” Shamir glared at Caspar, as an oppressive silence filled the classroom. “Bring back Captain Jeralt, or stop wasting everyone’s time with nonsense. What are you going to do? Punch Byleth until she feels better?”</p><p>“Well…but…I-“ Caspar looked at Shamir, seemingly failing to comprehend the archer’s words. A flash of understanding appeared in his eyes, and he waved his hands apologetically. “I’m sorry, Shamir, I mean, Professor Shamir…That was really rude. I didn’t think about how you lost somebody important when my father fought Dagda and-” Dorothea, who was seated behind Caspar, shook her head in disbelief.</p><p>“Class dismissed.” Shamir stood and abruptly walked out the door, leaving her teaching materials at the desk.</p><p>Edelgard hurriedly grabbed her notes, quietly avoiding her classmates’ eyes. She had not conversed with any of the Black Eagles since the disastrous mission, and she intended to keep it that way. As she had replayed the visions of her doomed future over and over, seen the hurt and rage that would soon consume her friends, Edelgard had come to a decision. She needed to stop being selfish, stop hurting the people she loved. She had to let them go.</p><p>She pushed past Ferdinand and Linhardt, gaze unfocused. She tried desperately to breathe, as a jumble of memories appeared in her mind. One moment, she was kneeling in that accursed clearing, as Jeralt’s life slowly bled from his body. The next, Agnes was braiding her hair at Enbarr. She was fishing on the riverbank with Jeralt, only to remember the awful sensation of rats gnawing at her own skin.</p><p>Happiness and despair intermingled and merged, poisoning the girl’s history, her very self. Edelgard <em>felt </em>so, so much, and it carved away her insides, leaving her hollow and empty. As she slowly ascended the steps to her dormitory, there was only one way to reestablish control. To drive away that awful pain, to banish it to the fringes of her mind.</p><p>She sat down at her desk, rereading the same treatise on dark magic she had looked at countless times. At Remire, Solon and his men had mentioned a forbidden spell; it was not much to go on, but she knew from experience that wallowing in grief would not help anyone. Hours passed, and Edelgard’s frustration continued to build, until she heard a loud knock at her door.</p><p>“Edelgard!” Lysithea’s voice was shrill, and full of irritation. “Open this door, right now!”</p><p>The princess felt a fresh ache, and tried desperately to remain calm. “I’m rather busy at the moment, Lysithea. Perhaps later.”</p><p>For a few moments, there was silence, and Edelgard turned her attention back to the text. This was good. It would be better for Lysithea to cut ties now, rather than hurt her more when-</p><p>
  <em>*BANG!*</em>
</p><p>With a tremendous crash, the large oaken door to Edelgard’s room flew off its hinges. Ingrid stood next to Lysithea, face severe. Behind her lurked Dorothea, whose beautiful eyes were wide with shock.</p><p>The pegasus knight stomped forward, and grabbed the princess’ arm. There was a strange mixture of emotions, rage and sympathy and hurt all intermingled. The Flame Emperor could not stand it.</p><p>“<strong>Get. Up</strong>.”</p><p>Edelgard followed the Faerghus noble’s command and pushed away from the unexpected contact. She turned her back to her friends, and stared out the window. “Hmmm…” she muttered, trying and failing to hide the emotion in her voice. “…Is there something you need?”</p><p>“What the hell are you doing?!” Lysithea barged forward, and pulled her house leader around. “Look at me!” As the mage gripped Edelgard’s wrist, the Flame Emperor did not fight the motion, only allowing her gaze to fall to the floor.</p><p>As she saw a flash of Lysithea’s white hair, Edelgard was again transported to her doomed future. She could feel her friend’s barrage of spells, burning and flaying her skin. Sense the loneliness and betrayal, the destruction of a bond that now seemed unbreakable. She finally raised her head, a wilted flower.</p><p>“I…have been rethinking my relationship to my classmates.” The princess coughed into her white glove, ignoring the three sets of eyes that focused on her. “As future Emperor of Adrestia, I have allowed myself to become too…familiar, particularly with individuals not from my own-“</p><p>“Edie…” Dorothea stepped forward, and began to rub her friend’s wrist with a quiet tenderness. The emotion, the raw hurt in her voice, lashed at Edelgard’s heart just as Dorothea’s spells would soon cut into her body. “It’s- it’s okay…we’re all sad. But pushing us away isn’t going-“</p><p>The princess’ speech was mechanical, artificial. “I am doing what <em>must be done</em>. My own feelings do not enter this calculus.”</p><p>Edelgard put her hands to the side of her head, as the sorrow and pain and frustration welled up inside. <em>Stop showing weakness!</em> Her inner voice shrieked at her. <em>Now they can all see it…see how pathetic you really are. Stupid, worthless, insignificant little girl-</em></p><p>“Was it all a lie?” Lysithea’s voice fell to a whisper. “Were those things you said to me...about protecting me…Did they actually mean anything-“</p><p>“Of course they did. However, this incident was a reminder.” Edelgard felt her wrath building, as she rubbed her face with her hands. “When I ascend to the throne…I must make choices. And many of those choices will lead to the deaths of good men like Jeralt, and hurt the friends I care for deeply. As Emperor, I will be-<em>must be-</em>a woman apart, separated from the ordinary world.”</p><p>“That’s nonsense.” Ingrid shook her head firmly. “Dimitri will soon take the throne, just like you, and yet we still train together every week. He provides leadership and-“</p><p>Edelgard’s eyes narrowed, as something inside her snapped. Her attempt at a calm, dispassionate bearing soon shifted to an icy hostility. “And in all your wonderful talks, has your dear childhood friend ever done a single thing to help with your position? When you make the impossible choice between your happiness and your people, where will your king be?”</p><p>“That is not how Faerghus <em>functions</em>.” Ingrid edged forward, refusing to concede. She pushed her blond bangs out of the way. “We are a proud people, and it would be an insult to my family’s honor to accept charity from the king, or anyone else.”</p><p>Edelgard gave a grim smile. Finally she spoke, if only to stop the guilt rampaging through her head. “Ten years from now, when you have your sixth child, watching as both your body and your dreams fall to pieces…will you feel that same loyalty?” Ingrid’s green eyes were consumed with agitation, but the Flame Emperor was undaunted. “Or if you stand by his side, in service as a knight, watching your family and people starve…”</p><p>“Stop it!” Ingrid clenched her fists in rage. “Stop looking down on everyone for one damn second!’</p><p>“It is what I must do. Those are the decisions of a ruler.” Edelgard’s face was merciless, as she turned her eyes to Lysithea. “What if tensions and conflict again consume Hyrm and Ordelia?”</p><p>She pointed accusingly at Dorothea. “Or if I must sanction your future husband?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor raised a gloved hand to Ingrid. “Your territory imports much of its food from the Empire…what if I am forced to redirect those supplies to my own subjects? Would our friendship survive?”</p><p>For what seemed to be hours, none of the women spoke, as the great chasm between the girl with white hair and the rest of the world seemed to widen. She rested her arms on her desk, eyes searching for something indescribable. Finally, she gently raised her head.</p><p>“You are all my friends…and in a better world, I would love nothing more than to stand alongside you.” She grimaced, as she again saw Jeralt’s mangled body. “But in the end…the only thing I can offer in return for your friendship…” she closed her eyes to collect herself. “…Is death and blood and grief. That is the Emperor’s path.”</p><p>“I am sorry, but I am having the disagreement with your words.”</p><p>Petra leaned against the door, muscles taut from years of practice with the bow. She crept forward, with a similar catlike grace to Byleth, and grasped Edelgard’s shoulders firmly. The Flame Emperor felt her resolve wither.</p><p>“When I was taken to this country…all I am thinking…all I am believing is that I am having to be strong. I am the Princess of Brigid, yes?” She gave Edelgard a sad smile. “But inside…All I am feeling on the inside is sadness. For my people and for myself. But I must not be showing the weakness…you are understanding that.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“But when I come to Garreg Mach, I am learning something.” She shook her head, and for a brief moment, her vision lingered over Dorothea. “Being alone is not the real strength. I am needing not just to be the princess, but also Petra.” She pointed at herself, with a graceful beauty that the Flame Emperor envied. “What are we promising to each other, Edelgard, long ago?”</p><p>Edelgard slowly raised her lilac eyes and smiled. “That our countries would stand beside each other as equals. That Brigid and Adrestia would become just as close as we are.”</p><p>Petra nodded, a beaming smile on her face. “One day, you and I will be facing each other, and we will be shaking hands. And that is because we are friends, Edelgard.” She walked forward and wrapped her arms around the surprised princess. “I am loving Professor Byleth, not the same as you, but still caring for her very much. She is needing you right now.”</p><p>For a few moments, Edelgard selfishly allowed herself to soak up the affection from her friend, before she sank down into her seat. For a moment, El covered her face with her hands, gathering herself before the Princess of Adrestia reemerged.</p><p>It was destiny they would fight her…even hate her, in the end. It was just as much of an inescapable fact as the scars that marred the Flame Emperor’s body. But Edelgard would not allow the Goddess, or destiny or anything else to ruin these few precious weeks with the people she loved so very much. These memories would have to sustain her, through the darkness and the loss she would soon experience.</p><p>“I am sorry.” Edelgard looked up, harsh mask hiding a soul full of regret. At that moment, as she looked at the concern and kindness on her friends’ faces, she had never quite felt so completely alone. “There is so much I want to...” She stood, and gave a deep bow. “Please accept my apologies for my rudeness.”</p><p>“Forget it.” Lysithea’s face was as red as a tomato from the greenhouse. “Just…don’t do that ever again, or I’ll…I’ll be really mad!”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard marched across the commons of Garreg Mach, stern features locked on the living quarters of her teacher. She was grateful for Petra and the others. She had been selfish and cruel. Long ago, Edelgard had accepted what her chosen path would mean; shattered friendships, a life filled with tragedy and sorrow, and at the end of her journey, a lonely grave.</p><p>Yet now, as this small respite of peace drew to a close, she could feel herself hesitate. She already longed for the peaceful days that would soon be entombed in the walls of Garreg Mach. She knew her fate, but that did not remove Edelgard’s responsibilities. Until such time as the war would rage, and her friends pointed their weapons at her, she would, she <em>must</em>-the girl paused and shuddered, as she felt the phantom sensation of Ingrid’s spear in her side.</p><p>She was so overcome with anguish, that she failed to react to Hubert’s iron grip on her shoulder as he dragged her into the shadows. His expression was full of concern, and Edelgard could feel a familiar nausea developing in the pit of her stomach.</p><p>“We must return to your room…right now. He is-“</p><p>“My niece…how <em>are</em> you?”</p><p>It was as if the Flame Emperor’s entire body had been doused in ice. A devastating feeling, beyond reason or sense, snatched away any control that Edelgard possessed. Against her will, she forced herself to return to this world, one where Volkhard Arundel stood in front of her. His black eyes glimmered with malice, and a terrible sneer marred his features.</p><p>“I believe it is time that we talked.” He put his hand on her shoulder, and squeezed forcefully. “After all, we have built such a <em>special</em> relationship over the years. Why, sometimes, I wonder if it is no longer valuable to you. I’d hate for us to grow…distant.”</p><p>“You dare to appear here?” Hubert hissed. “Do you think that-”</p><p>“I don’t recall asking for your opinion, retainer.” Thales’ face contorted with rage, but he continued to leer at the princess. “If he interrupts again, I will-“</p><p>“He won’t.” Edelgard glared at Hubert, shaking her head. To her great shame, she adopted a deferential, polite tone that she knew would please Thales. “Now, is there something you need, Uncle? Is it about my <em>objections</em> to your recent proposal? Where I <em>vetoed</em> your military maneuvers?” She looked at him significantly, hoping he would catch her meaning. Luckily, fiend that he was, Thales was no fool.</p><p>He gave an appalling grin. “No, I understand the games you must play. I am confident that in the end, you will come to my way of thinking.” He looked down at his fingernails, each filed into a sharp point. “I do hope that you will not stand in the way of any future…developments.”</p><p>“I would need to know what those developments are.” Underneath Edelgard’s neutral expression, her eyes were hard. “Family loyalty can only extend so far, after all.”</p><p>Arundel gave a bark of laughter, clearly enraged by even this small piece of defiance. “Well, family is part of the reason I am here. Have you seen Monica von Ochs? I’m here to collect her…her father is so terribly worried.”</p><p>It was just as Edelgard had suspected. They needed Kronya. For days, the princess had wondered why Myson and Thales had retreated. She and Byleth had been incapacitated, and Thales was much too arrogant to believe that Dimitri and Claude could stop him. There was a greater plan here, the outline of which the Flame Emperor could only begin to grasp. For the moment, all she could do was stumble blindly in the dark.</p><p>“Monica has not been seen since the attack on the monastery.” Edelgard crossed her arms. “Perhaps she simply is tired of dealing with meddlesome, boorish family.” She glared at the ghoul that had taken her uncle’s skin, eyes aflame. “I cannot blame her… I certainly understand that feeling all too well.”</p><p>What little color there was in Arundel’s face left it. He reached out to grab Edelgard’s throat, only for Hubert to slap it away. The monster was unaccustomed to being defied, and could only massage his wrist, loathing emanating from every inch of his being. After a moment, he glanced around, and leaned forward, voice dropping to a whisper.</p><p>“You are our greatest masterpiece. With the corrupted beast’s blood as kindling, soon you will burn even the gods themselves…” His eyes shone with a fanatical gleam. “You will cleanse this continent with that power, and bring my people salvation.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor shook her head. “For the people responsible for Duscur…and Enbarr...” She thought of Remire, and Jeralt’s kind, gruff voice, and found the strength to look her tormentor in the eye. “There will be no salvation in the end. Only death.”</p><p>Thales began to shake with laughter. “All those acts were for a purpose…the power that now courses through your body. A grand destiny, written in the books of my people.” He again grabbed Edelgard’s shoulders, as she felt a familiar guilt begin to swallow her. “There is nothing else about you that matters.”</p><p>Edelgard hung her head, while Hubert simmered with a barely-contained rage. He stood between Arundel and his liege, preventing the demon from leering at the princess any further.</p><p>She could hear Arundel’s voice, soft and mocking, before his footsteps pounded off the monastery’s worn cobblestones.</p><p>“Embrace it, Flame Emperor. You cannot run from your fate.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>That evening, Edelgard stood outside the door to Byleth’s room, a ferocious war raging in her mind. The Flame Emperor knew she must knock on that door, break the quiet sadness that now hung over Garreg Mach like a funeral shroud. Then, to her great shock, Byleth’s door opened, and Claude emerged. He gave a laconic wave, and closed the door quickly.</p><p>The princess approached warily, unsure how to perceive this unexpected development. Should she let it lie? Claude had fought against Myson and Thales…but to be fair, so had the Flame Emperor. If she was honest, she had a grudging respect for Claude. For all his chicanery, he seemed to be one of the few people at Garreg Mach who grasped the stifling force that the Church of Seiros exerted on this continent.</p><p>But still… there was something about him she did not trust. For a long time, Edelgard had been unable to articulate what gave her such unease. She had only realized it during Horsebow Moon, on the anniversary of the founding of the Leicester Alliance. Lorenz, in his inimitable manner, asked Claude to give a toast to assembled students in the dining hall.</p><p>Edelgard could remember the awkwardness and insincerity in Claude’s eyes. The way his normally smooth, glib voice stumbled as he praised the Alliance’s proud history. It was not just strange…it was inconceivable. Claude was a man with great ambition, something the girl could recognize all too easily. But to what end? It was clear that the country he would soon lead was little more than a tool of convenience. His heart lay elsewhere.</p><p>She straightened her back, and quickened her pace, catching up to Claude. Before she could vocalize a greeting, Claude turned, and greeted her with an insincere smile. “Princess.” He shook his head. “I’d been wondering when you were going to see Teach.” He gestured to one of the benches that dotted the monastery grounds, and the two house leaders quickly sat.</p><p>Edelgard did not want to extend this conversation longer than needed, but she knew Claude would not respond well to a direct inquiry. Subtlety and finesse was necessary whenever she was dealing with the future Duke Riegan.</p><p>“Your senses are quite keen, Claude. I doubt anyone could sneak up on you.”</p><p>Claude gave her one of his trademark smirks, which failed to conceal the pain in his green eyes. “Eh…you live through a handful of political assassinations, you get pretty good at listening for approaching footsteps.” The conversation was a chess match, and now it was time for Claude to make his play. “I suppose it’s not all that different in the Empire…” For a moment, he let the silence build. “In fact, I read some <em>pretty </em>interesting stuff in the restricted section of the library…”</p><p>Edelgard faked a cough, concealing the anger that now welled inside of her. She already could feel the conversation shifting under her feet. “I would hope you, of all people, would not just accept a stray document at face value.”</p><p>The archer laughed, lobbing a verbal assault as easily as an arrow. “I do when it talks about how the Imperial family went from eleven children to one. An odd detail to fake, don’t you agree?”</p><p>The princess only hummed in response.</p><p>“Now, I’m no stranger to the backstabbing that happens around a throne, but I have to commend you on your work ethic, Princess. Going from …what? Eighth in line to the unquestioned Emperor…that’s pretty efficient.”</p><p>Edelgard felt her carefully composed demeanor begin to slip. “I <em>never </em>laid a finger on my siblings…they died of Faerghus Sleeping Sickness, and I-“</p><p>“Tell yourself whatever you want…Edelgard.” Claude’s eyes were cold, the eyes of a man accustomed to control. One who treated every conversation, every relationship, like it was part of the great game of countries and kings. “But that passion? Whatever it is that drives you? It strikes me as the sort of thing that leads to you sacrificing a lot of lives for the ‘greater good.’”</p><p>“Is there a point to this, Claude?”</p><p>He scowled at the Flame Emperor, launching a verbal joust from another angle. “I have to admit, grabbing Lysithea and Marianne really caught me off guard…the sole heirs to two of the six ruling houses of the Alliance. It’s a nice haul.” He slapped her on the back mockingly, causing Edelgard to recoil from the contact. “And I’ve seen how chummy you’ve gotten with the Gautier and Galatea kids as well.”</p><p>“<em>They. Are. My. Friends</em>!” Edelgard stood, her gloved hands clenched. “How dare you imply-“</p><p>“Oh, I’m not implying anything, <em>Princess</em>.” Claude casually stood, and placed his hands behind his head. “I’m just, let’s say…impressed that you happened to forge such deep friendships with Ingrid and Marianne…instead of, oh…Leonie and Ashe?” He leaned against the side of the bench, “For someone who’s always talking about how they hate Crests and nobles, you seem to spend a lot of time-“</p><p>Edelgard reached the limits of her patience, and leaned forward to intrude upon Claude’s personal space. The grin on Claude’s face slowly vanished, as he felt his control of the conversation abruptly disappear.</p><p>“Do you know what your problem is, Claude?”</p><p>That infernal grin reappeared. “I’m too pretty?”</p><p>She ignored the jibe. “For many years, you have used people...manipulated them while you hid behind a false face-a smiling mask of sarcasm and flippancy.” Edelgard crossed her arms. “Perhaps it was in service of a noble goal, or perhaps it was just for your own self-interest…but after so many years, it has left you unable to understand relationships as anything other than transactions.”</p><p>Claude was visibly shaken, the first real emotion he had shown the entire evening. Edelgard was emboldened, and strove for a critical strike.</p><p>“You think you understand me, Claude? Well, <em>I</em> understand you. I can smell the ambition exuding from every pore.” She pointed a gloved finger at the archer. “All your talk about bonds and friendship…it all only matters if you’re still pulling the strings…doesn’t it?”</p><p>The schemer's posture went rigid, and for an instant, a ripple of anger appeared on his face. He straightened his back, shook his head, and began to make his way toward the Great Hall.</p><p>Edelgard realized she still had not received the answer to an important question. “Why were you talking to Professor Byleth?” Her voiced carried across the pastoral greens of the commons.</p><p>Claude shook his head dismissively. “We have to keep the spice in our relationship somehow, Princess! Have a nice evening.” He winked, though whether it was out of respect or mockery, the Flame Emperor remained unsure. As he disappeared behind some shrubbery, the princess was left to ponder whether she had won or lost this battle of wills.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard was still fuming as she knocked on Byleth’s door. Her teacher’s failure to respond only added to the sour taste in the Flame Emperor’s heart. After a few more attempts, she finally called out in a stern voice.</p><p>“My teacher, open this door, right now!”</p><p>There was only silence. Edelgard hung her head, and started the lonely walk back to her dormitory. She could not deny she was hurt…After all she and Byleth had been through together, to be rejected like this? For her beloved teacher to seek comfort, not with Edelgard or any of the other Black Eagles, but <em>Claude,</em> of all people?</p><p>She was so disheartened, she almost did not hear Byleth’s door slowly open, or her teacher’s voice quietly call across the monastery lawn.</p><p>“Edelgard. You came.”</p><p>As they sat in Byleth’s spare and lonely room, Edelgard thought for a moment of the birthday gift she had spent months preparing. She had commissioned a beautiful necklace from the greatest jeweler in Enbarr, fashioned into the icon of the Black Eagle house. It was meant to accompany a passionate declaration of the princess’ feelings for Byleth Eisner.</p><p>That seemed so long ago, now. Another moment stolen away, just as so many of Jeralt’s moments had been taken by her accursed allies. She looked around Byleth’s dormitory. The bed was messy, and pieces of stray paper lay scattered around the room. Normally, the Ashen Demon’s room mirrored her approach to battle-efficient and unadorned. Now, it was a stark window into her confusion and grief.</p><p>Edelgard decided to prepare some tea, mainly to give her hands a target for the nervous energy she now felt. Byleth sank into a corner of the room, arms grasping her knees. She did not speak, her blue eyes staring at both her desk and nothing at all.</p><p>“Would you like Bergamot?” Edelgard raised a tea bag, voice businesslike. Byleth hid her eyes with her hand, and did not respond. “Fine,” said the Flame Emperor. “Bergamot it is.” As she brought the teacup over, and shoved it in front of her teacher, Edelgard waited for a response. When the mercenary’s face still remained hidden, her student’s voice poked and prodded. “You’ve been crying.”</p><p>Again, there was nothing but silence. Edelgard placed the teacup down, and loomed over the seated woman. “So even <em>you </em>can cry, huh?” Byleth’s hands finally lowered, revealing a woman in shock at the cruelty in her student’s voice. The Flame Emperor tilted her head. “What do you think? Was that nasty of me to say? How does that make you feel?”</p><p>“It…it was fine.” Byleth muttered, and lowered her head again, all spirit and fight gone. There was no trace of the woman Edelgard loved and respected. It had vanished, her true feelings covered by a cold, dead snow.</p><p>“Hmmm…” Edelgard shook her head, trying to displace the pain she had caused the love of her life. “I see. You’ve become so blinded by grief, you can’t even see what’s going on right in front of you.” She shook her head. “I wanted to see if you were ready to move forward, but it’s clear you’re in no condi-“</p><p>“SHUT UP!” Byleth stood, her eyes filled with blinding, ferocious hate. “JUST BE QUIET! HOW…HOW COULD YOU UNDERSTAND?!"</p><p>It broke Edelgard’s heart, to see the anger and the rage that was directed at her. She sat on the floor, and stared across at her teacher.</p><p>“Long ago, someone hurled those same words at me.”</p><p>
  <em>“STOP MOVING!” The mage grabbed El’s arm, holding the young girl down with tremendous force. Despite her restraints, the young girl thrashed and kicked in a frenzy of self-preservation. Her knee made contact with the stomach of one of her captors, causing him to drop a tray full of surgical instruments.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With a tremendous crack, the girl’s head was rebounded off the surface of the table. She had only a moment of respite, before the vertigo was replaced with a shooting, stinging pain. The mage was enraged, and had his hand around the girl’s throat. His fingers began to squeeze, and El could feel it all begin to mercifully melt away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Suddenly, the pressure was released, and the girl’s blurred vision showed Arundel and Aegir standing above her. The young girl had held on for weeks. After Aggie and Max had died, she hadn’t even cried. She wouldn’t let them see her shed tears. She would live, because Agnes had made her promise to live, and she loved Agnes very much. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But in that moment, whether it was the raw ache in her stomach, or the knife that was now clumsily carving into her right arm, or the memory of seeing rats eating her sister, or just the fact that she was a scared little girl who wanted her mother and father, something broke. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She began to weep, body racked with an agony and loneliness that no human being should ever experience. Even the Goddess had left her alone, so what else could El do, except cry? It was the only release, the only consolation she had left.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But Aegir and Arundel could not even let El have that. Aegir leaned over the girl with a dreadful sneer. “It seems even this one can cry…I was beginning to wonder.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>El learned something in that awful moment. Tears did not help. Crying did not matter. It did not bring back her siblings, or fill her stomach with food, or make the Goddess love her, or bring her any closer to killing these men who had hurt her so, so much. She was alone. With her free arm, Edelgard wiped the snot and moisture that had accumulated on her face, and stared at her tormentors with an immense and undying hatred. </em>
</p><p>For a moment, there was silence, as Byleth and Edelgard glared at each other. The Flame Emperor shook her head, her voice harsh and exacting.</p><p>“That is why I must now ask you...Are you waiting…expecting time to heal your wounds? Or have you curled up in the corner, and lost the will to carry on?”</p><p>A look of anger reappeared on Byleth’s face, and she mumbled a response under her breath.</p><p>“I’m sorry, my teacher. I didn’t catch that.”</p><p>“<strong>I said</strong>, it doesn’t matter either way! Papa's dead!” The Ashen Demon lowered her head, and begin to pull her beautiful blue hair in frustration. “I thought you l-“ she paused for a moment. “How could you ask me something like that?”</p><p>“Of course it matters. <em>Everything</em> matters. That is why I needed to see if…” The princess shook her head. “In all our time together, have I ever asked you a pointless question? You don’t sound like yourself.”</p><p>“What if I don’t want to be myself anymore? I want to go back to not feeling…to how I was before!” Byleth spat in anger, hands clenched on her black tights. “I…I let Papa die…and every time I close my eyes, I can see his face…and every night I just want to talk to him again…” She slammed a fist into the wall, and glared up at Edelgard. “Dimitri understood.”</p><p>The princess’ eyes widened in surprise. “Dimitri was here too? With Claude?”</p><p>Byleth nodded slowly. “Claude picked the lock, and they both said I needed to talk to them. Claude wouldn’t leave until I gave him Papa’s diary…he said he wanted to use it to look for clues.” Her teacher was clearly wounded by this betrayal, and Edelgard tried to ignore the simmering fury that now built within her.</p><p>“And what of Dimitri?”</p><p>Byleth gripped her legs tightly to her chest. “He said I should stay here until I found some peace… that it’s not a sign of strength to just keep moving forward.” She covered her ears, as if trying to ignore a shout, but there was only silence. “That’s what he did after Duscur…He said he-”</p><p>“…And did that make you <strong>feel better</strong>?” The princess shot to her feet, completely incensed. “To talk about another person’s history and pain?” An awkward silence ensued, as the Flame Emperor’s shoulders rose and fell. Edelgard’s face did not soften, but her lilac eyes regained some of their light. “My teacher…how many tears must you shed before the agony vanishes? How long do think it will take until that ache in your heart goes away?”</p><p>Byleth’s hands fell limply to the floor. “I…don’t know. I...I just want my Papa back.” Her shoulders began to shake, but no tears fell to the floor. “I just want everything to stop…”</p><p>“I will tell you.” The princess seated herself on the floor, and stared unceasingly into the Ashen Demon’s blue eyes. “It will <em>never </em>go away. You will always feel a void…a hole where your heart once existed.”</p><p>Something about Edelgard’s words shook the Ashen Demon, and she looked at her chest with an inscrutable expression. The Flame Emperor, for her part, crossed her arms, and furrowed her brow.</p><p>“My teacher, your sorrow can only be understood by you…no one else.” Edelgard slowly stood, and began to pace back and forth in Byleth’s tiny dormitory. “I can sympathize, or even empathize, but all I can truly offer is the tears of an onlooker.”</p><p>Byleth gawked at Edelgard, completely at a loss for words.</p><p>“That is why I have no intention of standing still and crying with you. What I can…” She paused, ignoring the knowledge that this woman would soon be her enemy, ignoring the fact that what Edelgard truly wanted was to grab this woman and hold her forever. The Flame Emperor extended a scarred arm. “I can give you my hand, when it is time for me to move forward. <em>That </em>is all I can do.”</p><p>The Ashen Demon was silent for a moment, before she lifted her blue eyes to Edelgard, her voice hesitant and faltering. “How…how did you become so…cold?”</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard sat in her cell, holding the dagger in her arms. The hilt sparkled and gleamed in Enbarr’s afternoon sun. The girl…before…had loved that sun and sky. But that wasn’t who she was anymore. That girl no longer existed, and right now, Edelgard just wanted an end to the pain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looked at her dagger. Her friend…her friend had told her to cut a path to the future with this gift. Perhaps this is what her future should be…one without hurt or sorrow. She could see her siblings again. No one would scream or cut her anymore. It would be so easy…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She held the dagger aloft, oblivion and peace inches away. It was like standing above a great canyon, and Edelgard had never felt so small in her entire young life. There was a single naked choice that now stood before her. To put an end to that constant pain, the despair and anguish that filled her lungs…or to fight on. Push that sorrow aside, and do what she could so no one would ever feel this desolation ever again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The dagger fell to the floor with a clatter, the sound rebounding off every square inch of the dungeon. Edelgard had made her decision. She would live, but her life was no longer hers. There was only the dream…a dream that she would pursue to the very end.</em>
</p><p>Edelgard did not respond to her teacher’s question, and simply continued to hold out her hand.</p><p>“When the time comes…you’ll be leading us into battle, won’t you?” The Flame Emperor felt her voice begin to crack. “Or will you simply stay here and waste your time, with no thought of the future that is fast approaching?”</p><p>There was only silence.</p><p>“My teacher, I eagerly await your answer.”</p><p>After a few seconds, Byleth stood, and grasped her student’s hand firmly. There was still a hurt in the Ashen Demon’s eyes…the deep bond of trust between Edelgard and Byleth had become frayed by Edelgard’s harsh words.</p><p>But as with so many things, the princess had resolved to do what was necessary, not what her heart desired. Her teacher was up and about…Byleth had made the choice to stand, and for that, Edelgard would accept any hatred in the eyes of the woman she loved.</p><p>The moment was broken, as a tremendous banging noise came from the door to Byleth’s room. The mercenary and the princess looked at each other for a moment, and the Ashen Demon’s sword was at the ready in an instant. The banging continued, and only increased in intensity.</p><p>Edelgard walked forward, and gave Byleth a nod. The two women stood, preparing for an ambush, and the princess carefully pulled open the door.</p><p>Monica fell forward, collapsing onto the ground. Her student outfit was ripped and torn, and her body was covered in scars and bruises. She looked up at Edelgard and Byleth, hoarse voice barely above a whisper.</p><p>“Edelgard. Professor. I…I need your help…I can tell you where they are…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I must admit, I've been somewhat dreading this chapter. Without diving into this too deeply, I will just say that Edelgard's advice is 1) completely linked to her (fantastically written) C-PTSD, and 2) is a pretty accurate portrayal of how someone who goes through an extended period of abuse responds. </p><p>I've always expected/understood why Edelgard is a controversial character. She's a person who does some terrible things, and her journey is not a story or arc that is usually told. But in a way, that makes the fact that this character exists-someone who portrays both the ugliness of trauma and yet also has her humanity and viewpoint validated-so special. It's why she means a great deal to so many people.</p><p>On a lighter note, I'd like to mention that I'm going to be doing a story for the Edelgard Fanzine! We're currently in the drafting stages, but I've seen some of the fantastic artwork that's already in progress, and let me tell you...this is going to be something really, really special, folks! Here's the link, if you're interested: (https://twitter.com/EdelgardFanzine)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Awakening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edelgard stared overhead at the oppressive grey clouds that now loomed over Garreg Mach. The princess loved the serenity of the outdoors, but there was no beauty in the Black Eagles’ destination. The Sealed Forest was an evil, broken place. Today, that influence seemed to poison even the sky itself.</p><p>Perhaps this was the reason the Agarthians had become so depraved. To go for so long without the sun’s rays…Edelgard had lived in the darkness for only a short time, and it had tarnished and perverted the girl she once was into…she shook her head as she stared at her white gloves. What would a millennia of darkness do?</p><p>The Flame Emperor leaned toward Monica, the two women standing slightly apart from the rest of the Eagles. Edelgard’s whispered voice had all the edge of her beloved dagger. “I will be watching you…closely. If this is a trap, or a foolish plan to make your way back into Thales’ good graces…”</p><p>Monica did not respond, her wild red eyes flashing with an emotion Edelgard could not place. She had not talked to the girl since her escape from the Agarthians, and much of Monica’s time had been taken up in interviews with Seteth. It was a miracle Kronya had not been discovered. The Flame Emperor was all too aware that the Black Eagles were walking into a trap, but what else could she do?</p><p>Byleth had told the rest of the Eagles to prepare for the forthcoming battle, and they were quietly awaiting their teacher’s arrival. The plan had been to leave early in the morning, before Seteth and the Knights of Seiros would become aware.</p><p>“You must rein in your personal feelings, Professor!”</p><p>Seteth’s voice carried even to the marketplace, and the Black Eagles turned to see the commotion. Byleth was striding forward, a determined expression in her blue eyes. She did not turn back to respond to his call.</p><p>In a single instant, every single Black Eagles’ gaze fell upon a remorseful Flayn. She tried to speak, her usual stilted tone replaced by a flustered uneasiness. “I…my brother was most insistent on where I…” She hung her head, overcome with embarrassment.</p><p>Byleth put her hand on the young girl’s shoulder, and smiled. “It does not change anything, Flayn.” She turned and looked at her assembled students. “Black Eagles! We march in five minutes!” There was a quiet fury in Byleth’s voice, a commanding tone that was the only remnant of the agitation that had consumed her days earlier.</p><p>She sounded like a leader, more than ever before. As Edelgard hoisted her steel weapon, she idly wondered about the Byleth she had heard so much about in her future visions. The princess had witnessed firsthand the wrath that would soon envelop her friends. Would Byleth feel that same disgust? Or would the inevitable clash of sword against ax cleave her teacher’s heart as well?</p><p>Seteth, as was typical of his interactions with Byleth and Flayn, would not take no for an answer. He marched down the steps, and grabbed the Ashen Demon’s arm firmly.</p><p>“It is all too likely that our foes revealed themselves to lure you out there. I understand how you must feel…however-“</p><p>“Do you?” Byleth’s voice was ice-cold, shocking even the Flame Emperor. She carefully pulled Seteth’s hand off her wrist. “You can’t stop me.” There was something wild, deep inside the Ashen Demon, and Edelgard could not help feeling responsible for what her words had unleashed.</p><p>“Restrain yourself, Byleth.”</p><p>The Archbishop stood at the top step of the marketplace, surrounded by a legion of armed guards. For a moment, Edelgard was confused by the expression on the Immaculate One’s face, before it all fell into place…it was fear. Rhea’s green eyes hid a strange anxiety. It extended beyond worry…it was as if the thought of losing Byleth shook the Archbishop to her very core.</p><p>Byleth lowered her head slightly, momentarily chastened by the Archbishop’s command. The woman seemed to float down the steps of Garreg Mach, before placing a hand on the Ashen Demon’s cheek. The mercenary’s eyes closed for a moment, soaking up a comfort and reassurance that Edelgard felt unable to provide.</p><p>“After Jeralt…we must not lose you, as well.”</p><p>As Edelgard watched the Archbishop caress her teacher, a seething jealousy erupted within her. She pushed past a surprised Linhardt, and cleared her throat loudly.</p><p>“I support Professor Byleth’s choice.” The princess shook her head firmly. “This is the most strategic decision we could possibly make. You can’t deny it.”</p><p>The Archbishop was clearly annoyed by both the interruption and the lack of decorum the Flame Emperor had demonstrated. However, in the end, Rhea’s curiosity outweighed any other concerns.</p><p>“And why is that, child?”</p><p>“Because Byleth was…” Edelgard paused, and tried to ignore the bile that now rose in her throat. “…chosen by the Goddess to wield the Sword of the Creator. No one here is more powerful.”</p><p>For a brief instant, every set of eyes fell on the pulsating relic weapon at the mercenary’s hip. Perhaps it was the somber mood, but the strange red glow emanating from the savage weapon appeared to increase in intensity.</p><p>“Seteth can remain here, with the other knights to guard Garreg Mach.” Edelgard tilted her head upward, a trick she had learned over the years to compensate for her height. “The Black Eagles are the most effective army here, and besides…” She gestured to Monica, who was staring at the Archbishop with an expression of pure dread. “We have the element of surprise. We must act now!”</p><p>Rhea hesitated, placing a beautifully manicured fingertip to her lips. For a brief moment, Edelgard could see calluses on the Archbishop’s hand. For all her elegance, Rhea clearly had experience with a sword.</p><p>“Byleth…are you fine with this?”</p><p>Byleth walked forward and placed her hand on Edelgard. For a moment, that frightening coldness reappeared. “Yes. They want vengeance. Just as much as I do.” But then Byleth smiled, and it was replaced by the gentleness Edelgard treasured so deeply. “There is no one I would rather fight alongside than Edelgard and the Black Eagles.” She squeezed her prize student’s shoulder with a firm yet tender grip. “I know that my students always have my best interests at heart.”</p><p>The princess’ interactions with her beloved teacher had been stiff ever since their argument, but for a brief moment, all the confusing feelings and raw hurt seemed to wash away. Byleth’s hand was a silent oath-no matter what was to come, Edelgard and Byleth would always be bound together.</p><p>Even as the Flame Emperor swam upstream against the raging current of fate, Byleth was there. Her teacher, always reaching out her hand, no matter how cold and cruel Edelgard could be. The princess knew she did not deserve this woman’s love, or even her friendship, but she would always be grateful for these brief moments. For the rest of her life, she would be chasing Byleth Eisner’s shadow.</p><p>Rhea nodded, clearly uncomfortable with Byleth’s decision, yet unwilling to challenge her further. There was something vulnerable in the woman’s expression, as she looked at the Ashen Demon with a deep yearning. But in a moment, it was gone, and the Archbishop turned to the assembled Black Eagles.</p><p>“I command this of all of you,” she bellowed as she extended her arms wide. “The enemy lurking in the Sealed Forest. <em>Eradicate</em> them.” The students nodded grimly, and Rhea’s stern face lapsed into a quiet serenity. “Whatever happens, you have the protection of the Goddess on your side. It will allow you to overcome any obstacle.”</p><p>Edelgard’s hands balled into fists. She wanted to scream, to demand of the Archbishop why the Goddess’ protection did not extend to the dank cells of Enbarr. For so long, Edelgard had prayed and begged for deliverance. For the Goddess to save her…but the princess had learned something in that gloomy room. The only thing she could trust was her own two human hands. Anything else was a weakness.</p><p>As they prepared to leave, Edelgard could see Monica quietly glaring at the Archbishop with an immense loathing. The princess could not help feeling a small fragment of pity for the wretch. In a way, they were the same. Two children, left abandoned in the dark.</p><p>
  <em>“Aggie...” El disentangled herself from her blankets, crawling to the side of the bed. She allowed her legs to dangle, as she built up the courage to ask her question. “I know you just read me a story, but I was wondering….”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes closed the book of stories she had just finished reading, and smiled at her younger sister with a maternal fondness. “Of course, El. What do you need?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Can…can you show me how to pray?” El’s voice got very quiet. “I don’t have anyone else to ask. Father’s so busy and…and…” The girl was unable to express the loneliness she felt every day. The quiet hurt left in the wake of her mother’s abandonment. “I-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes was upon her in an instant, understanding her sister like no one else could. She grabbed her arms, and held them tightly. El could feel the warmth, absorbing it like a flower drank the sun’s rays. “It’s easy…” Agnes smiled reassuringly. “Just close your eyes, and tell Her what you’re feeling,”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Even though I can’t see Her?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Yes.” Agnes gave a slow nod, before pulling El in and grabbing her tightly. “What are you feeling right now? Just talk, and She’ll listen.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>El took a deep breath, feeling very silly. “Sothis…” El began, the young girl’s voice full of self-consciousness. “Sometimes, I feel really lonely. I have to stay in the palace, and I feel so different from everybody else.” The awkwardness in her voice disappeared, as she released the long unspoken burdens in her chest. “It makes me wonder if Mother left because I was so different. If…if I did something wrong, could You tell her I’m sorry?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes squeezed her sister’s hand forcefully.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But Father is so brave and strong, and my siblings are my favorite people in the whole world.” El’s voice rose in pitch and fervor. “Even though I don’t have a mother, they still treat me so nicely. Please take care of all of them.” The girl felt a wonderful lightness in her chest. A sense of trust and calm, a knowledge that somehow, everything would be all right, because Sothis was listening. “Especially Aggie.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>After a few seconds of silence, the princess opened her eyes. “Do you feel better?” smiled her older sister, a gentle look that filled El’s heart with joy. After El nodded, Agnes placed a hand on her younger sister’s cheek. “Now, any time you feel sad or lonely, just talk to Her just like that. Even if I’m not around. I promise She’ll listen.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Okay.” El smiled, as she felt a sense of belonging she had never experienced before. “I will.”</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Monica led the convoy through the Sealed Forest, only occasionally stopping to consider the winding path she was leading the Black Eagles on. Edelgard and Byleth walked closely behind, mainly to reassure the other students. When the princess turned back, she could see the quiet doubt in their eyes. It was understandable.</p><p>Monica had not accompanied the class on any of their previous missions. Yet now, the red-haired girl led the group with a hardened confidence that seemed completely at odds with the girl loitering around the monastery. With a gesture, she brought the Eagles to a stop, as she looked at a withered old tree.</p><p>“Was it right, or left…” she muttered absentmindedly.</p><p>Caspar pushed through the group, full of bravado. “Oh, Professor Byleth taught me this one, Monica! I know you don’t go on missions, so let me show you…” He gestured toward the left path. “You see how some of those branches are snapped?” He began to walk into the underbrush. “That means that they probably got destroyed when-“<br/>
<br/>
“Stop!“ Monica jumped forward, tackling a surprised Caspar to the ground. Just in front of the two student’s path, an eruption of arrows suddenly filled the clearing. Monica raised a broken tripwire and brandished in front of Caspar’s face. “You pathetic weakling! Hasn’t your teacher trained you to watch for a simple trap like…”</p><p>“Gee, Monica!” Caspar looked up at his savior, and began to laugh heartily. “It sure was lucky you were here! Thanks!”</p><p>The assassin stared at the boy she had just saved from a horrific death with incomprehension. “You can’t be…”</p><p>“All right,” Lysithea stomped forward. “I’ve kept quiet, but none of this makes sense. What’s going on with you, Monica?” Her pastel eyes narrowed dangerously, as she unconsciously moved closer to Edelgard. “You’re clearly not some kidnapped schoolgirl, and I’m not taking another step until you tell us what’s going on.”</p><p>For a brief moment, Monica’s face contorted with a terrifying rage. It was a madness that Edelgard had seen so often. But as the Agarthian looked around the clearing, it was clear she realized the gravity of her situation. She was surrounded. Blind panic quickly replaced her anger.</p><p>“I- That’s none of your business, worm!” she snarled. “I don’t have to answer to-“</p><p>“She’s with me.” Edelgard overcame her inner feelings of revulsion, and placed a hand on the Agarthian’s shoulder. “She’s an Imperial spy, using Monica’s identity as a cover to investigate topics of interest around Garreg Mach.”</p><p>Hubert closed his eyes, and placed a hand on the bridge of his nose. Edelgard tried to ignore her retainer’s displeasure. She was all too aware that the story was as strained as the buttons on Raphael’s shirt. It amazed even the Flame Emperor-how easily the lies fell off her lips. She could only gamble that the emotion of the moment would distract her fellow Eagles.</p><p>It was clear that many of the students were upset at this development-Ferdinand began to tut loudly, and Ingrid and Sylvain exchanged a worried glance with one another-but to Edelgard’s great relief and shame, they seemed to believe her.</p><p>Byleth raised her left eyebrow, the only visible reaction from the stoic mercenary. She looked between the princess and Monica for a moment, lips pursed. “We’re going to talk after this, Edelgard.”</p><p>The princess knew that this was only a temporary reprieve, but she could not help feeling deeply relieved. “Of course, my teacher.”</p><p>As the tension fell from a fever pitch, Caspar’s loud voice echoed through the forest.</p><p>“Hey, Monica…do you think you can stand up? It’s getting kinda uncomfortable with you on top of me…”</p><p>After normalcy returned, Monica edged even closer to Edelgard. The Agarthian held her dagger tightly, gaze rushing between the trees.</p><p>“This doesn’t change anything.”</p><p>Edelgard sighed. “I didn’t expect it to. But for the moment, we’re stuck together.” The two women walked through the foggy clearing, with only the occasional hoot of an owl breaking the silence. Finally, the princess leaned in. “They’re not going to let you back, you know.”</p><p>Monica raised an eyebrow. “What are you-“</p><p>“Don’t play dumb.” Edelgard’s voice lowered to a hiss. “Even if you deliver us to them. Even if you kill Byleth…” Her lilac eyes fell upon her teacher, and for a moment, they softened. “You’re a loose end. An expendable asset.”</p><p>“I don’t have a choice!” The assassin was dangerously close to erupting in fury. “Thales will-“</p><p>“Monica.” Byleth had an intuitive sense for when her students were troubled, and that extended to even the imposter. Her expression was one, not of loathing or hatred, but of concern. “Thank you.”</p><p>Monica was at a loss for how to respond, and the broken girl defaulted to what she knew best. Anger.</p><p>“What?! Why are you thanking me?“</p><p>“Because you’re helping me avenge my father.” Byleth’s blue eyes were as cold and unknowable as the ocean. “Before I came to Garreg Mach, every day I had to kill people to live. The only person who cared about me was my Papa.” She looked down at the forest floor. “And now he’s gone.”</p><p>Monica blanched.</p><p>“If you and Edelgard can’t tell me everything, I understand…” Byleth shook her head. “But right now, you’re helping me, and I am still your teacher.” She placed on hand on Monica, causing the girl to momentarily flinch. When she realized that the gesture was not an act of aggression, Monica’s face darted between Edelgard and Byleth.</p><p>“This…Jeralt...what did he do when you killed someone? When you were a kid, I mean. What did he tell you?” It was probably the first time the princess had heard Monica ask a genuine question.</p><p>“He hated that I had to do it.” Byleth was staring both at her students and at nothing at all. “But we had to eat. He always told me that killing was something I did, but it didn’t have to be who I was.”</p><p>“I’m not sure why I should believe someone who jumped in front of spell for a stranger.” Monica’s voice was designed to wound. Edelgard knew that voice intimately, the covering up of one’s own guilt by pushing it outward. Turning all your pain into a weapon, just so someone else could understand how broken you felt.</p><p>But Byleth refused to react. “Papa’s job was to save people…that’s what he did. He protected you because you needed help.” Monica’s eyes went wide, as the Ashen Demon nodded sagely. “Everyone deserves that.”</p><p>Monica became fixated on the leaves and shrubs that dotted the forest floor. As the approached the edge of the trees, she stopped, and stuck her arm out to impede Byleth’s momentum. “We’re going a different way.” She gestured to a darker section of the woods.</p><p>Despite the abrupt change in direction, the Black Eagles followed their teacher without question. The Ashen Demon had spent a week instructing her class how to move through the forest soundlessly, and the Eagles were nothing if not precocious students.</p><p>The minutes passed, and the only noise that Edelgard could hear was the rapid beating of her heart. She had little idea of what awaited both her and her teacher. Years ago, she would have prayed for the safety of her friends and for Byleth. El would have trusted that Sothis would keep her loved ones safe.</p><p>But she was not El anymore.</p><p>
  <em>"Aggie…please…GET UP!” Her sister’s hands were so very cold. El had told herself that she was prepared, as if any little girl could possibly be ready for such a horrific event. She knew that her sister’s strength had been faltering. But that did not change the awful reality. Agnes was gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She grabbed her sister’s body, holding her tightly, hoping somehow that those arms would grab and hold her again. That El would feel safe. That the world would once again make sense.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sothis!” El’s voice was filled with a terrible ferocity. “GIVE HER BACK!” The Goddess was supposed to protect them! All those days El had begged and pleaded, all those times she had tried to do what was right…and yet when she needed help…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And now she would never hear her sister’s voice again. Never be read another bedtime story. Never be able to tell Aggie, or any of her other siblings how much she loved them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El felt Max’s large arms begin to pull her away, but she gripped onto her sister all the tighter. “TAKE ME!” The prayer was desperate, pleading, the final cry of a girl who had lost everything she once believed. She shrank into herself. “…please…” El begged, with everything she was, for her sister to open her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sothis did not respond.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her older brother held her closely, his emaciated frame shaking with rage and despair. “Don’t- Don’t say that, El. You have to live.” He tried to soothe her, but she could see the tears that welled in his brown eyes. “That’s what she’d want you to- You have to do that. For her. For me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The girl’s face darkened. Max was right. She had prayed a simple request of the Goddess-to fulfill the promises in the Scriptures of Seiros. To keep safe everything that was good and beautiful in El’s world. But Sothis had <strong>lied!</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em>She would never believe the words of Sothis again, the false promise that the Goddess was good. That she protected the weak and the downtrodden. Sothis had stood silently by, watching while her siblings suffered. All those stories of the miracles of the Saints-and yet when her family needed deliverance…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Goddess didn’t love the Hresvelgs. She had let them suffer and die, by knife and hunger and despair. Silently watching, while breaking all the promises She had made.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El looked down at her scarred hands, still recovering from the previous day’s surgery. She must fight. Not only for herself, but so that her sister’s death was not in vain. Trusting in the Goddess’ words…waiting for others to save you…was weakness. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she would never be weak again.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The Black Eagles gathered around an ancient stone outcropping. Monica raised her hand, and pointed to an ominous collection of stone pillars. “That’s where he’ll be. The one that killed Jeralt.”</p><p>Hubert’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “How can you be certain?”</p><p>Before Monica had a chance to respond, Byleth Eisner stood. All the control and tranquility that exuded from the Black Eagle professor disappeared in a single, terrible instant. The Sword of the Creator flashed, as the Ashen Demon swung it to her side.</p><p>“Everyone. Stay back.” The words came out in a low, terrible growl, one that shook Edelgard to her core. She raised her hand to restrain her teacher, but the mercenary sprinted off in an instant.</p><p>There was a small clump of trees between Byleth and the mysterious columns. With a single swing, the Sword of the Creator tore the trees out from the roots, launching them at tremendous speed. For a moment, the students could only watch in awe.</p><p>Edelgard regained control first. “Black Eagles. Attack!” She charged forward, steel ax at the ready. She could feel Petra and Sylvain at her side, and Ingrid soaring above. Perhaps this was the final gift Edelgard could give her teacher. Even if they would soon cross swords, today…they would make these monsters <em>pay.</em></p><p>When the Black Eagles caught up to their teacher, they found a trail of carnage in her wake. The bodies of seven mages were strewn about the clearing, with a few more grievously injured. The Ashen Demon was already in combat with Myson, who was launching both insults and spells at his opponent. A weakened mage raised his arm to fire an assault at Byleth, only for Bernadetta’s arrow to find its mark.</p><p>Byleth was allowing her rage to make her careless, as Myson’s spells battered the mercenary over and over. Edelgard’s shout echoed throughout the forest. “Keep the Professor safe!” The Black Eagles began to provide support. As Edelgard looked around the clearing, there was no sign of Monica.</p><p><em>Typical…the vermin must have fled…</em> Edelgard’s inner voice roiled with anger, as she set a mage ablaze with a flame spell. Still, Kronya’s alternate path had given the Eagles the element of surprise, and many of Myson’s men were easy prey.</p><p>There was a tremendous rumble and crashing amongst the trees. Ingrid swooped above the treeline, as always, maintaining a steady, even calm. “Everyone. Two beasts incoming!” The monsters tore through the Sealed Forest, throwing tree trunks to the side like blades of grass. The pegasus knight dodged one of the massive projectiles, and drove her spear into the abomination’s side.</p><p>The enraged monster swung at her in rage and fear, leaving the creature’s soft underbelly open for Ferdinand and Sylvain’s lances. As it stumbled to the earth, it was hit with a barrage of spells and arrows from Hubert, Bernadetta, and Marianne.</p><p>“A fine performance, everyone!” The future prime minister slapped Hubert on the back heartily. “When the Aegir and Vestra houses unite, none shall stand in our way!”</p><p>“Stop preening, you fool.” Hubert was trying and failing to hide the smile that threatened to break through his dark features. “There is still a battle to be fought, and-“</p><p>“Say no more, my friend! Ferdinand von Aegir worries about his friends as well! I promise that I shall return safely!” He charged forward in combat with the second monster, leaving a flustered, irritated Hubert in his wake.</p><p>Petra dodged back and forth, leaping over the other monster’s tail. As she flipped over, she steadied her bow, and gracefully drove an arrow into the monster’s eye. The beast staggered back, crashing into the treeline.</p><p>Edelgard turned to see Byleth dodging and deflecting Myson’s attacks. “Our teacher needs support! Go!” The princess’ commanding voice and gestures drew the attention of the Black Eagles.</p><p>“But…but the monster…it-it isn’t dead!” Bernadetta’s voice rose into a squeak.</p><p>Long ago, Edelgard had been a beautiful, happy young girl. She was innocent and good, until the world had carved away all her innocence and goodness. What once was soft and warm had become hard and cold. A brutal, unfeeling weapon. Only Edelgard knew the truth…the terrible strength that lurked just under the surface.</p><p>The girl knew that someday, the ugliness inside her would be revealed. It would drive away everyone and everything. She knew she was meant to be alone. But she had learned something in the endless darkness-terrible power had its uses. She would use this cursed husk to protect the people she loved...until they fled from her as well.</p><p>The Flame Emperor conjured a powerful flame in her gloved hand, and in a single motion, set the head of her steel ax aflame with magical energy. She knew she only had seconds, so she took off in a sprint. The might of two Crests left large depressions where her powerful legs collided with the earth.</p><p>She pushed off the ground with all the force of a ballista, launching herself and her blazing weapon high into the air. The beast has begun to free itself from the forest, only for the downward arc of Edelgard’s burning ax to meet the creature’s skull.</p><p>The force of the blow drove straight through the beast, Edelgard’s raw power reducing much of what had been the monster's head to ash. As she landed on the ground, she paused to catch her breath, before feeling Dorothea’s steady hands helping her to her feet.</p><p>A sly smile lit up Dorothea's features. “Can we put that one in the opera, Edie?” The house leader stared at the diva with a combination of exasperation and mirth, before nodding firmly.</p><p>As Dorothea and Edelgard turned, and ran toward their teacher, it was clear Byleth was allowing her rage to control her. The swipes of her sword had begun to leave the Ashen Demon open, and Myson was punishing each mistake with a blast of dark magic.</p><p>It was so different than the detached mercenary that Edelgard had first met. Byleth was becoming human, and to be human was to feel-to become vulnerable to pain and loss and sorrow. That fear was why Edelgard herself had run away-hidden herself behind masks and crowns. She understood her teacher’s pain like no one else possibly could.</p><p>Three jagged purple crystals struck Byleth’s side and leg, forcing her to the ground. Myson began to laugh, dodging a flurry of attacks from the Black Eagles. With a wave of his arm, reinforcements emerged, separating the students from their beloved teacher. Despite the devastation that Edelgard and Lysithea unleashed upon the unfortunate soldiers, they would not be able to reach her in time.</p><p>As Myson raised his arm, he laughed uproariously. “We wanted you here, Fell Star! All of our plans have led to this glorious moment…where the world is returned to humanity!” His black eyes gleamed with a fanatical bliss.</p><p>A dagger flew through the air, burying itself in the mage’s arm. The weapon hit a vital point, causing the man’s arm to flop uselessly at his side. He screamed horrifically, before pulling the weapon out with a sickening pop. Monica stood on a nearby boulder, face full of that terrifying insanity and ferocity that Edelgard knew so well.</p><p>“You…” gasped Myson with disgust. “You have brought shame upon-“ Another dagger flew from Monica’s arm at lightning speed, burying itself in the man’s left leg. Myson crumpled to the earth, two of his limbs completely useless. She began to play with her prey, more and more knives finding their mark.</p><p>Monica flipped and spun forward, giggling with a crazed, disturbing intensity. There was little attempt to hide the ruthless killer she was, or the joy she so clearly felt. “How cute!” She pulled her preferred weapon, the gleaming black dagger that Edelgard had seen on her person so many times, and held it above Myson’s head. “You were trying <em>so</em> hard! But now it’s time to di-“</p><p>Monica’s next words came out in a strangled gurgle, as Solon appeared in an explosion of dark energy. His hand gripped her throat tightly, as he stared down at Myson with disdain. “You allowed the <em>sacrifice</em> to wound you, Myson? Pathetic.”</p><p>Monica thrashed and kicked, but Solon’s grip remained firm. His voice had all the certainty and fanaticism of a preacher of the Church of Seiros. “Have no fear. Your sacrifice will save this world from the beasts that now infest it.” He raised his hand aloft, and stared at Byleth with an immense loathing. “O Forbidden Curse…”</p><p>Lysithea and Dorothea’s spells deflected off of the madman’s magical shield. For a moment, he lowered his still struggling captive and began to laugh. “I don’t have time to bother with the likes of-“</p><p>Edelgard nodded at Hubert. “Do it now!” Her retainer understood, and in a flash of red, the princess was transported behind the mage’s defenses. She grabbed Monica’s dropped dagger, and viciously separated Solon’s arm from his body. He stared down at the stump of his arm with a look of annoyance.</p><p>The Flame Emperor grabbed Monica, and the two women stumbled away from the Agarthian mages. Byleth had been receiving treatment from Linhardt, but in a fit of anger, pulled the remnants of Myson’s attack out of her leg, and marched forward to take her revenge.</p><p>Solon began to laugh, as the Ashen Demon loomed above him. “It matters not. The time has come.” His dead, black eye fell upon his fellow mage.</p><p>Myson appeared to sense that something had gone dreadfully wrong, but Monica’s weapons prevented him from moving. He gasped out a pathetic plea. “But that was <strong>her</strong> purpose! I am meant for something greater! I am-!”</p><p>Solon’s remaining arm plunged into Myson’s chest, and his face lit up with joy. In a single motion, he tore the unfortunate Agarthian’s heart from his body, holding it aloft with glee.</p><p>“O Forbidden Curse of Zahras…Open thy jaws…and swallow the Fell Star whole!”</p><p>Petra, Ingrid and Edelgard all dived toward their teacher, but black flames erupted from the earth, preventing them from reaching her in time. This spell Solon had unleashed…it was <em>wrong</em>. It was an affront against every law of nature. A void appeared, ripping through the very sky.</p><p>Just looking at the vacuum made Edelgard feel an intense despair. For years, the princess had felt a profound terror when thinking about the deep, black bottomless sea. A primal abyss that would swallow everything, that did not care about her silent hopes and dreams. The coldness and emptiness she now experienced was worse by a thousandfold.</p><p>She could barely make out Byleth and Solon’s figures, before, to her great horror, Byleth was cast into the darkness. She ran toward the black flames, without an ounce of self-preservation, only to feel Monica’s hands hold her back. Edelgard struggled and fought, but the Agarthian refused to let her go.</p><p>Just as abruptly as the spell had appeared, it vanished. A terrible silence hung over the woods, as the Black Eagles looked on with stunned disbelief. As the black flames dispelled, Solon stood in the center of the pillars, a man who had accomplished the great task of his life.</p><p>He collapsed to his knees, overcome with emotion. “The Forbidden Spell…the Fell Star will spend eternity in the void…never to return to this world again.” He lowered his remaining arm to the ground. “My brothers. It is done.”</p><p>Edelgard broke out of Monica’s grasp, all conscious thought gone. At full speed, she thrust her knee into the mage, sending his head flying backward with a sickening crack. As he landed, she drove her fists into his face, over and over, as Solon silently taunted her with a contented smile. The only thing that stopped her was Hubert’s arm, gently grabbing her bloodstained gloves.</p><p>“Why?” Dorothea’s voice echoed from somewhere above Edelgard’s right shoulder. “How could you do that to Professor Byleth?”</p><p>The shattered remnants of Solon’s face began to gently wheeze with laughter. “We killed the Fell Star before…and she came back. The Forbidden Spell is the only means to remove the Malific’s influence from the world… forever…”</p><p>Edelgard pulled Solon up by the collar. “What are you talking about?” But in her mind, she already knew the answer. The experiments at Remire-they were experimenting on the Crest of Flames…the Goddess’ Crest. It was why she and Byleth had both been sick. This must have been how Hubert’s dagger had disappeared-</p><p>Solon began to laugh uproariously. “Do you know how difficult it is to remove something from this world? To keep it locked forever in the endless darkness?” His golden eye stared up at Edelgard. “Can you imagine it? An eternity, wandering in a void…Only a mage of my caliber-“</p><p>The Flame Emperor released her grip on her enemy, and felt something inside her break. Solon continued to prattle on, but it didn’t matter. Byleth was gone. Lost and suffering, and there was nothing Edelgard could do. She felt that familiar numbness begin to consume her again. A feeling of hurt and betrayal welled up inside her. Her teacher had promised...</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard squinted in the dim light of the palace library, ignoring the discomfort shooting through her skull. After the terrible events of the past year, her perception of pain…was different. The Crest of Flames was not the only gift she had received from her time in Enbarr’s dungeons. Now a dull ache greeted the princess with the rising of the sun, and kept her awake when the rest of the world was slumbering.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was now just another harsh truth of the princess’ existence. There were so many facts she had been forced to accept: Her body would always hurt. She would never see her siblings again. Evil was not punished. All she could do was push forward, ignoring the pathetic pleas for justice in the back of her mind. No, she must move forward, because to stop would…Edelgard shook her head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Your posture will lead to another headache, Lady Edelgard.” The princess tried to focus her weary eyes, only to see Hubert looming above her. For such a gangly and awkward boy, he certainly knew how to remain silent. His hand reached out carefully and closed the book that lay in front of the princess. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You need not concern yourself with…” he looked down in surprise. “Theology texts?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yes.” The princess glared upward, daring her retainer to challenge her. “Simple research, nothing more.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Lady Edelgard, I must object to you filling your mind with such-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>You know, Hubert.” Edelgard continued, as if she had not heard his protests. “There are so many commands here…” She calmly gestured around the library, where ancient books stretched from floor to ceiling. “We must worship the Goddess…obey Her will…follow Her commands…so many conditions and expectations, all just to please Her.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert could sense the hidden emotion behind his liege’s laconic statement, but the boy was at a loss. For a moment, he remained silent, black eyes watching the princess warily. “A thousand apologies, Lady Edelgard, but I fail to…” he coughed into his hand. “I do not quite understand-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Where is the <strong>Goddess’</strong> responsibility?” spat the girl, control beginning to slip. “She gives Crests to some people…and not to others. Chooses who to bless, and who to cast out. Duke Aegir has a Crest…and he…he…” She trailed off, her gloved hands gripping the table with unfathomable force. The ancient wood warped and deformed, until it shattered with a loud crack. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The princess looked down in horror at the destruction she had created. Once, she had thought she was special, a chosen friend of Sothis. But this is what she truly was. What the Goddess had allowed her to become. A monster, full of hideous and terrible strength. She brushed a white bang of hair out of her line of sight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She let my family die, Hubert! She let Aggie and Max and everyone-!” The princess shot to her feet, body unable to contain the terrible poison that now filled her very being. “I…I hate Her…just as much as She hates me.” The whispered words hung in the air, as Edelgard lowered her head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert finally broke the painful silence. “What will you do?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“If I’m going to burn in the flames…” The princess looked up, full of an indomitable will. She gestured to the books behind her, filled with a millennia of broken promises. “Then all of these lies… they’ll burn right along with me.”</em>
</p><p>The Flame Emperor stared into the distance, only to hear Flayn’s voice, which was filled with an unsuitable rage.</p><p>“Our Professor is no ordinary human! She’s still alive!”</p><p>As Edelgard heard her fellow Black Eagles praise her teacher’s strength, she felt an awful bitterness seeping through her soul. That night in Remire, she had planned to make use of her teacher’s power. But now…all she wanted was her friend. Just as Byleth had seen beneath the Flame Emperor’s mask, Edelgard had glimpsed the true core of the Ashen Demon.</p><p>Byleth was kind, and gentle, and clumsy and sweet. She liked to feed cats, and sing songs in a horribly off-tune voice while planting her beloved lilies. She talked to everyone, quietly amazed that <em>anyone</em> wanted to be her friend. Her messy hair smelled like fish, and she had some of the worst table manners that Edelgard had ever seen.</p><p>Byleth Eisner may not have been an “ordinary human”, but she was the most human person that Edelgard von Hresvelg had ever met. And right now, Edelgard would not accept that her teacher had gone. That those blue eyes had disappeared forever from this world. Not the woman she loved.</p><p>No. She was not dead. The Goddess may have broken her promises, but Edelgard’s faith in Byleth was unshakable. How many times had the Black Eagles escaped certain death? How often had her teacher shielded and protected the princess? She <em>knew </em>that the unspoken threads that bound them together had not yet been cut. The Flame Emperor turned to Solon, who was still gloating.</p><p>“All your devious tricks and schemes…they mean nothing to our professor.” She stood, gently pushing away Dorothea’s comforting hand. She tried desperately to keep her voice calm. “There is nothing to grieve. Professor Byleth will return, and you will fail.”</p><p>Solon cackled. “Such arrogance. I would expect no less…” He raised his hand, and the clearing was filled with mages, soldiers, and countless Divine Beasts. “If you wish, you will join your precious Fell Star!”</p><p>Monica lost her temper, and threw a dagger at Solon’s head. The mage vanished in a flash of purple smoke, reappearing at the center of his forces. “Kill them all!” he screamed while clutching the stump that had once been his arm. With his remaining hand, he pointed at Monica with disdain. “Leave that one to me…I will teach her what true darkness is!”</p><p>Edelgard knew they were overmatched, but there was no other choice. Her mind desperately fell back to one of Byleth’s lectures, and the princess quickly commanded the Eagles to form a circle. The melee fighters would protect the mages and archers. They could not win. Not against a force this large. But they would make Solon and his men pay for every drop of blood.</p><p>Petra was on her right, and Monica on her left, and the Black Eagles cut down wave after wave of soldiers. Edelgard’s ax broke, so she switched to her sword. Monica had run out of weapons, and began to use her fists. It was not enough. A bolt of lightning flew overhead, and struck Ingrid in the chest, sending her falling to earth with a sickening thud. A blow from a Divine Beast sent Marianne and Bernadetta flying. Edelgard desperately threw her last handax at Solon, which he deflected with indifference.</p><p>“So this is how it is…” A massive ball of dark energy appeared above his head. “I cannot allow you to live!” Edelgard closed her eyes, bracing for the inevitable impact…</p><p>But it never came. Instead, Edelgard could hear the screams-not of her classmates, but of Solon and his men. The girl opened her eyes, and even the hardened princess could only stare in awe.</p><p>Arrows of light had appeared in the sky and were now raining down upon the enemy force. There were hundreds of them, glowing with a strange energy and radiance as they decimated the Agarthians. The heavenly weapons pierced through the armor and scales as if they were paper, and the terrified enemy soldiers pushed past each other in a desperate bid to escape. None were spared.</p><p>As Edelgard watched three arrows drive through Solon, pinning him to the ground, she heard Sylvain’s voice, full of disbelief. “Everyone…look at the sky!”</p><p>Words could not capture what the Black Eagles were witnessing. A tear had formed in the heavens themselves, and now the very air was rippling, as if something was hidden underneath. Edelgard had seen many strange and terrible things in her life, but she had never felt quite as insignificant as in that moment. The little girl trapped within could only remember the stories of the judgment of Sothis…how Her javelins of light had destroyed the wicked.</p><p>With a tremendous crack, the heavens split in two, and a figure emerged, familiar sword in hand. Edelgard should have felt relief. Immeasurable joy that the woman she loved had returned. But what the Flame Emperor saw chilled her to the core.</p><p>Byleth slowly floated down to the battlefield, her feet gently touching the ancient stone. Petra reached out to touch the professor, but Byleth’s gaze remained fixed on Solon, her expression unchanging.</p><p>Solon could barely lift his head, but began to laugh bitterly. “Emotions like fear…they have no place…inside me” Byleth did not respond, and slowly raised the Sword of the Creator. “But when I look at you, Fell Star…I am terrified.”</p><p>The Ashen Demon's weapon removed the mage’s head in a single brutal swing, and his body collapsed to the ground. For a moment, there was only silence. She sheathed her sword, but kept her back to the Black Eagles.</p><p>“…Um…Professor…?” Bernadetta’s voice was quiet and hesitant, yet in this dead forest, surrounded by the broken bodies of Solon’s army, it drew the attention of every Eagle. “Are…are you okay?”</p><p>“I am fine.”</p><p>It was not the voice of the teacher the Black Eagles knew. It was something new, something different and strange. That voice was not human. It was as if all the life and warmth had been taken from Byleth Eisner. She turned, and as Edelgard looked into the eyes of the woman she loved, she did not recognize her at all.</p><p>Once, El had watched as the Goddess had allowed evil men to take away everyone and everything she cared for. She had begged and pleaded for help, or even a reason why…but there was no answer. It had crumbled the foundations of Edelgard’s very existence, until the girl was gone, and only the emperor was left.</p><p>There was only one woman who had seen through that mask of fire. Byleth’s blue eyes were a promise, and for a precious moment, the princess had believed in a wonderful, terrible lie-that Edelgard von Hresvelg was beautiful. That the empty shell that had crawled out of Enbarr’s dungeons was not just a ruined, withered flower.</p><p>After so much loss, there was a quiet, desperate part of the Flame Emperor that had dared to hope she had found a new family…a place where she belonged. But fate had a different plan. Now, after so many years, she had her answer. All the terrible whispers that endlessly haunted her were true-she could never be loved.</p><p>Not by the Goddess, and not by Byleth Eisner.</p><p>It was as clear as the green in her teacher’s eyes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-I'm going to talk about this more next chapter, but the Black Eagle routes-Silver Snow and Crimson Flower-are really all about the choice that Byleth makes in the Holy Tomb. In many ways, it's really what the core story of Three Houses is about. Look at the soundtrack titles-"Between Heaven and Earth," "Tearing through Heaven." "Something to Believe In" and so on. </p><p>-If you're wondering about why Byleth seems so cold-I'm actually pulling from some monastery dialogue from Dorothea and a few other characters, such as the Ashen Wolves. After this mission, Dorothea is very worried about Byleth, and says that they're acting different, and their head is "in the clouds." It's something I thought gave an interesting angle-the idea that Byleth *acts* different following the hair change. Edelgard, unsurprisingly, will not handle it well.</p><p>-I'd like to give a big thank you to everyone reading this. When I started this story, I never expected the response it has gotten-to see things like fan-art and a TVTropes page is rather incredible, and I'm so grateful to all of you! Please keep safe in these challenging times, and I'll see you next chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. The Blessing of the Goddess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Edelgard trudged through the deserted halls of the palace, mind, spirit, and body all spent. After a day reviewing military strategies and the finer details of troop movement, she had spent the evening meticulously practicing her ax strikes. Despite the bruised and battered soldiers that had been left in her wake, she remained unsatisfied. Even the way she held a sword…it was different. Wrong. Everything felt so… so light, and fragile. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She must master this power, control it so that she could never be controlled. Edelgard could never have imagined this would be her life. She had loved to draw, and read, and dance. Now, the girl broke men in the training yard. Shattered bones and shields with her new, appalling might. The princess planned for war, while other children planned the dresses they would wear to the next ball.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Every moment that her limbs ached, or her heart momentarily wavered, she thought of her siblings. So many moments, large and small, had been stolen-quiet walks in the castle gardens, private jokes and joyful meals. The web of loss expanded outward…there were passionate romances that would never be. Children that would never exist. All gone, because of this unfathomable greed and cruelty.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The dawn would never again shine upon the Hresvelgs, or so many others that the Goddess had cast out. From the commoners left to toil in misery, to the children abandoned by a silent deity’s whims, the misfits and rejects of this continent had no one. If she did not speak for them, with ax and crown, no one else would.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard knew and accepted that she had died with her siblings. That the terrible emptiness inside her would never go away. She had nothing to live for-love and friendship had been exposed as children’s stories, ludicrous and false. She marched forward with her goals, accepted the brutal calculus of sacrifice and compromise. The young princess was cold and stern and commanding, and all feared and respected her iron will.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Still…sometimes, when the nights grew especially black, and the void inside Edelgard seemed to swallow everything she once was, she wept. Shameful, silent tears into her pillow, that destiny had chosen her as its plaything. All she wanted was to go back, to look in the mirror and see brown hair, and not white. To believe in the innocent and silly dreams of true love that had once inflamed her heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As she collapsed into the bed in her private wing of the palace, she felt a strange lump under her down comforter. Even in the depths of exhaustion, the princess was unable to tolerate the disturbance. Annoyed, she pulled out a large, bulky jar, filled to the brim with a dark liquid. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I apologize for my carelessness, Lady Edelgard.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert stepped forward from a darkened corner of the room. The tired mind of the princess could only reflect for a moment on how long her gangly retainer had been waiting for her, before curiosity outweighed her fatigue.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hubert. What is this?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why were her words so cold? Long ago, she had known how to talk to Hubert as a friend, but all of her kindness had been hidden away…forgotten like a half-remembered melody. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A beam of evening light fell upon Hubert’s left eye, causing the boy to step forward awkwardly. “It is a…concoction I acquired, one that your humble servant hopes will-“ He paused and placed his hands behind his back. “The color was very difficult to get right, you see.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard raised an eyebrow, but did not speak.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It is a dye.” Hubert took the bottle from his liege’s hand, and looked at it fondly. “For your hair. As natural a brown as you once-“ He was unwilling to say more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The girl stared at the object, and then at her retainer’s hopeful expression. “As much as I wish otherwise, I am not that girl anymore, Hubert.” She placed the gift next to the purple tassels that her sister had once tied into El’s hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard had never seen her retainer so agitated. He began to pace. “You know that I support your goals. Without hesitation. But even you deserve a small-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“They all deserved more, Hubert. My siblings. The commoners. Father. You.” Edelgard shook her head. “When my hair changed from…from brown to white. I came to a realization.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hubert’s expression remained unaltered, but his eyes were filled with pain. Even the dark prince of the House of Vestra could not endure the loss of the girl he had once known. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“This white hair shows who I am, and what the Goddess considers me to be.” Despite the ache in her body, Edelgard shot to her feet. “I fight for the people of this continent. So that all may forge their fates with their own hands, standing on their own…without a need for gods.” She placed her hands on Hubert’s shoulders. “Whatever I may wish for myself…that is my destiny.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>There was a comfortable routine when the Black Eagles marched. Linhardt could always be found straggling at the back of the group. Dorothea would hold court in the center, the heart of the house. And most noticeably of all, Edelgard and Byleth could always be found leading the Black Eagles, expressions of quiet contentment on their faces.</p><p>Words were unnecessary; every so often, Edelgard and Byleth’s eyes would meet, and their firm bearing would be replaced by a private tenderness. It was a secret part of themselves, a precious bud that they safeguarded warily. A cruel world had obscured the best parts of these women, the gentle sweetness that lay at their core. But in the safety of each other’s presence, it could no longer remain concealed.</p><p>Today, the gulf between student and teacher had become an impassible canyon. Byleth marched alone, head never turning back toward her students. No one knew what to say-Byleth’s hair and eyes were now the same color as the Archbishop. The only Eagle who appeared happy about this development was Flayn. The girl followed the Ashen Demon like a puppy, hand occasionally stroking her own green hair.</p><p>The proud leader of the Black Eagles could be found in the back of the group, gaze focused on her black boots. This final rejection had proved too much for Edelgard’s battered heart, and a tempest of agitation was hidden behind her emotionless stare.</p><p>To be spurned by the Goddess was a pain beyond imagining-to know that even Sothis, who loved all the people of the world, did not love you. For many years, Edelgard had hidden the raw hurt of this rejection under cold logic-it was easier to pretend that the Goddess did not exist at all.</p><p>That rationality was gone, replaced with a pain that gnawed away at Edelgard’s insides. It was the cry of a child, hurt for reasons that it could not even comprehend. A thousand unanswerable questions danced in her mind. <em>Why didn’t You save me? What did I do wrong? Why did You even make me?</em></p><p>Finally, she could no longer contain the nervous energy she felt. The princess pushed to the front of the group, past a concerned Sylvain and a subdued Monica. Ignoring the doubt and anxiety that threatened to drown Edelgard’s rational thoughts, she gently grabbed Byleth’s shoulder. Her teacher turned, expression unchanging.</p><p>“My teacher.” Edelgard tried to find the words. “Our class is exhausted from the battle today. Would it not be better to make camp for the night, before returning to Garreg Mach in the morning?”</p><p>Byleth stared at Edelgard for what seemed an eternity. “Yes…I am tired as well. We will stop.”</p><p>The mercenary’s eyes returned to the sky, peering at something invisible that Edelgard could not perceive. She belonged to a different world now, one from which the Flame Emperor had forever been separated. Edelgard waited a moment more for her Byleth to reappear, before turning to the class.</p><p>“Black Eagles. We will camp here tonight!”</p><p>Edelgard marched away, unable to look at that terrible green a moment longer, or to contemplate further on what the Goddess had stolen from her. She made her way to the convoy, and grabbed a woodcutter’s ax to procure lumber for the camp, when she felt a gloved hand on her shoulder.</p><p>“Lady Edelgard.” Hubert’s voice was gentle and soft, a piece of her retainer that only the princess heard. He was trying so hard not to hurt her. She could not bear to meet his eyes. “As much as it pains me, we must begin to plan…this development will need to be addressed.“</p><p>“I’ll talk to her.” Edelgard’s voice was as cold and unflinching as the steel of her ax. “It will give us an idea of how grave the situation has become. Perhaps Professor Byleth can still be-“</p><p>His hand gripped her shoulder. “I will not speak down to you. I know you have sensed it as well-a second self, lurking beneath the surface of that woman. Something with desires different then her own.” Only Edelgard, who knew Hubert so very well, could see how deeply wounded he was. “I must admit a fondness for the Professor, but…” He waved his hand.</p><p>“But what, Hubert? You did not abandon me when…when I changed.“</p><p>Hubert grabbed Edelgard’s arm and pulled her into the trees. In all her years of intimacy, he had <em>never </em>moved the princess without her permission. She allowed him to guide her, too stunned by this outburst to react further. Hubert looked around warily.</p><p>“I have never told you this, but I feel this situation has made it a necessity.” He placed his arms behind his back, a sure sign that he was agitated. “When you were…” He scowled. “…Imprisoned. I attempted everything in my power to ascertain your location. After all, my honor as a Vestra depended upon your safety.” He began to pace back and forth, focused on the forest floor. “Did my father not make me <em>promise</em> to protect you? To guard you with my life?!”</p><p>“Hubert…”</p><p>“Each time my father discovered my actions, he would beat me. A pathetic attempt to dissuade me from my mission.” His hands balled into fists. “Until one day, he grabbed me by the collar, and took me into the Imperial dungeons.”</p><p>Edelgard felt a chill rising up her spine. “I-I never saw you.”</p><p>“You were comatose. Chained to a wall, covered in untreated sores and wounds, and weak from exhaustion and hunger.” What little color was in Hubert’s face had left it. “I will never forget that day. I tried to free you, but my father-“ The normally reserved mage conjured a spell, and blasted a nearby shrub. As he stared at the withered plant, his shoulders rose and fell rapidly.</p><p>“Hubert…I believe your father was trying to protect you.” Edelgard remembered Count Bergliez’s own words, and the terrible power that Arundel and Duke Aegir held. “He was showing you what would happen if he had resisted.”</p><p>Hubert finally reestablished his poise. “Professor Hanneman expressed similar thoughts.” The young man spat the words out with an almost immeasurable malevolence. “It does not matter. Either my father is a coward or a fiend. Or perhaps he is both.”</p><p>Edelgard walked forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm her friend. “It was <strong>not</strong> your fault, Hubert. There was nothing you could have done.”</p><p>The young man did not react, but inside his jet-black irises, there was a look of utter shame. He straightened his posture and took a deep breath. There was only silence in the forest, before he finally spoke.</p><p>“The day we met, you smiled at me and asked me to play with you. I was raised with poison and dagger, to walk a scarlet path. And yet…you wanted to be my-“ He trailed off, unable to state the words. “Every time I look at your hair, I am reminded of how deeply I failed that girl.” He paused and coughed. “I made two promises to myself that day. The first was that if anyone dared to hurt you, ever again, I would either eliminate them, or die in the attempt. If Professor Byleth threatens-”</p><p>“Our teacher is not a threat. She is my-she is <em>our </em>friend. She did not choose this.” Edelgard pleaded both with Hubert and with her own fears and doubts. “I will talk to her. I must believe she still can be convinced.”</p><p>“All well and good. Assuming, of course, she still <em>is </em>the Professor.”</p><p>Hubert shook his head, gave his liege a deep bow and began to walk out of the clearing. His black hair seemed to blend into the darkness of the forest. All Edelgard could think of was the kind, sensitive boy she had once known. Just like Professor Byleth, he had transformed. The princess ran after him, and raised her arm.</p><p>“Hubert…what was the other promise that you made?”<br/>
<br/>
Her retainer turned, and gave the object of his complete devotion a mournful smile. For a moment, all his composure collapsed, and Edelgard could see the lonely child he kept so carefully hidden. He placed a gloved hand on his head and laughed, as only Hubert could-a grim chuckle that seemed to melt into the gloomy forest air.</p><p>“That someday, I would kill my father for what he did to you.”<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>There was an unspoken anxiety around the campfire that evening. Petra prepared the small game she had caught, occasionally exchanging worried glances with Dorothea. The diva, for her part, attempted to maintain a faltering conversation. No one discussed the celestial event they had just witnessed. Words seemed…inadequate.</p><p>“I am sure that the Archbishop will be exhilarated to see your new appearance!” The awkward verbosity of Flayn’s speech seemed especially intolerable to Edelgard this evening. After her rescue, Flayn and Seteth had become close to Byleth, and the strange new commonality between them clearly filled the girl with glee.</p><p>Byleth did not respond, and stared at her bowl of stew.</p><p>“Flayn, Professor Byleth may require time to adjust.” Lysithea tried to avoid Edelgard’s eyes, as the mage stroked her own snow-white hair. “A change like this…is difficult.”</p><p>“Let’s talk about something else!” Caspar slammed his bowl down excitedly, splashing an annoyed Kronya. The Agarthian had tried to find a seat away from the group, only for Caspar to sit down beside her, and pester her with endless questions. “How’d you wipe out those bad guys, Professor? With those cool arrow things? Can you teach me?”</p><p>For what seemed an eternity, Byleth was silent, and only the hiss and crackle of the campfire could be heard. Finally, the words came out in an emotionless monotone.</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>Petra buried her dagger in the log next to her, deeply unsettled, while Bernadetta began to tremble. Edelgard tried desperately to avoid looking at Hubert. The tension seemed to suck the very air from the campsite.</p><p>Finally, Marianne spoke up, voice faltering. “That was like the stories I’ve…I’ve read…about the Goddess’ judgement…” She looked at Ferdinand, desperate for reassurance, but the young noble was watching the chaotic orange dance of the fire.</p><p>“There are legends…” Linhardt began to speak, his eyes remaining closed. It caused Lysithea to jump with a start. “About how the Goddess destroyed evildoers with…oh, what’s the word? ’Javelins of light.’ Rather fascinating, I must-“ He stopped, as Lysithea ground her heel into his toe.</p><p>“It’s worse than that.” Monica spoke, voice full of fear and trepidation. All the Eagles turned in shock. “There’s…an old legend, passed down. About how after the javelins of light…comes the great flood.” The girl began to visibly tremble. “It says that the waters of despair will drown this world, and all the humans in it.”</p><p>Byleth stood, and without another word, walked away from the campfire, into the nearby woods. Flayn, who had been glaring at Monica, shot to her feet. “Where have you heard such…such rubbish! That is-“</p><p>Edelgard used the distraction to chase after Byleth, allowing Ingrid and Dorothea to try to return calm to the Black Eagles. As the princess walked away from the light of the campfire, she could faintly see the dim, emerald glow of her teacher’s hair. For minutes, all the Flame Emperor could do was follow the unearthly green, deeper and deeper into the forest.</p><p>Finally, Byleth walked into a larger clearing, and sat down on a large boulder. As the moonlight shone down upon her, she stared up at the sky, back still turned to Edelgard. The atmosphere was unearthly, and the princess could feel a chilling sensation on her skin.</p><p>For minutes, she watched her professor look for something veiled from mortal sight. Something indescribable, that a mere human like Edelgard could not see. She had only felt that beauty and awe once before in her life-when her uncle had shown her the ancient church of Saint Seiros. The Flame Emperor did not feel worthy to interrupt, and so she watched from the shadows. Once again, she was cast out of the heavens, and left in the dark.</p><p>“Edelgard.” The words startled the princess, causing her to jump with fright. How had her teacher seen her? Byleth’s back had remained turned, and yet somehow… The Flame Emperor shook her head, trying to swallow as she walked toward her friend.</p><p>“May I sit?” The princess gestured to the space next to Byleth with a gloved hand. Byleth nodded, and the princess sat, arms neatly folded, with her usual impeccable poise-as if she were holding court back in Enbarr.</p><p>Time passed, but Edelgard could not say how long, nor did she care. Past memories flickered in front of her eyes-of flinching each time she saw a flash of white in the mirror, or the indescribable sensation of being an intruder in her own body. She had been so alone. Soon, she would lose Byleth forever-she knew that now. But if she could help her teacher, just for a moment, the choice was simple.</p><p>Byleth’s return had brought so much joy to the Flame Emperor’s heart. But that relief had been poisoned, tainted by the evil little voice in her mind. <em>Where was <strong>my </strong>miracle? </em>A shameful, hidden part of the princess was angered by the inequity of her teacher’s return. That the woman she loved had been saved, when so many had not.</p><p>It made Edelgard hate herself all the more.</p><p>“Is everyone all right?” The Ashen Demon lowered her head slightly. Under the light of the moon, she resembled the statues that dotted Garreg Mach Cathedral. Pale skin and an eerie, luminous beauty. The princess wanted to grab her and kiss her and hold her in her arms-steal this radiance, this forbidden treasure for herself.</p><p>Instead, Edelgard nodded, desperately searching for a way to express the thousands of contradictory thoughts and feelings that flickered through her soul. The bizarre intermingling of relief and despair and love and revulsion. Finally, she settled on a simple statement: “That hair, and those eyes…you remind me of someone else…”</p><p>Byleth closed her new emerald eyes and sighed, but did not respond.</p><p>“What happened to you, my teacher?”</p><p>“The Goddess gave me Her power.” Byleth stared up at the azure moon, arms curled around herself. “She saved me.” She still refused to look at Edelgard. Her face remained as cold and as unfeeling as a sculpture, yet behind her unfamiliar green eyes, there was a look of immense loss and pain.</p><p>Edelgard would have done anything for such a simple moment of grace. To hear the Goddess’ voice just once, while deep in the agony of despair. The girl who wept had died long ago, but this new rejection shook the princess to her core.</p><p>The Flame Emperor knew that a kinder person would have responded with compassion and understanding. Listened quietly, focusing on what her teacher needed at that moment. But all she could see was that terrible, awful green. Confirming what Edelgard had known in her heart all along-that the scars that marred the Flame Emperor’s body were a mirror to the ugliness inside.</p><p>“Oh, did She now?!” The princess spat the words out, as the pain underneath bubbled over. Filled with shame at her outburst, she stood, and began to walk without meaning or purpose. There was no scheming, no plan-just a lost little girl filled with hurt, lashing out at the one person who did not deserve it.</p><p>“Wonderful! That, <em>and</em> the Sword of the Creator-“ She tried to take a breath to collect herself, but no relief came. “You must truly be loved by the Goddess.”</p><p>“I don’t know what to do.” Byleth shook her head. “I don’t know what’s happened to me, Edelgard. It reminds me of when I was young, and Papa tried to teach me to swim. He just…threw me in the water.” She smiled, and her angelic face was creased with smile lines. The small, human imperfection made her look even more beautiful.</p><p>Despite the agony of the moment, Edelgard let out a snort. “That sounds like Jeralt.”</p><p>“I remember the river pulling me along…the current taking me somewhere I wasn’t sure I wanted to go.” Byleth rested her forehead on her hands, and closed her eyes. “That’s how I feel right now. It’s overwhelming me. Like this is something I’ve done many times before, and was always meant to do.”</p><p>There was a terrible silence, and a creeping dread filled the princess’ heart. That awful inevitability that they could not escape. The Goddess did not care about Edelgard’s love of silly impressions, or Byleth’s fondness for cats, or how deeply and completely these two women needed one another.</p><p>They were trapped in a grand destiny- the reborn myth of Saint Seiros and Nemesis, swallowing everything that Edelgard and Byleth were. A white-haired rebel, allied with monsters against the green-eyed daughter of the Goddess. For a moment, she could almost see her teacher’s blade coming down, the inevitable end of the path Sothis had laid for them.</p><p>“Just like Saint Seiros, you have been gifted a tremendous power. A blessing from the Goddess.” El hung her head, as she remembered her pathetic, weak pleas to the Saint whose Crest she bore. She gently placed her hand on her teacher’s back. “This world is one where the mark of the Goddess determines a person’s worth.”</p><p>Byleth remained silent.</p><p>“I wonder, my teacher, what you will use that tremendous power for? For the Church…or will you use it for the people of this world? For all the poor souls to whom the Goddess does not deign to respond?”</p><p>Edelgard felt long-repressed memories flicker in her vision, felt the cut of the knife and the pangs of hunger. The terrible despair that swallowed all that had once been good in her life, and had ripped away her family, her faith, and her hope.</p><p>Byleth closed her eyes, lost in thought. “When I was in that darkness…I knew that I needed to return. Because my students needed me. And I needed my students.” She put a hand to her chin. “I talked to Sothis about everything…and now I can’t. I’ve never had a mother but…” The Ashen Demon covered her face with her hands. “Everything’s so different now-I can feel so much, but everything’s so…so quiet. ”</p><p>The Flame Emperor could only watch, helpless, unable to understand the agony her teacher was experiencing.</p><p>After minutes of silence, Byleth raised her head. “I won’t fight for the people, or the Church. I’m going to fight for my students.”</p><p>Edelgard’s mind went numb. “You…you’d fight for your students? You’d fight for <em>us</em>?” She could not comprehend such simple bonds of friendship and faith. A quiet strength that seemed even stronger than the Goddess’ power. How could she bear to lose this woman? How could she carry on?</p><p>She was so distracted, she almost failed to notice her teacher’s hand firmly gripping her own.</p><p>“I need you.” Byleth gently touched the Flame Emperor’s cheek, forcing the princess to look at her. The coldness of her teacher’s hands felt so strange against the warmth of Edelgard’s blushing face. “You are the only person who ever told me…that it was my decision.”</p><p>The Ashen Demon reached down and plucked a small flower from the forest floor. Battle-scarred hands gently offered the gift to the princess. Edelgard gingerly accepted the present, and allowed herself a small smile.</p><p>“It’s lovely, my teacher. Thank you.”</p><p>“Wild flowers …they remind me of you.” For a moment, her old teacher miraculously returned. “They grow anywhere, even when the conditions are harsh…You’ve been so kind to me, when the world has been nothing but cruel to you.”</p><p>“I have done nothing of the sort.” Edelgard hung her head. “I do not deserve your praise.”</p><p>“Yes, you do. But that’s why…” Byleth looked up at the stars. “I’m not good with words, Edelgard. Especially now…” She ran calloused fingers through her ethereal green hair, and laid her head on her student’s shoulder. The princess shivered at the feeling of Byleth’s head gently resting on her. “But I feel like…like you’re my flower. That you deserve someone to help you grow. That we should grow together.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor felt a strange dampness in the corner of her eyes, before the words began to tumble out of her. She gripped the flower in her hand tightly, staring ahead. “My teacher…if your students fought…if the world split in two…” She ignored the pleas from her logical pragmatic mind, which for so long had controlled the Princess of Adrestia, and instead spoke with her heart. “What would you do? Who would you-“</p><p>Edelgard was interrupted by a quiet murmur, and turned her head gently. The Ashen Demon was sleeping. Her face peaceful and calm, showing neither care nor worry. “I wonder if your change in appearance is the cause, my teacher.” She reached out, and gently caressed Byleth’s hair. Edelgard had loved that blue so deeply…and now her teacher was marked. Claimed forever by the Goddess as one of her own.</p><p>After minutes had passed, she gently shook the mercenary. “My teacher…” she whispered. “We must return…the Black Eagles will-“</p><p>Byleth, the blessed child of the Goddess, let out a long and undignified snore.</p><p>The Flame Emperor quietly watched the Ashen Demon rest. If it were up to her, she would never leave this clearing. Never let Byleth go-but even now, the princess could feel the tides of time and fate pushing them apart. Edelgard gently cradled the woman she loved in her arms, and together, they walked out of the forest, and toward their destiny.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the Eagles returned to Garreg Mach, the morning sun had just begun to peek out from behind the looming spires. Byleth had still not awakened, and had spent the rest of the journey resting on Edelgard’s back. The Flame Emperor had felt the heat and the breath from her teacher against her neck, a comfort against the chilly morning air. The two rode on Ingrid’s pegasus, after the knight had refused to accept any other answer from the Adrestian princess.</p><p>“I insist. After all, you got her back.” Ingrid had said with a bittersweet smile. “Not everyone gets that opportunity.” She had not spoken another word, but had instead run off to yell at Linhardt and Caspar for lollygagging with the tents.</p><p>As they passed through the front gates, she could see soldiers and monks gazing in wonder at Byleth’s new green hair. The Flame Emperor kept her eyes focused in front of her, staring at the woman who stood on the stone steps of the marketplace.</p><p>As the convoy came to a stop, Rhea rushed down the stairs, showing none of her usual saintly dignity. She pushed past Caspar and Ferdinand, and with a shockingly strong arm, thrust Edelgard out of the way.</p><p>“Is it true?” The Archbishop questioned the Black Eagle house leader, eyes never leaving Byleth. “Was she truly blessed by the Goddess?” She held the green hair aloft, as if it were finely spun gold. Her next words fell to a whisper, one that Edelgard could barely hear. “I could never have dreamed…”</p><p>“She needs to visit the infirmary.” Edelgard glared daggers at the Archbishop. “She’s been under a tremendous strain, and must be allowed to recover.”</p><p>Rhea smiled that artificially sweet smile at the Flame Emperor. “Byleth has received the greatest of blessings. She has become enlightened, emptying herself to receive the Goddess’ grace. This is a moment of great joy.” She looked up at the sky, face full of relief. “I shall watch over her, while she recovers.”</p><p>“Archbishop,” Edelgard’s voice lowered to a growl as she inserted herself between Rhea and the Ashen Demon. “Regardless of the Goddess’ grace, Professor Byleth <em>needs</em> medical care. Professor Manuela-“</p><p>“Are you questioning the Goddess’ will, <em>child</em>?”</p><p>“I-“ The Flame Emperor’s rage threatened to boil over, before she felt Sylvain’s hand on her shoulder. He gave her a significant look, and shook his head.</p><p>As she surrendered Byleth to Flayn, Seteth, and Rhea, Edelgard felt her spirit shatter in despair. Byleth was where she belonged-a grand destiny as the favored child of the Goddess. Her teacher had searched for a purpose for so long-a reason for being. How could the Flame Emperor take that away from her? Selfishly pull Byleth into the pit that Edelgard had been cast into long ago?</p><p>The Black Eagles were left alone, exhausted and filled with concern for their teacher.</p><p>“Edelgard.” Marianne’s voice was barely audible amid the noise of the marketplace. “Are…are you all right?”</p><p>The question was kindling on an open flame. “Why did <em>you</em> stop me!” Edelgard marched toward Sylvain, full of fury. “How could you let them take her?”</p><p>Sylvain shook his head, full of an unusual earnestness. “I’ve seen that look in the Archbishop’s eyes when she tried to take back the Lance of Ruin. She wasn’t going accept no for an answer.” His face darkened, and his voice filled with hate. “And since the Goddess evidently has nothing better to do than play games with our lives…”</p><p>As he looked down at the Lance of Ruin, the divine weapon that had swallowed his brother alive, Sylvain shook his head. “I didn’t really believe in the Goddess until yesterday. I’d do the whole pious noble nonsense, but the whole thing seemed pretty stupid, to be honest.” He grinned at Marianne apologetically. “Sorry, Mari.”</p><p>“But this…” He looked up at the sky. “What the hell was that? She just saves Professor Byleth, just like…?” He snapped his fingers. “How many of us-“ The words failed him.</p><p>“I-I don’t know.” Dorothea was desperately trying to hold back tears. “To know that every time I was begging on the streets, that this…this Goddess…” She threw her hands in the air. “Was watching?! That each time I went to bed without food…She…She just didn’t care?!”</p><p>Marianne and Ingrid looked at each other, stoic expressions betrayed by the anxiety in their body language. Unwilling to confront their own losses, they busied themselves calming their horses. Bernadetta huddled next to Hubert, while Ferdinand and Petra quietly listened. Lysithea stomped off, causing Linhardt to give chase.</p><p>“We gotta just…just move on!” Caspar shook his head. “No use worrying about it now. And we got Professor Byleth back!” He gave the rest of the distraught Black Eagles a beaming smile.</p><p>“Oh, shut up, you utter idiot.” Monica scowled at him. “You really think that’s still your…our teacher?” She stared at the great looming shadow of Garreg Mach Cathedral with immense pain. “Edel and Sylvain are right. She’s with her people now…why do you think <em>we</em> got left out here in the cold?”</p><p>None of the Black Eagles could come up with an answer.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When anxiety threatened to drown the Flame Emperor, she would quietly walk the ancient cobblestones of Garreg Mach. As the future seemed to close around her, the fresh open air and the regular rhythm of her footsteps seemed to momentarily push it all aside.</p><p>She could not bear to return to her room, nor could stand to be around the Lions or the Deer-Claude’s incessant questioning or Dimitri’s infuriating naiveté.  As she allowed active feet and a distracted mind to guide her, she found herself at the railing overlooking the graveyard.</p><p>As she stared down at Jeralt’s grave, she reflected back on the promises she had made to him-to protect Byleth and to keep her safe. It had been yet another lie, yet another example of Edelgard’s wishes and hopes exceeding her grasp. How many times had she failed her teacher?</p><p>For all her meaningless prattle about fighting destiny and forging fate, where had the Flame Emperor’s actions brought her? All she had done was push Byleth further into Rhea’s arms. Perhaps she should abandon her childish dreams and-</p><p>The silence of the graveyard was disturbed by a quiet sob. Edelgard’s attention was drawn downward, only to see Lysithea curled against the wall. Her shoulders shook, and delicate hands covered her face.</p><p>Edelgard was at a loss. She was not a person accustomed to receiving or providing comfort, and even her interactions with her classmates were always suffused with no small amount of awkwardness. She did not have Marianne’s gentleness, or Petra’s courage, or Dorothea’s wit…</p><p>What would her siblings have done? How would Aggie have handled this? Edelgard sighed. She would never know. It would have to be enough. Poor Lysithea had no one else.</p><p>She slowly walked down the steps to the graveyard, and gently knelt before the mage. So often, Count Ordelia’s daughter carried herself with an almost violent determination. Even the princess sometimes forgot how terribly young the girl was. The awful burdens she had been forced to shoulder. It was impossible to ignore her youth today-not when Lysithea’s pink eyes were so deeply consumed with distress.</p><p>“Today has been a rather…taxing day.” Edelgard regreted the awkward formality of her words even as they left her mouth. She reached out a gloved hand. “It would not do for you to catch a cold from being outdoors.”</p><p>Lysithea looked up, rubbing her eyes furiously to hide the tears that had so recently fallen from them. “I am fine! Linhardt insists upon following me around everywhere!” Her pale white cheeks turned the color of a rose. “He probably just wants to hassle me more about my Crests.”</p><p>Edelgard smiled. “I believe today, he was simply worried about you. As am I.” She began to gently rub Lysithea’s shoulder, just as her sisters had once done for her. “In my room…I have some tea cakes from Enbarr. I would be honored if you would join me for-“ The princess trailed off gracelessly, only for Lysithea to grab her tightly.</p><p>“Yes. Please.”</p><p>As she opened the door to her sparsely decorated dormitory, Edelgard panicked. She remembered her recent correspondence-after so many months of secret negotiations, she had received a two-word letter bearing the family insignia of House Bergliez:<em> We’re ready</em>.</p><p>Edelgard shoved the evidence of her future coup hastily into her desk drawer, before bringing back a plate of incredibly sweet tea cakes. Lysithea eyed them hungrily, grabbing two of the treats before Edelgard had even set the tray down. The princess leaned back, took a sip of her tea, and waited.</p><p>“I must apologize.” Lysithea muttered with a frown. “Seeing me react in such a childish way to today’s events…you must be…”</p><p>“That you are not a husk on the ground, insensate, speaks to the strength of your character and will. In fact, you are one of the most talented and gifted individuals I have ever met.” Edelgard leaned toward the girl. “I will never be anything but proud of you, Lysithea-both that you are my classmate, and that you are my friend.”</p><p>Lysithea stared at the princess for a moment, trying and failing to comprehend her statement. To hear someone recognize the quiet bravery in each everyday act of living. Finally, all her false bravado and confidence shattered into a thousand tiny pieces, and she lost control completely.</p><p>“It’s just…” She sobbed, through a torrent of tears. “Seeing Professor Byleth…and her hair…it made me think back to…to when I…” Years of pent-up frustration and sadness and rage were unleashed in front of the one person who could possibly understand.</p><p>They sat silently, Edelgard’s gloved hand gripping her young friend's wrist firmly. Eventually, the Flame Emperor found the courage to speak.</p><p>“I need you to promise me something, Lysithea.”</p><p>The mage turned her swollen, reddened eyes to Edelgard.</p><p>“I believe you and I are the only two people who have an inkling of Professor Byleth’s emotions right now.” Edelgard shook her head. “She hasn’t even seen a mirror yet…” The Princess of Adrestia stood, and looked out the window, worried that Lysithea’s face would cause her resolve to falter. “I need you to take care of our teacher.”</p><p>“What…what do you mean?” Some of Lysithea’s characteristic pugnacity returned, her voice demanding answers. “Why can’t you-“</p><p>“There may come a time…” Edelgard interrupted, still refusing to turn around. “When I can no longer stand alongside you or Professor Byleth. A day when the currents of fate drive us apart. If that day comes, I trust that you will…watch out for one another, in my stead.” She felt a hitch in her breathing. “And that you both will know how badly I care…”</p><p>“Edelgard.” It was Lysithea’s turn to be strong. To sense the pain and sorrow that now threatened to overwhelm the Flame Emperor. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>She could almost hear Hubert’s voice: <em>You must keep silent, Lady Edelgard!</em> She ignored the opinion of her imaginary retainer. “I am…taking back the Empire. This month, by force.” Lysithea’s eyes widened, but she remained silent. “It will be the prelude to a great amount of darkness. Darkness that may…drive us apart.”</p><p>Lysithea shook her head. “Never. I know you and your goals. To eliminate Crests and create a world where people like us are no longer victimized. I want you to bring that world into being.” She stood, body filled with righteous anger. “Professor Byleth knows it too.”</p><p>“Ideals are tricky things…” The Flame Emperor gave a wan smile. “and the gulf between noble intentions and harsh reality has swallowed many rulers. And with the Professor’s…changes…”</p><p>“Then show her.” Lysithea slammed her fist on the table. “When you do this…this takeover. Bring Professor Byleth along. Show her the person I know you to be.”</p><p>Edelgard felt a smile cross her face. For untold generations, each ruler of Adrestia had been crowned by a representative of the Church of Serios. It established from where the Emperor’s power sprung-the divine authority of the Goddess of Fódlan. It was a symbol of the ancient bond between Saint Seiros and Edelgard’s ancestors.</p><p>The princess would not bend her knee to the liars who had kept the continent in bondage. She answered to the people-not to the whims of gods. But there was one woman who had chased the darkness away. Who had believed in Edelgard’s goodness at every moment.</p><p>The only thing that mattered, in the end, was that Byleth would not hate her. If this was to be their final moments together…if the Goddess would soon rip away the light from Edelgard von Hresvelg’s life… then for just this once, the Flame Emperor would be selfish. She would follow her heart, no matter the consequences.</p><p>If she must follow her fate, and wear that damned crown…there was no one the Flame Emperor would rather have by her side.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You all can probably imagine how I felt when Fire Emblem Heroes released Brave Edelgard, who talks about how her Crests are a sign of her "hideous strength," says that allowing gods to determine people's lives is "irresponsible", and says "we should forge our fates with our own hands." </p><p>This scene, for my money, is the worst mistranslation of the game-in the JP version, Edelgard is *angry*. When she finds out about the Goddess saving Byleth, she lets out a long, distraught sigh, tells Byleth "the Goddess must really love you", and asks her teacher, point-blank, if Byleth will fight "for the Church, or the people of the world?" </p><p>On another note, I find it very interesting that Edelgard fears the ocean, Flayn loves the ocean, and the Agarthian text "Romance of the World's Perdition" from the DLC states that the Agarthians were terrified of the world drowning in a great flood-the "waters of despair."</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Seeking the Sun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Flame Emperor watched the fireplace hiss and crackle, restless mind momentarily distracted from thoughts of manifestos and revolution. Edelgard’s past had given her a deep appreciation for life’s small pleasures, and the calming warmth of an open flame was no exception. It was a salve for aching limbs and an anxious heart. Even so, there was no escaping the melancholy she felt-this would be one of the final days the princess would ever spend in the Black Eagle classroom.</p><p>Edelgard gazed at the elegant tapestries and cozy bookshelves with a deep longing. It was her sanctuary, where for a brief moment, she had escaped the long shadow of the Adrestian crown. The princess would have been quite happy to have remained forever at Garreg Mach, never trading the sturdy wood of her desk for the plush throne of the Emperor.</p><p>But Edelgard’s life had never been about what she wanted.</p><p>“-asn’t sure what you thought, Edelgard.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor gave an automatic smile-one of many falsehoods at which she had become so skilled. Shaken from her ruminations, she turned to the source of the interruption.</p><p>Ingrid stood above Edelgard’s desk, scroll of parchment clutched in her arms. Byleth had been missing for the past few days, undergoing private tutoring with Rhea to adjust to her strange new powers. At the end of the month, Byleth was to participate in a ritual in the Holy Tomb, a final commemoration of her new exalted status.</p><p>Without an instructor, Seteth had assigned the class reports on siege warfare. Edelgard tried to avoid thinking about the practical demonstration she would soon provide the students of Garreg Mach.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Ingrid.” Edelgard’s artificial smile became sincere, and she gestured to the open space at her table. “Why don’t you sit down? We haven’t compared notes in a while.” Edelgard pulled out her own assignment, paper marked by elegant sloped lines and gorgeous curls.</p><p>The knight grinned, and quickly took the open seat next to her classmate. Edelgard offered her notes, and for a few moments, Ingrid’s green eyes scanned the document. “Oh thank goodness…” she muttered, shoulders relaxing. “…I haven’t felt that lost since the report on reason magic back in Wyvern Moon.”</p><p>Edelgard idly glanced through Ingrid’s proposed strategy. It was like Ingrid herself-direct, forceful, and idealistic to a fault. A straightforward attack on the castle’s front gates, supplemented by artillery support from ballistae and aerial troops. It would certainly succeed-at the cost of many lives on both sides.</p><p>“I thought this assignment would appeal to you, Ingrid. After all, Fódlan's military and chivalric history cannot be separated from the sieges of locations like Arianrhod and Merceus.”</p><p>Ingrid’s smile became forced. “Of course…it’s just-” The pegasus knight rested her forehead on her hands. “I don’t care for the duplicity. I’ve always been prepared to do whatever is requested of me-that’s a knight’s duty, after all…” She trailed off, uncertain.</p><p>“Then damn the orders and damn what your country expects. Be the knight and person you wish to be, Ingrid.”</p><p>Ingrid’s head leaned back, and she let out a long, loud laugh. For a brief instant, all the rigidity and sternness melted away, and she looked like the teenage girl she had never been allowed to be.</p><p>“You always make things sound so wonderfully simple, Edelgard.” Ingrid brushed a strand of blond hair off of her forehead. “My whole life, I’ve thought that if I made others happy-followed what they wanted…Perhaps I could hold on to what I had. But my father, my friends…it all seems to be slipping through my fingers.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor avoided her friend’s eye, and busied herself shuffling her quill and ink. “Yes...sometimes, it is unavoidable.”</p><p>“Of course.” Ingrid let out a long sigh, and stretched her back. “I suppose you never have such silly doubts.” She turned back toward Edelgard’s report and frowned. “Your idea…digging a tunnel to collapse the castle foundations. It never would have occurred to me.”</p><p>Edelgard waved her hand to dismiss any possible praise. “And I would never have considered launching such an audacious gambit. Adrestia is a proud country, but I don’t believe we’ve ever fully grasped Faerghus tactics.” A quiet hint of desperation crept into the princess’ speech. “Perhaps, after I ascend to the throne, we can continue to correspond?” Astonished with her own words, she lowered her head and faked a cough. “…For diplomatic relations, and the like.”</p><p>As Ingrid’s cheeks reddened, her speech became even more formal. “Of course. I am sure it would be beneficial to both Faerghus and Adrestia.” She looked down at Edelgard’s paper, shook her head, and smiled. “Even if you are completely dishonorable.”</p><p>“Honor?” A harsh laugh came from behind Edelgard’s shoulder. “Please tell me you’re not listening to this nonsense, Edel!”</p><p>The Flame Emperor turned to see Monica’s cocky grin. Her feet rested on the table, and adroit fingers tossed and caught a dagger with practiced casualness.</p><p>Ingrid’s green eyes narrowed. “And I suppose you have a better idea, Monica? It’s not like you do any of the assignments anyway.” Due to the distraction of Byleth’s transformation, no one had inquired further about Edelgard’s ludicrous excuse of Monica working under her. However, Edelgard knew that Kronya would give herself away before long, and she winced internally.</p><p>A look of crazed pride appeared in the assassin’s countenance. “Not anymore!” She pulled out a crinkled scroll, filled with untidy scrawl. “What d’ya think? Pretty impressive, huh?”</p><p>Ingrid glanced at the report, eyes bulging. “You want to <em>launch corpses over the walls</em>?!” She nearly threw the paper back at the disguised Agarthian. “I’ve never heard of something so…so…<em>vile</em>!“</p><p>“See how long they can hold out after a plague outbreak.” There was a bark of laughter from the assassin. “You know what the problem with all of you is? You’re too <em>nice</em>! Even Hubert.” She gestured behind her, where the spymaster was carrying both Marianne and Bernadetta’s books to their table. “Incessantly talking about peace and scruples…but the only thing that matters is winning.”</p><p>Ingrid shook her head. “I refuse to accept that. I was raised to believe that some things are more important than life or victory. The code of chivalry represents a duty to family, lord and homeland above all.”</p><p>“All your little silly rules about killing people… I was raised a different way.” Monica shook her head, as her vision went distant. “I learned that there are two types of people in this world. There are people who will do anything to live…and people who are lying to themselves.”</p><p>Before the argument could continue, the door to the classroom slammed open, sending bursts of sunshine into the dimly-lit room. Edelgard turned, and as her vision struggled to adjust, all she could see was a blinding flash of white.</p><p>“Black Eagles…your attention, please!” Seteth’s firm voice drew every student’s eye. “Professor Byleth has completed the tasks entrusted to her by the Church. She has now been granted the holiest of titles from the Archbishop…Enlightened One.” He extended his arm, and even the stoic Flame Emperor had to stifle a gasp.</p><p>Byleth Eisner was a woman defined by her eccentricities-from her obsession with fishing to her growing appreciation for terrible puns. There was no better symbol of this than her idiosyncratic wardrobe-black tights, boots, and armor, a shining silver medallion, and a long black overcoat.</p><p>By all rights, the outfit should have looked ludicrous-yet even Edelgard, whose tastes tended to a refined, quiet sophistication, could not help but love Byleth’s strange combination of elegance and toughness. It was the outfit Byleth had worn when she had come tumbling into the Flame Emperor’s life, relighting the fires of hope that had for so long lay dark.</p><p>The Ashen Demon now stood in front of the classroom, her signature jacket gone…replaced by a white coat and purple cape. A high golden collar encircled her neck, and her strange green hair was topped with a golden crown. She was barely recognizable, and Edelgard could not ignore the peculiar feeling of betrayal that now welled in her heart.</p><p>But how could she be angry? Byleth was a savior, and Edelgard a sinner. Her teacher was now a chosen and favored child of the Goddess. Why should her appearance not reflect this newfound status? After all, if anyone was deserving of adoration, it was Byleth Eisner. She was everything that Edelgard was not-blessed, kind, beautiful…</p><p>They could have been happy together, in some different, better world, free from the manipulations of the divine. Edelgard knew that with everything that she was. A world where the Flame Emperor was not a conniving little scoundrel, with a disfigured body and an even more blemished soul. Perhaps, in a world where she was not…<em>her</em>, she could have deserved Byleth’s love.</p><p>Perhaps they could have had a little cottage together, spending days encircled in each other’s arms. Gone for quiet walks together, hand-in-hand, Edelgard feeling the quiet comfort of someone’s touch on her bare skin. In such a world…perhaps Edelgard wouldn’t have to feel so terribly, terribly alone.</p><p>But that was not the world that the Goddess had created. There was only this ruined, fallen world, inhabited by a ruined, fallen woman.</p><p>“Professor.” Dorothea put a hand to her lips. “The outfit is certainly…unique.”</p><p>Edelgard and Ingrid exchanged worried glances. They had sparred with the Ashen Demon countless times, and that intimacy meant they understood Professor Byleth better than almost anyone at Garreg Mach. Perhaps the princess was projecting her own feelings, but the mercenary’s dead-eyed stare spoke to a deep discomfort.</p><p>Byleth remained silent. A few slow blinks from her green eyes were the only sign that a living being stood in front of the Black Eagles class.</p><p>“Regardless of Rhea’s…aesthetic choices…” Seteth gave an audible sigh. “The Black Eagles have been tasked with an assignment. The Western Church has attempted to seize the sacred grounds at the Rhodos Coast by force, and Professor Byleth has kindly volunteered to accompany us on this mission.”</p><p>The princess leaned forward on her desk, trying and failing to hide her irritation. “And I’m sure that a show of power from your new…” she scowled fiercely. “…<em>Enlightened One</em>…never entered into your calculations when planning this mission?”</p><p>“If the Western Church continues to rebel, there must be consequences.” Seteth placed his hands behind his back. “The Archbishop has been clear-they are heretics threatening the stability of Fódlan. Surely a leader like yourself can understand the importance of preventing such unrest?”</p><p>Edelgard’s lilac eyes darted between Seteth’s cross expression and Byleth’s blank countenance. She had kept quiet for months, remained silent while the Church dictated missions, and made a mockery of Adrestia’s sovereignty. But to use her teacher as a prop! Something inside the princess snapped.</p><p>“I <em>understand</em> that as a future head of state, I am now being <strong>told</strong> to interfere in a private dispute between two separate theological branches of the Church of Seiros.” She felt Ingrid’s arm on her shoulder, but her rage compelled her onward. “When conflicts with Duscur, Sreng and Dagda occurred, the Church was nowhere to be seen. One begins to wonder why the Church of Seiros’ concern for stability only extends to when its own interests are threatened.”</p><p>The silence in the Black Eagle classroom was deafening. A vein in Seteth’s forehead began to throb dangerously, and he opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by a serene, peaceful voice.</p><p>“Edelgard…I would like you to come. I have never fought without the Black Eagles, and the year’s almost over. I…I’m going to miss you all.” For the first time, Byleth’s face demonstrated an emotion, communicating the obvious love and affection she held for her students.</p><p>The princess leaned forward, forehead resting on her fingers, and let out a long sigh. “As you wish, my teacher.” She stood and turned to her classmates, allowing a genuine smile to break through her cold outer shell. “What do you think, Black Eagles-one last mission?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard hated the ocean. It was not that the sea was distasteful-not at all. It was a reminder of the princess’ greatest fear-losing control.</p><p>Edelgard had spent years fighting to reestablish what little power she could grasp, but the sea did not care about her pitiful human concerns. The thought of the tide terrified the girl. The coldness and cruelty of the water was so terribly familiar. It threatened to pull her under, taking away her freedom, just as strange men had once forced her down on a cold, metallic table.</p><p>Despite her discomfort, the atmosphere was gorgeous. The sea-spray of the salt air was inimitable, and the sand shifted and morphed underneath the Flame Emperor’s feet. Many of her classmates had rolled up their sleeves in observance of the warm temperature. Lysithea turned for a moment to Edelgard, stifling in her mage’s robes, and gave her friend a mournful smile. As the princess felt the sweat on her own scarred arms, a righteous anger began to well inside her.</p><p>Still, the breeze was cool, the vistas were immaculate, and it was almost stunning enough to forget that the Black Eagles were locked in combat with the zealous heretics of the Western Church.</p><p>Edelgard had never fought alongside Seteth before, but she had heard stories about his skills with both a wyvern and a lance. He was fighting today with terrifying fierceness. It was as if these fanatics were not just insulting the honor of the Church of Seiros-they were insulting <em>him</em>, personally.</p><p>“I fight in honor of Saint Cichol!” screamed one of the mages that dotted the sun-drenched coastline. “You will not desecrate these lands, heret-“ His final words were cut off by Seteth’s spear bursting through the man’s chest.</p><p>Seteth’s eyes narrowed. “Your crimes have found you out, dog.” As he landed his wyvern with unexpected grace on the sandy dunes, he rested momentarily. His hand gripped his blessed weapon tightly as he turned back toward the Black Eagles. “I will recapture the monument. Everyone else should focus on removing the surrounding enemies.”</p><p>“Wait, Brother!” Flayn rushed forward, a peaceful glow originating from her fingertips. Flayn’s obvious skill was evident-the minor cuts that Seteth had received in the conflict were consumed by the holy light, replaced by unblemished skin.  “I shall accompany you. Mother deserves to rest in peace.”</p><p>Ingrid shot a worried glance at Edelgard, obviously sensing that the princess’ anger was ready to boil over. “Seteth…” she shook her head. “I thought you said this was a holy place-what, exactly, is our purpose for being here?”</p><p>Seteth shook his head. “I cannot reveal all that is happening. All you must concern yourself with is the elimination of the Western Church.” He glanced at Byleth. “Professor, may I ask your support while I recapture the monument?”</p><p>Before Byleth could respond, a blast of magical energy tore through the group, almost knocking the Ashen Demon off her feet.  A young mage stood atop a nearby dune, her hands and voice trembling. “The… the Goddess is protecting us. We will never yield to the likes of you!”</p><p>Flayn fired a spell, overcome with anger. “This place does not belong to you! Leave at once!”</p><p>The force of the spell clipped the mage in the shoulder, causing her to wince in pain. The fanatical belief that had caused her to assault an overwhelming force was replaced with panic. She slowly backed away, before fleeing into the nearby forest.</p><p>“Insufferable arrogance!” Seteth clenched his fist, overcome with emotion. He turned to the group. “We’ll have to send someone after them.”</p><p>Monica, who had spent the entire journey avoiding Flayn and Seteth as much as possible, raised her hand. “Leave ‘em to me.” Without another word, she tore into the underbrush, a predator in search of prey.</p><p>Ingrid turned to Edelgard, filled with concern. “I’m not comfortable leaving Monica on her own. Shall we provide support?”</p><p>Despite the princess’ gaze lingering over Byleth, she slowly nodded, and the two Black Eagles made their way up the coastline.</p><p>Once out of earshot of Seteth, Ingrid turned to Edelgard nervously. “Are you sure you’re all right to be continuing this mission? Ever since…Professor Byleth’s-“ She waved a hand in a vain attempt to communicate everything that had transpired.</p><p>“I am fine.” Edelgard stared ahead. “If this is where our teacher is meant to be, then I will not stand in the way of destiny.” For a moment, she glanced at her friend, silent argument waging in her mind, before she arrived at a decision. A scarred hand tightened the grip on her steel ax. “I’m ascending to the throne this week, Ingrid.”</p><p>The knight stopped in her tracks, before turning to Edelgard with surprise. “Does that mean this is our last-“ Her face fell. “I wish you would have told me.”</p><p>“Ingrid…” Edelgard shook her head. “The Empire’s political situation is currently…delicate. You, Hubert, and Lysithea are the only ones who know.”</p><p>There was the faintest hint of pleasure on Ingrid’s face, before it was replaced by utter shock. “Not Professor Byleth?”</p><p>“I need to ask her to accompany me, as a representative of the Church of Seiros…but it must remain hidden for as long as possible.” The Flame Emperor rested her weight on her ax, attention focused on any sign of Monica or her quarry. “If someone like Seteth gets word…”</p><p>“I know your relationship with him is…fraught.” Ingrid ducked under a fallen tree, as they moved through the woods. “But you two are some of the only people who have told me that my worth is not dependent on my Crest. Without your support, I would have continued to throw myself into knighthood-never questioning this world, or my place in it.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor had learned to tolerate many things-pain, loss and sorrow most of all. But there was one thing that her hardened soul could not abide-those who witnessed injustice, privately disagreeing, yet choosing to remain silent. Such cowardice had killed her family. For all her many moral compromises and lapses, Edelgard von Hresvelg could never tolerate such an evil.</p><p>Perhaps it was the heat, or the feeling of destiny closing around her, but Edelgard’s self-control disappeared. She glared at Ingrid, as the words erupted out of her. “He sees the impact of his Church’s policies on you-trapped in a society that does not value your courage or strength…and all he can muster is private encouragement?! The man censors books, Ingrid!” Edelgard let out an annoyed huff, mind overwhelmed with frustration. “Forgive me if I expect more than useless platitudes for my best friend!”</p><p>Edelgard became cognizant of what she had revealed midway through lifting a tree branch. She stumbled, and nearly rebounded the limb into her own face. Behind her, she could hear her classmate’s motion stop. For a moment, there was an awkward silence in the forest grove.</p><p>“Forgive me,” Edelgard’s voice lowered, as she felt her all-important poise begin to slip. “That was rather…uncouth.” She had given so many speeches in her life…why was it suddenly so hard to talk? She stared at the earth, mind fixated on how pathetic she must sound. Finally, utterly mortified, the Flame Emperor steeled her face and heart and turned around.</p><p>Ingrid’s face was lit up with a beaming smile. “You…you mean it? Truly?” She rubbed her shoulder, knightly comportment replaced by quiet elation. “I…I’ve never had a best friend. Not even…” She stared up at the sky. “Sylvain and Felix have always had each other, and Dimitri had Glenn…I didn’t think I’d ever-”</p><p>A scream rebounded through the clearing, and all Ingrid and Edelgard’s tenderness and vulnerability was replaced with battle-readiness. Spear and ax burst through the fallen trees and branches that blocked their path, only to find Monica standing above the fleeing mage.</p><p>Monica’s red eyes were filled with a hideous, crazed hunger. A need to kill and hurt. She was so enraptured by the thrill of the hunt, she failed to notice the arrival of her two classmates, shoulders rising and falling rapidly.</p><p>“Please…” Any confidence the mage had once possessed was gone. She could not have been much older than Bernadetta. Hands were raised in a pathetic attempt at supplication. “It was all for the sake of the Goddess…These lands are for Her…”</p><p>“The Goddess…The GODDESS?!” Monica began to cackle with demented laughter. She leaned down, dagger inches away from the mage’s throat. “Let me tell you a nasty little secret…the Goddess doesn’t care about you. These lands? They aren’t even…”</p><p>“Monica.” Edelgard’s voice was firm. “Stop.”</p><p>The assassin tilted her head with surprise. “Why are you stopping me, Edel? She attacked us! She’s just another stupid enemy! Killing enemies is what I do!”</p><p>
  <em>Once, Edelgard had loved to sit on the benches in the palace gardens. They were peaceful and quiet-the perfect place to sit and talk with her siblings. There was always someone around, and the quiet splendor of the flowers and the deep affection El felt for her siblings intermingled into a beautiful whole. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now, the princess could barely stand it. The palace had become so quiet, and so many of the nooks and crannies were haunted by ghosts. How many years had it been since-Edelgard could not even remember. Out of the all the quiet, terrible surprises born of her grief and suffering, it was the fog covering the past that galled her the most.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How could she fail to remember so many of the little, small details of her life? Did she not care about her loved ones? The boy from Faerghus? Her own mother? The worst thing was that so many days…Edelgard was happy to forget. To avoid feeling the pain of loss quite so sharply. She was relieved that the boy from Faerghus didn’t have to see the ugly monster his best friend had turned into.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She covered her face with her hands, as the sun began to set in the palace gardens. Orange lights danced over the cascade of colorful flowers, until the princess felt a shadow looming above her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hubert. I thought I told you I was not to be-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I am not your retainer, little Emperor.” Edelgard searched for a breath that refused to come. Thales finished speaking, sat down next to her on the bench, and reached his arm around her. The princess stared ahead, holding her right arm to her lap to prevent it from shaking involuntarily.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thales, of course, saw this subtle motion, and a sadistic grin lit up his features. “I’ve received reports of your training, little one. I must say, I am duly impressed.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I am pleased to hear it.” The princess tried desperately to keep her voice even-keeled, even as she could feel his revolting arm resting on her shoulder. “I must train to ascend the throne, whatever the circumstances.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t worry about the throne, little El.” The fiend who had stolen her uncle’s face laughed softly. “Your purpose…your destiny…is to destroy. You will burn away everything. Embrace the beauty in the role I have chosen for you.“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What about Duke Aegir?” Edelgard glared at Thales. “Perhaps he would like to know where he fits in your plans…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thales’ arm tightened around Edelgard’s throat, leaving the girl momentarily gasping for air. “Weapons don’t worry about such things. Follow my will, obey my commands, and you will find your purpose.”</em>
</p><p>“Because…” Edelgard lowered her head. “Because each of us has been forced into a destiny that is not their own. Told there is only one thing we can choose to be…” She shook her head, as she stared at the trembling mage. “They said you were doing the Goddess’ will, did they not?”</p><p>The girl’s voice wavered, but finally the words came out, hesitant and faltering. “Saint Cethleann…I wanted to protect this place. For her. My superiors said we must, that it was my duty to take back this place…” She covered her face with her hands. “Please…I don’t want to die.”</p><p>Monica’s arm twitched, and she slowly sheathed her dagger. Far in the distance, screams and bright flashes of light could be seen as the forces of the Western Church were routed by the strength of the Enlightened One.</p><p>“You know…” Ingrid looked between Edelgard and Monica with a bitter smile. “Allowing a foe to escape, and disobeying a direct order would be a betrayal of every code and standard of knighthood…” She shrugged her shoulders, quietly laughed, and turned away from the mage. “Perhaps Felix is right-I’m not a very good knight, after all.”</p><p>Edelgard knelt in front of the enemy, who appeared unable to process the miracle that was now occurring. “You have been given another chance. Not by the Goddess, but by the kindness and compassion of others.”  She picked up her ax and hoisted it over her shoulder with an easy grace. “Make the most of it.” She turned to Monica, who was looking both at the grateful mage, and at nothing at all. “We’re going.”</p><p>As the sounds of the enemy soldier’s tearful thanks slowly faded into silence, Ingrid turned to Monica and smiled. “My behavior earlier to you…I must apologize.”</p><p>Monica raised her head slowly, red eyes filled with shock and not a little suspicion. “Why?!…You were right. I’m just a killer. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at doing. The only thing that’s ever mattered about me.”</p><p>Ingrid stole a glance at Edelgard, and smiled. “I don’t know what your past is, Monica. But my entire life, I have longed for freedom from the wishes of my father…and all I did was trade the role of bride for that of a knight.” She shook her head. “That struggle to break free…it can be very lonely. I don’t want you to have to suffer it alone.”</p><p>Monica remained silent, her eyes focused on the dirt path beneath her feet.</p><p>As the three Eagles rejoined their classmates, they found Sylvain, Dorothea, and the rest of the Eagles quietly watching the coastline. Byleth, Seteth, and Flayn were talking amongst themselves at the altar to Saint Cichol.</p><p>“D-did you find them?” Bernadetta asked her classmates hesitantly, as Hubert carefully wrapped a minor cut on her arm. As Edelgard shook her head, Bernadetta jumped in pain. “Ouch!”</p><p>“If you continue to flinch, Lady Bernadetta, the ointment will also continue to sting.” Hubert shook his head with mild annoyance. He jerked his neck in the direction of the three green-haired pilgrims in the distance. “I must confess this does not help my mood, either.”</p><p>Sylvain nodded his head. “I agree with tall, dark and grumpy. I know I haven’t been the greatest to Professor Byleth, but…” He leaned against the Lance of Ruin, which he had driven into the sand in front of him. “But I can’t help feeling that I’m watching the Professor get stolen from us.”</p><p>Lysithea began to grumble, arms crossed with irritation. “What do you think they could be talking about anyway? Flayn placed flowers at the monument…If I’m going to be involved in someone’s personal feud, I’d at least like to be informed.” As Sylvain gently rustled her hair, she gave him an annoyed glare. “And what’s Professor Byleth getting out of this anyways?”</p><p>Dorothea was resting her head on Petra’s shoulder, overwhelmed from the emotion of battle. No one took the burden of fighting harder than the gentle singer. As she quietly watched the sunset, her voice wavered. “I think…I think the Professor’s found a family. After everything she’s gone through, I suppose...“ The words hung over the Black Eagles like a terrible fog.</p><p>Marianne’s hesitant whisper finally cut through the silence. “I…I…thought we were-“ She trailed off, full of defeat.</p><p>“So did I, Marianne.” Edelgard’s voice was firm and cold, with no hint of the grief hidden beneath. “So did I.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
As the Black Eagles returned to the familiar ramparts and spires of the monastery, the princess desperately searched for a moment to talk to her teacher. Immediately after the mission, Byleth had left to debrief Rhea on the events at Rhodos Coast, leaving a disheartened princess in her wake.</p><p>The next few days had followed a similar pattern. Byleth’s preparation for the ceremonies at the Holy Tomb extended from dawn to dusk. Every spare moment where Edelgard hoped for a private moment with her teacher, someone was there-Seteth fussing over ceremonial duties, Flayn excitedly pestering Byleth with questions, or worst of all, the Archbishop.</p><p>The princess had endured many terrible moments, but the day that Edelgard had stumbled upon Rhea and Byleth happily walking in the gardens of Garreg Mach was one of the lowest points of her life.</p><p>Each day, the vise on the princess’ heart grew tighter and tighter. Edelgard would have to leave, and each day, her hopes that she would meet with her teacher grew dimmer and dimmer. The morning of her departure, she shared a quiet breakfast with Petra and Caspar in the dining hall, before idly wandering down the steps to the marketplace.</p><p>As she stared at the merchant’s wares with utter indifference, a glint of green appeared in her peripheral vision.</p><p>“Hello, Edelgard.” Byleth eagerly grabbed a handful of fruit from one of the stalls. “Have you tried the apples? They’re very fresh.” She bit into the produce with gusto, and waited for her student’s response.</p><p>Edelgard tried to steady her breathing, and tamp down the hope that had suddenly swelled in her heart. Even the iron will of the Flame Emperor could not handle a rejection. Not now.</p><p>“My teacher.” The princess tried to hide the obvious affection that infused every syllable. “Where are Seteth and Flayn? They’ve been accompanying you-“ She trailed off, eyes darting all around the marketplace-as if Flayn would jump out of a nearby barrel of pears, or Seteth would come rolling out from underneath the table.</p><p>“Ingrid asked Seteth for some help with an aerial lance technique.” Byleth gave a small smile, as she fussed with her gaudy and uncomfortable purple cape. “And Lysithea wanted Flayn to assist with some research on ancient Crests. You know how forceful those two are. I’ve never seen them so insistent as today, though.”</p><p>“Oh.” The Flame Emperor began to play with her gloved hands nervously, overwhelmed by the actions of her friends. “My teacher…I wanted to ask you something.”</p><p>“Of course, Edelgard,” said Byleth, voice distorted by a mouth full of apple. “How can I help?”</p><p>“I’d like you to join me. There’s something I must do. In Enbarr.” She lowered her voice as Ashe and Annette wandered by, arm in arm. “I promise we will be back in time for the ceremony at the Holy Tomb.”</p><p>The Ashen Demon’s back straightened, as it always did when she sensed that Edelgard was distressed. “Is everything all right?”</p><p>“Oh, yes.” Edelgard clasped her hands behind her back to stop them from trembling. “I am leaving momentarily. I can’t say more here, but…I would greatly appreciate your-“</p><p>“Professor!”</p><p>As Seteth’s reprimand echoed across the bazaar, the princess felt the tiny ballast of hope in her heart sink beneath the waves. The Church official marched through the stalls, before standing in front of Byleth. At the top step of the marketplace, Ingrid stood with a defeated expression.</p><p>“You have numerous responsibilities, Professor! Without a proper education in the history and rituals of the Church, you will be completely unprepared for this month's events!“</p><p>The princess walked away, eyes downcast. She had come so close. Even with the help of her friends, there was no fighting destiny, or fate. As she walked toward Hubert, who was waiting at the front gates, he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.</p><p>“All is prepared, Lady Edelgard. Did you manage-“</p><p>Edelgard shook her head, and quietly ascended into the Imperial carriage. The girl reclined on the plush cushions, and stared at the ceiling with listless eyes. Her hand mindlessly grasped the birthday present she had never been allowed to give to Byleth-the silver necklace in the shape of eagle’s wings.</p><p>As the carriage began to slowly pull away from Garreg Mach, and move toward the village below, the Flame Emperor stared forward, completely numb. She wanted to be angry or sad or cry, but right now she felt nothing at all. The Goddess had thwarted her yet again, twisting and molding the princess into the role she was always meant to play-the villain.</p><p>Thales had been right, all those years ago. Edelgard’s role was to destroy-not to love or be loved. She glanced down at her present, and raised her hand to the window, eager to toss both it, and her silly little hopes aside. She was the Flame Emperor-that was all she could ever be.</p><p>*THUMP*</p><p>The princess was shaken from her despair by a loud crash on the roof. Edelgard looked around in shock-was she under attack? Had Thales’ men-</p><p>The door flew open, and Edelgard was greeted by the upside-down face of Byleth Eisner, hanging off the roof of the royal Imperial carriage. The Ashen Demon’s windswept face was lit up with a characteristically serene smile.</p><p>“Hello, little flower.”</p><p>With catlike grace, she leapt and tumbled into the seat opposite the princess. The tiara on her head was turned at a forty-five degree angle, her sparkling white outfit was coated in mud and dirt, and her purple cape was barely hanging off her shoulders.</p><p>“My teacher…<em>how?” </em></p><p>“You left before I could go with you. So, I kept chasing the carriage until I caught it.” Byleth shrugged, undisturbed by the extraordinary nature of her feat. “Seteth was upset, but I told him that you and I help each other, no matter what happens.” She punctuated this astonishing statement with a forceful nod.</p><p>Edelgard looked at her teacher, covered in soil, hair messy and clothes disheveled. At those green eyes, just as trusting and pure as the blue that the Flame Emperor had treasured so dearly. She did not look like the chosen one of the Goddess. She looked like Byleth. <em>Her </em>Byleth.</p><p>The Flame Emperor began to laugh. The sound started soft and low, unfamiliar even to Edelgard’s own ears-but as the joy in her heart grew and grew, the happiness built to a roaring flame. It was the way El had laughed when her siblings had told a funny joke, or when her young friend from Faerghus had tripped and fallen into a fountain while they were practicing dancing. For the first time in so very long, Edelgard von Hresvelg felt alive again.</p><p>For many years, the royal guards that accompanied the young princess were accustomed to one sound-that of silence. Any rare statements were terse and cold, and many of the guards had begun to beg for any other assignment, so gloomy was the atmosphere.</p><p>But that day, all they could hear was laughter and warmth emanating from the compartment of the Imperial Princess. She did not sound like a woman buckled under the weight of crown and country, or a girl broken by catastrophic loss-she sounded like something else, something no one who knew Edelgard von Hresvelg had ever expected to hear.</p><p>She sounded like a girl in love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One of the things I thought was really important in this story was to show how Byleth's belief in Edelgard as a person impacts Edelgard's other relationships-so much of Edelgard's characterization in the game is about that flower metaphor. By believing in Edelgard, Byleth finds out that the ruthless villain from the other routes had just as much potential to be a hero and to show the beautiful person she is underneath-she just needed someone to listen and value the "tender thoughts that only seem to grow."</p><p>So I wanted to give Edelgard a friend she could bounce off of besides Byleth. I consider Hubert and Lysithea as found siblings, and when I looked through the rest of the cast, I was really struggling. People like Annette and Bernie didn't feel like an equal power dynamic, and Dorothea's strengths with Edelgard are really in the contrasts-and she and Petra are the most canonically "close" to Edelgard anyways, so it was treading on ground already covered in the game.</p><p>But then I landed on Ingrid, a character who I obviously have no small affection for, and everything really fell into place-especially when I watched her Ingrid-Mercedes support, which is all about how Ingrid hasn't allowed herself to have female friends because Glenn's death locked her in emotional stasis. I realized there was a fun arc here of these two stubborn jerks, both desperately trying to push against the roles society shoved them into (hence this chapter), becoming great friends through all the squabbling.</p><p>On another note, many of Seteth's lines during the Rhodos Coast mission are taken from the game, including the line about hunting down escaping Western Church soldiers-I think this mission becomes incredibly disturbing when you realize that Seteth and Flayn are killing their own faithful followers. Understandable reasons, but still...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. The Crown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was impossible, really, to say where Enbarr began; like a great sea monster, its tentacles spread out endlessly into the surrounding countryside. As the Flame Emperor watched from her carriage, she could see the small farming villages, with their dirt roads and ramshackle huts, gradually give way to familiar stone and brick.</p><p>Edelgard observed the passing farmers and merchants with a strange longing. There was a world out there she had forever been separated from-by her status, and her plans, and most of all, the malevolent whispers in the back of her mind. They jeered at her, over and over, uncovering a truth that Edelgard wanted so desperately to keep hidden-the terrifying certainty that she was a monster. It was so alien to see men and women laughing and joking, sharing an easy and carefree intimacy she could never truly experience.</p><p>“Everything here looks like Garreg Mach, Edelgard.” Byleth’s head was resting on her arm, as she looked out the window. “Why is that?”</p><p>Byleth was fascinated by the scenery, pestering her student with a multitude of questions. Far from being annoyed, Edelgard found it charming-Byleth brought a fresh sense of wonder and awe to even a simple carriage ride. For a jaded Imperial princess, whose mind was so often consumed in paperwork, administration, and self-loathing, it was liberating. At this moment, the Ashen Demon’s attention was drawn to the ancient stone archways that marked the entryway to the Imperial Capital.</p><p>The princess had a deep love of history, and begin to lecture in an erudite, efficient tone. It was a welcome distraction from her anxieties and fears about the upcoming coronation. “You have heard the legend of Seiros and Wilhelm, have you not?” After Byleth gave a hesitant nod, Edelgard began to laugh. “The very first Emperor of Adrestia fought alongside Saint Seiros. Together, they defeated Nemesis, and brought peace and stability to the continent. They were the greatest of allies, and for many years, the ties between the Empire and the Church of Seiros were unbreakable.”</p><p>For all of Byleth’s naiveté, she was far from stupid, and she instantly picked up on the unspoken implication in Edelgard’s words. “What changed?”</p><p>“Many things…” Edelgard glanced out the window at the familiar streets and shops she loved so dearly. “When the Church legitimized Faerghus’ bid for independence, many in Adrestia felt betrayed. After all, the people of the north were the descendants of Nemesis and his Elites.” She broke away from the window and her memories, and leaned toward her teacher. “And after the Southern Church rebelled a century ago…it has been strained ever since.”</p><p>The mercenary put her hands to her chin, and appeared lost in thought. Finally, she muttered a response. “It doesn’t make sense…”</p><p>“What does not make sense, my teacher?”</p><p>“Rhea…the Archbishop, I mean…she loves Enbarr.” Byleth looked down at her hands. “Flayn mentioned it the other day, and Rhea…I’ve never seen her so happy.”</p><p>An awkward silence fell in the carriage, before the princess dared to ask the question that had consumed her for months. “My teacher…why are you so fond of the Archbishop?”</p><p>After a pregnant pause, as the princess felt her heart beating relentlessly in her chest, her teacher finally responded. “Edelgard…for so long, I’ve felt like I was grasping for a purpose in life.” Calloused fingers rested on her divine sword. “Rhea says that I have a great destiny within me, and that she will do whatever she can to help me find it. She makes me feel special.”</p><p>It took every bit of Edelgard’s iron will to avoid letting out a prolonged sigh. “Is that the destiny you wish for yourself, or what she wishes for you?” The Flame Emperor’s forehead creased, and after collecting herself, she shook her head. “My deepest apologies, Professor. That question is deeply unfair. My emotions are on edge with the tasks that lay before me.”</p><p>The momentary surprise in the Ashen Demon’s eyes faded away, and was replaced by a look of curiosity. She tilted her head with a quizzical expression. “Why am I here, Edelgard? What are you doing in Enbarr?”</p><p>As the princess searched for the words, all she could hear was the clatter of the wooden carriage wheels on the ancient cobblestones. She felt herself drifting back into her memories, back into the happier times that she had shared with her siblings, with Uncle Volkhard…and with her father.</p><p>How was he? The only news she had received was vague, progressively dimmer reports about his declining health. Hubert had managed much of the negotiations, and Edelgard had only received a brief letter stating his cooperation with the plan. Was he still of sound mind? Would he even recognize her? Even…even though she wasn’t the El he had loved…would he still be proud of her?</p><p>The princess raised her eyes from the floor, cocooned in a protective shell of false bravado and self-assurance. “For the past few months, my teacher, I have been plotting a coup to take back the throne of the Empire. Duke Aegir truly controls the power of the throne, and to remove him, I have gained the support of the Empire’s finances and military.”</p><p>Byleth sensed the agitation hidden behind Edelgard’s poised veneer, and grasped the princess’ gloves. The mercenary reflected on her student’s words, before her face darkened, and her gaze fell on the Sword of the Creator.</p><p>“Aegir…he hurt you. He hurt your family!”</p><p>The princess broke away from Byleth’s green eyes. The raw agony and anger in her teacher’s words tore gaping holes in Edelgard’s stern façade. To know that her teacher cared so deeply and that Byleth recognized what a dreadful injustice Edelgard had undergone…it meant the world.</p><p>But there was a terrible, seething hatred that lay deep inside the princess. A poison that she pushed aside through toil and labor and dreams of a better future. To hear someone else acknowledge the magnitude of Duke Aegir’s crimes brought it all bubbling to the surface. She must not let it control her. If she lost herself…</p><p>Her voice lost all emotion. “He did.” Scarred hands clenched, as she desperately tried to bottle her rage and fear. “However, I cannot focus on that now. All I can control is the future…which brings me to you.”</p><p>A gentle nod from the mercenary prodded the princess onward.</p><p>“For generations, the Archbishop has acted as witness to the transfer of Imperial power. However, I have made a different decision.” She looked at her teacher, lilac orbs filled with admiration and love and loyalty and a hundred other emotions beyond words or reckoning. “You have believed in <em>me</em>, my teacher. In spite of my arrogance and petulance and cruelty. Over and over again, though I do not deserve it.”</p><p>Byleth opened her mouth to object, but the princess stopped her with a raised hand and an adoring smile.</p><p>“There is only one person who has always believed, not in the hallowed name of Hresvelg, or the power of the Imperial throne, but in the weak, foolish girl named Edelgard.” The Flame Emperor fought down the swelling of her heart, and the desire to hold Byleth Eisner in her arms. “Who else could I possibly request to stand alongside me but you, my teacher?”</p><p>The normally impassive face of the mercenary was consumed with incomprehension. “You’d pick me? Out of everyone…all the people in…you’d choose me?”</p><p>As the heavy stone gates of the palace slowly opened, and Edelgard’s destiny rushed in front of her, she let out a small, feeble laugh-a weakness she would only dare to show in front of the woman she loved with every part of her broken, delicate soul.</p><p>“I will always choose you, my teacher. Always and forever.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the Imperial princess and mercenary alighted from their carriage, they were greeted by a contingent of soldiers. A fierce-looking woman with brown hair stood at the front of the escort. As Edelgard approached, the woman knelt, red eyes filled with admiration.</p><p>“Your Highness, I trust your journey was comfortable? Is there anything I can provide for you?”</p><p>Edelgard smiled, and rested a hand on the woman’s shoulder.</p><p>“A name would be appreciated.”</p><p>“Oh…of course! Forgive my indiscretion. My name is Ladislava, and Count Bergliez has assigned me the great honor of leading your Imperial Guard.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor gave a satisfied smile. “Ah yes…Your service record is quite extraordinary, Ladislava. I am beyond pleased that Count Bergliez chose such a qualified and competent individual for the position. I trust you will not disappoint me.”</p><p>A fire burned in Ladislava’s eyes, as she stood, and began to guide Edelgard and Byleth through the Imperial palace. “I was raised in the slums of Enbarr, my lady. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that you would take an interest-“</p><p>A gloved hand dismissed any praise. “I would hope I would do more to deserve such lavish commendations than the simple recognition of obvious talent.” She tried to ignore the familiar scenery that now surrounded her, and the memories that now bombarded her consciousness. She must remain focused on the business at hand, and not the turmoil inside her mind. “Is my father in the throne room?”</p><p>“Yes.” Ladislava looked pained. “It took a great deal out of him, but once we told him that Randolph was waylaying Duke Aegir…” Her stern features lit up with a warm smile. “He moved like a man twenty years younger.”</p><p>Edelgard quietly stared at the plush floor, and slowly allowed her boots to carry her toward the Imperial throne. As she passed the lush tapestries, marked with the great two-headed eagle of the Empire, she could feel the history encircling her, sweeping her up in destiny’s tide. She knew that as soon as that crown was placed on her head, it would never be the same.</p><p>All of her friends, even Ingrid or Dorothea or Lysithea, would look at her differently. How could they not? She would be the leader of the Adrestian Empire. She was becoming something more than human-a living symbol to the people of her country. Her people did not need the silly little girl who kept an armored teddy bear hidden in her dresser. They needed the strong, peerless-</p><p>Her inner monologue was interrupted by Byleth’s hand, grasping her shoulder. Edelgard turned and looked up, and the Ashen Demon’s face softened with a private tenderness, a gift that only the princess was allowed to see.</p><p>“I know you’re nervous, little flower.” Byleth’s voice was filled with a quiet reassurance. For a moment, the scared little child deep inside the Imperial princess indulged in the comfort and reassurance of her teacher’s touch. “I’ll be with you the whole time.”</p><p>For an instant, the princess could only imagine what this moment would have been if Byleth had not fallen into the Flame Emperor’s life. It was almost as if she <em>had </em>experienced it before-walking toward her destiny, all alone. Edelgard found that girl terrifying-a wretch who had never allowed herself the comforts of friendship, or dreamed she was anything more than a weapon.</p><p>She knew, with a chilling certainty, what would have happened-she would have walked toward those doors like she had planned the deaths of Kostas and his bandits. With a cold and frightening detachment, a numbness that would have allowed her to justify any atrocity in pursuit of her ambitions. It was all so terribly lonely, and terribly familiar.</p><p>Ladislava stopped before the familiar, ancient wooden doors that lead to the throne room. The princess winced momentarily. For months now, Edelgard had been adrift on the oceans of time. Sometimes, she was thrust into the doomed future that awaited her, and sometimes, like now, the past seemed to swallow her.</p><p>Ever since the experiments, it had all become so terribly unreal-Edelgard’s world, and her place in it. She never told anyone, even her teacher, about these terrifying intrusions-how at any moment, the past would become the present, reminding her of all that she had lost.</p><p>She gripped the dagger on her belt, a gift from a boy she could no longer remember, and smiled. She focused on the mantra she had repeated to herself over and over again in darkness of the dungeons of Enbarr-she would cut her own path. It always brought her back to the world, back to sense. She would seize her destiny… and if that meant bearing her fangs at the gods, so be it.</p><p>The doors slowly opened, and Edelgard was assaulted by hundreds of sounds and sights and smells long past. It was somehow the present, and also many years past, and a girl with brown hair was laughing and playing with her siblings, unaware of the tragedies that would soon remove the color from her life.</p><p>Edelgard pushed away her weakness-the nostalgia and the regret and pain-and looked around what once had been the Great Hall of Enbarr, the heart of the Empire. Before the light had left the Imperial Palace, this had been a joyous place, filled with laughter and brightness, and most of all, <em>sound</em>.</p><p>But now, there was only silence. There was no one in this room, beyond four Imperial guards, and an emaciated, shrunken man seated on the Imperial throne. His face was skeletal and pale, his listless eyes colorless and murky. The gold trim of his Imperial robes hung off his wasted body like a twisted mockery of the broad-shouldered man he once was. He slowly raised his head, and his gaunt face seemed to look both at Edelgard, and at all the things which once were, and could never be again.</p><p>“Hello, Edelgard.”</p><p>It was not the robust, determined sound that had once bounced off the palace walls. There was a time when the man had been a living bolt of lightning-pure energy that went wherever it wished, unbidden and unchained. That man had been El’s hero, and she had loved him with the innocence and purity of a child.</p><p>The strangled croak of his voice, and the frailness of his limbs, was a reminder to both Ionius and his daughter. Of how he had failed in the one duty with which every parent is tasked-he had not protected her. How all his strength had amounted to so very little, in the end.</p><p>As Edelgard thought of the end of her path, to the knowledge that her cursed visions had imparted on her, she could feel that same weakness. She too, would soon feel her body fail her, left alone in Imperial throne room to await her death. Like her father, she would try to change the world, and the world would punish that arrogance. But for now, she must fight.</p><p>Now, it was Edelgard’s duty to be strong for the both of them. She fell to a knee, and behind her, she could hear Byleth and Ladislava do the same.</p><p>“Father.”</p><p>All the girl wanted to do was to hug her father. To be a human being, for one moment of her miserable, cursed existence. But the Hresvelgs were royalty, and so that single word had to convey all the love and betrayal and sorrow that Edelgard had carried deep inside for so very long.</p><p>“My…child.” He raised his arm. “Please, lift your head. Let me see you….”</p><p>She tried to lift her head, but it felt as if it were made of stone. The new Emperor could not be seen with reddened eyes when the royal crown was placed upon her.</p><p>“Father…forgive me for asking this of you.” The words were so difficult to find, as she stared at the carpet beneath her feet. “I know how much pain you’re in-how the burden of the throne weighs heavily on you-and so-“</p><p>“There is no need to apologize.” His words came out, clear and strong, and for a moment, she could hear her father again. The princess lifted her eyes in wonder, and could see the light reenter Ionius’ eyes. “Edelgard. You know I do not-“ He let out a loud cough, and his entire body seemed to tremble. “..I do not have much time left in this world. The time has come.”</p><p>With a staggering determination, he stood, in defiance of time and grief. This was the final, great task of the man’s life, and each step toward his daughter was the mark of a man with immense courage.</p><p>“Thank you, Father.” Edelgard tried to hold back her tears. “Now to complete the Imperial succession, you must relinquish the crown in the throne room. Normally, the archbishop would act as my witness, but…” She gestured to Byleth, who gave Ionius a determined nod. “…My professor will fill that role instead.”</p><p>Ionius looked at his daughter’s companion with surprise, before he gave a small, understanding smile.</p><p>“Edelgard…”</p><p>“From this day forward…” the princess desperately tried to overlook the fear and pain she had heard in her father’s voice. “…The weight of the Empire’s future shall rest upon my shoulders. All that I do will be for the benefit of the people of Fódlan.”</p><p>She tried to ignore this final, great injustice. How in what may be the last moments she ever shared with her father, they must play this silly charade of ritual and obedience. All she wanted was to be held by her father, and to cry, and to say anything but the meaningless ceremonial phrases that now fell from her lips.</p><p>“Edelgard von Hresvelg, the crown is yours.” Ionius took the Imperial crown off his own head with trembling hands, and reached out to place it on his daughter’s head. For a moment, he hesitated, face full of fear, before he finally let it go. “By the covenant between the red blood and the white sword, and by the double-headed eagle upon your head, I hereby pronounce you the new Emperor. Are you prepared to take those responsibilities as your own?”</p><p>Edelgard listened to the vows that had once bound the Church of Seiros and the Empire together. Millenia-old bonds that she would soon tear asunder, in pursuit of her dreams. Her spirit did not waver. She spoke the words that had to be spoken, while her true resolve burned deep in her heart.</p><p>“In accordance with the ancient covenant, and in keeping with the Hresvelg legacy... I swear that upon this throne, I shall use my reign to lead Fódlan to a new dawn and achieve peace for all.”</p><p>For years, Edelgard had prepared and planned for this moment. And yet, as she felt her teacher's presence behind her, the crown…it was not as heavy as she had expected.</p><p>Ionius’ face relaxed, and Edelgard saw a glimpse of the proud man who had once been. “Edelgard…” He whispered softly, before his entire body swayed and shook. His attendants gently grasped his wrists, and guided him to the Imperial throne.</p><p>“It is done…” he gasped. “The Imperial succession is complete.” He gave his daughter a somber smile, keenly aware of the terrible burden he had now laid upon her. “I…I am sorry that I could not do more for you…” His aged lip began to quiver. “When you were stolen away to the Kingdom, when the Prime Minister did all those horrible things, I could only-“</p><p>He buried his face in his hands, unable to look his daughter in the eye a moment longer. Behind her, Edelgard could feel Byleth shifting uncomfortably. What must all this look like to her? This private, sad little drama of broken lives? Jeralt had been strength personified, so different than this shell of a man.</p><p>All she had wanted was her father to protect her…and he had not. The guilt he carried was unfathomable, but there was a terrible, broken trust, deep within her. It was not fair in the slightest…but that did not change that it existed. No, unjust as it was, Edelgard was the one who would have to bury her emotions again, for the good of another.</p><p>Her childhood had not passed as others did, juvenile dreams slowly passing into adult realities; instead, it had been torn from her violently, ripped up by the roots. Destroyed, just as El had been. The girl had become a woman in an instant, a house built on ramshackle foundations. It was yet another thing stolen from Edelgard’s life, like her memories and her faith and her hair. Now, the little girl was forced to again put on the false mask-this performance of a maturity she did not possess.</p><p>She said the words her father needed to hear. “I-I understand, Father. In those dark times, your eyes and your fists were my salvation.” Ionius’ body relaxed, as Edelgard ignored the dull ache in her scarred flesh. “In your eyes, I saw true care. And upon your fists clenched tight with indignity, I saw the blood that dripped and fell. Even as I bled…I felt that you, too, must also be bleeding.”</p><p>Ionius’ hands, so long and skeletal, extended outward. The new Emperor slowly stood, and made her way to what was now her throne. The old man gently massaged his daughter’s gloved fingers, and for a moment, the Flame Emperor closed her eyes. Perhaps this would be the last time they would ever-</p><p>“Your Majesty…”</p><p>Lilac eyes narrowed. <em>Him.</em></p><p>Of course they could not keep Duke Aegir away forever, the pudgy little toad. Of course he would ruin even this moment. Edelgard could feel every muscle in her body tense, her breathing quickening, her mind fragmenting. All she could see was darkness, and all she could smell was blood, and all she could feel was the rats biting on her fingers.</p><p>She turned, and looked at the face of the man who had tormented her, day after day, until time no longer had meaning. Who had soured every tiny piece of Edelgard’s life, and dared to laugh as her siblings had suffered. His rotund face was reddened from exertion. “You must not leave your sleeping chambers! In your condition…”</p><p>Edelgard stood between her father and this rodent in human skin, shielding him from the beady eyes and the arrogant little smirk he carried on his face. But she could not shield Ionius from that shrill, nasally voice…the one that haunted her dreams for so many nights.</p><p>He looked through the new Emperor, openly contemptuous. “Ah, Edelgard. I did not expect to find Your Highness here…do what do I owe…”</p><p>The Flame Emperor’s face lit up with a frightening, malevolent sneer. “Ah…but Prime Minister, I’m afraid you have misspoken. I am no longer ‘Your Highness…’” She leaned inward, coating each whispered word with an incalculable hatred. “Now, Ludwig…I am ‘Your Majesty.’”</p><p>Ludwig von Aegir stared at the Adrestian Emperor, unable, or perhaps unwilling, to comprehend what he had just heard. As his world fell to pieces, all the disgusting ruddiness in his fat cheeks was replaced by an ashen pallor. For a brief instant, he stood silently, before he sprang toward the Emperor.</p><p>“I-Impossible! I-“</p><p>A hand shot out, quicker than Edelgard could see, and Byleth’s fist drove into Duke Aegir’s windpipe. The man crumpled to the floor, breathing in ragged gasps, as the Ashen Demon loomed above him. Her green eyes were full of divine wrath. It reminded Edelgard of nothing more than Rhea herself.</p><p>“Don’t you <em>dare</em> touch her.”</p><p>For a moment, Aegir’s bulging eyes looked around the throne room for allies, for support, but every face was filled with loathing. The vermin extended his arms outward, utterly without shame, daring to beg the man whose children he had tortured. The words came out in a croak. “Your Majesty…this…it cannot be-“</p><p>Ionius leaned back on the throne. “It is true. Edelgard… is the new head of the Adrestian Empire. In fact…” His gaunt face lit up with delight, as coughs mingled with laughter. “We must…prepare an ordinance at once, Ludwig… thank you for reminding me. Even now…you perform your tasks as Prime Minister so ably.”</p><p>“But…I…I…”<br/>
<br/>
“You are <em>dismissed</em>.” Edelgard loomed over the Prime Minister. “It will be some time before you are allowed to make contact with the outside world again.”</p><p>“No!” Duke Aegir again sprang to his feet. “You don’t deserve it! I was the one who-“</p><p>“Maximillian. Agnes. Conrad. Hugh.” The names were listed off slowly, each one allowed to linger in the air. “Rupert. Margaret. Joanna.” As Edelgard said each name, slowly and dispassionately, her eyes blazed with an inhuman fire. “Frederick. Otto. Matilda.” As she stood above the man who ended all those lives for a title and wooden seat, her scarred arm gripped her dagger tightly.</p><p>“What did <em>they</em> deserve?”</p><p>She wanted to hurt him. Over and over, making him understand the agony he had caused her family firsthand. The Flame Emperor wanted to hear his pathetic pleas for mercy, to hear him beg to the Goddess for it all to stop, until despair took even that small, pathetic sliver of hope away from him. She wanted him to forget what it felt like to ever feel happiness. She wanted him to feel as broken as she felt every single day.</p><p>She thought back to her nightmares, a monstrous beast shedding its human skin. That was what lay inside her, if she allowed her pain to control her. She could be what Thales and Goddess and everyone else wanted-a villain, a weapon, that hurt and killed and punished…</p><p>But that was not who Edelgard wished to be. She tried to breathe. The girl had sworn an oath-to use her power for the good of Fódlan, not for private vengeance. She would not disgrace her family through senseless brutality, but use their memory as a flame, guiding her through the darkness.</p><p>It was what Aggie would have wanted.</p><p>“Ladislava.” The Flame Emperor’s voice was chilled to ice. “Take him away.”</p><p>The Imperial guard was upon the loathsome creature in an instant, all the fight fleeing from him. He lowered his head, allowing himself to be dragged away. The Emperor scoffed internally. How had such a pathetic coward fathered a man like Ferdinand?</p><p>As Ladislava and Duke Aegir’s backs disappeared from sight, Edelgard felt a hand grip her shoulder, strong and firm. The new ruler of Adrestia released the breath she had not realized she had been holding in.</p><p>As Byleth’s arm caressed her student, the Ashen Demon’s face shone with pride. She was there, as always. Her wings, lifting the Emperor out of the darkness.</p><p>“You did it.” Byleth whispered, before encircling the surprised Emperor in a warm and enthusiastic hug. ”I’m so proud of you.”</p><p>For a few moments, the girl under the crown felt all her sorrow and pain melt away, before the Ashen Demon let out a mortified yelp. Green eyes were full of panic as she released her student. “Oh! Edelgard…I’m sorry. You’re the Emperor now, and I shouldn’t do things like-“</p><p>Edelgard let out a confident laugh, trying to distract from the rose-red color of her cheeks. “I am the undisputed ruler of Adrestia…and we have already broken many age-old traditions today.” She rested a gloved hand on Byleth’s wrist. “Thank you for defending me again.”</p><p>“I always will.”</p><p>For a moment, there was a peaceful silence, before it was broken by an old man’s rasping cough.</p><p>“Your name is Byleth, correct?” Ionius stood, and slowly shuffled toward his daughter. “Thank you… for escorting her to the palace.”</p><p>The mercenary turned to Ionius, and bowed deeply. “Yes. I am Byleth Eisner. It is a pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty.” She lowered her head, only for the former Emperor to wave his hand dismissively.</p><p>“There is no reason for such things. Any woman my daughter would trust like this…” His body spasmed with a painful cough. “It is clear that you are…important to her.” For a moment, Ionius and Byleth’s eyes met, and they smiled, as if sharing a private joke.</p><p>“Edelgard, I am afraid there is much to be done before the day is through. And I think you may want to show your guest the castle gardens in the evening…the sunset…” He trailed off, as a look of peace fell over his haggard face.</p><p>“My teacher.” Edelgard shook her head, features stern. “I must beg for your indulgence. There are a few details that must be resolved before I can return with you to Garreg Mach.” And then suddenly, all the harshness fell away. “And I would like to show you the palace gardens…tonight. There is something I must discuss with you.”</p><p>Byleth’s eyes widened, but she did not otherwise react.</p><p>“Ladislava will escort you around the palace.” Edelgard straightened her back. “I…I look forward to seeing you this evening.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The Enbarr gardens had once been the most treasured place in Edelgard’s small universe. There were so many days…quiet mornings with Agnes amongst the tranquil spring flowers, summer games on the endless green of the castle lawn, and enchanting autumn nights watching the stars with her father.</p><p>She cherished it all-how the dirt and flowers would intermingle into a delicate symphony of scents. The way the carroty glow of the setting sun bounced off of the delicate blue of the palace fountains. And most of all, how even now, it made her feel as if she truly <em>was </em>El, and not just the imposter who had taken her place, and stolen her life.</p><p>The ghosts seemed to whisper all around the Emperor as she walked alone-past the flowers from Brigid and Dagda, and the many stone statues of Emperors long past. Edelgard was now a member of that esteemed group, and someday, perhaps, her own statue would join this assembly…the true Edelgard, the delicate little artist, long lost to history.</p><p>Did her ancestors have such suffocating doubts? Were they simply men and women playing dress-up, as Edelgard had done all day today? Were they as keenly aware that each statement, each stroke of the pen, changed and altered destinies? There was a crushing loneliness to it all. In a few weeks, the war would begin, and by her own words, thousands would die.</p><p>How could she dare to confide in others? Seek comfort, while knowing so many would never receive or provide comfort again? Fódlan was a diseased limb, marked by gangrene, and the only remedy was amputation. That did not change the reality of what Edelgard had done, and was still to do.</p><p>So, the Emperor walked alone among the ageless monuments, searching for the one woman who seemed to push all those fears and doubts aside. Edelgard’s eyes roamed up and down the benches that dotted the stone paths, until she saw a verdant flash of green.</p><p>Byleth’s attention was absorbed on the centerpiece of the garden, an ancient sculpture of Seiros and Wilhelm, the great liberators of Adrestia. It was so unlike the other monuments. They stood shoulder to shoulder, hands intertwined atop the Sword of Seiros, looking at each other with an expression of deep and abiding affection. No one knew who had sculpted the ancient statue, and many theological scholars considered the implications heretical.</p><p>Yet it had always been Edelgard’s favorite thing, in this entire garden of wonders.</p><p>Byleth, too, seemed deeply moved. As Edelgard sat down beside her teacher, the Ashen Demon pointed up at the shockingly gentle face of Saint Seiros. “I’ve never seen Saint Seiros look…so happy.”</p><p>The Emperor felt herself smile. “When I was a child, I adored Saint Seiros. She was <em>my</em> Saint, and she had given me <em>my </em>Crest…How could I not love her?” Edelgard leaned her head back, pulling her silver hair out of its ponytail. “But she always was portrayed as so…angry…and so <em>beyond</em> everything else. I loved this statue…she feels like a person, not an untouchable god.”</p><p>Byleth was quiet for a moment, looking up at the figures, as if there was some deeper truth she still had not discovered. Edelgard enjoyed the silence and quiet companionship, until the Ashen Demon’s words startled her.</p><p>“She loved him.”</p><p>Byleth’s arm pointed to Wilhelm, whose eyes communicated an immense intimacy and care. It was something that Edelgard had not fully appreciated until her teacher’s words. Byleth, as always, seemed to see what others could not. Everything about the two figures, from their expressions to their posture, communicated one stark truth; they only needed each other.</p><p>“I…” Edelgard began to laugh from the sheer boldness of the declaration. “You still manage to teach me new things. Even after all these months.”</p><p>Byleth nodded approvingly. “It’s my job.” Whether this was a joke or a sincere statement was impossible to determine, but either way, it sent the ruler of Adrestia into a fit of giggles.</p><p>The two women sat and felt the breeze gently wash over them. So much of the Flame Emperor’s life was about the grim realities she could not escape-the scars and the sins and the unanswered prayers-but when she was around Byleth, she always felt something different. She felt hope.</p><p>“Where are your siblings, Edelgard?” Byleth’s face softened. “I…visited the market with Ladislava, and I got some…” She gestured to the ground next to the bench, where a massive bouquet of flowers rested.</p><p>Edelgard gaped at this simple, magnificent gesture. How could this ridiculous woman just <em>do </em>these amazing things, without realizing the wonder that she was? Scarred, ruined hands encircled her Byleth, tightly, desperately, daring the world and the Goddess to try to pull them apart.</p><p>“My teacher…” The Emperor whispered. “You must understand something…”</p><p>Byleth was taken aback by the raw emotion in her normally reserved student’s voice and actions. Worry clouded her green eyes, as she touched Edelgard’s cheek. “What is it, Edelgard? Did I do something odd again?”</p><p>“No.” Edelgard shook her head vehemently. The stern, cold Flame Emperor blinked to dispel the tears in her eyes. After a moment, she regained her self-assurance. “You have told me so often that you are desperate for a purpose…and of your fears that there is something deeply flawed within you.”</p><p>The Ashen Demon’s face became like stone, as her most intimate anxieties were spoken aloud.</p><p>“There is <em>nothing </em>wrong with you my teacher. Your worth does not lie in some grand destiny, or in the sword that you wield.” Edelgard rubbed Byleth’s hand. “The kindness that resides within your heart is a greater treasure than all of the wealth in Enbarr.”</p><p>Byleth was accustomed to providing comfort, but not receiving it. She stared at her student for a few moments, before a single word emerged, her voice as vulnerable and as hopeful as Edelgard had ever heard.</p><p>“…Really?”</p><p>“Of course!” Edelgard gave her teacher a firm nod. “You are perfect, just the way you are.” She turned and looked toward the stars, as she felt the heat rise in her cheeks. “I don’t dare to talk to the Goddess…but if I did, I would thank Her, for allowing my destiny to become so deeply intertwined with yours.”</p><p>For a few minutes, Byleth stared at the sky, quietly absorbing her student’s heartfelt praise. Finally, she grasped the bouquet that lay next to her. “Tell me about them. All of them.”</p><p>The Emperor breathed deeply, before turning to her teacher with a quiet resolve in her lilac eyes.  “As you wish.”</p><p>For hours, they sat and talked. Edelgard shared stories she had not told another living soul: How Conrad had the most beautiful singing voice she had ever heard, and the time that Joanna had accidently set a tablecloth alight in the middle of a ball. Of Rupert’s skill with the sword, and Margaret’s gentleness. Of how much she loved and missed them all.</p><p>Byleth laughed and listened, the lonely mercenary clearly fascinated by the chaos and tumult of this large, loving family. After a madcap tale involving Maximillian’s pranks on a particularly ornery butler, the mercenary shook her head.</p><p>“I wish you’d told me about them sooner, Edelgard.”</p><p>The girl’s face darkened. “I don’t deserve to.” She raised her hand to Byleth’s objections. “I can’t even muster the strength to visit them,” Edelgard mumbled. “The Hresvelg mausoleum is underground, and I…I can’t go back in the dark again.”</p><p>“They understand-“<br/>
<br/>
“Do they?” Edelgard clenched her hands together. “After my mother was driven from court, my siblings could have shunned me. Abandoned me as a pariah. But yet they…” She covered her face with her white gloves. “Aggie raised me like a daughter, when my Crest destroyed her very standing. And this pathetic weakness is how I repay that love?”</p><p>“You’re…wrong, El.”</p><p>The mercenary and the Emperor whirled around at the unexpected noise. Ionius stood, supported by a wooden bench. “Forgive me…” he wheezed. “I was on a quiet walk when I heard El’s stories, and did not want to disrupt you.”</p><p>Byleth stood, and stepped toward Ionius. She gripped his aged hand gently, and smiled. “I am going to ride back to Garreg Mach with Edelgard tomorrow. Why don’t you two talk?”</p><p>Ionius began to protest, but the Ashen Demon rejected the concerns with a simple shake of the head. “Please, I lost my Papa a little while ago.” For an instant, her face was wracked with immense pain. “If there’s anything I wish I could have, it’s one more night with him.”</p><p>Without allowing any further objections, she strode away, radiant green hair disappearing into the darkness. Ionius carefully sat next to his daughter and smiled.</p><p>“I knew… we were similar, but I never imagined my daughter and I would…share a weakness for beautiful women.”</p><p>Edelgard tried to glare at him, but it quickly faded into laughter. “To me, the most important question is not whether a person is male or female, but instead the quality of their spirit, Father.”</p><p>“Well…” Ionius momentarily gasped for air. “If her actions today are any indication, you have picked an extraordinary spirit to fall in love with.” He shook his head. “I have…worried, for so many nights…about what you will do when I leave this world. I will see Anselma and my children once again…but you…”</p><p>Edelgard’s fist clenched. “I have resolved to be alone if I must. It is as you taught me: the Emperor must put personal happiness aside, for the good of Fódlan.”</p><p>Ionius shrugged his shoulders. “That…may be what I said as the Emperor….” His face contorted as he hacked and gasped for another breath of air. “But…that is not what I wish as a father for his daughter. For my El.”</p><p>He attempted to run his aged fingers through his daughter’s silver hair, only for her to recoil. “I’m…not that girl. I’m not your El.” She looked away. “My hair is a different color. I can barely remember much of my childhood. I…know you want the old El…but I don’t know how to bring her back. I’d do anything to-“</p><p>“No.” Ionius’ voice momentarily gained back its fierceness. “I loved the girl you were. She…she was the light of my life.” Ionius reached out, and held his daughter tightly. “And the thing I loved about her the most was her humanity. She believed…in people.”</p><p>Edelgard remained silent, sheltered in her father’s arms.</p><p>“Today… you could have killed the man who…” Ionius paused, emotions overwhelming his fragile body. “Who destroyed our lives. But you did not. You chose to act with integrity and fairness…using the crown not for personal satisfaction, but for justice.” He grasped El’s shoulders, and stared into her eyes. “I am immensely proud of you, El…and the woman you have become.”</p><p>“I wanted to kill him so terribly…and he…he deserves it.” Edelgard felt her voice begin to tremble. “For what he did to us. For years, I dreamed of it. It was the only way I could fall asleep…to imagine torturing him, night after night.” She turned and looked at her father. “I…hated that part of myself. What he had turned me into…and so today, I needed to prove him wrong. To show that I was not just a weapon of revenge, even if that is all I want to do. That I could be more.”</p><p>Edelgard looked up at the twinkling stars, the same stars that had once shown down on a girl with brown hair. That girl had innocently prayed for friends and love and joy, and been answered with loneliness and hatred and misery. She had deserved something better than the closed fist this cruel world had offered.</p><p>“I tried…to change Adrestia for the better.” Ionius looked immensely pained. “I failed…and in doing so, I lost everything. But the hardest thing…was watching my daughter lose her hope and love for this world. This…this Byleth…she has brought back the light in your eyes. Light that I believed I would never see again.”</p><p>“Father…I…”</p><p>“That has been my only prayer, for every day since…That the Goddess would give you the miracle that you deserved.” Ionius allowed his daughter to lean her head on his shoulder. “The one that I could not provide.”</p><p>Edelgard and Ionius sat and watched the night sky, just as they had once done, so long ago. For just a single, beautiful instant, the world felt safe again, and all the horror and desolation seemed to fade away, like a half-remembered nightmare. They were not royalty, but simply a father and a daughter. As they always should have been.</p><p>Edelgard felt her father’s body spasm from a particularly brutal cough, and she turned to him. The Emperor slowly pulled off the white glove that covered her mutilated, brutalized hand, feeling the brisk night air against her skin. She moved her bare fingers through his white hair and smiled.</p><p>“I love you, Dad.”</p><p>Ionius’ lip began to tremble, before he found the strength to respond.</p><p>“And I love you, El.”</p><p>As the moon shone down upon the ancient gardens of Enbarr, the light illuminated the last two Hresvelgs, all alone amongst the flowers and the ancient stone statues.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is a hugely important scene in the Crimson Flower route-you can't access Edelgard's route, unless you accompany her to the coronation. Why? Well, it's really about the decision here: sparing Aegir (which she does even if Byleth doesn't choose her house). It isn't just Edelgard who blames the man for her family's death, but Ionius as well. It really is a fantastic demonstration of Edelgard's true character (and wow, does it make the Ferdinand/Lysithea paralogue *incredibly* messed up).</p><p>In this story, which is really all about Edelgard healing from her PTSD/religious trauma, I've tried to present Edelgard's interior life as she makes these decisions. Her self-loathing, separating herself into pre- and post- trauma identities, and dissociative flashbacks/amnesia are all things that are presented (very well) in the game, but I've tried to expand upon them given the perspective shift from Byleth to Edelgard. </p><p>If you're going "wow, Edelgard and Byleth are kinda like Seiros and Wilhelm" just you wait. One of the coolest/cutest bits in this game is the DLC library stuff where Seiros cooked Wilhelm a private recipe.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. The Last Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Marianne von Edmund loved to spend her morning among the horses. It was not that she didn’t like people; not at all. Hilda was always fussing over her, Bernadetta was so understanding, she could talk to Ingrid for hours about horse care and grooming…And Ferdinand…The girl felt a blush rise in her cheeks.</p><p>“He’s so kind, Dorte.” Marianne whispered. “So driven…and yet all he talks about is how wonderful <em>I </em>am…” Dorte responded with an empathetic whinny. But Marianne could not forget the awful truth: all of her relationships were based on a terrible, selfish lie. For as long as she could remember, Marianne had known that someday, she would have to kill herself. The dangers posed by her Crest were too great, and the faithful girl understood her duties as a follower of Saint Seiros.</p><p>For years, she had prayed. Night after night, begging the Goddess to forgive her for whatever wrong she had done, until her head ached and her body was covered in sweat. To take this awful hidden part of herself away, and make Marianne feel whole. To not feel so dreadfully ugly. The Goddess never responded. She supposed that was part of the divine punishment, too.</p><p>The horses did not judge her, or look at her with wariness and disdain, or whisper about the curse of her Crest, like people did. They just let her be, as if existing was enough, and that was a great and tremendous gift. Sometimes, Marianne felt so at peace, that she even began to forget how abominable she truly was. How within her blood hid a beast. A hidden power that threatened Ferdinand and Hilda and everyone else she loved.</p><p>She was a monster-that was all she’d ever be.</p><p>“And how is Dorte this fine morning?”</p><p>Marianne spun around, to see her house leader leaning against the wooden gate. The healer felt her body go rigid. Edelgard was everything that Marianne was not. Dignified. Confident. Beautiful. And yet, Edelgard would insist on gardening with Marianne every weekend. It was baffling…what did such a radiant person see within her?</p><p>“I…um…hello, Edelgard. Why…why are you visiting the stables today?”</p><p>Marianne watched the Adrestian leader open the gate with impeccable poise. “Ferdinand told me you often spent the mornings here, and I felt it would be nice to pay a visit. After all, Dorte has been a tremendous asset in our past few battles.” She reached out a gloved hand, only to startle as Dorte shook his head.</p><p>Marianne let out a nervous squeak of a laugh. “You’ve never really spent time with horses, have you?” As soon as she realized the impropriety of her statement, she covered her mortified face with her hands. “Oh…I’m so sorry, that was-“</p><p>Edelgard brushed it off with her usual confidence, which Marianne so deeply envied. “You are correct. I have never truly considered myself skilled in cavalry techniques.” She shook her head. “People like you and Sylvain…I find it deeply impressive.”</p><p>Marianne felt her mind go blank. “You…you find me impressive?”</p><p>“Of course.” Edelgard turned with a look of surprise. “You are a tremendous healer, and your bond of complete trust with Dorte is…” She looked at Marianne’s companion with a wistful expression. “I wonder what that would feel like…”</p><p>“Um…Edelgard…what do you-“</p><p>“Oh…nothing. Just a passing thought.” She turned and gave her classmate a self-assured smile. “Can you show me how you care for them? I must admit to some curiosity, and with my time at Garreg Mach almost at an end...”<br/>
<br/>
Marianne nearly burst with delight. Edelgard von Hresvelg, the Emperor of Adrestia, wanted to learn from her? From useless old Marianne von Edmund? The girl that even her parents had cast aside? Marianne heard Dorte give a comforting neigh, and began to laugh.</p><p>“He…he likes you, Edelgard.” She handed her stunned and pleased classmate a brush, and began to gently groom Dorte’s shining coat. “Now, this is something that a lot of people don’t know, but I always…”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Hubert von Vestra was a man who defined his disciplined, logical life on a regimented system of order and control. There were many lessons he had learned from his father-untraceable poisons and where to stab a knife to inflict the most pain. How to remain concealed in the shadows, and the way to slice a man’s throat in a single, smooth movement. But the most essential thing that Hubert learned from his father was the importance of priorities.</p><p>“Your own life does not matter.” Count Vestra had conveyed that idea over and over again to his young son. Hubert would be instructed in reason magic until he could barely stand, given surprise drills to test his understanding of antitoxins, or a hundred other tasks to ensure his readiness for the position into which Hubert had been born.</p><p>“At any time, you may be called upon to defend those you serve with your life.” Hubert’s father had spoken the words as if they were the most evident things in the world-as if he were simply pointing out that the sky was blue, or the grass beneath their feet was green. “To do so, your existence must be neat and tidy. Avoid emotional attachments. The enemy that knows who you care for already has been given an advantage.”</p><p>Hubert had looked at his father, trying to hide the hurt that consumed his insides. “Does that mean you don’t care for Mother? Or for me?”</p><p>Count Vestra had laughed at his son’s earnest statement, even though there was nothing about it that Hubert felt was funny at all. “No, my son. I care for you very, very much. But if I was forced to choose between saving you, or the life of those I serve…” He had placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, in a disastrous attempt to be comforting. “I would let you die, every time. I would kill you myself, if I must. Someday, I hope you understand why.”</p><p>It had taken years, and the agony of watching powerlessly as El was mutilated and tortured, but Hubert finally did understand. There was nothing else except making Lady Edelgard’s dreams come to fruition, and every single piece of the man’s life-every murder, bribe and wanton cruelty-was oriented toward that great, all-consuming task.</p><p>He was a shadow-that was all he’d ever be.</p><p>So the day before the ceremony in the Holy Tomb, when Edelgard and the forces of the Empire would stage a raid on the very heart of Garreg Mach, Hubert was deeply distressed to find his liege missing from her room. He paced, and he scowled, and he muttered to himself, until the Adrestian Emperor appeared in the doorway.</p><p>“Lady Edelgard,” Hubert bowed deeply. “Where have you been? I have been awaiting your orders on how to proceed with the troop-“</p><p>She stood with that familiar confidence and coldness that broke Hubert’s heart every time he witnessed it. He remembered when El would giggle, with a gentle sweetness that made his heart soar. She had been so pure. So good. The one light in Hubert’s dark and lonely existence. But he had let them hurt her…and now she never laughed.</p><p>“I was visiting Marianne in the stables. I have an assignment for you.” She looked out the window at a passing bird, before her gaze returned to earthly concerns. “You are to take the rest of the day off, and if I so much as see you performing a single task on my account…” She crossed her arms, and glared at him. “You will be reprimanded harshly.”</p><p>Hubert gaped at the center of his world with complete bewilderment. “The day before-” Edelgard nodded. “Even though-“ She nodded again. “But you must be aware that-“</p><p>“I am aware. This is the last day. There will be time for toil and grief later on, as you and I know all too well.” She walked toward her desk, and rested a gloved hand on the solid wood. “I have taken your life from you, Hubert…giving you back a single day is no recompense at all.” Edelgard walked toward the door, and briefly stopped. “Bernadetta is in the greenhouse. Although she is unaware of what is to come, I believe she would like to see you.”</p><p>Edelgard left a stunned Hubert alone, a man momentarily freed from the chains of love and devotion that had ensnared his entire life.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I am not having the understanding!” Even Petra Macneary, the endlessly patient and kind Princess of Brigid, had her limits. She had been struggling with the flowery, ornate language in a book of Adrestian diplomatic policy, and could take no more.</p><p>The few Church officials and students in the library shot her an annoyed glare, causing the princess to blush. She tried to ignore the whispers, repeating the same jeers she had heard so many times.</p><p>“Why can’t she talk like a normal person?”</p><p>“Probably too stupid to understand the language…”</p><p>“Can’t she just go back where she came from?”</p><p>They could never understand what it was like to hear the halting sound of your voice in a strange tongue. There was so much that Petra wanted to say. To share and express with her friends…with Hubert and Ferdinand and Byleth…and Dorothea.</p><p>She wanted to tell her friends how deeply she cared for them. How being among them made her feel as free as diving into the clear blue oceans of her homeland. How they made the aching yearning for green forests and rushing waterfalls disappear. How when Dorothea sang, it was a sound more beautiful than the great and colorful songbirds of Brigid.</p><p>The words were trapped in quicksand, their beauty locked away in Petra’s heart. Petra practiced diligently, but the Fódlan tongue could never be her language…and this could never truly be her home.</p><p>And yet, most of Petra’s life was spent here. Stolen away from her family and country as a spoil of war, a captive of Adrestia. The princess did everything possible to honor her people-studied and toiled to be the greatest leader she could be. A ruler for a country she had not seen in years. Each day, week, month and year that passed without speaking her own language…each moment she enjoyed the ancient beauty of Garreg Mach…Petra could not help but feel she had betrayed Brigid. Petra was a woman who loved two countries, and yet truly belonged to none.</p><p>She was an outsider-that was all she’d ever be.</p><p>“Hello, Petra.”</p><p>The Brigid princess turned, and saw the first friend she had ever made in this country. Edelgard leaned over the table, and took a quick glance at her classmate’s research.</p><p>“Oh, Petra, that book is horrifically dry. Hold on a moment.”</p><p>Petra wanted to object, but she knew better than to try to stop her friend from fretting over her. She was all too aware of the silent guilt that Edelgard carried in her heart for Petra’s captivity…and the strange bond that the two women shared.</p><p>Edelgard was the only person who could truly understand the burdens that Petra shouldered. The duties and compromises and pressures that kept the two women awake at night. How their countries must always be their first and foremost concern; even with a friendship and trust as deep and enduring as the one between these two women.</p><p>Edelgard returned to the table, and placed a stack of books down. “These also deal much more with Dagdan relations, so I think you’ll find them rather…” She paused, and began to laugh. “I’m sorry, Petra, the last thing you need is me lecturing to you like a child.”</p><p>Petra gave a false smile, fully aware that what her grandfather wanted was to destroy the Empire…to tear away the invisible knife held against Petra’s throat. Petra realized that someday, perhaps, Edelgard and Petra’s bond would fall in the face of their respective ambitions. It brought immense sorrow to the Brigid princess’ heart.</p><p>“You know I can be solving the problems on my own…” said Petra in a teasing, lyrical voice.</p><p>“Of course.” Edelgard nodded abruptly. “You know how deeply I respect you. You dutifully shoulder your burdens in the face of immense pressure.” She lowered her head. “I remember your face the day we met. You were so frightened…and I…I don’t like to see people in chains.”</p><p>Petra’s head tilted in confusion. Her friend said the oddest things sometimes. “I was never in the chains.”</p><p>Edelgard’s eyes seemed to go distant for a moment, before she regained her usual conviction. “Think nothing of it. Oh…” She stood and began to root around in her pocket. “These are for you.” She presented a tiny bag, and placed it in the surprised princess’ palm.</p><p>“Edelgard. What is this thing you are giving me?”</p><p>A rosy flush appeared on the house leader’s cheeks. “I was in Enbarr recently, and the palace gardens…they have flowers from Brigid…not many, but I was able to obtain some seeds. I thought you might…well, I thought you’d like to have a piece of your-”</p><p>Petra leapt out of her seat with an easy grace, and wrapped her arms around the shocked Emperor. The girl said a silent prayer of thanks to the Spirits of Wind that they had brought such kindness into her life. She could feel Edelgard’s body tense from the contact, and looked into her friend’s eyes.</p><p>“I am being grateful, Edelgard. I am having the greatest happiness that we are knowing each other.” She placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “You are never showing it, but you are having a heart as big as the ocean. I am making you a promise: we will be working together for many years to come.”</p><p>For a moment, Petra thought she saw a look of terrible pain flitter across the Adrestian Emperor’s face. The princess blinked, and it was gone, and Edelgard had a proud, confident smile on her stern features.</p><p>“I agree, Petra. I look forward to building that future together.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It was all so <em>dreadfully </em>uninteresting, thought Linhardt. Why did he have to pretend to care about sieges and taxes and all the thousands of other little problems that consumed the people around him? Linhardt von Hevring lived his life by one single, guiding belief-one that allowed him to ignore all the turmoil that welled inside him: run away from things you find unpleasant.</p><p>When Linhardt was young, his father had brought him to an Imperial military training exercise, presumably to inspire some excitement and civic pride in his layabout of a son. All Linhardt could remember was the utter stupidity of it all-the flags and the swords and the oaths-all in service to meaningless death and brutality. He saw the veterans from the Dagdan War limping on their disfigured legs, and the men missing arms. It had kept Linhardt awake for days, and even retreating to the safety and comfort of his beloved books could not completely push the images out of his mind.</p><p>That was the reason that Linhardt could now be found lying in the gazebo in the gardens of Garreg Mach, avoiding the training exercises he was supposed to be taking part in with Caspar. He loved that lummox, but just the thought of fighting made him feel ill. The pointlessness of it all… The healer stared down at Professor Hanneman’s newest Crest research-his most recent obsession, and the cause of a week of sleepless nights. However, lately, he could not even find joy even in the subject of his beloved Crests. Not since-</p><p>He thought of beautiful silver hair, and enchanting pink eyes, and the terrible fate he had discovered while idly perusing some of Professor Hanneman’s research. It all made sense. Her physical weakness, her love of sweets…Why did it bother him so much? Why was this the one pain from which he could not flee, or drown in scholarship and ancient tomes?</p><p>He had asked her about it, and Lysithea had threatened to remove his head with a Hades Ω spell, and that had been that. He supposed that was to be expected-he had spent a lifetime carefully ensuring that no one would ever expect anything of him, so it was little surprise that he would be rebuffed so ferociously. Why should anyone believe that the man who ran from every unpleasant thing in his life would actually help?</p><p>He was a coward-that was all he’d ever be.</p><p>“Why am I not surprised to find you here?” The voice was harsh and irritable, and upon hearing it, Linhardt let out a long, loud sigh.<br/>
<br/>
“Are you ever surprised by me, Edelgard? You love to play the role of my nagging mother so often, I would have thought there was nothing left to be astonished by.” He returned his face to his book, eager to avoid a lecture from the house leader who expected so much from him.</p><p>Her gloved hands pushed Linhardt’s text downward. “I have something we must discuss. Now.” Linhardt looked up, to see Edelgard holding a vial of red liquid…one that looked almost like…Linhardt felt himself grow woozy.</p><p>“Is…is that…bl-?”</p><p>“Yes. Now please focus, we don’t have much time.” Edelgard crossed her arms, clearly irritated beyond belief. “I know that your studies have lately been concentrated in the area of individuals with two Crests…”</p><p>Linhardt yawned loudly. “Hubert continues to earn his pay. Is there a point to this?”</p><p>The Emperor turned her back to Linhardt, causing the boy to wonder what thoughts flowed through that firm, unyielding mind. “I will not waste your time with games. I have the greatest respect for your talent, and know how gifted you truly are.” She paused, and her back rose and fell as she took a deep breath. “Lysithea.”</p><p>Linhardt shook his head. “Yes. Brilliant mind, fantastic mage, rather disagreeable attitude. What about her?”</p><p>“I want your focus to be on finding…a cure for her condition. There is no one else-not even Professor Hanneman-whom I would trust more.” She thrust the vial toward him. “This is a sample of the blood of an individual with two Crests. Do not dare to ask me how I obtained it.”</p><p>Linhardt’s mind waged a ferocious war between his lifelong antipathy for blood and the potential breakthroughs this phial contained. Finally, his curiosity won out, and reached out his hand to take the flask.</p><p>Edelgard’s hand pulled it back. “You must promise me something. You cannot run away from this. If you flee from this task, she will die. You will carry that guilt for the rest of your life…and there will be nowhere you can escape such an agony.”</p><p>“You can’t seriously believe that I-“</p><p>“I can and I do.” Edelgard shoved the vial in his hands, and began to walk away. She stopped, and turned back to Linhardt for a brief instant. “I know we bicker. But please…Lysithea…we both care…”</p><p>Linhardt stood, and gathered his materials. “Edelgard…I must be going. This is a potential breakthrough, and I don’t have time to listen to you blather on and on.” Just before he left, he turned back to his house leader. “Thank you…for coming to me.”</p><p>The leader of the Black Eagles gave a dismissive shrug. “Of course. Think nothing of it.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Bernadetta von Varley was upset. It went beyond the fear and anxiety that she lived with every day, the alarm bells that warned her constantly of danger. No, today was worse.</p><p>Bernadetta was used to bad days, even if she could not explain why they were bad. Understanding her own emotions was like trying to comprehend the mercurial moods of her father. Some days, her father had beaten her over and over, until Bernadetta could not even muster the strength to protest. Some days, he had tied her to a chair for hours, daring her to make noise. And some days, he refused to acknowledge her very presence, simply glaring at her as if she were a particularly pungent piece of garbage. Those days were possibly the worst of all.</p><p>The archer had found remedies that helped-she would walk with Marianne, who seemed to understand like no else did; share her stories for Sylvain, who would effusively praise her writing until blushes formed on the recluse’s cheeks; and sit quietly with Hubert in the secluded corners of Garreg Mach, in whose protective shadow she dared to feel secure.</p><p>But for whatever reason, none of those tonics had worked today, and so she sat in her room, feeling the air rushing out of her lungs in rapid gasps. A sketchbook sat next to her, her latest attempt at a still life of a carnivorous plant half-completed. Why was she so useless? It was just as her father had said so often. Bernadetta was weak and strange and plain and hopeless and stupid and…and…</p><p>She grasped her head in frustration, feeling a familiar, all-consuming despair well up inside her. She would always be like this, wouldn’t she? The strange girl with even stranger quirks, too terrified to ever be anything but a burden to her friends. The sad thing was…she had actually believed she was getting better. Yet another way she was a terrible disappointment.</p><p>She was a victim-that was all she’d ever be.</p><p>The knock on the door to her room caused the girl to squeal in fear.</p><p>“Bernadetta. It’s Edelgard. I would like to come in.”</p><p>As in every conversation in Bernie’s life, there was the constant running monologue in her head, warning the dire consequences of every action. <em>It’s obvious what this means</em>, said the voice with a firmness that seemed to drown Bernadetta’s brain in a torrent of noise and anxiety. <em>She’s heard about how you’ve behaved today, and she’s sending you back…to him. She’s the Emperor now…she probably was just putting on an act until you-“</em></p><p>The archer shook her head. She knew what Edelgard was like. She was tough and strong, and a little scary, but she always helped the recluse whenever she asked. Edelgard may have sighed and grumbled, but Bernadetta noticed the things that others did not.</p><p>How Edelgard would silently accompany her on those terrifying walks from Bernadetta’s room to the dining hall. How during house meetings, she would always stand between Bernie and the entrance. Her house leader never said a word, but those quiet acts of kindness…Bernadetta breathed deeply, reached out a trembling hand, and unlocked the door.</p><p>Edelgard stood, laden down with pencils, drawing parchment, easels and so many more art supplies. Without another word, she marched across the room, and placed them on her classmate’s desk.</p><p>“…Edelgard…” gasped the stunned archer. “W-what…what is this?”</p><p>“I…have a number of art supplies.” Edelgard clenched her fists. “They…there was a mistake when ordering from the Imperial convoy, and I…” She gave Bernadetta a tense smile, the archer sensing immense pain underneath that powerful façade. “I know you will make good use of them.”</p><p>Bernadetta began to look through the materials. These were incredibly fine quality-beyond even what a noble of the Empire was accustomed. As the archer flipped through one of the sketchbooks, a stray sheet of paper fell to the floor.</p><p>It was an illustration of Professor Byleth, leaning against the stone ramparts of Garreg Mach, a beautiful smile on her lips. The sun was setting behind her, and the Sword of the Creator dangled from her hip. Bernadetta had never seen eyes captured with such devotion. It was astonishing, how love seemed to permeate every piece of the drawing.</p><p>A gloved hand snatched the paper off the floor, the Emperor’s reddened face betraying her deep embarrassment at being caught in a lie. Bernadetta said the only words that came to her stunned mind: “It’s b-beautiful, Edelgard.”</p><p>“Hmm.” The Emperor turned away from her friend. “I suppose. Regardless…as I assume my position, I doubtless will have less time for personal hobbies…” Bernadetta watched as Edelgard ran her hands through her silver hair and sighed. “You have great talent, Bernadetta. Please share it with the world.”</p><p>“I can’t…I can’t take your things, Edelgard.” For a moment, Bernadetta’s voice lacked its usual tremor. “You can’t just…” The words failed her.</p><p>“I insist.” The Emperor paused in the entryway to her classmate’s room, and for an instant, she was the loneliest person that Bernadetta had ever seen. “When you make something beautiful…I hope that you will think of me.” Bernadetta could only watch silently as Edelgard left, gently closing the door behind her.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Caspar von Bergliez was lost. Not in the physical sense, although that happened more often than the young brawler would like to admit. Instead, Caspar was adrift. Even a child as hardheaded as Caspar realized very quickly his place in the family hierarchy-he was the Crestless second son of Count Bergliez, one of the greatest warriors of the Empire. Any destiny that the boy seized would be of his own making.</p><p>And he honestly preferred it that way-not having to answer to anyone or anything, free from the pressures and expectations that so many other nobles faced. His life was a blank canvas, and Caspar was determined to fill it with tales of bravery and valor-his own personal legend. Yet there had always been one guiding light for the young man as he searched for his purpose.</p><p>Before coming to Garreg Mach, the great Thunder Catherine was Caspar’s hero. Wielder of Thunderbrand, the greatest knight of the Church of Seiros, defender of the weak and downtrodden. It had been the greatest thrill of Caspar’s young life to work alongside her and the rest of the Knights of Seiros.</p><p>But the reality was so different than he had envisioned. He still remembered the mission against Lord Lonato’s troops, putting down a scared and undermanned militia. Lately, he didn’t feel like a defender of justice. He felt like a bully. He had gone to Catherine for advice, only to be frightened and disgusted by what he heard.</p><p>Catherine had said she would kill a child if Lady Rhea commanded it…and that Caspar’s ideals were a liability. That he should devote himself completely to the Goddess. Caspar was not a boy easily alarmed, but it scared him. His entire life he had searched for meaning…a grand purpose of his own choosing. Had he been wrong all along?</p><p>He sank down against the wall, staring out at Garreg Mach’s pond. He always seemed to cause trouble for everyone with his antics-Professor Byleth, Edelgard…Heck, even that strange girl Monica was always moaning about him, when she wasn’t watching him with that weird look on her face. Picking fights, getting reprimanded by Hubert for yelling too loudly in battle…</p><p>He was a troublemaker…that was all he’d ever be.</p><p>The boy was shaken from this rare spell of doubt by a flash of silver. He looked up, to see Edelgard looming above him. Despite himself, Caspar could not help but grumble. “Come to lecture me more about your big plans for the future?”</p><p>His house leader shook her head slowly. “No. As I have told you before, you are far from the victim I once supposed you to be. But something is clearly troubling you.” She sank down next to him, watching as the afternoon sun shone in the cool blue waters below.</p><p>“Edelgard, do you think my ideals…slow me down?”</p><p>The Emperor turned and looked at him with surprise. “I must confess that I do not understand.”</p><p>“Catherine has…well, she told me that I needed to surrender myself to…to someone else’s will, and follow orders. That I needed to devote my heart and my sword to something bigger than…”<br/>
<br/>
The boy was startled by Edelgard shooting to her feet. “That. Is. <em>Nonsense</em>!” For a moment, Caspar watched the Emperor pace frantically, her hand grasping the dagger on her belt, before she knelt before him. “What would you do, if you disagreed with one of my orders?”</p><p>Caspar laughed heartily. “I wouldn’t do it!”</p><p>The stern features of the house leader lit up with a smile. “Exactly. And that is why I want you by my side. A leader or a god who demands blind obedience is unworthy of being followed.” She reached out her hand to pull Caspar to his feet. “Once, a friend of mine gave me this dagger, and the wisest advice I have ever received: to cut my own path.”</p><p>Caspar accepted Edelgard’s hand, feeling both his body and spirit begin to rise up.</p><p>“We are very different people, Caspar, yet when I look at you-a man who decided that he would not let any obstacle keep him from his own chosen path-I am filled with admiration.” Caspar felt himself begin to blush at Edelgard’s words. “Fight for your own future, Caspar. Not Catherine's.” The Emperor placed a hand on her classmate’s shoulder, before she began to walk away.</p><p>“Then…then I’ll fight for you!” Caspar bellowed, the sound echoing off the ancient stone steps. “I’ll cut a path, and you can follow behind!” He watched Edelgard’s body go rigid, but she did not turn around.</p><p>“I…be careful what you say, Caspar. I have much greater faith in your ideals than in my own character.”</p><p>Caspar waved his arm, eager to dispel any possible objections. “Well, if you get out of line, you better be prepared for the power of Inferno Caspar! I’ll have to set you straight myself!” He began to laugh heartily.</p><p>Edelgard gave the young man a curious little smile, one that confused the second son of Count Bergliez even further.</p><p>“Yes, Caspar, I am confident that you will.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“You know, Edie, when you asked me for tea, I had to pinch myself.” Dorothea daintily covered her mouth as she giggled, a reflex fashioned from years of flirtatious dinners and late-night rendezvous. “I’m usually the one who has to pull you out of your stuffy little meetings.”</p><p>She looked across the table, as Edelgard took an elegant sip from her porcelain teacup, before returning it to the table. “I felt I owed you an apology, for stealing away to Enbarr without informing you…” Edelgard let out a quiet laugh. “And then I found out that Ingrid told you.”</p><p>Dorothea gave her classmate a sly grin. “You two are my little projects. If a girl like me is lucky enough to have such dear and beautiful friends…well, I simply can’t let one of them run off and become Emperor without my approval.”</p><p>There was an awkward pause. Dorothea hated the sound of silence. When she was flirting with all those disgusting, pathetic men…she knew the worst thing possible was silence. They wanted to be entertained. To have a charming young creature laugh and titter at their every vapid utterance-it was yet another role the girl had become adept at playing. She filled the emptiness inside her with a nervous laugh.</p><p>“Did…did I say something wrong, Edie? I know I-“</p><p>“Why do you consider yourself lucky, Dorothea?” Edelgard’s voice had a strange edge to it. “You are just as worthy to be Ingrid’s friend, or mine, as anyone else at this academy.”</p><p>The diva felt her breathing stop, and she began to stammer. “I…well…that’s…” And then, just as quickly as her embarrassment had arrived, it curdled into anger. Underneath all the beautiful dresses and elegant perfume, there was a little girl who was raised on the street. Who scratched and fought and stole, just to find her next meal. It was that girl that lashed out at the Emperor.</p><p>Dorothea knew her purpose. She had learned it at a young age, when the same men who had once kicked and spit on her began to shower the girl with gifts and praise. She was a trifle, a bauble…a gaudy little accessory. Every time she was pinched and squeezed and touched by a noble with entitled hands, it had only further defined Dorothea’s place in the universe.</p><p>She was a trophy-that was all she’d ever be.</p><p>“Cut the nonsense, Edie!” Dorothea shot to her feet. “I’m not like you or Ing, and you damn well know it!” She thought of the whispers from the guards, and her angelic face contorted with pain. “I don’t deserve to be here. I’m not smart or strong or driven, I’m just a selfish little girl, using her looks and voice as a meal ticket!”</p><p>Edelgard was silent for a moment, her face unwavering. She took another sip of her tea. “You’re the center of the Black Eagles, Dorothea. I may lead, but you hold everyone-“</p><p>“Oh, please. I, more than anyone, know idle flattery when I see it.” The diva awkwardly returned to her seat. “I don’t know what it’s like to live for anyone besides myself. Even Lin has his Crests…” She took off her hat and held it. “All I have is my beauty and my voice…and when those are gone…why would any of you ever think about little old me?”</p><p>The words, coated with years of self-loathing and guilt, hung in the air.</p><p>“I…used to go to the opera often…” Edelgard’s forceful voice almost seemed to waver. “With a family member who mattered a great deal to me. And…and then he…” She looked up at the sky. “For years, I refused to go back. Until the night I was given tickets to your performance.”</p><p>Dorothea was motionless, hanging on every word from the Emperor.</p><p>“When I heard you sing…all the beauty and pain you put into every word…It was like he was there, with me again. An absurd notion, but for one night…the past was…it didn’t seem so far away.” She shook her head, and the familiar sternness returned. “I will remember it as long as I live. My life is about harsh realities-policies and compromises and decrees. I can do many things, but I cannot lift a person’s soul like you lifted mine that night. I hope you will not undervalue your gifts, or the beauty of your spirit.”</p><p>Dorothea’s eyes welled with tears. “Goddess, Edie…you really do know how to flatter a girl don’t you? If you and the Professor weren’t so…” She intertwined her index and middle finger. “Maybe I’d be chasing you instead…”</p><p>Edelgard began to blush and waved her hand. “Preposterous. And even so…” She gave an awkward cough, which the songstress found immensely adorable. “What opera of my life would be complete without the character of Dorothea?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Today, despite his best efforts, the greatness of Ferdinand von Aegir was <em>not </em>revealing itself. He had shattered his favorite lance while training. He had dropped a teacup while dining with Hubert. He even had misspoken while leading daily prayers. It was mortifying, and utterly unbecoming of a noble such as himself. He was an <em>Aegir</em>.<br/>
<br/>
He could only imagine what his father would say if he could see his son. Since birth, Ferdinand had been taught the rich history of his family-from the great Derick von Aegir all the way to the present day. The Hresvelgs may have ruled the Empire, but the Aegirs were given the momentous task of guiding the Hresvelgs. Ferdinand had known his place since he was a child-as the one legitimate son, he would succeed his father as the Prime Minister.</p><p>It was his purpose. His reason for being, imbuing his life with meaning and direction. His father had spared no expense-Ferdinand was given the best education, the freshest meals, the finest clothes. Every day, he strove to live up to the grand legacy bestowed upon him.</p><p>There was nothing else for Ferdinand to do-Ludwig von Aegir had made that exceptionally clear. One day, after young Ferdinand had been bucked from his steed, his father had pulled him aside.</p><p>“You aren’t good enough.” He had flatly stated over Ferdinand’s apologies. “Every time you fail, you disappoint not only me, but your ancestors.” He had leaned forward, and put his arm around the boy. “Two hundred years from now, no one will remember our names, or our faces, or anything else about us…but the House of Aegir…it will <em>endure.</em> Do you dare to be the weak link in that glorious chain?”</p><p>He was an Aegir-it was who he <em>must </em>be.</p><p>It had fueled the young boy ever since. Through each failure and disappointment, it had propelled him forward with unstoppable optimism. But lately…doubt had begun to creep into his mind. It had been so simple. He had seen a lonely girl searching for direction, and Ferdinand had decided to help with typical panache. But now things were so very different. When he saw the joy in Marianne’s face…</p><p>One day, as the two galloped in the ancient forests near Garreg Mach, she had asked him a simple question. Why did he talk so much about his family? Ferdinand had explained it all. The proud legacy, the demands of his birthright, and his silent fears of never surpassing Edelgard.</p><p>And she had shook her head, and laughed quietly, and told him she did not care about his birthright or family, or whether he surpassed Edelgard at all. That just being Ferdinand was enough for her. And as Ferdinand looked at her radiant smile…perhaps he was beginning to believe that as well.</p><p>Mind clouded with doubt and visions of blue hair, Ferdinand had begun to aimlessly wander the grounds of Garreg Mach. The future Prime Minister was so preoccupied, he walked right into the woman against whom he defined his life.</p><p>“Oh, hello Edelgard,” he mumbled. “I have been meaning to ask you a question. When you were at Enbarr, did you see my father? I normally receive a weekly letter from him, demanding an update on my progress, but it has not arrived.”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “I…have not discussed it with him. I am sure he has other things on his mind.”</p><p>Ferdinand gave a distracted nod, and began to walk away, only to feel a gloved hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“Is that all I get? No challenges to a duel, or a proclamation of my imminent defeat? What has happened to my greatest rival?” She gave Ferdinand an awkward grin, and if the young man was honest, hearing Edelgard joke was…deeply unsettling.</p><p>“There is no need to mock me. I am fully aware that the disparity between the two of us is obvious.” Ferdinand placed his hands behind his back. “If I cannot truly challenge you, then there is little reason for me to continue flailing about in your shadow, disgracing my bloodline.”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head with immense violence. “No.” She marched forward, and jammed a white glove in his face. “Your bloodline means nothing…less than nothing to me. Your father…” She paused, and took a deep breath, as if settling a terrible interior conflict. “I want to be your friend because of who <em>you</em> are, not because of your family.”</p><p>For a moment, they stood, the Black Eagle house leader glaring up at her future Prime Minister. Finally, she grabbed his hand, and began to drag him toward the Great Hall.</p><p>“Edelgard!” called the boy in shock. “I must demand that you desist at once!“</p><p>The girl refused to turn back or respond to his protests. “You are challenging me to one of your silly contests. Right now.” For a moment, she stopped. “I suppose I’ve grown used to your foolish antics, and I’m going to-“ She trailed off with a sigh, leaving Ferdinand von Aegir deeply confused, before she began to pull on his arm with even greater ferocity.</p><p>A new fire burned in Ferdinand’s eyes. “As you wish, Edelgard. Soon, I will surpass you, and prove my superiority once and for all!”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Killing the green-haired boy with the glasses-Iggy or whatever his name was-would be <em>so easy.</em>  He was all by himself, sketching by the pond, and the directions mechanically droned through Kronya’s head: <em>Smash his head into the wall. While he’s stunned, drive a knife into his chest, then dump the body in the water. It’ll be done in five seconds. They’ll never figure out what happened.</em></p><p>Kronya liked to kill. When she had been raised in the darkness, dreaming of the light, Thales had praised her for her talents. No one had ever praised her for anything before that. She still remembered standing there, holding her bloody knife, as Thales smiled with such pride in his eyes…</p><p>It was the only thing about her that mattered-if she killed enough, she saw the sun. If she hesitated, someone else would kill her. There was a simple logic to it all: the most brutal survived, and the weakest fell. It made sense. Killing was the only thing Kronya could control, and she had resolved to be the best killer she could be.</p><p>But Edel had told her not to kill, and now she did whatever Edel told her to do.</p><p>It had all changed when she found out that all her devotion to Thales had meant nothing. All the surgeries and the murders hadn’t made him love her. That she was always supposed to be a sacrifice and a tool. That Edel had been right about everything. And now these lowly beasts had saved her. That man Jeralt had <em>died </em>for her. The Black Eagles talked to her as if she was one of them. <em>Why?</em></p><p>It was unthinkable. Repulsive. She was an Agarthian, growing… <em>attached</em> to these strange little creatures! Edel, the teacher Byleth, that knight Ingrid, and that ridiculous blue-haired boy who made Kronya feel so peculiar…</p><p>Still, it was all pointless. Once they saw the real her…the pale skin underneath the girl whose face she had stolen…it would all be over. She couldn’t go back to Thales, and so she scurried about like a rat in a trap. In the end, she’d be sent back where she belonged-into the chaos and the blood and the…the darkness.</p><p>She was an assassin. That was all she’d ever be.</p><p>She felt her hand twitch as she stared at boy with the glasses. Kronya steadied her shaking arm, and slowly walked away.</p><p>“There you are.”</p><p>Edel was there. Nose upturned like it always was. She was so proud. <em>Maybe you should wipe that smirk off her face</em> said the sadistic voice in her mind. Kronya blinked a few times to drown out the voice. She…liked Edel. Edel listened to her. Edel was her- </p><p><em>Don’t say it...</em> muttered the voice.</p><p>Edel gestured with her hand. “Please come with me, Monica. There is something we must discuss.”</p><p>Kronya nodded. She had almost become used to this other girl’s name. Had Kronya killed her? It was hard to remember. She had killed so many people.</p><p>They walked in one of the many ancient doors that dotted the grounds, and up a narrow flight of stairs. Kronya had learned from Thales and Solon that asking questions on walks like this was a good way to be beaten. So she kept silent.</p><p>They finally arrived at the top of the stairs, and Edel opened the door. Kronya had to stifle a gasp.</p><p>They were incredibly high up, in one of the ancient towers of this odd fortress. Evening was approaching, and the great orange sun was slowly peeking out between the stone spires. It…was beautiful. It was everything that Kronya had dreamed of, each day in the endless night. She turned to look at Edel, who had sank down against the wall.</p><p>“Are you prepared for tomorrow?”</p><p>Kronya nodded, as she took a seat next to her leader. “Of course!” She giggled in a sing-song voice. “Who do you need killed first?”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “No one. I need you to keep an eye on the rest of the Imperial troops. They are Thales’ men, no better than bandits and thugs, and I don’t want them to hurt our classmates…if…if it can be avoided.”</p><p>The assassin nodded, before a question spilled out of her. “Edel…why are you…trusting me? I…I tried to-“</p><p>Edelgard began to coldly laugh. “I don’t trust anyone. That is a luxury I have never been afforded. We simply have common interests....” She gestured toward the sun.</p><p>Kronya tilted her head in confusion.</p><p>“I…remember what you said. About living in the darkness…” Edel’s body started to shake. “There was a time in my life…when I would have given anything, <em>done</em> anything, to see the sun, just for one moment. Thales kept me underground…to be his weapon. <strong>No one</strong> deserves that.”</p><p>Kronya’s mind went numb. “You…you understand…what it’s like?”</p><p>Edel stood, and that brief moment of weakness melted away. “I like to come here to think…I always find the sunset comforting.” She gave her subordinate a stern nod. “I’m counting on you tomorrow. Survive and prevail.”</p><p>She marched down the stairs, leaving Kronya to her thoughts. As the Agarthian watched the reddish glow of the sun melt onto the horizon, for once, the darkness seemed so very far away.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Sylvain Jose Gautier had realized long ago that he would end up alone. Not alone in the physical sense; he knew that as long as he had his Crest and his good looks, he would never want for attention. It was the other, more insidious loneliness that filled the young noble’s heart with dread.</p><p>He had tried to take Dimitri out to talk to women, to loosen his childhood friend up a little. It had been going so well, and then the girl had mentioned she was from the Empire, and Dimitri’s body had gone rigid, his eyes vacant. The Prince had quietly excused himself minutes later.  </p><p>It was like Sylvain didn’t know his friend anymore. And with Ingrid still angry at him for that little indiscretion with the girl from the bakery, and Felix being…Felix…it had placed the young man in a more pensive mood than normal.</p><p>Was there anything about him worth a damn? His own brother had tried to kill him countless times, his father was more interested in testing his worthiness for that damn lance than being a parent, and he had even threatened his teacher when she criticized his flirting…Sylvain shook his head.</p><p>There was a bitterness hidden inside him, underneath the smooth lines and cocksure attitude. He had realized very early on that life was a game…one where people took what they wanted, and couched it in pleasant words and beautiful exteriors. Sylvain was no fool, and he played the game with style. If women expected a vapid, Crest-obsessed idiot-he’d give it to them.</p><p>It was the unfairness of it all that kept the boy awake at night. The unpredictability of the Goddess was deeply galling. He had the same anger that Miklan did…the same terrible capacity for violence…and yet because of his Crest, he was the Prince’s friend, the heir to the Lance of Ruin, the noble who women threw themselves at. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve it at all.</p><p>Wearing this false face made him feel terribly lonely. He had long ago realized that he only made Ingrid’s life worse, and even a rake like him couldn’t bear to hurt Lysithea or Flayn or Bernadetta. He’d just keep on smiling, until all the fake friends fell away, and he’d be left alone.</p><p>He was a scoundrel-that was all he’d ever be.</p><p>“You’re late.”</p><p>Sylvain looked up from his table in the Great Hall, to see his house leader holding a wooden box. The Gautier heir dropped his mask, and gave a sincere smile. “Where are my manners? Aiming for another crushing defeat this week, your Emperorness?”</p><p>“You wish.”</p><p>Sylvain didn’t like people, as a rule. But he <em>liked </em>Edelgard. After transferring to her house, the boy had come to realize something, even if no one else did: there was a darkness…a quietly simmering anger deep inside the two of them. Not like Dimitri’s violent bursts of rage, but something more principled, and in a way, much more dangerous.</p><p>They both hated Crests, and this fake, shallow world that depended on them. And in the hours they had spent together studying and arguing over documents for Sylvain’s attempts for diplomacy with Sreng, they had realized another commonality-a deep love for games of strategy.</p><p>As Edelgard quietly set up the pieces, Sylvain began to needle her. Often, the game on the board was secondary to the verbal jousting between the players.</p><p>“So, I heard you took the throne…rumor has it you’ve got some big changes brewing for the Empire. Care to fill me in?”</p><p>Edelgard demurred with a smile. “I do have some reforms in mind, yes.” She pushed her piece forward. “Your move.”</p><p>Sylvain pushed his own pawn forward. “Would these…be related to Crests, perhaps?”</p><p>“Hmm…” Edelgard froze midway through her turn. “I do believe that will be a point of emphasis for my regime, yes.”</p><p>“That’s not going to be easy.” Sylvain shook his head, the game momentarily forgotten. “You might have to…if I can be crass, break a few eggs. Are you ready for that?”</p><p>The new Emperor smiled as she moved another piece. “I think we both know the answer to that question.” Suddenly, there was a spark in her lilac eyes. “I almost forgot…” She pulled out a small satchel, containing a document. “I’d appreciate your thoughts, and your discretion.”</p><p>After his turn, Sylvain looked down at the tome, and flipped through the pages idly. It contained an astonishing amount of evidence-testimonials and long-forgotten Imperial documents. It was a portion of a manifesto, comprehensively outlining the abuses propagated by the nobility, and how it had contributed to a multitude of Fódlan’s ills. How commoners were taken advantage of…how the continent was kept isolated…and how…Sylvain raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“This section…on noble kids that get abandoned by their parents. I…really like it.” Sylvain felt his voice lower to a croak. “…It feels true to life.”</p><p>Edelgard’s eyes went glassy. “Reform is a difficult thing, and sometimes, crusaders become tyrants.” She crossed her hands together. “I trust you to carry on this work, if my own efforts…” She looked down at the table, made her move, and smiled. “Checkmate.”</p><p>Sylvain looked down in disbelief, and when he looked up, his friend was gone.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Every day of Ingrid Brandl Galatea’s life, she trained. She trained to drive away the pain that so often threatened to consume her. She trained to protect those she loved, so she would never lose anyone again. And most of all, she trained because it was the only time she felt free.</p><p>Ingrid’s life had always revolved around pleasing others. Her father, who had so often gone hungry for her. Her childhood friends, who depended on her to clean up after their debauchery and churlishness. Ingrid’s own feelings were secondary.</p><p>
  <em>“You are the only one left in the family who can make things right.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Are you really trying to turn his needless death into an ideal to uphold?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Stop bothering with all this. You’re not meant to be a knight. Go find a husband.”</em>
</p><p>She swung her lance, but it did not drive away the words of her friends or her father. Ingrid had tried, so desperately, to be what everyone wanted. A loyal daughter. The friend who held her fracturing little group together, despite the constant insults and belittling. She had devoted herself to the ideal of knighthood, serving in the shadow of others, until she was unsure of who she even was.</p><p>It did not matter. She still wished she was dead. She still felt so much guilt, eating away at her insides. Everything she did was <em>wrong. </em>She threw her lance to the ground in frustration. It was quite the chivalric tale: the unmarriageable girl, who’d driven away her friends, disappointed her father, and let down her people.</p><p>She was a failure…that was all she’d ever be.</p><p>“You can’t keep skipping meals, Ingrid.”</p><p>The knight turned, feeling her mood lighten at the sound of her friend’s voice. “As if you’re one to talk, Edelgard.” These women had forged a deep bond-from loss, and battle, and the pressure that weighed on both of them so heavily. But most of all, their friendship was built on one crucial fact: they listened to one another.</p><p>Ingrid had to pull her house leader back to earth sometimes, but Edelgard made the knight's spirit soar. Around her, Ingrid dared to believe she was in control of her life. That she mattered. That it was all right to be Ingrid. It was an honesty the girl hadn’t felt since…since Glenn.</p><p>Edelgard was carrying two wooden bowls in her hand, and she quickly offered one to her companion. “Daphnel Stew. I don’t normally like meat dishes, but I thought tonight…” She looked up at the setting sun. “I thought I’d make an exception.”</p><p>“All right…” Ingrid shot her friend a suspicious look. “Trying to butter me up with my favorite meal? What do you want?”</p><p>Edelgard refused to meet Ingrid’s eyes. “I simply wanted to eat dinner with my best friend, and watch the sun set.” She let out a deep sigh, and gave Ingrid a bittersweet smile. “We both know firsthand that peaceful moments like this can vanish in an instant.”</p><p>“That’s it.” Ingrid stood, and grabbed her spear. “I don’t know what’s come over you, but we’re sparring. Right now.” She reached out her hand, and pulled Edelgard to her feet. “I don’t like <em>my</em> best friend moping like this.” She twirled her lance, and stood in a defensive position. “Perhaps I’ll just have to beat all the brooding out of you.”</p><p>Edelgard began to laugh. “Not with that sloppy footwork you won’t.” She grabbed a training ax, a sly grin on her face. “Typical Faerghus stubbornness.”</p><p>“Typical Adrestian arrogance.”</p><p>“Touché.” There was a strange look in Edelgard’s eyes. “Before we begin, I must say…thank you, Ingrid…for everything.”</p><p>“Of course,” said Ingrid, in a matter-of-fact voice. “That’s what friends are for.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When studying, there reaches a point where time seems to become unreal. When there is only the text and the reader, and hours can vanish in an instant. And Lysithea von Ordelia was all too keenly aware of the passing of the clock.</p><p>She had so little time. There was a world she would never experience. Love and children and the joy of an idle day. She had to make every minute count, so her mother and father would be provided for. That was why she was in the library, all alone, studying a text on healing magic. Dark magic had always come more easily to her, and if she was going to become an unparalleled mage, any deficiencies needed to be corrected.</p><p>There was another reason she worked herself to exhaustion. The nightmares…the dreams of what she had undergone…of that terrible day her hair had turned white, from its familiar red. The quiet devastation in her father’s eyes. How her mother could barely stand, body heaving with despair. She had to fix things, be brave and strong and mature, even if all she wanted was her siblings, and to be a child, for just one day.</p><p>But this world had taken all those daydreams away. She had been cut open, and pulled apart, and when the shadowy mages were done, they had simply discarded her. Her father had bravely begged the pale men for an explanation…for some reason for this horrific cruelty. One of them had turned, and with a voice lacking any human warmth, simply stated: “for knowledge.”</p><p>She knew that was her fate. That her greatest mark in this world would not be in what she did, but in what was done to her. That for all her hard work and toil, her aptitude came not from her brains or her spirit, but from the Crest that had been imbedded in her body.</p><p>She was an experiment-that was all she’d ever be.</p><p>Still, even her outrage at these injustices could not prevent fatigue, or hunger, or hallucinations, and she realized to her dismay, that she had been reading the same paragraph four times in a row. <em>Just one more page</em>, thought the young girl…<em>and then I’ll…</em></p><p>She felt safe…someone was carrying her. No one had carried her since…Lysithea’s exhausted mind fell upon the answer.</p><p>“Ophelia…is…that you?”</p><p>Her older sister didn’t respond, but continued to carry the girl toward her room. It felt reassuring, Lysithea hadn’t felt that safe in so long. She fell in and out of consciousness.</p><p>“I’m… glad…to see you, Ophelia…where…have you been? I’ve…been so scared…”</p><p>She heard the door to her room open, and felt the warmth of blankets being placed over her. Her sister stood over her for a moment, before she turned to leave. Lysithea reached out her hand, mumbling deliriously. “Please, Ophelia…don’t go…I get afraid at night. Please.”</p><p>Her protector’s hand reached out, and began to stoke her head gently. “I…I’m here. Your…your sister’s here.” No, wait…the voice was wrong. It was familiar, but…that wasn’t-</p><p>“Edelgard!” Lysithea’s head bolted up with fright. “What are you-“</p><p>The look of mortification on Edelgard’s face was painful to witness. She jumped back from the bed as if struck by a thunderbolt. “I…I apologize, Lysithea…I found you in the library, and I was very concerned-“</p><p>“How dare you!” Lysithea protested, desperately trying to hide her own embarrassment. “Do you think this a joke? Do you find me amusing? You can’t possibly understand…”</p><p>“The nightmares?” Edelgard spoke the words calmly, but Lysithea could see her gloved hands shaking. “I…I understand them very well. Many a night, I’ve stayed awake, just because-“ She trailed off. “I won’t leave you alone.”</p><p>The young mage wanted to complain, but she could not muster the energy. “Fine. I suppose you have my best interests at heart, and therefore, I’ll allow it, this-“</p><p>“Your sister…the one you mentioned.” Edelgard smiled. “What was she like?”</p><p>Lysithea blanched. “She was…she was wonderful. I always wanted to be like her…and then she was gone. I…I…always wish…I wish…”</p><p>“You wish it had been you instead.” Edelgard finished the sentence, eyes looking both at Lysithea and at something that the girl could not see.</p><p>The Leicester noble reached out a hand, which Edelgard grasped firmly. “Yes,” said the mage. “I wish it had been me every single day.”</p><p>They sat in silence for an eternity, words unnecessary, before Edelgard slowly stood. “Please get some sleep, Lysithea. Tomorrow is Professor Byleth’s ceremony in the Holy Tomb, and it promises to be a challenging day for all of us.”</p><p>“Only if you promise to stop fussing over me,” grumbled the mage, before her irritation turned to tenderness. “Tomorrow night, after the ceremony…can we get some saghert and cream in the dining hall? I…I missed you when you were gone.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. ”Of course, Lysithea. I promise.” She grasped her friend’s hand one last time before she left the room. “May your dreams be happy ones.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Hilda Valentine Goneril was <em>tired.</em> Another day chasing after that goofball Claude, listening to his silly, fantastic stories. She always found herself watching her house leader, even if she’d never admit it to the arrogant little…</p><p>Hilda stopped--her thoughts disturbed by a strange, muffled sound from next door. The young Goneril tilted her head. That was <em>Edelgard’s</em> room! Hilda considered herself a good person, if a bit…lethargic…but she couldn’t resist a juicy bit of gossip like this, now could she?</p><p>She leaned her head against the wall and listened. It…it almost sounded like someone...crying? No, crying didn’t really do it justice. It sounded like a person weeping uncontrollably, with a grief and despair that Hilda had never heard before, and could not begin to imagine. It sent shivers down Hilda’s spine. She gently knocked on the wall.</p><p>“Edelgard…are you all right?”</p><p>The sound stopped instantly.</p><p>For twenty minutes, Hilda waited for the noise to reappear, before she decided to go to bed. This ridiculous ceremony was tomorrow, and she needed her beauty sleep. It was a silly thought, anyway. Edelgard was an arrogant, bossy, know-it-all. Even if the girl did have something to cry about, it wasn’t like she had the ability to think about anyone outside of herself. She knew the girl well enough to be sure of that. People like Edelgard always ended up alone.</p><p>That was all she’d ever be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ANNGGGSSSTTT</p><p>I'm sure you're all sick of me after that behemoth of a chapter, so I'll be quick.</p><p>Next chapter is when CaptainFlash finally takes us all to the proverbial fireworks factory in the Holy Tomb. It's hard to believe we've reached this point, but I'm so grateful to everyone, and I hope it meets your expectations. Thanks for the comments, the kudos, and for sticking with me this whole way.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. The Judgement of the Goddess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“And with the evil witch killed, the prince and princess returned home, and lived happily ever after. The end.” Aggie put down the book, and smiled at her younger sister. El rested a hand on her chin, lost in thought. “I know that look…” Agnes reached down and began to run her fingers through El’s brown hair. “What’s bothering you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El let out a long, loud sigh. “Aggie…why do you think that witch did all those bad things?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her older sister frowned for a moment, before a vitality returned to her expression. “That’s…that’s so like you, El. Worried about the people that nobody else thinks about.” She looked down at the book of stories. “I’ve read this hundreds of times, and yet I never-”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El was a pugnacious child, and she crossed her arms in frustration. “You aren’t answering the question, Aggie!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Agnes laid the book on El’s bedside table, and reached out her hand to her sister. This simple act of love and belief always brought a sense of calm to the young girl’s soul. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well…” Aggie began, choosing her words carefully. “Sometimes, there are people that…that don’t have anyone to care about their story. No one to love them, or tell them how special and wonderful they are. And when they don’t…” She shook her head. “They close their hearts, because it just hurts too much.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh…” El absorbed her sister’s response, trying to wrap her mind around such a melancholy idea. Finally, her face lit up with a smile. “Why can’t the witch be the hero? Maybe she could find someone to love her, too.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aggie began to laugh. “Well, when you get older…maybe you can write that story.” She ruffled El’s hair playfully, and for the young Princess of Adrestia, all was right with the world.</em>
</p><p>As the memories rushed, unbidden, to the forefront of her mind, the Flame Emperor winced. What would her sister think of Edelgard now? Disgust? Pity? Sadness? It was impossible to say. Had the Goddess always known this was the girl’s destiny? Perhaps this was the reason Edelgard’s prayers were not answered-Sothis had always known the depths to which Edelgard would sink.</p><p>This, in the end, was the Goddess' sanction. Edelgard was destined to be condemned and struck down. The broken mirror to her beloved teacher, skulking in the darkness with monsters and murderers. The Flame Emperor believed in the truth of her actions-better war than a false peace built on suffering-but she understood that the continent's new dawn was not meant for her.</p><p>“-Lady Edelgard…” Hubert’s voice intruded, pulling Edelgard back into the moment, back to the world that had hurt her so terribly. Back to an aching body and withered soul. “Lord Arundel’s forces are prepared. I will let them into the Tomb upon your signal.”</p><p>The girl gave a distracted nod of acknowledgement, hands knotted together with private anxiety. She looked around her room, consumed with a wide-eyed desperation. The morning sun shining through the windows…the feel of her bedding…she tried to savor each final moment and ending, each breath and smell and sight from Garreg Mach. From her home.</p><p>Hubert placed a hand on her shoulder. “You must remain firm. You know that this is what must be done.” For a moment, his eyes fell upon the flower attached to his lapel, before he shook his head vigorously. “We will never have another opportunity for such a decisive strike-or to eradicate the enemy’s supply of Crest stones.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. As usual, Hubert’s analysis was unquestionably rational. One of the few useful things she had learned from ‘Tomas’ was that the Church had the ability to give Crest powers and inhuman blood to high-ranking members. Without eliminating that poisonous hoard, Edelgard’s battle against the Church of Seiros would be over before it began.</p><p>It was a symbol of everything Edelgard despised. Ancient unchecked blood and practices, traces of a time and people long dead, rotting the very heart of Fódlan. These macabre rituals empowered those who Rhea favored, under the pretext of the Goddess’ blessing. How many children like Miklan could have been saved, if such a power were shared with the world? Would Duke Aegir still have…</p><p>It brought a renewed fire to the Flame Emperor’s visage. “You are right. We must press onward.” She marched forward, and gently placed her hand on her retainer’s shoulder. “We do not know what awaits us in the Holy Tomb, nor the full might of the Immaculate One…please Hubert…take care.”</p><p>She despised the awkward formality that tumbled from her lips. This man was a brother to her, and all she could mutter were these empty banalities? Even as her arm rested on Hubert’s shoulder, her eyes fell to the floor, as she struggled to find words that could express how deeply she cherished him. After moments of turmoil, all she could manage was a hesitant smile, before she slowly walked toward the door.</p><p>“Lady Edelgard.”</p><p>The Emperor stopped, but did not turn around. “Yes, Hubert?” The girl’s hand encircled a piece of silver jewelry inside her black jacket.</p><p>“You should not talk to her. This…it will be difficult enough as it is, and I must advise you-“</p><p>“One of the prerogatives of my position, Hubert, is that I am entitled to make decisions without heeding other’s counsel.” The Flame Emperor’s voice was frighteningly calm. Cold, dispassionate, and merciless. “This is one of those times.” Without waiting for her retainer to respond, the girl marched out into the dawn.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><em><br/>
Of course she’d be fishing.</em> If not for the seriousness of the situation, Edelgard would have burst out laughing. Byleth Eisner, the Enlightened One of the Goddess, sat on the edge of the rickety wooden dock, line and reel in hand. The Emperor did not think anything could make Byleth’s white cape and gold crown seem more bizarrely ostentatious, but as always, her teacher found new ways to surprise and delight.</p><p>Edelgard waited for a moment, afraid to disrupt her teacher’s peace. Instead, she simply watched Byleth’s back slowly rise and fall. The girl thought again of that night, so long ago, when a silent mercenary had stood between Edelgard and the enemy’s blade. The moment when light had returned to Edelgard’s world. Even with her strange new appearance, Byleth Eisner still inspired the same emotions-trust, safety, devotion, lov- Edelgard shook her head.</p><p>“My teacher.”<br/>
<br/>
Byleth’s head jerked around, a broad smile on her face. “Edelgard.” She slapped her hand on the old warped beams beneath her feet. “Come sit.”</p><p>Edelgard overlooked the fear that the water inspired in her, and carefully sat next to the great love of her life. For minutes, there was only silence on that lonely mooring, as the two women found peace and comfort in one another’s company. Then, all at once, the Ashen Demon reached some interior decision, lazily reeled in her line, and placed her fishing rod aside.</p><p>“Couldn’t catch anything better than an Albinean Herring,” said Byleth sadly. “Maybe the bright cape is scaring them away?” She looked down at her white outfit with a defeated expression. As always, it was impossible to tell whether the mercenary was serious or joking.</p><p>Edelgard put her hands on the bridge of her nose, failing to hide her amusement. “My teacher, as…<em>edifying </em>as this is, there is something I must give you.” She unfurled her clenched hand, revealing a silver necklace, fashioned in the shape of eagle’s wings. Rubies were interlaced into the design, and the jewels shimmered in the sun’s rays.</p><p>Byleth stared blankly for a brief instant, before her face lit up with pleasure and surprise. “Edelgard…is this…for-“ As the Emperor handed her teacher the gift, Byleth’s eyes remained fixed on the precious accessory.</p><p>The Flame Emperor nodded. “A small gift, as commemoration of your exceptional efforts this year. It was meant to be given on your birthday, but when Jeralt…” Edelgard lowered her head in guilt, but her companion’s good mood did not falter.</p><p>“Edelgard…it’s lovely.” Byleth slowly put the necklace on, carefully tucking it underneath her unkempt green hair. “I’ll…I’ll always keep it with me. I promise.”</p><p>“I...am pleased to hear it.” The girl gave a satisfied nod, before her expression darkened. “When commissioning that design…I wanted to communicate an important truth. About…just how much you mean to me.”</p><p>Byleth remained silent, waiting for Edelgard to continue.</p><p>“You now know of my past, when so few others do. For many years, I have been falling. Tumbling and spinning into a darkness without end, swallowing everything that I once was.” The only sign of agitation visible was a gloved hand running through her silver hair. “I had given up. I had believed that was how my world must be. That the light was for other people.” The heretic reached out her hand, and dared to touch the Enlightened One’s wrist.</p><p>“Thank you for being my wings, my teacher. For letting me believe that things could be different…even if just for a passing moment.”</p><p>The Ashen Demon had listened to her pupil’s words intently, but had not shown any outward  change in expression. But the instant Edelgard finished speaking, Byleth grabbed Edelgard in her arms, and held her tightly, sensing the maelstrom of emotions under Edelgard’s facade. The princess could feel the heat of her teacher’s breath against her neck, and the firm embrace of Byleth’s strong arms, and the cool softness of her skin.</p><p>The confusing, wretched tangle of Edelgard’s life all fell into place, her shattered world reassembled. It was sublime, it was extraordinary. It was everything she dared to hope for in the lonely, mad, midnight hours. Byleth was the only answer to every question that Edelgard had ever asked. And she would lose her. Just like she lost everything else.</p><p>Edelgard’s resolve began to falter. She wanted to remain here, in this moment, but time had betrayed her. She must not be selfish. She must not let this go any further. To Byleth’s clear surprise, Edelgard pulled away, and quickly rose to her feet.</p><p>“I…I am glad you enjoy the gift, my teacher….I hope you will cherish it always, and that someday, you will think…think of-“ She turned, and began to walk away, afraid that the dam of emotions she had kept bottled up inside would not withstand this fresh agony.</p><p>“<em>Edelgard von Hresvelg</em>!” At the unexpected shock of Byleth using her full name, the Emperor of Adrestia froze. Not just at the words, but at the voice of her beloved instructor. There was a raw, aching hurt, coating every syllable of her teacher’s speech. “Please…stay.”</p><p>Edelgard searched for a breath that would not come, closed her eyes, and turned around. Her teacher’s hands were clasped together, and she was pleading-<em>pleading!</em>-with her student. “Edelgard…I’m so sorry.”</p><p>The Emperor’s mind went numb. She sputtered out some inarticulate phrase, but there was no actual response possible. How could Byleth apologize? What wrong had her teacher done? The Emperor simply waited, afraid that any motion would cause all the years of sorrow and hurt to come tumbling out of her in a single instant.</p><p>“Ever since…” Byleth held up a piece of her luminescent green hair. “Every time you look at me, you have so much pain in your eyes. I…I thought about what you said, and how Sothis wasn’t there for you…” She shook her head. “You mean so much to me Edelgard….and now everything I’ve become is hurting you. Please…<em>please</em> don’t go.”</p><p>Some unconscious force took command of the girl’s body, and she walked toward her teacher, drawn by the irresistible, unbreakable connection that had formed that rainy night months ago. She <em>needed </em>Byleth, with a yearning that burned the Flame Emperor’s insides like an unappeasable fire. She grabbed the Ashen Demon’s hand, and shook her head.</p><p>“I…I have been trying to protect you. From my self-pity and cruelty and so many other terrible things. Rest assured, you could never hurt me, my teacher.”</p><p>Byleth’s face twitched, words struggling to form in the cool, wet air of Garreg Mach.  “Edelgard…I haven’t known how to say this or what it even meant for the longest time…and I’ve been scared to ask since Remire…” She wrung her hands together. “But you…” She paused, closed her eyes, and finally spoke. “…You love me, don’t you?”</p><p><em>No. Oh Goddess, no. </em>The Flame Emperor’s internal voice screamed in horror. <em>She knows. And now when…</em> She thought back to each cursed, awful vision. Each prophecy that had further confirmed the girl’s fate. Edelgard had fought and scratched and clawed to change the future, but all her efforts, all her hopes of protecting the heart of the woman she loved, had turned to ash.</p><p>This was the price to pay for her weakness. For indulging in the selfish, pitiful dreams of a young girl, rather than what needed to be done. <em>This was why you needed to stay apart!</em> screamed the harsh voice of the Flame Emperor. <em>All you do is hurt people. All you do is make everyone’s life worse! Your family, your friends, Byleth…now how much harder will it be, all because you only thought about yourself!</em></p><p>She thought back to the strange visions. Of the woman she was fated to become. A lonely, loathsome, misshapen little creature, unmourned and unloved. That was her role in this grand legend, the one the Goddess and the world had so carefully planned for her. Years from now, all anyone would remember was that Edelgard was a demon…the tyrant who set the continent aflame. The mad, heartless Emperor, struck down by divine will. Her only purpose, by celestial decree, was to be hated and to die.</p><p>But that was not who El was. Despite what the Goddess and the world wished, underneath the ice and steel, she was just a girl. A sad and lonely and scared girl faced with losing the person who had given her life meaning. The woman who had dared to believe in her goodness, and allowed El to pretend she was beautiful. In the face of that immeasurable love and trust, all her plans and schemes, all of the Flame Emperor’s hard-fought rationality, collapsed to pieces. When she looked in Byleth’s eyes, there was no more Flame Emperor. There was just El.</p><p>
  <em>Damn the visions, and damn the Goddess.</em>
</p><p>She leaned forward, no longer fighting the instincts that she had carefully subjugated for so very long. As her lips met Byleth’s, the kiss was filled with all the beauty and tenderness that Edelgard von Hresvelg had never been allowed to express. Where Edelgard was hard, there now was only softness. Where she was cold, only warmth. In place of armor, only kindness.</p><p>Byleth’s lips were lightning, a jolt of life, revealing all the mantras and rationalizations of the Flame Emperor as childish and false. That she did not need anyone. That she had moved beyond such petty concerns as love. That she was at peace being alone. They scurried away like rats into the dark, as Byleth Eisner shone the light of truth upon them.</p><p>As her love gripped her arm, and returned the kiss with a stunning tenderness, it was impossible to say how long the moment lasted-a second? A minute? An eternity? Time had tried to take everything away, but Edelgard would always have this victory…</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>Edelgard broke away, horrified at her venal, selfish heart. “My teacher…” she gasped. She began to step backwards, as Byleth gave her a gentle smile. “I- I can’t...you don’t deserve this. You…you are meant for so much more.” She covered her eyes with scarred, monstrous hands, hidden under gloves of white. “Please…please forget about me.”</p><p>Without allowing her teacher a chance to respond, the Flame Emperor fled, back into the shadows cast by the great spires of Garreg Mach.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard could not believe her eyes or ears. The Black Eagles, accompanied by Seteth, Catherine, and Shamir, were conveyed deep underground, on an immense…mineshaft? There was no other word to describe it. To imagine that such ancient machinery existed was astonishing.</p><p>That a space like this could be found, underneath the monastery…Edelgard could sense agitated motion, and turned to Kronya. There was none of the Agarthian’s usual bluster. Instead, the girl’s shoulders were trembling in spite of her best efforts to steady them. She noticed Edelgard’s glance, and edged closer.</p><p>“Edel…I don’t like this…” She gripped the dagger on her waist. “Can you feel it? Something’s wrong. I feel like something’s watching me…like they know I shouldn’t be here-“<br/>
<br/>
The Flame Emperor sternly shook her head, before Kronya’s disguise could be compromised further, but the girl was right. There was something different in the air, a strange weight that seemed to coat the very air they breathed. It inspired the same uneasiness in Edelgard as the deep, dark ocean…the same feeling of vast, primeval unknowability, beyond what mortals could perceive. It was chilling.</p><p>The ancient machine rumbled to a stop, and the gates opened onto a massive mausoleum, with tombs stretching endlessly into the darkness. The Black Eagles gaped in awe as they made their way through the hallowed space. At the front of the room, an incandescent green light shone over a throne, hewn from ageless stone. Byleth, Rhea and Flayn stood next to the stone seat, the Archbishop’s arm encircling the Ashen Demon’s back.</p><p>Upon the Black Eagle’s entrance, the Archbishop turned and smiled that familiar, honeyed smile. “Welcome…” she gestured to the surrounding audience with outstretched hands. There was something different in Rhea’s voice today. A nervousness and exhilaration that replaced her usual artificial calm.</p><p>“This is the place where the Goddess who created this world sleeps…” Edelgard felt Kronya move next to her. “…along with the rest of her children.” Rhea frowned, and slowly walked toward the ancient throne, before running her hands along the top of the chair. “And this is the throne from which the Goddess, our Creator, sat.”</p><p>Edelgard realized what this was, even if no one else did-this was a coronation. Such ritual and pomp only served one purpose-to mark the passing of power from one person to another. But who was…</p><p>“Byleth.” Rhea turned toward the Ashen Demon and smiled with a desperate hope. “Do you remember this throne?” She clasped her hands together, and waited for a response.</p><p>Many of the Black Eagles were unsure of what to do-Marianne’s head was lowered in prayer, but less observant students such as Lysithea and Dorothea appeared more concerned for their teacher than any celestial concerns. Shamir shifted uncomfortably, and moved closer to Byleth, while Seteth frowned, but remained silent.</p><p>The Ashen Demon stared at the throne for a moment, as if trying to divine some greater meaning from the timeworn rock and stone. Edelgard could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest, not from her plans, but for the woman she loved. Something was <em>wrong.</em></p><p>“You do not need to hide anything from me, Byleth.” Rhea moved closer to the Enlightened One, and stroked her cheek. “In your dreams…I know you’ve seen this place…”</p><p>Byleth raised her head. “How…how did you know?”</p><p>A look of exhilaration and relief appeared in the Archbishop’s green eyes, before she stared up at the heavens. “Oh…it’s been so, so long…” Her vision returned to earthly concerns. “I know because I am the Voice of the Goddess Herself, and all I do is in Her name. I…I... have waited for this day for…”</p><p>A loud cough from Seteth broke Rhea from her reverie.</p><p>“You must sit on the throne.” She gestured to the seat, and began to pull Byleth toward it like a child. It was…familiar. It was like how El had pulled her father’s arms when leading him to the palace ballroom. The Archbishop seemed less a full-grown woman than an overenthusiastic youth. “I know you shall be gifted a revelation from the Goddess.”</p><p>As Byleth moves toward the throne, Edelgard felt every nerve, every corner of her body tense. It all had one purpose, one singular drive-<em>you must stop her</em>! But the Flame Emperor was paralyzed, from the atmosphere and her fears and the undeniable sense of watching a transcendent moment unfolding.</p><p>Byleth Eisner sat on the throne, and smiled a tranquil smile, and waited. She looked around the ancient mausoleum with her typical bemused expression. She glanced at Shamir, and nodded brusquely. She turned to the Black Eagles, and gave them a hearty wave. And as all this was happening, the frustration and despair on the Archbishop’s face grew and grew.</p><p>“How…how is it, Byleth?” She whispered with overwhelming desolation. “Did…did anything…?”</p><p>Byleth stood, and looked down at the throne intently. “It’s very nice, Rhea. Thank you for this opportunity.” Her expression turned sheepish. “The stone is a bit uncomfortable, though.”</p><p>Something shattered in the mysterious green eyes of the Archbishop. She no longer was looking at Byleth, all her saccharine sweetness replaced with pure, primal fear. Rhea muttered to herself with startling intensity. “One more step…just one more…what is missing? What did I do wrong?” Whether out of desperation or grief or anger, the Archbishop reached for Byleth’s arm.</p><p>“That’s enough.”</p><p>Edelgard heard her voice echo and resound over the ageless pillars and caskets. All eyes turned to her, and the Flame Emperor slowly pushed to the back of the crowd. Kronya and Hubert stood behind, the dark mage already preparing a teleportation spell for the Imperial troops.</p><p>“<strong>How dare you interrupt-“</strong></p><p>The Archbishop’s voice blazed with rage, but Edelgard only narrowed her lilac eyes. It was time for her to take on the role she was always meant to play. It was time for her to take off her mask.</p><p>“Nobody move!” the cackling sounds of one of Arundel’s lackeys, Metodey, filled the Emperor’s ears. A common thief and sadist, who had been lurking around Garreg Mach for months, disgracing Imperial honor and the name of House Hresvelg. “If you move, you die!”</p><p>Edelgard had to admire how Thales had outmaneuvered her. At every step throughout the year, he had associated the Flame Emperor and the Imperial army-using Arundel’s private troops as a means to draw attention to the connection. Remire, that farce with Flayn…How would any of them know that Edelgard had no idea of their movement-that Thales was pulling the strings from the shadows? And now, when she needed his cursed might…</p><p>“The Empire’ll be taking everything there is to take in the Holy Tomb!”</p><p>The Black Eagles sprang into combat readiness, filling Edelgard’s heart with an odd mix of pride and bitterness. There was an easy confidence and grace as the archers and mages moved to the back, while the melee fighters protected them with heroic bravado. Once, Edelgard would have been leading that charge, but now she stood alone.</p><p>As more and more Imperial soldiers were magically transported into the ancient place, the looks of shock and betrayal on the Black Eagles’ faces grew and grew.</p><p>“The…Imperial army?” Dorothea gasped, her eyes moving back and forth between the soldiers and Edelgard. “Why are they…”</p><p>Something shifted in Ferdinand’s face, and all the usual kindness and warmth that radiated from him disappeared as he looked at Edelgard. “Are they subordinates?!” he yelled. “Do they work for the Flame Emperor?!” It was not a question.</p><p>Linhardt had a distant smile, as if he had just received the solution to a particularly elaborate puzzle. “So the Flame Emperor was from the Empire all along.” He placed a hand on his head, and softly laughed. “I can’t believe we’re behind it.”</p><p>Lysithea had immediately understood, and was now watching Edelgard intently. Dorothea and Petra both were struggling to process what they were witnessing. And Ingrid…Ingrid’s face was empty. Utterly devoid of anything resembling human emotion.</p><p>“E-Edelgard…” Bernadetta, of all people, found the courage to speak. “Did...did you know?”</p><p>Byleth pushed to the front of the Black Eagles, arm resting on the Sword of the Creator. She bit her lip, took her place leading her students, and waited. Her green, unblinking eyes seemed to contain all of the Goddess’ judgement within them, and it took all of the Flame Emperor’s immense willpower to meet her gaze.</p><p>“Yes.” Edelgard could feel the life draining out of her voice, feel her heart chilling to ice. All she wanted was to run to her friends…but that was not her role. That was not what the Goddess would allow her to be. If this world wanted a villain…then she must play the part. “I gave the order. I am the Flame Emperor.”</p><p>For a moment, a terrible and immense silence fell over the Black Eagles. Within that agonizing quiet, Edelgard realized the grievous error she had made. All throughout her time at Garreg Mach, she had thought that each moment she stole, each second of freedom, would give her strength and consolation as she walked her dark and lonely path. It was a lie.</p><p>She could never again think of sparring with Ingrid, or painting with Bernadetta, or stealing pastries from the dining hall for Lysithea without thinking of this moment, her terrible betrayal. It swallowed everything else, made the girl’s heart ache with pain and longing for just one more day, one more instant…</p><p>The sound of Ingrid’s spear clattering to the floor seemed to break the spell that hung over the hallowed grounds. The Imperial soldiers scurried like ants, tearing open the caskets and removing the Crest stones. Suddenly, a force pushed through the Black Eagles’ ranks, and Rhea was standing next to Byleth, madness radiating from her green orbs.</p><p>“YOU!” she screamed. “How could you trample on this sacred place? How could <em>you</em> spit on what Wilhelm and Serios built!” Something had broken, deep, deep inside the Archbishop, and her saintly face was filled with an inhuman fury. “You dishonor your ancestors! You insult the Goddess!” She pointed to Byleth, voice aflame, only wanting to remove this new threat. “Destroy these traitors who dishonor Sothis!”</p><p>Byleth’s expression did not waver, watching Edelgard with an unbearable sadness. She pulled the Sword of the Creator from its sheath, and held it in front of her. “Little flower…” she whispered. “Please. Please don’t.”</p><p>Edelgard hardened her heart as chaos erupted around her. “This is my path. The one I must follow.” She glanced at each of her classmates. “I just want each of you to remain compliant and to stand aside. My…my objective is not to fight any of you.”</p><p>At this, Ingrid raised her head, grasped Lúin tightly, and glared at Edelgard with an unchecked rage worthy of Dimitri. She, Petra and Ferdinand pointed their weapons at the Adrestian Emperor, while Lysithea, Dorothea and Linhardt conjured spells. Caspar stared at Monica for a moment, before slowly raising his gauntlets.</p><p>“Such treachery can never be forgiven!” snarled Rhea, pointing an outstretched hand at the Emperor. She turned to Byleth. “Kill the rebels and protect the Holy Tomb! You must show the consequences of defying the Church and the Godd-“</p><p>“Forget this.”</p><p>At the shocking interruption, all eyes travelled to a red-haired cavalier, who was glaring at the Archbishop. Sylvain Gautier shook his head slowly. “I’m a noble of Faerghus. If I attack the head of the Empire, I’m doing nothing short of declaring war.” He turned to Edelgard and grinned. “Besides…if Edelgard’s doing this for the reasons I think she is…well, all I have to say is good luck to her.” He looked down at the Lance of Ruin. “I’m tired of killing people I know for a Goddess I’ve never met.”</p><p>He galloped to the side, dropped his weapon to the floor, and smiled. “Anyone else want to join me?”</p><p>For an instant, there was silence, before Marianne and Bernadetta slowly walked next to Sylvain. Neither raised their eyes from the ground, their bodies trembling from fear and guilt. The looks of shock on Hubert and Ferdinand’s faces was harrowing to witness.</p><p>“There will be consequences for this insolence,” murmured Rhea with frightening intensity. “Byleth…I command you to protect the Holy Tomb from these invaders!”</p><p>“Edelgard.” Byleth’s face lost its gentle sweetness, and took on the cold, impassive stare of the Ashen Demon. “Stand down. Right now.”</p><p>Edelgard tried to ignore the green orbs that were burrowing into her soul, and pointed a white glove at her Imperial troops. “In the name of the Adrestian Empire. I, Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg, command you! Retrieve the Crest stones, and if any oppose you…” She paused and swallowed. “You may kill them.”</p><p>Chaos erupted, as an arrow from Shamir shot at the Emperor’s head, only for Edelgard, Kronya, and Hubert to disappear in a flash of crimson. They stood at top of the great stone stairs that marked the entrance to the Tomb.</p><p>“Thank you, Hubert.” Edelgard muttered. “Each of you, stay with me. We’ll cover our forces’ escape if we have…”</p><p>Kronya shoved Edelgard out of the way, as a Meteor spell from Dorothea set much of the surrounding area aflame.</p><p>Hubert turned to Edelgard and gave a grim, hollow laugh. “I suppose we’re finished playing make-believe at school, Your Majesty.” He stood, unaccustomed to such exertion, and stared down at the battlefield. “Our troops are no match…should we-“<br/>
<br/>
Edelgard closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She was already damned, but each moment seemed to sink her lower and lower into the pit. “Yes…if we’re fighting Byleth, we have no chance…send in the Crest Beasts.”</p><p>In a flash of red, two of Thales’ unfortunate victims were transported to the center of the Holy Tomb, blocking the Black Eagles’ progress with inhuman bellowing. A few of the soldiers carrying Crest stones made their way past the Emperor, escaping out into Garreg Mach, but many more were cut down by the combined forces of the Church and Edelgard’s former classmates.</p><p>Byleth commanded her students with a quiet confidence, using Ferdinand to distract one of the monsters while Petra and Lysithea cut it down with arrow and spell. As she watched her teacher place a comforting hand on Lysithea’s shoulder, a fresh wound opened in the girl’s heart.</p><p>“Edel…” Kronya muttered. “This isn’t going well.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. This was part of the terrible calculus of her position. Many Imperial soldiers would die in this ancient place, and all Edelgard could do was hope that the removal of the source of the Church’s power would save many more down the road. It did not make the slaughter she was witnessing any easier to stomach.</p><p>Hubert had been staring at Byleth, who was communicating something to Lysithea and Linhardt. As Byleth pointed up at the Flame Emperor, the young mage gave a determined nod. Hubert suddenly waved his arms frantically. “Your Majesty, we have to move!”</p><p>A massive explosion sent Edelgard, Hubert and Kronya flying, as Linhardt’s Warp spell transported Lysithea to the top of the stairs in an instant. The girl unleashed bursts of dark magic at Edelgard, battering the Flame Emperor over and over. Finally, her bombardment ceased, and the mage lowered her arm, purple mist dissipating from her fingertips.</p><p>“You’re using them?” Lysithea gestured behind her, to the remaining Crest Beast, locked in combat with Byleth and the Black Eagles. “After everything they did to you?...To me? You’d…you’d work with them?”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “It…it sickens me, but…” She stood. “I have to tear all of this out at the root, Lysithea. The Church, the nobility…to remove it…there was no other way. It is what I must do.”</p><p>The young mage smiled and nodded. “I understand.” She raised her hand, and a Mire β spell curled around her outstretched arm. “And I know you understand why I have to stop you.”</p><p>“I do.” Edelgard turned to her retainer. “Hubert.”</p><p>A spell from the dark mage was sent flying toward Lysithea, who blocked it with a single gesture. “A Miasma spell, Hubert? Really?” She continued launching attacks, filled with a righteous indignation. “I thought after all our study sessions together, you would treat me with more respect!”</p><p>Hubert laughed. ”Of course, Lysithea…” he chuckled. “I have the greatest respect for your talent…but you always were much too fond of the direct approach.”</p><p>The young mage looked down, only to see her feet trapped in a tangle of dark energy, slowly crawling up her ankles. She pulled and tugged her feet but could not break free, and another spell from Hubert bound her hands tightly.</p><p>Edelgard knelt before the girl, whose face vacillated between rage and immense sadness. “Stand down, and I promise no harm will come to you.” Edelgard’s hand wavered in front of the young girl’s shoulder, but she did not dare to touch her. “I’m sorry I broke my promises to you. I- ”</p><p>The mage shook her head. “Save your pity. Besides…” She grinned. “You have other things to worry about.”</p><p>Edelgard could see the reflection of pegasus wings in Lysithea’s pink eyes, and dodged out of the way of Lúin's strikes. With terrific speed, Ingrid’s steed barreled into Hubert, throwing him against the wall, and a swing of the hilt of her ancient relic weapon sent Kronya flying.</p><p>“I believed you.” Ingrid glared down at Edelgard, her hand trembling. “That I wasn’t being selfish…” She swung her lance, shattering the tiles beneath Edelgard’s feet. “I actually thought someone was listening to me! For once in my life!” Spear collided with ax. “I actually thought you were my friend!”</p><p>“You...you are.” The Flame Emperor pushed back against the weight of Ingrid’s lance, feeling the steel of her weapon bend and warp from the strain. “And you always will be. Despite what I said…I have no intention of killing you.” The girl’s face softened for a moment. “Please...stand down, Ingrid.”</p><p>There was a terrible battle under the surface of Ingrid’s stern expression. “Edelgard...I...I can’t. If this is your choice, then as a knight of the Kingdom…Your death is my dut-“<br/>
<br/>
The last word was cut off as Kronya leapt on top of Ingrid’s back, arm fastened to her throat. The pegasus knight flailed in surprise, before she turned and drove her attacker into the wall with devastating force. The two women fell to their knees.</p><p>“Why? Why didn’t you tell us?” Ingrid gasped, desperately trying to catch her breath, and quell the despair that now racked her body.<br/>
<br/>
“What would you have done if I had told you?”<br/>
<br/>
Ingrid began to laugh, a mournful sound without joy or warmth. “For the sake of my honor, I’d…I’d have to stop you.”</p><p>“Of course, Ingrid.” Edelgard lowered her weapon, as a few more Imperial soldiers escaped. “And that was why I did not tell you. Forgive my selfishness, but I have had to give up so much, and I...enjoyed your company.” The Flame Emperor’s face hardened. “I know better than to ask you to yield, but-“<br/>
<br/>
An arrow buried itself in the Emperor’s leg, causing her to fall to her knees. She turned, and Byleth stood at the top of the stairs, flanked by Petra and Ferdinand. Metodey’s body was sprawled on the steps behind the Ashen Demon. “Edelgard,” ordered her teacher, face never blinking, never wavering. “It’s over.”</p><p>Edelgard raised her ax. “Not while I still stand, my teacher.” She looked away, unwilling to see the disappointment and hurt in those green eyes. “I make no excuses. I…I am grateful that I know you.” She tried to push the gentle feel of Byleth’s lips out of her mind, a new and fresh torture in a life filled with pain. “I meant everything I…No, let’s leave it at that.”</p><p>Hubert launched a spell at Ferdinand, who deflected it with his spear. There was no boasting from the son of Aegir today. “Is this what happened to my father?” he yelled. “Did he stand against you as well?”</p><p>Hubert’s voice lowered to a growl. “Do not speak of things you are incapable of understanding, you fool.”</p><p>Petra launched herself at Edelgard, who deflected the blows with the side of her ax. The Brigid hunter took advantage of the Flame Emperor’s lack of maneuverability, forcing her off balance with strike after strike. The determination and betrayal on Petra’s face spoke more than words ever could.  As the princess’ blade clipped Edelgard’s shoulder, one of Kronya’s daggers hit Petra in the wrist, causing her to drop her sword.</p><p>Edelgard limped forward, arrow still buried in her leg, as the battle raged around her. Byleth’s demeanor was something the princess had never seen before on the battlefield…hesitant, tentative, unsure.</p><p>Hubert’s spell caught Ferdinand square in the chest, knocking him from his horse. Byleth turned, and instinctually closed her eyes. Edelgard felt that familiar nausea and greyness wash over her, as Ferdinand returned to his saddle, and Hubert’s spell melted back into his gloved hand. Edelgard frowned. She had to stop this. Before her teacher had a chance to recover, the Flame Emperor stumbled forward and desperately tackled Byleth.</p><p>She had only a second to look at the surprise and shock in the mercenary’s eyes before the walls of the ancient building rippled and changed into painfully familiar scenery. Edelgard knew what was coming, knew how the story ended.</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard fell to her knees, a wilted flower desperately grasping the Sword of Seiros. She had failed everyone. Her siblings, her people, her country…she could feel the blood flowing out of her, the price of her failure. Even the Crest of Seiros abandoned Edelgard, here, at the end.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth held the Sword of the Creator, her green eyes empty of all the tenderness and affection that had been Edelgard’s private treasure. Now, there was just a void-a blankness deep inside the mercenary. She and the Sword of the Creator were one-a terrible and brutal weapon, one that destroyed whatever it was aimed at without hesitation or feeling. She had truly become the Goddess, something far removed from human frailties and concerns.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But Edelgard was not the only one struggling with her destiny. “Edelgard.” The mercenary lowered her sword for a moment, and for an instant, her humanity came tumbling back.  “Please stop…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I cannot stop.” The Flame Emperor coughed blood all over the ancient floor. Yet another beautiful thing she had spoiled. “Even if my…arms…and legs failed me…I have to free this world from the lies…I have to make things…” Her strength failed her, and for a moment, she collapsed to the ground.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She felt Byleth’s arm raising her up, gently, and she looked up into the green eyes of her teacher. She knew what she must do. If she lived, she would be a figurehead for the Imperial forces, a symbol to rally around. And…she knew where they would put her. Back in the dark…back with the rats. She couldn’t. She wasn’t brave enough.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It looks…as though my path will end here…” gasped the Flame Emperor. Byleth tried to pull her student to her feet, but Edelgard pushed her away. “My teacher…you must claim your victory.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth’s eyes widened in horror.</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>Strike me down!” The words tumbled out in a scream, saturated with a lifetime of regrets and unfulfilled dreams. Filled with hatred for a world that tormented and mocked the girl’s pitiful little hopes at every turn. “You must!”</em></p><p>
  <em>The Ashen Demon began to back away, as if either of them could flee from this terrible destiny-the great story with which the Goddess had ensnared them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I…Edelgard. I…can’t. I-.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard smiled. “I know. And I will love you until the end of time, always and forever, Byleth Eisner.” She coughed again, sending more of Seiros’ blood onto the palace floor. “But if you do not act now…all across the land, people are killing each other. It will go on forever, my teacher.”<br/>
<br/>
Byleth’s arm began to shake. “I promised you…I promised I would protect you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Your path lies along my grave. It is time for you to find the courage to walk it.” Edelgard lowered her head, accepting the role that Goddess demanded. For this story to be finished, the villain must be struck down by the hero. And after so many sins, and after so much rejection…she was so very tired. “If I must fall…let it be by <strong>your </strong>hand.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Enlightened One pulled out the necklace her student had given her five years ago, and stared at it as if begging for a miracle. But Edelgard knew that miracles did not happen for people like her. Finally, a look of determination crossed Byleth’s face, and she raised the Sword of the Creator above her head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard looked up at her teacher, as the dawn’s rays lit Byleth’s face in an angelic halo. She really did look like a Saint, a Goddess come to earth. She was so beautiful. As Edelgard looked into the eyes she loved so very much, she decided that those were the last things she ever wanted to see. She smiled.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I wanted…to walk with you…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The sword came down.</em>
</p><p>Edelgard was pulled to the world…back to life, only to see Byleth gasping for breath, utterly exhausted. Her weapon was still pointed at the Flame Emperor. She stared down at Edelgard in shock. “You-you know…” she murmured. “You remember when I change things...”<br/>
<br/>
Byleth screamed in pain as a dagger slashed her arm. Kronya had dealt a glancing blow, but the Ashen Demon reacted with primeval wrath. Driven by a mercenary’s instinct, the Sword of the Creator emanated its strange, eerie light, and Byleth flung the flails of her sword at her attacker.</p><p>Kronya tried to dodge, but the weapon caught her in the face, and the girl crumpled to the floor, a horrific gash carved into the space her left eye once occupied. A glimpse of pale white skin could be seen through her bloodied fingers. She rolled on the ground, screaming in pain, while Byleth looked on in horror.</p><p>The Ashen Demon stared at the Sword of the Creator, filled with fear and disgust at her actions. She closed her eyes, and for a moment, the world turned grey…but nothing happened. Over and over, she tried. Byleth’s breath becoming more rapid, the look of concentration on her face more and more intense-but in her exhaustion, she could not change what she had done.</p><p>Edelgard gazed ahead, as she felt Petra and Dorothea gently grab her arms. All the fight had left her. Hubert was being roughly dragged down the stairs by an enraged Ferdinand, while Lysithea was frantically using a healing spell on a whimpering Kronya. The Flame Emperor felt empty.</p><p>It did not matter when she died, really. She knew how it all went. There was a mechanical, rigid numbness in each faltering step the captive took. Each one bringing her closer to that fateful moment in Enbarr. If your death was sealed by the fates, were you even truly alive? Had the Flame Emperor ever really lived at all?</p><p>“Edie…” Dorothea was quietly simmering with rage. “How could you do this to us?…how could you do this to <em>her</em>?”</p><p>“Do not be talking to her...” Petra muttered. “I have been thinking you were different…that you were not like the people using me and stealing me from my home-but that is not being true, is it?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor did not respond.</p><p>Rhea stood in the center of the Holy Tomb, flanked by Seteth and Flayn. As Edelgard was brought before her, the Archbishop’s body trembled with passion and fear. She gestured for Byleth to join the space next to her, only returning her attentions to the Flame Emperor once the Enlightened One returned to her side.</p><p>“How disappointing…” she muttered, more to herself than anyone else. Her voice lowered to a whisper, a deep sadness blanketing her rage and hate. “Wil...Forgive me.” She raised her eyes again, and there was no mercy left in Rhea’s expression. “You are a descendent of House Hresvelg! Do you know what it means for you to betray the Church?!”</p><p>Edelgard did not respond to the Archbishop’s ravings, and turned to Byleth. The Flame Emperor shook her head, spirit crushed. “My teacher…I knew it would come to this…I…”</p><p>“Silence, heretic!” Seteth moved to try to calm down the Archbishop, but she pushed him away in a frenzy. “Byleth!” She turned to the Enlightened One, still staring at Kronya’s blood slowly dripping from the Sword of the Creator. “Kill her at once!”</p><p>Byleth’s eyes widened in shock. “I…Rhea...”</p><p>“It must be done.” The Archbishop’s voice was filled with all the authority and power of Sothis herself. “She is a plague on Fódlan...the Goddess would never permit such a dangerous and rebellious heart to continue beating.”</p><p>Edelgard could only lower her head in response. It was the truth. The Goddess hated her, just as much as the girl hated herself. She despised every ugly, tainted little piece of Edelgard von Hresvelg. The murderer. The schemer. The traitor. The weapon. The Flame Emperor. The villain.</p><p>As Edelgard stared up at her teacher, time itself seemed to merge. She was a child, abandoned in the dungeons of Enbarr, screaming in vain for the Goddess’ protection. A little girl pleading for some safety, some comfort that never came as men cut her open, over and over again. She was an Emperor, coughing blood on the floor of Enbarr, killed by the woman she loved as part of some cruel celestial plan. She was a girl, forced to watch as the Goddess took away Byleth, this small piece of happiness Edelgard had dared to find.</p><p>All of these rejections were part of a single terrible story-<em>no one will ever truly love you, Edelgard. Even the Goddess Herself hates you, even something that good despises everything that you are.</em> <em>You were always meant to be alone.</em></p><p>The words, from so long ago, came rushing back to the Flame Emperor’s mind. <em>The Goddess loves and protects all that is good and beautiful.</em> Edelgard fought back the fresh spring of despair that welled inside her, sending her tumbling headlong into the endless darkness. It was just like her nightmares had shown her, over and over; just like the whispers in the fringes of her mind that she had tried to ignore for so long. </p><p>She was evil. She was ugly. She was worthless. She did not deserve to live.</p><p>She swallowed all the beautiful lies she had made for Byleth, all the promises of tenderness and devotion. There was no place for all her quiet, hopeful thoughts and desperate little dreams. No room for a peaceful cottage, or warm arms, or for love to fill the terrible blackness inside Edelgard that was bigger than everything.</p><p>The Enlightened One stepped forward, and held the Sword of the Creator in front of her, face impassive. For some length of time, there was no movement, no words spoken inside the Holy Tomb. She was as still as one of the ancient reliefs that watched over this blessed place.</p><p>And then something indescribable happened. Something that reignited the flame of hope that had so long lay dormant. Edelgard von Hresvelg received her miracle. The moment of grace she had prayed and begged and screamed for in the endless dusk.</p><p>Byleth lowered the Sword of the Creator, and walked toward Edelgard. And she grinned, just as she did that evening in the rain at Remire, the sides of her lips curling up ever so slightly. It was so elusive, so subtle, no one but Edelgard would have ever noticed it. It was a secret message, meant only for the girl who had dreamed of that smile for countless nights. The Flame Emperor felt her icy, dead heart begin to beat rapidly.</p><p>Byleth turned, and pointed her divine sword at the Archbishop.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>The words came out, clear and strong, filled with a life and vitality that made the Flame Emperor’s soul dance and spin through the air like a songbird in flight.</p><p>“I have to protect Edelgard.”</p><p>For a brief moment, the Enlightened One, the holy savior of Fódlan, turned back to the Flame Emperor, that terrible weapon forged from destruction and hate. And as she gently laughed, and once again stood between Edelgard and danger, her teacher did something wondrous. A simple gesture that restored El’s shattered faith-bursting through the snow like the first flower of spring.</p><p>Byleth Eisner, avatar of the Goddess, reached out her hand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Before I begin: Today is actually the first day for pre-orders for the Edelgard zine, Forging Dawn! I've had a front-row seat to watch the creation of this amazing labor of love, and the quality of art and writing I've seen is just astonishing. All profits go to a really deserving charity, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Further details and the link to the pre-order are here: https://mobile.twitter.com/EdelgardFanzine/</p><p>I think that this scene and choice-this moment of pure belief and love-is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in...well, anything. I know that this is the Internet, and we're not supposed to be sincere, but I still find it genuinely affecting, even a year later, and I suspect I always will.</p><p>If you're curious as to the tally of things that changed from/as a result of the Silver Snow visions: 1) Edelgard rashly giving Sylvain her manifesto last chapter made him step back, giving Marianne and Bernadetta the courage to do the same 2) Edelgard decides to say "screw it" and kiss Byleth before the tomb and 3) Byleth accidentally hurting one of her students deeply shakes her. (Yes, Kronya is getting an eyepatch. It just felt right.)</p><p>Next chapter is an interlude (seriously) and it's going to answer a very important question about the story. If you're looking for clues: This is something that has always been planned. There is a massive thematic hint at the very beginning of Chapter 3, and two other big, explicit ones in Chapters 26 and 33. After that, the Black Eagles are going to need to hash out some issues.</p><p>I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and the story so far.  El's a very special character to me, and I deeply appreciate the outpouring of support for this crazy, quixotic project. I'll see you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. The Endless Winter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>IMPERIAL YEAR 1185-GARLAND MOON</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>You remember the dream. It was so special. Papa and you were returning to Remire from a mission. You liked it when it was just you and Papa. He was the one person who did not scrunch up his face, or turn away, or mutter words about you under his breath. As he held you in his arms, you felt your eyes grow heavy, and for once, instead of endless white, you dreamed of a world with color and life.</p><p>There was a garden, filled with flowers, and a little tea-table in front of a happy little cottage. A woman came out the door, her hair tied up in a ponytail that hung loosely at her side. She had beautiful silver hair, and the gentlest eyes you had ever seen-the color of the lilacs that now surrounded you. Her face was kind, and soft, and as she saw you, it lit up with an emotion you somehow knew was love. No one had ever looked at you like that before. She reached out a hand, and then you awoke.</p><p>You never had understood what the word meant, but in that dream, you realized that you were home.</p><p>As you stood in the palace of Enbarr, the Sword of the Creator covered in Edelgard’s blood, you finally realize that she was that woman. The numbness inside you grows. You lost Papa. You lost Sothis. And now…</p><p>Edelgard’s crown had been knocked aside, and with her white hair flowing free, she looked like the tiny girl you remembered. The one who had sat up countless evenings as you graded papers, and joined you for nightly walks around Garreg Mach, and helped you discover your favorite flowers and foods and-</p><p>
  <em>You loved her.</em>
</p><p>The words strike you like a poisoned arrow, and it is all you can do to remain standing as the Church of Seiros soldiers let out a cry of victory. A hand firmly grasps your shoulder, and you turn to see Seteth looking down at the Flame Emperor’s body.</p><p>"At last…it is over. Now we must find Rhea.”</p><p>Over and over he had told you that there was no choice. That you had to kill her, and so you did. You are not even given a moment to grieve, and you begin to understand that none of this has really ever been about Byleth Eisner at all. Seteth commands the Church soldiers to search the palace, but you simply close your eyes, trying to hide the sight of Edelgard’s blood from your mind. At the end, she was so broken…as if she knew that this was what was always going to happen.</p><p>You stagger outside, into a sunshine that seems to mock you with its brightness and life. Ever since that night, when you had stood silently as Rhea ordered you to kill your beloved student, the familiar void inside you has grown and grown. Before…you had been so dreadfully alone, and by making a choice, you would hurt someone you cared for. You were terrified of losing either Rhea and Edelgard, and so you did nothing. And now, the tides of fate had led you here, to a bloody sword and a broken heart. You don’t feel fear-you don’t feel anything at all. This is how you were before Garreg Mach. Empty.</p><p>“Professor.”</p><p>You turn, and Dorothea takes a seat next to you. Her eyes are bloodshot, and the bags underneath them speak to countless nights without rest. All your students look like that. Once, the Black Eagles had been a family, but five years apart had shattered those bonds. No one talked or laughed anymore. You were all just strangers, united solely by the shared tragedy of Edelgard’s betrayal. She looked around at the aftermath of battle, and the defeated Imperial soldiers, faces filled with despair.</p><p>“Edie’s at peace now. Her and Hubie.” There is a delicate tremble in her speech. “If they had to be…if it had to be anyone, they’d have wanted it to be you.” The two of you sit quietly, before she again speaks. Your silence always seems to make people reveal their innermost thoughts. “I was so angry with her…but Goddess, I just wish she’d told us…”</p><p>You nod, the only response that feels possible in this dreamlike moment, as you watch Petra attempt to comfort a sobbing Lysithea. The mage had become so weak, and her body shakes from the tears and from the coughing that now mix together so frequently. She pushes Petra away, and disappears into the streets of Enbarr.</p><p>“Hey, Professor…”</p><p>Caspar smiles awkwardly at you, one hand placed self-consciously behind his head. He is carrying a painting, covered in a white cloth. “I found this upstairs in…” he pauses. “Well, in her room. I think…she’d want you to have it.” With typical coarse charm, he shoves the painting into your hands, and wanders away in a daze.</p><p>You and Dorothea stare at the object for a moment, before you reach out with quivering hand to reveal what lies hidden beneath the sheet. Dorothea’s hand shoots out to stop you, and she shakes her head slowly. “Not now, Professor,” she whispers. “Not yet.”</p><p>The sound of shouting and yelling distracts the two of you from your grief, and you see a crowd of Church soldiers gathering around a figure. As you and Dorothea stand, a creeping dread begins to well inside you, the knowledge that everything is about to change forever.</p><p>As you force your way through the crowd, you see Dedue, dragging the Flame Emperor’s body through the streets. She looks so small. He is bellowing with a terrifying rage, and the Church soldiers have begun to batter Edelgard’s corpse with whatever objects they can throw. She has been brutalized, over and over, with Dedue’s ax, and he holds a torch in his hands. The look in his eyes is haunting.</p><p>Ingrid stands in front of him, normally impassive face pleading, begging her former classmate to stop. No one had taken Edelgard’s treachery harder than the pegasus knight, who now remained apart from everyone, following whatever orders you gave without question. You had attempted to discuss Edelgard with her only once, and she had abruptly stood, and left the room. Most nights, she just silently stared into the distance.</p><p>“Please Dedue…I know you’re angry, but this isn’t the way! Dimitri wouldn’t have wanted this!”</p><p>Dedue glares at Ingrid with an expression of sheer loathing. “You abandoned your King in his hour of need. Do not tell me what he would have wanted.” He pushes her aside, and raises his torch aloft, to the cheers of the crowd. “<strong>Here</strong> is your Flame Emperor!” He starts to lower the torch.</p><p>Your arm moves before your mind can even process what is happening. You push Ingrid aside, and grasp the Sword of the Creator in your hands. The weapons glows and hums, and Dedue turns in surprise. That look of shock is still on his face as you separate his head from his neck. It is the Goddess’ judgement, and it is horrifying. His immense body staggers for a moment, before crashing to earth. For a brief, surreal instant, no one moves or speaks.</p><p>Your shoulders heave up and down, as Ingrid and Dorothea look at you with a mixture of fear and unfathomable anguish. The words explode out of you, as you turn and scream at the appalled crowd. “DON’T TOUCH HER!” You feel yourself fall to your knees, desperately grasping Edelgard’s shattered body in your arms. As you think back to that cottage from your dreams, the tears begin to fall from unfamiliar green eyes.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>IMPERIAL YEAR 1185-VERDANT RAIN MOON</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>It had been four days since Rhea lost her mind, turned into a rampaging beast, and fell through the roof of Garreg Mach Cathedral. Four days since you had found out the truth. She had planned to use your body to bring back Sothis. She had planned to kill you for as long as she had known you. Worse, she had not even considered you a person-it was not even murder to her. You were nothing at all-a hollow shell, an empty teacup, whose only purpose was to be filled with an actual person.</p><p>And she had begged your forgiveness, as if asking you to forgive a crime so cruel and unspeakable was not its own terrible insult. You wondered how long Seteth had known. You wondered why you did not march into the room in which she was recovering and kill her yourself. You wondered when you would stop seeing Edelgard’s smiling face every time you closed your eyes.</p><p>
  <em>“Mother…you’re here.”</em>
</p><p><em>That</em> was what Rhea had said to you, after you had saved her, and sacrificed everything for her, and killed… You shake your head. She still did not think you were real, even now. You were still just Sothis. Still empty.</p><p>Sothis, Papa, Edelgard…they had all said you were a person, and now they were all gone. And in a way…so were you.</p><p>A knock on the door to your room disturbs you from your anger. Ferdinand stands confidently, and reaches out his arm. “The Archbishop has recovered, and we are all gathering in the Great Hall. I, Ferdinand von Aegir, ask you to-“ He stops as you push past him, and you slowly make your way to the Great Hall.</p><p>It is eerily quiet. Most of your former students died in the great battle of Gronder, when the Kingdom, Empire, and Alliance had decimated each other. So many are dead, because just like in the Holy Tomb, you sat by and did nothing. Now, only the Black Eagles are left. This place had been left abandoned since the battle of Garreg Mach five years ago, and as the pain wells inside you, you understand why Edelgard never took over the monastery. There were too many ghosts.</p><p>As you make your way inside, the Black Eagles wait silently. The only student missing is Bernadetta, who was dragged from Garreg Mach by a triumphant Count Varley two days earlier. She had gone with him over your protests. Ever since Hubert had died, there was no fight left in the young archer’s eyes. As you watched wretched men like Varley regain their titles as if nothing had happened, you cannot help but wonder why you ever thought Fódlan was at peace.</p><p>Seteth stands at the top of the steps, looking down at the Black Eagles who had delivered absolute victory for the Church of Seiros. He looks around, makes certain that all are present with his usual composure, and begins to speak.</p><p>“I am pleased to report that the Archbishop has recovered enough to leave her room.” He gestures behind himself, and Rhea wobbles forward, supported by Catherine’s steady arm. “In accordance with the Archbishop’s wishes, I would like to ask you all to act as witnesses-“<br/>
<br/>
“Seteth.”</p><p>Each eye turns to Marianne von Edmund, who is looking up at Seteth with immense anger on her face. The girl had been so quiet, so hesitant since you returned. You only have a moment to wonder the reason before she continues to speak, without tremor or fear.</p><p>“When we were fighting a few days ago…all those people who turned into…” she pauses and swallows. “…Monsters. You said that it came from a ritual…that if they pledged to serve the Goddess, they received a Crest stone and blood…”</p><p>Every Eagle looks at Seteth, who begins to make his way down the steps, eager to soothe Marianne’s concerns. But her courage has started something that soon moves beyond the man’s ability to control.</p><p>“You were making people into <strong>monsters</strong>,” repeats Marianne with frightening intensity. “I prayed… I prayed to the Goddess over and over, and you…” Raw emotion overwhelms her ability to speak for a moment. “I’ve spent years thinking I was…tainted. So did Edelgard…How could you do that to us? Why did you lie?”</p><p>Rhea closes her eyes in shame, only now seeing firsthand the lives her deceptions have destroyed.</p><p>“So there’s nothing special about nobles at all, is there?” Sylvain is understandably apoplectic. “Is that why Edelgard was going after the Crest stones?” he sneers, a rage worthy of Miklan on his face. “Because you guys were using that stuff to make an army? No wonder she went to the Agarthians…”</p><p>“That is heresy!” mutters Seteth frantically, sensing the ground shifting underneath his feet. “Blood was only given to those deemed worthy of-“</p><p>“Worthy? So I wasn’t worthy?” Dorothea begins to jeer at him. “You could give Crests to anyone…and I was tossed away into the street, like…like I was garbage, <em>for no reason</em>?!” Petra holds the singer back, as she glares at Seteth, murder in her eyes. “Is…is it all a lie? Is the Goddess really deciding who gets Crests?”</p><p>The silence in the room is deafening. Rhea and Seteth’s eyes look at you, then meet for a moment, and finally, slowly, Seteth shakes his head.</p><p>“Oh…oh no…” Dorothea puts a hand to her mouth, despair evident in every word.</p><p>Your students look to you for reassurance, but there is nothing to say. The Church lied to you and tried to kill you, and you find yourself unable to care about what happens to them because of it. After all the private conversations with your students, and all their anxieties and scars from the Crest-obsessed world the Church of Seiros has created…you cannot imagine the anger and betrayal they must feel.</p><p>And then, you see the flash of a seafoam green cape and blond hair, and with terrifying speed, Ingrid has tackled Seteth to the ground, and begins to strike him, over and over again. The rest of the Black Eagles are too horrified or angered to move, and all you can do is watch with a grim satisfaction as Ingrid’s fists collide with the man’s face, her hands stained with blood.</p><p>“YOU TOLD ME YOU UNDERSTOOD!” The words come from a dreadful place, one you recognize all too well. “…WHEN YOU <strong>KNEW</strong> IT WAS ALL A LIE!” She bellows, her world of rules and edicts and hierarchies forever shattered by this unfathomable deceit. “…AND YOU DID <strong>NOTHING</strong>!” As Sylvain gently places his hands on her back, something breaks, and the knight crumples, leaving only a broken girl behind. “Oh Goddess…” she whispers, burying her face in her reddened hands. “What have I done?”</p><p>You hear the low hum of dark magic, and Lysithea is pointing a spell at the Archbishop. “Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you.” She spits out the words with immense venom. “Give me a single reason.”</p><p>Rhea has never built a relationship with any of the students. And so she closes her eyes for a moment, before turning to you. “Byleth…I…know that I have done dreadful, terrible things…but please…I love you. Help me fix this.” Whenever Rhea looks at you, it is like the world is reduced to just you and her. Once, you found those green eyes so comforting. They were an unspoken promise that there was a place for Byleth Eisner. That there was more to you than an empty void.</p><p>Now, when you look at the Archbishop, there is only a single question.</p><p>“Rhea…what is my favorite flower? ”</p><p>The surprise on the Archbishop’s face soon turns to fear, and then to resignation. There is no movement in the Great Hall…and each Eagle waits, the question carrying all the weight of the past five years of torment and horror.</p><p>“I…Byleth…I don’t know.”</p><p>As all color and hope leaves you, you stumble toward the entrance to the Great Hall, unable to withstand the pity in your students' eyes a second longer. Somehow, you reach the entrance, and you look back at this woman who says she loves you, but does not know you at all.</p><p>“Lillies. Lillies are my favorite flower. Edelgard knew. And now she’s dead.”</p><p>The words are clumsy and cruel, but you don’t care. You just want to hurt her like she has hurt you. Your feet carry you back to your old room, as if Edelgard would be there, waiting for you. The girl who had loved <em>you</em>, who had laughed at your strange jokes, and did not care what a clumsy miserable dancer you were…You slam the door, only for restless eyes to fall on the white sheet in the corner.</p><p>You cannot resist it any longer, and you remove the white sheet from the canvas, already dreading what you will find. But your hands cannot stop, any more than the Sword of the Creator could not help but come down onto Edelgard’s head. Fate pulls you along, as it always has.</p><p>It is a group portrait of the Black Eagles…as you were five years ago. Petra and Marianne and Caspar and Hubert and…and in the center of the laughing, cheerful Black Eagles are a girl with white hair, and a teacher with blue hair. Two women whose faces are filled with the quiet joy and contentment of finding a family. A home. A place where they belonged.</p><p>You reach out to touch the picture, as if by making contact with Edelgard, you can bring back to life those precious memories now locked forever in the ruined stone of Garreg Mach. But for all your immense power…for all the might and authority of the Goddess that you now wield…you cannot bring back the love that slipped through your fingers like sand.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>SEIROSIAN CALENDAR YEAR 1190-PEGASUS MOON</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“And finally, Ferdinand is requesting more troops to help suppress the rebellions near Enbarr.” You give a distracted nod, signing more paperwork you don’t understand. You are the Archbishop of a Church that you know so little about. The Sothis they worship is not the prickly, odd, sweet little creature that once lived in your head-the mother you never had, the person you miss every single day. The Crests are false. None of that matters.</p><p>You had tried to pursue reform, filled with anger and loathing for what Rhea’s lies had cost this world, but the old nobility battled you every moment of the way. It soon risked another war, and with the continent already devastated, you acquiesced. You certainly did not have Claude’s grasp of political maneuverings. You were a mercenary from the woods, forced into a role that felt just as unnatural as the white cape and crown you now wore daily.</p><p>Seteth pushes closer to you. “I understand you may be preoccupied, but this rebellion is more serious than the last few…” He shakes his head. “We cannot afford another war, and these…insurgents continue to appear. They are using the old Empire as a rallying cry…claiming to fight for humanity’s freedom. We may need another public condemnation, using your status as Archbishop to…”</p><p>“Seteth. Leave her alone.”</p><p>Your heart lightens as you hear your closest confidant, the head of the Knights of Seiros, enter the room. After the war, many of your students and companions scattered to the wind-Dorothea and Petra fled to Brigid in disgust, Catherine and Shamir left for Dagda, Marianne and Lysithea had disappeared to parts unknown, Sylvain and Ferdinand had thrown themselves into the political arena…</p><p>But Ingrid had stayed. You had heard Sylvain beg her to return to Faerghus with him, but she had refused, telling him that she could not bear to leave you alone. The two of you had always been close-not to the extent of Petra or…or <em>her</em>-but the five years you had spent together as Archbishop and knight had forged an unbreakable bond.</p><p>Really, you were the same. Two women who had fruitlessly searched for acceptance, desperately trying to please people who had only wished to use you. Ingrid’s father had disowned her, and you never wanted to see Rhea again for as long as you lived. You were both orphans. And now you played the roles the world had molded you, united by the shared grief of losing the one person who had always told you to be more.</p><p>Neither of you mentioned her. It was not your way, or the stoic knight’s. But the grief was there with you both, at every moment-when the two of you quietly drank tea together in the courtyard of Garreg Mach, or in the charm in the shape of eagles’ wings that never left your neck.</p><p>Ingrid looks at you, and smiles that sad, lonely smile you know so well. It means that someone or something is about to tear open old wounds. “The…the sculptor is here, Professor.” She still calls you Professor. What few students you still see all do. It is the one link to the person you used to be, before Rhea tore your soul from you, and forced you to live her mother’s life.</p><p>One of the secret truths that the Church of Seiros keeps buried is that the Archbishop’s headwear, that ridiculous regalia, <em>itches.</em> As you silently walk with Ingrid down the long stone hallway, and take your seat in the audience chamber that has become your prison, all you want to do is throw the silly thing off your head. You idly wonder if <em>this</em> why was Rhea went mad. In the end, you ignore it, just like you have learned to ignore everything else.</p><p>The sculptor is a gaunt little man, whose overlarge spectacles remind you of Ignatz. There is a table, with a small object covered in a sheet. The man is clearly very proud of his work, and he gives a self-satisfied little bow as you enter the room. You have grown to hate the arrogance and the pettiness of the people you encounter. They were not like your students-kind, brave, noble, self-sacrificing…</p><p>“I think you will be pleased with my design, Archbishop...” he crows with nose upturned. “I must again thank the Church of Seiros for this opportunity. When I was asked to commemorate the new Archbishop, well…Of course, all that I do is <em>truly </em>in the Goddess’ name and…”</p><p>“Get on with it,” snaps Ingrid, who like you, has heard these insincere speeches countless times.</p><p>“Oh, of course…” He wets one of his bony fingers with his tongue, and removes the white sheet with a flourish. “I call it <em>The Goddess’ Conquest.” </em></p><p>It is a model of you, triumphantly driving the Sword of the Creator into a snarling woman wearing a horned crown. As the Enlightened One crushes her beneath her boot, the Flame Emperor holds a dagger behind her back, eyes filled with treachery and malice.</p><p>It looks nothing like the kind girl you knew who fed the monastery cats. It looks nothing like you. You were no hero. Just a killer following Seteth and Rhea’s orders. If you had a heart, you think it would have stopped beating from the weight of your fury and grief. It takes everything within you to stand.</p><p>Ingrid is horrified, and dashes forward. She fumbles awkwardly with the sheet, trying to hide this cruel, tasteless joke. Face filled with anger, she turns and looms above the man, Lúin gripped tightly in her callused fingers. “Leave. Now. We no longer require your services.”</p><p>“But…but there is the matter of my commission…”</p><p>You grasp the man’s horrible little creation, and fling the statue into the wall, shattering it into thousands of pieces. Something terrible whispers, deep inside you. <em>This man isn’t like you. No one is like you. What could he understand of your pain? </em></p><p>Your green eyes burrow into him with a poisonous hatred. “You <em>worthless</em> piece of <em>garbage</em>!  Leave at once…” You grasp the Sword of the Creator in your hand. “Or I will deliver the Goddess’ judgement upon you!”</p><p>You are so frightened by your outburst, you fail to even notice him flee. It happens more and more…this violent anger that explodes out of you at the slightest provocation. As you sink into the chair and cover your face with your hands, you feel Ingrid grasp your arm tightly. “I didn’t know…” she whispers. “I never would have let him…”</p><p>“It is fine.”</p><p>Ingrid, thankfully, can see through the lie, and begins to guide you down the hallway to your room. You stare ahead, eyes unfocused, terrified that each day your control over who you are seems to slip more and more.</p><p>And then, miraculously, you see a flash of red. A crimson color you know so very well. The one that has haunted your dreams for so very long. This is <em>real</em>. <em>She’s here.</em></p><p>“Edelgard?” You push a stunned Ingrid away and run down the hallway as fast as your ceremonial robes will allow. You turn the corner, and there is another brief glimpse of red. <em>The library. She went into the library. </em>All you can think of is lilac eyes and bergamot tea, and you feel a strange pain in your chest.</p><p>You enter the library, and she is there, back turned to you. It is just like when you saw Dimitri, after he died at Gronder…Whether it is madness or a specter or a product of your godhood is immaterial. You are helpless, whispering words you have not spoken in years.</p><p>“Little flower…”</p><p>“I knew…” she mutters to herself, face still hidden. “I knew as soon as your eyes changed…that I could never have you. The Goddess wouldn’t let it happen.”<br/>
<br/>
“Edelgard, why didn’t you talk? Why didn’t you TELL ME!” you scream, unleashing all the pain that has built inside you for these long five years. “I <em>loved</em> you! Didn’t you understand?” You reach out your arm, desperate to see her face again…to see that smile just one more time, even if it means you are losing your mind…</p><p>“You loved a lie. A person that never really existed.” There is such terrible, awful despair in her voice. “All those false promises I made...they were nothing but a selfish girl’s wishes.” She pauses. “Please…I pray that you are happy …and tell Ingrid that I am sorry.”</p><p>Before your arm can touch her, you find yourself on the floor of the library, looking up into Ingrid’s concerned face. “Professor, you were saying…her name, and thrashing around…” the knight is completely at a loss.</p><p>“Can’t you smell it?” You turn to Ingrid in a daze. “The carnations. She’s still here.”</p><p>Ingrid’s face goes chalk-white with fear. “No…it can’t…” Her green eyes dart around the room, but there is nothing except musty old books, two grieving women, and the faintest hint of flowers in the air. “We…we need to get you to bed.” As you rest your head on Ingrid’s shoulder, you hear a noise behind you, but Ingrid pulls you closer, and refuses to let either of you turn back.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>SEIROSIAN CALENDAR YEAR 1209-HARPSTRING MOON</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“It is quite the sight, is it not?”</p><p>You cannot help but agree with Flayn. After you had crippled the Agarthians’ base, they had vanished. It had taken decades to begin to explore the strange and fantastic tunnels that wound under the earth like a giant serpent. Filled with technology that you now suppressed to keep another terrible war from breaking out. You thought all the wonders of this place had been plundered at this point-it must be something truly spectacular to merit your attention.</p><p>“I never thought I’d be back here, Professor,” mutters the middle-aged woman next to you. Ingrid’s life of training has kept her body in fantastic shape, but you can see the subtle web of lines that has formed over her face. Lúin is no longer quite the bolt of lightning it once was. But you would not trade her friendship for anything.</p><p>To hear a woman like Ingrid call a girl like you “Professor” would be considered a joke by anyone unfamiliar with your strange life. Long ago, you had been her mentor…but as your old students aged, you had escaped time’s march. You still looked the exact same as you did that day Sothis had saved you from the void.</p><p>“I must confess I do not like the atmosphere myself.” Flayn, like you, has not changed, still trapped in the body of a child. You never had the same bitterness for the girl as you did for Seteth and Rhea-all she had really wanted was a family, a promise she had repeated to you countless times. It was a longing you understood all too well.</p><p>Ingrid sighs. “We’re here.” She goes in first, to a small alcove hidden in this great maze of corridors, where a few of the elite squad of assassins-the shadow operatives of the Church of Seiros-stand silently. You could have never imagined the power you would hold as the Archbishop-nor the amount of people you would order killed, in the name of peace.</p><p>There is a strange container, and lying next to it is the body of an enormous grey-haired man, his body riddled with new and old stab wounds. He is dead. One of the Church soldiers approaches.</p><p>“Archbishop…according to the documents, this…chamber was meant to revive…” he gulps for air. “Nemesis.”</p><p>Flayn lets out a gasp of horror, while you and Ingrid stare in confusion. “He is dead…is he not? He must be!” After what Rhea told you of the man’s actions-wiping out her people in a flurry of sadistic hatred-you understand Flayn’s response.</p><p>“Yes…” the soldier nods slowly. “We made sure of that.” He turns to you. “But…this chamber…it seems that it was using his Crest to bring him back to life.” He shakes his head. “It is an affront against the Goddess’ will…and we must find a way to-”</p><p>“It used his Crest to bring him back? The Crest of Flames?”</p><p>You interrupt, not allowing the man to finish. Ingrid and Flayn are two of the only people who speak to you like a person, but with most, you order and command with a shocking coldness. You only now understand why Edelgard felt like she did-and why she and Rhea and Dimitri always seemed so terribly lonely.</p><p>The man pauses, frightened by the strange hopefulness and desperation in your voice, before nodding slowly.</p><p>“Good…ensure that it is not damaged, and transport it to Garreg Mach. I wish to study it further.” Your tone makes clear that the matter is not open for discussion. You watch them work for a while, before Ingrid grabs your shoulder, and pulls you aside, into another secluded, sparse room.</p><p>“I know what you’re thinking,” she says firmly. “Don’t do this.”<br/>
<br/>
You give a serene smile, just as Rhea used to do whenever she felt threatened. “I have no idea what you-“<br/>
<br/>
“Knock it off,” the knight snarls. No one else talks to you like this-sometimes, you worry Ingrid is the only thing keeping you human. And she is getting older every day. “She wouldn’t want you to…”</p><p>Your green eyes explode with wrath. “I am the Archbishop! I have all the power of the Goddess…Do not dare to question me! How do <strong>you</strong> know what she would have wanted?”</p><p>“Because Edelgard was my best friend,” Ingrid whispers, her voice filled with pain. “And I loved her too. And she didn’t…she wouldn’t want this for you.”</p><p>You are both silent, and all you can hear is the strange whirring of the ancient machines that lie inside Shambala. Finally, you lower your head, and walk to the door.</p><p>“I will be going to Enbarr,” you mutter dangerously. “Alone.”</p><p>You do not wait for a response, distracted by a strange rhythmic thumping in your chest.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>SEIROSIAN CALENDAR YEAR 1257-WYVERN MOON</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Professor…” Ingrid’s hand grips yours weakly. “I’m sorry…I want to stay…with you longer. I want to protect you…”</p><p>You touch her head softly. She is the last of them. Petra passed away the year before, and after tonight, you will be all alone. She has been there with you, every day…watching over you and caring for you….the tears fall from your eyes.</p><p>Who will you talk to about those happy days, so long ago? Who will laugh at your impression of Hanneman’s speeches about Crests, or the time that Claude locked Lorenz in the stables overnight? Who will make you feel <em>human</em>?</p><p>She seems to sense how broken you are, and with some of her old strength, reaches up to caress your face. “It’s all right…Death isn’t sad. Not really. We’ll all see you again someday.” She nods with her characteristic stubbornness. You know it is a lie, that you are forever separated from the people you love, but she says it with such firmness you almost believe her.</p><p>“Did I do all right?” It is not the voice of the Goddess that now speaks, nor the Ashen Demon. For a moment, it is just the lonely, sad sound of Byleth Eisner, as she loses her last precious link to her humanity. “Was I a good teacher?”</p><p>Ingrid begins to laugh, so hard and loud it turns into a rasping cough. She looks at you with her piercing green eyes and smiles. “You…you were the best.”</p><p>She falls asleep peacefully that night, still holding your hand, and never wakes up.</p><p>Seteth gives you a wide berth for the next week, knowing that even the sight of him is liable to send you into another one of your fits of rage, but he eventually calls you in to meet with a minor noble of what was once the Kingdom.</p><p>The man blathers on about some peasant uprising, begging for your help to keep the peace. He tells you about all the atrocities the rebels had committed, how they were heretics threatening the safety of the continent. You feel that familiar anger begin to well inside you. How much have you sacrificed for these fools? How much have you given up? You have given them peace, and <em>this </em>is how they repay you?</p><p>You hear yourself agree, with a serene and terrifying calmness. “Take the soldiers of the Church of Seiros…” you intone. “Teach the rebels what happens if they turn their blades against the Church.” The words sound familiar to you, but you cannot remember why.</p><p>Seteth pulls you aside afterward, grim face filled with worry. “I am…” he pauses, phrasing his response carefully. “….Concerned for you. That did not sound like the Byleth I know.” He places a hand on your shoulder. “Flayn and I consider you family. We want to be there for you if you-”</p><p>“YOU KNEW WHAT RHEA DID!” Something inside you breaks. “I didn’t ask to be your family! I didn’t want to be the Goddess! I didn’t ask to live forever! I just wanted to be <em>me</em>! To be Byleth!” You slink down against the stone wall of Garreg Mach as despair takes away your ability to stand. “Why couldn’t you just let me be Byleth?”</p><p>Seteth cannot think of anything to say.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>SEIROSIAN CALENDAR YEAR 1467-GUARDIAN MOON</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Years of work, years of trying to understand the Agarthian device, and it had led to this moment. Edelgard’s face and body had healed, and she now just appeared to be sleeping. She looked just as you remembered her.</p><p>How many attempts had it been? It was hard to recall. Years passed in the blink of an eye. This was the only thing keeping you sane. The hope that you could bring her back. That you would see her again. You needed to see her again. You couldn’t be alone for another day.</p><p>The machine hums and glows, and you lean forward desperately. Edelgard remains still.</p><p>It was just another failure. You have not cried in decades, but you wish you could. It would be good to feel something…to remember that you are actually alive.</p><p>You look again at the materials you have collected in your private chambers. Books and diaries and machines…all product of your obsession. There must be a way…a chance to…A thought comes to your mind. Rhea had tried to bring Sothis back…had she not? Perhaps if you were to combine the processes? Create a new vessel for Edelgard to-</p><p>“My teacher…” And suddenly you can see her in front of you again, smiling so sweetly, lilac eyes filled with love and devotion and so much sadness. “This isn’t you.”</p><p>You awake at your desk. Was it truly her? Or simply a product of your loneliness and madness? It does not matter. A creeping horror begins to fill you. A realization of how the years have twisted and warped you into something else. Someone cold and cruel, who would hurt someone, just like Rhea had hurt your mother and you.</p><p>You tear the Archbishop’s regalia off your head as if it were a poisonous viper. It had to stop. You would not lock another person into the cycle you have been trapped in. This wheel of fate that has ensnared Fódlan in an endless legend of violence and grief.</p><p>You flee from Garreg Mach that night, never to return.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>SEIROSIAN CALENDAR YEAR 1753-HARPSTRING MOON</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The world is different now, but that does not matter. You have your little cabin by the water, and you quietly fish, and catch small game, just like you did with Papa long, long ago. You were still famous-on those rare times you traveled, the villages and cities were full of paintings and statues of the Great War, many of them comically inaccurate. The world had long forgotten the real person named Byleth Eisner. Now, there was only the second coming of the Goddess, the woman who had struck down the mad Emperor. But still you remained, even after everything you loved had gone.</p><p>The loach is almost finished, and you have prepared a light dinner. You aren’t really sure if you even need to eat anymore, but you still do, if only to convince yourself that you are still human. As you place your meager meal on the table, there is a sound you never expected-a knock on your door.</p><p>You rarely see Seteth and Flayn, especially with Flayn now managing much of the Church’s affairs. Regardless, you have never told them where you live. You grasp a woodcutter’s ax, mainly for appearances-there is no one who can truly harm you anyway. You open the door, and she is there, hair and eyes that same familiar shade of green.</p><p>“Hello, Byleth,” whispers Rhea, just as beautiful and ethereal as the day you met her.</p><p>Instinctually, you move to slam the door in her face, but she holds it open with tremendous strength. “Please…” she shakes her head. “I’ve been looking for you for so long. I want to help you.”</p><p>“There is nothing to help me with.” You soak every word in malice, before you fling them at her, trying to injure her as much as you can. “You have taken away everything from me already.”</p><p>Rhea absorbs each word as if they were a flurry of punches, eyes downcast. “I…when I placed that Crest stone in your heart…I gave you a life. One I tried to use for my own selfish purposes.” Rhea shakes her head. “Sitri was…was my daughter. And when she begged me to save you...All I could see was a way to fill the terrible void in my own heart. To hear my mother’s voice again. I’m sorry, Byleth.”</p><p>You slowly open the door, as the words spill out of you. “I wish you had allowed me to die. I’m not a Nabatean. I’m not a human. I don’t belong anywhere. I just…exist. A wandering flame.” Rhea watches you for a moment. “And when I try to put an end to it…” Green eyes fall on the Sword of the Creator, leaning against your bed. “Time just resets. And I keep living.”</p><p>Rhea’s eyes widen. “You can control time?! Is that…”</p><p>“Sothis said that both sides of time were open to me.” You smile calmly. “But even my power isn’t infinite. I couldn’t save Sothis. I couldn’t save Edelgard…”</p><p>“Flayn told me what you were doing,” whispers Rhea with immense compassion. “You were trying to bring her back. I wanted to revive my mother…and all I did was turn someone else into me.”</p><p>“Why did you do it?” You ask the question already knowing why. But you need to ask it anyways, to get the words out. To hear it from her. “Why did you try to kill me?”</p><p>Rhea pauses for a moment, and walks to the little table of wood in the center of your cabin. Without the crown and with her hair down, she reminds you of someone else. She looks like Edelgard.</p><p>“Once, long ago…I had a man that I loved. Wilhelm. After I lost my family, I was consumed with rage and anger, and he…” She smiles, as her eyes focus on the distant past. “He saved me.”</p><p>“The first Emperor.” You remember the statues in Enbarr. “Did you...” You try to communicate your meaning with a few clumsy hand gestures.</p><p>“Not…in the way you imagine.” Rhea shakes her head. “I gave him my blood, and the Crest of Seiros, to save his life. He understood me. Believed in me and supported me throughout everything. I even used to cook for him, if you can imagine that…” She begins to laugh.</p><p>“Why didn’t you…”</p><p>“Wil and I wanted to be together, but…” The Archbishop’s hands knot together. “They demanded heirs and we couldn't…So he took on consorts, to produce heirs with the Crest of Seiros. But we only loved each other."</p><p>You grab her hand.</p><p>"Over the years, he got older and slower, and one battle…” She lowers her head. “Around Wil, I didn’t feel like I had to be Saint Seiros…I was just…me. And after he was gone, all I had left was my grief and loneliness. I thought if I could bring back my mother, I wouldn’t have to be the Archbishop anymore…and I wouldn’t be alone.”</p><p>There is only silence in the cabin, as your sympathy and anger toward Rhea intermingle into a confusing and dreadful whole. Rhea seems to understand that words are unnecessary, and squeezes your hand.</p><p>“If you truly wish to go back…to change what has happened…I believe that you can. You hold the power of the Progenitor God within you, and there are no limits to that power.”</p><p>“I’ve tried.” You shake your head with despair. “Over and over again. I’m not strong enough.”</p><p>Rhea lets out a sad and lonely laugh. “Nonsense, Byleth. I have watched you perform countless miracles. The only thing that you must truly do is forgive yourself.” She swallows for a moment. “Go back. Live the life <em>you </em>wish. The one you deserved, free from my dreams and obsessions.”</p><p>You close your eyes for a moment. “But what about you? I remember that day in the Tomb…if I fight you…”</p><p>“Then that is your choice.” Rhea nods her head calmly. “What would my mother have wanted you to do?”</p><p>Your mind travels back to a night long ago, when Sothis first awoke inside you. “She wanted me to be human. It was the first thing she ever told me. I said I was a demon, because that was what everyone called me.”</p><p>Rhea leans forward. “And what did she do?”</p><p>You laugh, for the first time in years. “She yelled at me, and told me I was an idiot and a fool.”</p><p>“Mother…” Saint Seiros’ face lights up with a smile. “Byleth, I do not know what will happen. There may be consequences to disturbing the flow of time and fate...but I know you will overcome them, no matter what. Now close your eyes, and concentrate on why you wish to return, and my mother will help you.”</p><p>You have your reason, almost as soon as Rhea speaks the words. You think of eyes of lilac, eyes that loved Byleth Eisner for who she was. You think about the cottage you dreamed of, filled with flowers, and the smell of bergamot tea and of growing old together. You don’t want to be a Goddess. You want to be human, and you want to choose Edelgard. Always and forever.</p><p>The world seems to fall away, and you feel it all begin to tatter and fray. You try to hold on, but it seems to slip through your fingers- Seteth and Dorothea and Petra and even Ingrid and Rhea…finally all you can think of is Edelgard and how much you love her. You think of her until even her name disappears, until all you can remember is silver hair and eyes of lilac and most of all, that you must protect her.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>IMPERIAL YEAR 1180-GREAT TREE MOON</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, time to wake up!”</p><p>You are shaken from your dream by Papa. You need to leave soon. You are going to Faerghus for another job. You probably will kill people, even though you don’t like to kill anyone.</p><p>“Were you having that dream again?”</p><p>“Yes.” You nod emphatically. “I was dreaming about a girl…she had silver hair and beautiful eyes.”</p><p>Papa is always so sad when he looks at you, and you never understand why. “You’ve described her to me before. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like that.” He grabs his sword and walks toward the door. “In any case, just put that out of your mind for now. We have a job in the Kingdom, and-“</p><p>There is a knock on the door, before one of Papa’s mercenaries barges in. He ignores you, and turns to Papa. “Sir…your presence is needed!”</p><p>“What is it? What’s happened?” Papa furrows his brow, and walks outside. You follow Papa, as you always do, silently watching. The rest of the company gives you a wide berth, and you feel that familiar aching emptiness deep inside you.</p><p>Ever since you were a child, you were a piece that didn’t fit. A key without a keyhole, a flame without a torch, a dancer in search of a partner. No one wanted to be around the Ashen Demon, the strange girl who killed without a change in expression. You didn’t know why, but there was an emptiness inside you-a hollowness that was bigger than everything.</p><p>“Please forgive our intrusion.”</p><p>A blond boy with sad eyes is bowing, and next to him is a smirking archer…and her.</p><p>It is the girl from your dreams. She is standing with such confidence and poise that you cannot help but stare. She senses your gaze, and looks up at you with those dispassionate, piercing eyes-orbs that seem to evaluate your every move.</p><p>Without understanding why, without changing your expression, you wave at her.</p><p>And suddenly, all that stoniness, that icy outer shell breaks, and she begins to giggle, and those cool eyes sparkle like lilacs. Like a little flower in bloom.</p><p>The words form in your mind, an echo from another life. <em>I will choose her, always and forever. </em>And somehow, deep in your cold, unbeating heart, you know that you are home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>First, a quick disclaimer-this isn't meant to be a "take that!" to Silver Snow, or to the people who enjoy that route and Rhea. I have a rare genetic disease, so I come at Three Houses' story-about a society that judges people based on genetic quirks-differently than most. It's going to inform my writing, and while I certainly try to be fair as possible, I have definite, strong opinions on the morality of each of the routes.</p><p>Anyway, one of the unfortunate tendencies that's cropped up in discussion of the game is to only evaluate the game through the more obvious parallels to us-the Eurocentric nature of the countries and the Church of Seiros as a Catholic Church expy. They absolutely exist-Edelgard is basically anime girl Napoleon-but that isn't everything.</p><p>This game was made in Japan, and there are a lot of parallels to Japanese history-the "knights" act more like ronin, Fodlan as a isolated feudal country, a hilarious one with Claude I'll bring up later-and the Church of Seiros also draws a lot on Buddhist ideas and iconography-the Enlightened One class is just called "Nirvana" in Japan, which is a state you reach when you don't have any attachments, and the idea of the human spirit being a "Flame" is pretty omnipresent.</p><p>One of biggest parts of Buddhism is the idea of cycles and reincarnation, and this game is filled with them, even the Japanese title-Wind, Flower, Snow, Moon-is about the cycle of seasons (and also an old poem about a person longing for someone throughout the year-Edeleth rights). The parallels between Dimitri and Nemesis, and Edelgard and Seiros are also explicitly stated. So Sothis' words in the prologue-"It all feels so...familiar..." are meant to immediately bring in that idea.</p><p>For a romantic like me, this (plus weird stuff like Byleth seeing ghosts in Silver Snow) was catnip. The idea that Byleth would live all those lifetimes and ascend to godhood, only to give it up for Edelgard (and their cottagecore aesthetic) was too much to resist.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Path of Thorns</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One of the consequences of Edelgard von Hresvelg’s position was that she had prepared for hundreds of outcomes and contingencies. What if Enbarr fell? What if Hevring or Bergliez withdrew their support? What if Jeritza lost what little control he retained over the Death Knight? These were all grim possibilities she had meticulously considered and planned for, dispassionately weighing the probabilities like the pragmatic rationalist she was.</p><p>But there was one future Edelgard had never dared to hope for. A secret dream that she hid deep in her sensitive, romantic heart-a fragile flower that she <em>knew </em>would never survive the harsh, cruel world outside. She could not let her hopes be dashed-or withstand another loss. And that was why the Flame Emperor could only stare in disbelief at her teacher’s back, as she shielded her student from the Archbishop’s fury.</p><p>For all her tactics and strategies, Edelgard had never considered that someone would love her.</p><p>The girl spit out some inarticulate phrase, stammering words of thanks, as if any words could possibly express what Byleth’s actions meant. The woman who had once been the Ashen Demon turned back and grinned, and Edelgard knew, deep in her soul, that everything would be all right.</p><p>“You…” Rhea sputtered in rage, green orbs shattered. “I can’t…I was so close…I…”</p><p>“Rhea…” Byleth shook her head. “Please listen. I won’t kill Edelgard. She’s doing this because she-“</p><p>“SILENCE!” The Archbishop let out an inhuman screech at the Enlightened One, a sound that seemed to carry so much despair and sadness and rage that even Edelgard was taken aback. “This is what you choose? After all I’ve done for you? I offered you a future, Byleth! With me! And you chose to side with this…<em>traitor…</em>” She glared at Edelgard.</p><p>The Archbishop slunk forward, her posture lowered to a crouch, her hands gnarled and extending into jagged talons. The pupils in her green irises began to dilate, like a wild beast sensing danger. She began to mutter to herself, her angelic voice lowering to a crazed, animalistic growl.</p><p>“You are just another <em>failure</em>…I tried to help them, Mother, don’t you see? And they still…” Her head snapped upwards, revealing two large fangs. “She’s turning her sword on her people, siding with tomb-robbers and traitors…yes, there’s nothing else to be done.”</p><p>Seteth placed an arm on Rhea’s shoulder, only for her to shove him to the ground. The Black Eagles could only watch in shock and horror as the Archbishop’s face lit up with a chilling madness. Edelgard could recognize it all too well-that feeling of losing both control, and everything you once believed about the world.</p><p>“I am the Voice of the Goddess, and I cannot allow you to wield Sothis’ power! I have passed judgement!” She grasped the side of her head, as a massive serpentine tail erupted from her, and she fell to all fours. “I’ll tear you open and TAKE BACK YOUR HEART MYSELF!”</p><p>Edelgard had heard the stories. Of the might of the Immaculate One, the great and terrifying beast that had once been the Adrestian Empire’s guardian. She knew that for her plans to succeed, that was the challenge she would one day face. But as the Archbishop grew to tremendous size and transformed, soft skin becoming monstrous scales as all traces of her humanity fell away…even the Flame Emperor felt dread in the pit of her stomach.</p><p>“So that is the Immaculate One…heh…” Hubert somehow retained his poise and calm, even in the face of this insanity. He failed to even look up, preoccupied with tearing the sleeve of his uniform to provide Kronya with a makeshift bandage for her eye.</p><p>“Hubert…” Edelgard turned to her retainer. “We need to leave. Now.” He began to prepare a teleportation spell</p><p>The massive beast roared, sending a few of the ancient ceiling tiles falling to the floor. The Immaculate One’s head lowered toward Byleth with frightening speed, only to stop as an arrow bounced harmlessly off her massive snout.</p><p>It was difficult to tell if Bernadetta’s hands or voice were trembling more. “L-leave them alone!” Despite the tremors consuming her body, she nocked another arrow, and moved in front of her teacher. For what seemed an eternity, there was no motion or words in the ancient mausoleum.</p><p>Bernadetta’s actions were the spark that lit a flame. In the blink of an eye, Petra had drawn her blades, a resolute expression on her kind face. Lysithea charged a spell and raised it in anger and defiance. Caspar elevated his gauntlets and let out a long, loud bellow.</p><p><em>This wasn’t happening</em>. That was the only thing Edelgard could think, over and over. It was impossible. They were defending Byleth. They were defending <em>her. </em>After everything she had done…despite her cruelty and lies and coldness. They still…</p><p>Ferdinand, Sylvain, Dorothea…they all stood, spells conjured and weapons ready. Even the normally passive faces of Linhardt and Marianne had taken on a grim resolve. The last to join was Ingrid, who looked at Byleth and Edelgard for a moment, before a small grin formed on her face, and she raised Lúin high in the air.</p><p>
  <em>I have friends.</em>
</p><p>It was a simple statement of fact, one that most would take for granted. But over a lifetime of loneliness, misery, and self-denial, it was something Edelgard had accepted was forever out of her reach. Another of the Goddess’ punishments…and yet…</p><p>Catherine raised Thunderbrand, sparks of divine lightning bursting into the ether. “You kids don’t want to do this…” she muttered fervently. “Shamir. Take the shot.”</p><p>The archer raised her bow, and pointed it at Byleth, cool eyes assessing the situation with a sniper’s dispassionate judgement. For the briefest instant, there was the hint of a smile on the archer’s face, before her arrow flew harmlessly over the Black Eagles. The rest of the Church’s forces began to close in, as Seteth pulled Flayn behind himself and raised his holy spear at the heretics.</p><p>“Hubert!” Edelgard could feel the panic rising in her voice, as the Immaculate One’s throat began to glow with inhuman energy. “WE HAVE TO GO!”</p><p>“As you wish, Lady Edelgard.” The dark mage nodded, and in a flash of red, the Black Eagles disappeared from Garreg Mach.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Hubert had done a fine job, reflected the Emperor. In only a few weeks, he had directed the transformation of this abandoned fortress into a busy Imperial camp, all without attracting any outside attention. It helped that with Count Varley currently under house arrest, the Emperor and her retainer were able to move through his territory with impunity.</p><p>The tower now bustled with life and movement, and Edelgard had quickly been forced to delegate troop movements and other important details. She had not had truly had a chance to talk to the Black Eagles or Byleth, who simply waited in the center of the fortress, perhaps only now realizing how ambitious and far-reaching the Flame Emperor’s plans truly were.</p><p>She was seated on a bench in a quiet corner, reviewing a report from Count Bergliez, when she felt a familiar calming presence.</p><p>“Hello, Edelgard,” said Byleth, a slight grin forming on her face. “I know you are busy…but can we talk?“</p><p>“Of course, my teacher. After what you have done for me…” The woman’s joy was contagious, and the girl could not help but feel her spirit lighten at the sight of her teacher’s smile. She placed her paperwork aside, still trying to hide the soaring feeling in her heart. Her gaze fell to the center of the room, where the Black Eagles were anxiously discussing the day’s events with one another. “How bad is it?”</p><p>Byleth shook her head. “They’re very angry at you. Some more than others, but everyone’s very hurt.” She took a seat next to her student, expression neutral. “Edelgard. I have to ask. Why?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor pushed down the feelings of embarrassment and guilt. Though she was loath to admit it, there were many things she had learned from Thales and Aegir and a lifetime buried under the weight of the Imperial crown. The worst was a tendency to bluff confidence when she felt threatened, or caught in a lie.</p><p>“I am convinced that the nobility must reform, and to eliminate the influence of Crests and create a truly free world-“</p><p>“Edelgard.” Byleth shook her head slowly. She wasn’t even upset, and that hurt Edelgard most of all. “You know that’s not what I mean. We’ve talked for so long…shared so much. I think I understand why you did this…” Those piercing green eyes began to burrow deep into Edelgard’s soul. “But why didn’t you trust me?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor traced the path of a crack through the ancient floor of the fortress. “I did not think that it was fair to pressure others to follow my path. It…has been a dark road, and I do not care for what it has made me become, or the things I have permitted…” She finally found the strength to meet Byleth’s gaze. “I thought that perhaps…perhaps I could sway you by my words and deeds. That if I showed you the world I wanted to build-“</p><p>As the Flame Emperor trailed off, the two women sat quietly, before Byleth extended her hand outward, and gripped Edelgard’s hand tightly. It was a simple gesture of love and compassion, but Byleth Eisner’s face was consumed with a strange sadness. The girl’s chest tightened as she held her breath, awaiting her teacher’s response.</p><p>“Why did you need your words and deeds?” It was just like when they sparred. The Ashen Demon methodically cut through Edelgard’s defenses, leaving the Flame Emperor naked and vulnerable. Utterly exposed. “Why wasn’t being Edelgard enough?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor was silent. Minutes passed, before Byleth finally spoke again.</p><p>“I love you, Edelgard. I’ve loved you since the night we met, before I knew what love even <em>was</em>. I…I was so empty. And you…” Her eyes turned glassy, before she gestured to the Black Eagles. “And they love you, just as much. We all want to help you… but we can’t, if you…if…” The stoic mercenary was overcome with emotion, and hung her head.</p><p>“If what, my teacher?”</p><p>Byleth leaned forward, and gently kissed Edelgard on the forehead. The Flame Emperor felt her cheeks turn crimson, unable to believe that this was real, that she could possibly experience such happiness. The mercenary was overwhelmed with embarrassment, rising to her feet and pacing before she found the words.</p><p>“You have to love yourself, Edelgard.” She slapped a hand on her palm. “All of those things you did-lying to us, putting us in danger over and over, working with the people who killed Papa…”</p><p>“I’m sorry…I-“</p><p>“I don’t want your apologies! It won’t bring him back!” Byleth leaned over her student, filled with raw, human emotion. “I want you to be the person I know you can be!” And then, all that anger disappeared, like the sea after a storm, and the mercenary tranquilly returned to her seat next to Edelgard. “All those things you did…the Tomb…all that was easy. You thought you were worthless, so whatever you chose…it didn’t matter.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor nodded slowly, head downcast, before Byleth gently lifted the girl’s head with her fingers, a radiant smile on her face.</p><p>“You <em>matter,</em> little flower. From the moment we met-you saw a person when so many only saw a weapon. You saved me.” She shook her head, as if waking from a terrible dream, and extended a hand to the Emperor. “I believe in you, Edelgard. Talk to them and tell them why. Be better. Show them the real you.”</p><p>A familiar anxiety overwhelmed the Flame Emperor, her soul twisted from years of dogma and pain. A hard shell formed with every gash the knives had cut into her skin, and each unanswered prayer into the void. An impenetrable armor created by terror and loneliness, that Edelgard had once thought unbreakable. For an instant, it all came back-how worthless she was, and how she did not deserve Byleth, and a thousand more fears that weighted down her chest until another breath seemed impossible.</p><p>But she shook her head, and looked in those green eyes, and took her teacher’s hand, and it all fell away, as if Edelgard had been born all over again. <em>She believes in me.</em> The words echoed in the girl’s head over and over. She had to better. Had to be more. She wanted to be with Byleth forever, and be a person worthy of her teacher’s trust. To create, not destroy.</p><p>After a lifetime of searching, Edelgard von Hresvelg had found something to believe in, something that deserved the faith that had once inflamed El’s heart-the love of her teacher. And she would never betray it for anything.</p><p>Still, there was one thing troubling the Flame Emperor, a single question that gnawed at her. “My teacher…” whispered Edelgard. “Why?” That single word contained it all-why did Byleth stand by her, time after time? Why did she believe in Edelgard’s goodness, when even the girl did not? And why had she thrown away her future to defend a girl that even the Goddess deemed beyond saving?</p><p>The mercenary gently squeezed Edelgard’s hand. “I just wanted to get Rhea to listen, but when she told me to kill you…I realized something. Ever since I came to Garreg Mach, so many people have told me that they need me…and after being alone, it made me feel good…to be wanted.” She smiled and slowly shook her head. “But they loved this sword, or the power, or how I made them feel. You only wanted me if it was my decision. You loved me so much, you’d give me up, just so I could be myself…” The Ashen Demon’s green eyes twinkled. “What choice did I have?”</p><p>“How?” Edelgard’s voice fell to a whisper. “How could you know that about me?”</p><p>“Before the Tomb, you kissed me, and ran away.” Byleth’s face lit up with a smile. “You told me that you didn’t deserve me...” Byleth leaned down, and her lips met Edelgard’s. A simple gesture, containing a thousand promises of peaceful days within them. “But all this year…I’ve felt like <em>I </em>didn’t deserve <em>you</em>. And every day, I’ve tried to become a better person, to be more than a killer and a weapon, because of you, Edelgard.”</p><p>The mercenary reached out her hand, and pulled Edelgard to her feet. “Let’s be better together.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As Edelgard strode toward the Black Eagles, she could already feel the discomfort and unease that radiated from many of her classmates. While some were subdued, and Linhardt appeared more curious than anything, a few of the students were clearly enraged. None more so than the first son of the House of Aegir.</p><p>“What have you done, Edelgard?” He pushed to the front of the group, and glared at Edelgard defiantly. “I have spoken to some of the soldiers here, and they have informed me that you have locked my father in his home, under armed guard!” He pointed a gloved finger with his typical flair for the dramatic. “Is this how you reward centuries of my family’s loyalty?”</p><p>“Is that <em>really </em>the most important question here, Ferdie?” Dorothea shook her head. “We all just saw the Archbishop turn into that…and before that, Edie…she…” The girl scowled at Edelgard. “Well, all I have to say is that I’m mostly here for the Professor, and not for…whatever you are. You lied to us.”</p><p>At these words, every eye in the Black Eagles turned to Edelgard. The girl lowered her head for a moment, took a deep breath, and began to speak. “Long ago, I came to a decision on the path I must take. I…knew that it meant pointing a sword at the Goddess herself…and that it was a path lined with thorns, but I still resolved to walk it.”</p><p>She paced back and forth, relieved to finally express the feelings she had long buried. She no longer had to pretend, or lie, or hide her outrage at the injustices that had long consumed this world. It was freeing, despite the fear that welled inside her.</p><p>“As heir to the throne of the Empire, I have long known that the Archbishop was not what she seemed-that she had the ability to take on the form of a beast. The Church of Seiros uses their power to create miracles, manipulating the hearts of the people who believe fervently in the Goddess.” Edelgard tried to ignore long-repressed memories of a brown-haired girl, innocently praying to a Goddess, as if She could truly hear. “They exterminate people like Lord Lonato, who rebel against this tyranny. They conceal the truth, by educating the nobility with lies about the nature of Crests and the Goddess.”</p><p>“Edelgard…” murmured Marianne. “What are you saying? Are you saying the Crests…they don’t come from the Goddess? That all this time…”</p><p>“Yes.” Edelgard nodded firmly. “Through the Archbishop’s blood, and the Crest stones, they can give anyone Crests. The Goddess has no say in it at all. We have been lied to, for a millennia.”</p><p>Many of the Eagles were astonished by the Flame Emperor’s words, though Sylvain’s face lit up with a satisfied smile. For a few moments, silence reigned, before Petra’s incredulous voice rang out.</p><p>“I am wanting to believe you…but how am I trusting you? How can I be knowing you are not lying?”</p><p>“She’s not.” Lysithea shook her head, her normally determined voice wavering with raw emotion. “I’m living proof that Crests don’t come from the Goddess.” The girl pushed to the front of the group, and bravely raised her head. “My family was tortured and experimented on, all to implant a second Crest into one of us. I’m the only one left, and now, my time is…limited.” She trailed off, as Edelgard rested a hand on her shoulder.</p><p>The Black Eagles looked on in horror, until Dorothea ran forward and embraced the girl. Lysithea squirmed for a moment, before she could not help returning the gesture.</p><p>“But why you, Edelgard?” Ingrid’s voice was filled with suspicion. “Why do you care so much? Why did you put us all at risk, and start a war…” She shook her head. “We all know this world is broken. Many of us have experienced it ourselves. But Marianne or Dorothea aren’t raising an army, or running around in a mask…” She let out a long sigh. “I want to believe you aren’t…what I saw today.”</p><p>Ferdinand nodded. “I believe that Ingrid raises an important point, Edelgard. Even if the Church is committing these heinous crimes…I do not believe that excuses your actions.” He pursed his lips. “Even if the nobility is built on a lie, it still calls us all to-“</p><p>“I can’t.” Edelgard’s voice lost much of its emotion, developing a cool, dangerous edge. “I can’t tell you why, Ferdinand. You do not want to know.”</p><p>“I believe I do.” The boy’s anger began to flare. “I think you owe all of us that much! Are we not your friends? Do we not deserve-“<br/>
<br/>
“No.” Edelgard’s eyes narrowed. “I refuse.”</p><p>The atmosphere teetered dangerously, a few of the Black Eagles glaring at the Flame Emperor, while Hubert glowered at Ferdinand with murderous intent. Byleth stepped forward to restore order, only for a laconic voice to rise above the clamor.</p><p>“I believe I know what Edelgard is hiding…” said Linhardt with a yawn. “I’ve been looking through the genealogy of the Imperial family in the library…and I found something interesting.”</p><p>Hubert made a move toward Linhardt, only for Ferdinand to stand in his way.</p><p>“Linhardt…” Lysithea began to plead desperately. “Don’t do this.”</p><p>“If Linhardt discovered something, I think we all should know!” yelled Caspar. “What could be that bad?”</p><p>“Mmm…” The healer hummed with pleasure at his friend’s words. “Well, I found out that Edelgard was not originally in line for the throne. And she also gave me a vial of blood, before the Tomb, which she said came from an individual with two Crests.” Every eye in the Black Eagles turned to their house leader, who lowered her head. “My opinion is that Edelgard exhibits all the symptoms-white hair, immense power, a reduced lifespan-of an individual with-“<br/>
<br/>
“You will desist…at ONCE!” Hubert let loose a guttural snarl, and a spell of dark energy was aimed at Linhardt’s head. “It is not your place to-“</p><p>“Edie…” All the harshness that had previously marred Dorothea’s beautiful voice was replaced with compassion. “What happened? Did they hurt you like they hurt Lysi? You could have told us-“</p><p>“No!” Edelgard felt a tempest of emotions begin to consume her. “Each day, the torrent of blood at my feet gets larger and larger. I have watched my soul become just as warped and ugly as my body!” She pointed her fingers at her friends. “But that was my choice! I don’t want pity!”</p><p>“What are you meaning that your body is ‘ugly’, Edelgard?” whispered Petra. “I am not having the understanding. You are very beautiful.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor’s eyes widened in horror, and in realization of what she had revealed. “I…I…mean…I-“</p><p>“Edelgard.” Lysithea nodded slowly. “I think we need to tell them. If you can’t show them…I will. They need to see.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor shook her head. “No. You’ve done more than enough for me already.” She pushed down the spasm of fear that consumed her, and placed her hand on her sleeve. Eyes shut tight, she hesitated, as a fear as deep as the ocean took away her breath. The thoughts were irrational, but that did not stop them from appearing, over and over-<em>You can’t let them see! They’ll be disgusted…</em></p><p>But then, Byleth’s hand was there, lightly gripping her shoulder, and Edelgard found a strength she did not believe she possessed. A bravery only possible from the knowledge of her teacher’s belief. For the first time in many years, Edelgard felt cool air on her bare, scarred skin. Her eyes remained shut, only opening after a reassuring squeeze from Lysithea.</p><p>When the Flame Emperor opened her eyes, it was not fear or disgust that she saw on the faces of her friends. It was outrage, and a terrible understanding as all the pieces fell into place. Ingrid broke the silence, her voice lowering to a terrifying whisper.</p><p>“<em>Who</em>?”</p><p>Edelgard swallowed, as her eyes met Ferdinand, Caspar, Linhardt and Bernadetta. “When the Insurrection of the Seven….happened…my father lost his political standing. The heads of the houses, led by Duke Aegir, wanted a peerless Emperor. I am the only Hresvelg that survived.”</p><p>Bernadetta let out a squeak of horror, while Linhardt and Caspar’s features were filled with disgust. And Ferdinand von Aegir, the noblest of nobles, stumbled to the wall and sank to the floor. He looked at Edelgard with a dull, empty stare. “My father…did that? And each time…I proclaimed my family’s greatness, like a fool...” His face went chalk-white.</p><p>“This is who I truly am, and the path I must follow.” Edelgard’s eyes burned with a dreadful intensity. “I <em>will </em>make a world where there are no more victims. No more children, cast into the streets. No more women, bartered like cattle. No more innocents, praying to a Goddess who does not listen!”</p><p>“But…couldn’t we talk?” Dorothea shook her head. “I understand, I really do, Edie. But a war?”</p><p>“There’s no way.” Sylvain shook his head. “You don’t get it, beautiful. People from Faerghus, they…” He turned to his childhood friend, a sad smile on his face. “After all, what’s the code of a knight, Ingrid?”</p><p>The pegasus rider closed her eyes in resignation. “To guard family, faith, and country above all.” She bit her lip. “They’ll defend the Church to the death. We’re the <em>Holy </em>Kingdom of Faerghus, and without the Church...” She trailed off, completely adrift.</p><p>“And many of the nobles in the Alliance are like my adoptive father…” Marianne looked at Edelgard with an unfamiliar firmness and resolve. “They only care about themselves.”</p><p>“I support Edelgard,” declared Lysithea. “But there’s one thing that I need answered. The people we fought in the Sealed Forest, kidnapping Flayn…Remire…were they under your command?”</p><p>Edelgard turned to Hubert. “Has Monica recovered?” The retainer nodded, and momentarily disappeared in a burst of crimson.</p><p>The Flame Emperor turned back to her friends. “I have aligned myself with individuals with a…common interest in seeing the Church fall. This continent has been the stage for a shadow war that has gone on for millennia, and like with Count Bergliez and Count Hevring, these men are responsible for the death of my family.” She turned to Lysithea, and nodded firmly. “This does not mean a reckoning will not come for them soon enough.”</p><p>Hubert reappeared, with Monica at his side. The girl let out a nervous giggle. “What d’ya want, Edel? I’m still not feeling all that-“</p><p>“Kronya.” Edelgard surprised even herself with the softness in her voice. “They need to know who you really are.” She turned back to the class. “Kronya is a victim. A girl who Solon and his men wanted to use as a pawn and a sacrifice.  She has fought alongside us and betrayed her people at a great cost…” The Flame Emperor glanced at the large gash and eyepatch on the Agarthian’s face. “And I trust her.”</p><p>Kronya looked at her classmates, a wild terror in her eye. “You haven’t seen me! You don’t…I’m not like you! I’m…”</p><p>“You saved my life. Remember, in the Sealed Forest?” Caspar’s voice was painfully earnest, his unusual seriousness drawing every Black Eagle’s attention. “I don’t care what you look like.”</p><p>The Agarthian watched the young fighter, utterly incredulous, before her typical petulance returned. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you!” Just as Solon had before, purple tendrils appeared and began to rip away the false shell of Monica von Ochs, until a inhumanly pale girl with bright orange hair stood before the Black Eagles.</p><p>“My people…we’ve lived underground, for years.” Kronya’s voice took on a strange and unsuitable vulnerability, and her red eyes were filled with anxiety. “I just wanted to see the sun, and if not for Edel, and all of you…I..didn't even know what a monster I was...” She shook her head. “You're my...my... friends. Please…let me stay. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”</p><p>Lysithea looked at the pale-skinned girl with suspicion, before she nodded slowly. "They used you too, didn't they?" All of Lysithea's rough edges disappeared. "I know what it's like to be turned into a weapon.." Caspar stood behind her, nodding excitedly.</p><p>Dorothea looked at the Agarthian's revealing outfit and put a hand on her forehead. "If you're staying with us, dear, we're going to get you some wardrobe help. It's already enough having to deal with Ingrid's lack of fashion sense..."</p><p>Edelgard clenched her fist. “All of us have been cast aside. All of us have dreamed of being more than what this world allows us to be.” In an instant, the Flame Emperor’s bravado was replaced by El’s self-doubt. “I will not begrudge anyone for choosing a different path. If you choose to leave, I will not hold any resentment. All I can promise you is that I will be worthy of the trust and friendship you showed me in the Holy Tomb. I will be better.”</p><p>She looked at Byleth, Hubert and Kronya, standing behind her, took a deep breath, and extended her hand to her friends.</p><p>“Who will stand with me?”</p><p>The Black Eagles looked amongst themselves, before Marianne stepped forward and grabbed Edelgard’s arm.</p><p>“I…I want to help,” mumbled Marianne, gaze downcast. “I know I’m not very strong, but-“ Her tremoring voice was interrupted, as Edelgard grasped the girl’s hand firmly. Emboldened, the blue-haired cleric raised her eyes off the floor. “No…no one should ever have to feel like a monster, ever again.”</p><p>Linhardt let out a long, loud sigh, and stepped forward. “I know from experience that fighting you is more trouble than it’s worth, so…” He shrugged his shoulders. “I might as well.”</p><p>Petra nodded. “We are going to be shooting the two birds with one arrow, are we not? If you are promising to help me make my homeland free…” She raised her blade. “Then I will be helping you free yours as well. Together.”</p><p>“ALL RIGHT!” Caspar let out a long yelp to the sky. “Inferno Caspar is ready to roll!”</p><p>“I…I kinda wish I was back in my room…” Bernadetta wrung her hands, staring at the flower pin on her student uniform, before a new resolve appeared on her face. “All right, Bernie!” she muttered. “You can do this!”</p><p>“I…I guess I’d always known it would end up here,” muttered Sylvain, as he looked down at the Lance of Ruin. “Happy days couldn’t last forever, I suppose.” And then his gloominess was dispelled, and replaced with a ferocious intensity. “No more abandoned kids. I’m in.”</p><p>“Oh Edie…I’m going to kill you one of these days, you know that, right?” Dorothea walked forward and grabbed the Emperor in a suffocating embrace. “Come here, you idiot.”</p><p>While Edelgard was trapped in Dorothea’s grip, Lysithea shook her head. “If I ever see you use another Crest monster…” She glared at the Flame Emperor. “You know what they did to us.” She bowed her head. “Don’t make me regret this, Edelgard.”</p><p>“I…” Edelgard blinked furiously, words momentarily lost in the face of these gestures of trust. “I promise to be worthy of your faith, my friends.”</p><p>The only two Eagles who did not speak were Ingrid and Ferdinand. The boy did not even raise his head from the floor, while the pegasus knight shook her head for a moment, before walking away.</p><p>The Flame Emperor walked over to the shattered boy, awaiting a response. Finally, he raised his head up to Edelgard, a man utterly bereft of purpose and direction. “My family is a disgrace.” Ferdinand’s face was consumed with disgust. “For years, I endeve-“ He stopped, and his carefully maintained poise fell away. “I wanted to live up to the name of Aegir...and all that time, he was killing <em>children</em>. He hurt you…I am sorry, Edelgard, but there is no place for me in the Imperial court, or at your side, except as a jester.”</p><p>Edelgard leaned down to speak, before a voice interrupted her. “Ferdinand!” Both Imperial leaders turned, to see a resolute Marianne von Edmund staring at him. “Stop that right now!” She knelt next to him, and grabbed his hand. “Don’t talk like that, please…”</p><p>“I am sorry, Marianne.” The future Prime Minister shook his head. “After all those days I lectured you on living as a noble…you must be appalled with me.” He ran a gloved hand through his orange hair frantically.</p><p>“Ferdinand. Before I met you, and everyone else at Garreg Mach…I…” Marianne swallowed. “I was going to kill myself.” The oppressive weight of her words hung in the air. “I thought that I didn’t have a reason to live…but you….you said that I did. You told me that I could find <em>my </em>purpose. That I didn’t have to be a monster.” She took a deep breath. “Well, I know what my purpose is.”</p><p>She leaned forward and gently kissed a shocked Ferdinand von Aegir, before breaking away, her face as crimson as the Adrestian flag. Her shoulders slumped in embarrassment, before Ferdinand grabbed her hand. Their eyes met, and the two students gently smiled at one another.</p><p>“Ferdinand,” said Marianne, her voice refusing to waver. “I love you. When I’m around you, I don’t feel cursed. I feel…beautiful.” She pushed a messy strand of blue hair off of her forehead. “You never worried about my lineage...so why should you worry about yours?”</p><p>The boy held a gloved hand to his lips, before an old fire reemerged. “Edelgard!” He turned with his old confident smile. “It would be unbecoming of me to abandon you in your hour of need! Ferdinand of Adrestia shall fight alongside you!” He leapt to his feet, and kissed Marianne in a fit of exuberance, almost knocking the girl over. “For you, and for Marianne, I shall forever strive for greatness!”</p><p>Edelgard gently laughed. “I am glad to hear it, my friend.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When the Flame Emperor walked outside the encampment, she found Ingrid and Sylvain. The knight’s head was resting on her childhood friend’s shoulder, as they both quietly looked up at the sky. They turned at the noise, and a bittersweet smile broke through Ingrid’s stern face.</p><p>“Hello, Edelgard,” she chuckled softly. “Beautiful evening, isn’t it?”</p><p>“It is.” The Flame Emperor shook her head. “ I…wanted to talk to both of you. The students of the Empire are one thing, and the Alliance is fractured, but you two…”</p><p>“We’d be giving up everything.” Sylvain nodded. “Our families, our homes…if we do this, we’re going to have to fight Dimitri and Felix…” He ran a hand through his vibrant red hair. “I…I’ve been looking at that manifesto you’re sending out…the one to all the nobles. I think you’re right. I can’t see another way. And that was before I found out that they can cut up kids to get Crests…” He let out a snarl. “I won’t let that happen.”</p><p>“Ingrid.” Edelgard felt a knot developing in her chest. “I know…you lost Glenn…in battle. This war I am starting…if you’d like to go…I’d understand.” She pulled out a small scroll of paper. “This order will permit you safe passage to Faerghus. I…I understand if you do not want to lose-“</p><p>“You…you idiot.” Ingrid turned, her green eyes glassy. “Even now, you still want to let me choose…” The knight stood, back ramrod straight. “Seteth told me he understood, and yet, all this time, he was lying to me. I don’t support everything you’ve done...but you and Sylvain are right. This can’t keep going on.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor shook her head. “Over this year, your friendship has made me better. I need people who will challenge me, whose idealism will push back against my worst impulses.” She leaned her weight on her steel ax. “Whatever you decide, I will always be grateful for our time together, Ingrid.”</p><p>Ingrid stared at Edelgard for a moment, green eyes meeting lilac, before she dropped to one knee. “If you will have me, I will fight for you as your knight. You will have the strength of Lúin at your-“</p><p>“I don’t want a knight,” interrupted the Flame Emperor. She ignored the look of shock on Ingrid’s face. “I don’t need a knight serving me, and I don’t need Lúin. The only thing I want…” Edelgard reached out a gloved hand. “Is my best friend, the woman who always challenges me to be more...” She looked between Sylvain and Ingrid at gave them both a sly smile. “…As my trusted general.”</p><p>Ingrid rose to her feet, a dazed look on her face. “Me? A general? Commanding troops? But I-“<br/>
<br/>
“I have told you.” Edelgard ignored the scarlet color that was now building on her cheeks. “I aim to build a world where talent is rewarded, and since the Imperial pegasus divisions have long been something of a disappointment…”</p><p>The knight and the Emperor were never the most affectionate, and so they both stood awkwardly, shyly staring at the ground, until Sylvain wrapped his arms around their shoulders.</p><p>“C’mon!” He teased, a massive grin on his face. “If you two aren’t going to give each other a hug, I’m going to-“ He winced as both Edelgard and Ingrid elbowed him in the ribs, before turning to the Flame Emperor. “So do I get to be a general too, or is this another one of those girlfriend things-“<br/>
<br/>
“Lady Edelgard.” Hubert seemingly materialized out of the shadows, before turning to the two Faerghus nobles and giving a deep bow. “Sylvain, Ingrid…I am grateful for your support.”</p><p>“Oh, don’t mention it, Grumpy,” laughed Sylvain. “Half the reason I stayed was because I’d miss your passive-aggressive insults too much, anyway.”<br/>
<br/>
Hubert let out a long, deep sigh, and turned to his liege. “I have just gotten word from my contact in Garreg Mach. Our person on the inside is prepared. Once we have the troops in position…we can begin.” He nodded. “We await your orders.”</p><p>Edelgard paused, and looked at Sylvain and Ingrid, before her face hardened, and she steeled herself for what she must do. She took a deep breath, and spoke the words that would plunge the continent into war.</p><p>“Commence the assault on Garreg Mach.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As someone who talks incessently about fantastic Edelgard's PTSD is portrayed-Rhea's breakdown in the Tomb is really, really well done. I thought playing up the body horror aspect of her Immaculate One transformation was a good way to capture what one of those breakdowns can feel like.</p><p>A lot of stuff got brought up-but some stuff that went untouched, such as the Death Knight, will come in a bit, and more attention is going to be given to the concerns that people like Dorothea and Lysithea brought up this chapter (No way am I skipping the dorky greatness of "Black Eagle Strike Force"). I wanted to tie all this chapter together under the connective thread of "love lets us be our best selves" that we see with Byleth/Edelgard, (briefly) Bernie/Hubert, Marianne/Ferdinand, and even if the two idiots don't realize it yet, Ingrid/Sylvain.</p><p>Linhardt actually started to put together Edelgard's family history all the way back in Chapter 19.</p><p>Excited to see if any of you can guess who Hubert's contact is.</p><p>Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Heretics</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the fire hissed and crackled, the Emperor of Adrestia remained motionless. The day had been taxing, not from the travel, but from the mental burden that Edelgard now carried. She knew from experience that if she were to find sleep, it would be fitful and soon interrupted with visions of cold chains and sharp knives. So instead, she sat by the flame, and thought of her siblings, and her friends, and all the people whose lives would be destroyed in the name of her ideals.</p><p>“You must rest, Your Majesty.” Hubert appeared from the shadows, and stood at attention. “Garreg Mach is but a day’s journey away.”</p><p>“I take it you have no plans of resting either?” Edelgard’s voice vacillated between affection and exasperation. “And must you call me by that ridiculous title? Even now?”</p><p>“I…” For a moment, Hubert’s attention was fixed on the buttons of his jacket. “I understand my place. I am your humble servant, and I…”</p><p>“Do you?” Edelgard let out an annoyed huff. “You have stood by my side at every moment. Supported and defended me, fed me when I was so wracked with despair that I could not move…does that sound like a servant to you?”</p><p>A log split from the heat, sending embers spiraling into the air. Hubert’s body tensed for a moment, before he released a breath, and sank down next to his liege, his posture losing much of its characteristic rigidity.</p><p>“I must admit…” he muttered. “Despite my faith in your leadership, I never expected that all of our classmates, with the exception of Flayn, would join us.” He looked down at the flower on his lapel, smiled, and let out a gentle laugh. “Even now, I continue to underestimate the Professor. Still…”</p><p>Edelgard looked at him with curiosity. “Still what, Hubert?”</p><p>He turned and stared intently at Edelgard, with a tenderness that only the Emperor had been allowed to see for so many years. “I…remember how you were. Idealistic. Kindhearted. <em>Happy</em>. The girl who picked me a flower every day from the castle gardens…the most difficult….” He paused and swallowed. “The most difficult part of my position was that…I thought that girl was gone. After all, how could I deserve to stand alongside you, when I had allowed-”</p><p>Without a moment’s hesitation, Edelgard pulled off her white glove, and gripped Hubert’s hand tightly.</p><p>The retainer looked down at his liege’s disfigured skin, and smiled a dreamy, trusting smile. “The Professor…and all of our allies. When you are around them…I see that girl again. I see my frien-” He caught himself, and let out a low, deep laugh. “And to think, I told Professor Byleth that I would kill her if she became a danger to you…”</p><p>“I wouldn’t expect anything less, Hubert.” The Emperor and her retainer turned, and the Ashen Demon stood, silently watching the campfire, a bemused gleam in her eyes. “We both love her, after all.”</p><p>“How…” Hubert shot to his feet, his face reddened with embarrassment. “How did you…”<br/>
<br/>
“You’re not the only person whose father trained them to be silent.” The corners of Byleth’s lips pulled upward. “Now, as your teacher, I demand both of you get some rest.”</p><p>“Ah…” Hubert slipped on his old confidence and poise with practiced ease. “But you forget, Professor, now that I have ascended to my father’s position…” His gleaming white teeth shone in the twilight. “I outrank you.”</p><p>The three friends looked between each other for a moment, before they all burst into laughter. “We certainly do look like the scheming villains from a storybook,” chuckled the Flame Emperor. “Though I believe that is mostly due to Hubert…” As the girl nervously played with her white gloves, she turned to her retainer. “With all the commotion, I haven’t asked. Did you have any difficulties placing your father under guard? Do you think there is any chance of escape?”</p><p>Hubert lowered his head, fixated on the ever-diminishing coals. For a moment, his black orbs seemed to suck in all the light, their reflection oddly glassy in the orange hue of the campfire. Edelgard felt a chill, one that did not originate from the frigid night air.</p><p>“My father…will not be a concern.”</p><p>“Hubert…” the Flame Emperor whispered. “What did you do?”</p><p>“I purged a traitor. A worthless noble who abandoned his sworn oaths,” Hubert’s voice rose in fervor and volume. “A degenerate who allowed children to be butchered, all in pursuit of power.” He glared at Edelgard and Byleth, daring them to challenge him. “It was unavoidable.”</p><p>Byleth began to wring her hands. “Did you really have to-”</p><p>“What would you have done? If you saw…” He gestured to El’s hands, an agony and rage beyond words consuming his expression. “If you knew that your father-“</p><p>“Papa would never do that.”</p><p>“Then consider yourself lucky that your father died a hero, and not a whimpering coward.” Hubert muttered, in a manner that expressly stated that matter was closed. “Hmph. You will protect her in your way, and I will protect her in mine. A couplet of birds, flying alongside her...” His piercing gaze met the Enlightened One. “Which reminds me…we must discuss your role on the battlefield.”</p><p>Byleth tilted her head, but did not respond.</p><p>“Previously, we were forced to use our less desirable…allies… to meet the power of the Immaculate One and her Crest stones…” The distaste on the dark mage’s face was palpable. “But now that we have obtained not only your support, but that of the Black Eagles…” The hint of a grin briefly appeared on the man’s face. “Her Majesty has a proposal for you.”</p><p>Edelgard stood, swallowed nervously, and gave a disarmingly confident smile to her teacher. “It was based on one of your lectures, actually.” She turned to Hubert and nodded. “Remember how she proposed using a small, mobile phalanx to break through the enemy’s defense?”</p><p>Byleth Eisner’s eyes shown with pride.</p><p>Edelgard awkwardly coughed, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. “You will lead our class, as a small squadron, separate from the Imperial forces. As Emperor, I normally cannot be seen taking orders from you. It would undermine the confidence of our troops. However…” El smiled warmly. “You have guided me at every step. Proven your tactical acumen beyond any doubt…”</p><p>“Edelgard…” Byleth bit her lip. “I’m not…the person or teacher you believe me to be. You saw in the Tomb. I’ve been using the power of Sothis to turn back time. I’ve made so many mistakes. I’ve watched you all die over and over.” She looked down at the Sword of the Creator. “Rhea was right. I’m just…stealing the Goddess’ strength. There’s nothing special about me at all.”</p><p>Edelgard watched the fire hiss, warming her aching joints on the soothing heat. “I haven’t told you this, my teacher…but I’ve been seeing visions. Each moment you turned back time, I saw a future. One where I had driven my friends away, discarded my humanity, and lost myself.” Her voice began to waver, but she pressed on. “I had become what I always feared-a harsh leader with a heart of ice, a monster clawing desperately in the darkness.” She shut her eyes tight. “I was alone.”</p><p>A flash of understanding appeared on Byleth’s stoic face, as her student’s strange behavior suddenly made terrible sense. “You mean…that day at the dance, or at Remire…when I…”</p><p>“Yes. Each and every time.” The Flame Emperor nodded, trying to remain calm. “But don’t you see?” And with a scarred hand, she reached out and pushed away the teardrop that had formed on Byleth’s face. “Just like the night we met, you saved me. That future has not come to pass. You say there is nothing special about you, Byleth Eisner, but you have been a great light…<em>my </em>light. You have chased the darkness away. You have allowed me to be Edelgard.”</p><p>Hubert could only stare, in shock at what his liege had hidden from him for months.</p><p>Byleth put a hand to her lips, overwhelmed by Edelgard’s words, before a spasm of fear crossed her face. “Edelgard…in these visions…”  She swallowed. “Do I…kill you? At Enbarr?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor felt all the color drain from her face.</p><p>“How did you-”</p><p>“Because…” Byleth fought to get the words out, a strangled sound that came from someplace deep inside. “I’ve seen it in my dreams. For months. I…”</p><p>Hubert stepped forward, before a dangerous look from the Emperor drove him back. Byleth attempted to collect herself.</p><p>“In those dreams…I go back to how I was before you. The Ashen Demon. Just like the other day when I hurt Kronya…it scares me, Edelgard. That there’s a part of me capable of harming you, that I could possibly <em>be</em> that person-“</p><p>“Quiet!” Hubert’s voice lowered to a hiss, and Emperor and the mercenary sprang to attention. The mage’s ebony-black eyes peered into the surrounding darkness, before he raised his hand with murderous intent. “Come out, or I’ll turn the air in your lungs to acid,” he snarled. “Now!”</p><p>“Hey, hold on a minute!” A familiar sing-song voice called out from the gloom. “It’s me, Hubert!” Kronya stumbled out of the darkness, her already pale face chalk-white with fear. “I’m sorry! I heard you mention me, and ever since…” she gestured to the eyepatch that now covered the scarred portion of her face. “I haven’t been able to sleep well.”</p><p>Over the past few weeks, Edelgard had developed an immense sympathy for the girl, despite everything she had done. In a way, she was almost an innocent, unable to comprehend why her actions were even wrong, The Flame Emperor gestured to one of the open logs next to her and Byleth, and the Agarthian tentatively joined the group.</p><p>“Kronya…” Byleth’s eyes remained fixed on the fire. “I’m sorry for what I did to you.”</p><p>The Agarthian let out a hollow cackle of laughter. “Don’t be! It was a battle! My masters always told me that my job was to cause chaos! It was all I was good for, after all...” That cheerful façade could not withstand Edelgard or Byleth’s gaze, and the Agarthian turned to Byleth, sounding like the lost, lonely child she truly was. “Really, I…I should thank you. Until you-” She pointed to her eyepatch. “I didn’t really understand what it was like…when I hurt people.”</p><p>Byleth placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I have so much blood on my own hands, Kronya. Including yours. I killed for years, without even realizing…” She looked at the Sword of the Creator, illuminated an unnerving red in the twilight. “It’s taken me so long to realize that I could give something to the world, and not just take things away.” She smiled at Edelgard. “Now I have something to fight for. You can have a purpose too.”</p><p>The assassin stuck out her tongue. “You don’t get it. Those dreams you and Edel are talking about? I have them too.” The girl shivered. “Jeralt…I kill him. The man who saved me. For no reason other than because it was fun…”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip, while Edelgard felt her mind begin to race. After her teacher had sided with her, Edelgard had tried to dismiss her visions as nightmares…if only for her own sanity. But this was something else. Something far different and worse.</p><p>“And afterwards…Solon, he…” Kronya looked down at her chest, and began to blink furiously.</p><p>Byleth knelt on the ground in front of the assassin. “It’s all right, Kronya. You’re safe.”</p><p>“He ripped my heart from my chest!” Kronya’s words came out in a strangled cry. “And all I could do is beg for help…and no one did, because I’m a <em>monster</em>!” The Agarthian’s body shook in terror and pain. “I don’t want to die alone. I don’t want to be that person anymore. Even now, I can still feel his fingers twitching-”</p><p>There were no words spoken around the campfire, and even the cool, unflappable Hubert appeared deeply shaken. Finally, Kronya spoke again, in a voice no higher than a whisper.</p><p>“I don’t think I’m supposed to be alive.”</p><p>The words played on all the fears that lurked in Edelgard’s heart. In the midst of her disbelief at Byleth’s choice, there had been a nagging little voice, whispering the back of the Flame Emperor’s mind. Telling her that her selfishness would doom not only Edelgard, but her friends as well. At least in the dark future she had witnessed, Byleth and Dorothea and Sylvain were still alive. What if in this new, uncertain future…they died?</p><p>The teacher reacted to Kronya’s words with a swiftness that she only displayed on the battlefield. She grabbed the girl’s chin, and gently raised it, not allowing the assassin to turn away.</p><p>“Kronya…listen to me.” Byleth’s face lit up with a smile. “When I came to Garreg Mach, I only followed the orders that Rhea or Seteth gave me. They wanted me to be something…I wasn’t.  And when I did something they didn’t expect…” She frowned, Rhea’s anger still clearly wounding the mercenary. “It’s like Edelgard told me…everyone deserves the chance to be more, and I’m going to help you.” She squeezed the girl’s ashen white shoulder.</p><p>“But…but…that other me hurt your father. That’s who I really am.” Kronya bit her lip. “Your father, he loved you. You had a family. Not like me. All I’ve ever done is kill, just so I could make someone care-” She trailed off, unwilling to speak the words. “I’m not even real. I’m just…hollow. I stole that poor girl’s life…”</p><p>Edelgard could see a look of immense tenderness, hidden under her teacher’s stoic expression. The Ashen Demon spoke, voice fragile. “Kronya… no one thought I was human either. My family’s gone. I never knew my mother, and my Papa is-” Byleth swallowed, her expression remaining neutral. “Maybe in that other world, we were enemies…but all we have is right now…so why don’t we choose something different, together? Let’s be each other’s family.”</p><p>Byleth reached out her hand, and for a moment, the Agarthian stared, clearly unable to understand the kindness and love that radiated from the Ashen Demon. And then, in a flash, the girl had wrapped her arms around Byleth, and began to sob.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It was late, exceedingly so, and yet sleep refused to come. And so the Flame Emperor buried her nose in a request from Count Bergliez for troop movements that she had reviewed countless times. That is, until a noise caused the girl to jump, arm instinctively grabbing the steel ax that rested by her bed.</p><p>“Edelgard.” A young mage’s familiar voice echoed outside the tent. “Can I come in?”</p><p>“Of course, Lysithea.” Edelgard had been dreading this conversation. There were many people she was afraid of disappointing-Byleth, Ingrid, Hubert…all her friends and her subjects. But sometimes, the girl looked at Edelgard…and the love and respect that shone through brought back memories long forgotten. Of how El had once looked at…No, Edelgard could never refuse a request from Lysithea.</p><p>The unearthly pink eyes of the mage seemed to shimmer in the candlelight. “I needed to see you. I…” She bit her lip. “I needed to tell you something.”</p><p>“Of course,” Edelgard busied herself, pouring a glass of water that she did not want, just so she could avoid meeting her friend’s gaze. “I imagine you are disappointed in me. For working with these people. For using them instead-“</p><p>“Turn around and <strong>look</strong> at me!” Lysithea’s voice cut thorough the woman’s excuses. “Don’t you owe me that much?”</p><p>Edelgard turned, and Lysithea’s arm was exposed, a spiderweb of cuts and abrasions marring her pale skin. The mage’s eyes glistened. “I want to know why you think this doesn’t matter. I want to know why you didn’t tell me. I want to know <em>why</em>.” She swallowed. “I don’t…they’re all dead. Because of <em>them.</em> I thought…you and I…I thought you understood that.”</p><p>Edelgard sank onto the bed, resting her head on her fingers, eyes closed. “I didn’t think you’d follow me. You, or Professor Byleth, or Ingrid…or anyone else.” She raised her eyes, and met Lysithea’s face. “And I wasn’t strong enough.”</p><p>“If you weren’t strong enough to defeat the Archbishop-“</p><p>“That’s not what I mean, Lysithea.” Edelgard’s eyes traced the canvas ceiling of her tent. “I’ve known for a long time that this was what I must do. After I was…” She paused and swallowed. “There was nothing to take pleasure in anymore. What joy could I find in a flower, or a good meal, or friendship? This world was hideous and cruel, and the Goddess hated me. It was like…the color was gone from the world. As if I’d discovered the secret truth of what this world was<em>.</em>”</p><p>Lysithea nodded.</p><p>“I wanted to stop living. I wanted to stop existing, just so I didn’t have to think about what I’d seen. What I’d let them do to my family. What I had become.” The familiar, frightening fire blazed in Edelgard’s eyes. “I was going to force this world to make sense again, so that no one else ever became like me. It was the only way I could move, or take another breath. And if I died…” the Flame Emperor gave her companion a wan smile. “…So much the better.”</p><p>A few seconds of silence passed, and the last of the Ordelias sat next to the last of the Hresvelgs, and reached out a hand.</p><p>“For years, I’ve been planning to provide as much as I could for my family, and then…disappear.” The mage’s shoulders shook. “All my other silly dreams, like having children… they just didn’t matter anymore.”</p><p>Edelgard was unsure of how long she sat with her young companion-it was as if time itself had stopped. Finally, the Flame Emperor turned to Lysithea and smiled.</p><p>“When I met you, or Professor Byleth, or any of our friends…I tried to keep my distance. I knew that eventually…” Edelgard gestured around herself with a gloved hand. “…my path must take me here. I distanced myself from the world, but despite my best efforts…you found a way in.” The Emperor’s face reddened. “You all began to matter to me…a great deal. Too much, in fact.”</p><p>Lysithea’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What does <em>that </em>mean?!”</p><p>“I know you understand.” The Flame Emperor’s voice quietly shook. “When I began this war, I knew that there would be a torrent of blood, laid at my feet. I will carry that guilt and burden for the rest of my life-and I deserve it. Using the Agarthians or bandits was one thing, but if I made friends…if they followed my orders, and they died…” She bit her lip.</p><p>“I’m following you because it’s my choice, Edelgard. I believe in what you’re doing. Don’t you <em>dare</em> take that away from me.” Lysithea’s face hardened with a characteristic determination, and she began to pace around the tent. “I’ve already had so many of my choices taken from me. Aren’t I your friend? Don’t I deserve that?”</p><p>“No.” Edelgard’s lilac eyes gazed at Lysithea with a passion and fervor that seemed to erupt from the core of El’s very being. “Friend is…inadequate. I’ve already watched the Hresvelgs die for me, Lysithea. I can’t let that happen again. I…” She paused. “I can’t lose anyone else. I’m not strong enough.”</p><p>Lysithea paused for a moment, before her characteristic peevishness returned. “That’s why you didn’t ask!? You let those men attack us in the Tomb because you were <em>afraid?</em>” She glared at the Emperor. “I know how brave you are. You cut yourself open to give Linhardt your blood, just to try and save me…”</p><p>“As I said…to call you a friend is inadequate.”</p><p>Lysithea smiled, the gentleness that lay at the mage’s core momentarily exposed. “Well, whether you want it or not, we’re family now.” She walked to the door of the tent, and momentarily looked back. “And family supports each other.” She opened the flap, when Edelgard’s voice called her back.</p><p>“Lysithea…I won’t use the Crest beasts anymore. I’ve seen what happens if I do. Who I become…” Edelgard shook her head, trying to dispel the terrible burden of those memories. “There were many difficult things, about seeing that future. Of knowing that I had lost all of my friends, and who I once was.” She sighed. “But the worst was the look of disappointment in your eyes.”</p><p>The mage walked back, and grasped Edelgard’s hand. “If you promise to stop being such an obstinate fool, then I will make you a promise as well. I will live, somehow, and we will see the future…this new dawn you want to build. Together.”</p><p>El smiled, and for a moment, she was a child again. The world did not seem quite as cruel and the night was not quite as black. It was like the first days after escaping the dungeons, when she had once again felt a gentle breeze caress her face. She had not realized how much she had needed this-to be wanted, loved, cherished and all the hundreds of other little pleasures she had steeled her heart against.</p><p>“I’d like that. Very much.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The immense might of the Imperial army hummed and whirled around the Black Eagles, as the Adrestian forces prepared to lay siege to the ancient, massive fortress of Garreg Mach. Many of the Eagles’ faces were consumed with worry and anxiety, as the reality of what soon would occur became impossible to ignore.</p><p>The Flame Emperor was not immune to those mournful thoughts. Everywhere she looked, there was a remnant of the happiest year of her life-the tavern that Dorothea had dragged her into, or the stalls that she had spent a happy afternoon shopping at with Lysithea and Petra. Garreg Mach was her home…and now, she would set it aflame, all in the name of the future.</p><p>“My friends.” Edelgard turned and looked out over her nervous classmates. She knew that what she needed to do was project confidence and strength. She was a leader, and with that position came immense responsibility. “Upon consultation with our teacher,” she smiled at Byleth warmly. “I have asked her to lead us all into battle, as the elite vanguard of the Empire.”</p><p>“Do we have a name?” yawned Linhardt. “I don’t believe ‘elite vanguard’ really rolls off the tongue, Edelgard.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor crossed her arms, and let out a satisfied little burst of air. “I am very glad you asked, Linhardt. Over the past few days, I have been deliberating on a name that would express the strength and nobility of this exceptional group of people.” She raised her fist in the air. “One that would exemplify our mission-to soar toward a new and glorious future for Fódlan, like the birds above!” Her lilac eyes blazed with excitement. “We are… the Black Eagle Strike Force!”</p><p>For a moment, there was silence. Ingrid and Dorothea’s faces became wooden, and they turned away from each other, while Sylvain’s nose wrinkled. Marianne smiled at Edelgard and nodded reassuringly.</p><p>“Isn’t it great, everyone?” Byleth wrapped her arm around Edelgard and grinned with immense pride. “Edelgard told me she spent all night coming up with it! She was really nervous about how you’d all-“ The mercenary trailed off, as the Emperor of Adrestia’s face now matched the scarlet color of the Imperial insignia.</p><p>“Hey, Edelgard.” Caspar’s face scrunched up with immense concentration. “The name’s really cool…but why aren’t we the Black Eagle Strike <em>Team</em>? Y’know? Cause then we could be the B.E.S.T.?”</p><p>“I..um…” Edelgard ran a gloved hand through her silver hair. “That is…we…I hadn’t really considered…”</p><p>“It’s a good name, Edie.” Dorothea’s lilting soprano may have sounded soothing, but the dangerous look in her eyes stated clearly that any further criticism of the name would answer to her. “It’s very…majestic.”</p><p>“Thank you, Dorothea,” mumbled the Adrestian Emperor. The girl’s face turned to each and every one of her classmates-no, her <em>friends</em>-who were now preparing to follow her on her path. Underneath her stern and poised exterior, El’s heart leapt with joy. After so many years, after so much misery and hatred…she would not walk this path alone.</p><p>“What is the <em>meaning </em>of this?”</p><p>It was <em>him.</em> Arundel pushed through a crowd of stunned soldiers, pushing aside the lance that Ladislava had raised at his face. Normally, the fiend’s malice was tempered by his arrogance and self-importance, but that mask had come off. He marched toward the Emperor, and pointed a long fingernail at Edelgard.</p><p>“That fool Bergliez tells me that my forces are to stand back from the battle! As if the Imperial Army has any chance without the power of the Crest beasts! And then….” His voice lowered to a snarl. “He told me that it was your order. <em>Is this true?”</em></p><p>The Flame Emperor felt her body and mind go numb. <em>Keep calm. Keep calm</em>. <em>You have to stay calm. </em>The thoughts rang through her head relentlessly, an emptiness crawling through her insides. For a brief instant, the Flame Emperor’s eyes met Lysithea, and Edelgard thought of the future she had seen. The ruler with a heart of ice she could have become, so, so easily. She would <em>never</em> be that person. She stared at her tormentor, desperately trying to project a serenity she did not feel.</p><p>There was a momentary scuffle, as Sylvain had to hold an utterly enraged Ingrid back, the pegasus rider filled with a righteous fury that Edelgard had never seen before. The knight and the Emperor exchanged a glance, and her friend’s faith brought a new sense of calm and control to El’s heart. She flashed Ingrid a smile, and the knight stood down.</p><p>“The Black Eagle Strike Force was the stronger tactical option. I have made this decision in consultation with Count Bergliez, and my advisors...” she gestured to Byleth and Hubert. “They are in full agreement.” Lilac eyes narrowed dangerously. “I would hope that you are not undermining my decisions, <em>Uncle.</em> We certainly cannot have the Emperor’s power called into question…”</p><p>Thales sneered at her. “How <em>dare</em> you. After everything I’ve done for you-“ He turned to Kronya, who was trying to conceal herself behind Ferdinand’s shoulder. “And what are you doing!? How could you remove your…” He paused, and gave the girl a disturbing smile. “You will return with me. <em>Now</em>.”</p><p>The girl began to walk forward, attitude similar to a horse that had been whipped too many times, before Caspar’s hand grabbed her shoulder, and pulled her back. Petra and Lysithea stood in front, glaring at Arundel in defiance. The Black Eagles closed ranks, quickly surrounding the Agarthian.</p><p>“She stays with us,” said Caspar, showing no trace of his usual boisterous good humor.</p><p>“That is not for you to decide!” snarled the monster. He turned back to the Flame Emperor, his charcoal-black eyes filled with immeasurable rage. That terrifying voice lowered to a whisper. “You have grown much too comfortable, Flame Emperor…I made her. I made <em>you.</em> You are <em>nothing</em> without me.”</p><p>And in an instant, El was back in the dungeons, and all the confidence and poise that she clutched to her chest like a blanket in the dead of winter fell away. She felt her hand begin to tremble, and her spirit weaken. Why could she not think of anything to say? Why was she such a scared and pathetic little girl, even now? The air vanished from her lungs.</p><p>“Leave.” The Sword of the Creator hummed with strange, inhuman power, as it was raised at Lord Arundel’s face. Yet for all the immense strength of the ancient relic weapon, it was nothing compared to the icy hatred that now radiated from the Ashen Demon. “They don’t belong to you anymore.”</p><p>Thales began to laugh. “Fell Star…you truly have surprised us all.” He peered at the woman with scientific curiosity. “Do you know what those two <em>are</em>? Do you know what you are defending? A being like you is the natural enemy of-“<br/>
<br/>
“I know exactly what they are.” Byleth’s voice was even and steady, but her green eyes hid a maelstrom of wrath. “Just like me, they are more than weapons.” She turned to the rest of the students. “All of my students are. They are more than Crests or titles or whatever destiny you have planned for them.” That expressionless face lit up with a beaming smile. “They are my family, and I won’t let you have them.”</p><p>Thales simply glared at the Ashen Demon. That is, until Hubert’s gloved arm crackled with dark magical energy, matched only in vehemence by the venom marring his expression.<br/>
<br/>
“I believe the Emperor has made her position quite clear, Lord Arundel. If you have any further questions, I would ask you to direct them to either myself or Count Bergliez.” He glared at the man. “Now go. We do not require your services for this battle.”</p><p>The outrage on Thales’ face lingered for only another instant, before it fell away, replaced by the preening superiority that Edelgard knew so very well. He backed away, shaking his head slowly. “As you wish, <em>Emperor</em>. But if you lose this battle…” He turned back to Kronya, his teeth bared like a predator. “If you think they will ever truly accept you, you are sadly mistaken. You have no home. If I ever see you again, I’ll gut you until you squeal like a pig.”</p><p>“Talk to one of my soldiers and friends like that again, and I’ll have you executed for treason and sedition.” The Flame Emperor’s voice lowered to snarl, as she tried to regain control. “And by the way…Jeritza has been requisitioned to my command. He no longer answers to you.” Edelgard glared at the man who had taken so much from her. Who in another world, had turned her into his pawn. “And neither do I.”</p><p>Lord Arundel left without another word, and for a moment, Edelgard’s shoulders rose and fell, her chest filled with exhilaration and fear in equal measure. This had been another battle…one just as important as the siege of Garreg Mach. As she turned to her classmates, and saw the look of pride in Lysithea’s eyes, she realized she had passed the test.</p><p>“My friends…the Black Eagle Strike Force attacks at dawn.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“It is just as we predicted, Your Majesty…the ballista the Church have placed along the outer walls will prevent any approach.”</p><p>“Thank you, Hubert.” The Flame Emperor turned, and nodded at the leader of the Empire’s squadron of pegasus knights. “Ingrid. Your role is to eliminate their artillery to allow our cavalry to engage. You will not have support.” She gripped her ax tightly, and stared at her friend. “If you become overwhelmed, you are to retreat, understand?”</p><p>Ingrid shook her head. “It won’t come to that, Your Majesty.” She turned back to the squadron of knights she now commanded, her steed emblazoned with the crimson color of the Empire. “Into the cloud cover everyone…we’ll dive on my signal.” Edelgard nervously followed the regiment’s path, high up into the sky, until they disappeared into the morning fog.</p><p>Edelgard’s attention turned to Ferdinand and Sylvain. “Once Ingrid has attacked, Ladislava and Randolph will engage the Church’s forces to our left, while Professor Byleth and I rendezvous with Hubert’s contact on the right. You must hold the center.”</p><p>Sylvain and Ferdinand nodded in understanding, while the mages, clerics and archers of the Black Eagle Strike Force followed behind. Byleth turned to Edelgard and placed an arm on her student’s shoulder. “We’ll all make it through. I can’t talk to Sothis anymore…but I asked her to watch over everyone. Especially you.”</p><p>Edelgard was unsure if she was more astonished at Byleth asking the Goddess to bless a revolt against Her own Church, or jealous of the relationship her teacher had built with a Goddess who had for so long ignored El’s pleas. Either way, the Flame Emperor was rendered speechless, and could only watch the silent, grey skies above, hoping fervently for Ingrid’s safety.</p><p>It happened faster than even Edelgard’s eyes could see. Ingrid and the other knights dove out of the clouds with all the power of a divine thunderbolt, sending a few unfortunate Church soldiers flying off the tower. Lúin cut through the reinforcements as if the stone and metal were made of paper, and in an instant, the two structures collapsed off the side of the ancient ramparts, sending brick and iron and man falling to the earth below. The war had begun.<br/>
<br/>
Ferdinand turned to his soldiers, raised his spear high, and yelled to the heavens. “Today, my friends…we fight for honor! We fight for freedom! We fight for Adrestia!” He galloped forward, as the Empire’s catapults began to bombard Garreg Mach’s entrance.</p><p>Sylvain watched Ferdinand charge for a moment with amusement. “C’mon guys. What he said!” And with a loud bellow, he charged forward to join the battle. </p><p>Byleth Eisner stood for a moment, tightly holding the pendent that Edelgard had gifted her, before returning it to her neck. “My teacher.” Edelgard placed a glove hand on her shoulder. “Let’s move.”</p><p>Garreg Mach was an ancient fortress, built on mountainous terrain, and this meant that the only path to capture the monastery was a frontal assault. Of course, this also meant that any battle would quickly devolve into a brutal conflict. Ingrid’s group of pegasus knights were already engaged in combat with a squadron of wyverns, led by Seteth. Meanwhile, many of the Knights, such as Gilbert and Alois, were attempting to drive back the Empire’s cavalry.</p><p>As Edelgard saw a massive explosion envelop the central courtyard, she gave a satisfied smile. The Seiros Knights may have been strong, but they were unprepared for the strength of the Empire’s mages, led by Lysithea and Dorothea.</p><p>The pathway to the right wall was silent, as the mercenary and the Emperor made their way through a cobblestoned path, lined by trees…one that was all too quiet for the chaos that now surrounded them. Months ago, Byleth and Edelgard had aimlessly walked this path, the princess fruitlessly attempting to convince her teacher to accept help for her untidy blue hair…it felt like a different life.</p><p>“Halt, traitor!” screamed a knight, flanked by four other Church soldiers. “The Emperor and her lapdog…I always knew there was something up with that freak who didn’t speak!” Edelgard raised her ax, only for Byleth to step forward.</p><p>“You have one warning. Leave.”</p><p>The man began to laugh. “You can’t take out five Knights of Seiros-”</p><p>Byleth’s eyes never wavered. “Kronya. Hubert. Now.”</p><p>From the trees, daggers buried themselves in two soldiers’ necks, causing them to collapse with a sickening gurgle. As the other soldiers’ heads whirled around in a panic, a mauve quagmire of magical energy coalesced at the soldier’s feet. They tried desperately to move, but the mass crawled up their legs, immobilizing them. Byelth unsheathed her sword, and in an instant, they were cut down.</p><p>Kronya and Hubert appeared out of the shadows. “Nice work, you two,” said Byleth quietly, as the approached the outer wall. “I wish you’d tell us who this contact is, Hubert.”</p><p>The dark mage gave a grim laugh. “If there is one thing I have learned in my life, it is to never assume that a conversation is private. It was safer this way.” He looked at the outer wall with a tinge of annoyance. “Now where is he…”</p><p>The wall collapsed in an explosion of magical energy, and as the smoke cleared, it revealed a grey-haired, spectacled man with an absent-minded expression…one that Edelgard had never expected to see.</p><p>“Professor <em>Hanneman</em>?” Edelgard’s mouth fell open. “I’m thrilled that you’re supporting us…but why?”</p><p>Edelgard had avoided the Father of Crestology for her entire time at Garreg Mach-as perhaps the world’s foremost researcher on Crests, he would have been able to identify Edelgard’s condition in an instant. Edelgard’s ambitions would destroy the very thing around which the man had oriented his life. And even he was standing alongside her…</p><p>Professor Hanneman’s eyes blazed with a fire that Edelgard recognized all too well. There was something hidden behind those eyes, a pain and sorrow and loss that clearly haunted him at every moment. A fire that originated from asking the same terrible question-<em>How can this be?-</em>over and over without receiving an answer.</p><p>Hanneman gave Edelgard a sad, gentle smile. “My dear, when all this is over…I will tell you about my sister.” His eyes turned to Hubert, and he bowed. “Count Vestra, Professor Manuela will join us momentarily…that ridiculous woman insisted-“</p><p>An arrow flew through the air, and landed in Hanneman’s shoulder. As Hubert helped Hanneman to his feet, Byleth, Kronya, and Edelgard turned to see Shamir, arrow nocked and ready. Next to her, Catherine held Thunderbrand, divine sword raised to Professor Manuela’s neck.</p><p>Shamir’s normally expressionless face was oddly hesitant, but Catherine was filled with a terrifying fanaticism. “Some spy you are,” the zealot scoffed. “Did you really think my partner wouldn’t notice two professors skulking around?”</p><p>The greatest warrior of the Knights of Seiros shoved the healer to the ground, before raising Thunderbrand to the sky.</p><p>“Lady Rhea tells us that the Goddess’ vengeance is pure and just.” The sword crackled with the Goddess’ lightning. “And after everything you bastards have done, I’m going to enjoy taking you apart…nice and slow.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fanfiction, by its very nature, is always going to be meta-what if a character did this instead? How would things change? (The Aeneid is literally fanfiction that asks "what if one of the Trojans survived")  As a lifelong fan of the comic book industry, which is officially published fanfiction with (slightly) better PR, I've always loved stories like that dive into those questions. </p><p>So, in that mold, I always wanted to play a bit of a trick on my readers-to do a sort of "canon-rewrite" fic, that wasn't really that at all. One of the most lovely and humanistic things about Three Houses is that each of the characters can *be* the hero-even Edelgard and Claude, who draw mainly from previous Fire Emblem villains like Arvis and Travant. The Silver Snow visions and stuff like Kronya's redemption arc are about allowing the characters to confront what I find so special about this game's message, and really is at the core of Edelgard's anti-Crest crusade in the first place: everyone deserves to be respected and loved, no matter who they are.</p><p>On a related note, Hanneman is an absolutely incredible character. I wanted to mirror his supports with Edelgard, where she admits to avoiding him for much of the academy phase, and then pull the rug out from her and everyone else reading this. This guy is such a rebel, he decides to work *directly under the archbishop's nose*, discretely using the Church's resources to undermine the system that allowed his sister to be sexually abused and discarded. Stan Hanneman, is what I'm saying.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. The Battle of Garreg Mach</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I always knew there was something about you I didn’t like.” Catherine placed her boot on Manuela’s throat. “Lady Rhea trusted you! And you threw it away for a traitor in a mask!”</p><p>Edelgard knew the situation was rapidly spinning out of control. She needed to unseat the Archbishop from Garreg Mach <em>tonight</em>. If the Church was able to receive support from the Kingdom and sympathetic Alliance nobles, the war would be over before it begun. She leapt at Shamir, desperate to buy her allies time to escape.</p><p>“Hubert! Get Professor Hanneman out of here, and get us some help!”</p><p>“Your Majesty, I must insist that I stay-“</p><p>Shamir dodged and weaved to avoid the Flame Emperor’s ax, countering with a dagger that flashed and gleamed from the speed of its movement. The girl turned and snarled at her retainer. “Now! That’s an order!” As Shamir’s knife gashed her cheek, she could see Hubert vanish in a flash of scarlet.</p><p>“Using yourself as a decoy and a shield. It’s more noble than I expected from you.” Shamir grunted with exertion. “Noble…but stupid.” She drove her leg into the Emperor’s stomach, causing Edelgard to collapse to her knees. The girl looked up, and an arrow was pointed at her face.</p><p>Kronya ran at the archer, but her attack was stopped by a shoulder charge from Catherine that sent the Agarthian tumbling into the wall. The knight turned to Shamir, voice unsteady with fury.<br/>
<br/>
“End this! Kill her right now!”</p><p>Shamir and Edelgard glared at each other for a moment that seemed to last an eternity. Her bow still trained on the Flame Emperor, the archer turned to Byleth. “I don’t have many friends, and I want to understand. Why risk it for the girl?”</p><p>Byleth lowered the Sword of the Creator, green eyes oddly calm. “Because she’s right. About Crests, and the power the Church has, and that something has to change.” Byleth raised her hands, pleading with her friend. “The Archbishop tried to kill me, all because I refused to execute a prisoner. You missed me on purpose in the Holy Tomb. You know this is wrong.”</p><p>Catherine could see the hesitation in Shamir’s eyes, and circled back toward her partner. “Don’t listen to them. Look at that filth…” She gestured to Kronya, trying to catch her breath against the wall. “Look at the girl, or her lapdog. Do they seem like good people to you? Lady Rhea saved us. We owe her our loyalty. We owe her our <em>lives</em>.” Manuela stirred, and Catherine aimed her sword at the woman’s forehead.</p><p>Edelgard lowered her head. Long ago, El had dreamed of being a princess renowned for her kindness and humanity, a person who brought joy to other’s lives. That dream had died in the dungeons of Enbarr, replaced by a woman who accepted countless sacrifices and compromises for the greater good. A ruler for whom there were only shades of grey. She despised the Church of Seiros, but the girl had hidden her gentleness behind a wall of iron. Edelgard was many things, but she knew that she was no hero.</p><p>“Shamir…” Byleth’s body tensed, and she pointed at Edelgard. “How many people are just like her? The Church has abandoned Edelgard. It’s told her that even the Goddess thinks she isn’t worth saving! That isn’t <em>right</em>!” She paused, and collected herself. “I’ve talked to the Goddess. She was my friend. I know that’s not true.” For a moment, Byleth’s eyes blazed with fervor. “Faith is a weapon, Shamir. Just like this sword, or your bow. It can protect, or it can hurt. And as soon as they told the world Sothis only protected good and beautiful people…someone like Edelgard was inevitable.”</p><p>Shamir’s eyes widened, taken aback by the intensity with which Byleth now spoke. Catherine lunged at the Ashen Demon, only for Byleth to deflect and parry the blow. She launched a beam of holy light at Catherine, before turning back to the Dagdan archer.</p><p>“Look at us. We’re both mercenaries. Is there any difference between what we were doing before and after we worked for Rhea?” There was familiar look on Byleth’s face, that for a moment, Edelgard could not place. Until she realized…it was self-loathing. “Just because I’m wearing these clothes,” the Enlightened One gestured to her ornate white outfit. “…It doesn’t change who I am inside.”</p><p>Shamir's eyes did not move, trained on Byleth.</p><p>“Shamir, I’m a killer…only now I’m supposed to kill in the Goddess’ name. If I say that Edelgard, or any of my students is beyond salvation, like the Church does…then there’s no hope for me either.”</p><p>Shamir lowered her bow. “Damn it.” She turned to her partner. “She’s making sense, Cath.”</p><p>“No, she’s not!” Catherine was clearly feeling her control of the situation loosen. “I won’t…Lady Rhea is why I wield this sword. I fight for her justice.” Her voice rose higher and higher in pitch and fervor. ”The Goddess’ will is absolute!”</p><p>For what seemed an eternity, Shamir looked at Catherine, face implacable. As the sounds of battle raged around them, the motionless figures simply waited, for some sign, some signal from the Dagdan archer. Shamir brushed a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her eye.</p><p>“I guess it’s a shame I don’t worship the Goddess then, partner.” She frowned, the most emotion Edelgard had ever seen on the Dagdan’s face. “Cath. Listen. Come with me. Byleth is a good person.“<br/>
<br/>
Catherine’s fierce countenance momentarily wavered. “You know I can’t do that.” She eyed her sword. “I’ve loved two people in my life besides Lady Rhea. I handed Christophe Lonato over for execution with my own hands. Please. Don’t make me kill you, Sham.”</p><p>Shamir sighed. “Just…remember what I told you. If our paths diverge-“</p><p>“…You’ll always be with me.” Catherine raised Thunderbrand, eyes empty. “I’ll make this quick. I promise.”</p><p>Catherine left Manuela on the ground, anger and loss outweighing any strategic plan. The knight deflected two arrows that Shamir fired at the Knight of Seiros. Catherine swung Thunderbrand with awe-inspiring power, but before the blade could bury itself in Shamir’s skull, the Sword of the Creator blocked its path. The greatest warrior of the Knights of Seiros grunted in anger.</p><p>“You’re outnumbered, Catherine.” Byleth’s voice was placid, as if she was explaining a lecture on the blackboard in her classroom. “Stand down, and I promise you will not be harmed.”</p><p>“You fools.” Catherine began to laugh. “Did you think Lady Rhea would send two people to take down the Emperor and the traitor? I just wanted the first crack at you.”</p><p>A burst of magical energy exploded at Edelgard’s feet, sending her flying through the air until she collided with the ancient stone of the monastery wall. Eyes hazy, she felt Kronya begin to help her to her feet. Edelgard pushed her away. “Get Professor Manuela to safety, while we still have the time!” As Kronya assisted an unsteady Manuela and began to flee, Edelgard turned and faced the source of the spell.</p><p>“Hello, Flayn.”</p><p>The girl waved her staff wildly. “How could you do these terrible things?! How could you attack my home? I waited so long for a family…and now, you’ve…you’ve taken her away!“ There was no trace of Flayn’s usual awkward speech, just raw, fierce emotion.</p><p>Edelgard’s eyes narrowed, and she raised her ax. “I didn’t take anyone. Professor Byleth made her choice.”</p><p>“I won’t let you win!” Flayn yelled. “I won’t let you take her, and I won’t let you take Fódlan!” She raised her staff, and a beam of holy light blasted a hole in the wall where Edelgard’s head had been a moment before.</p><p>Edelgard felt a burst of anger explode out of her. “And who am I taking Fódlan from?” she yelled. “It isn’t the Church’s birthright, and neither is Byleth!” Her ax strike missed its target, leaving a gaping chasm in the ancient stone.</p><p>Out of the corner of Edelgard’s eye, she could see Catherine unleash a vicious headbutt into her teacher’s face, sending the Ashen Demon stumbling backwards. Shamir tried to fire a shot, but Thunderbrand deflected the blow. The archer pulled out a dagger, which Catherine knocked away with a steel gauntlet. Catherine’s eyes were full of regret.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Shamir.”</p><p>Thunderbrand sparked with electricity, and the Flame Emperor knew she could not reach the Dagdan archer in time. Edelgard raised a hand desperately…</p><p>There was a flash of red, and the divine sword cut through black armor. The Death Knight did not even turn and stare at the blade that was now buried in his shoulder. With his free arm, he pulled the weapon out, and threw it back to Catherine.</p><p>“I welcome pain…” he muttered. “And a challenge.” He turned back to an astonished Shamir, and for a moment, that inhuman voice seemed to soften. He sounded like a different person. “Are you safe?” As Shamir nodded, the Death Knight’s crimson eyes gleamed. “Good. Now stand back. Further words are unnecessary.” He launched himself at his opponent, scythe swinging with reckless abandon.</p><p>Shamir raised her bow. “Oh, I couldn’t agree more.” She turned back to Byleth and Edelgard. “We’ve got this. Go.”</p><p>“But-“ Byleth paused, and swallowed. “Shamir. Thank you.”</p><p>For a moment, the hint of a smile crossed Shamir’s face. “Catherine wasn’t my only partner. I’ll see you soon. Now go!”</p><p>Edelgard and Byleth dodged a spell from Flayn, running through the ancient stone corridors toward the front gates. Two knights stood guard, their attention focused on the battle that raged outside. Edelgard was about to charge, when Byleth pulled her student back forcefully. The Ashen Demon pulled out a dagger, silently crept behind one of the guards, and quickly and efficiently slit his throat.</p><p>The second soldier turned, and before he had a chance to raise his weapon, Byleth threw her dagger through the man’s chest with superhuman strength. The mercenary’s hand gripped the lever to open the front gates. Her calloused palm rested on the ancient machinery, but she did not move.</p><p>“Edelgard.” Byleth’s eyes closed. “Before I open this gate. I need you to answer me a question, honestly.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor felt a sickening feeling developing in the pit of her stomach. “Of course, my teacher…but is this really the time-“</p><p>Byleth’s green eyes inflamed with passion. “The Death Knight. Why? Why are you using him? I watched him hurt so many of your classmates, and at Remire….” She swallowed. “He killed you.” The Ashen Demon shook her head. “I understand what this war means…but I need to know that you aren’t just going to take the easy way out. That you will fight with honor. You don’t need killers like the Death Knight or…or…” She looked down at her own blood-stained hands.</p><p>“Or you, my teacher?”</p><p>As Edelgard watched her teacher’s eyes grow distant, she felt a fresh wave of guilt. She had been so proud of her teacher’s support, but after a year of fleeing her past, and embracing a new life as a professor, Byleth was back to killing. It was yet another burden for which Edelgard must take responsibility</p><p>“Byleth…” Edelgard spoke her teacher's name, clear and strong. “Back when I was imprisoned, there was window at the top of my cell…just enough to provide the faintest hint of light.” She gripped her shoulder, trying to stop her arm from shaking. “Sometimes…I could see songbirds, flying outside the window. They were all I had, all I could cling to, when I was alone in the darkness. I envied their freedom. I prayed over and over for an escape, to be given the freedom those birds took for granted…”</p><p>Byleth tilted her head. “I’m sorry, Edelgard. I don’t understand.”</p><p>The girl smiled, hiding the pain of the Goddess’ rejection under her severe features. “You were what I prayed for, all those years ago. You are my wings.” As she spoke the words, the Emperor was gone, replaced by a sensitive girl who treasured Byleth Eisner like a flower needed the sun. “I used to know how…how to be good…but that girl is gone. You remind me. Your goodness lifts me up, every single day.”</p><p>“Edelgard…” Byleth’s face was filled with surprise and grief and pride all mixed together. “But…you’ve seen what I am. I’m the Ashen Demon. Just like the Death Knight, I’m a killer…”</p><p>“No. No you are not.” Edelgard shook her head firmly. “Before I met you, I had resolved to win at all costs, using broken men like Jeritza to fulfill my ambitions. I knew if I could not change this world, then it would be as if those I loved...never existed at all. If I could prevent even one more child from…from…this…” Edelgard looked at the white gloves hiding her scarred hands, lilac eyes filled with anguish.</p><p>“Edelgard…” Byleth bit her lip.</p><p>“I know what I am…” the girl choked out her long-repressed fear and anxiety, trying to ignore the old nightmares that flashed in front of her eyes. “When I die, my actions will damn me. I’ll never see my family again, in this life, or any other. Without you, there is no telling who or what I would become. When I see your kindness, your selflessness…your mercy to people like me who do not deserve it…” Edelgard failed to meet her teacher’s eyes. “I don’t need the Ashen Demon or the Enlightened One..I need <strong>you</strong>, Byleth Eisner.”</p><p>All Edelgard could think was that she never wanted to go another day without seeing that face. The small creases that had formed at the side of her teacher’s lips as she smiled, or the messy hair that fell down her back in waves. She never wanted to go without that soft, raspy voice, more beautiful to Edelgard’s ears than the choirs of Garreg Mach. She wanted to tell her this, each and every day. And somehow, a small piece of Edelgard was beginning to hope that she would have all the time in the world to say it.</p><p>“Edelgard.” Byleth gripped her student’s hand tightly. “I need you to make <em>me </em>a promise. Just like you did your siblings.” She spoke so calmly, so firmly, that it felt as if Edelgard was facing divine judgement. “At the end of this war…when the battles are finished. Promise me that the Edelgard I love will still be in here.” A hand reached out, and rested on El’s icy heart. “I’ve already lost Papa and Sothis. If you win this war but lose yourself…none of it will be worth it.”</p><p>Edelgard was rendered speechless, realizing again that this woman had chosen <em>her</em>. That someone so beautiful and kind had reached out and seen something the Flame Emperor herself could not. The Enlightened One loved <em>Edelgard.</em> It gave the girl the strength to voice the fear that had haunted her so many sleepless nights-the gnawing, aching dread that cut to the core of Edelgard’s being.</p><p>“Byleth, when you…talked to the Goddess…did…” The girl began to blink furiously. “Did she ever mention me?” She stared up at her teacher, a question that carried all the weight of El’s fragile heart. “Do you know why she left me…alone?”</p><p>The question hung in the air, before Byleth shook her head slowly. “Sothis wasn’t…<em>isn’t</em>…what the Church tells you. She was kind and honest, and always tried to hide how much She cared for me, and everyone else. You’re a lot alike.” The Enlightened One gave Edelgard a bittersweet smile. “I think that’s why Sothis was always worrying about you.”</p><p>Deep under the Flame Emperor’s crown and scars, a little girl with brown hair felt her legs begin to tremble, and her breathing quicken. Long ago, El had loved her friend the Goddess with the purity and innocence of a child, and that loss had created a bottomless void in Edelgard’s soul. It was impossible. The Goddess was worried…about <em>her? </em>Her lilac eyes started to water, as she silently stared at Byleth. Since El had died, she had known what she was-a hideous weapon forged in blood, an unholy flame built only to destroy. How could the Goddess care about that?</p><p>“There are two people who have always told me I was human, and that I deserved to choose my own path.” Byleth grinned. “Sothis…and you.” The Ashen Demon placed a hand on her student’s shoulder. “I’ve been waiting until you asked, because I know this has been so hard for you. After tonight, I’ll tell you everything I know about Sothis. You deserve that.” She grinned sheepishly. “It’s a long story.”</p><p>Edelgard could only nod. As Byleth watched her awestricken student’s face, she smiled, and pulled the lever to open the front gates to Garreg Mach. The ancient doors swung open, and the forces of the Empire began to swarm the entrance, an ocean of red overwhelming the Knights of Seiros.</p><p>Byleth Eisner smiled. “Our friends are waiting for us. Let’s go.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Byleth and Edelgard rendezvoused with the rest of the Black Eagles Strike Force, they found a shaken but resolved group. The Flame Emperor silently felt an immense sense of relief that none of her friends had been hurt. Sylvain stepped forward, hoisting his lance casually over his shoulder. “It’s done. We fought through, and Alois has retreated.” He looked up to the sky, peering for a hint of blond hair in the distance. “Ingrid’s still battling Seteth up there, though.”<br/>
<br/>
Edelgard hid her fears by straightening her posture, and lowering her voice to a short, even clip. “She’ll be fine. There is no one I’d trust more.” She turned to the steps which led toward Rhea’s fortified position, and addressed the rest of her classmates. “We’ve broken through the first line of defense, and they may grow desperate enough to use the students. I hope everyone is prepared.”<br/>
<br/>
Dorothea let out a soft hum of distress, but the rest of the Eagles did not respond. Edelgard had kept her distance, but many of the Black Eagles had formed close bonds with students from other houses. Ferdinand and Lorenz, Felix and Sylvain, Marianne and Hilda…they could all meet on the battlefield. All because of Edelgard.</p><p>The Eagles marched forward, Petra in front, her keen eyes peering around corridors for signs of an ambush. Bernadetta and Kronya stood on the back line, bow and dagger ready for any potential attack. Each Eagle’s face was filled with tension and fear. Edelgard desperately hoped to avoid combat, to avoid striking down the people she had shared feasts with not a month before, and yet she wished for something, anything, to break the pressure that now simmered under her skin.</p><p>And then, they heard it.</p><p>“EDELGARD!”</p><p>It was less a scream, and more a bellow of bestial rage. The Eagles turned to their left and right, and on the platforms that overlooked the massive stone steps, the Blue Lions and Golden Deer stood, weapons trained on the Black Eagles. Dimitri, the future King of Faerghus, was pointing at Edelgard, arm shaking with hysteria.</p><p>Ashe raised his bow, ready to fire a projectile at the Flame Emperor, but the leader of the Blue Lions pushed the bow toward the ground. “Let them come! I need to kill her myself…I need to feel her die by my own hands!” He turned to Claude, and the rest of the Deer, voice echoing across the brick and stone. “Do not attack…this prey is <strong>mine</strong>!”</p><p>The look in Dimitri’s eyes-of rage and betrayal and a thousand other emotions that were beyond Edelgard’s ability to place-filled the girl’s heart with dread. Her head began to throb, as old misplaced memories began to flash in her mind. All throughout her time at Garreg Mach, his strange obsession had troubled the Emperor. Now, each and every one of her fears were justified by the malice and madness with which he swung his lance.</p><p>Claude twirled an arrow between his fingers, full of what Edelgard recognized as nervous energy. “I don’t think that’s your call to make, Dimitri.” He raised his weapon, eyes sighted on Edelgard’s head. “She’s messed up a lot of things tonight, and you’re not the only person who’s-“</p><p>“Ashe, Annette.” Dimitri’s voice was filled with all the authority and power of the Crown of Faerghus. “Fire on the Golden Deer if they attack the Black Eagles.” The two students looked at each other with horror, and that moment of hesitation set Dimitri’s anger alight again. “THAT’S AN ORDER!”</p><p>Felix pushed past Dedue, and stood between the prince and a trembling Annette and Ashe. “Knock it off, Boar. They’re on <em>our </em>side.” He shot an angry, mournful glare at Sylvain.</p><p>“Golden Deer.” Claude’s voice went ice-cold. “Prepare to defend yourselves…” And then, abruptly, his manner adopted that diplomatic, honeyed tone that Edelgard knew oh so well. “Now, Dimitri…I know I don’t look it, but you wouldn’t want to attack the future leader of the Leicester Alliance, would you? There’s no telling what allies I’ve managed to pick up in my travels…“</p><p>“Everyone…just let us through.” Byleth raised the Sword of the Creator. “None of you can stop me, and I don’t want to hurt any of you.”</p><p>“If you all stand down.” Edelgard extended her arm, trying to regain control of the conversation. “I promise that no harm shall befall you. Our target is the Archbishop alone. Many of you have suffered greatly at the hands of-“</p><p>With terrifying speed, Dimitri grasped his spear, and launched it at the Flame Emperor. The weapon shot through the air, but before it could reach the leader of the Black Eagles, the steel weapon disintegrated. Lysithea’s arm was outstretched, and her pink eyes blazed with fire.</p><p>“I won’t let you touch her, Dimitri.”</p><p>Felix moved between the prince and the Black Eagles, his sword drawn. Dimitri watched Felix, the prince's shoulders heaving from exertion, before he turned to Sylvain. For a moment, the anger vanished. “Please, my friend. Come home now. I’ve spoken to your father and Count Galatea, and we have found a way for you and Ingrid to publicly repent and regain your standing…”</p><p>Sylvain began to laugh, an immense coldness and anger hidden under his usual smirk. “Oh, I’m sure my dad had tons of ideas…I’ve never meant a damn thing to him, Dimitri! All his plans and schemes, just to prove that I’m worthy to hold a stupid lance!” He turned to Edelgard. “She’s trying to make things better! So that kids like you or me aren’t used as soldiers to keep peace-“<br/>
<br/>
“<strong>Quiet</strong>! I understand now. You…you were part of it, too, weren’t you?” Dimitri’s eyes went frighteningly cold, before he gripped the sides of his head. “I…never imagined. What did they promise you, Sylvain? What did they promise Ingrid? My family…murdered and betrayed by two of my oldest friends, and <em>her</em>…” He pointed at the assembled Black Eagle Strike Force below him. “Kill them all!” he snarled. “But leave the traitor and the Emperor alive…I must punish them for Duscur myself!”</p><p>Without thinking, Edelgard placed a hand on Sylvain’s back, and the Faerghus noble turned and met the girl’s face with a smile that hid so much turmoil underneath. He nodded. “Let’s do this, beautiful.”</p><p>Edelgard raised her ax. “Black Eagle Strike Force…Charge!”</p><p>The battlefield erupted into chaos, the students of Garreg Mach went to war with one another. Spells exploded against one another, sending glimmering sparks of magical energy into the surrounding air. Steel weapons clashed against each other with terrifying force, as the play-battle of Gronder was replaced by brutal, primitive combat.</p><p>As Edelgard pushed through, attempting to find safe passage toward Rhea’s position, a few facts soon became clear. Byleth’s mercenary training had well prepared the Eagles for the squalid realties of warfare. The other houses lacked the preciseness that had been drilled into the Eagles from months of combat. And many were not ready to fight against their fellow students. But not all.</p><p>As Edelgard pushed past Lorenz, who was engaged in a verbal and physical duel with Ferdinand, she sensed movement in her peripheral vision. With a warrior’s reflexes, she rolled out of the way, only to see an arrow narrowly miss her head.</p><p>“They told me what you did.” There was no trace of the gentleness and kindness that usually marked Ashe’s face. He sneered at the Flame Emperor with complete loathing. “You used Lonato! You sent him to die!”</p><p>A flurry of thoughts flashed through Edelgard’s mind. It was by her suggestion that Ashe had been replaced by Ingrid for the mission to kill Lord Lonato…at the time, she had thought it a kindness…but what if she had not? Would Ashe have stood by her side? Would she now be raising an ax against Ingrid instead? The girl felt a deep ache in her heart at the thought, as the consequences of her actions consumed her.</p><p>“Ashe…” Edelgard lowered her ax. “Lonato choose to fight with me. Not from coercion or bribery, but out of the strength of his ideals. He believed in a world where humanity decided its own destiny. Where children like you are not thrown away because they lack a Crest.” She reached out an arm. “Stand with me, and we will honor his memory together.”</p><p>Ashe returned an arrow to his quiver, resolve momentarily faltering. “I…” The boy turned back to his Dimitri, who was wildly swinging a lance at Petra. His face hardened. “He’s dead. Because of you. I don’t know how you managed to trick Ingrid and Sylvain, or Professor Byleth…but it’s not going to work on me.” He raised his weapon, and launched a flurry of arrows at the Flame Emperor.</p><p>Edelgard knew that the boy was a combatant and a future enemy. Before…even in the Holy Tomb, the Flame Emperor would have eliminated the threat. There was no way that Adrestia and Faerghus would not soon be locked in war, and Ashe would certainly fight against the Empire. But today was not that day, and Edelgard did not want to be the Flame Emperor any longer. Not when her teacher had shown such unfailing belief in Edelgard’s goodness.</p><p>Edelgard rolled out of the way, Ashe’s aim sloppy from the frenzied emotion that now consumed him. The girl closed the gap in an instant, and drove the hilt of her ax into the boy’s stomach, sending him crumpling to earth in a heap. The Emperor’s mercy only seemed to inflame Ashe more. He tried to catch his breath, only able to scowl up at Edelgard.</p><p>Edelgard stared into the boy’s grey eyes. “I’m sorry, Ashe. Lord Lonato was a good man. He would be proud of you.” It was yet another example of why she needed Byleth. Her teacher’s words had reached Shamir…but Edelgard’s appeals had failed. A person like her could not inspire and lead…not like Byleth could. As she left Ashe prone on the ground, she tried to pretend that the venomous expression on the boy’s face did not bother her.</p><p>She quickly appraised the battle. Many of the Eagles were making short work of their opponents. Caspar and Linhardt were driving Ignatz and Raphael back, while Hubert was slowly overwhelming Annette. But Dimitri and Felix were a problem. The swordsman was battling Sylvain, Petra and Dorothea simultaneously, his sword deflecting attacks with incredible speed.</p><p>Meanwhile, the Prince of Faerghus was embodying the nickname that Felix had bestowed on him. Two arrows from Bernadetta lodged in his shoulder, but the boy did not even flinch. He and Dedue battled Byleth, the mercenary easily avoiding their telegraphed strikes. But all it would take was one stray blow to find its mark, and the prince’s superhuman strength would turn the woman’s bones to dust.</p><p>“She <strong>murdered</strong> my family, Professor! She plotted against me for years…all for power! How can you stand by such a monster?” Dimitri’s voice was an animalistic shriek, as he buried his spear into the ground, barely missing Byleth’s leg. The Ashen Demon stumbled and fell. “I have to punish her…my family cannot rest until I do!”</p><p>Filled with concern for her teacher, Edelgard took advantage of his distraction, and flung a handax into the tendon of Dimitri’s foot. The boy crumpled to his knee, allowing Byleth to blast Dedue back with a burst of light magic. The Ashen Demon looked at Dimitri’s sweat-covered face, full of pity. “Dimitri, Edelgard didn’t kill your family…this doesn’t have anything to do with you-“</p><p>“DON’T LIE TO ME! IT HAD TO BE HER!” The prince tried to push off his leg, before ripping the ax out in frustration. He turned to the leader of the Black Eagles, head twitching. Just like Edelgard, a mask had come off. Spittle flew everywhere, as his voice lowered to an growl. “After everything we’ve been through, Edelgard, I promise you…someday soon, I’ll rip your head from your body…and hang it from the GATES OF ENBARR!”</p><p>Edelgard glared at him, filled with disgust. Accusing her of complicity with the Tragedy of Duscur was ridiculous. At the time, she was a child, endlessly tortured in the dungeons of Enbarr. She had no time for this pathetic, sad obsession. If this delusional idea of revenge was why he had followed her all year… She felt some of her old cruelty and coldness returning.<br/>
<br/>
“No, you won’t. Just like in our previous contests and battles, you are utterly outmatched. Goodbye, Dimitri.”</p><p>The prince spat at her feet. “Go to hell.”</p><p>As Edelgard helped Byleth up, and moved toward the stone steps that led to Rhea, she tried to ignore the rhythmic pounding in her head, and the odd sense of despair welling in her heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Where Dimitri had managed to create chaos through brute strength alone, Claude had used the most dangerous weapon he possessed…his mind. In the anarchy of combat, the young archer had quietly found a position at the base of the steps. Now flanked by Hilda and Leonie, he nocked an arrow with his usual dexterity.</p><p>Leonie saw Byleth and raised her bow, only for the Riegan heir to place his hand up to block any attacks.</p><p>“Hold on, Leonie. I want to talk to our friends here.”</p><p>Leonie blanched. “They’re attacking the monastery! They’re working with the people killed Jeralt!” She pointed to Kronya, who was locked in battle with Mercedes. She glared at Byleth for a moment, before she turned back to Claude. “They’ve already declared war on us, and if you won’t do anything-“</p><p>“Actually…” Claude shrugged his shoulders. “They haven’t officially declared war on the Alliance. Just the Church of Seiros…isn’t that right, ladies?”</p><p>Not willing to play Claude’s games, and unable to read his actions, Edelgard kept her face stony. Pleased with her resolve, she turned, only to see Byleth nodding in agreement. The Flame Emperor let out a sigh.</p><p>“I can always count on you for honesty, Teach…any chance you’ve had any last minute changes of heart?” Claude gave Byleth a winning smile. “I may not be quite as powerful as Edelgard, but with my schemes and that sword…” He glanced at the Sword of the Creator with a longing expression. “…We’d be unstoppable.”</p><p>Byleth shook her head.  Edelgard could not remember her teacher showing such visible frustration. “I don’t need another person using me for power, or to help satisfy their own dreams. Edelgard believes in me. We support each other.”</p><p>Claude turned to the Adrestian Emperor and let out a hearty chuckle. “You really gave her quite the pitch, didn’t you? Are you this affectionate to all your friends and allies, or just the ones gifted immeasurable power from the gods?”</p><p>As Claude’s words burrowed under her skin, Edelgard felt her control begin to slip. She was about to raise her ax, when a voice rang out behind her shoulder. “Claude…she’s…she’s not like that.” The Flame Emperor turned, and Marianne and Lysithea stood behind her.</p><p>Lysithea smiled at Edelgard for a moment, filled with satisfaction. “None of the mages back there can stand up to my talents, so as soon as I saw you two talking with this fool…” she glared at Claude with a mix of exasperation and fondness. “Marianne and I hurried over.”</p><p>Hilda stepped forward, pleading with Marianne. “Mari…please come home. We…we can figure this out! Did Ferdinand force you to-“</p><p>“No.” Marianne’s voice did not falter. “I’m here because I believe in what Edelgard is doing. I want to see the world she wants to build.” The girl smiled at Edelgard, filling the Flame Emperor’s heart with an unexpected warmth.  “Edelgard is a good person. She’s only doing this to stop more people from being victims. I know I’m not special…but I want to do what little I can to help her.”</p><p>Hilda’s mouth hung open, and Leonie appeared outraged, but Claude simply put a hand to his chin. “That’s…rather inspiring, Marianne.” He turned to Lysithea. “I take it you feel similarly, kid?”</p><p>Lysithea nodded. “You’ve done more than enough snooping around Marianne and me. You know full well why we both support her.”</p><p>Claude gave a shrug. “Guilty as charged.” He paused, a small glimmer of honesty and vulnerability peeking out from behind his flippant mask. “You promise you’ll take care of Marianne, and make sure the kid gets to bed on time? I’m fairly fond of them, after all.” He grinned as Lysithea glowered at him, eyes never leaving Edelgard.</p><p>The Flame Emperor nodded. “They are my valued friends and allies. That they have chosen to stand alongside me is one of the greatest honors of my life. They have the Empire’s full protection.” She could hear Marianne and Lysithea move behind her, but she kept her attention on Claude.</p><p>He peered at Edelgard and Byleth for a moment, seemingly evaluating every movement.  Behind him, Hilda and Leonie stood, completely perplexed. Edelgard realized, to her annoyance, that she was holding her breath. Finally, the future Duke Riegan moved to the side, and gave the Ashen Demon and the Flame Emperor a deep, mocking bow.</p><p>“Then if you want to have words with the Archbishop…go for it.”</p><p>Hilda stepped forward, pink eyes filled with distress. “Claude! What are you doing! You can’t seriously-“</p><p>Claude appeared wounded by the betrayal in Hilda’s voice, but he quickly reestablished control. “Oh, this is nothing more than an official declaration of the Alliance’s neutrality.” Claude’s face lit up with a grin, as he raised his voice so the whole group could hear. “You see, my ever-so-lazy companion…if Edelgard loses tonight, the Church of Seiros will waste no time in launching a retaliatory strike on the Empire.”</p><p>“Good,” muttered Leonie, the young protégé of Captain Jeralt still scowling at Byleth.</p><p>“Not good.” Claude shook his head. “The Church of Seiros will demand our support, and I think even Princess…” he grinned. “…Excuse me, <em>Emperor</em> Edelgard would agree that the Empire can’t take on us all together. It’s why she launched a sneak attack, after all.”</p><p>Edelgard remained silent, trying to steady her breathing.</p><p>“Now, I’ll admit that Edelgard’s plans have put an outsider like me in an…awkward place, but I don’t particularly like the idea of the <em>oh-so-stable</em> Archbishop and Dimitri getting to consolidate their alliance by raiding the Empire …you’re not the only one with dreams, after all.” There was an ambitious gleam in the archer’s eyes. “See, even if Edelgard wins tonight, she’s going to have all of Faerghus coming for her. And really…” his stare tunneled into Edelgard. “…who’s to say when and how the Alliance will join the battle? Maybe it’ll be when you least expect it?”</p><p>There was silence, as each member tried to absorb the veiled threat that Claude had just unleashed. Hilda loyally followed Claude’s orders, and moved to his side. Byleth turned to Edelgard, face uncertain, before the Emperor gave her a reassuring nod.</p><p>“It’s fine, my teacher. We’ll settle our business with Claude another time.”</p><p>Byleth and Edelgard moved up the stairs, but Leonie stood in the way, face impassive. She stared up at Byleth, eyes full of rage. “Captain Jeralt was everything to me. I wouldn’t be at Garreg Mach if your father hadn’t believed in me.” Byleth lowered her head, emotions wounded, before Leonie finally moved out of the way. “I hope spitting on his memory for this monster is worth it to you.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor and the Enlightened One slowly marched to the top of the stone steps, where a figure in ancient white ceremonial robes was waiting. Behind her, a legion of Church soldiers stood, their weapons drawn.</p><p>“You.” Rhea glared at Byleth, her green eyes peering straight through the Ashen Demon. “How dare you wear the robes of the Church, traitor! I took you in! I offered you a home!”</p><p>“Rhea…” The Ashen Demon raised the Sword of the Creator, full of resolve. “Why did you have me sit on the throne? What were you trying to do to me?”</p><p>Taken aback, the Archbishop stared at the floor, muttering to herself. “Just another failure. Just another worthless piece of garbage…I’ll fix it, Mother, you’ll see.” She pointed at the Ashen Demon with the Sword of Seiros, all sanity lost. “Give Her back!”</p><p>She turned behind her, where Gilbert stood clutching his shield and ax, body and armor both bearing the scars of battle. “Are the weapons prepared?”</p><p>Gilbert nodded. “Our aerial troops and ground forces have sustained heavy losses, but they have bought us enough time.” He scowled at Byleth with a zealot's fury. “They have turned their blades on the Church and the Kingdom. They must not be allowed to continue living.”</p><p>“Thank you, Gilbert.” Rhea turned to the boy at her side. “Cyril. You may retreat. I do not wish for you to see-“<br/>
<br/>
“No.” The boy’s voice was filled with devotion. “Your enemies are my enemies, Lady Rhea. You saved me.” For a brief instant, his eyes fell on Lysithea, before he raised his bow to the young mage. “I..I gotta kill you, no matter who you are. Even if you taught me how to read, and if your smile is-” He shook his head.</p><p>Lysithea raised a hand, face full of distress. “Please don’t do this, Cyril. You’re not like-“ Cyril’s arrow flew toward her, and Byleth tackled the young mage to the floor. Something shattered in her pink eyes, and for a moment, she turned away.</p><p>Seeing the pain that Lysithea was now enduring caused the Flame Emperor to charge at Rhea, steel ax swinging wildly. The Archbishop dodged and weaved with practiced ease, showing a grace and finesse that belied the agitation that had consumed her seconds before. The Sword of Seiros struck Edelgard with glancing blows to her wrist and thigh, covering old scars with new wounds.</p><p>“Sending children to fight your battles, Archbishop?” The girl ignored the pain, wielding her ax with a righteous fury. “You’ve taken advantage of people’s faith long enough!” She tried to drive her weight into the Archbishop, only for Rhea to grab the Flame Emperor’s shoulder and throw her into the ground.</p><p>“I don’t care about your reasons. I only know that you have to die.” Rhea stepped on Edelgard’s shoulder. “And besides…what would you know of faith, heretic? Attacking the followers of Sothis? Making an enemy of the Goddess Herself? You know how grave a sin you have committed…” She raised her sword. “For a wretch like you, there is no salvation. Die.”</p><p>The Immaculate One’s words cut deep to Edelgard’s core. She knew she was a sinner. She knew she was damned. She was attacking the Church of Seiros, the heart of Fódlan's civilization…the heretic clothed in black and red. A destructive fire, a creature of hideous and terrible strength.</p><p>
  <em>“I think that’s why Sothis was always worried about you…”</em>
</p><p>As Byleth’s words flashed through Edelgard’s mind, she felt a new resolve build within her. The Goddess cared about her. Edelgard <em>wasn’t</em> beyond salvation. It felt like breaking through the surface of the ocean, like El could finally breathe for the first time in years. She glared up at the Archbishop. “No.” She swung her ax, and used the hilt to knock Rhea off-balance. As she stumbled to her feet, she glared at the Immaculate One.</p><p>“I have only made an enemy of the Church. Not of the faith.”</p><p>Rhea’s face contorted with inhuman fury. “How <strong>dare</strong> you! How dare you dishonor the Goddess!” She turned to her troops. “Release the defenses! Now!”</p><p>The ground began to shake, and from deep inside Garreg Mach, two towering mechanical giants erupted from the ground, showering the area in rubble. Edelgard looked up at the towering mechanical golems, who began to fire massive bursts of magic upon the gathering Imperial forces.</p><p>“It’s light magic.” Edelgard heard Lysithea’s voice next to her, the young girl explaining as if the carnage she was witnessing was a particularly challenging problem. “They’re likely using Crest stones to artificially mimic-“ She trailed off and sighed. “Edelgard. I need you to protect me for a moment.”</p><p>“Always.”</p><p>The mage stepped forward, toward one of the two towering mechanical figures. The young Ordelia heir looked even smaller and more fragile next to the towering mechanism. The automaton was firing at Byleth, who dodged and spun out of the way with all the grace and intensity that Edelgard loved so dearly. Lysithea closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and turned to Edelgard.</p><p>“I can take out one. After that, you’re on your own.”</p><p>The girl began to float in the air, a dark purple aura enveloping her. It drew the attention of Gilbert, who trudged toward the mage in his massive steel armor.</p><p>“You would use dark magic against the Goddess? I will not let you defile this holy place, witch!” He readied to swing his ax, only for Edelgard to meet him. The Flame Emperor’s face contorted with disgust.</p><p>“Don’t speak to Lysithea that way!” She used her greater maneuverability to strike blow after blow to Gilbert’s armor, but whether out of strength or devotion, the knight still stood. “She has more strength than you will ever know!” She buried her ax in the man’s shoulder, but he did not flinch.</p><p>“Pain…is all I deserve.” Ax still resting in his shoulder, he drove his shield into Edelgard’s face, stunning her for a moment, before a blow from his ax sent her stumbling backwards. “I am simply an instrument of the Goddess’ will, and I must stop you!”</p><p>Vision blurred, Edelgard could only hear the man’s armor approaching closer and closer, until Lysithea’s voice cut through the Flame Emperor’s mental fog. “Edelgard, DUCK!”</p><p>Instinctively, the Flame Emperor dropped to the ground. Edelgard could feel her skin burn from the searing heat, as a sea of purple passed overhead. When it finally dissipated, and her vision cleared, all she could see was an immense wave of devastation.</p><p>Gilbert and many of the Church’s soldiers had been blown to the side, and one side of Gilbert’s face was marred with massive burns. Much of the architecture had that had stood in the path of Lysithea’s Hades Ω spell had collapsed, and the top half of the mechanical golem was just…gone. But Edelgard found herself unable to care.</p><p>Edelgard had told herself that she would accept any cost for the new dawn of Fódlan-no sacrifice was too great. As she turned around, and saw her friend, a girl she loved like family, falling to her knees in exhaustion and pain, Edelgard realized how much she had changed. She couldn’t lose her. Edelgard ran and pulled Lysithea upright, and the young mage smiled at Edelgard weakly.</p><p>“I told you..I’d take care of one…” She began to cough, blood covering the ancient stone. Edelgard stared at the crimson now coating her white gloves, filled with horror, before she found herself hugging Lysithea tightly. Her hands began to run through the young girl’s white hair.</p><p>“Don’t do that again,” whispered the Flame Emperor. “Never, ever again… you understand?”</p><p>Edelgard felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned, to see Linhardt leaning down. His eyes were wide, and filled with concern and kindness. His hand began to glow, before he extended a healing light over the young mage. Lysithea began to speak, but Linhardt shook his head.</p><p>“I insist that you remain silent while you heal..” He turned to Edelgard and smiled. “I made a promise to our glorious, annoying leader, and…I won’t run away from it.”</p><p>Lysithea closed her eyes. “Is that the only reason you’re here? A promise to Edelgard?”</p><p>The young noble shook his head, and a hint of crimson appeared on his pale cheeks. “That’s…not the only reason.” He turned to Edelgard. “Go.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded, and turned back to the scene of battle, sprinting to aid her teacher in combat against the remaining mechanical golem and the Archbishop. Byleth had battered the weapon with strike after strike from the Sword of the Creator, but it still refused to fall. As Byleth dodged another beam of light, the brightness stunned her long enough for Rhea’s sword to gash Byleth’s thigh.</p><p>The wound staggered Byleth for a moment, dropping her to her knee, and behind the Archbishop, the ancient machine hummed as it prepared to blast the Enlightened One with magical energy.</p><p>“It is over!” screamed the Archbishop, frothing with rage. “I won’t let you take it away. Not Garreg Mach, and not my mother!” Edelgard charged into the Archbishop, sending her flying with a vicious blow from her steel ax, but it was too late. Exhausted, Byleth tried to stagger out of the way, but there was no way for her to avoid the blast.</p><p>The Lance of Ruin flew through the air, bursting through the center of the metal giant. Sylvain dove in front of Byleth, shielding her from the brunt of the damage, black armor singed by the force of the explosion. Edelgard ran to Sylvain, as Byleth slowly rose to her feet.</p><p>The Gautier heir smiled, before wincing from the pain. “You okay, Prof?” he gasped. “Consider…consider this my apology for threatening you the other day, and always being jealous of your Crest...” He laughed. “Remember your first lesson, and how you told us not to lose our weapon?” He looked at the Lance of Ruin, still buried in the now motionless giant. “I never was your best student, was I?”</p><p>Byleth smiled, and her face softened. “No apologies are necessary, Sylvain.” She turned to Edelgard. “Help me get him to Marianne, she’ll-“</p><p>The roar and hum of machinery whirled back to life, and the three fighters turned, to see that the golem had reactivated. Even as noxious black smoke poured out of the ancient mechanism, it readied itself for another burst of energy. Edelgard desperately ran toward the mechanism, trying to draw its fire away from Sylvain and Byleth, when she heard the familiar flapping of pegasus wings.</p><p>Ingrid leapt from her steed, and drove Lúin through the head of the golem. As gravity pulled her and her spear downward, she held tightly to her lance, and grabbed the Lance of Ruin with her other hand, tearing the machine apart. As she landed, and the ancient mechanism finally and mercifully stopped working, she dropped her birthright, and ran to Sylvain.</p><p>“What are you <em>doing, </em>you…you…<em>idiot!</em>” Her detached face lit up with concern. “How <strong>dare</strong> you get yourself injured while I wasn’t here to protect-“ She began to shake. “I can’t…you’re all I have left.” Sylvain and Ingrid’s eyes met for a moment, before the pegasus knight’s sternness returned. She reached out a hand to Sylvain. “Come on, then. Off the ground.”</p><p>Sylvain began to protest with a grin. “Hey, easy, will you? Professor Byleth and Edelgard will tell you, I’m a hero.” He shook his head. “You’d be gentle if you were helping Dorothea or Edelgard, right?”</p><p>“Dorothea and Edelgard are my closest friends,” said Ingrid, a quiet grin hidden under a mask of utter seriousness. “You’re my responsibility.” She carried Sylvain toward the backlines, briefly returning the Emperor’s gentle smile. “I’ll be back in a moment, you two. Stay safe.”</p><p>Edelgard and Byleth walked toward a panting, apoplectic Rhea, the Flame Emperor supporting the Ashen Demon’s weight with her shoulder. Edelgard raised her ax. “It’s finished, Rhea. Your army is routed, and even as we speak, the Empire’s forces are overwhelming the Knights of Seiros. Surrender.”<br/>
<br/>
“I…will never surrender…to the likes of YOU!” Rhea’s pupils began to dilate, and she lunged at Byleth, hands gnarled into talons. Taken aback, the ferocity of the strike sent Rhea and Byleth tumbling to the ground. Rhea tore and scratched and Byleth’s chest with a violent intensity, and it took all of the Ashen Demon’s strength to push her away.</p><p>Edelgard steeled herself to deliver a finishing blow to the Archbishop, and end the battle and the Church of Serios in a single blow. For a moment, the familiar desperation and loss and hurt in Rhea’s eyes caused even the Flame Emperor to hesitate, but finally, she raised her steel ax toward the sky.</p><p>With a sickening sound, Edelgard felt a javelin burst through her shoulder, causing her to drop her ax to the ground. The pain and fire that surged through her body was like nothing she had ever experienced, and she could only collapse to her knees. Desperately trying not to vomit, she turned, and saw him.</p><p>Dimitri had slowly crawled up the stone steps of Garreg Mach, on his hands and knees. His face was coated with perspiration and warped beyond recognition with rage. As his bloodshot eyes met Edelgard’s, his face twisted into a sadistic, appalling grin.</p><p>Edelgard tried to move, but each attempt to stand only sent her staggering back to earth, weak from the loss of blood. Rhea had turned at the sound, and seeing her rival incapacitated, sensed an opportunity. In an instant, the Archbishop had disappeared, and an immense and monstrous creature stood in her place. The beast’s mouth glowed, and before Edelgard could move, she was blasted by the full force of the Immaculate One, as every part of her body was set aflame. Everything hurt, and then nothing hurt, and then it all went white…</p><p>
  <em>As the world turned a familiar grey. Edelgard looked around. She was somewhere new. It was little cottage, surrounded by more wildflowers than Edelgard had seen in her entire life. The smell tickled Edelgard's nose, and brought back memories of long-forgotten walks in the gardens of Enbarr. There was a little teatable outside the humble stone building, with a sketchbook laying open, pages blowing back and forth in the gentle breeze. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looked down at herself. She was older. How much it was hard to say. Her hair was tied in a side ponytail, falling gently on her shoulders, and she was tastefully dressed in long, flowing red skirt and a simple white blouse, her scarred, mutilated arms exposed to the cool, open air. There was no trace of any Imperial insignia or that blasted crown.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard had never seen this place before, yet she dreamed of it for so many days. It was a place free of the weight of the throne, without blood or misery or death. It was a place where she did not have to be a Hresvelg, or an Emperor…she could just be Edelgard. Her heart began to beat rapidly. Had she died? Was this the afterlife?</em><br/>
<br/>
<em>She walked into the building, legs moving without purpose or direction, slowly opening a door that was both strange and so familiar. The little cottage was decorated with sketches, and books, and the smell of fish. Edelgard’s eyes fell upon a note, resting on the table.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Little Flower, </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>We’ll be back from Ingrid and Sylvain’s soon. Our little troublemaker loves sparring with Aunt Ingrid so much, I think she’s going to ask us to move to Faerghus someday. Sylvain’s already planning the next big get together for all of us at Garreg Mach, and they send all their love. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>I think everyone still can’t believe that we all made it. That we battled and fought, and found our peace.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Each day, I feel the fog clearing from my eyes. Every moment, I’m becoming more and more who I truly am. And that’s because of you, my heart. The birds and the flowers and the feeling of the sun…they weren’t real before I met you. I’ll never be able to repay it…but thank you for saving me, and seeing something that no one else did. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms soon.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>B.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard placed a hand to her mouth. This was the future. They had made it. They had <strong>won</strong>. She could feel this incredible dream begin to fall away, but Edelgard tried to hold onto it desperately, grasping for a happiness she had never believed she would see.</em>
</p><p>The smell of fire and blood brought Edelgard back to the world, as the pain of the lance in her shoulder returned. She stared up at the Immaculate One’s immense maw, readying herself to undergo that awful agony once again.</p><p>Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Byleth stagger forward, leg trailing behind her uselessly. She could barely stand, but there was an unshakable determination and resolve in the Ashen Demon’s eyes, and much too late, Edelgard realized what her teacher was about to do.</p><p>With a final burst, she pushed Edelgard out of the way, and fell to the ground, utterly exhausted.  Edelgard tried to stand, but with all the blood she had lost, she tumbled to earth, desperately reaching a gloved hand for her teacher, and friend, and the love of her life.</p><p>“Edelgard,” whispered Byleth, as the Immaculate One roared. “Keep them safe for me.”</p><p>“NO!” Edelgard felt her world begin to crumble. She had seen the future! They were going to make it! She had a <em>family!</em> Edelgard couldn’t lose her-not now!</p><p>“My teacher, turn back time! I can’t do this without you!” Edelgard tried to crawl toward her teacher, but her arm collapsed, and she fell to ground, eyes watering. “I’m not strong enough!”</p><p>“Yes, you are. You always were.” Byleth’s green eyes were as calm and beautiful as the night they had first met. Full of a divine faith and trust that lifted Edelgard up into the sky, one last time. “I love you, little flower.”</p><p>The Immaculate One bellowed, and with a flash of white, the woman that Edelgard loved was sent flying over the ramparts of Garreg Mach, down into the endless sea of clouds below. Falling and tumbling out of sight, down into the darkness, carrying a young girl’s shattered dreams and hopes with her.</p><p>Byleth Eisner was gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One of the regular commentators (Hi, Counterpunch!) mentioned something a few chapters ago-the Holy Tomb could have been the end of this work. It's something I considered for a while, because after Byleth chooses Edelgard, what else could reach that emotional high?</p><p>The answer is really in why I find Three Houses such a beautiful game-it's about grace and faith. Not only in a religious sense-Byleth's faith and belief in Dimitri, Claude or Edelgard allows them to become their best selves. I find it such an important message. Faith can lift us up, like it does with Edelgard in this chapter, or it can cast people aside, like it does to Hegemon El in Azure Moon. I've tried to emphasize throughout this story-faith leads to Gilbert and Catherine’s fanaticism, but can also be seen in Lysithea, Ingrid, and Byleth's faith and trust in El. </p><p>The Christian theologian Dietrich Bonoeffer talks about "cheap grace vs. costly grace"-the idea that forgiveness comes with immense responsibility.  One of the many reasons Edelgard's route works for me is that after this moment of grace, Edelgard is left with a struggle-living up to her (absent) teacher's belief, and realizing that she is worthy of that love and respect (We see this in canon, where she tells Byleth she doesn't "think this is the path" Byleth was supposed to walk). </p><p>If the first half of this story was about Edelgard struggling with her role as the "villain", the second half is about the struggle of being a hero-of living up to the grace and faith that Byleth showed in her in the Holy Tomb.</p><p>Thanks so much for reading, and I'll see you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Bitter Victory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“What are you doing, El?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The young princess opened her eyes, overjoyed to see her sister’s smiling face. El never truly knew what it felt like to have a mother, and that dull, gnawing ache was always with her. Still, the sight of her older sibling always lightened her heart, and soothed her soul. Maybe El’s family wasn’t like everyone else…but it was <strong>hers</strong>, and she couldn’t imagine life without them.</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>Nothing, Aggie…I was just praying like you taught me.” </em></p><p>
  <em>Her sister sat on the edge of the bed, and wrapped her arm around her sibling. “Are you praying that Max stops being so annoying? Because I’ve been asking the Goddess for years, and I’m worried that might even be beyond Her power.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El began to giggle. “No, I was just talking to Her, and telling her about my day. It’s nice to have…” she began to blush. “A friend when I get lonely.” She started kicking her legs, full of nervous energy, as she always was whenever she wanted to ask Aggie an important question.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her older sister’s face softened. “What is it, El?”</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>Aggie…why do you still pray to Her? She didn’t give you a Crest.” El nervously played with the tassels in her brown hair.</em></p><p>
  <em>Agnes gave her sister a soft, sad smile, and shook her head. “If I’m honest, I used to be so angry with Her. After I didn’t manifest a Crest, my mother ignored me. Imagine knowing that your very existence is a failure...” She bit her lip. “I prayed and prayed and prayed to be given a Crest, because maybe then, my mother would love me. And Sothis never did.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El’s voice trembled with principled indignation. “Doesn’t it hurt your feelings that She didn’t help?” She crossed her arms, and glared at the palace ceiling, demanding a response from the Goddess.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, because if I did have a Crest, my mother would love that, and not me.” She reached down and hugged her sibling. “One day, I was praying, and I heard about how your mother had left you alone. And I realized…I could keep being sad and angry at everything I lost. At my mother, and the Goddess, and the world…and all that emptiness inside me would just keep getting bigger and bigger, until it ate up everything I was.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But…She didn’t help you.”</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>No, She didn’t.” Agnes laughed quietly, deeply confusing the little princess. “El, there’s something you have to understand about the world. People who have something…whether it’s friends, or family, or a Crest…they’ll never understand the pain of those who don’t.” She ran her fingers through El’s hair. “I didn’t have a Crest, or a mother who loved me, but that’s how I knew <strong>you </strong>needed help…and you filled up all that emptiness inside me.” She joined El in looking up at the ceiling and smiled. “That’s how Sothis saved me.”</em></p><p>
  <em>El scrunched her face. “That’s not fair. She didn’t <strong>do </strong>anything!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her older sister laughed, a musical sound just like the chiming of the bells of Enbarr Cathedral, and firmly grasped El’s arms. “We’re the Goddess’ hands. And if each person reached out and helped each other, no matter how bad they were hurting, there’d be no need for the Goddess at all.” She stood, and extended an arm. “Now come on…I heard your stomach rumbling, and that’s one problem I know we don’t need the Goddess to fix!” </em>
</p><p>Why had her sister lied? As the fire and destruction of battle consumed Garreg Mach, the Flame Emperor’s body shook. Byleth was gone. Ever since that fateful meeting in Remire, Edelgard had felt a spark-an indescribable, unbreakable connection with her teacher. It had magnetically guided the girl forward, like a bird flying home from the long, dark winter. Now, she just felt numb. She didn’t want to help, or make people feel better, or be a good person like her sister was. She just wanted to make someone hurt, and feel the same hollowness that now enveloped her.</p><p>The Immaculate One had screeched as she watched Byleth fly over the vast cliffs of Garreg Mach-whether out of despair or rage, it was impossible to say. Her attentions had turned to Edelgard, but the Empire’s artillery fire had begun to batter the now-massive target. With a final cry to the heavens, the great creature had flapped its wings and flown into the northern skies.</p><p>Garreg Mach was Edelgard’s, and all it had cost her was the person she cared for above all else.</p><p>“Edie.”  Dorothea knelt and smiled at Edelgard, her cap somehow still remaining on her head. She…she didn’t know. The Flame Emperor could only stare ahead. “Lin and Mari are healing some of the other troops…is it okay if I help you with your shoulder?” The massive spear was still lodged in the girl’s right arm, making each breath ragged. “And where’s the Professor? We could really use her-“ Dorothea paused, as Edelgard slowly turned, eyes red with tears.</p><p>For a few seconds that seemed to stretch into an eternity, the two close friends stared at each other, a simple glance communicating more anguish than any word ever could. And then something broke inside Dorothea Arnault.</p><p>“No.” She jumped to her feet in horror. “No. No. NO!” She tore at her beautiful brown hair, legs wobbling until she could no longer stand. Feet tried to move aimlessly, before she fell to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably with an open grief and distress that the Flame Emperor could not help but envy.</p><p>Dorothea was too kind to speak the words, but there was a silent accusation, hidden under each and every tear. <em>You did this, Edelgard. Your war cost us our teacher. </em>Edelgard could not stand to look at her friend a moment longer. As the only commoner in the Black Eagle house, Byleth’s support and encouragement had meant the world to Dorothea. She had meant so much to them all. And now, because of Edelgard, Byleth Eisner was gone.</p><p>There is a dreadful sound that the human voice makes, when sorrow and despair overwhelm the ability to speak. It was a sound Edelgard remembered all too well, as memories of old grief battered her like the unforgiving waves of the ocean. It tore open Edelgard’s old scars, the mental anguish that had caused El’s spirit to bend and twist into something strange and obscene.<br/>
<br/>
Edelgard saw movement out of the corner of her eye, a blue cape and blond hair, and felt something dreadful build within her. “Dorothea.” The voice was taciturn and aloof. Grief didn’t help anyone. Edelgard knew that…so she focused on something else. Something that would help her stand. “Stop the bleeding.” She grasped the spear lodged in her shoulder, and yanked it out before fear stayed her hand.</p><p>The Flame Emperor ignored the burning sensation that now sped through her body, trying to concentrate on what she wanted. Revenge. Aggie was wrong. She’d fill the emptiness inside her by making Dimitri pay. It’s not what Byleth would do…but unlike her teacher or her sister, Edelgard was not a good person.</p><p>Dorothea was a very skilled healer, and Edelgard could feel the wound close, as the comforting heat of Dorothea’s spell coated her shoulder. To be touched by faith magic was repulsive-what did Edelgard have to put her faith in? What did the Flame Emperor have to fight for, without the woman who had seen under that cold, armored shell?</p><p>The girl staggered to her feet, and grasped the steel ax that had fallen to her side. She walked toward the man who had stolen Edelgard’s light, pushing through the throng of assembled Black Eagles. As they looked at their house leader’s face, the creeping realization of what had happened reduced the group to hushed silence.</p><p>“Edelgard.” Petra stepped forward. “The Professor…where-”</p><p>“Yes.” Edelgard choked the words out. “The Immaculate One’s attack has…the Professor is...” She could not finish the statement, as if avoiding speaking the words would nullify the awful sight of Byleth Eisner flying over the precipice of the monastery. Edelgard tried to swallow, throat dry. “She is gone.”</p><p>Petra calmly lowered her head, and muttered a prayer as Lysithea gasped behind her. None of the Eagles spoke for an eternity, before Sylvain thrust the Lance of Ruin into the earth, letting loose a string of obscenities. Marianne sank to the floor, and covered her face with her hands.</p><p>“She…she can’t be gone, Edel! Not her!” Kronya grabbed the Emperor’s jacket, pale arms shaking with distress. “How can I still be here, and she-“ Edelgard was unable to answer, the same question consuming her.</p><p>As Dimitri listened, all his battle lust vanished, replaced with so much remorse. “The Professor…I…I didn’t mean for <em>her</em> to…” It had shocked the prince back to sense. He glared up at the girl looming above him, formerly pristine academy outfit torn and covered in blood. “Don’t you see what you’ve done!” He pointed to himself. “<em>This</em> is the face of war! There is no glory or honor or salvation, just death! This glorious future you claim to fight for is built on nothing but corpses and tears!“ He gestured to the fires and destroyed rubble of Garreg Mach.</p><p>The girl was silent for a moment, pushing down memories of peaceful days, and of a teacher with beautiful azure eyes. Finally, the burden became too great, and she kicked the boy in the chest, sending him to the earth. She pulled her dagger from the sheath that always lay on her belt, and raised it high in the air.</p><p>“Do you think I don’t <em>know</em>?” spat the Flame Emperor. “What is our present, if not a lie built on the suffering of so many innocent victims? Children thrown into the streets, or left to play soldier. Women haggled over like property. Commoners maltreated by a nobility without shame or remorse. The Church of Seiros already told them they don’t matter. If I do not speak for them, who will?”</p><p>“Do you truly speak for them, or for your own selfish desires?” growled the prince. “Without Crests, and the power of those that wield them, my country could not defend itself. You wish to tear out Faerghus’ heart, the very blades that keep my people safe. The people of Fódlan do not need your salvation, tyrant!”</p><p>She stared down at Dimitri’s face, recalling her visions from the future. She could hear Thales whisper in her ears. <em>You remember how he looked five years from now…at Gronder. He’d lost an eye, hadn’t he? Why don’t you make him pay? Make them fear you, and the Empire. You’re a weapon, Flame Emperor, and that’s what weapons are for…hurting people. Without feeling or regret. All for Fódlan's new dawn. </em></p><p>Her hand would not stop trembling, as she looked down at the boy. He lowered his head, as if this was the ending he’d expected all along. The Black Eagles watched their leader, each face filled with grief for their teacher, and fear at what Edelgard was capable of. After all, this was the girl who had allied with fiends and monsters. Sicced bandits on her classmates. Lied, plotted, and permitted so many terrible, dreadful things.</p><p>
  <em>They need <strong>you</strong>, little flower.</em>
</p><p>It was not Byleth. Edelgard knew that with every bit of her rational, calculating mind. It was obviously her own grief and pain, simply taking on the voice of a woman who had been so dear to her. A voice she may never hear again. That did not stop Edelgard’s dagger from falling to the ground with a decisive metallic clang.</p><p>The girl looked at her friends, and recognized the familiar emptiness in their faces. The loss and the anguish that they were now experiencing…it was a pain that Edelgard had carried from childhood-that she knew intimately, a grief that weighed down each breath from her lungs. Suddenly, with a flash of understanding, she realized what her sister had meant, all those years ago.</p><p>They didn’t have the Goddess, or their teacher. All they had was her.</p><p>Edelgard looked up at the sky. She had seen a vision of the future-one where she fought with honor and earned her teacher’s love. Even if it did not come to pass, Edelgard could no longer pretend that the potential for goodness did not rest within her. Even without Byleth, <em>especially </em>without Byleth, she must not falter.</p><p>It was a burden, a yoke that the Flame Emperor had no choice but to accept.</p><p>She would believe in the truth of that vision, and wait for her teacher’s return, no matter how hopeless it seemed. She would wear her teacher’s love like armor, and someday, perhaps she would become the person from that beautiful future-the woman Byleth loved. No matter how terribly she was hurting, and how deep the void inside her had become, she needed to be better than the weak, cruel girl she knew she was at her core.</p><p>Ladislava pushed through the Black Eagles, her voice filled with deference and respect. “Your Majesty…Faerghus has sent messengers. Lord Rodrigue is amassing an army at the Kingdom’s border, and they are about a day’s journey from the monastery. They are demanding the return of their Prince…”</p><p>Edelgard let out a sigh. There was no way that the battered Imperial army could defend the ruins of Garreg Mach from the army of Faerghus. She looked at her friends-the deep gash in Petra’s arm, and the hitch in Bernadetta’s gait-and she realized what she must do.</p><p>“Assemble the Blue Lions, and allow them to return to Faerghus under our protection. The Golden Deer are to be permitted safe passage to the Alliance, as well.” She slowly stood, trying to avoid looking at Dimitri. “At this time, they are not combatants. They are <em>not </em>to be ill-treated in any way, is that understood?”</p><p>Dimitri began to jeer at the girl, mocking laughter ringing in her ears. “Do you think this changes anything, Edelgard? Do you think your sins are so easily forgiven?“</p><p>“Get him out of my sight.” Edelgard snarled, fist clenched tightly under her white gloves.</p><p>The Flame Emperor’s pragmatic mind screamed in protest. She knew that she could hold Dimitri as an enemy combatant, crippling Faerghus while satisfying her own desire for vengeance. But a battle between the Kingdom and her own exhausted forces would be a bloodbath, one where there was no true victor. Perhaps, without Byleth and her friends, Edelgard would rationalize such wanton carnage for the greater good-but she was <em>not </em>the wretch she had seen in her visions.</p><p>As the prince was escorted away by Ladislava, he turned back to Sylvain and Ingrid. “Please…” he begged, not with the artificially calmness and kindness that had so often marked his behavior, but with a genuine and desperate pleading. “Don’t you understand what this will mean? For your families, and for your country?” His eyes burrowed into Ingrid. “Do you truly believe this was what Glenn would want? Perhaps if you had seen him die, as I did-”</p><p>Sylvain staggered forward, face as red as his hair, but Ingrid pulled him back. She stood in front of her dear friend, the man she had once dreamed of serving, but her old deference was gone. “I’ll never know what he wished, Dimitri. Perhaps if Faerghus thought of him as something other than a blade, we could ask him.” She lowered her head, body trembling with anguish. “Dimitri-my prince-please take care.”</p><p>The prince nodded at Ingrid’s words, and was slowly led away by Ladislava and the rest of the guards. Edelgard’s eyes met the prince for a brief instant, and the peaceful, oddly familiar blue was replaced by a murderous glare. There was a tempest raging inside the future King of Faerghus, and Edelgard knew that all of Fódlan would soon be caught in its storm.</p><p>Edelgard turned to Hubert. “Inform Count Bergliez to take as many soldiers as possible, and establish a defensive position around the Empire’s borders. The Empire is not to attack-not until we are given official declaration of the Kingdom’s alliance with the Church.” She paused, as the ache in her arm became impossible to ignore, before looking at her classmates. “We’ll need to begin fortifying the monastery tomorrow. I suggest you all get some rest.”</p><p>She staggered down the steps of the monastery, before Dorothea’s arm stopped her. “And where do you think you’re going, Edie? That wound needs to heal! You need to-“</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “I’m going to find her, Dorothea. She…she’s alive. I know it. She has to be.” How could she explain her belief in the vision of that quiet cottage? How could the heretic explain the seed of faith that now rested within her chest? The Flame Emperor tried and failed to steady her voice. “She didn’t abandon me, and I won’t abandon her.”</p><p>She stared into the faces of her friends, and the pity and sympathy she saw mocked her like nothing else could. They were <em>indulging</em> her, treating her as if she were a fragile, weak little girl! A child who could not accept that her teacher was…even in Edelgard’s mind, she could not speak the words.</p><p>“Edelgard…” Ferdinand’s voice was full of tender, gentle, infuriating compassion. “We all are aware of your…special relationship with the Professor. Though I am not Professor Byleth, I believe I speak for her when I say that she would not want you jeopardizing your health-“</p><p>Edelgard stopped, and turned back, voice calm and efficient. “It’s funny you use that word, Ferdinand. Belief. For years, I have felt it a weakness…an irrational refuge of those who are unable or unwilling to face the harsh truths of the world.” She ran her hands over her white gloves, the only outward sign of the turmoil beneath. “Perhaps I am not as strong as I imagined. Right now, my groundless belief in her return is the only reason I can still stand.”</p><p>The Eagles looked at each other, postures and expressions filled with discomfort. No one wanted to challenge the Flame Emperor, or to speak aloud the harsh reality of their teacher’s fate. Edelgard watched them for a moment, before the girl smiled.</p><p>“The last thing she did...” The Flame Emperor’s voice trembled. “She made me promise to keep you safe. All of you.” Lilac eyes met each Eagle, one by one. “I don’t deserve your friendship, or even your mercy. I know that.” She straightened her posture, and looked up at the sky. “But this is not about me, or my sins. We were her family. Not from blood or Crest or destiny, but by choice. She…she loved us. And when she comes back, I want our family to be there to greet her.”</p><p>A stillness fell over the battlefield, as the Black Eagles watched the Emperor of Adrestia plead with both them and the heavens. There was no movement, no motion from any of the Ashen Demon’s students.</p><p>Edelgard reached out a gloved hand to her friends…her family. “<em>Please</em>. I ask you to stay, not for me, but for our teacher. Our friend. The woman who believed in each and every one of us. For Byleth Eisner.”</p><p>Dorothea’s eyes welled with tears, and she ran down the steps, embracing the Flame Emperor. She looked into Edelgard’s eyes and smiled.</p><p>“Oh Edie…for Byleth.”</p><p>In an instant, Petra had joined her, strong hand wrapped tightly around Dorothea and Edelgard’s fingers.</p><p>“For Byleth.”</p><p>Bernadetta crept down the stairs, and placed a trembling, hesitant hand on top of her friends.</p><p>“F-for Byleth.”</p><p>Caspar pulled Linhardt along, and yanked the boy’s arm into the pile. Linhardt gave the group a bemused shrug, before both boys bellowed their oath.</p><p>“For Byleth.”</p><p>Sylvain and Ingrid smiled at Edelgard, the pegasus knight supporting her childhood friend with surprising gentleness as they made their way to the Black Eagles.</p><p>“For Byleth.”</p><p>Marianne nodded firmly, before pushing a strand of blue hair off of her forehead. Her voice was clear and strong and full of purpose.</p><p>“For Byleth.”</p><p>Lysithea carefully made her way down the stairs, body still recovering from the strain of her spells. She looked up at Edelgard with love and admiration and melancholy and many emotions that Edelgard recognized from so long ago.</p><p>“For Byleth.”</p><p>Hubert stood apart, before Ferdinand amiably grasped his dear friend around the shoulder, and gently forced him toward his classmates. After the young von Aegir extended his arm with emblematic style, Hubert sighed, and placed a gloved hand on top of the assembly.</p><p>“For Byleth.”</p><p>Edelgard looked up the stairs, where a lone figure stood, striking pale skin conspicuous against the orange skies of the monastery. Kronya had turned away, arm wrapped around herself, and head downcast.</p><p>“Kronya.” The Flame Emperor shook her head. “She needs all of her family. That includes you.”</p><p>“But Edel…I’m...” The girl protested for a moment, before that face, which Edelgard had so often seen consumed with rage and madness and hate, was filled with a joy that seemed beyond words to express. She bounded down the stairs, and jammed her arm into the circle.</p><p>"For Byleth."</p><p>So much of Edelgard von Hresvelg’s life was measured against the weight of ten monuments of stone that lay in the mausoleum of Enbarr…a burden that no action, no pleasure could ever counterbalance. But as the girl felt the warmth of her friend’s hands, encircling her own, El felt the love and acceptance that had been so cruelly ripped from her grasp.</p><p>It was her teacher’s final lesson, and last gift, and El would not waste it.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It had only been a few days, but the meetings already felt never-ending. After sending her manifesto to the assembled nobles of the continent, the Empire was soon besieged with scores of minor aristocrats, jockeying for position and influence under the new regime. It had required a steady, even hand-attempting to discern the wheat from the chaff, and establishing a provisional government that could last through however long the war would continue.</p><p>A large portion of this outreach included the restoration of Garreg Mach. In the depths of her pragmatism, Edelgard had never imagined holding the monastery-it was in a poor defensive position, and ill-suited as the center of the Empire’s forces. However, the inevitable merging of the Kingdom and the Church of Seiros, the Alliance’s neutrality, and perhaps most importantly, Edelgard’s newfound restraint, had completely altered the course of the war.</p><p>If Edelgard was honest about herself and her motivations-a truly frightening prospect-her sworn promise to reunite with her teacher at Garreg Mach played a much greater role in this decision then she would like to admit.</p><p>Regardless, without the power of Crest Beasts, the Empire’s tentative push into Kingdom territory had been easily rebuffed, and Edelgard quickly realized that this was to be a war, not of conquest, but of attrition. For many in Adrestia, who had long dreamed of a return to the Empire’s glory, this was unacceptable.</p><p>“With all due respect, Your Majesty, you need to be aware of the mood of the nobility,” said Count Bergilez, with his usual gruffness. “Those that supported you are asking why a strike was aimed, not at the Empire’s old territories, but at the Church of Seiros. And when they heard you had let the Prince and the future Duke Riegan leave without concessions, and refused Lord Arundel’s help…” He coughed. “They want results, Your Majesty, and they want them quickly.”</p><p>Edelgard rubbed her temples. This war council had already proven to be irritating. Still, Bergliez could always be counted on for candor, if not bluntness. She could ill afford to lose support-not when men like Aegir and Varley remained under house arrest, ready to be plucked back into power as soon as Edelgard faltered.</p><p>One of the larger halls was now being used as a meeting space, and Counts Hevring and Bergliez, the Imperial Guard, and few members of the Black Eagle Strike Force now attempted to determine what would be the Empire’s next course of action.</p><p>“Count Bergliez…” Ingrid leaned forward, resting her hands against her forehead. “I believe you are asking the right question to the wrong people.” She turned her attentions to Ladislava, who the pegasus knight had developed a quick friendship with, to Edelgard’s great pleasure. “How are the common soldiers responding?”</p><p>Ladislava gave a deep, throaty laugh. “I won’t lie. Many expressed private doubts to me about such a young girl taking on the leadership of the Empire…” Edelgard tried to stand straight in her chair, which only seemed to emphasize her lack of height. “But they saw what she did. She reinforced our position, when a more callous leader would have pushed ahead toward Faerghus. They’ve seen her placing flowers on the graves of each and every soldier that died in the assault on Garreg Mach. They feel she speaks for them. They adore her.”</p><p>Edelgard felt her cheeks begin to redden, and busied herself taking a long, slow sip of water, desperately trying to avoid Ingrid’s teasing smile.</p><p>Sylvain leaned forward and gave a rueful smile. “You gotta understand what you’re going up against, Count. You Adrestians and the Alliance have pride…that’s one thing. But when I was growing up in the Kingdom, all I was told, over and over, was that loyalty to my King and country was worth more than my life.” He tilted his head, and looked at Bergliez. “In the past two decades, Faerghus has nearly wiped out the people of Duscur, and annexed Sreng.”</p><p>Bergliez ran his hands through the bushy, untamed beard that rested on his chin. “Your point?”</p><p>Edelgard considered Sylvain a close friend, but his cocksure grin tested even her patience. “When Faerghus did those things…those weren’t wars. They were <em>crusades</em>.” He gestured to Edelgard. “And my very good buddy, the Emperor? She just launched an attack on the Church, the very thing that gave the Holy Kingdom the divine right to wipe out Duscur.” He shook his head. “If your soldiers don’t believe in her, and in what you’re doing…you’re going to get swept away by that belief.”</p><p>After the cavalier finished speaking, he leaned back, arms resting behind his head with self-satisfaction. His eyes briefly met the Flame Emperor’s, and he winked at her. It took every bit of self-control for Edelgard to resist kicking the boy’s legs from underneath the table.</p><p>“And we should trust your words…why?” Count Hevring, a reedy little man with spectacles and flowing green hair, looked at Sylvain with suspicion. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I cannot ignore that this war council contains the heirs to two of the leading houses of both the Kingdom and the Alliance. What guarantees do we have that-“<br/>
<br/>
Edelgard rose to her feet, and looked at Lysithea, Ingrid, Sylvain, and Marianne in turn. “They have more than earned my trust, Count Hevring, and any further questions about their allegiance also questions my will as Emperor.” She rested her hands on the table, and leaned toward the Minister, her eyes as steely and unforgiving as her ax. “Frankly, I find you, of all people, questioning loyalty rather amusing...but my good humor has its limits.”</p><p>Silence reigned over the table, as Hevring looked at Edelgard, engaged in a silent battle of wills. Edelgard ignored the headache developing in her temples, eyes remaining focused on the Minister. It only lasted a moment, and the man’s head quickly became downcast, quickly and quietly returning to the large wooden table.</p><p>“I am glad we have reached an agreement,” said the Emperor with typical bravado. “Now…we must discuss the Alliance.” She smiled warmly at Lysithea and Marianne. “Any strike on the Kingdom and Church is doomed to fail if the Alliance traps our forces in a vice.” She nodded calmly. “They must be our first target…”</p><p>Lysithea stood, which did not intimidate quite as she had hoped. “I will obtain House Ordelia’s support. We are not what we once were, but-“</p><p>Edelgard shook her head firmly. “It is fine.”</p><p>Marianne silently twisted her fingers, filled with nervous energy as every eye fell on her. Her head remained downcast, and her peaceful face was consumed with distress.</p><p>“Marianne.” Edelgard whispered kindly. “What do you think?”</p><p>For a moment, the girl shook, before she raised her head, grey eyes locked with lilac. “I think…I think we need a plan.” She almost appeared surprised at her own daring, before she pushed forward, full of resolve. “I will convince my adoptive father to support the Empire. He’s ambitious, and already chafing under the other houses. If we promise him even greater influence, he will follow you.”</p><p>Bergliez nodded approvingly. “Oh, I like this one.”</p><p>“But...” Marianne smiled at Ferdinand before continuing. “That is still only two houses, and we are the ones with the least authority. You need more.”</p><p>Hubert was looking at Marianne with an immense respect. “What do you propose? The Goneril, Gloucester, and Riegan heirs battled us less than a week ago, and House Daphnel is stringently against the Empire.”</p><p>Marianne nodded. “You wouldn’t know. Lorenz and Claude’s relationship…is...they…” For a moment, all the girl’s newfound confidence vanished, and she turned to Lysithea for support. “How…how would you describe it?”</p><p>Lysithea began to laugh. “Lorenz believes Claude has usurped his rightful place as head of the Alliance, while Claude thinks Lorenz is a fool. Imagine if Ferdinand were even more insufferable, and even more obsessed with Edelgard.” She looked at the young man and grinned. “An alarming notion, wouldn’t you agree?”</p><p>Ferdinand’s face reddened, but even he began to laugh at the young mage’s words. “Lorenz is a friend. You must understand…he and I do not view nobility the way the Emperor does.”</p><p>“Oh? And how, exactly, would you differ?” muttered Hubert drily. Edelgard could tell that it took every inch of her friend’s strength to avoid rolling his eyes.</p><p>“Nobility…is a calling.” Ferdinand stood, and clenched his fist. “Much has been given to those of us in positions of power, and Lorenz and I both strive to meet that impossible ideal each day. Count Gloucester may be a villain, but Lorenz despises abuses of influence more than anyone else.”</p><p>Sylvain looked down at the map of Fódlan, resting on the table. “I think you need Gloucester’s support, or at least to remain neutral. If you want to take out the Alliance, we’d need to act fast. If we get bogged down at the Great Bridge, and the Kingdom gets word-“</p><p>“We’ll be slaughtered,” agreed Edelgard. For a moment, the Flame Emperor rested her hand on her chin, lost in thought. The other members of the council silently waited, before she slowly raised her head. “Ferdinand. Marianne.” The two Black Eagles stood, awaiting the Emperor’s next words. “You will be our generals.”</p><p>Marianne’s already pale skin became even whiter. “Me? But I-“</p><p>“Not in a military campaign,” said Edelgard with a smile. “But in a role that I believe you two are uniquely suited to play-diplomacy. Obtain Count Gloucester’s support, and any of the other nobles.” She paced at the head of the table. “Ferdinand has been trained from birth in the art of negotiation, and he speaks the language of the Alliance…one I do not understand.” She smiled at Marianne, full of fondness. “And I believe anyone who just heard you speak would agree that you are more than qualified, Marianne.”</p><p>The girl tried to stammer out some words of protest, but Ferdinand exuberantly nodded. “We shall not fail, Your Majesty. So swears Ferdinand of Adrestria, and his partner Marianne von Edmund-the Voice of the Empire!”</p><p>Marianne sank into her chair, trying to avoid the smirks that had appeared on the faces of Ingrid and Lysithea.</p><p>Edelgard turned to the future Queen of Brigid. “Petra. Can you solidify Brigid’s support?”</p><p>The princess’ fingers rested on her sword. “Yes. Brigid will be fighting alongside the Empire. I will be making sure of it.” She stepped forward, royal bearing evident in every graceful movement. “But only as a free country. That is the promise I must be making to my people. You are understanding, Edelgard?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor slowly shook her head. “I am.” She nodded at Sylvain. “You understand Faerghus politics better than anyone. You will work with Count Bergliez.” A small grin appeared on her face. “Show them the tactical strategy I know so well.”</p><p>“And what of me?” grumbled Lysithea. “You can’t seriously expect me-“</p><p>“You will be working alongside Professor Hanneman and Linhardt, reporting directly on their research into Crests. Professor Hanneman has expressed reasonable concerns about our ability to neutralize the societal impact of Crests, but I am confident that three of the finest minds on the continent will be able to find a solution.”</p><p>The meeting had ran its course, and Edelgard’s headache could not be ignored any longer. She hastily assembled her notes and quills, before Hubert could begin to fuss over her.</p><p>“The manifesto was the first step, but we must win the hearts and the minds of the people, not just of Fódlan, but those locked in our sphere of influence.” She looked at the assembled group. “Byleth used to say…” She paused, weakness slipping into that stern, cold voice. “She’d say that a battalion is only as strong as their weakest fighter. Know that I am depending on you all.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The Emperor stumbled out into the brightness of the sun, eager to escape to the comforts of her room, far from quills and treaties and the thousand other pointless inanities that now consumed her day. She had spent four long nights searching the riverbanks and gorges near Garreg Mach for Byleth, and she could no longer fight through the fatigue.</p><p>Eyes dry and reddened, a dizzy spell forced her to sit on a nearby bench. For days, she had pushed herself from task to task, desperately trying to avoid thinking about the pain, or the image of Byleth’s body flying through the air, limbs askew and face wracked with pain. Edelgard saw it in her dreams, and when she closed her eyes, and the division between seemed to fray more and more each day.</p><p>“Edie.” Edelgard felt Dorothea’s delicate fingers lightly rest on her back, and raised her head out of her hands. “When was the last time you slept?” The green eyes of the singer were full of concern.</p><p>“I have found rest when I am able,” muttered the Flame Emperor. “Please do not worry yourself…I knew when I started this war that guilt and restless nights would be one of my many spoils of war.” She smiled at Dorothea. “It is like I told you, at the Red Canyon-if I refused to stain my hands out of idealism, I-“</p><p>“Goddess, you truly missed your calling as a stage performer,” giggled Dorothea. She had that same infuriating, charming grin that Edelgard loved and dreaded in equal measure. “I worked at an <em>opera</em>, and I’ve never met someone more dramatic in my entire life.”</p><p>“Dramatic? Me?” huffed the Emperor of Adrestia. “How can you-“</p><p>“Oh, really, <em>Flame Emperor</em>?” She put a finger to her lips, eyes twinkling. “And what did you tell us the first time you showed up in that silly outfit? ‘I will rebuild this world’?”</p><p>“Reforge,” mumbled Edelgard, eyes focused on her black heeled boots. “I will reforge this world.”</p><p>The two girls tried to avoid each other’s eyes, but even that could not stop the giggling that now sprung from the two of them, and soon, whether from exhaustion or grief or just simple relief at human contact, Edelgard found herself laughing for reasons even she could not explain.</p><p>“Edie…” Dorothea shook her head. “I know I said we were only there for Byleth. Well, I’m here to tell you, that’s garbage.” She looked down at her hands. “During the battle, I ended up fighting one of the knights…a boy named George or Gavin or something. We’d dated a few times. Nice smile, strong chin, dimples…the whole package.”</p><p>Edelgard felt a dread welling inside her. “What happened?”<br/>
<br/>
“I killed him.” Dorothea wrung her hands together. “Simple Thoron spell, right through the chest, just like that.” She snapped her fingers. “I’m going to remember the look on his face for the rest of my life. The shock, the pain…and then…” She trailed off.</p><p>“Dorothea.” Edelgard turned, and grasped her friend’s arm. “I’m sorry. If there was another way…”</p><p>“I know.” Dorothea sighed. “I was tossed into the street because I lacked a Crest. We were so desperate, I once ate the leather of a shoe, just to fill my stomach, and make it stop hurting. If Manuela hadn’t found me…I…” She bit her lip. “I killed him because even though I hate fighting, I hate what this world has done to little girls like you and me and Professor Byleth even more.”</p><p>Edelgard and Dorothea watched the Imperial soldiers busy themselves, grateful for this small bit of human connection, this friendship that Edelgard had once believed forever shattered. Dorothea hummed quietly to herself, a few soft musical notes rising into the air.</p><p>Abruptly, she turned to her companion. “I need you to do something for me, Edie.”</p><p>“Name it, and it will be done.”</p><p>Dorothea let out a soft chuckle at her friend’s dramatic pronouncement. “I know that my friend would only be doing this if she felt there was no other way. Whether you believe it or not, you’re one of the kindest, most compassionate people I know. But compassion can lead us to do dreadful things.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded slowly, hanging on Dorothea’s next words.</p><p>“I’m taking care of some local children. Those who were displaced by the war. It helps me…keep perspective, and do something other than kill.” The girl removed her hat, staring at the Flame Emperor. “I want you to find time to help me each week, and look into their eyes. I need you to remember why you’re doing this, and what it costs. For them, and for me, and for that knight I killed.”</p><p>Edelgard stood and nodded, unable to find words to answer her friend.</p><p>“Edie.” Edelgard stopped, and turned back to her classmate. “I don’t believe in much. A childhood on Enbarr’s streets will do that to you.” Dorothea closed her eyes, and Edelgard could only imagine the memories that the girl was now attempting to dispel. “If you truly believe the Professor is alive…well, I just want you to be able to look her in the eye when she comes back.” She paused. “And right now, I need something to believe in, too.”</p><p>As a silent understanding passed between the Emperor and the singer, Hubert stepped out of the shadows behind Dorothea. “Lady Edelgard, we have a problem that requires your attention.”<br/>
<br/>
Dorothea jumped, placing her hands over her heart. “Goddess! How long have you been there, Hubie? You can’t just-“ She looked at her classmate’s face, which had the faintest hint of a smirk. “Hilarious.” She turned to Edelgard. “I swear, I’ll never understand how you get used to this.”</p><p>Edelgard smiled as Hubert led her away, her voice teasing and soft. “Oh, he grows on you…like a mold.”</p><p>Hubert coughed, and did not respond to his liege, trying to retain his dignity. They walked the familiar paths of Garreg Mach, weaving through rubble and busy Imperial soldiers. Hubert knew that one of the most precious gifts Edelgard could be given was the gift of silence, and the Flame Emperor was incredibly grateful for his understanding. Hubert stopped outside the dining hall, where a blue-haired boy was sheepishly rubbing his hair, next to an orange-haired girl with pale skin.</p><p>“Caspar.” Edelgard placed a finger on the bridge of her nose. “What is it this time?”<br/>
<br/>
“Our young firebrand…” Hubert’s serious countenance was failing to hide his great amusement. “Has been brawling with a few of the Imperial guards.” He placed a hand behind his back. “Would you care to tell Her Majesty why?”<br/>
<br/>
Caspar mumbled something, the words disappearing into the ether. His face was reddened, though whether from exertion, or anger, or emotion, Edelgard could not tell. Seconds passed, before Kronya could not contain her nervous energy, and leapt forward.</p><p>“It’s not his fault! We were in the training yard, and I was just trying to show this <em>moron</em> how to quit taking so many hits in battle…” She crossed her arms petulantly. “I mean, how hard is it to avoid a dagger when I’m telegraphing…”</p><p>“Kronya.” Edelgard was again left in awe of her teacher, wondering how Byleth had not murdered the entire class of Black Eagles, Edelgard included, within the first month. “Please get to the point.”</p><p>“Oh, right, Edel! Sorry!” Kronya grinned happily. “Caspar heard some of the guards whispering about me, and he, well-“</p><p>“They were calling her a pale, one-eyed freak!” Caspar fumed, appearing ready to brawl again. “I won’t let anyone talk like that about her!” Kronya looked away, choosing to examine one of her daggers.</p><p>“Be that as it may, Caspar…” Hubert sighed. “You have a responsibility to Lady Edelgard to act as a leader-“</p><p>“Hey!” The boy crossed his arms petulantly, and looked up at Edelgard. “Professor Byleth always said that everyone deserves respect, right Edelgard? What would she have done?”<br/>
<br/>
The words hit the Emperor of Adrestia like one of Kronya’s knives, and for a moment, she could only blink, stunned by the truth of the boy’s words. She turned to Hubert with a sly smile.<br/>
<br/>
“You know, Hubert…that project you, Kronya and Bernadetta are engaged in…” She smiled at Caspar warmly. “Perhaps we could expand the circle of trust?”</p><p>Hubert’s face became paler than Kronya. “Lady Edelgard. You know that I follow your will without question, but would Caspar not be better suited-“<br/>
<br/>
“Is that not <em>why </em>he would be a terrific asset?”  Edelgard questioned. “Who would suspect him? Who would notice?”</p><p>“All right…what are you guys talking about?” grumbled Caspar. “And when do I get to punch people?”</p><p>Edelgard quietly chuckled. “Caspar, for years, the Empire has been infiltrated by people like my ‘Uncle’. These fiends have stolen the lives and faces of well-placed individuals in Fódlan, perverting their memories. At this time, we cannot openly act against them without plunging the Empire into civil war-“</p><p>Hubert’s fingers conjured a dark spell, and he twirled the energy between his fingers. “That does not mean we will stand idly by, however.” He glanced at Kronya. “Given our classmate’s…defection, we have information we lacked. On how to find them, and how to kill them.”</p><p>Kronya began to cackle. “All this time, they trained me as a weapon, while planning to use me as a sacrifice…” She smiled at Edelgard. “It’s pretty delicious, isn’t it, Edel?”</p><p>Edelgard smiled at the girl, her own memories of Thales’ jeering laughter no longer quite as frightening. “It is, Kronya.” She turned to Caspar, and offered a hand. “Caspar. I do not think like you. Neither do Kronya or Hubert. I want you there, because you are one of the most forthright people I know. Just as you told the Professor…I expect you to cause trouble, and keep us honest.”</p><p>Caspar wrapped an arm around Kronya, and began to rustle her orange hair. “I can do that, Edelgard.” For a moment his face softened, as the Agarthian attempted to disentangle herself from his grasp. “You know…you really have changed.”</p><p>“What…what do you mean?”</p><p>“The old Edelgard would have just assumed she was right, and tried to save everyone her way, whether they asked or not. Remember when you thought I was a victim?” Caspar shook his head. “When you talk like this…trying to make everybody feel important…well, you sound like her. She’d be proud of you.”</p><p>“Thank you, Caspar,” mumbled the Emperor of Adrestia. “That means a great deal.”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Preparations were already underway for more comfortable sleeping arrangements, but truthfully, Edelgard found something comforting about her old dormitory. Even in the midst of the battle, her old room had remained undisturbed, to the Emperor’s quiet satisfaction. Here, she did not have to be strong, or a leader. Here, she did not have to hide her grief. Sleeping amidst her old assignments and sketchbooks, she still felt as if she would awake for one of Byleth’s lectures, and all the blood and sins would wash away.</p><p>She lay in bed, and closed her eyes, trying to calm her breathing…</p><p>
  <em>I love you, Little Flower…</em>
</p><p>Byleth’s body was flying over the ramparts of Garreg Mach, and Edelgard could only watch, helplessly. She was just as feeble and pathetic as the days she had spent chained to a wall, watching her siblings shrivel and die, coughing on their own blood-</p><p>Edelgard shook her head, trying to push the intrusive memories out. It did not work. The sight replayed in her head, over and over again, the girl’s breathing becoming faster and faster and the guilt in her chest becoming greater and greater and it was all her fault, just like her siblings…</p><p>The Flame Emperor shot to her feet, and stared into her mirror, grasping the sides of her head. She had imagined her own death, countless times-in her darkest moments, even welcoming it. But this? The terrible burden of each day-stretching on into infinity, the grim possibility of a lifetime always feeling this…this incompleteness? How could she be that strong?</p><p>Edelgard’s eyes alighted on the carnations Byleth had left on her desk, not a week before. They were beginning to droop, and Edelgard rushed to them with all the strange intensity of a person desperately trying to distract themselves from grief. She pulled open a book that rested on her desk, filled with carefully pressed flowers from the bouquet of carnations that Byleth had gifted her each and every week.</p><p>Edelgard knew she should be sleeping, that Hubert had moved heaven and earth to allow her this small respite, but she could not stop herself. She needed to preserve this gift. She needed to hold something her teacher held, and keep it. To know that not everything Edelgard loved would wither and die at her touch.</p><p>The task was simple, and Edelgard’s experienced hands finished it with a grace and gentleness that no one would have guessed lay within the Flame Emperor. Her hands were for swinging an ax, or signing a declaration of war-not to make beautiful things, or to hold Byleth-</p><p>She shook her head, and admired her handiwork. She placed a copy of the scriptures of the Church of Seiros on top of her prized possession, finding gentle amusement in discovering a use for that weighty, miserable tome. She stumbled to her dresser, and pulled out an armored, stuffed bear, clutching it tightly.</p><p>As she collapsed onto her bed, she knew she looked like a ridiculous, pathetic child-she could only imagine the response from her troops. Who would follow a little girl, desperately grasping the stuffed bear her teacher gifted her? She needed to be strong, needed to hold on, even if Byleth was gone, and her siblings were gone, and everyone Edelgard loved went away in the end…</p><p>The stern, efficient leader of the Adrestian Empire began to sob quietly into her pillow, grasping that bear as if it were the only way that El could find another breath. It was the only place she felt she could show her secret self, the kind, lonely girl that only Byleth had believed was still hidden inside the Flame Emperor. That girl wept until there were no tears left to cry, and she finally and mercifully fell asleep.</p><p>
  <em>“Would you like another tea-cake, Edelgard?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Flame Emperor blinked, and before her stood Byleth Eisner, blue hair blowing in the wind. Edelgard glanced around herself, and the familiar cottage she had seen in her vision. The Ashen Demon was dressed in a simple, white button-down shirt, and tan riding slacks, her hair tied back in a ponytail. She smiled at Edelgard, and suddenly, wonderfully, Edelgard’s world all fit together again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It took every inch of strength for Edelgard to avoid hopping over the table and embracing Byleth. “My teacher…” Edelgard gasped. “Is it…is it really you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Does it matter?” said Byleth with a knowing smile. “Always so logical. The one thing I could never teach you, Edelgard, was that questions don’t always need answers. I love you, and you love me, and if dreams are all we have…” She placed down her teacup. “But tell me about you, and them.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>El stared into her teacher’s blue eyes, trying to somehow discern if they were the eyes of the woman she loved. She peered, and scrutinized, until she realized that it did not matter. And instantly, the dam burst, and for countless minutes, Edelgard unleashed all of the worries that consumed her, the secret weaknesses and fears she kept so carefully guarded under the Emperor’s crown.</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>I’m not going to make it, my teacher. It hasn't even been a week, and they’re all relying on me…” she whispered. “You were always so unbreakable…unshakeable. However bad things got, I knew that you would-“ She ran her hands through her silver hair. “How were you always so…so perfect?”</em></p><p>
  <em>Byleth began to choke on her drink. “<strong>Me</strong>? Perfect? Remember how you had to help me with the paperwork for Ingrid’s transfer? Or when you had to explain what sugar was for?” Edelgard began to smile at the happy memories. “Edelgard.” Byleth’s expression became serious. “Look at this.” She reached down to the grass beneath their feet, arm grasping a small stick.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That’s…that’s a stick, my teacher.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yes,” nodded Byleth. “But watch.” She twisted it in her hands, and the branch bent from the force, but did not shatter. “The wood didn’t break because it had give. I’m not the Goddess, and you’re not the Emperor. That’s what other people want us to be, but we know better. You’re something much more wonderful. You’re Edelgard.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Flame Emperor’s eyes began to moisten, but she simply nodded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You can’t only show our friends your strength, and none of the weakness…eventually, you’ll break.” Byleth nodded sagely. “And sometimes, weakness is what they need to see.” She looked up at the sky, and nodded. “I think we have to go.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“NO!” Edelgard shot to her feet. “I need you! Without you…I’m fumbling in the dark...searching for little pieces of you everywhere. I miss your voice, and your smile, and everything about you. Each day I learn about how much more I loved you, Byleth.” She sank into her chair. “Please don’t leave!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth grinned at her, with a teacher’s pride, as if Edelgard had correctly answered a difficult question. “I’ll see you again, Edelgard. The Goddess is watching out for us.”</em>
</p><p>BANG!</p><p>The door to Edelgard’s room shook from the force of the knock, and for a few moments, Edelgard’s eyes whirled around with panic. She rubbed her shoulder, and quickly made her way to the door, opening it to see a familiar mane of blond hair.</p><p>“Come on,” said Ingrid brusquely. “I’ve been watching you. You’re spending too much time in that room, you’ve only talked about business with your friends, and you haven’t eaten all day.” A rumble from Ingrid’s stomach caused the knight’s face to turn crimson.</p><p>“Now who’s the schemer?” teased Edelgard. “Enlighten me, Ingrid. Are you going to eat five meals this time, or are we trying for a new Garreg Mach record?”</p><p>Ingrid laughed, and wrapped her arm around Edelgard. “I haven’t decided. Now come on, the Strike Force is all eating dinner together, and we needed to see you.”</p><p>For the next hour, Edelgard laughed with each of her friends, tormenting Linhardt with memories of his most outlandish sleeping spots, and attempting to recall the most bizarre excuse Bernadetta had used to avoid leaving her room. The Black Eagles teased Edelgard on the obviousness of the name “Flame Emperor” and toasted Byleth Eisner with a cask of wine that Sylvain found in the kitchens.</p><p>It was incredible fun, and as the evening finished, Ingrid and Edelgard found themselves wandering the pathways of Garreg Mach, as they had once done so many times before. The pegasus knight had stuck close to Edelgard the entire evening, out of what Edelgard assumed was concern and worry.</p><p>“I’m glad you came out,” said Ingrid, normally stern voice lightened by companionship and a not insignificant amount of wine. “I apologize if I seemed forceful, it’s just that…with the Professor…” She lowered her head. “I remember when I lost Glenn. Leaving my room was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve been so worried about you.” She swallowed. “I never know how to talk to anyone…it’s probably why…”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “Why what?”</p><p>Ingrid smiled that careful smile she always displayed when trying to hide her emotions. “Nothing. I suppose I just missed my friend.” As they moved toward the dormitories, Ingrid grabbed Edelgard’s arm. There was something strangely desperate in her green eyes “How about a spar? I know it’s late, but I want to see if you’ve been slacking on your form, Emperor.” Her voice trailed off with an awkward chuckle.</p><p>Edelgard watched at the pegasus knight for a moment. “Are you sure you’re all right, Ingrid? I wouldn’t mind, but if you need the rest-“</p><p>“Great! Then it’s settled!” Ingrid bounded toward her dormitory. “Go get yourself ready, and I’ll meet you!” Mystified by her friend’s odd behavior, Edelgard made her way to her room, quickly putting on her old workout uniform, and tying her hair back with a ribbon. She wandered outside her dorm, and after waiting for Ingrid for a few minutes, went to the knight’s old room.</p><p>The door was open, and like Edelgard, Ingrid was in the habit of keeping her room organized and spartan. There was no sign of the Faerghus noble, and Edelgard decided to wait by the door for her return. After a few more minutes of boredom, she decided that Ingrid must have left for the training yard, and began to leave. This motion, however, dislodged a sheet of paper perched on the side of Ingrid’s desk.</p><p>Cursing her clumsiness, Edelgard moved to return the letter to the desk, when her vision caught a stray sentence. <em>You are a disgrace. </em>A horrible feeling developed in the pit of Edelgard’s stomach, and the Flame Emperor was unable to look away.</p><p>
  <em>I have heard what happened. All of Faerghus has, by this point. You have sided not with your King, but with the Empire. You are a disgrace, and a traitor to both the Kingdom and your people.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How many times did I allow you to reject perfectly eligible suitors? How often did I feed you, while going without food myself? I have no daughter. Only a craven, selfish witch who spits on our family’s honor. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So often, I asked the Goddess why She had cursed me with a daughter who focused not on her duties as a woman, but on ridiculous delusions, unfitting for her station. I had believed that marriage to the Fraldarius heir was an answer to my prayers-the boy seemed fond of you, for reasons I could not discern. But even that was taken from me. The punishment I helped mete on the demons of Duscur is my sole consolation. </em>
</p><p><em>I</em> <em>had hoped that you would grow out of your selfish, childish nonsense, but I realize now that I was too lenient. I tried to shape you, to make you a proper woman, but a stronger hand was needed. The guilt from my indulgence is the burden I shall carry with me for the rest of my life. Know this: by running from your duties as a woman to the Galatea name, you have no home, and no family. You-</em></p><p>“It goes on like that for another three or four pages,” said Ingrid, voice lowered to a whisper. Edelgard turned to see the pegasus knight holding a spear in her hands. “I haven’t been able to read the rest.” She shuffled toward the bed, and collapsed, curling up into herself. “Sylvain got one too…but the difference is…” Ingrid covered her eyes, failing to hide the tears that now fell from them. “He already knew his father didn’t love him.”</p><p>Edelgard sank down on the bed, next to this girl who had given up so much, following a teacher that was now gone. For years, the only close confidant in Edelgard’s life had been Hubert, and that relationship posed its own unique challenges. She had never really had a friend before, and her mind desperately landed on the solution of slowly rubbing the sobbing Ingrid’s back.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Edelgard surprised even herself with the softness of her words.</p><p>The knight looked up, beautiful green eyes reddened with so many tears. “When…when I was a child, I loved riding horses. It was my favorite thing in the whole world, Edelgard. Do you know what my dad and my brothers would do?”</p><p>Edelgard slowly shook her head.</p><p>“They’d laugh at me. They said I spent time with horses because they were the only things more clumsy and awkward than I was. I've always known I was a disappointment, but to see it...” Ingrid’s gaze went distant. “I guess…I guess I’m only realizing now, he only loved the Ingrid that existed in his head. Not the real me.” She stared at the ceiling. “I’m not sure anyone does.”</p><p>Edelgard searched her mind desperately, looking for a way to be strong for her friend, before she remembered Byleth’s words. She took a deep breath. “Can I speak to you, not as the Emperor…but as your friend?” Ingrid raised her head and nodded slowly.</p><p>“For many years, I have considered myself…ugly.” Edelgard sighed. “You have seen my wrists...I was told I was a weapon, meant only to destroy. Even now, I am filled with doubts-doubts I cannot show, because of the needs of my position. But you…” Edelgard gripped her friend’s hand. “When I know that a woman as honorable and true as you has chosen to stand with me…not just as my knight, but as my best friend…all those doubts melt away.”</p><p>Ingrid leaned up on the bed, face overwhelmed with emotion.</p><p>“I have been meaning to ask…” whispered Edelgard. “Ladislava and Randolph have been assigned to maintain the Faerghus border, and as Emperor, I am expected to have protection in case..” She waved her hand idly. “Would you mind? I know it is a waste of your talent, but I require someone I have complete faith in, and…” She swallowed, finding the truth hard to vocalize. “Since the Professor’s disappearance, I’ve been rather…it’s been hard to…”</p><p>Ingrid leaned forward, and wrapped her arms around the Emperor of Adrestia in a warm, strong embrace, and for an instant, all the pain and loneliness of Edelgard’s birthright seemed to melt away. However long she went without Byleth, as long as she had her friends by her side…she knew she could keep the faith.</p><p>“Of course I will, Edelgard,” whispered Ingrid softly. ”It's...it's okay. I miss her too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Considering what a plot and emotionally heavy experience last chapter was, I wanted to give us a chapter to deal with the fallout before we move into the five year gap. Besides setting up some arcs, I thought it was so important to answer the question-why doesn't losing Byleth break Edelgard? </p><p>I think the answer is that she's developed a faith in something again (she tells Rhea in JP that Rhea is "wrong if she thinks she's given all that up!"), and I wanted to chart that journey, and start to show why CF Edelgard laughs and cries within minutes of the reunion with Byleth.</p><p>Ingrid's father and brothers laughing at her is brought up in her tea-time dialogue. I think there's a tendency to view Count Galatea as a lesser evil compared to people like Varley, but much of Ingrid's anxious fussing over her friends, suicidal tendencies, and poor self-image takes on an even darker quality when you look at how she's treated by her loved ones.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Year One: Chasing Your Shadow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The early summer was the most difficult of all for Edelgard’s broken heart. She had once loved the season-the medley of colors and new life, the fruits of spring’s labor-but now, without Byleth, the pleasant caress of the summer breeze seemed a cruel taunt. As her beloved flowers bloomed, the Imperial monarch could not help viewing it as a harsh reminder of all she had lost, and all that lay outside her grasp.</p><p>The war had limped on…and a familiar, frustrating ritual had begun to play out over the days, weeks, and months. A few stray pushes forward into the Kingdom, only to lose the territory within the week. Faerghus’ roads and infrastructure were the least advanced in Fódlan, and this made the Imperial supply convoys especially vulnerable to attacks from both the Kingdom and bandits. Edelgard realized that, for now, simply holding their meagre gains would have to be sufficient.</p><p>Dimitri had assumed the throne of Faerghus, his coronation sanctified by the Archbishop herself. What thin lines had once blurred the Kingdom and the Church of Seiros were now gone, and the new king had wasted little time in wielding the divine might of the crown. He had given a passionate, rousing speech denouncing the Empire, branding its new ruler as a heretic and a threat to the time-honored traditions and stability of Fódlan.</p><p>His welcoming of Lady Rhea, and subsequent offer of sanctuary from Imperial forces, had endeared the young king to many in the Kingdom, and Dimitri enjoyed much support from both noble and commoner alike. Faerghus’ vicious purge of those deemed insufficiently loyal to the Crown, particularly in the border territory of House Rowe, had only increased the fervor in the Kingdom. As great as the loathing was for the heretical Emperor, greater still was the hatred for the traitorous young Galatea and Gautier heirs, now excommunicated and cast out.</p><p>But there were cracks in the gleaming white façade-quiet whispers of the young King’s frightening obsession with Emperor Hresvelg, and rage at the betrayal of two of his closest friends. Rumors of his terrifying anger persisted, along with hearsay about the new ruler muttering to himself in darkened corners of the castle. Those stories-along with reports of the Archbishop’s mad laughter in the dead of night-were dismissed by many in the Kingdom as Imperial propaganda.</p><p>The Alliance, meanwhile, was in disarray. Duke Riegan had passed away not long after the battle of Garreg Mach, and Claude had ascended to his uncle’s former position. It soon became clear that Claude had little interest in presenting a unified front-or declaring his true intentions. The noble houses were quickly divided. Ordelia and Edmund-whose heirs were valued members of the young Emperor’s inner circle-had stated their unquestioned support for the Adrestian leader, while Daphnel and Goneril were stringently against. Riegan and Gloucester had not openly declared a position, but Gloucester’s flirtations and demands for concessions from the Alliance, Kingdom, and Imperials were an open secret.</p><p>Claude was a natural diplomat, and even Edelgard had to respect the brilliance of his maneuvers-the Alliance’s neutrality had made them the kingmakers of the continent, and emissaries from the Kingdom and the Empire were a frequent sight in Derdriu. The Imperial efforts-led by Ferdinand and Marianne, along with Lysithea-had become an exercise in frustration, as Claude refused to be pinned down. He was no friend of the Empire-Edelgard knew that much-but neither did he seem eager to support the Kingdom and the Church of Seiros. Edelgard remained unsure as to her old rival’s ultimate aim, but she had begun to suspect the scope of his ambitions rivaled even hers.</p><p>Once, all this anguish and frustration would have caused the Flame Emperor to rage-to fret and fume and snap with the slightest provocation at the people she dared to call her friends. But that was before she had met Byleth Eisner, and gained a courage she did not know she possessed. The fruits of that bravery could be glimpsed at the strange sight of the Emperor of Adrestia quietly gardening with Bernadetta von Varley.</p><p>Edelgard no longer found Bernadetta, and the girl’s frequent attacks of anxiety, frustrating. From the moment they had met, the young noble had clung to Edelgard, apologizing and trembling for each imagined misstep in her house leader’s presence. Ever since…the dungeons, Edelgard’s temper was a precarious balancing act, and any disruption to that equilibrium caused the Emperor to lash out with all the hidden fear and panic of a cornered animal. It was one of the many things that the Flame Emperor loathed about herself.</p><p>However, as she spent more time around Bernadetta, and the two women realized the extent to which they had both suffered, the exasperation and unease that had once marked their relationship was replaced with a quiet understanding. Just as Bernadetta gained confidence from Edelgard’s presence, Bernadetta inspired an inexpressible serenity that the Emperor would not trade for anything. Flowers were their language; as Bernadetta had once whispered, in a broken voice that had shattered Edelgard’s heart-“flowers don’t get angry…or hit you.”</p><p>The brown-haired little girl who remembered the collision of Duke Aegir’s boots into her ribs could not help but agree.</p><p>With Marianne due to return from a diplomatic mission within days, Bernadetta and Edelgard had the greenhouse all to themselves. The archer was quietly tending to a few crocuses, while Edelgard was caring for the lilies her teacher had planted. In a fit of sentimentality, El had placed them next to her own beloved carnations. If she could not feel her teacher’s kind, steadying hand, at least...</p><p>“L-Lady Edelgard?” Bernadetta gently touched the Emperor’s back. “Are…are you okay? You’ve been staring at those lilies for-”</p><p>Edelgard coughed and nodded, attempting to assume a proud and regal bearing, disgusted at this sign of weakness. Bernadetta attempted to fill the silence.</p><p>“Um…I think she’d really like all the work you’ve done.”</p><p>Bernadetta’s face had taken on a healthier color, the result of regular excursions outside the confines of her room. Hubert, Ingrid, Dorothea…no matter the Eagle, at one point or another, Bernadetta could be found nearby, a girl both terrified and exhilarated by a world she only now dared to join. It was as if Edelgard’s message-that all the silent voices and sins of the continent would finally be brought into the light-had given Bernadetta new life. Even her hair had begun to receive regular care, after Dorothea had given some of her messy, untidy locks a trim.</p><p>Edelgard simply nodded by way of response, unable to vocalize the emotions that Bernadetta’s words had inspired. As she watched, the archer began to rock back and forth, fingers drumming on her leg. The Emperor caught herself before she let out a sigh. “What is it you wish to ask me?” Edelgard smiled, hoping that this would diminish the natural severity that so often marred her face.</p><p>Bernadetta jumped, perhaps frightened by how easily her true feelings had been discerned. “I…I haven’t been sure how…how to say this…and I know it’s something you don’t like to t-talk about but I don’t have anyone else and I don’t want you m-mad at me because I don’t think I’d be able to leave my room if not for you and Hubert and the Professor and everyone else and-“</p><p>The young Varley said all of this in a single breath, only stopping when Edelgard raised her hand.</p><p>“Breathe. And tell me what you need.”</p><p>Bernadetta’s eyes darted around the greenhouse, the words seemingly trapped somewhere in her throat. “I…I want you to tell me…” She sighed. “I w-want to know whether I should kill my dad.” For a moment, the only sound that could be heard was a stiff breeze blowing against the heavy wooden doors of the structure.</p><p>Edelgard placed her hands behind her back, adopting what she hoped to be a neutral position. “I believe I understand, but please tell me why.”</p><p>Hands, calloused from launching immeasurable arrows, began to quake. “I’m tired of people laughing at me. I...I’m tired of being scared every time I see someone raise their arm. Hubert and Jeritza both said they’d do it if I-“</p><p>“You’ve been talking to Jeritza?” Edelgard’s eyes widened.</p><p>“He’s s-so sweet. He’s a lot like Hubert, except he’s not as cute-” said a blushing Bernadetta, before her face darkened. “Is that why you helped Jeritza? Because people hurt him like they hurt u-us?”</p><p>“That…was one of the reasons.” Edelgard turned away, busying herself by trimming a few stray stems. “Why are you asking my advice, specifically, Bernadetta?”</p><p>“Um…because…” Edelgard could hear the hesitancy in her friend’s voice. “I saw your arms…and I don’t r-really understand why you didn’t kill my father yourself.”</p><p>Edelgard reflexively clenched her fist. Battered by flashes of her time in the Imperial dungeons, she tried to steady her breathing. “I do not want you to believe that my sparing of the Prime Minister, or any of the other members of the Insurrection, is based on any grand moral quality I possess. I simply deemed the political cost to outweigh my personal satisfaction. I do not-”</p><p>“But…doesn’t it bother you? What they took from you?” Bernadetta bit her lip. “M-my father made me l-like this.” Her voice began to rise, and lost its signature stammer. “He tied…he tied me to a CHAIR! For DAYS!” She sank to the ground, terrified by her own outburst. “You want to kill the Archbishop, don’t you? W-why should my father be any different? I just…I just want him to feel as scared as I am.”</p><p>The question stopped Edelgard cold. Why was the Archbishop different? She thought back to the frightening despair and loss she had seen in those green eyes, so lonely and painful…so familiar. She hated the woman, but after the flurry of battle had subsided, some of Rhea’s cryptic comments to Byleth had continued to reverberate in her head. What had the Archbishop planned for the Ashen Demon?</p><p>“Bernadetta…” Edelgard lowered to a knee, and placed her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “May I take some time to think about your question? Your words have challenged my own prejudices, and I do not wish to give a trusted friend hasty, rash advice.” She smiled warmly. “Would that be all right?”</p><p>Bernadetta nodded. “Of course, L-lady Edelgard.”</p><p>The Emperor of Adrestria walked toward the greenhouse entrance, and paused for a moment. “Bernadetta. When it’s just us…you can call me Edelgard.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>There was one more regular component to Edelgard’s weekly trip to the greenhouse…her weekly pilgrimage and penance for her greatest failure. The monastery graveyard was peaceful, and thankfully had remained undisturbed in the chaos of the great battle of Garreg Mach. As Edelgard knelt at the grave, and placed a small collection of wildflowers, she smiled awkwardly at the memorial.</p><p>“Jeralt.”</p><p>Even Edelgard could not explain why she spoke his name aloud, each time. Her cowardice and arrogance had led to the man’s death. She had failed to honor her promise to protect his daughter. Did she truly think she deserved absolution? Why, in a life full of failures and sins, was this the one that ate away at the Flame Emperor’s insides the most?</p><p>“I’m still looking. I’ve searched almost the entire stretch of river. You know the one. Where we fished that day. Remember? I caught a little trout. “ Edelgard swallowed, and looked up at the sky. “I say this each week, but I must apologize. Whenever I was around you, and her…I allowed myself to become complacent. To dream that my world would allow such silly, simple things.” The girl shook her head. “And you were the ones who paid the price.”</p><p>Edelgard sighed, feeling as out of place as ever. Long ago, El would have said a prayer to the Goddess for Jeralt, and Byleth, and all those she had lost, but it all seemed…beyond her. She wished to say something to the Goddess, beg for answers or comfort or just somehow feel as she had once felt. It was like a phantom limb-that comfort forever gone, her soul forever defined by an absence. Perhaps if she was still that girl-still the good, pure little girl with brown hair, still El-she would know what to say or do.</p><p>But she wasn’t.</p><p>“Your Majesty!”</p><p>Startled, the Emperor whirled around, hand firmly clasped on the dagger that never left her side. As her panic and fear subsided, and she recognized both the jovial sound of the voice, and the familiar glimpse of orange hair, her features lit up with a genuine smile.</p><p>“Ferdinand. Marianne. You’ve returned.”</p><p>She rose, and firmly grasped her friend’s hand, before he had a chance to bow. The boy’s orange hair was beginning to grow out, due to what Ferdinand claimed was an inability to find the time to trim it-but Edelgard suspected that it had more to do with distinguishing himself from his balding, unscrupulous father. Ferdinand flipped his cape behind himself, before dramatically and self-consciously placing a hand on his hip.</p><p>“We have. I deeply wish Marianne and I had better news for you, Edelgard.” He gestured to his companion standing next to him, whose tidy blue hair and rested eyes marked a girl profoundly different than the one Edelgard remembered from the beginning of her time at Garreg Mach. “Count Gloucester remains as frustrating as ever, and despite our best efforts…”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “Gloucester knows the strength of his position, and he will continue to play all sides against each other. It is my fault for placing you into such a poor negotiating position.” She sighed. “Any changes?”</p><p>Marianne and Ferdinand looked at each other with guilty expressions, before Margrave Edmund’s daughter spoke. “Your Majesty-“</p><p>“Please, Marianne.” Edelgard shook her head. “I have enough formalities and bureaucracies in my life, as Hubert is ever so eager to remind me. I do not need one of my closest friends calling me by that wretched title.”</p><p>“Edelgard,” nodded Marianne, the hint of a smile on her face. “You know that Ferdinand and I are…involved.” Ferdinand leaned down and gently kissed the girl on the lips, causing her pale face to turn scarlet.</p><p>“I do.” Edelgard smiled warmly. “And the fact that two of my most trusted allies have found happiness together is...” She shook her head, trying to dispel the image of Byleth’s blue hair from her mind. “Love is a precious, wonderful thing. I hope your relationship is not causing political-”</p><p>“Oh no!” Marianne shook her head. “I think the rumors would have bothered me, before I-” She smiled at the Emperor. “Before I met you and the Eagles. But I’m not going to listen to the whispers about my Crest, or my future, anymore. Besides, most of the Alliance believes my adoptive father arranged this, and he’s thrilled, but-“ She trailed off, worry clouding her features. “It’s just…it may have inspired Count Gloucester...” Edelgard stared at Marianne, completely nonplussed.</p><p>Ferdinand broke the silence. “One of the conditions that Count Gloucester is demanding is a politically advantageous marriage for his son. I have made your feelings on legacies and titles clear.” He coughed. “Regardless, he is…jealous of how upstart houses such as Ordelia and Edmund now threaten to eclipse his own status. He believes it is the Gloucester house’s divine destiny to rule, and if he joins us, he is demanding a union of comparable power and influence for Lorenz.”</p><p>Marianne sighed. “If our relationship is going to cause problems, Ferdinand and I are willing to-“</p><p>“No.” The Emperor crossed her arms petulantly. “I will not have you sacrifice your own happiness to satisfy the caprices of an old fool like Gloucester. The nobility has used Crests and the status they confer to hold this continent in bondage.” She nodded at Ferdinand. “You know my father was pursuing reforms to the barbaric Imperial consort system-I will not subject another person to those indignities.”</p><p>Ferdinand and Marianne nodded, both clearly relieved by Edelgard’s words.</p><p>A small hint of a smile crossed the Emperor’s lips. “Besides, Ingrid would murder me if I bartered one of my friends for political influence. I already have enough Faerghus nobles who wish to run me through with a lance.” She let out an awkward chuckle, rather pleased with her own dark humor.</p><p>Ferdinand shuffled back and forth. The poor noble apparently wished to be anywhere else in the world at that exact moment. “Well, it would not be your friends, exactly…”</p><p>Edelgard felt a chill crawl up her spine. “No.” She whispered. “You can’t seriously mean…”</p><p>Marianne nodded. “Yes…Count Gloucester is asking for a union between you and Lorenz.”</p><p>The stern, cold Emperor of Adrestia looked between the faces of her two close friends, waiting for a smile, a grin-something to hint that this was a joke. Neither Ferdinand or Marianne were known for their sense of humor, but that still seemed more understandable than…than…Lorenz?!</p><p>Edelgard felt herself begin to giggle, then chuckle, then double over with laughter. Edelgard had always preferred women, but to imagine…she remembered Dorothea comparing that strange, purple hair to a mop, and began to laugh even harder. Marianne and Ferdinand watched the Flame Emperor, unable to decide how to react to her outburst.</p><p>“No.” Edelgard shook her head, trying to recover. “I do not care how tenuous our standing becomes. I will not.” She pointed to Jeralt’s grave, and the flowers that rested on them. “Even if I did not love that man’s daughter with everything I am…even if I did not believe that she will one day return to us…” She crossed her arms. “The Church of Serios has insured that marriage and family is not about love, but about everything else-bloodlines, Crests, titles. A loveless marriage is an affront to everything I fight for.”</p><p>Ferdinand smiled warmly. “I am pleased to hear it, Edelgard, and I am sure you shall find a solution. You know that I only wish to keep you informed on how negotiations are proceeding.” He dug around in the satchel he carried with him. “Which reminds me, while conversing with Claude…he asked me to give you this.”</p><p>It was an old, tattered journal, along with a letter bearing the Riegan family crest. As Edelgard skimmed the pages, she quickly realized that this was Jeralt’s journal-the book that Claude had wheedled from Byleth that night, so many months ago. She quickly pocketed the book, eager to investigate it-and Claude’s correspondence-later.</p><p>“I must take my leave,” said Ferdinand with a deep bow. “Hubert is awaiting the coffee I got from a merchant in Derdriu.” He looked down at the gift with fondness. “It is an imported Almyran blend…Claude gave it his highest recommendation, and I believe it is in all of our interests to make Hubert’s mornings as pleasant as possible.”</p><p>As Ferdinand left with a jovial wave, Marianne loitered around the gravesite, seeming to sense Edelgard’s melancholy. As Edelgard found herself nervously adjusting the flowers that rested on Jeralt’s tombstone, Marianne softly reached out a hand.</p><p>“Edelgard, I wanted to ask…if…if you’d join us.” Her gentle grey eyes rested on the Flame Emperor. “Manuela and I…we’re having a service in the chapel…for St. Macuil’s Day. To remember everyone’s loved ones who have passed on. If you don’t, I understand. Most of the Strike Force is going to be there, and I can always tell being around the Cathedral is so hard for you…” She trailed off.</p><p>“The Professor isn’t dead,” snapped Edelgard, instantly regretting the harshness of her words as Marianne stared down at the mud and clay beneath her feet. She lightly touched Marianne’s shoulder, hoping that apology would be sufficient. “I’m sorry…and you’re right.” She looked up at the sky, perhaps wishing that she could hear Byleth’s voice. “Would it help morale if I was present?”</p><p>Marianne thought for a moment, before she nodded slowly.</p><p>The Flame Emperor stood, hands balled into fists to displace the tension and anxiety that now welled within.</p><p>“I will be there.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Upon her return to her room, Edelgard tore open the letter from Claude, completely unprepared for what lay inside. She had always found the boy insufferably inscrutable, and disliked his flippancy and callousness, yet…as she thought of the vulnerability in his sly, green eyes when he had asked her to take care of Lysithea and Marianne…</p><p>
  <em>Hey Princess,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Long time, no see. I gotta say, Ferdinand and Marianne are one hell of a team-who would have ever guessed? After the big speech Marianne gave at the last Alliance roundtable, I almost signed up with you myself! I can’t say I’ve ever looked good in red, though, so…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I do appreciate you keeping your promise. Marianne and Lysithea seem happy, and that’s all I can ask. I was genuinely sorry to hear about Teach. She was good for you. If the world had more people like her, maybe it wouldn’t need people like you and me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That night I accused you of stealing my classmates, I think we both had each other wrong. There’s things…I have to do. They go beyond simple questions of good or bad. I know I have to try to change the world, no matter what it takes. Just like you, I suppose. I guess that’s why we never could really compromise. It’s too personal for us both.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>By way of apology, here’s Jeralt’s diary that I got from Teach that night we argued. The old guy was frustratingly vague, but our dear Archbishop seems to have done something to Teach. A baby...I never realized what my limits were, but that’s it, I guess. Since you’re so nicely maintaining our old stomping grounds, I’d have Hubert dig around the basement. He’s a sharp guy, and Tomas, or whatever his actual name was, was always asking me to get down there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Listen, I don’t particularly like it, but you and I are both smart enough to know that history is written by the victors. And believe me, I intend to win. I have to make a world where even an outsider like me can find a place to belong…where creed and color and all those things…they just don’t matter anymore. For a long time, I thought a beautiful, elegant princess like you...well, you couldn’t possibly understand. But I read that manifesto…and I guess we’re not as different as I used to believe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What I’m saying is, whichever of us wins, let’s make sure we finish the job, okay? And have a feast with Marianne and Lysithea for me, for old time’s sake?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your humble rat-catcher,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Claude</em>
</p><p>Edelgard put Claude’s letter down, and slowly shook her head. As she wrote a note for Hubert to investigate Rhea’s chambers, she scoffed to herself. It was like she had thought before-the man was absolutely and completely impenetrable.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The bridge that led to the ruins of Garreg Mach Cathedral was filled with Imperial soldiers, clergy, and commoners. Despite Edelgard’s personal distaste, she had allowed the continued practice of the Seiros faith, untethered from the rigid institutionalism of the Church.</p><p>Her initial instinct had been to drive out those clergy that still lingered within the Empire’s borders-after all, the Southern Church had once attempted a bloody coup against Adrestia, and Edelgard had enough enemies lurking in the shadows. She knew there was good there, buried deep in the corruption and the lies, but it seemed impossible for the girl to ignore.</p><p>As part of her promise to Byleth, she had elaborated on these concerns to the Strike Force, choosing honesty and transparency even when every bit of her mind protested. Manuela and Marianne had given a spirited defense, withstanding many of Edelgard and Hubert’s objections, but the Flame Emperor remained unconvinced.</p><p>That is, until Linhardt had argued, with characteristic offhandedness, that the act of repressing the Church would divert time and attention that could be focused on the war effort. Instead, he proposed using the Imperial Church infrastructure to provide relief to those displaced by the nobility. As frustrating as she often found the young scholar, she was even more often impressed by the brilliance and straightforwardness of his reasoning.</p><p>He had been correct, and the fruits now surrounded the Emperor. The slums underneath Garreg Mach-shantytowns for those deemed unsuitable to walk in Fódlan's sun-had been liberated, and many of the downtrodden of the Abyss now walked alongside the clergy, in the light of day. It gave Edelgard great joy-in many ways, she had never escaped that darkness.</p><p>As she moved through the crowd, the Imperial ceremonial cape and crown resting upon her, she felt every eye linger. She kept her breathing steady, focused solely on the towering spires that lay ahead. The girl could hear the whispers-of praise and admiration, and not a little fear. This false face-this pretension of being some mighty, indomitable commander-only made the Flame Emperor miss her teacher all the more. Byleth knew who she truly was…understood that under the armor, there was a girl bound to this strange, lonely captivity. Byleth would have made some strange joke about her horned crown, or a gentle comment about how proud Ionius was, or simply held Edelgard in her strong, soft arms…</p><p>Goddess, she missed her so much.</p><p>“Edelgard.” The Emperor turned, and smiled at her personal guard. The knight always could tell when Edelgard’s melancholy proved too great. Ingrid reached out an arm, and rested it on her friend’s shoulder. “You’ll get through this. Do you want me and Hubert to sit with you?”</p><p>“No,” the Emperor shook her head. “I’ll wait outside, and quickly make a statement when the time comes. I don’t think either Hubert or I want to be in that building longer than is necessary.”</p><p>Ingrid nodded. “Then I’ll wait with you.”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “No…I think Sylvain needs you, even more than I do. We wouldn’t want this ceremony marred by any of his…proclivities…would we?”</p><p>“I believe keeping our resident jester on task would be wise, Ingrid.” Hubert inserted himself into the conversation. “Besides, do you not trust my ability to keep Lady Edelgard safe?” Once he had ascertained how deeply she cared for Edelgard, Hubert and Ingrid had developed an acerbic and unbreakable friendship, a bond founded on the loyalty that animated them both. He pushed an untidy black strand of hair out of his face, failing to hide his smile. “I have been in the business of protecting her for much longer than you, after all.”</p><p>Ingrid smirked. “Keep talking like that, and I’ll have my pegasus take you on a scenic flight around Garreg Mach-though I must say, watching the expression of pure terror on your face would be reward enough.” With a gentle wave, she found a seat next to Sylvain, and immediately began fussing over the disheveled state of his collar, and the numerous cowlicks in his fiery red hair.</p><p>Edelgard tried and failed to stifle a giggle at her compatriots’ banter, as she and Hubert found a quiet space outside the east entrance of the chapel. Edelgard could see the young children lighting candles, and the old women singing hymns, and not for the first time, she felt a deep sense of regret for what she was taking away from people like Manuela.</p><p>As the bells began to chime, Edelgard felt herself transporting back, to a childhood where the world made sense. These smells and sounds were from a different life…and they were memories of a different, better girl.</p><p>Manuela stood on the podium, and began the introductions with a gregarious and gentle introduction. Edelgard could only watch for a few moments before she felt herself retreating, unable to stand the sight any longer.</p><p>Hubert followed her wordlessly, at a loss for how to help soothe the turmoil in his liege’s soul. As Edelgard leaned against one of the stone walls, Hubert gave an awkward cough. “I used to be afraid, you know.”</p><p>Edelgard turned to him, lilac eyes full of confusion.</p><p>“Of being damned, I mean.” Hubert did not meet his childhood friend’s eye, instead choosing to watch Manuela’s arms remaining extended in prayer. “It was a world filled with demons and ghosts, where a failure to live up to the expectations of my father carried eternal weight.” He gave a wan smile. “Of course, after your…” he paused. “My fears became tethered to more…earthly concerns. After all, specters are much less frightening than what lies within the human heart.”</p><p>Edelgard had known this man for ages, and she still remained shocked by the tenderness that lay under that cold, polished exterior. He was trying to soothe her, the only way he knew how-words of cold, intellectual reassurance.</p><p>“Little Hubert shaking like a leaf. Now that’s a sight I’d love to see.”</p><p>Shamir leaned against a nearby wall, arms crossed with that familiar unflappable confidence. The hint of a smirk darted across her face with the speed of one of her arrows. “I suppose you both are feeling just as out of place as I am, huh?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “I must confess, I will never understand how you managed to avoid going mad as a Knight of Seiros. All those rituals and ceremonies…”</p><p>“Well,” Shamir turned and watched Manuela, who was now leading the congregation in a hymn. “At first, it was just about repaying a debt. The Archbishop saved my life. Nothing more, nothing less.” She paused, focusing on the ground for a brief instant. “…But when I became a knight, it started to seem like all the killing was for something more than a job.” She frowned. “But that was a lie, too.”</p><p>Edelgard rested her fingers on her lips for an instant, “I believe you are being too harsh on yourself. Byleth always spoke of you in the highest esteem.” Shamir raised her gaze, but did not speak. “She could have reached out to Alois, or Catherine, or even some of the students…but more than anyone, she wished to have you by her side.”</p><p>“And look where all that sentimentality got her, Edelgard.” Shamir frowned. “All I ended up with is another dead partner.”</p><p>“Then why do you stay? Why do you still fight for me, even when your friend is gone?”</p><p>Shamir froze, the sound of the Cathedral’s organ reverberating off the walls. The archer’s laconic face darted between Hubert and Edelgard, before she grinned.</p><p>“I’m a Dagdan and a heretic. She was…Byleth. Neither of us belonged, and yet that woman trusted me over and over, like it was the most natural thing in the world.” She nodded at the Emperor. “And all she ever told me was how you made her feel like she had a home, and a family. If you want to make a place for people like me and Byleth…” She smiled. “Maybe I found something to fight for after all.”</p><p>Hubert’s gentle tap on Edelgard’s shoulder disturbed her, and she turned to see Marianne von Edmund step onto the podium, and clear her throat. For a moment, there was a look of deep-set panic in the healer’s expression, before those kind grey eyes blazed with determination.</p><p>“Everyone, thank you for joining us. Manuela asked me to say a few words.” She reached her hand onto her shoulder, momentarily stopping it from shaking. “St. Macuil’s Day is a day to remember those we have lost. And this year, more than any other, that seems especially important. I…” the girl swallowed. “I lost my parents long ago, and for many years, I didn’t like St. Macuil’s Day. I didn’t want to remember, or think about why they were gone.”</p><p>The lectern hid Marianne’s legs from the sight of the public, but Edelgard’s viewpoint allowed her to see her trembling feet. Despite her fear, the training she had received from her adoptive father had begun to shape the girl into a gifted orator. Marianne paused, collected herself, and continued.</p><p>“But I was mistaken. These remembrances aren’t about us. It’s about thanking the people who guided us, even if they are no longer here. When I decided to fight alongside the Empire, I did it for many reasons, but first and foremost was to honor my mother and father. The Church of Seiros said that my Crest made me a monster…that my parents, my very bloodline, were tainted.”</p><p>Her hands gripped the side of the podium, pale skin turned even more pallid from the force.</p><p>“For years, I believed that I had done something dreadfully wrong. That my parents and I did not deserve the Goddess’ love-only Her judgement. That I needed to do something to earn a family, and friends, and all those wonderful things.” Marianne smiled, a girl fully at peace with herself. “But that’s not real love-love is given to everyone, no matter who they are, no matter where they are from. And that knowledge is why I fight for the Empire.”</p><p>She gestured to the side of the podium, and the Emperor hesitantly crept into view of the enraptured congregation. Marianne smiled warmly at her classmate and friend.</p><p>“My friends have allowed me to believe something different. Because of the Emperor, I now know I can hold my head high, and believe my parents and the Goddess are watching over me. This St. Macuil’s Day, for the first time, I’m going to thank them for my life, and take pride in the fact that I am their daughter.” She paused, before extending an arm to Edelgard. “Would you like to say a few words, Your Majesty?”</p><p>Edelgard had given numerous speeches and countless remarks since ascending to the mighty position she now held. The Flame Emperor was an unbreakable, unshakable wall of confidence…but as she stared at that lectern, she felt her throat go dry. Talking of the future was one thing-the plans and treaties and hundreds of other detached little principles that made up her life.</p><p>But this was talking about her. There was so much grief on the faces that stood before her-and the only path forward was to reveal a small piece of the pain and sorrow that she had carefully kept hidden for years. As took her place, and stared ahead, the words seemed beyond her. <em>Byleth</em>, the girl thought. <em>What should I do?</em></p><p>
  <em>This mercenary had been talking to Dimitri and Claude for so long. What had Edelgard done wrong? After that disaster with Kostas, she had dared to hope this woman a possible ally, and yet now that this…Byleth…was asked to interview each house leader, she had been summarily ignored.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was pointless, thought the Flame Emperor, filled with a vengeful, raw bitterness. What was she even trying to accomplish? Why should this woman be any different? No one would believe her. No one else had felt the knives or the chains or the rats. No words could express the hollowness that now lay within her. That void was the truth of the world, and ignoring that would only lead to-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Edelgard.” The tranquil, placid voice startled the Flame Emperor. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting so long. Claude and Dimitri insisted on describing each member of their houses.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was something so…unnatural about how calm the woman was. Still, Edelgard had seen her fight. She needed allies-tools, really. There was nothing the Flame Emperor would not do, no depths she would not sink in service of her goals. She was not meant to inspire, like that naïve fool Dimitri. Terrible power had its uses-and the girl that was once El had been turned into the most dreadful, powerful weapon of all.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard gave a slight bow, following the mechanical steps she always followed when trying to court an ally. A small bit of flattery, then a show of the logical advantages of her position. That usually fooled the-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth’s arm reached out, and gently touched the princess’ shoulder, causing Edelgard to startle at the contact. No one touched her like that.“Let’s sit at the table…I don’t like everyone staring at me.” For a moment, Byleth’s blank expression was marred by a quiet pain. All the logical pragmatism that surrounded El’s heart like armor melted at the familiar loneliness in the mercenary’s eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The words tumbled out of Edelgard before she knew what she was saying. “I always have eyes on me, as well...sometimes, I don’t feel like a human at all, but instead a strange creature for them to gawk at.” Edelgard finished the statement with a self-conscious titter. Instantly, the girl felt her insides twist into knots, as Byleth silently nodded. What was she doing? This woman was a mercenary, just another pawn, and now the Flame Emperor was giggling?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had to fix this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard encircled her hands on the table, tone business-like. “I am sure that Dimitri and Claude have told you about the strength of their houses…and I will freely admit that many of their students are particularly strong and skilled. However, many of my classmates will soon ascend to the highest positions in the Empire. I believe teaching the Black Eagles would offer an unparalleled opportunity to develop connections and influence.“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why do you talk like that?” Byleth stared at Edelgard with those piercing blue eyes, and the princess felt herself begin to wilt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I…I am not sure what you mean. I simply want to outline the benefits of teaching our class.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You don’t seem happy when you talk like that. You always seem like you’re…evaluating people.” The words were said with a child-like simplicity-one that cut through the immense weight of Edelgard’s rationalizations and schemes. The familiar melancholy returned to the mercenary’s face. “Are the people in the Black Eagles…your friends?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard felt her mind go blank, her mechanical, rigid logic thrown askew. All that slipped out was the truth. “I don’t know that I have any friends. I’ve known Hubert for a long time, but he’s my retainer. My position means the other students likely fear me more than anything.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“They fear you…” repeated Byleth to herself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“People mostly think me cold, distant, and arrogant. I suppose I have accepted that in the end, a leader’s path will be a lonely one.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth nodded, and thought for a moment. “Maybe you just need the right person to walk with you.” She stood, brushing off some invisible lint on her ornate black tights. “I think I know where I’m needed. Is there anything else you want to mention?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard could not stop herself, voice full of desperation, grasping to articulate her connection with this strange mercenary. “I never really thanked you...for saving me. I never expected anyone to..." Edelgard paused, and swallowed. "I don't know why I'm saying this…but I think... I think we may have similar personalities.” The girl’s last words lowered to a whisper, as she realized the full import of what she was saying. Edelgard was the enemy of the Church, a weapon meant to burn the gods. Byleth was clearly nothing like her. Would this woman unleash bandits on her classmates? Plot a bloody, terrible war? Allow her family to die, like a pathetic, frightened child?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth smiled for a moment, and returned her hand to Edelgard’s shoulder.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Everyone deserves help, Edelgard. I know you'd do the same for me.”</em>
</p><p>The Emperor laughed to herself. Byleth had seen right through her, from the moment they had met. Believed and trusted that there was something inside Edelgard worth saving. That was what mattered-not Edelgard’s fear, or her sins, or anything else. The leader found her voice.</p><p>“My feelings toward the faith are far from a secret. I have declared war on the Church of Seiros, and made myself an enemy of the Archbishop. Many may question why I now stand before you, in this holy, sacred place.” The Flame Emperor’s crown seemed unfathomably heavy. “I am here because each battle, each swing of my ax, is in memory of those I have lost. They too, deserve to be remembered. They too, deserve the Goddess’ love.”</p><p>She glanced at each mournful face in the crowd. “In the battle of Garreg Mach, and over the past year, we have lost so many. They have given their lives for the liberation of this continent, dying for what they believed in: a world where our worth does not depend on our blood, or our title, but in how much we are loved by those dear to us.”</p><p>Her eyes began to burn with that old flame, that passion that had driven her to survive the dungeons and the torture and the terrible realization that justice would never come-not unless Edelgard made this world fair with her own two hands.</p><p>“The Church of Seiros has not just controlled the heart of this continent-but our story. Our soul. They have told us who can be celebrated, and who can be condemned. Who among us is a savior king, and who is a forgotten leper.” She thought of Byleth’s eyes, and began to blink furiously. “My teacher at Garreg Mach is the wisest person I have ever known…but the greatest lesson she taught me is the dignity and worth that lies within us all. The story of Fódlan does not belong to the Church, but to you-the people!” She slammed her arm down on lectern, emotion overwhelming her.</p><p>Edelgard looked up at the great vaulted ceilings of the Cathedral, watching the light stream through the stained glass. A childish, romantic part of her wished that Byleth could hear her, wherever she was, and hoped that her teacher would be proud.</p><p>“This St. Macuil’s Day, I want you to think of those you treasure, and know their love protects you like armor. Carry their strength with you, and know that when you march into battle, you fight not just for yourself. You fight for all those who have gone before, hoping for a deliverance that never came. You fight for all those who will come after, that they may live in a new world where peace and freedom are each man’s birthright. Our fates are our own-and we will take them back!”</p><p>Edelgard felt dust begin to settle in her eyes, and quickly stepped out of the Cathedral, unable to wait and see the response her words had generated. Whatever the people’s thoughts…they had come from a place deep inside-a part of herself that El had once believed dead and gone. That Byleth had brought back. In the end, that was the most important truth of all.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The day after the ceremony, Edelgard had found time to have quiet tea with Hubert and Bernadetta. She had found her answer to Bernadetta’s question, but there were other, private reasons that Edelgard wished to talk to her two friends.</p><p>“Bernadetta…” Edelgard sipped her Bergamot tea with practiced, gentle ease. “I have given your question much thought, and I believe that you would be perfectly justified in killing your father. His cruelty and barbarism are unspeakable, even by the appalling standards of the Imperial nobility.”</p><p>Bernadetta nodded, the clanking of her teacup betraying her anxiety.</p><p>“However-“ Edelgard shook her head. “Here is my caution. If you wish to end your father’s life to exact justice upon him, and as recompense for his behavior-I support you, and will drive the sword through the man myself.” Edelgard leaned forward. “But if you are doing this to find peace…because you believe that his death will make the scars you carry vanish…it will not work.”</p><p>Bernadetta looked at Edelgard with confusion. “H-how will I know the difference?”</p><p>“This vengeance…it cannot be about personal satisfaction.” Edelgard stared forward. “If I had killed Duke Aegir, or your father…it would change nothing about the situation that led them to participate in such hideous atrocities. They would simply be replaced with another noble, and the cycle would continue indefinitely.”</p><p>“I don’t want anyone else to be like me,” muttered the archer with frightening force. “I want this to stop. That’s why Marianne and I support you, Your Ma- I mean, Edelgard. You understand.”</p><p>“Count Varley has taken so much from us both,” said Edelgard firmly. “We were both nothing but tools…fodder for his grand ambitions. He never thought of us as people at all. To see you leaving your room-living the life you deserved-that seems a greater and more powerful vengeance than any knife could provide.” She elbowed Hubert in the ribs. “Wouldn’t you agree, Hubert?”</p><p>“Yes, Lady Edelgard.” The young man tried to hide his blushing face behind his coffee mug. “If I may be candid, I believe you are much too harsh on yourself, Lady Bernadetta,” said Hubert, quietly sipping Ferdinand’s coffee. “Bravery takes many forms. You have the peculiar ability to find the beauty in things that others have scorned…from venomous plants to-” He caught himself, and adjusted the flower on his lapel. “I would not trade the woman that stands before me for any of the foppish, obscene nobles of the Empire.”</p><p>Bernadetta covered her face in her hands, overwhelmed at Hubert’s words. After a few moments, she grasped the assassin's arm in her hand, and smiled warmly. “T-thanks, Hubert…” For a few seconds, Bernadetta seemed to be fighting a desperate, painful interior battle, before she leapt across the table to kiss a mortified Hubert. As the full import of what she had done fully struck the Adrestian noble, she gasped. “Stupid Bernie! What are you doing? Now you’ve gone and ruined…”</p><p>Hubert sat silently, trying to process what had just occurred, before quickly glancing at Edelgard’s smiling face. “I…but…I am…” Hubert leaned toward Bernadetta. “But are you not…afraid of me? You have seen the type of person I am…you know what I have done. My hands are just as reddened as your father’s…”</p><p>Bernadetta shook her head. “You’re nothing like my dad…he…he hurt people that are weaker than him…everything you do is about protecting Lady Edelgard…and making her safe.”</p><p>"Not just Lady Edelgard..."</p><p>Hubert’s expression lit up with a grin, the face of the gentle, shy friend that El once had before a cruel world hardened them both. It was the same look he had when confiding his dream of riding a pegasus to the young princess. Edelgard looked away, as a strange buoyancy in her chest seemed to overwhelm her.</p><p>Hubert attempted to reassume control. “I...there was another piece of business you wished to discuss, Your Majesty? I would like to…discuss…the day’s developments with-“ he gestured to Bernadetta.</p><p>Edelgard waved her hand. “It is a minor detail, Bernadetta…I simply wish to thank you. Your words the other day have caused me to rethink my own attitude toward the Archbishop. I have only seen a single path-one that leads to the death of either Rhea or myself.” She shook her head, as she thought of Claude’s letter, and of how Byleth had reached out a hand to a girl who did not deserve mercy. “The past few days have challenged that idea, and I would not be living up to my teacher’s example if I did not attempt to forge a new destiny, small a chance as it may be.”</p><p>Hubert edged forward. “Do you mean to-“</p><p>“Yes, we will hold meetings with Faerghus and the Church of Seiros…one last time. I will <em>not</em> compromise…I swear on the graves of my family.” Edelgard shot to her feet. “But I must look my enemies in the eye, and see if there is another way I have not considered. One where the Church is uprooted by pen, and not by sword…and the Archbishop is stripped of power.” Her voice became quiet. “I need to prove to myself, and to Byleth…that this is not about vengeance, but building a better world.”</p><p>Hubert gave a brisk nod. “I will alert our diplomats. You are aware that many in the nobility, and our allies will be…unhappy with this development?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor thought of her teacher, and all those she had lost, and the answer came to her lips.</p><p>“The greatest gift of my life was the moment my teacher showed me mercy, and reached for my hand…” Edelgard smiled at the blue sky above. “If I refused to do the same, how could I dare to call myself her student?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One of the most interesting little examples of El's growth in the game is how she goes from telling Byleth that her path "leads to the death of the Archbishop" pre-timeskip, to asking Rhea to surrender, and even telling Byleth she'd prefer it if Rhea could step down and be stripped of power (this shows up in one of the questions she asks Byleth during the "lesson" period after the time-skip). I wanted to show that transition, while giving us a chance to have a CF version of the AM talk between Dimitri and Edelgard.</p><p>It also dovetailed nicely with giving Marianne and Bernie a bit of a spotlight. I really appreciate how Bernie and Marianne both thrive in Edelgard's route. Bernadetta leaves her room, obviously, and Marianne's ending with Byleth and Ferdinand in CF both show her becoming a shrewd politician under her adoptive father (other endings say that "few people understood her influence on her husband"-more points for CF as the feminist route, am I right?). What I love about all these characters in CF (and Ingrid, and Dorothea, and Lysithea...) is how much of CF is dedicated to the idea of overcoming systemic abuse and trauma-and we *see* the results in the character's endings.</p><p>I also have to say this as a huge Shakespeare buff...the next time somebody tells you the writers "weren't that smart" or some such nonsense, point out that the Alliance's ruling houses are all given thematically appropriate names matching characters from King Lear, a play all about succession and dysfunctional nobility: Riegan and Goneril, like Claude and Hilda, are skilled schemers and adept at the use of flattery, Margrave Edmund is an upstart, renowned for his cunning, Gloucester is obsessed with status, and Cordelia/Ordelia go through tremendous, unearned suffering. Pretty neat.</p><p>I'll see you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Year Two: Our Chosen Paths</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The battle was pointless-the Emperor knew it herself. After months of negotiations, of veiled threats and promises and cajoling, there had finally been an agreement to meet in Alliance territory-to settle the grievances that had set the continent aflame.</p><p>The problem was that until there was peace, there would still be war. Messengers could only travel so fast, and if Edelgard’s intuition was correct, no one truly believed that conflict could be avoided-not now. It would be a betrayal of cherished ideals…and the anger and bitterness that lay underneath those principles. It was unfortunate, and tragic, and oh so human.</p><p>And that was why Edelgard’s ax had come down on this Kingdom soldier’s head.</p><p>The Kingdom had overextended itself, a quixotic strike on Fort Merceus the culmination of months of assaults on Imperial territory. The Stubborn Old General had easily repelled the invaders, but the scars lingered. It has led to much debate in Imperial leadership over who now truly commanded Faerghus. However, the conspicuous absence of the Knights of Seiros made Edelgard believe that it had more to do with King Dimitri’s desire for vengeance than any attempt at military strategy.</p><p>With the Kingdom on its heels, the Emperor and her advisors had sensed an opportunity-a chance to push into House Rowe’s territory, and increase her bargaining power at the upcoming parleys. Of course, those was the honeyed rationalizations covering up the true cost-the blood that would spill for each outpost the Empire and Kingdom fought and clawed over.</p><p>The nameless fort here was less a stronghold, and more of a shack, but that did not stop the ferocity of the battle. As Edelgard looked around at the familiar pines, and the grey sky that seemed determined to block all light, she felt a longing for the swooping arches and soothing breeze of Enbarr. There was a light snow covering the ground-cold enough to create a dull ache on Edelgard’s childhood scars, but not enough to impede her cavalry. Still, its complicating presence insured that Edelgard would utilize the full might of the Black Eagle Strike Force.</p><p>With their numerous responsibilities, it was rare for the Strike Force to all fight together, but this was not just a battle-this was a show of force, a demonstration of the power of the Empire. As Edelgard pulled her weapon out of the body beneath her feet, even she was staggered by the display of dominance she was witnessing.</p><p>Ferdinand and Sylvain careened from enemy to enemy, the brief flash of a lance the only warning of their strikes. Soldiers fell, one after another, as the two cavalry spearmen cut great gashes in the enemy’s line. The two men fought with such contrast-as Ferdinand galloped through the battle, his long hair flowing behind him, each swing of his weapon had all the refinement of a dancer. Each motion was undertaken with practiced, careful grace, the reward of endless years of noble refinement and training.</p><p>Sylvain, meanwhile, relinquished all the blasé charm he wore around Garreg Mach. As he stabbed and lunged, each brutal strike was animated by a terrifying and immense anger-as if each enemy soldier was the personification of a dreadful injustice that had burrowed deep within the man’s chest. When he conjured dark magic, he violently flung the spells, releasing a terrible poison. Edelgard cared for Sylvain deeply, and appreciated his fury like few others could…but it gave even the Flame Emperor pause.</p><p>Before the Kingdom’s front line had an opportunity to recover from the blows, they were followed by a rain of arrows and light magic, as Bernadetta and Marianne followed closely behind the vanguard. Byleth had encouraged both women to learn to fight on horseback, and the results now bore fruit.</p><p>Marianne fought with sword and faith magic, her white armor a fitting counterpart to Sylvain’s pitch-black mail. There was a tranquility and inner serenity to each movement, marking Marianne as the arbiter of a greater destiny only she could hear. The girl who had once struggled for purpose now fought for Edelgard’s dream with unswerving resolve, a protective guardian beloved by the footsoldiers of the Empire.</p><p>Just as Marianne’s inner light was now visible, Bernadetta’s every action was infused with a new hope and determination. Ever since Edelgard’s purge of the corrupt nobility of the Empire, Bernadetta had fought with complete loyalty to the Flame Emperor. Each strike of her arrow was animated by this new-found freedom, a fire that Edelgard understood all too well.</p><p>The bulky armored knights were one of the few forces to withstand the initial assault, until explosions of dark magic battered the immobile enemy. Edelgard had lost her siblings long ago, and her memories were always tainted with the guilt of a survivor, but these two mages…it brought back feelings she never believed she would feel again. Pride, and protectiveness, and an intimacy that warmed the Flame Emperor’s heart. However, where Edelgard felt love, the Kingdom soldiers only felt fear. There were few sights that inspired greater terror in the enemy forces than the sight of Hubert and Lysithea extending their arms.</p><p>Lysithea’s years of study had honed her into a mage of unparalleled skill, both light and dark magic at her command. The girl floated above the earth, her white hair and skin giving her an eerie, ethereal glow. Yet all the seeming fragility of her waiflike body hid an immense and terrifying destructive power. Her spells violently erupted out of her, her body no longer containing that frightening energy. Lysithea was perhaps the truest believer in Edelgard’s cause-the unbreakable bond of faith and loyalty between the two women animating every spell and hex.</p><p>Of course, there was another dark mage with an unshakable devotion to Edelgard; Hubert did not have Lysithea’s immeasurable strength, but he compensated with cunning. Where her spells were an explosion, Hubert’s shimmered and weaved, dancing in the air as though Hubert were the conductor of a strange and vicious symphony. His control had only improved over the past few years, and though Edelgard knew he would never admit it, there was a new inner calm to her old friend-one that had only arisen after the realization he and Edelgard would not fight alone.</p><p>A few of the Kingdom soldiers prepared to launch a counterattack, concealed in the nearby line of trees, but after only a few short volleys, the attacks were cut off. A keen observer could see the occasional glint of a dagger or knife, sometimes followed by a terrifying scream. Within a few moments, the deed was done, and Petra and Kronya both made their way into view.</p><p>Petra had taken to wearing the traditional clothing of her people, after Edelgard’s declaration that Petra was no longer a captive, but instead a visiting general from Brigid. If not for the frigid weather, the traditional tattoos of her people would be proudly displayed on her body, an outward sign of where Petra’s allegiance and heart truly lay. It marked a new understanding between the two rulers, a necessary honesty that replaced their old awkward relationship.</p><p>If Petra had embraced her heritage, Kronya now appeared eager to cast aside any remnants of her past. Her once inhumanly pale skin was now similar to her comrades, and she wore the basic uniform of an Imperial thief. The tattoos under her eye were now covered by a simple black eyepatch, all under long, untidy orange hair. It felt like a penance. As she spent time among the Eagles, for the first time feeling the humanizing bonds of friendship and trust, the assassin began to realize the true weight of her sins. Her once bubbly personality was now prone to fits of melancholy, counterbalanced by a devotion to Edelgard and Byleth-the women who had allowed her to be more.</p><p>“Hey, I could use a little help!”</p><p>Caspar’s yelp caught the Eagles’ attention, as the armored knight took on the commander of the Faerghus troops. Whatever the conditions of battle, it was a constant-Caspar bursting a hole through the heart of the enemy forces, fighting with all the stubbornness and tenacity that had once exasperated the Flame Emperor. Each battle, he seemed determined to fulfill the promise he had made to Edelgard back as students-he would cut a path for her to follow.</p><p>A small tut of disapproval was the only warning for the barrage of light magic that engulfed the enemy commander. There were few things that could outweigh Linhardt’s antipathy for blood, but a threat to one of his friends-particularly Caspar or Lysithea-always provoked a strong response from the normally reserved mage. Though they hid their mutual respect under constant quarreling, Linhardt and Edelgard’s desire for a society based on logic and merit animated them both.</p><p>The barrage of spells was joined by the destructive force of one of Dorothea’s Meteors. The singer had been providing aid to a few wounded soldiers on the Empire’s back line, but that did not stop the mage from raining death from the skies. Each battle, Edelgard could see the terrible inner conflict play out on her friend’s face-the sorrow and horror of war, balanced against her resolve to build a better future. There were few sights that filled Edelgard with more guilt.</p><p>As their spells dissipated, the Kingdom general fell to his knees, his forces devastated. The man grasped his spear, trying to remain upright despite what appeared to be a damaged lung. Edelgard made her way forward, and extended an arm to the man.</p><p>“You have fought bravely, but your forces were overmatched. Concede, and I promise you and your men will be treated with respect.”</p><p>The man’s face-weathered from a lifetime of harsh, endless winters-filled with disgust.</p><p>“I wish only to die with honor. I refuse to surrender to the false Emperor, the partner of traitors and monsters.”</p><p>Edelgard’s hand remained extended, as the harsh winter breeze blew across the desolate tundra. The Flame Emperor heard a motion behind her, and caught the briefest glint of blond hair in her peripheral vision.</p><p>“You served with Lord Gwendal, didn’t you? I recognize the face.” Ingrid nodded calmly, avoiding Edelgard’s eyes. “You have done your family and lord a great service. There is no need to prove yourself any further. Your honor has been more than satisfied today. ”</p><p>The man glared up at the pegasus knight, before an unbridled, bitter laugh exploded out of him. After a few seconds, he could no longer tolerate the pain it caused in his damaged lung, and returned to glaring at Ingrid.</p><p>“You <em>dare </em>to speak of honor? The blood of Faerghus flows in your veins, and yet you sided against your people, your king, and even the Goddess herself.” The man’s eyes blazed with rage. “I remember you…the awkward girl flitting around the Prince, squawking about her future as a knight.” He gave Ingrid a malicious smile. “Do you know what they call you now, deserter?”</p><p>Edelgard tried to step in front of Ingrid, as if her body could shield the girl from the man’s voice. Whether out of duty to the woman she was tasked to protect, or pain at her opponent’s words, Ingrid refused to allow it. She straightened her posture, waiting for the sword to fall.</p><p>“The traitor knight…” whispered the soldier, his face contorted with spite. “…The sham Emperor’s pet wench.”</p><p>Ingrid lowered her head, a momentary shimmer in her green eyes the only outward sign of the girl’s turmoil. Enraged, Edelgard grabbed the man by the collar. The Emperor tried desperately to think of her teacher’s face, a talisman to ward off the righteous vengeance she wanted to exact.</p><p>“Hey, you two, why don’t you let me have a go…”</p><p>Sylvain’s hand gently touched Edelgard’s, and the girl under the horned crown released her grip. The cavalier’s smile had become fixed, unsettling in its artificiality. He leaned forward, seemingly holding a conversation with himself.</p><p>“You know, buddy, I’ve never really admitted this, but I’ve always admired Ingrid. Oh, it’s not just because she’s watched out for me my entire life…” He shook his head vigorously. “She’s talented, and dedicated, and a way better person than I could ever dream of being.”</p><p>For a brief instant, all the false flippancy melted away, and he smiled at Ingrid and Edelgard with a fondness and vulnerability that rendered him almost unrecognizable. He turned back to the enemy general, and all that gentleness vanished.</p><p>“But the greatest thing about her is that she cares about what everyone thinks, even the nobles from Faerghus. She wants to be honorable, and moral, and righteous. She’s everything that’s good about my country.”</p><p>Sylvain reached out his arm, his expression never wavering, and rested it on the Kingdom general’s shoulder.</p><p>“And that’s the difference between us. I never cared for any of that honor garbage, or what anyone thought about me, or being good. I know what I am-I’m everything that’s wrong with Faerghus. The only thing a knave like me could do was look out for my friends, because I didn’t deserve them. So, let me make something perfectly clear.”</p><p>He began to squeeze the man’s shoulder, causing the man to wince in pain. Sylvain intensified the force, still smiling that chilling, insincere smile.</p><p>“If I <em>ever </em>hear you talk about Ingrid or Edelgard like that again, I’ll gut you. Not with my relic, but with my bare hands, and afterwards, I’ll leave your corpse for the vultures to pick at. And unlike Edelgard or Ingrid, I’ll sleep like a baby afterwards. How’s that for a vow?”</p><p>He stood and gave the man a comforting slap on the shoulder, each movement casual and free. The Kingdom general pulled out his sword, and hastily presented it to the Adrestian Emperor. However, even then, Sylvain pointedly refused to meet his friends’ eyes, remaining focused on his former countryman.</p><p>“Good. I’m glad we understand each other.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Despite the success of the mission, the return back to Garreg Mach had been somber. Edelgard would love to have blamed the weather or the travel, but she knew the reason for the exhaustion and sadness on her friend’s faces-it was the ongoing toll of her war.</p><p>Edelgard and Hubert had spent years preparing themselves for the terrible cost of their actions, but her friends? They had joined in the chaos and uncertainty following the Holy Tomb, and despite the Strike Force’s friendship and reassurances, the Flame Emperor could not help but wonder if they regretted their choice. It was yet another whisper that taunted her in the dead of night.</p><p>As they made their way through the front gates, covered in mud and dirt, the girl turned to Ingrid, who was staring into the distance.</p><p>“Will you be all right?”</p><p>The knight nodded, and a genuine smile crossed her severe features. “Of course.” Ingrid and Edelgard both chose to ignore the obvious lie. “You know I’ve been called worse…it’s just, with the parley coming up, and the thought of seeing Dimitri, Felix and everyone else from Faerghus…” She paused, struggling to find the words. “I can’t help but think of the Professor, and you, and the Lonato mission.”</p><p>“The one where you called me a ‘smug, egotistic noble,’ and we nearly murdered each other?” As Edelgard and Ingrid began to laugh, the Flame Emperor hid her anxiety behind a confident exterior. “I hope you do not have any regrets as to your…choices.”</p><p>Ingrid turned away for a moment, busying herself with the inanities of returning her pegasus to the stables. As she waited for a response, Edelgard placed her hands behind her back, trying to hide that old nervous habit of fiddling with her gloves. She was the Emperor of Adrestia, after all…</p><p>“You still worry I’m going to go back, don’t you? Even now.”</p><p>Ingrid finally turned back to Edelgard, and slowly and sadly shook her head. The commander of the Emperor’s personal guard pulled out a carrot, and began to gently reassure her steed, showing a gentleness that few outside the Strike Force were allowed to witness.</p><p>“Sylvain was wrong-when he said I was the best of Faerghus, I mean. He’s always had the courage to ignore other people, to do what he wanted and damn the consequences. He never accepted Faerghus’ stance toward Sreng or Duscur…I’ve never been that strong. For years, I’ve envied <em>him</em>.”</p><p>“Perhaps you should tell him.”</p><p>Ingrid shook her head. “He’d just laugh it off, the way he does everything else I say.” The woman’s face turned red, and became fixed on the floor of the stables. After a few awkward moments, she looked up, and attempted to redirect the conversation. “My point is…I don’t fight for country, or loyalty anymore. I fight for what I believe in. And that’s you, Edelgard.”</p><p>It was now the Emperor’s turn to be consumed by embarrassment, and she fruitlessly searched for words to communicate what Ingrid’s belief meant. She was only able to articulate a simple question.</p><p>“What changed?”</p><p>The pegasus knight shook her head, and gave a knowing smile.</p><p>“Felix and I used to argue-well, argue more than normal-about an ethical dilemma I read in a book of battle scenarios. It asked if a commander gave an order that put your hometown in danger, would you follow the unjust order, or protect those you love? You can probably guess our stances.”</p><p>Edelgard let out a soft laugh, and began to run her hands through the nearby horse’s mane, trying to soothe the private nervousness that weighted down her chest.</p><p>“I imagine your response included some variation on the phrase ‘the honor of knighthood’.”</p><p>Ingrid let out an indecorous snort, and nodded.</p><p>“And now look where we are. Felix fights for the royal family, when he despises chivalry with every bit of his being, while I…”</p><p>The pegasus knight gazed into the middle distance.</p><p>“That day in the tomb, when the Archbishop told Professor Byleth to execute you, I was lost. I didn’t want to kill my best friend, but I felt…I felt I had no choice. It was my duty to my country, and to the royal family. Professor Byleth showed me there could be a different path-she followed her heart. Not heeding the commands of the Church or her station. And I will follow her example. No matter the outcome, no matter the circumstance, I will believe in myself, and protect the people I care for.”</p><p>Edelgard’s mind fell back to the visions she had seen for so long, the hurt and betrayal in the eyes of her friends. It was a path she had believed was inevitable-one that had seemed as inescapable as her next breath. She, like Ingrid, would prove the world wrong-Byleth may not have been the Goddess, but her faith steeled the Flame Emperor’s heart. Perhaps that was all any of the Black Eagles had needed.</p><p>Ingrid rested her head against her hands, trying to find an inner calm that refused to come.</p><p>“I think about who I would have been, Edelgard, and it terrifies me. Even now, so much of who I am <em>is </em>Faerghus. I still flinch when I see someone from Duscur, and each time, I hate myself a little more. It’s the part of me that wants to die in a blaze of glory, or follow orders, no matter how unjust. And if I hadn’t joined you on that mission…I think it would have swallowed me whole.”</p><p>Ingrid shook her head, and neither the Adrestian Emperor nor her general could find the words to communicate their feelings. Casting aside her doubts, Edelgard’s gloved hand rested on the knight’s shoulder, forcing a melancholy smile out of Ingrid. Edelgard swallowed.</p><p>“I know who <em>I</em> would have been…without you, and the Professor, and everyone else. I’ve seen it, Ingrid, and it will haunt me for the rest of my days. I was everything the people who created me wished-a weapon, a monster who had discarded her humanity…”</p><p>Ingrid reached out, and grasped the Emperor’s hand. Like Edelgard’s own, it was marred with calluses from a lifetime of training-from the desperate struggle to carve a destiny free from what the world desired. And yet underneath, there was a surprising softness.</p><p>“I’d…I’d given up on having someone who listened, before I met you. Maybe this wasn’t what was supposed to happen, maybe it’s selfish, but I don’t care. We need each other, and I’m staying with you until the end, Edelgard, even if I have to drag your obstinate, stubborn-“</p><p>“I must warn you…” said the Emperor, barely able to contain her grin. “The punishments for disrespecting the throne are quite severe, my knight.” She smiled, and clasped Ingrid’s hand firmly. “Together. Until the end.”</p><p>“Your Majesty!” A panicked voice startled the two women. The stable door flew on its hinges, and an Imperial officer stood in the vestibule, exertion outweighing the nervousness Edegard’s status inspired. “We need you, immediately!”</p><p>Ingrid snapped to attention, Lúin at the ready. “What is it? What’s happened?”</p><p>“It’s Count Vestra…he’s been attacked.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The training yard was in disarray when the Emperor and Ingrid arrived. The pegasus knight immediately went to interview the guards, to determine how such an immense breach in security had occurred. Meanwhile, Edelgard had only one person on her mind. Hubert stood, unflappable as ever, conversing with Jeritza and Shamir as if his life had not just been put in mortal danger. There was no mark on his person, but that did not prevent El from rushing to her friend and beginning to fret over him.</p><p>“Hubert…are you-”</p><p>Shamir crossed her arms and snorted. “It’ll take a lot worse than that to take out that fool. Didn’t even ruffle his cape, thanks to Kronya and Jeritza.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor looked around in confusion. “Kronya? What happened?”</p><p>Hubert shook his head. “We have an infiltrator. I believe that…certain parties may not have taken kindly to my investigations, and used a proxy to make an attempt on my life. Kronya took the blow for me, and Jeritza…”</p><p>The hulking man did not smile or change his expression. “It was through Her Majesty’s grace that I was given a new purpose…and new hunting grounds. The man was simple prey.”</p><p>Edelgard tried to ignore the guilt she felt for using this broken man in service of her goals. She tried to convince herself that she was offering him a purpose and place after the horrors of his childhood, but the words rang hollow.</p><p>“Don’t be so modest.” Shamir shook her head, somehow able to ignore the disturbing tenor of Jeritza’s speech. “You launched a spear into the man’s shoulder from across the training yard. It was good work.” Ignoring the new-found embarrassment on Jeritza’s face, she turned to the Emperor.</p><p>“Before I forget, while the Strike Force was away, Jeritza and I were investigating the Abyss and Church ruins, at your and Hubert’s request. Got a tip from a monk named Aelfric, and we found some of those documents you wanted for the meeting. We ran into a bit of trouble with a couple of those golems, but…”</p><p>Jeritza’s eyes blazed with an inhuman fire. “They did nothing to satisfy me…it was merely the incessant swatting of a few meager flies. I crave more. I need more.”</p><p>“Play nice, or I’ll tell the guards about your ice cream obsession.” Shamir gave the Emperor a confident smirk. “Besides…that efficiency is why you keep us around, right?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “Fine work, both of you. I’ll be in touch soon for your next mission.”</p><p>When Edelgard made her way to Kronya, the Agarthian was resting against the wall of the training yard, fidgeting as Manuela attempted to heal her. When she saw Edelgard, her face lit up.</p><p>“Hey, Edel! Did I do good?“<br/>
<br/>
Manuela scoffed, as she fussed over the girl. “I don’t believe any of us would call you taking a knife through your shoulder a good thing, dear.”</p><p>Edelgard could see the eagerness in Kronya’s eye, the naked desperation to prove herself useful. The Emperor knelt, thinking of the Church, and Faerghus, and how this cruel world fashioned people into tools. Just as she had used Jeritza. Just as she had been used herself. The Flame Emperor’s twin Crests had insured that whatever else El wished to be, her worth would come on the battlefield-through the blood and torment that she would cause.</p><p>“Kronya…” the Emperor sighed. “I made a promise to our Professor that when she returned, each of the Black Eagles would be safe. That includes you, despite what you may believe.”</p><p>The words hit home, and the assassin began to rock back and forth with nervous energy.</p><p>“I get it, Edel, but after what I've done, no one would really care if I-“</p><p>“Hey, you all right? She’s going to be fine, right, Manuela?”</p><p>Caspar burst into view, the boy awkwardly hovering around the healer. Manuela did not even raise her head, but a knowing smirk appeared on her face, and she winked at Edelgard.</p><p>“It appears you have at least one person worried for you.” The beam of white light emanating from the healer vanished, and she looked up at Kronya and smiled. “You’ll need to rest your arm for a day or two, but you should be good as new.” The Agarthian appeared almost disappointed with the news.</p><p>Caspar began to fume. “Where’s this guy that attacked her, anyway? I got a few things I’d like to say to him…”</p><p>Hubert seemed to preternaturally sense Caspar’s complaint, dragging a disheveled, yet strangely familiar man before the Emperor. There was something familiar in the tint of his red hair, but the desperation and despair that now animated his body proved too distracting. Hubert shook the man, eliciting a yelp of pain.</p><p>“I’m sorry…I’m sorry! They told me they’d give her back, if I just killed-“ His body began to spasm from the misery that now consumed him, and as Edelgard realized why the man was so familiar, she felt her heart begin to sink.</p><p>“Baron Ochs,” muttered the Emperor. “I had heard of an incident at the black market in Enbarr…but afterwards, you vanished.” She turned to Hubert. “Release him. He is not a threat.”</p><p>With evident dissatisfaction, Hubert wordlessly complied. Baron Ochs grasped onto the Emperor’s robes. “Please, I don’t care what happens to me, but you have to help me find my Monica! After those false rumors, I’ve begged and pleaded to the Goddess, spent my entire fortune, please! I’ll do whatever you ask!”</p><p>Kronya stepped forward, and as all the color drained out of her face, she resembled the inhuman fiend she had once been. Her shoulders began to shake.</p><p>“You’re…Monica’s father?” When the man wordlessly nodded, Kronya clenched her fist, and turned away. “I’m sorry. They lied to you. Monica is…gone.”</p><p>“No!” Baron Ochs wobbled for a moment, before falling to his knees. “How can you know that? How can you be sure she’s-“<br/>
<br/>
Kronya sighed, and with a slow, hesitant snap of her fingers, her appearance changed back to the girl who had once tormented Edelgard’s every waking moment. “I know because I pretended to be your daughter for months. I watched them-” She turned away, unable to look him in the eyes a moment longer. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>The assassin raised her hand to dispel the illusion, but Baron Ochs grabbed the girl’s arm. “Please…” he gasped. “I know it’s not real, but…” he silently ran his hand through the red hair of the girl, tears falling from his face. He grabbed onto a horrified Kronya and began to weep. “I’m so sorry, Monica, I’m sorry I couldn’t…” The man’s voice lost all lucidity.</p><p>Edelgard watched the scene with a mixture of horror and anger, both at the fiends who had destroyed this man’s life, and at her own culpability in this family tragedy. Byleth had believed in her, but that did not counterbalance the immense weight of the Flame Emperor’s sins-even those of inaction. Making up for these evils, too, must be part of Edelgard’s vow to be better.</p><p>“Hubert.” Edelgard turned to her retainer. “Ensure that Baron Ochs is given comfortable room and board. I am sure he will be willing to help us with our problem, when he is able. Certainly, you and I can appreciate a man forced to be complicit with such outrages.” The Flame Emperor glanced at Kronya, who was staring at something Edelgard could not see. “If you would like to-“</p><p>“No.” Kronya’s false face hardened, as she glanced at Caspar and Edelgard. “I deserve this. When I was being…created by Thales…I was told I had to kill the Fell Star, and any who got in my master’s way. It my entire purpose-to destroy the great undying beast, and yet-” She shook her head. “The Fell Star believed in me. Trusted me. Became my friend. The great nemesis of my people cared more about me than the man who created me.” She turned to Baron Ochs. “I can never make up for what I’ve done, or taken from you and Monica. But I promise you-I will make them pay, for her sake.”</p><p>Baron Ochs looked at woman now wearing his daughter’s face, a great internal conflict playing out on his haggard features. Finally, he slowly and hesitantly extended his hand. “I’d like to tell you about her. So someone else knows what she was like.” His voice lowered to a whisper. “So she isn’t forgotten.”</p><p>Kronya ignored Caspar’s gaze, and took the man’s arm, guiding his faltering steps toward the dormitories. “I’d like that.”</p><p>A few days later, as Edelgard was enmeshed in the documents that Shamir and Jeritza had obtained, a knock came on her door, followed by Dorothea’s soothing lilt.</p><p>“Edie…Strike Force meeting!”</p><p>As Edelgard groaned and stretched, a cacophony of cracks and pops in her joints were the reward for hours of immobility. Dorothea marched into the room, and began to waggle her finger at her dear friend.</p><p>“This is important, Edie! No excuses and no complaints!”</p><p>Edelgard shoved her materials aside and smiled.</p><p>“Between you, Ingrid and Hubert, I’m never going to have a moment to myself again, am I?”</p><p>Dorothea wrapped her arm around the Emperor, and for a moment, Edelgard felt herself shiver at the rare instance of human contact. Without Byleth…the Flame Emperor had tried so desperately to be strong, and yet the diva seemed to innately sense what Edelgard needed-all the immense loneliness under the girl’s confident façade.</p><p>“That’s the idea!” she giggled. “Gives you less time to brood, anyways.”</p><p>They meandered a slow winding path to the old Black Eagle classroom, where the Strike Force always went when privacy was desired. Dorothea distracted the Emperor of Adrestia with lighthearted gossip and tales of her latest adventures with Petra. Edelgard felt a profound sense of gratitude, so overwhelming that it seemed beyond the power of words to describe.</p><p>The rest of the Strike Force was already waiting, many with expressions of confusion on their faces.</p><p>“What is this about?” grumbled Lysithea, arms folded. “Linhardt and I are making important headway on a mechanism for negating Crest-“</p><p>“Yeah!” interrupted Caspar with a bark. “And where’s Kronya?”</p><p>Dorothea looked at Caspar for a moment, trying to hide the amusement she so clearly felt. She looked around at the assembled Black Eagles and smiled. “After the incident the other day, Manuela approached me about giving Kronya…a fresh start. She was reluctant, but after a bit of convincing, and some help from Petra…”</p><p>She gestured to the door. “You can come out now, dear.”</p><p>A woman walked through the door, hand massaging her shoulder. Her black eyepatch was the only way to recognize that this was the same woman as the Agarthian’s giggling assassin. Her long orange hair was now tied back in a ponytail, bangs no longer covering her forehead. Along with the new color of her skin, it gave her once chaotic features a more healthy, friendly appearance.</p><p>Her loose black tunic, shorts and long boots were complemented by a dark crimson belt, the colors marking her allegiance to the Empire. Her dagger rested in a sheath at her side, and a turquoise cape on her shoulders. She looked at her classmates, and smiled. Not the demented, psychotic grin of a killer, but of a woman among friends.</p><p>“Hi, everyone.” She gave an awkward wave. “I didn’t think we needed to do this, but Dorothea insisted-“</p><p>She was interrupted by a long whistle from Sylvain, which only stopped when Ingrid stomped on the cavalier’s foot.</p><p>Ignoring the Faerghus noble, Kronya turned to her friends. “I’d like to ask one more thing. Kronya is the name my people gave me-when they created me to kill for them. They never cared about me, and it isn’t who I want to be anymore. You’re my family.” She rubbed her shoulder. “I talked to Baron Ochs, and asked if I could…so she won’t be forgotten…” For a moment, she stared at the floor. “Call me Monica.”</p><p>“Of course!” declared Ferdinand, breaking the silence. “And besides, you must tell me where you obtained that cape-the material is impeccable!” He rushed forward to examine the accessory, only to be pulled back by an exasperated Marianne.</p><p>As she accepted praise from her classmates, the Agarthian edged toward Edelgard. “What do you think, Edel?” Monica played with her hands. “Do you think the Professor would like it?”</p><p>As the Flame Emperor looked at the girl in front of her, she realized that <em>this</em> was why she fought for the continent’s future-just like Ingrid and Sylvain, Monica’s life had been defined by the dogmatism of her people. A child, twisted and molded to fight for ancient beliefs. If this possibility, this potential, lay within her-it rested within everyone.</p><p>“Yes, I am confident the Professor would be exceedingly proud.” Edelgard smiled. “You look wonderful. I quite like the boots-”</p><p>Dorothea, in her glory, wrapped her arms around her two classmates. “Word of advice, the Emperor is the <em>last </em>person you want to talk fashion with. This is a woman who plotted a revolution while wearing formal shorts.” The diva ignored the dangerous scowl on Edelgard’s face, and pointed across the room. “Besides…I think someone else really likes it.”</p><p>Caspar stood, rubbing his head as if he had been struck by a heavy object. Dorothea excitedly pulled him over, and smiled. “Now little bro…do you have something to say to her?”</p><p>“Good…you…it…” he struggled to form the words. “You look really nice..<strong>not that you didn't before!”</strong> He began to flail wildly with his hands, eyes still focused on his classmate. “Maybe…later…we can talk?”</p><p>Monica tilted her head. “About what? Did you need my help training again? I know I was yelling at you, but you weren’t really doing that bad-“</p><p>Dorothea winked at Edelgard, and the two women began to laugh.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>After much debate, Derdriu was determined to be the neutral sight of the great parley between the Kingdom and the Empire. Daphnel had been too close to the Kingdom; Gloucester, too close to the Empire. As she waited at the immense wooden table, the Emperor’s fingers drummed a steady, regular rhythm.<br/>
<br/>
Edelgard was a woman of action-the less charitable would say intransigent-and ever since the great vow that had consumed her life, she had struggled to understand other’s perspectives-or perhaps more accurately, their inaction. It was not a question of pride-she deeply valued other’s counsel and ideas, and wanted to understand. It was rooted somewhere much more personal-the immense disgust and rage she felt toward the injustices of Fódlan.</p><p>She turned to the man who she trusted to temper her fire, and present her ideas with clarity and cohesiveness. Ferdinand could be oblivious, pompous, even downright impossible…but there were few people more brilliant, or who Edelgard trusted and relied upon more. She smiled at her friend, who was recording a few last-minute notes to himself in his confident, looping handwriting.</p><p>“You will do wonderfully, Ferdinand. You have prepared more than enough.”</p><p>Ferdinand did not raise his head, still focused on his preparation. His brow furrowed, as he shook his quill.</p><p>“My entire life, I have been preparing for moments such as this…given advantages my classmates could only dream of-and yet…” He finally met the Emperor’s eyes. “I still feel nervous.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor laughed, long and loud, the sound echoing off the cavernous room.</p><p>“Ferdinand, in the past few months, you have drafted a compelling and comprehensive plan for universal education, spearheaded our outreach to Leicester, and participated as member of the Empire’s most elite fighting squadron. If I did not have complete faith in you, you would not be here.”</p><p>The acting Prime Minister smiled. “And if I did not have faith in you, Your Majesty, I would not strive each day to see your vision fulfilled.” He looked around. “Will they be arriving soon? I cannot imagine Seteth, of all people, making us wait.”</p><p>As if Ferdinand’s words were a cue, the doors burst open, and the remainder of the party joined Edelgard and Ferdinand. First, came the forces of the Kingdom, as Lord Rodrigue Fraldarius walked with a confident stride, his relaxed posture a marked contrast to the overwhelming intensity of his son. He was closely followed by the King of Faerghus himself, so different from when Edelgard had last seen him.</p><p>At the great Battle of Garreg Mach, Dimitri had spit and raged with all the unabashed fury of a tempest-now all that outward turmoil was gone. But what had replaced that anger was something far more disturbing. His eyes were cold, his posture rigid. As his gaze met Edelgard for a brief instant, a flicker of wrath burst in those strangely familiar blue orbs. They contained all the anxiety of a wild animal, prowling at the bars of a cage. Every motion and muscle seemed poised to strike, ready to leap into action at a moment’s notice.</p><p>Behind him was Seteth, whose stern face darted down to Flayn every few moments, as if Ferdinand or Edelgard would leap at her with a quill. Flayn, for her part, wore a look of resignation and determination on her face, glaring at Edelgard when their eyes briefly met. Gilbert lingered behind, as gloomy and miserable as ever.</p><p>The final member of the party was Felix, who scowled as he saw the Emperor. The conditions of the parley had allowed one member of each party to be armed, mainly because neither Dimitri nor Edelgard completely trusted that Claude would not launch an ambush. The swordsman grasped his sword like a drowning man gripped a raft, the one source of stability in the turmoil of his life.</p><p>The rest of Edelgard’s party followed: Ingrid-who was acting as the Emperor’s bodyguard, holding Lúin tightly; Sylvain, who understood Faerghus like few others; Professor Hanneman, Dimitri’s old teacher, and the foremost authority on Crests; and Marianne, Ferdinand’s esteemed partner. Hubert and Lysithea had been left, over their objections, at Garreg Mach, given strict instructions on how to proceed if the situation spun out of control.</p><p>“Hey, just like old times!”  Sylvain began to laugh, slapping Ingrid on the shoulder. “All four of us, back together again-“<br/>
<br/>
“We don’t have time for this nonsense,” interrupted Dimitri. “If…” he glared at Edelgard. “She wishes to present her case, then do so.”</p><p>Edelgard met his gaze, refusing to concede even this small point. Her head, as it always did around the King of Faerghus, began to throb. “First, King Dimitri, I must ask where the Archbishop is. If we do not have her approval-“</p><p>Seteth coughed. “She has been feeling…unwell, and was not able to handle the rigors of the journey.” He folded his hands on the table. “If we can reach an agreement to stop this senseless bloodshed, I am sure she will be supportive.”<br/>
<br/>
Gilbert nodded. “The Archbishop, like all of us, is in pain at what has…” he glared at the Emperor “…transpired since the incursion on Garreg Mach. She grieves for all of us. Her tears are the tears of Fódlan.”</p><p>Ferdinand ignored Gilbert, and leaned forward. “You have read the manifesto we sent out to all territories. You know what we are demanding-an end to the Crest-based aristocracy, the demilitarization of the Church of Seiros, and a-“<br/>
<br/>
“Why.” Dimitri ignored Ferdinand, staring directly at the Flame Emperor. His words were not a question. “There were ways to change things. To promote reform in your own territory, without these senseless casualties.”</p><p>Edelgard felt her temper begin to rise. She wanted to scream and rant and rave at Dimitri. Expose her scarred, bare skin for the world to see, and ask him how a young girl could have prevented those horrors. For years, she had believed that war was inevitable, and Dimitri’s self-righteousness and naiveté brought back all the barely-contained fury that had once consumed her. But then she thought of Byleth’s eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard had many concerns about her new teacher. Oh, she certainly was a skilled fighter-but how would she command the Black Eagles in the mock battle? Edelgard valued competence, and if the girl was honest, she feared that all of the hopes she had placed in this new, odd mercenary would be proven false-just like her faith in her father, or the Goddess, or everything else. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But she could see that even Hubert was impressed. After using Edelgard and Ferdinand to clear the center of the field, she had immediately ordered Hubert to set the forest in front of them aflame, smoking out Claude and the other Golden Deer who lay waiting in ambush. As they moved toward the Blue Lions, Edelgard raised her ax. She would eliminate Dimitri, proving her strength and-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A coarse hand gripped her shoulder. “Edelgard.” Byleth stared at the princess with those large, unblinking blue eyes. “Wait.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard scoffed. “With all due respect, Professor, I am your strongest fighter. Who do you intend to have battle a man who has put down rebellions singlehandedly-Ferdinand?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth thought for a moment, and nodded. “Yes. Ferdinand and Hubert will fight him, while you eliminate Mercedes.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why am I battling a <strong>healer</strong>?!” Edelgard felt her eyes narrow, and she crossed her arms petulantly. “I will not allow others to fight battles for me. Do you really expect me to rely on-” She trailed off, completely exasperated.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Ashen Demon watched her student for a moment. “I know I’m not a future queen.”<br/>
<br/>
“Emperor,” snapped Edelgard reflexively.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Emperor,” nodded Byleth with a serene smile. “But in my Papa’s mercenary company, he didn’t fight every battle. Being a leader, whether it’s a mercenary group or a country, is about trusting others to do their jobs, and allowing them to work with you to accomplish your goals.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Flame Emperor lowered her eyes to the grass at her feet. “Trust is a luxury.” She thought of all the promises of the Goddess’ protection, how She protected and loved all that was good and beautiful. Edelgard raised her gloved hands, scars hidden underneath that pure white. “I have faith in these human hands. Nothing else.” She bit her lip, trying to hide the loneliness that had shrouded her like a shadow since childhood. The princess was so filled with self-pity, she startled when she felt a hand gripping hers.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You can believe in these, too.” Edelgard looked down at the scarred, weathered fingers that now rested in her own. Byleth was looking at her, and the desperation in her eyes was like staring into a mirror. “No one has ever wanted to fight alongside me, Edelgard. But if you let me…I’ll stand beside you, no matter what.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard tried to swallow. “Don’t make a promise you can’t keep, my teacher…will you fight the heavens themselves, just to fulfill a silly, childish vow?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth smiled, with that strange mixture of confidence and authority that made Edelgard’s legs quiver, and heart soar.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, Edelgard. Always and forever.”</em>
</p><p>Edelgard steadied her breathing, deciding to follow her teacher’s example, and trust her friends. She turned to Ferdinand. “My Prime Minister has outlined our reasoning. I ask that you allow him to continue to speak, King Dimitri.”</p><p>Ferdinand nodded. “Thank you, Your Majesty. The question of launching a military strike was not one the Empire arrived at lightly. The Church of Seiros, through its teachings, has created a society of men like me-a political elite who guide the rest of the world. Once, I believed this was the only path toward prosperity…but given what I have seen in my time at Garreg Mach-“<br/>
<br/>
“Such as?” said Seteth with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“Such as the Church of Seiros putting down a commoner’s rebellion, violently, to show us the cost of defiance. Such as the Archbishop covering up the truth of the relic weapons to protect the nobility’s reputation.” He turned to Dimitri. “You asked why the Emperor did not pursue reforms in her own territory? One hundred and sixty years ago, the Church attempted to overthrow the Empire, and ever since, has demonstrated little concern for the sovereignty of Adrestia, Faerghus, and Leicester. It has launched numerous missions within the three countries’ borders during our time at Garreg Mach. How could we be certain the Archbishop would not interfere, again?”</p><p>Seteth leaned forward. “And what do you propose? For the Church to allow lawlessness and disorder to consume the continent? Do we not have a responsibility to protect those we love?” His voice rose in pitch, and his eyes darted to Flayn.</p><p>“It’s not the protection that’s the issue, Seteth.” Sylvain spoke up, leaning against a pillar. “It’s the inconsistency of the application. The Church said nothing when Faerghus wiped out Duscur and annexed Sreng. It didn’t get involved in the Dagdan war. It’s just like with the noble kids…you protect people like us, with Crests, but for those who don’t…” He lowered his head. “The only time the Goddess cared about Miklan is when She sent us to kill him.”</p><p>Ferdinand filled the silence. “The Crest of Cichol runs in my veins, and it gives me immense pride.” At these words, Seteth gave Ferdinand a strange look. “But the true power of my Crest is not seen in battle, but in the status that it confers. It protects and shields those like me from accountability…” He turned to Edelgard for a moment, with a guilty expression. “And the damage an unchecked nobility can cause is…unspeakable. We have all seen it.”</p><p>He rose, and placed a stack of books on the table. “You spoke of ways to change things, King Dimitri…but the reality is that change was impossible. These are books, obtained from the Church’s private library in the Abyss, that outline its interference in numerous scientific advancements, the political history of Fódlan...the people <em>have</em> tried to rise up, countless times, only to be struck down by the true ruling power of this continent.” He paused for a moment. “All these books contain Seteth’s signature, approving of this suppression.”</p><p>As every eye in the room fell on the green-haired leader, Dimitri sprang to his feet. “This all is beside the point!” He gestured at Edelgard. “All these rationalizations ignore the truth-countless people have lost their lives to this conflict, all while the Emperor remains deaf to the screams of her victims!”</p><p>“Deaf!” Ingrid slapped her hand on the table, as animated as Edelgard had ever seen her. “I’ve sat with her as she put flowers on the graves of each and every one of the soldiers who died for her cause. You told us yourself, Faerghus’ Crest holders are blades to keep the country safe-when you put down that rebellion in West Faerghus, were you deaf to <em>their</em> suffering?! Did they not have the right to rise up?”</p><p>“You put those people down like they were animals,” muttered Felix. “Ingrid’s right.”</p><p>Rodrigue turned to his son, eyes aflame. “That’s enough, Felix.”</p><p>“You’re a damned fool, old man.”</p><p>For a moment, the two Fraldarius men glared at one another, before Dimitri began to pace.</p><p>“I am far from deaf to their suffering, but people aren't as strong as you think they are. Do you intend to become a Goddess yourself, Edelgard? There are those who cannot live without their faith...and those who cannot go on once they have lost their reason for living….”</p><p>Edelgard felt her mind go blank. She clenched her fist, and rose to her feet. “How dare you speak to me of faith! The Hresvelgs have been connected to Saint Seiros since the founding of the Empire. My father’s name meant ‘graced by the gods’…my mother, ‘protected by the gods’, and yet, when they needed the Goddess’ intervention, She broke Her oaths!” She pointed at Seteth, overcome with rage. “Do you know what is worse than living without faith? Praying, day after day for deliverance. Begging for help, only to receive silence. And when your faith is ripped from you, the Church tells you the fault lies with you. It was only because you were not beautiful enough, not good enough, to receive the Goddess’ love!”</p><p>Silence fell over the room, as the Flame Emperor’s shoulders rose and fell. Finally, a quiet voice spoke.</p><p>“I was going to kill myself.” Marianne lowered her head. “I think…I think if I hadn’t made the friends I did…that’s what I would have done. Because of the Church’s words, I had lost my own reason for living.”</p><p>She buried her face in her hands. Most of the Faerghus delegation remained silent, but Seteth continued to watch Marianne, eyes wide. Dimitri grasped the side of his head, long blond hair disheveled with agitation.</p><p>“And how many lives will you sacrifice for this glorious cause? Will you steal the power to take action from the broken-hearted masses you claim to defend? All we have is the present, Edelgard. All we have is now.”</p><p>“I am sorry, my boy, but I must disagree.” Professor Hanneman slowly rose to his feet, and began to absently clean his monocle with a handkerchief. “I have never told another soul this, but…” He pulled out a locket, resting around his neck. “This is my sister.”</p><p>Dimitri shook his head. “Professor Hanneman, I respect you greatly, but I do not understand…”</p><p>“The man who married her…she bore him eleven children. Over and over, until her heart could no longer take the strain. Her body and life was no longer her own, instead simply a vessel to bear more children with Crests…and when none of these children gave him what he wished, he threw her into the street, as if she were simply refuse. As a noble, he was never punished, but he murdered her, as viciously and inhumanely as if he drove a lance through her heart. And there are countless women, just like her, across the continent.”</p><p>The scholar’s voice never rose, never wavered, but there was such immense anger and resentment coating each and every word.</p><p>“The past is tainted…because all I remember of my sister is her pleading with me to end her suffering. The present is defined by an emptiness…an absence that can never be filled or replaced. The future…she will never see.”</p><p>Hanneman returned the monocle to his eye, and stared at the King of Faerghus.</p><p>“Where was her place, in the present you claim to fight for?”</p><p>Dimitri glared at the man, before he turned to Edelgard. All the unnatural calmness and poise began to slip.</p><p>"I finally understand…what you believe is right. You believe in a world where your noble ends justify any depravity, any violence, in service of your goals. You murdered my family…you ensnared my friends in your schemes…I will rise up to meet you, Flame Emperor, and I will cut you down.”</p><p>“It seems that will be decided in battle, King of Faerghus.” Edelgard glared back, trying to ignore why the hatred on Dimitri’s face wounded her so deeply. “Ancient practices, left unchecked, will rot this world. Unlike you, I refuse to accept injustice and side with the gods. I will create a world where all people are free…and all people have both a present and future.”</p><p>Dimitri gave a last, mournful glance at Ingrid and Sylvain, a deep sadness lining his features. “I hope your ideals are worth all this blood.”</p><p>Ingrid and Sylvain looked at each other, and sighed. The pegasus knight stepped forward, and dropped Lúin on the table. “Sylvain’s already had the Lance of Ruin sent back to House Gautier. These relics stand for everything we’re fighting against, and we won’t trouble our families further by using them in service of the Empire.” She looked at her birthright one last time. “We have chosen a different path.”</p><p>Dimitri did not respond, but tore from the room without another word. Gilbert and Rodrigue followed behind, refusing to acknowledge the rest of the delegation. Felix hesitated a moment, before departing, Ingrid’s relic weapon in hand.</p><p>Seteth had a newfound look of respect on his face, briefly nodding to the assembled group before he and Flayn took their leave. The girl gave one last look, giving a brief wave to Marianne and Sylvain. As silence fell over the room, the cavalier let out an awkward chuckle.</p><p>“So, now that we've talked...what happens?”<br/>
<br/>
Edelgard rested her head in her hands, unable to ignore the feeling she had let her teacher down.</p><p>“Now…we kill each other.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Of all things, it was really Fleche that made me realize that Edelgard was right.</p><p>There's a truism that's become kind of accepted-CF is about political change, where AM is about Dimitri's personal growth, and those are the stories they're trying to tell. I really, really disagree. For one, Edelgard's arc is much more about her own personal growth and healing from trauma than people want to believe, which is why her entire support chain is about her realizing she's still "El".</p><p>But the point about AM, and Dimitri's deconstruction of FE lords overall, is that all of his personal growth is *not afforded* to other characters, *because of his political status*: he goes on a rampage like Miklan, yet is offered forgiveness. Rodrigue's final words are not to Felix, but to Dimitri. Gilbert takes more steps to repair his relationship with Dimitri than Annette. Byleth murders a child for Dimitri, and no one worries about the impact on her. Fleche's (frankly, justified) pursuit of revenge leads to her death, instead of a redemption arc. Why? Because Dimitri has a Crest, which is the only reason he inherits the throne instead of his uncle.</p><p>Was this intentional? Yes. Cut content from the game shows that a split path in AM would have Annette and Felix defect to the Dukedom. The original JP version of the Dimitri/Edelgard debate in Azure Moon has Dimitri tell Edelgard that people can join together, and Edelgard responds by stating that people who have friends can't understand those who don't. Of course,<br/>Treehouse also translated Sylvain calling Dimitri a "stubborn idiot" as Hubert being Edelgard's "idiot sidekick," so...</p><p>I wanted to invert the AM debate, not by having Edelgard tell Dimitri he's wrong, but show her growth and her bonds ("people reaching out for each other"), by relying on *them* to prove her point. It may not have reached Dimitri, but Felix, Seteth, and Flayn were listening...</p><p>Other quick notes: Those, honest to goodness, are the actual meanings of Edelgard's parents' names. Ingrid's support with Felix, where she learns to follow her heart, rather than an unjust order, is exactly what Byleth does in CF, and it's the inspiration for Ing's massive role in the story. And yes, the romantic tension between Ingrid and Edelgard is absolutely intentional.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Year Three: The Last Hresvelg</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Goddess-damned boat wouldn’t stop moving.</p><p>The mighty, indominable Emperor of Adrestia had overseen the conquest of Garreg Mach, the most substantial reforms to the Empire in centuries, and demonstrated unmatched tactical and physical prowess in the war that now entered its third year. The soldiers she commanded often whispered-over her repeated objections-that she was the second coming of Saint Seiros. She was a shining beacon of hope for the downtrodden masses of the continent.</p><p>And right now, Edelgard von Hresvelg was emptying the contents of her stomach over the side of this great vessel.</p><p>“Can I bring you anything?”</p><p>Petra rubbed her friend’s back, and began to reassure her gently. The trip to Brigid had been long, arduous, and altogether necessary to convince the suspicious Brigid people of the Emperor’s good intentions. There had been credible intelligence that the Kingdom was making overtures to the Empire’s vassal state, and Adrestia could ill-afford to be trapped in a hostile vice of Brigid, Leicester and Faerghus.</p><p>With spring in the air, and the melting snow turning much of the earth to impassable mud, the war was in a standstill. Sensing an opportunity, Edelgard had made the decision to meet with Petra’s people, and ensure their continued support. Given the past year, perhaps the distance would do allow her to reformulate her tactics. Nothing had gone right. Each strike, each unexpected push into Kingdom territory had resulted in disaster. Edelgard had tried every stratagem she knew, trusted in her allies, and yet…it was like the Kingdom knew what the Empire was planning, each and every time.</p><p>There was a leak in the Empire’s forces, and Edelgard and Hubert had still not ascertained from where it originated. She wanted to believe it was Thales, but she had sidelined the monster as much as possible, and Hubert’s strike team was constantly on the alert for Agarthian spies in the ranks. Edelgard knew that if the whispers continued, undeserved suspicion would inevitably fall upon allies such as Sylvain, Marianne, or Monica. Despite her outward remove, the thought distressed the Flame Emperor deeply; she still feared, deep in her soul, that she would eventually drive her friends-her new family-away.</p><p>“No, Petra…if Linhardt and Manuela could not find a tonic or remedy, I fear I am simply beyond saving.”</p><p>Edelgard had other allies, but in many ways, the classmate she had most wanted by her side was the Brigid princess. Petra and Edelgard were kindred spirits-women fighting for freedom and equality; royalty quietly driven to prevent others from undergoing the same suffering they had faced. Before her attack on the Tomb, she had even drafted a desperate, pleading letter to Petra, asking her to join Edelgard’s cause. If a fellow ruler like Petra supported the Empire-supported Edelgard-perhaps the Flame Emperor was not the monster she believed herself to be.</p><p>Petra listened to the Emperor’s words with her usual serenity, before seemingly arriving at a decision.</p><p>“There is a technique my father taught me when I was a child. An old Brigid…what is the right word?” She paused, her beautiful face crinkled with frustration, before snapping her finger. “A method, passed down for generations…Would you like to try?”<br/>
<br/>
Edelgard nodded frantically, as a fresh wave of nausea struck. Petra closed her eyes, smiled and placed her hands on her friend’s shoulder.</p><p>“Place your hands on your nose, concentrate on a point in the distance, and spin in a circle,” said the princess, with all the quiet conviction of a sage. Edelgard momentarily blanched, before a fresh wave of queasiness enveloped her. Forgoing her doubts, she did as her friend instructed, with all the determination and fortitude that defined Edelgard’s life.</p><p>As Edelgard finished, she turned back to Petra, only to see her normally stoic friend doubled over with laughter. “And what…” huffed the great Edelgard von Hresvelg, trying and failing to safeguard her dignity, “was the point of that?”</p><p>Petra smiled. “It is like my father used to say to me…Your seasickness may be a problem, but I certainly feel better!” She wrapped her arms around Edelgard, drawing an unwilling smile out of the leader of the Black Eagle Strike Force.</p><p>“Dorothea and Sylvain have been a <em>terrible</em> influence on you.”</p><p>For a moment, the two friends watched the waves rise and fall. As the warm breeze fell upon her face, Edelgard felt that strange mix of pleasure and guilt she always did when experiencing the freedom of the natural world. How would her siblings have felt upon seeing these vistas…how much would Byleth have loved seeing the jungles and waterfalls- She shook her head, desperately trying to avoid ruminating on such things.</p><p>“Edelgard. There are things I must say.” Petra’s voice startled the Emperor. Her ally was staring into the distance, face implacable. “I have not been honest with you…for a very long time. Like you, I have been wearing a mask.”</p><p>The Emperor nodded, patiently waiting for Petra to speak.</p><p>“Since I arrived in your country, I have been planning to overthrow the Empire.” Petra spoke, never turning toward Edelgard. “When my father died in battle, and I was taken as a prisoner…I made him a promise. He was a good man. A man who made his people happy. I smiled, and I hid all my anger…but I had a wish deep down…a wish for revenge. I thought of all the things my father would never do, all the sunrises we would never see-“ She trailed off. “I think you understand.”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“I have been so lonely, without being able to share these feelings with anyone. It is…like a fire, burning away each day.” Petra put a hand to her chest. “I promised I would be removing-would <em>remove</em>-the knife that was at my people’s throat, whatever it cost. Even if it meant you and I-“ She smiled at Edelgard. “That day, at the Tomb, I was hurt. I thought you were using me, like so many others. But when you told us why…I knew I had to help you. Because you had made a promise to your family, too.”</p><p>The halting pauses and errors that had once characterized Petra’s speech were no longer present, and her time around her fellow Black Eagles had removed the scared, hunted quality to the girl’s eyes. Edelgard rested a hand on Petra’s shoulder.</p><p>“In many ways, I feel that my greatest allies may lie outside of Fódlan. The Goddess is unknown in those lands. They do not allow Her to control and dictate their lives. The isolation of this continent has led to strife with Dagda, Sreng, Almyra…” Edelgard shook her head. “I hope our visit is the first step toward that future. One that both our fathers would be proud to see.”</p><p>Petra nodded. “When my grandfather saw us standing together as friends…I think he saw that there could be a new future for both our countries. Maybe that is all that is needed? To see that we are not so different?”</p><p>“Well, perhaps if you were to bring home a nice charming Adrestian woman…that may go a long way toward resolving our dilemma.”</p><p>Now it was the Brigid princess’ turn to be consumed with embarrassment. “Dorothea is not…she could be choosing-“ Petra stammered, a rosy color forming in her cheeks. “<em>Can choose </em>any eligible man in the Empire. Someone who could provide for her-“</p><p>“And yet…” Edelgard smiled. “She spends all her time fussing over you, and never tires of telling me of your kindness and sincerity. There’s a hope and a light in her eyes when she looks at you, and only you, Petra. Besides…” The Emperor’s face twisted into a grin, as she leaned on the railing. “Why did you assume I was talking about Dorothea? I just said ‘A nice Adrestian woman.’” Silence reigned for a moment, as El tried to ignore the familiar, peaceful blue of the ocean. “Please, Petra. It is a terrible thing to live…unfulfilled. I don’t want you to lose this chance…regretting all the little moments you could have had.”</p><p>Petra joined Edelgard in leaning on the barrier, watching the rocking motion of the waves. “There is a saying in my country…that many people are declaring their love in the harbor, but few people are waiting for the ship to come home.” She gave Edelgard a sheepish grin. “It is more…poetic in my language.” She reached out, and held Edelgard in her arms. “Still, you are waiting for her, each and every day, and we all can see that love. And I am sure that Professor Byleth knows it too. She is searching for you, like the boats look for the lights of the shore.”<br/>
<br/>
Edelgard tried to ignore the lump that had formed in her throat.</p><p>“Thank you, Petra…I hope you are correct.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard was relieved to return to Garreg Mach, and even more grateful for a return to solid ground. As she and Petra were greeted by the Imperial guards, they found Ingrid and Hubert waiting for them at the entrance. It was hard to determine whose face was more lined with concern.</p><p>“Is this the reception I get after being gone for a month?” exclaimed Edelgard. She had only now had begun to tease and joke with her allies, the true girl occasionally daring to emerge from under her armored shell. “I expect this from Hubert, Ingrid, but you-“</p><p>Ingrid placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Edelgard. We tried everything to reach you. There…” She paused. “There was a turn.”</p><p>Hubert raised a hand to his lips and gently coughed. Edelgard knew this meant he felt he had failed to fulfill his duties, and was silently punishing himself. It likely meant he would skip meals and sleep, in a vain attempt to make up for his “failure.” But this, like so many of the things Hubert blamed himself for, lay outside of his control. She knew what was coming-had expected it for so long…and yet it did not soften the sting.</p><p>Edelgard was now, truly, the last of the Hresvelgs. One of the great truths of Edelgard’s life was that she had learned not to hope for better days-because so many times, when she believed the darkness could not grow any bleaker, or the anguish more overpowering…the world still found a way. She forced down the pain and loss, as she had done in the dungeons of Enbarr, and in the fires of Garreg Mach, and looked her retainer in the eye.</p><p>“He was comfortable…at the end,” muttered Hubert. “I insured it. We all did. He understood you were fulfilling your duties, and he was proud.” Count Vestra handed her a letter, marked with the Adrestian Eagle. “I believe he knew what was coming…and he wrote this to you. There is a carriage waiting to Enbarr, if you wish to-“</p><p>“No.” The Emperor clutched the unopened letter. “I have many responsibilities I must fulfill here. Time and the war will not stop, and I must not either. The greatest way to honor my father’s memory is to continue onward, until Adrestia and her people are free-“ Her voice gave out, and she marched ahead, afraid that if she stopped moving, her legs would collapse.</p><p>“Edelgard…” Ingrid ran behind her friend, grabbing her shoulder. “Please stop. Everyone will understand if you take time to grieve. You’ve lost so much…”</p><p>The Emperor stared up at the gleaming spires and ancient bells of Garreg Mach, whose ancient sounds and beauty seemed to mock her anguish. There was no feeling of peace and serenity-no believer’s comfort. Just silence. There was never anything but that awful silence. She lowered her head for a brief instant, the only small concession she would allow her loneliness and heartache.</p><p>“And if I stop to grieve, my knight, I fear I will lose even more.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>The battle was a slaughter. How had the Church and Kingdom become so strong? Garreg Mach was in flames, her soldiers decimated. Goddess…there was so much blood. Everywhere the Emperor looked she could see dead Imperial troops, each eye silently begging a simple question, one that Edelgard was unable to answer. She was so distressed, it took a moment for the fear to surface in her conscious mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her friends. She had to find her friends.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard passed through one of the stone archways, lungs burning from the exertion. Fighting back her growing panic, she turned the corner and found them. The Black Eagle Strike Force, dead at her feet. Hubert was riddled with lance wounds, in a fruitless attempt to protect Bernadetta, while Caspar and Monica’s bodies were covered in burns. Edelgard frantically rubbed Lysithea’s lifeless hand, trying desperately to bring some heat, some warmth back to those cold, childlike limbs. It was not the first time Edelgard had tried to will a loved one back to life. Just as before, it did not work. Lysithea remained still.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Edelgard…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ingrid stumbled forward, body filled with so many arrows. The Flame Emperor gently held her friend in her arms, feeling the pegasus knight’s breaths become shorter and more rapid. Ingrid glared at her with an immense bitterness-the same look she had given the Flame Emperor in the Holy Tomb.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“This is <strong>your </strong>fault. I’ll never forgive you.”<br/>
<br/>
She let out a strangled gurgle, and was silent.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Please.” Edelgard begged….someone? Ingrid? Byleth? The Goddess? “I’m sorry. I tried…I tried to keep everyone safe.” The Emperor was gone, and all that was left was the lost little girl, experiencing her greatest fear all over again. She whispered the prayer into the air. “Please don’t die. I can’t…not again.“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How many of us will it take? When will you accept the truth?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard turned to see her father, surrounded by the rest of the Hresvelgs-her mother, and each and every one of her siblings. Edelgard tried to breathe, tried to think, but her mind was too shattered to form words. The man leaned down, body gaunt, skin pallid.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We could have lived a happy and full life, Edelgard. If not for you. This is what you do. You burn everything, poison every life that touches yours. Just like you killed Byleth.” The apparition’s voice sped up, faster and faster, becoming more and more intense. “And at the end of all of it, when you’ve destroyed everyone you’ve ever loved…you’ll be left all alone. The world will see you as you truly are-a shambling, rotting husk…a corpse flower.” He gestured with a skeletal finger behind Edelgard’s shoulder. “Look.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard did not want to turn, but something within her was unable to resist the command. Her lilac eyes refocused, and in front of her was the palace in Enbarr, where a grey, monstrous figure was locked in battle with Dimitri and Byleth. The King and the Ashen Demon dodged and spun, their weapons striking the fiend over and over, but it refused to fall. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth dodged to the side, driving the Sword of the Creator into a bony, ghastly limb. The monster shrieked an inhuman sound, and raised its other arm. But as it looked down at the figure below, it paused, and a look of bottomless misery and longing crossed the creature’s face. That hesitation was enough for Dimitri to drive a lance through its side, and for Edelgard to recognize the familiar wispy strands of white hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That’s the real you,” whispered this nightmarish version of her father. “Your true self, the part you hide from Ingrid and Lysithea and even Hubert…do you think they’d stay, if they knew that potential lay within you? That all those grand plans and speeches, all your bluster, are to hide your ugliness from the world?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I…” Edelgard tried to form the words. “I’m not like that anymore. I promised I’d be better…I promised her.” She clenched her fists, her teacher’s blue eyes a port in the storm. “She said I was beautiful.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And she’s dead now, another person who died for your sake. Just like your family, and your soldiers. You’ve been playing the hero…pretending to be something you never were.” He grabbed the Emperor’s head, and guided it toward a brown-haired girl clutching a Faerghus dagger, her skin just as pale and gaunt as the rest of her family. “This is the truth-whether you admit it to yourself, or not.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No.” Edelgard whispered. “That’s not me. I’m not-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re just like the Agarthians,” whispered the ghostly El. “You’re just a monster wearing my skin.”</em>
</p><p>The words echoed in the Emperor’s ears as she awoke, screaming in anguish. For countless minutes, she clutched her blankets to her chest, trying to calm the frenzied thumping of her lonely, broken heart. She knew that after a vivid nightmare like this, sleep was an impossibility, so she quietly made her way to her desk, and continued her investigation into the contents of the banned books of the Abyss. Once, she could have talked to her teacher, but…</p><p>Hours passed, Edelgard still trying to drive the hallucinations from her mind with little success. After struggling through a few tomes dealing with the founding of the Alliance, Edelgard’s tired eyes fell on a massive book, nestled between equally cavernous accounts of the lives of the Saints. It was titled <em>Dispatches from the Morfis/Dagda War</em>, and immediately the Flame Emperor’s fatigue disappeared.</p><p>There had <em>never </em>been a war between Morfis and Dagda. Then why…She picked up the tome, and began to flip through the pages…and a small, worn diary fell onto the girl’s lap. Edelgard felt a satisfied smile cross her lips-this could be further evidence of the Church’s misdeeds! Further proof of the righteousness of her cause! She turned to the opening page, and began to read.</p><p>
  <em>Month 6 Day 5</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I do not know why I always let him talk me into these things. Humans are so strange. When I asked him why I should write in the human tongue, he smiled that same irksome smile he always does and said that if I shared my blood, then he could share his language. And then he laughed, and for reasons I cannot fathom, I began to laugh as well. Does he know how I feel? Does he know I think of him as far more than a simple ally?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ever since I lost Mother, and my family…I believed my old self dead. All I dreamed of was revenge, each night killing that butcher in slower and more gruesome ways. I cast aside all I once was, threw away the girl that once had quietly allowed Mother to braid her hair…there was just the hate. So great and dark, it seemed to swallow even the stars.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t even know why I gave him my blood…humans were the ones who had killed my family. I suppose that I just did not want to see another thing die in front of me, no matter what it was. And yet, when he opened his eyes, and asked if I was sent from the heavens…No human had ever looked at me that way before. Not with fear, or subservience, but with warmth and affection. The memory sets my heart aflame, even now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can only imagine what Cichol or Macuil would say if they could see me like this-the great and mighty warrior, swooning like a fool? But if I am honest, it is beyond love-we are connected now, by blood and by fate, and nothing shall ever separate us, always and forever.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Though I have never dared to speak the words aloud, I love him, with all my heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Wil is right-this human custom has caused me to reveal more about myself than I wished. I must be more careful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Month 9 Day 2</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For so long, since that excruciatingly childish confession to this diary, I have kept my feelings hidden. Tender thoughts that only seemed to grow, day after day, despite the fires of war. Really, he is all I need. I have even begun cooking for him, an old recipe my mother once prepared for me-with Zanado treasure fruit. He makes me feel like a lovestruck girl, weak-kneed, and weaker of heart. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I did not believe he would ever reciprocate. How could he? He is calm, and wise, and I am filled with a rage and fury that even frightens me. If I had not met him that day, saved him, then I would have burned in the fires of my hatred until there was nothing but an empty husk. And yet tonight, he took me away from the camp, away from the peering eyes, and poor, innocent, Cethleann, and told me of his love.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I tried to protest, to tell him of what I truly am, that this false form was hiding a creature so unlike him…but he stopped my protests with a single, tender kiss. It took the breath from my lungs. Besides Mother, and my siblings, I have never known what it is like to be wanted. To be loved, not for my sword, or my power, but for who I am. It is all I have ever dreamed of. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As we kissed under the stars, for the first time in so very long, I felt that Mother and my family were with me, and I no longer felt alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>18 Garland Moon </em>
</p><p>
  <em>There have been many objections to our union, and we have had to be discreet. It does not bother me-I had already taken on a false name, dyed my hair an unfamiliar yellow. None, outside of my closest allies, know my true self. Wil and I do not care. We have our quiet moments together, in the midst of this great and terrible war, and that is all we need. It is a world just for the two of us.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They have told him that he needs heirs, as an Emperor. It is not something I can provide, and I cannot help feeling I have failed him, as silly as it seems. Yet when I apologized, he stared at me, laughed, and kissed me with all the sweetness and gentleness that is for me alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Seri,” he whispered, “You saved me that day, years ago, and you continue to save me, each and every day. I may be the Emperor, but the only thing that has dominion over my heart is you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Whatever may come, we will face it together. I am sure of it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>18 Red Wolf Moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He pulled me back today. We were fighting one of Nemesis’ minor generals, one of the pathetic Northmen savages to which he promised power. I had the man at my mercy, and all I could see was Zanado. All I could see was my family, torn to pieces. I wanted to hurt him-no, I wished to see even the man’s memory annihilated from existence. So often, I wear the mask of a prophet…but sometimes the bottomless wrath inside me boils over. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He gripped my shoulder, and held me back. We found a quiet place, and I simply cried in his arms. I have not cried since Mother was stolen from me. I did not think myself still capable of feeling such things, but he makes me wish to be better. To be the leader and the person the Empire’s forces believe me to be.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Still…without his love, I fear for who I would become.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>9 Horsebow Moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We watched the sunrise together this morning, as we always do. His head resting on my shoulders. Even with the gift of my blood, I have watched his beautiful brown hair become lined with small streaks of grey. Tiny wrinkles form at the sides of his face. It fills my ageless heart with dread, the thought that I may someday have to face a morning without him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yet he smiles at me, as he always does, and he is still the same man who owns my heart. Who saw something beautiful underneath the Immaculate One’s form. When I told him of how deeply I care, and how much I need him, he just shook his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Seri…you made a choice. A choice to save me, and lift me up. You are the wings of this Empire, and of my soul. The people are lucky to have a heart like yours watching over them.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They tell us that Nemesis is bolstering his forces, and that a great battle may soon be upon us. Wil believes we will be fine, yet I do not share his faith. The irony does not escape me. Sometimes, I wish I could hear Mother’s voice, just once. I wonder if she would be proud of the choices I have made, and the woman I am.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>20 Horsebow Moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He is gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3 Ethereal Moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I promised I would never write in this diary again, but I feel I owe it to you, Wil. I killed Nemesis today. I plunged my dagger into his filthy, ugly face, over and over. It was everything I dreamed of, savoring the fear and agony as life left his eyes. I know that you and Mother would be horrified by what I did…all the blood…but I don’t care. I suppose without you, this is what I truly am. Who I was all along.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have told the Empire that I shall hunt down each and every one of his damn Elites, until I have washed their filth off this continent in a great, purging flood. They have convinced me to spare the wretches’ families, which is fine…but I will have my vengeance. Cethleann and Cichol are frightened of me, but that does not matter. I am doing what must be done. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>1 Pegasus Moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have taken the position of Archbishop, claiming to speak for a mother I can no longer hear. Much of our teachings are false- each lie that tumbles from my lips seems to come easier and easier. I will not let you die in vain. We made this continent safe, and if I must dirty my hands and my soul to keep it that way? So be it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As the Goddess’ Voice, I have created this great, terrible lie-that the murderers of my family were not savages, but heroes. It has given them a grand purpose, and tempered their fire. If I can control them-make them believe that the Goddess is watching and judging their every deed…perhaps I will keep their barbarity from destroying more lives, like they destroyed mine.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wish I could talk to you. Every day. You always balanced my coldness and rage with compassion and warmth. We were two halves of a greater whole, and yet without you, I am left here…incomplete.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3 Harpstring Moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can’t remember your face. I can’t remember your voice. I can’t remember the man I loved. More and more of the memories slip through my fingers, like grains of sand. I am losing you, and in the process, losing myself. The years seem to pass in an instant. It terrifies me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The loneliness is more than I can bear. I want to keep everyone safe, but I don’t know what that even means anymore. The compromises, the assassinations, the bribes…I don’t want to have to face it alone. I’ve scared away everyone else. If I could see you, just for a moment...it would all make sense again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>23 Blue Sea Moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The humans never understand. How could they? They blather on about honor and righteousness, not knowing the refuse they sprung from. I have to lead them…I am Seiros, am I not? The Voice of the Goddess herself. Is my word not law?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will keep these wretches safe, for your sake. I promised you. I have begun to research how to bring back Mother. If I bring her back, then everything will be better. I will be free, and I won’t be alone anymore. The chalice didn’t work, but perhaps there are other ways. Other vessels, to fill with my mother’s spirit. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I look in the mirror, and I cannot recognize the woman I see. What did you call me? ‘Seri’? That part of myself has died. I am the Archbishop of the Church of Seiros, and I will bring the peace and light of Sothis back to this continent, no matter the cost. It is all I have left.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>21 Red Wolf Moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Failure after failure after failure. I must hold this world together, until Mother returns. I must make things right. I haven’t slept since the last attempt. I just want someone to love me like you did. I can’t remember what it felt like to have someone hold me. My mind feels like shattered glass.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No. This is not the time to be weak. This is not just for me. This is for the good of all. The Church of Seiros teaches that my will is absolute. I am the great prophet of Sothis. I must remember that. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>30 Horsebow Moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The child lives. It will work. I know it will. The Creststone and the blood have made the perfect vessel. Sitri...please forgive me. I have given the child a life, and eventually she will realize her destiny. I have forgotten the true sound of Mother’s voice, but I will not have to wait long. She will be here soon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mother…I just need to see you again, and everything will be all right. You’ll fix everything. I know it.</em>
</p><p>Edelgard carefully placed the diary down, feeling as if she had stumbled upon a private, terrible tragedy. The Flame Emperor’s mind fell back to all the strange, cryptic comments, and Rhea’s desperation and fear in the Holy Tomb. Combined with Jeralt’s diary, it was clear what had happened-Byleth was meant to be a tool, a vessel. The outfits, and the training…it was all meant to <em>murder </em>her teacher!</p><p>And yet…despite the principled outrage Edelgard felt, there was something…so familiar about her enemy’s grief. The Crest of Serios flowed in Edelgard’s blood, and for years, Edelgard has scratched and clawed to free herself from the tyranny of that destiny. The thought that the woman she hated was so much like her-there were no words to describe the weight of that realization. To know that she had lost her family too.</p><p>And now, just like Seiros, Edelgard was alone. Would she lose herself, just as the Saint had? Would she descend into madness, believing in her righteousness, even as she damned herself? Without her loved ones, her father and Byleth, perhaps that nightmarish form, that husk she had seen in her dreams, would reveal itself-just like the Immaculate One.</p><p>The questions rattled in Edelgard’s head as she stared at the ceiling of her room, vainly waiting for the peaceful abyss of sleep to take her.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I still think we should tell her, Edelgard. She wouldn’t want-”</p><p>The Flame Emperor sighed with frustration. She tried to pretend that her annoyance was simply with her friend and companion, and not the fear and anxiety that threatened to overwhelm her conscious mind. The collection of blood…the scalpels and the feeling of them cutting into her skin…</p><p>“That is precisely why, Linhardt. If Lysithea knew I was doing this, she would stop it. I don’t care what it costs. You’ve seen her cough. It’s getting worse.”</p><p>Linhardt’s attention was momentarily drawn away from the vial of blood he had just collected. He stared into space.</p><p>“It is.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor extended a scarred arm, trying to steady it with her other limb to stop the tremors. Linhardt did not comment on her obvious fear, for which the girl was exceedingly grateful. As he walked toward Edelgard, he stumbled for a moment, steadying his arm on a nearby table.<br/>
<br/>
Edelgard shot to her feet, fussing over friends as she always did. She looked at Linhardt’s eyes, the web of lines that had formed underneath, along with massive dark circles. Linhardt and Edelgard’s friendship was one where neither could admit their obvious fondness for one another, but at such a fraught moment, those conceits were cast aside.</p><p>“Linhardt, I know this will seem a ridiculous question, coming from me…but when was the last time you rested?”</p><p>The cleric sank onto a chair, still woozy. He refused to look up.</p><p>“Does it matter? The potential ramifications of removing or granting Crests is more important than even this stupid, bloody war.” He coughed, trying to hide his turmoil behind a wall of apathy. “It’s a matter of research. I have quite enjoyed having the opportunity to study such a fascinating case.” He looked at Edelgard with a guileless expression. “People like you and her don’t appear very often.”</p><p>Edelgard sighed. “If I allowed your every snide comment to wound me, I would have let you be Faerghus or Leicester’s problem.” She tilted her head. “And what you’re saying isn’t really the truth, is it?”</p><p>Linhardt yawned. “Well, Lysithea is a brilliant mind, and mage, and the academic loss to Adrestia would be irreplaceable…”</p><p>“No.” Edelgard crossed her exposed, scarred arms. “I know you too well for this. You pretend you don’t care, but you value life and your friends more than any of us.”</p><p>A brief spasm of irritation crossed the young man’s face. “If you believe so, who am I to dissuade you?”</p><p>“I don’t believe. I know.” Edelgard turned, watching the sun flicker through the windows of Garreg Mach. “And I know, because just like you, I have spent a lifetime fleeing from the ordinary world.” She paused, trying to collect herself. “For years, the thought of losing a loved one cut so deep, and so intensely, that it was easier to run away.” She turned back to Linhardt. “You love her.”</p><p>The boy blanched. “I, well…she is-“</p><p>Edelgard smiled at him. “Lysithea is special to me. You know the burdens we both share.” She marched forward, and with all her Imperial poise and bearing, placed a scarred hand on Linhardt’s shoulder. “I say this, because to tell her that she is beautiful and loved would mean more than all the scholastic commendations she has ever recieved. She has so little time, and so many of her private dreams may go unfulfilled.” Edelgard, for a brief instant, allowed her stern facade to collapse. “You both deserve this happiness.”</p><p>Linhardt was quiet for a moment, hand resting on his chin. Finally, with a movement of his neck that resembled some sort of oversized owl, his gaze turned to Edelgard.</p><p>“Very well. You can be rather persuasive when you want to be, Edelgard. And…” He paused. “I wish you had more time with Professor Byleth.”</p><p>They smiled at one another, words unneeded, before Linhardt busied himself sketching some arcane formula. The comfortable silence lasted for what seemed ages, before the door to the room burst open, revealing an incensed white-haired mage, accompanied by an orange-haired thief.</p><p>“Monica!” said Edelgard angrily. “I told you to keep her distracted!”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Edel,” said Monica sheepishly. “She’s…we’re all worried about you, and, well…” She placed a hand on Lysithea’s shoulder. “Weapons like us have to look out for each other.”</p><p>Lysithea gave her friend an affectionate nod, before returning to staring daggers at the Emperor.</p><p>“This is ridiculous, even for you!” Lysithea marched toward Edelgard, jabbing a finger. “Ever since your father, you've been running yourself ragged. Ingrid, Hubert and I are-“ Linhardt had been quickly and covertly attempting to hide the research and vials, but not quick enough to escape the brilliant young mage’s notice. She looked at Edelgard’s revealed arms, and the vials of blood, and the color drained from her face.</p><p>“Lysithea…” Edelgard felt cowed, for some strange reason. “I can explain-“<br/>
<br/>
Within the past year, Lysithea’s height had passed that of Edelgard, and now the girl looked down on her beloved companion with all the authority her new-found growth could confer.</p><p>“You’re doing this again? For <em>me</em>?” Her pink eyes welled with emotion, before she turned to Linhardt. “I expect this nonsense from her, but you? Professor Hanneman and I are making great strides! I will not be treated as a…as a problem for both of you to fuss over and solve and-“<br/>
<br/>
“I want you to live.” Linhardt stared at her, his normally flat voice swelling with emotion. “Dying when I can prevent it is a pointless waste of everyone’s time, and Edelgard agrees. We needed more data. I don’t care if-“</p><p>“Oh stop!” snapped Lysithea. “Do you understand what you’re putting her through? What it means for her to give blood? I won’t-“ Her tirade was interrupted by a dry, hacking cough, and Monica and Linhardt guided the young mage’s spasming body to a chair. “Forgive me,” the girl gasped. “I have been feeling weaker than normal today.”</p><p>Monica shot Edelgard a pained glance out of the corner of her eye, but Linhardt’s attention was focused on searching the cabinets for supplies. As he whipped up a tonic, his pushed a few strands of long green hair from his forehead.</p><p>Unable to take the silence, Edelgard leaned down in front of her dear companion. “Lysi,” She whispered with a quiet sweetness she reserved only for the Alliance noble. “Remember when your father visited me in Enbarr?” She grasped the girl’s hand firmly.</p><p>Lysithea nodded. “He still talks about it, two years later. He was so afraid. The Empire had ruined our lives, and yet after meeting you…” A spark of realization came over her visage. “He never told me what you said to him.”</p><p>Edelgard smiled. “I simply showed him a family portrait, of the Hresvelgs. The last one before…” She trailed off. “Our fathers talked, and I told him of the dream that you and I share. Of a world with no more victims. And…” She looked at the floor. “I told him that I had failed my other sisters, but I would save this one, <em>whatever</em> it cost me.” Edelgard’s eyes fell on the vial of blood, resting on the table. “Even if it meant reliving a few…unpleasant memories.”</p><p>Lysithea was silent, before Linhardt inelegantly shoved a cup filled with a foul-smelling liquid into her face. “Drink,” he said with his usual blasé’ affectation. “It will reduce the nausea.” As the girl grimaced, he sighed. “I wish you would allow yourself to rest. All our research will do you little good if you get yourself-“</p><p>He trailed off, and went to hand her the cup, and for a moment, their hands touched. Lysithea froze, as if caught in some terrible misdeed, while Linhardt stared back. As the young mage’s face grew red, she seemed to fight an intense and losing battle, before gripping his hand firmly.</p><p>“Thank you.” She muttered, trying to hide the tears forming in her eyes. “Thank you all.”</p><p>“Hey,” Monica wrapped her arms around Linhardt and Lysithea. “You both look exhausted! Why don’t you two go over to the dining hall? I heard from a <em>very </em>reliable source that they’re serving peach sorbet tonight!”</p><p>Linhardt shook his head. “I thought that most ingredients were currently unavailable-“<br/>
<br/>
“Oh they are,” said Monica, that old wild gleam momentarily returning. “But do you think that’d stop me? I can be pretty <em>persuasive</em> to those greedy merchants…” She let out a cackle. “Anything for my friends, right, pal?”</p><p>“Fair enough, Monica.” Lysithea chuckled, and allowed Linhardt to guide her to her feet. “And a meal with friends sounds lovely. Large, boisterous dinners are…they were good times.”</p><p>“Oh, Monica and I will catch up,” said Edelgard. “We have to review…tactics. Besides, I’m sure Linhardt has many things he would like to discuss with you…” The Emperor and the assassin exchanged sly grins, as Linhardt’s pale face turned scarlet. They waited for a moment for the two figures to disappear out the door before Monica turned to Edelgard and began to laugh.</p><p>“Honestly, they’re worse than Caspar and I were.”</p><p>“Oh, let’s not be too hasty,” said Edelgard, pretending to frown. “I still remember a certain <em>someone </em>being quite confused when they received a lover’s wreath for Garland Moon.” She scrunched her face, and adopted a high, whiny voice. “<em>Edel, what is this? Am I supposed to hang it on my door?”</em></p><p>Monica giggled for a few moments. “Well, we didn’t exactly have flowers…down there,” laughed the girl, before a spasm of melancholy overtook her. “There wasn’t room for anything beautiful.” She smiled a false smile. “There’s nothing new to report, by the way. Our group eliminated an infiltrator in Duke Gerth’s territory, but it was sloppy. I think Thales is scrambling. The spy wouldn’t tell us anything about whether there’s a mole at Garreg Mach.” She clutched her dagger. “So for the moment, the only suspicious person you have to worry about is me.”</p><p>Edelgard grabbed her the girl’s shoulders. “I won’t have you speak like that again. You have fought alongside us long enough. You believe in the cause. You have bled the same blood as everyone else-“</p><p>“And how long until the nightmares go away?” muttered Monica. “How long until I stop thinking about the monster I was? All those people I hurt.“ She lowered her head. “Jeralt wouldn’t have saved me if he’d known.”</p><p>Edelgard considered the girl’s words, before turning and looking out the window. “The night I met the Professor, it was not fate. It was part of my own stupid plot.” She stared up at the sun, slowly dipping toward the horizon. “I had hired the bandits to scare away the school’s new hire, so Jeritza could take the teaching position. In the depths of my arrogance, I had planned it all out. The bandits would attack, the coward would flee, and the Church would wipe out the brigands. Simple and effective. And then Claude ran away.”</p><p>Monica hummed quietly. “And what happened?”</p><p>“I had placed the attack near a village, where I knew that a well-regarded mercenary group was stationed, in case of complications. We met, and the Professor saved my life, from a killer that <strong>I </strong>had hired.” Edelgard shook her head in disgust. “I sent those wretches to die, just to make my schemes easier to accomplish. What kind of person-“ She trailed off. “And yet, Byleth protected me, never once failing to believe goodness lay within.” She turned back to Monica. “There are many days I believe she was wrong.”</p><p>The assassin nodded with understanding, but remained silent.</p><p>“Byleth sacrificed herself for me, just like my siblings, and so many others…just like Jeralt did for you.” Edelgard placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “The blood will never come off. I will never be worth the people I replaced. All I can do is try to make good use of the sunrises they gave me.” She grasped the girl’s hand firmly. “I know Jeralt would be proud to see what you’ve become.”</p><p>“Edel… ” Monica pulled away, hands racing through her ponytail. Then she raised her eye to the Adrestian leader and smiled. “Next time you think there isn’t anything good in you…just remember, you reached out to me, okay?” She wrapped an arm around Edelgard. “We should probably go get some dinner. Lysi’s gonna be waiting for us.”</p><p>“A dinner with friends sounds delightful, Monica.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>After a rousing meal, Edelgard found herself quietly walking the paths of Garreg Mach. She still had not opened her father’s letter, and she had tried to drive thoughts of both Byleth and Seiros far from her mind. She leaned over the railing, as the cool night breeze blew through her hair, which felt so light without the weight of the Imperial Crown. A part of her wished to flee, from her position, the guilt, and her memories. She had to make it all count-</p><p>“Lovely night, isn’t it?”</p><p>Edelgard was shaken from her ruminations by Marianne, who leaned against the stone pillar.</p><p>“Marianne,” said Edelgard, “You startled me.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” muttered the cleric. She waited for Edelgard to respond, and when the Emperor simply stared ahead, she hummed quietly. “Forgive me for saying this, but you’re thinking of him, aren’t you?”</p><p>Edelgard began to laugh bitterly. “Am I that obvious?”</p><p>Marianne nodded. “I’m the same way, when I think about my parents...” She looked down at her nails. “It was peaceful, Edelgard. When Manuela and I were caring for him, all he told me, over and over, was that he was worried about leaving you alone.”</p><p>“I…I’ll be fine.” Edelgard did not turn her head, focused on the dark night sky. And then, a strange fury erupted out of her. “It’s not like he was there for me, when I needed...” She clasped a hand over her mouth, disgusted with her cruelty. “Forgive me. I don’t know why I say such dreadful things.“</p><p>“Because no child should shoulder burdens like ours, Edelgard.” Marianne reached out and squeezed Edelgard’s hand, the Flame Emperor treasuring the contact. “Pain we’re never allowed to show.” She let out a warm smile. “Manuela and I are praying at the Cathedral tonight. We can light a candle for your father, and say a few prayers for him, if you’d like to join us and listen.”</p><p>“I’m not sure I should. I…don’t believe,” muttered Edelgard. “The girl who prayed was…she was a different person. I’m not sure the Goddess wants to hear what I have to say.”</p><p>Marianne watched Edelgard for a moment, a profound sadness in her eyes. “Edelgard, a lot of days, I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I just want to stop…feeling. It’s my own little war, with voices telling me I don’t matter, over and over. Do you know why I get up and fight, each and every day?”</p><p>Edelgard bit her lip, and slowly shook her head.</p><p>“It’s because of you. When all those people condemn you, or say that this war shouldn’t have happened…” Marianne’s normally peaceful eyes blazed with emotion. “You and I know what they really mean. They were willing to accept my parents or your siblings dying, as long as they had the decency to do it away from people’s sight. I used to believe my death was the will of the Goddess, but...”</p><p>“Marianne…”</p><p>“When you fight, just to speak for people like me, it gives me hope. Hope to carry on. And if you can ignore all the voices, and fight your great big war, just to make a better, kinder world…than maybe I can win my little one too.”</p><p>A bird flew overhead in the dusk, a straggler returning home-to its nest and family. The mighty Flame Emperor’s body shook violently, before she grabbed Marianne and began to sob quietly.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Marianne. I…I just miss my family and the Professor so much, and every day I’m…I’m so lonely and afraid…and it’s all my fault they’re…”</p><p>Her voice trailed off, as it lost any semblance of the control the Flame Emperor treasured so dearly. Marianne quietly held her friend in her arms for countless minutes, before she pulled Edelgard away.</p><p>“You had the courage to help me find my voice, so just for tonight…when you can’t find the words? Let me speak for you.” She extended a hand. “I’ll make sure they can hear.” Once again, Marianne smiled that gentle, serene smile. “It’ll be our secret.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Edelgard returned to her chambers, the smell of incense and candles still tickling her nose, she made her way to her desk, and pulled out the envelope, containing the final message from her father.</p><p>Edelgard was brave and fearless in so many things, but at that moment, the Flame Emperor’s courage failed her. She found her fingers, which had participated in so many battles and signed so many declarations, lost their nimbleness. She thought back to Byleth’s lessons on faith magic, and searched for her center, her calm in the storm of her turbulent heart.</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard waited in the Imperial carriage, fingers nervously drumming the door of the royal coach. Byleth had promised she would be but a moment, but each second was one more that drew Edelgard closer to the Holy Tomb, and the parting that must inevitably come. Soon, she would be the last Hresvelg, friendless and alone, her bonds forever shattered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The door flew open, and Byleth appeared, green hair flying haphazardly in the breeze. “I’m sorry, little flower,” she said with an apologetic grin. “Your father-I mean, His Majesty, or…what is he called now, anyways?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The newly crowned Emperor of Adrestia laughed heartily. “It does not matter.” A look of concern fell over her face. “What did my father want?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A rare blush formed on Byleth’s face, bringing life and color to those oh-so-pale cheeks. She shyly looked out the window. “I’m sorry. I can’t tell you. He made me promise.” Seeing the look of distress on her student’s face, Byleth quickly reached out a hand. “It’s okay. It’s nothing bad. He…he asked me a favor.” Seeing Edelgard’s suspicious look, the Ashen Demon gave her student a teasing smile. “I promise, Edelgard…excuse me, <strong>Your Majesty</strong>.” Still seated, she gave a deep and clumsy bow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The mighty ruler began to blush, and shook her head. “If you call me that again, I’ll throw you out of this carriage myself, and you can walk all the way back to Garreg Mach.” She frowned. “Although, knowing you, you’d find a way to beat us there.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Maybe…” Byleth gave a serene nod, as the carriage began to carry the two women toward their waiting destiny. “But I don’t think I’d enjoy it as much as getting to spend the time with you.”</em>
</p><p>Edelgard smiled, and with her teacher’s voice echoing in her head, found the courage to tear open the envelope. She looked at the faltering, painful strokes, so different from the confident penmanship of her father in his prime. She tried to push the last remnants of her bitterness down, and began to read.</p><p>
  <em>El,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am sorry. Those three words can do so little to express what has been taken from you. Not only have you suffered torments beyond what anyone should have to endure, but each day, each moment, your foremost concern has not been for your own loss, but to protect my own fragile pride.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So often, I have seen you bite your own tongue, hiding the pain so as not to wound me further. No father should dare to ask his daughter to shield him, like you have done over and over. I know my end is approaching. All I can say is that you are already a greater ruler than I could ever dream of being, and I know you will make Adrestia a better place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When I go, know that I will join our family, and we will all be helping you, El. We will be the unseen breeze at your back, when the night is especially dark, and all hope seems lost. Nothing will stop us-not death, or fate, or the passing of time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When we have spoken, I know you grieve for Byleth. And I also know how long it has been, and how much her absence weighs on your fragile heart. Keep believing in her. I made her promise to watch over you, in my stead, and she promised on the grave of her father. Love like the two of you share…nothing can stand in its way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My life has been defined by failure, El. I failed as a father, as a husband, and as a ruler. But when I look at you, fighting each day against the dark, it lifts me up to know that my broken legacy will somehow be linked to yours. I am proud, each day, to be able to call you my daughter, and that will never change. Never stop fighting for what you believe in, El, and know I love you with all my heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Father,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ionius</em>
</p><p>As the peaceful moonlight shone through the window of the Emperor of Adrestria, it illuminated a sight that no citizen of the Empire would ever be allowed to see. A lonely girl with white hair, so tiny without the regalia and crown of the Emperor. As she looked up to the sky, vision blurred, the last Hresvelg renewed her promise to her teacher’s favorite star.</p><p>“I’ll be waiting for you, my teacher. As long as it takes. Please…just come home.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The last few chapters have been rather plot-heavy, but this is something that we know happens during the time-skip, and it felt like an important character journey that needed be charted for El.</p><p>It also seemed like a good opportunity to tie in Edelgard's parallels with Seiros, right down to taking on a false identity, changing her hair color, and even revealing a monstrous, inhuman form when pushed to their psychological breaking point. No comment on how the diary may impact things, down the line. By the way, the weird "month 1" naming convention comes from the DLC library-I wanted to leave the years ambiguous, rather than putting a number on how long poor Rhea was alone.</p><p>I am doing something a little different with Petra's voice-basically, in the original script, she speaks slowly, and often pauses, while not understanding idioms. She gets better at it after the timeskip. I much prefer this to the verb tense errors she has in the EN version (My job involves linguistics-the tense errors aren't really realistic and it drives me crazy). So I thought the timeskip made sense to transition to a more natural style of speaking that we don't really see in the game.</p><p>Next chapter is going to be much more plot-heavy, and it will involve Edelgard making a terrible, terrible mistake, Aymr, and pay-off for all the Edelgrid teasing. I'll see you next time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Year Four: Hideous Strength</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was no time of the year that Edelgard hated more than Garland Moon. Beyond the bitter taste her birthday always inspired, there was the ancient tradition of gifting wreaths to the object of one’s devotion. Even in the midst of this continent-wide war, soldiers could be found giggling and laughing with their companions, a garland perched atop their heads.</p><p>As a young girl, El had once dreamed of receiving such a gift. The lonely little princess had longed to feel that sense of connection with another person, to know that she alone held a special place in someone’s heart. When the boy from Faerghus had placed a carnation in her beautiful chestnut hair, she had not removed it for days. The thought of being cared for-of having the intimacy and quiet affection that is love’s birthright-had once been her most private, secret wish. Now the only object that lay on the Flame Emperor’s head was a menacing, horned crown-a symbol not of love, but of fear and detachment.</p><p>All her innocent, childish dreams were gone, just like Byleth Eisner was. And so, as the majority of the Black Eagle Strike Force spent a weekend evening dispersed around Garreg Mach, the Emperor of Adrestia sat alone in her dark, empty room. Her only companions were the scratching of her quill as she filled out some insignificant document, and the tiny black cat sleeping on her bed-the same runt she had fed with Professor Byleth on the Ashen Demon’s first day at Garreg Mach.</p><p>Outside, the girl could hear the carousing of the Imperial Army, and tried to block out the sounds, disgusted with the bitterness and jealousy that welled inside her. Even the rocks of her Imperial administration, Hubert and Ferdinand, had taken a night’s leave. Her friends had offered to include her in their activities, each sensing how difficult this moment was for the heartbroken Emperor. Edelgard did not wished to be fretted over, or even worse, become a figure of pity-so she simply declined, a false smile plastered on her features.</p><p>She looked down at the paperwork-simple approvals for minor troop movements, and trivial training exercises, each requiring the same mechanical signature that Edelgard had inscribed countless times. Finally, for some inexpressible reason, the dam holding back the girl’s creative, romantic spirit burst. With a dramatic flourish, she pushed aside the stack of memorandums, unable to face the drudgery and tedium a moment longer. The motion startled her pet from its slumber.</p><p>“Sorry, Max,” she whispered. “Go back to sleep.” The animal watched her pensively for a few moments, before curling back up into a tiny black ball of fur.</p><p>Edelgard pulled open the drawer at the bottom of her desk, and carefully opened a tiny black sketchbook. Staring back at the Emperor of Adrestia was a blue-haired teacher, quietly immersed in a book of tactics. The woman’s enigmatic smile and stoic gaze were filled with the gentle bemusement that defined Byleth Eisner. The sketch had been composed in fits and starts over the past few moons, in those rare moments when El could find the time.</p><p>The Hresvelg family motto, for millennia, was an ancient maxim passed down from Wilhelm himself: <em>Faith Shall Be Your Shield</em>. For so long, it had felt a cruel taunt-a reminder of the Goddess’ silence when Edelgard had needed Her most. Edelgard had sworn she would never believe in anything else with the desperate, stubborn belief of her childhood. And yet, as the years wore on, and the hope in the girl’s heart slowly dimmed, that irrational, weak faith in her teacher was all Edelgard had left. On nights like this, it was her only bulwark against despair.</p><p>The Flame Emperor looked at the picture and frowned. Despite weeks of fussing, the eyes still lacked that…that…the word slipped through Edelgard’s fingers. There was something-something endless about Byleth’s eyes, a quality that seemed to reach out and pull the viewer in, like the ocean’s tide. It was immense and eternal, as if those orbs were tiny windows into some vast horizon Edelgard could only begin to grasp. And despite all her supposed love for her teacher, despite all her practice…Edelgard had failed to capture it. It was yet another way she had let Byleth down.</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard hated her birthday. Such an event was all about looking back-celebrating what had come before with friends and family. Besides her father, her family was dead, and her memories were a jumble of senseless images. All she had was the future. All she had was the promise of a dawn she doubted she would ever see. She sat in her room, distracting herself with a historical text, when the door slowly opened. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Edelgard.” Byleth Eisner stood in the door, arms placed behind her back. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Did you need something, my teacher?” Edelgard attempted to avoid the obvious topic of conversation. “Would you like to spar or perhaps review-“<br/>
<br/>
“No.” Byleth gave her a blank stare and shook her head. “I haven’t seen you all day, and Dorothea reminded me that it was your birthday. Everyone tells me that birthdays are special, and if anyone deserves a day like that, it’s you.” Edelgard has only a moment to wonder how such a miraculous woman could exist. “I don’t remember my own birthday, but I’m going to try to make this as wonderful for you as I can.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Caught off guard, Edelgard felt the heat rising in her cheeks, and unsuccessfully attempted to hide her face behind her book. “I..I don’t deserve-“ She caught herself, and flashed an unconvincing smile. “Besides, I don’t think many of us remember the day of our birth, my teacher.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth shrugged. “Oh, I meant any of my birthdays. I can’t remember any of them at all.” Seeing the look of horror on Edelgard’s face, she tilted her head. “Is this another of my…my things, Edelgard? Am I being strange again?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Imperial princess rose from her seat, and walked toward her teacher. “Absolutely not. I…I just worry about you. Losing one’s past…it can be painful. It can make one feel as if they…” She swallowed. “As if they’ve lost a piece of their soul.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth Eisner listened for a moment, before a look of annoyance crossed her face. “I haven’t forgotten. Stop laughing! This was your idea in the first place!” The Ashen Demon aimed the words at the ceiling of Edelgard’s room, to her student’s utter bafflement. The princess was about to question this bizarre interruption, when Byleth pulled a massive bouquet of red carnations from behind her back and placed them in her stunned student’s arms.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“These…these are my favorite flowers…” Edelgard whispered the words in disbelief. No one had done something like that since…before…“How did you know?“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’ve been watching you in the gardens,” said Byleth with a smile. “And after this, I have Bergamot tea prepared, and I got that board game you were eyeing in the marketplace, and the dining hall is preparing saghert and cream for us tonight-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard felt a wave of emotion crash over her, and could only gasp out a response. “My teacher, those are all things I love. All that preparation...I’ve never done something like that for you…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth extended a hand. “Yes, you have. You helped me learn that lilies are my favorite flowers, and that pickled rabbit skewers are my favorite food. Do you know what it’s like to never even feel <strong>happy</strong>? To live in a world of grey, where everything and every day is the same?” She gave a forceful nod. “I feel human around you, Edelgard. Not like a mercenary, or a killer, but like I’m finally Byleth. And you want that for me, more than anyone else. That’s the best gift anyone has ever given me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There truly was no response possible to such a declaration, so Edelgard simply grinned…for once looking forward to celebrating her birthday.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As she rested her hand on her student’s shoulder, the hint of a smile appeared at the corner of Byleth’s lips. “Oh…and there’s one more thing I’ve learned I love.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh?” said Edelgard with curiosity. “And what’s that?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I really like it when I can make you smile.”</em>
</p><p>The Emperor began to gently shade the paper, quietly and desperately attempting to capture Byleth’s eyes-the way that the light and shadow mingled as the sun hit-</p><p>It wasn’t right. It was pretty-beautiful, even-but it wasn’t <em>Byleth. </em>It wasn’t <em>her teacher!</em> She couldn’t remember-she was forgetting her, just like she forgot her friend from Faerghus, and her mother and her family…</p><p>If Edelgard could have her teacher back, even for a moment-remember the exact feel of Byleth’s calloused fingers gently caressing her shoulder, or see the gentle curve of her neck-then the girl’s broken world would all make sense again. She swore a fruitless oath to the air, promising to never take Byleth for granted again, never spend a single moment not treasuring that woman, if the Flame Emperor could just see her for a day, an hour, even a second-</p><p>Distraught, Edelgard’s pencil slipped, leaving a mark on the page, and something within the girl snapped. She scribbled over the art in a frenzy, destroying months of labor in a single instant. Her shoulders rose and fell, and as she looked at the drawing-her pathetic substitute for the real woman, the person who seemed to become more and more unreal with each passing day-Edelgard’s soul shattered. She buried her face on the desk, and began to quietly cry, tears smudging the charcoal until Edelgard fell into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>BANG!</em>
</p><p>Instantly, the mighty Flame Emperor snapped to attention, as her door shook from the force of a blow. For a moment, her heart beat rapidly with panic, until her rational mind remembered the one person who always knocked with such overwhelming force. Feeling her heart lighten, Edelgard opened the door, to see her personal guard standing outside, a broad smile easing Ingrid’s normally severe face.</p><p>“<em>Garland Moon</em>,” muttered Ingrid Galatea with a small, sad grin. “Am I right?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded, and extended an arm to welcome her guest. “I’ve somehow managed to stumble upon every member of the Black Eagle Strike Force over the past few days. Linhardt and Lysithea kissing in the gazebo will haunt my dreams for as long as I live.” As Ingrid and Edelgard giggled, the Emperor looked around. “Do I dare ask where Sylvain is?”</p><p>“My dear, lifelong friend has much more important things on his mind tonight than me.” Ingrid rolled her eyes. “I think Fodlan will run out of flowers for the wreaths before he’s finished making a fool of himself. Last I saw him, he was trying to explain to three different girls how he’d promised them each a date tonight.”</p><p>Edelgard collapsed onto her chair. “One of the most brilliant analytical minds I’ve ever met, and yet he can’t keep his times straight.” As Ingrid began to pet Max, who let out a satisfied purr, the Flame Emperor shook her head. “So what brings you here? I was just working on some paperwork, and it’s awfully late…”</p><p>Ingrid rose from the bed slowly, and placed a rough, hardened hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I know how…difficult Garland Moon can be. I <em>hate </em>this time of year. To be surrounded by all the happiness and joy, when the person you loved is…” She paused, looking both at Edelgard and at nothing at all. “It can be very lonely.”</p><p>She began to pace, before her beautiful green eyes were drawn to Edelgard’s desk, and with dawning horror, the Flame Emperor realized what Ingrid could now clearly see. Edelgard tried to shoot to her feet, but the pegasus knight’s firm hands held her tightly.</p><p>“You’re drawing her. To try to remember…” Ingrid’s face was consumed with sadness. “Oh, Edelgard…I’m so sorry. These…these are lovely.”</p><p>“You do not have to flatter me,” muttered the embarrassed girl. “These are merely the scribblings of a useless, pathetic child, who was unable to protect the woman she loved.” She swallowed, and all her self-hatred melted into melancholy. “I can’t…I can’t get her eyes right. I’m losing her, Ingrid. Each and every day, more and more. How can I dare to say I loved her, when-“</p><p>“No. Enough. You’ve done more than enough self-flagellation for one night.” Ingrid pulled out a knapsack, and produced two containers of wine. “Now, I commandeered these incredibly ancient bottles from the Garreg Mach wine cellars. For, let’s call it…the war effort, and since both you and I would like to forget this entire blasted month…” Her cheeks turned red. “I was hoping my best friend would like to help me finish them.”</p><p>There were so many things Edelgard had sacrificed to liberate her people from their ancient shackles-her freedom, and her joy, and the quiet, peaceful sleep of an unburdened conscience. The thing she needed the most, however, was the look that Ingrid gave her, each and every day. Those green eyes were filled with belief-not just in what Edelgard did, but in who she was. It reminded the Emperor of another blond-haired friend from Faerghus. A boy who had allowed her to believe a great, beautiful lie-that there was something pure and wonderful, hidden deep inside Edelgard von Hresvelg.</p><p>“<em>Ingrid Brandl Galatea</em>. I cannot believe this utter dereliction of chivalric duty.” Edelgard’s face lit up with a teasing, gentle smile. “The most honorable, noble knight in the Empire stealing from our stores? I shall have to write a report about this.” For the briefest instant, Ingrid’s face was filled with worry, before Edelgard pulled her friend in for a hug. “It would be a genuine pleasure, my knight.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Perhaps it was the company, or the fact that Ingrid and Edelgard were infrequent drinkers, or perhaps it was the untold years that these casks had sat underneath the monastery, but the wine was <em>strong. </em>Edelgard brushed a few white strands of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes.</p><p>“You spent an entire night just to come up with the name <em>Black Eagle Strike Force?!” </em>Ingrid rocked back and forth in her chair, shaking with laughter. “And <em>what</em>, pray tell, were the other options?” She held up a hand. “Wait, wait, don’t tell me!” Her face scrunched up with concentration. “<em>Edelgard’s Eagles</em>?”</p><p>Edelgard waved her hand, trying to ignore Ingrid’s cackle. “Now, now, I…” She stumbled to her feet, her center of balance momentarily compromised. “It’s not like you can throw stones here, Ingrid. Remember the time I walked in on you pretending to be Kyphon in the training yard?” Edelgard placed a hand to her chest, impersonating a stern, low monotone. “<em>In a flash, Kyphon’s sword flew from its scabbard…the knight’s blade humming like the wind.” </em>Edelgard swung an invisible weapon in the air, filled with an uncharacteristic exuberance.</p><p>Ingrid’s already flushed face turned a deep scarlet, her long blond hair for once freed from its braid. “He’s...I was simply trying to…to embody his spirit!” As she and Edelgard’s eyes met, they both lost composure completely, laughing with a freedom and lightness that would have stunned any member of the Imperial army. Ingrid took another sip of wine. “Hard to believe that the two of us are alone on Garland Moon, is it not?”<br/>
<br/>
Green eyes met lilac, and Edelgard shook her head, frightened by the dangerous path her mind was treading. She had discarded such simple things-there was only the goal, to build a better world, and the promise to her teacher to keep the Eagles safe. Everything else was secondary. Even the immense tide of loneliness, the inescapable current that threatened to drown the girl’s meagre new-found faith. She pushed the feelings aside.</p><p>“Ingrid, listen to me. If you wished it, any man or woman in this army would be lucky to have you.” She took another drink, lips loosened by companionship. “Do you not recall how enamored Dorothea was with you?” Seeing Ingrid’s look, Edelgard waved a finger. “And don’t you dare try to deny it. She rounded all of us up, just to keep you from getting married…you gave her <em>your ring. </em>She was-“</p><p>“I know.” All the frivolity left Ingrid’s voice. “She asked me…not long after, if I was…interested.” She sank into her chair. “I told her no. Actually, I told her to ‘back off’, and…” She began to drum her fingers on Edelgard’s desk, clearly agitated. “Do you know what it’s like in Faerghus? A woman and a man create heirs with Crests, just as the Goddess decreed…and people who don’t fit into that ideal…well, they’re like a girl trying to become a knight.”</p><p>Feeling responsible for her companion’s abrupt shift in mood, Edelgard raised a hand.</p><p>“Ingrid, you are not responsible for what your country-“<br/>
<br/>
“I just…I wanted to be <em>normal!</em> To belong! My father already yelled at me for riding horses, and playing in the mud. Can you imagine what he’d have done if…if I admitted…” Ingrid bit her lip. “That part of myself was…it wasn’t right. It wasn’t supposed to exist. I was only supposed to like men, like Glenn.” She shook her head. “I pushed it all down, deeper and deeper, pretending that all those thoughts and feelings weren’t real, that they were just another lie. They were part of the bad Ingrid. The girl that was a disappointment and disgrace to her father, her friends, and everyone else…”</p><p>Edelgard filled the silence. “And then Dorothea asked you.”</p><p>Ingrid nodded. “ A woman as beautiful and kind as Dorothea asked me…opened her heart, and I made one of the greatest mistakes of my life.” She took a long, heavy drink of wine. “And now she’s happy with Petra, and I…” She lowered her head. “Goddess, what’s wrong with me? Why do I <em>always</em> make everything worse?”</p><p>Edelgard reached out an arm, and gave Ingrid’s hand a firm squeeze. “Nothing is wrong with you, Ingrid. You are perfect, just the way you are.” She looked around her lonely abode, struggling to express what her friend’s faith meant. “And believe me, you do not make everything worse. Your companionship over these past few years has been…invaluable.” The Emperor smiled, attempting to ease the oppressive weight that now hung in the room. “Let’s try a different tack-like Professor Byleth always said, difficulties are simply solutions from another angle.”</p><p>Ingrid snorted. “Of course you would say that…” Still, the Faerghus native’s mood was clearly lightened. “What did you have in mind?”</p><p>“Well, why don’t you tell me your ideal qualities in a partner, and perhaps that will give us an idea of how to proceed.”</p><p>Ingrid considered the question, hand resting on her chin. “They’d…they’d have to be intelligent, and brave. Someone who is devoted to justice, and protecting those who cannot defend themselves. And most of all, I’d like them to be kind-to care for me, just as much as I cared for them. A partner. Someone like…” She glanced at Edelgard a moment, before her normally intense gaze faltered.</p><p>The Emperor let out a quiet chuckle. “Quite the list, my friend. Still…for the picture of the knightly ideal, it should not be too difficult.” Edelgard stood and extended a gloved hand. “Regardless, you require practice. Imagine you are at an Imperial function, when the suitor of your dreams extends an invitation to dance.”</p><p>Ingrid looked at Edelgard’s arm as if were a viper. “I don’t dance. If I’m not in a saddle, I’m as graceless as a…” She let out a yelp, as the Emperor pulled her to her feet, and began to guide her through a few faltering, hesitant steps.</p><p>“Nonsense…” said Edelgard with a smile. “Anyone can be beautiful-is that not why you chose to stand by my side? To strike back against an unjust world, and show that we each can be more than what fate wishes us to be? And if we do…” She looked down at Ingrid’s feet, which were quickly adapting to the silent waltz. “Perhaps we can surprise even ourselves.”</p><p>The pegasus knight slowly raised her green eyes. “Thank you, Edelgard. It’s been so hard, standing against my country and my family, and you’ve always believed in me, even though I don’t deserve…” Contrition and a rare pang of doubt appeared on her knightly countenance. “I’m sorry about Professor Byleth. I’m sorry about everything. I…” Ingrid pushed a few stray strands behind her ear and smiled. “I guess we’re both stuck together, aren’t we?”</p><p>The Emperor and the knight leaned closer to one another, unable to resist the magnetic pull they now felt, desperate to fill the loneliness that consumed them. “My knight…I promise you will never be alone, as long as you have me.” Edelgard gazed at Ingrid’s gallant features, and striking green eyes, seeing something she had never quite grasped before. “We swore to stand beside each other until the end, and I...”  </p><p>And whether it was the wine, or her loneliness, or simply missing the feeling of a warm hand reaching out and holding hers, Edelgard leaned forward and gently kissed her best friend.</p><p>For a moment, Ingrid and Edelgard stared at each other, both taken aback by what had just occurred. Edelgard could feel the heat building on her cheeks, and the pegasus knight’s eyes widened…until she returned Edelgard’s kiss with a tender response of her own.</p><p>It had been so long. So many lonely, endless days, without feeling the warmth of another human being. Of watching silently as love bloomed all around her. She had yearned for someone to look at her with an emotion beyond fear or awe. Edelgard’s mind began to race, the guilt at this betrayal of her teacher mingling with the desperate, aching need to be vulnerable…to be held and told that she mattered.</p><p>“Edelgard…” Ingrid gasped. “We shouldn’t…this, I’m not…” And before Ingrid could stop herself, she kissed Edelgard again.</p><p>At that desperate, lonely moment, in that desperate, lonely room, neither woman cared-about the grief, or guilt, or isolation, or how they would feel about it tomorrow morning.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The early morning sun burst through the Emperor’s window, sending an awful, stabbing pain through Edelgard’s brain. This, among other reasons, was why she refused to drink, and-</p><p><em>Oh Goddess</em>. She hadn’t….</p><p>She rose in the panic, looking for her friend, only to find a stray sheet of paper lying on the desk. With a smile, Edelgard realized that her friend had used the back of a discarded scrap of parchment-even at such a moment, her friend’s frugality persisted. She looked at the note, Ingrid’s firm, determined handwriting unmistakable.</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry. You fell asleep in my arms, but I <span class="u">swear</span>, upon my honor, it went no further. You have been so strong and brave to lead us all over the past few years. Perhaps it is a courage that only people like you and I, who have lost our entire world, can truly appreciate. Though I lack Ferdinand’s eloquence, please know I both admire and love you beyond words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When I was a child, the sky was the only place I was happy. It was where I dared to be the real Ingrid-the person I was inside, free from the jeering and demands of my family and friends. The horizon was a promise of limitless possibilities, unrestricted from Crests and Faerghus and how much I hated myself. When I am around you, it feels just like I am soaring in the endless blue.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was too cowardly and craven to admit to the feelings you inspire in me, even to myself, but I do not just believe in your future-one where children are free to follow their dreams. More importantly, as the years have passed, I have come to believe in you-and the kind, warm heart that you keep hidden from the world. I always believed my sole purpose was to follow the orders of those greater than me, but you have taught me to cut my own path…and that path is by your side, as long as you will have me. You have lifted me up, each and every day, and that is why I will fight for you until my dying breath.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Professor Byleth was my idol. She was a woman who lived by her sword, but most of all, she was content with who she was. I have spent years, fussing and fretting over my friends, desperate to prove to them that I deserved their companionship, and yet, she always had an unshakable confidence in her own abilities. More importantly, she was happy with who <span class="u">I</span> was. Your faith that she will return has helped me continue through these dark days, and I cannot help believing I have betrayed the two women I care for above all others.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please forgive me for taking advantage of your momentary weakness. I know you have been waiting for her, and I selfishly used that to fill the emptiness in my own heart. I am going to the Faerghus border, as penance, and to keep myself from falling prey to this temptation. Over the past few years, as I have watched all that I once believed in fall away, you have been my rock. Whatever may come, please know that you will always have my lance, and my love.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Knight,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ingrid</em>
</p><p>Edelgard tore down the stairs, without plan or thought. She pushed past a few Imperial troops, astonished by the sight of the Emperor of Adrestia looking so frantic and disheveled. Still clutching the letter, she burst into the dining hall, causing the few Black Eagles inside to look up in alarm.</p><p>“Edie,” said Dorothea with a wink and a smile. “Why do your clothes look so rumpled? A late-night caller, perhaps?“</p><p>“I don’t have time for this, Dor. Where’s Ingrid?”</p><p>Caspar looked up from his plate, mouth still full of sausages and eggs. “I think she left a couple hours ago. Said she had to go help the troop movements at the Faerghus border” He shrugged. “She seemed really upset, and when I asked her why, she told me to mind my own business.”</p><p>Edelgard felt a great spasm of guilt consume her, and sank onto a chair. One of the few constants in Edelgard’s lonely life had been Ingrid’s companionship. Whether sparring in the training yard, teasing Sylvain and Hubert, or quietly practicing drawing together in those rare peaceful moments-Ingrid was always there. And now, the Flame Emperor had driven her away.</p><p>Edelgard rose to her feet, and all her weakness and vulnerability vanished. She turned to Hubert, who had quietly watched the scene, a mug of coffee in his hand. “How soon can I have a carriage ready to make for the northern border? I…” The Emperor clenched her fist. “I have business there.”</p><p>Hubert gave his liege a skeptical glance. “May I ask why? We have our summit with the Adrestian nobles within the fortnight, and due to Lord Arundel, the nobility are becoming…unruly. If we leave now, we may compromise our delicate hold on power.” He shook his head, concern etched on his features. “Is Lady Galatea in danger? She has stood beside you, and I swear I shall do everything in my power to aid her-“<br/>
<br/>
“She is fine.” Edelgard’s speech became mechanical. “I just…I just need to talk to her.”</p><p>Dorothea looked at Caspar, and her eyes narrowed. “Little bro…if you repeat a <em>word</em> of what you’re about to hear to anyone…even Monica…I promise you, I will break your arms with my bare hands.”</p><p>“Hey!” yelped Caspar. “Why aren’t you telling Hubert to be quiet-“<br/>
<br/>
Dorothea ignored the brawler, and leaned toward Edelgard. “Did you both…” She raised an eyebrow.</p><p>Edelgard, cowed, gave a guilty nod. “A few kisses, nothing further.” The Emperor covered her head with her hands. “I’m not sure who hates themselves for it more. Professor Byleth…”</p><p>“Would understand. Wouldn’t you agree, Hubie?” She held gave Edelgard’s hand a firm squeeze. “Edie, listen to me. I love you and Ing dearly, and neither of you did anything wrong. If I can be honest, I’m surprised it’s taken this long.” She put a hand to her chin, and gently smiled. “Then again, you <em>are</em> the two most repressed people I’ve ever met…”</p><p>Before Edelgard could respond, the door to the dining hall burst open, and a harried Imperial soldier tore toward Hubert. “Count Vestra! The Kingdom has launched an offensive at the border! Our forces are being overrun!”</p><p>Hubert rose to his feet. “How?! We’ve had no indications of Kingdom movement for the past few weeks. And to attack exactly during a troop shift…” He trailed off and looked at Edelgard. “That <em>filth</em> is aiding them. It’s the only way they could have known.”</p><p>In her heart, Edelgard knew and agreed. The war had been a slog for these four long years, and Edelgard had begun to question why and how the Kingdom had held out for so long, and always seemed prepared for the Empire’s strikes. Of course Thales would not sit idly by as Edelgard marched to victory. He wanted her back under his thumb, dependent on his support. Edelgard internally cursed, and gathered herself, gentleness hardening to grim, cold steel.</p><p>“Prepare Garreg Mach’s defenses. All members of the Strike Force will stay and defend for a Kingdom assault. Until we hear differently, we must assume Rhea and Dimitri will be taking part in this offensive, and that everyone at the northern border is lost. That includes Ingrid.” Edelgard tried to ignore the horror on Dorothea’s face, and the pain in her own heart. “Hubert, I need to talk to Lord Arundel. <em>Now.</em>”</p><p>She marched outside, as the normally placid monastery burst with chaotic activity. Imperial soldiers grasped their weapons tightly, as all traces of the joy found over the past moon were replaced by fear and resolve. The Flame Emperor was just about to depart for her chambers, when she saw a red-haired cavalier galloping toward the front gates.</p><p>“Sylvain!” Edelgard called, with all the authority and power she could muster. “Stop this instant!”</p><p>The cavalier turned back, silver spear hanging from his shoulder. He glared at Edelgard, a dangerous wildness in his eyes. For a moment, Edelgard feared he would leap from his horse and run her through.</p><p>“Don’t you <em>dare</em> try to stop me. She’s going to die without help, Edelgard. I…I need her.”</p><p>“No, Sylvain. You are a general in the Imperial army, and I will not let a valued solider, and one of my closest friends, destroy himself in a blaze of glory. Ingrid would not want you-“</p><p>“HOW DO <strong>YOU </strong>KNOW WHAT SHE’D WANT?!” Sylvain jumped from his horse and loomed above the Emperor of Adrestia. Edelgard could feel the heat of his breath on her face, but continued to scowl up at him. “YOU DIDN’T GROW UP WITH HER! WITHOUT HER, I’M-” He swallowed, and clenched his fists. “I’m nothing.” His voice quivered with emotion. “You may get to be pragmatic all the time, but I don’t toss away my friends-“</p><p>Something within Edelgard snapped. “Perhaps if you actually <em>treated </em>her as if she were valuable, instead of assuming her entire purpose in life is fixing your mistakes-“</p><p>“<em>Don’t. You. Dare</em>.” Sylvain’s eyes went eerily cold. “You…you have no idea what it was like…growing up in Faerghus, in a hell hole where my brother was pushing me down a well, and my father was sending me on ‘training missions’ to stab starving bandits.” He grabbed Edelgard’s shoulder. “I killed my first brigand at age thirteen, some poor guy who just wanted to eat, and I spent the next four days praying that I wouldn’t be damned for what I’ve done. I just wanted to stop seeing the blood…it was the last time I ever asked the Goddess for anything in my entire worthless life. Each day, she watched over me, looking as beautiful as a saint…and I realized something.”</p><p>Edelgard stared at him, trying to ignore the guilt that was crushing her chest like a vice.</p><p>“What did you realize?”<br/>
<br/>
“That all those clerics and stories were right. That I deserved to burn, but she…” There was no flippancy in Sylvain’s voice; instead, it had become rough and coarse. He didn’t sound like a noble-he sounded like his brother. “She was always up there, soaring in the sky…” He fruitlessly gestured to the air. “And if I dared to touch her…I’d drag her down with me. She was…<em>is</em> everything pure and good in this world, and I love her too damn much to ruin her. You’re like me-broken people like us shouldn’t…” He grabbed Edelgard’s shoulder. “Goddess, Edelgard, I love her so much that it hurts. Like a sword in my damn chest, each time I see her. I can’t…I can’t let her die.”</p><p>“Sylvain…” Edelgard could not meet his eyes. “I promise you, she doesn’t want you throwing your life away.” The Emperor could barely keep her voice steady. “I…I love her too.”</p><p>“Oh, no, no, no.” Sylvain wagged his finger, incensed. “You don’t get to pull that card on me. You know why she’s in danger now? She gave up her relic, all because of your damn ideals. She gave up <em>everything</em>, because she believed in you. We both did. If she dies today…her blood is on your hands, Edelgard.” He frowned. “Then again, I suppose a lot of people’s is.”</p><p>As Sylvain and Edelgard glowered at one another, Hubert loomed above the group. He was always there, shielding Edelgard, no matter the circumstance. “Is there a problem, Your Majesty?” A miasma of dark energy danced on his fingertips as gave Sylvain a terrifying stare.</p><p>“No, Hubert,” whispered the Flame Emperor, eyes still fixed on her friend. “I think Sylvain and I understand each other perfectly.” She broke away, knowing what she must do. For a brief instant, she stopped, but did not turn around. “I’ll bring her back safe. I swear to you on the graves of my siblings, that I <em>will</em> bring her back, no matter the cost. Stay here, and defend Garreg Mach.”<br/>
<br/>
“Fine. I’m going to trust you, because…because I know you care for her as well.” Sylvain nodded, his voice regaining its normal, casual tone. “And if you don’t, if you’re playing me for a fool…Dimitri and the Archbishop are going to be the least of your problems.”</p><p>Edelgard turned around, lilac eyes blazing with fervor. “My friend, when she returns…you have to promise me something.”<br/>
<br/>
Sylvain stepped forward, a painful, immense desperation in his voice. “If you…I’ll dance naked in front of the Immaculate One, if that’s what it takes. Just make sure she’s safe.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor sighed. “Stop pretending you’re not worthy of her. Stop believing that by damning yourself, you are making some honorable, grand sacrifice. I can tell you that all she has wished, for years, is to know how deeply you care for her. All she has wanted is to feel beautiful.” Edelgard paused, emotion overwhelming her ability to speak. “Just…just tell her exactly what you told me.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>After Edelgard’s denunciation before the battle of Garreg Mach, the Emperor had wished to cut all ties to Thales and his men. It had taken many heated arguments, and impassioned pleas from Hubert to prevent her immediately launching an offensive against the fiends. Edelgard could not help but feel it was a betrayal of the trust Byleth had shown in her, but Hubert, as always, was impeccable in his reasoning.</p><p>“Lady Edelgard…” he had claimed, with that same infuriating logic. “A chained beast is much less dangerous than a monster left to its own devices.”</p><p>Of course, thought Edelgard as she walked toward the agreed-upon rendezvous point, that course of reasoning depended upon who was holding the chain, and who was the beast. She turned back to her two companions-the maximum amount that Hubert could transport over such a great distance.</p><p>“Shamir. If I do not return within the hour, you are to return to Hubert by foot. Tell him this message-<em>Only girls can ride a pegasus</em>. He will know what it means, and what he needs to do.”</p><p>Shamir looked at Edelgard for a moment, a brief twinkle of merriment hidden behind her laconic features. “You and Hubert have secret codes…Of course you do.” She gripped her bow tightly. “It’ll be done, Edelgard. Promise.”</p><p>The Emperor turned to Jeritza, who was silently watching the peaceful greenery of the forest. For an instant, the Flame Emperor felt a pang of regret, but pushed the feelings down. “Jeritza. Ensure Shamir returns safely. And if anyone or anything gets in your way…” She clenched her fist. “Kill them.”</p><p>Jeritza’s face twitched for a moment, the only response the hulking man made. His scythe rested on his shoulder, ebony incongruously gleaming in the light of day. With a deep sigh, Edelgard turned toward the darkened expanse of forest, before momentarily stopping.</p><p>“Shamir. Jeritza.” The Flame Emperor’s voice was chilled to ice. “When I return, you must ask me a question.”</p><p>Shamir’s eyes narrowed. “What do you-“</p><p>“Something only I would know. Ask me…” Her harsh voice faltered. “Ask me what question haunts me, late at night.”</p><p>The archer let out a hum of acknowledgement, and waited. Edelgard turned back to face her two soldiers, clutching the dagger that never left her side. She thought of the only person left who called her El, of dancing in a Faerghus courtyard and nights together underneath the northern stars, and most of all, of the innocence and purity that now seemed as shrouded and inaccessible as her memories. There was the girl she wished to be, and the person that Fodlan needed. The gulf between widened as she traveled each stride of her solitary, bloodstained journey.</p><p>“Each night, I wonder if my oldest friend would hate what I have become.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard waited in the gloomy clearing, grateful that she no longer had to wear the damned mask. Still, the disguise had one advantage-Edelgard did not have to worry about hiding the nervousness in her lilac eyes. She gripped her steel ax, and waited.</p><p>“So…” a cold, reptilian voice was behind her, whispering in her ear. “You dare to come crawling back, after all your little principled speeches. What would your friends say? What would the Fell Star-“<br/>
<br/>
“If you finish that sentence…” The Flame Emperor snarled, “I’ll remove your limbs from your body, and leave you for the beasts to pick at.”</p><p>A brief spasm of hatred appeared on the pale demon’s countenance, before it was replaced by a look of pride. “One setback, and all your ideals fall away. This is good-you recognize your true place, your true purpose…” His face was empty of warmth, like moonlight on the winter snow. “So what do you want, little El? What can I do for my <em>favorite</em> niece?”</p><p>Edelgard tried to ignore the bile that threatened to erupt from deep within her. “I know you have been surreptitiously aiding the Kingdom forces, keeping this continent locked in an endless stalemate, and delaying my victory. I know you have pawns, slithering inside Garreg Mach.” She glared up at him. “It ends. Now.”</p><p>A brief flash of amusement could be seen in the black, vacant voids that passed for Thales’ eyes, and he let out a long, howling laugh. “Are you making demands of <em>me</em>? Do you truly believe your position justifies such arrogance? Already, the whispers grow in the halls of the Imperial nobility…of your youth, and inexperience, and whether the new Emperor’s reach overextends her grasp.”</p><p>He leaned forward, and grabbed the girl’s shoulder.</p><p>“All this time, I have allowed you the delusion that all of this…”</p><p>He began to squeeze.</p><p>“All your pathetic flopping about…”</p><p>Harder, and harder, and harder.</p><p>“Like a fish gasping for air…”</p><p>He wouldn’t stop. Stronger and stronger, harsher and harsher. His face contorted into that awful, appalling shape that haunted the midnight shadows in Edelgard’s chambers.</p><p>“Was not all <strong>part of my plan</strong>!”</p><p>Edelgard reached out her arm, and with a strength born from a bottomless anger and dread, stuck her tormentor with all the power her closed fist and twin Crests could muster. Thales staggered back, blood dripping from his nose.</p><p>“That’s good.” He whispered, still grinning. “That’s good.” A strange look of pride gleamed in his eyes. “You’re just like me. We’re family, after all.”</p><p>Edelgard looked down at the stains on her gloves. “We are <em>not</em> family. I am <em>nothing </em>like you. I am-“</p><p>“Are you so sure?” Thales tilted his head, and looked away. “Once…I was like you. When the heteromorphic beasts ruled this world, I chose to be idealistic. To believe that there was a path of peace. I believed that we could share the light.” The monster clenched his fist. “When we launched the great javelins of light…I protested, believing it a step too far. Do you know what the False God did?”</p><p>Edelgard simply stood silently, fingers never loosening from her weapon.</p><p>“She sent the javelins back. Wiped out the people of Malum. Septum. And Lilum…where my daughter lived. I searched for her…for days…fingers bleeding and raw as I searched the rubble. When I finally found her body, she crumbled to dust in my very hands.”  Thales turned back to Edelgard, an undying hatred in every word. “I swore that all the children of the False God would die, along with all those who remained in the light. I fashioned countless empty vessels, my progeny, meant only to be filled with undying, unquenchable vengeance.”<br/>
<br/>
“Monica…” Edelgard whispered. She regained her poise. “The future does not belong to you, or the children of the Goddess. The new dawn belongs to the people, free of your machinations, and I will deliver it to them.” She swallowed, hesitant to speak the words. “Now, if you are finished with your ravings…I require the power of the weapon you prepared for me.”</p><p>“Oh, do you? When you refused it, all those years ago?” Thales’ lip curled into a sneer. “What will the Galatea and Gautier children say, after they gave up their own weapons in your name? All their misplaced trust in you…”<br/>
<br/>
“I have moved beyond those concerns.” The Flame Emperor stared forward, cool eyes unblinking. “As more blood wets my feet, they grow heavier with each step. And yet, I continue to stride, because there is no turning back from the path I have chosen. I will not say it again…” She stared at this fiend with all the loathing she could muster. “Give me <em>the damn ax</em>.”</p><p>Thales watched the Flame Emperor, with what seemed for a moment to be fear in those murky, black orbs. Then in an instant, it was gone. “Of course. The weapon shall be at Garreg Mach when you return. Strike down the legacy of the False God, and all her children, with my blessing. But little Emperor…” He smiled, inspiring a fresh wave of nausea in Edelgard’s gut. “You will do something for <strong>me</strong>, in return.”</p><p>“And if I refuse?”</p><p>“Then your pretty little pegasus knight, well…Cornelia may personally deliver her to the King and the Archbishop. After all…” he placed an aberrantly long finger to his chin and began to hum. “They have started up that dreadfully barbaric practice of executing heretics and traitors in the public square, have they not? Such senseless fanaticism…” He shook his head, with all the joy of a wild beast playing with its prey.</p><p>The Flame Emperor knew this was coming. It was why Thales had waited, a viper in the grass, until he knew that one of the Black Eagles was in danger. Edelgard had blundered into his trap, with all the misplaced arrogance and confidence she had shown that night in Remire. Had she grown at all? Byleth would be ashamed. The girl could only watch Thales, as he ranted with religious fervor.</p><p>“You will be given Aymr, the great weapon we have created-like you, a misshapen, artificial abomination. Just as we forged you, from blood and magic, we pulled apart countless relics …and just like you, it is a force of immense, appalling power.” He placed both skeletal hands on her shoulder, and smiled. “In return, when you conquer this world, you will leave me the relics-Failnaught. Luin. Areadbhar. All <strong>mine</strong>. And afterwards…”</p><p>Edelgard stared at the grinning demon. For a brief instant, the girl thought of refusing, until she remembered Ingrid’s letter-still sitting in a pocket next to her heart. She thought of her friend’s belief in her goodness. She remembered the promise she had made to Byleth, to keep the Black Eagles safe. If blackening her soul with lies and sins meant a friend’s safety, there was no choice at all. The Flame Emperor reached out a hand, and sank further into the pit.</p><p>“It will be done.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Ingrid blocked the incoming strike with the steel of her lance, steel rippling from the strain. Without her relic, she was nowhere near the combatant she had been, and the hulking Church of Seiros soldier she now faced was eager to take advantage of that weakness.</p><p>“Fall back to Ladislava and Randolph’s position! Now!” the knight screamed, as the few remaining Imperial soldiers attempted to limp away. A few of the braver men stopped, only to be intimidated by the fury in the girl’s eyes. “That’s an order!”</p><p>The distraction allowed her opponent to grab the girl’s long, blond hair and yank her to the ground. In an instant, his sword pierced her leg, pain shooting through Ingrid’s body. She fell, the mud and the blood mixing on her red Imperial armor. For a brief instant, her mind flashed back to the courtyard of Garreg Mach. What had Catherine always told her? <em>Do whatever it takes to survive. Sink your teeth into their throats, if you must. </em>Ingrid had once thought such tactics dishonorable, unworthy of a true knight, but as she thought of Dorothea, Edelgard, and Sylvain, she realized she didn’t care anymore. It was him or her.</p><p>Knighthood was all Ingrid had left. Men like Kyphon and Loog were so different then her, and there was nothing in the world that Ingrid Galatea wished to be less than herself. She knew her beloved stories of chivalry were romantic and impractical. That did not matter when Glenn had died, and the most terrifying quest, the greatest beast to slay, was to walk out into the light of a world that had taken the only person who seemed to like Ingrid for who she actually was. The stories filled the emptiness-gave sense back to a senseless world. Kyphon and Loog were brave, and Ingrid was terrified; they were strong, and she was weak; and they protected their friends, while Ingrid had allowed Glenn to die. And so the scared, heartbroken little girl played dress-up, and hoped that no one would ever realize how pitiful she truly was.</p><p>And now she had forsaken all those ideals, fighting against her king, her god, and her people; she had betrayed every vow of friendship and oath of loyalty she had sworn to uphold. All in the name of what she believed was right-to defend the weak, and the powerless, and the voiceless. All because Edelgard had told her that the greatest calling she had was not as a knight, or a wife, but as Ingrid. That faith was why she fought, and bled, and killed, while wearing the crimson colors of the Empire.</p><p>The fanatic raised his sword, bellowing some invocation for the Goddess. With all her strength, Ingrid drove her other leg into the man’s groin, causing him to crumple to his knees. In an instant, and with the instinct of a child raised in the casual brutality of Faerghus, she ran him through with her spear. He futilely gasped for a moment, before going still.</p><p>Ingrid turned, and saw that many of her fellow soldiers had managed to retreat, but not all. They were staggering, stumbling, many with grievous wound and injuries, and the horde of her former countrymen was only gaining in size and strength. She couldn’t walk on her wounded limb. There was no other choice. No other option. She would hold them off. Die with honor, just like him.</p><p>Ingrid looked around the desolate clearing, where she would make this grand, glorious final stand. No one would hear of this story…no one would celebrate her end. She pushed down the fear welling inside her, finally understanding that old, ever-present tempest in Dimitri’s eyes. She fashioned a makeshift barricade from the corpse of her pegasus, and waited, spear pointed at the approaching sound of her enemies. For a brief instant, she looked up at the blue sky above. She couldn’t even remember him-not really-and yet she could not help but wonder and hope that Glenn was watching, and was proud.</p><p>The girl’s body remained taut; weapon raised against the familiar Faerghus pines. The noises grew louder and louder, the voices of the enemy soldiers more and more crazed. What was happening? Even for the most fanatical members of the Church of Seiros, this was-</p><p>A few combatants burst into the hollow, screaming, not with bloodlust, but with terror. They ran past the stunned Ingrid. She had watched many a man die over the past few bloody years, but she had never seen such fear, even on the battlefield. Ingrid’s mind fell back to stories from her childhood, of the monsters that lurked in the darkened recesses of the northwoods, where no human should ever go.</p><p>“It’s…she…isn’t human!” screeched one of the enemy, dropping his weapon in his distress. He slipped and fell in the mud, stumbling on his hands and knees in his desperation to get away.</p><p>Behind him, the screams grew louder.</p><p>A phalanx of soldiers, sensing their opportunity, circled the pegasus knight, spears and swords raised. Their foremost concern was not Ingrid, however, but whatever fiend from hell now pursued them. Over and over, both Ingrid and the enemy soldiers listened as the sound approached. The cacophony echoed through the trees, until the corpse of a Faerghus soldier was sent flying through the air at tremendous speed. With a sickening crack, he collided with a nearby oak, every bone in his body shattering.</p><p>A figure emerged from the shadows, cloaked in a blood-red dress, with a crimson cape trailing behind her. On her head rested a horned, golden crown, ethereal hair tied in two white buns. In her hands was a massive, gruesome ax, a curling, deformed claw that seemed to twist and coil of its own volition. Both the ax and crown were flecked with blood. The figure’s purple eyes had hardened into something cold and dreadful, something immensely unnerving. Ingrid could not recognize her best friend.</p><p>One of the more brash soldiers moved toward Ingrid, sword drawn. “If you come any closer,” he snarled. “The traitor’s dead!“</p><p>“I will give you one chance to lay down your arms.” Edelgard’s expression did not change. “If you do not, if you persist on this path-nothing will save you.”</p><p>The soldiers looked from one to another, attempting to hide their fear behind an unconvincing bravado. “You’re outnumbered. There’s fifteen of us, and even you-”</p><p>The Flame Emperor raised her demonic ax, gleaming an unearthly crimson. “Remorse. Resentment. Despair…I have dispensed with all such things to come this far.” The Flame Emperor still stared ahead. “If you stand against me, or harm a hair on Ingrid’s head, the only consequence will be another fifteen souls on my conscience.” At the sound of her name, Ingrid could see all that grim, hardened steel melt for a single instant. And as quickly as it came, that softness was gone.</p><p>Many of the men were cowed by the Emperor’s words, and paused as a wave of relief seemed to pass through the clearing. Until, with an audacity and rashness borne from fanatical hatred, one of the soldiers quickly raised his spear, preparing to run Ingrid through. As time slowed, and her life danced in front of her eyes, the girl felt a strange peace. That is, until her executioner’s scream of vengeance turned to agony, as Edelgard’s spell set him aflame.</p><p>He stumbled about wildly, distracting his companions for a brief second, which was all the Flame Emperor needed. Her ax cleaved one of the many soldiers, his body contorted and broken from the force of the blow. Two of his companions leapt forward, their arms deflecting off the Emperor’s new weapon. The ruler of Adrestria drove the hilt of her ax into one of the combatant’s stomachs, crumpling him to his knees, before eliminating the threat with a single, ruthless strike. As his companion stared in horror, the Flame Emperor sent the woman flying with a swing of her arm. The enemy landed face down in the mud, and remained still.</p><p>Ingrid could only watch as Edelgard seemed to pick up speed, moving with a strange and halting grace. Time began to blur-the Flame Emperor appearing to travel between enemies in the blink of an eye. As soldier after soldier was cut down in a raging storm of destruction, Edelgard’s eyes never changed or wavered, focused solely on this grim task.</p><p>Most of the enemy had fallen or fled, but a hulking swordsman battled Edelgard for a moment, sparks flying as his steel blade collided with the hardened scales of the relic ax. He pushed against the weapon for a moment, and a lanceman attempted to strike a blow to the exposed Flame Emperor’s back. Ingrid grabbed her own spear, and with all the strength she could muster, drove the makeshift projectile through the man’s chest.</p><p>Edelgard was still pressing the weight of her weapon downward on the final foe, her unholy strength making victory an inevitability. There was a look of immense panic in the eyes of the enemy swordsman, as his blade bent, deformed, and finally shattered. He had only a moment to react before the full power of Edelgard’s ax came down upon his head.</p><p>As the brief battle finished, the carnage that lay around the clearing was devastating. Ingrid stumbled forward, unable to see her friend’s face. Edelgard’s back rose and fell as she stood in the middle of the devastation she had created. The pegasus knight reached out a hand, only for Edelgard to spin around, body and mind still clearly enmeshed in the cruelty of combat. The Emperor reflexively raised her ax, and Ingrid could not help but flinch. Instantly, recognition flashed over Edelgard’s face, and her lilac eyes softened with remorse.</p><p>“Edelgard…” whispered Ingrid. “You’re safe. It’s me.”</p><p>“My knight.” Edelgard’s voice was reduced to a weak, faltering gasp. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. You…you should stay away.” Splotches of blood marred her pale cheek. “I’ve tried to be the person you and Byleth believe me to be…I’ve tried to be good…but I’m not. This is what I truly am. What I was all along. A weapon of hideous and terrible strength. I’m…I’m not meant for anything else. Why else did the Goddess let me live, when someone as good and beautiful as Byleth-“ She could not choke out the final words.</p><p>The pegasus knight looked at the weapon in her friend’s hand, and the fear and isolation that hung over the Emperor of Adrestia like a funeral shroud. The same guilt and unanswerable questions that had weighed down Ingrid’s heart since Glenn had died. Only one thought came to her mind: Edelgard had done this…stained those hands…for her. The knight grabbed Edelgard, arms attempting to shield her friend from the world that had hurt them both so deeply. She could feel the tension in the Flame Emperor’s body release, as the knight held her distraught friend.</p><p>“It’s…it’s okay. You’re not a monster. You’re not a weapon.” She rested her head against Edelgard’s, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. “You’re Edelgard. You’re my friend.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe you cut your hair!”</p><p>Ingrid gave Edelgard an unusually bashful grin, her short blond hair gleaming in the sun. “I was nearly impaled because of that damn braid, and well…it’s time I stop allowing the expectations of others to shape my life. This is my choice.” She held up a few strands of the Emperor’s silver hair. “I like the hair buns, by the way. It suits you.”</p><p>“I can’t cut it. My hair…it’s the last link to…to…” Edelgard searched fruitlessly for a response. “To who I used to be.” She shook her head, and pushed aside the documents on her desk. “May we talk about the events of-“ A spasm of frustration crossed her face. “Forgive me...the words seem to evade me more and more, as the days pass.”</p><p>“I believe that feeling is contagious.” Ingrid began to blush, and waved a hand. “I love you. I don’t care if anything comes of it. I just had to…to speak it out loud. To make it real. If I didn’t, I’d regret it for the rest of my life, just like with Dorothea.” She lowered her head. “I meant every word I said in that letter, but if it causes you discomfort-“</p><p>“Ingrid. I love you as well.” Edelgard grasped her friend’s hand tightly. “If…if our world was not what it is…if I did not know that by running away, I would be dooming so many children like us to lives without hope, dignity or purpose…” She gave her knight’s fingers a gentle squeeze. “I would flee with you in a heartbeat. Knowing that I have you by my side, as I sink further into the blood and muck…some days, it is the only thing I can grasp.” She hesitated for a moment. “Ingrid. There is something you must know.”</p><p>The pegasus knight gave her friend a worried glance, and waited.</p><p>“I would never betray a friend’s confidence, but I feel…I feel I must. I am not the only person with feelings for you. Sylvain…he cares for you, just as much as I do.” Edelgard tried to keep her voice steady. “I love you, Ingrid. And whatever I may wish, you need…you need to live your life without wondering each day if Professor Byleth is going to walk through the door.” She turned to Ingrid, and smiled, her eyes glassy. “You deserve to be free, my knight. More than anyone I have ever met.”</p><p>“Edelgard…I…”</p><p>There was a hesitant knock on the door, shattering the anxiety that hung over the room. With a final, reluctant glance, Ingrid opened the door. In the entryway stood Sylvain, carefully holding two bouquets of roses. He rubbed the back of his head, and smiled.</p><p>“How are my two favorite ladies doing? I…” He repeatedly tried to meet Ingrid’s stare, each attempt causing his eyes to sink to the floor. For a moment, he swallowed and gathered himself before launching into a clearly prepared declaration. “Ingrid…I need to talk to you. There’s…there’s things I have to say. About you and me, and how sorry I am for how I’ve treated you. The only thing I deserve is for Lysithea to use me for target practice, but I just…” He extend the bouquet. “I’ve spent my life searching for you, when you were in front of me the whole-“ He caught himself, and began to laugh. “I suppose I’m kinda saying all of it now, aren’t I?”</p><p>Ingrid let out a soft, gentle laugh. “I suppose you are, you fool.”</p><p>A silence fell over the room, and Sylvain offered the second set of flowers to Edelgard. He winked at her for a moment, before his face grew serious. “Listen…I may have said some things to you that weren’t fair. I wouldn’t fight for you, if I didn’t believe you weren’t one of the best damn people I’ve ever met-“ He paused and smiled. “Even if you cheat at chess.”</p><p>“I’ll ignore that comment.” Edelgard’s eye fell on Aymr, resting against the wall of her room. “If anyone should be apologizing for betraying your trust…it should be me. That weapon is a symbol of my compromises and failures…and after you gave up your birthrights, your last link to your families…” She lowered her head.</p><p>Sylvain smiled, and wrapped his arm around Edelgard. “Listen here, Your Majesty, or Your Highness, or whatever the hell Hubert wants me to call you…my father’s big moment of parental affection was sending the Black Eagles to kill the rest of Miklan’s bandit buddies. After what you did for us, the only family Ingrid and I need is the one at Garreg Mach.”</p><p>Edelgard smiled, hiding the pain that was welling inside her heart. “Well, as your house leader, I must point out it is still Garland Moon, and I believe you two have quite a bit of lost time to make up for…” She gave them both a forced smile. “Go and take a night’s leave together. Emperor’s orders.”</p><p>The knight bit her lip, before turning to Sylvain and smiling. For a moment, she hesitated before the two former Lions made their way to the door.</p><p>“Ingrid.” Edelgard’s voice stopped the pegasus knight. “Before you leave…I have something for you.” The Flame Emperor carefully took a pair of her old purple ribbons, and handed them to her friend. “For your hair…so that when you’re…you’re up there…you’ll know that I’m always with you.”</p><p>Ingrid was speechless, her green eyes welling with emotion. Before she could mutter a protest, Sylvain placed a battle-scarred hand on her shoulder and smiled. Slowly, Ingrid allowed her friend to tie gently tie the gift in her beautiful blond hair. She looked in the mirror, a splash of purple against her crimson armor, and smiled.</p><p>“Drawing practice with Bernadetta tomorrow?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded, and for a brief moment, she allowed their fingers to intertwine. “Of course…I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”</p><p>As Ingrid and Sylvain departed, the Emperor stood, in her lonely, sparse room. The ancient Hresvelg motto resonated in her mind-<em>Faith Shall Be Your Shield. </em>Ingrid and Sylvain and the Black Eagle Strike Force…they trusted her. Saw something good that Edelgard herself could not. Perhaps it was just like her faith in her teacher’s return-a futile belief without reason or sense, destined to end in the same silence that had shattered El’s soul in the dungeons of Enbarr-but it gave her the strength to fight, and to try to carry on. She gently tapped Ingrid's letter, resting in her breast pocket, before carefully removing the Imperial crown from her head. With renewed purpose, she pulled out her old pencils and paper, and started a new sketch of her teacher.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapter title actually comes from Fire Emblem Heroes, of all things, where Edelgard tells another character that "My Crests are the product of a world in which the mark of a goddess determines a person's worth. That is what such a world is bound to produce. Hideous strength like mine." </p><p>The concept of Ingrid in red Imperial armor with Edelgard's ribbons in her hair is my gift to the Edelgrid community. May the thought bring you as much joy as it did me. Seriously, though, one of the many reasons I wish the two of them had a support conversation, and what I've tried to bring out in this fic, is that Edelgard and Ingrid are both driven to take on these personas of emperor and knight because of their immense, immense survivor's guilt. It's the only way they can function-as Edelgard says, "after those procedures...I distanced myself from the ordinary world," while Ingrid tells Bernie "There was a time I acted much the same as you...I spent many hours locked away in my own room." Their mutual PTSD tied in so well with the moral compromises that Aymr, and Edelgard's war in general, represents.</p><p>In a chapter about people playing roles, it seemed natural to bring up the question of Ingrid's sexuality. I believe pretty strongly she was always intended to be a closeted character. Obviously, in such a case a character is never going to come out and say "I'm closeted", but Ingrid's confusing, mercurial interactions with Dorothea, her support with Ignatz ("Shorten up her skirt!"), and perhaps most tellingly, her reaction to Sylvain flirting with a man in their supports, which Treehouse, in their infinite wisdom, decided to change to a "scarecrow", all fit the pattern. If you come from a certain type of religious background, much of this behavior makes quite a bit of sense, unfortunately.</p><p>As always, thank you for taking the time to read, comment, or leave kudos, and I'll see you next time-Byleth's big return!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Year Five: Sunrise with You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> <em>Byleth…open your eyes…she’s waiting for you…</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>The last thing you remember is the fire, and the pain. Garreg Mach was burning, Edelgard was hurt, and the Immaculate One had set every part of you aflame. You were tumbling, falling…and then there was just the darkness. It is not the first time you were consumed by the infinite blackness of the abyss, but now, there was no Sothis to save you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then the dreams began.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The flow of time carries you along, and all you can do is drift in the endless current. You have seen them all-glimpses of the choices you could have made, the paths you could have walked. The Deer, the Lions, the Church-you have sided with each of them, even as the memories and moments slip through your fingers like grains of sand. Are they warnings? Nightmares? It is impossible to say.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There is only one constant, one inevitability you cannot escape, no matter how deeply it wounds the void where your heart should beat:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard always dies.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ferdinand von Aegir lowers his tea, and smiles at you with a winning, charismatic grin. His white teeth gleam in the bright sun of Garreg Mach. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Professor-excuse me, I mean Archbishop.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>There is an awkward pause, and you dismiss his words with a flick your hand. The title fits you as poorly as the Archbishop’s regalia. With Edelgard and Hubert’s betrayal, Ferdinand had taken on the role of unofficial leader of the Black Eagles. Following the conclusion of the war, he now was responsible for much of Adrestia’s administration, and visits between the two of you were more and more frequent. He shakes his head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I suppose old routines are hard to break.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It seems that there is more he wishes to say, but the words are unable to escape his throat. You have learned over the years that when people become quiet like this, the best thing to do is wait until they are ready to speak. So that is what you do. Finally, he finds his voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You know…even after all this time, I compare myself to her. Question if I have become strong enough, brave enough, changed this world as much as she has.” You immediately know who he means. “The Hresvelgs are gone. My father is dead. And now I, Ferdinand von Aegir, am all that remain. My entire life’s work, my legacy, is to simply restore the nobility she destroyed. She tossed it aside so easily, so casually...” He pauses. “Even now, she seems beyond my power to surpass.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You shift in your seat uncomfortably. There are emotions that Ferdinand is feeling, some great tide hiding under the surface, but you are unaware of what it all means. How could a vessel with no heartbeat know or understand what lies in a person’s soul? It is just as unanswerable a question as why the Sword of the Creator had run Edelgard through. Finally, you say the only thought that springs into your disordered mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Are you angry with her?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ferdinand was in the midst of raising his tea to his lips, but stops as if struck by an bolt of lightning. His vibrant orange hair shines in the reflection of his brew. “I was supposed to guide her. That was my entire purpose for existing. And I failed her. I believe that nobility…” he waves his arm, searching for something inexpressible. “My father was a craven, selfish man. I do not regret his death. However, he was correct in one way.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And what is that?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Whatever you wish to call it-the Goddess, fate, destiny-we each have been given a station. Farmers farm, and singers sing…and nobles guide the people, with justice and prudence.” He shakes his head. “It is an immense responsibility. Leadership is a burden that not any man can foster. Look at those unfortunate nobles from Faerghus. Gautier. Fraldarius. Galatea…all dead, because their ruler led them on a reckless, suicidal charge at Gronder.” His face is as stern and impassive as you have ever seen it. “He valued his own desires and ideals over the lives of his subjects…just as Edelgard did the people of Adrestia.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You grasp your head, as a wave of nausea overtakes you. This isn’t right. Ingrid and Ferdinand have spent countless evenings excitedly discussing weapon maintenance. Ferdinand and Sylvain are affable rivals, pushing each other to greater and greater heights. They are his friends. How can he talk of their death so casually? What world is this? Your student continues, distracted by his own turmoil.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It reminds me of the Edmund girl.” He looks down at his drink. “They found her body in the river a few months ago, with stones in her pockets. I cannot understand how anyone could choose to waste…” He stares at you, the bright afternoon sun incongruous with the anguish on his face. “Her life did not just belong to her! After being given so much, she…she had a responsibility!” He tries to collect himself, and shakes his head. “I once tried to impress upon her the importance of her role, but…” He gives a long sigh. “Like Edelgard’s choices, it is beyond my ability to understand.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You cannot decide if you are more horrified by Marianne’s fate, or Ferdinand’s reaction. You remember watching them the night of the ball-as they danced in each other’s arms with such bliss, even an emotionless husk like you could not help but smile. They seemed to float over the dance floor; Marianne’s eyes no longer haunted, Ferdinand’s no longer weighed down by so much expectation. They needed each other, and in this world, you had failed them as both a teacher and a friend. Just like you failed Edelgard.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The words form on your lips before you realize what you are saying.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Do you think Edelgard threw her life away? Like Marianne did?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The noblest of nobles freezes, and stares at you, eyes unblinking. “She was given a duty with her station. To lead the people, and guide them forward. And instead she plunged this world into chaos for reasons I still cannot fathom. I…I just keep thinking that if I had been more… she would have listened to me, instead of that…that…” His fist collides with the table. “That devil Vestra whispering in her ear, and poisoning her thoughts! Perhaps she would have stood down!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But…Hubert is your best friend, Ferdinand. You-” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He stares at you for a moment, utterly scandalized. “I…friends with…with him? I would never associate with such a cowardly, egotistical...” He collects himself and leans toward you, filled with distress. “Even if I desired it…my position does not allow such things. I am a noble. I command, and I guide, and I lead. Alone. That is what I have been called to do, by the will of the Goddess and the expectations of my name.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You are afraid if you open your mouth, you will vomit. This is not your Ferdinand. For all his posturing and dramatics…there was always an immense inner light and warmth. In this world, Edelgard and Hubert’s betrayal has destroyed something irreplaceable, deep within him. The man gives you an insincere smile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Edelgard wished to disturb the order of the continent. To eliminate the very foundations of our society. That was her dream, and I do not begrudge her that choice…” He pauses and takes a long sip of his tea. “But we cannot escape our fate. There comes a time when we all must <strong>wake up, Professor.</strong>” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You stare at him for a moment, as the edges of the world become hazy. There is something you need to do. There is somewhere you need to be…a promise you made. And then Ferdinand speaks, and you sink back to this sad, squalid universe. One without Ingrid, or Lysithea, or Sylvain, or Marianne, or Hubert, or Edelgard.</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>As much as we may try to run from our destinies, in the end we must be who we are. Whatever I wish, ultimately, I am an Aegir. That supersedes everything; that is the destiny the Goddess chose for me.” He smiles at you. “I suppose in that way, we are not different, Archbishop.”</em></p><p>
  <em>You push an unwanted strand of green hair out of your eyes, and rest your hand on the place your heart should beat.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“You know, Ludwig, I must commend you. It truly was a cunning scheme.”</p><p>The ancient, palatial library of the Aegirs was cavernous and dim, even in the middle of day. Each movement seemed to jostle a new cascade of dust off the unused hoard of tomes that belonged to the former Prime Minister. Edelgard stared down at the corpulent man with a loathing that threatened to erupt at any moment. Ingrid could clearly sense her friend’s turmoil, and edged closer to the Emperor. The gesture was enough to soothe the tumult in the Flame Emperor’s heart, and she continued.</p><p>“We have spent <em>years</em>, wondering who was infiltrating Garreg Mach-chasing after shadowy assassins and disguises, wondering how my enemies could constantly be kept abreast of every development…” She leaned forward. “And all this time, it was just you, using the oldest and most prosaic system possible: bribing the weak, and the greedy, and the stupid…all to curry favor with Lord Arundel, and hasten a return to power. Your motives are nothing if not predictable.”</p><p>He glared at the assembled party, but remained silent, unwilling to incriminate himself further. Next to the Emperor and her bodyguard, Ferdinand von Aegir loomed above his diminished predecessor. The noble’s body trembled with an immense fury. If Marianne was not there, her presence acting as a consolation for the man she loved, it seemed likely that the young man would have already assaulted his father.</p><p>Ludwig von Aegir’s face contorted into a sneer. Ignoring the Emperor, he glared at his son. “Is this how my efforts are rewarded? All the education, and training, and money, all my investment…just to watch my only legitimate heir become the Hresvelg girl’s lapdog? You are a disgrace to the name Aegir, and to your noble blood!”</p><p>Edelgard could see her friend attempt to hide the impact of the insult, but he was deeply wounded. For once, his proud expression faltered, and Ferdinand could only stare at the ancient wooden floor of the Aegir mansion. Uniquely sensitive to the pain of a father’s disappointment, an enraged Ingrid stepped forward to defend her comrade…only to be interrupted by another’s words. Marianne was the great Holy Knight of the Empire, cherished by the Imperial soldiers for her gentleness and compassion…but Edelgard had never seen her dear friend this incensed.</p><p>“How <em>dare </em>you!” Marianne jabbed a finger in Ludwig von Aegir’s face. “How dare you speak of Ferdinand that way! Every morning, the first thing I do is thank the Goddess for bringing someone as wonderful as that man into my life.” Her grey eyes sparkled. “He thinks everyone is special, no matter who they are, or how insignificant they feel. He even believed in someone like me. There…there’s more goodness in his thumb than there is in your entire worthless body!” Her tirade was cut off as Ferdinand placed a hand on her shoulder, eyes welling with emotion.</p><p>“Is this what you do now, son? You allow this cow to speak for you?” The bald man scoffed, bravado substituting for dignity. “I hope you know what your betrayal of our family has cost you. Remember when I allowed you to break your engagement to the worthless Varley heir?”</p><p>The room went silent, and Ferdinand leaned forward.</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“I was going to give you both the crown and the Hresvelg girl, Ferdinand. You would have been <em>Emperor.</em>” His beady eyes narrowed. “It was my greatest gift to you and our lineage-her two Crests made her the perfect sire for the next Aegirs. For generations, our family has run the Empire, while the Hresvelgs reaped all the benefits-the consorts, the money, the respect. I finally was going to change that. I was going to give you <em>everything</em>.” The wretch’s voice turned to spittle and petulant, pathetic rage. “And you selfishly threw it all away. Just to bend your knee to a white-haired aberration, and to lay with this pathetic Alliance quim!”</p><p>Ferdinand’s gloved hand collided with his father’s face with a resounding crack. “If you dare to speak about either of them like that again…I will end you. I swear it.” He stared down at his father, shoulders heaving. “I once thought that the Aegirs were given a special destiny. That nobility was the Goddess’ forge, honing the aristocracy into indissoluble, exceptional people. But you…” His eyes blazed with disgust. “You have spit on everything I believed. You murder children, betray your country, and yet still imagine your Crest entitles you to power and influence...the only thing you deserve is a sword driven through your worthless neck.”</p><p>“How dare you speak to me that way!” scoffed the noble. “I have sired countless children. Everything you are comes from <em>me. </em>Without my name, you are<em> nothing</em>!<em>”</em></p><p>“No.” Ferdinand took a brief look at Marianne’s hand, resting in his own, before flashing a charismatic grin at Edelgard. “I have made my own destiny. I am something else now. Something different, and better. I stand before you, not as an Aegir, but as Ferdinand of Adrestia.”</p><p>“Do you understand what you have cost me? You were meant for greatness!”</p><p>Ferdinand laughed. “Yes, and that I disappoint you fills me with the greatest pleasure imaginable. I know why I serve Edelgard’s will. I do not simply believe in the Emperor, or even the ideals she espouses…” He turned to the Flame Emperor and gave her a dazzling smile. “I bend my knee because she is something I never expected her to be-not simply my rival, but my great, true friend.”</p><p>Edelgard felt the heat rising in her cheeks, and was unable to meet Ferdinand’s face. The moment was broken by a voice from the shadows.</p><p>“Still, Ferdinand…” Hubert emerged from the darkness, an ominous grin on his sharp features. “I must admit I find all this rather amusing. You have showed this fool a mercy most would be grateful for, and yet…this loathsome insect decided to spin his webs…” He leaned forward, invading the former Duke Aegir’s personal space, and causing the man to recoil backward. “Consider yourself lucky that the Emperor and Prime Minister are better people than I, my friend. If it were me…you would no longer have a tongue to wag such disgraceful insults against Lady Edelgard and Lady Edmund. ”</p><p>This, more than anything else, drove fear into the cowardly heart of the former Prime Minister. He shrank into himself, and the Emperor of Adrestia leaned toward his diminished form.</p><p>“For this latest instance of sedition, without even considering what you have done to my family and countless others, you deserve to die.” She looked at her red gloves, attempting to hide her fury behind a cool, efficient tone. “But after much consultation with my allies, I have decided that you will remain alive.” Her eyes were frightfully cold. “I want you to watch, as everything you attempted to build crumbles around you. I want to you to see Ferdinand and I fight as friends and allies. And most of all, I want to make a promise to you, Ludwig. I will make sure the people of Adrestia know who betrayed them. They will know who is responsible for the tragedy at the border, and the deaths of so many of our soldiers.”</p><p>The man’s body began to shake with fear. “But…they’ll…they’ll kill me! You can’t!”</p><p>“And now…you feel it.” Edelgard let out a cold, hollow laugh. “That awful pit in the depth of your stomach? The cage closing around you? The realization you are trapped, and all that awaits you, day after day, is more suffering? This…” She leaned forward, disgust and hatred and vengeance all twisted together into a poisoned draught. “This was how my siblings felt, as they wondered when death would come for them, until it finally seemed a relief. The next breath was no longer a friend, but simply the harbinger of more sorrow. To sincerely wish to die, Ludwig, is true despair. That is true misery.” She felt her hands begin to shake. “I do not pray, but if I did…I would ask the Goddess to allow you to live to a ripe old age, fearfully wondering if each and every moment is when the ax will fall.”</p><p>Hubert placed his hands behind his back, clearly pleased with the terror he had inspired. “My men will be watching the house. They are each beyond question, and if you try to bribe your way back into Arundel’s graces, or some other imprudent effort…” He smiled, a predator on the hunt. “Despite his consistent and utter foolishness, I must admit a great weakness for your son. I promise you, if given the opportunity, I will make you regret every insult you levied against him today a thousand times over.” He glared at the man. “Now get out of my sight.”</p><p>The former Prime Minister could only shuffle out of the room, cowed and broken. As he left, Ferdinand turned to his assembled allies.</p><p>“Marianne, Edelgard, Ingrid.” He met their eyes, one after the other. “Thank you. Your friendship and support means…” He paused. “It means a great deal.” For an instant, it seemed that emotions would overwhelm the cavalier, before he met Hubert’s eyes and smiled. “A great weakness for me, eh? I knew that my true friend Hubert von Vestra would stand beside me in my hour of need.”</p><p>Hubert mumbled some indistinct words and stared at the floor, his voice wavering. “If…if he dares to insult you again…I will deal with him. I promise you.”</p><p>At this, Ferdinand wrapped his friend in a warm, enthusiastic embrace. “No, you shall not. Instead, you and I shall try some more of that disgusting, wonderful coffee of yours, and Marianne and Bernadetta will join us for a peaceful day in the Enbarr gardens. I do not want a man and friend as good as you staining your hands for such a devil.” Hubert struggled to extricate himself, unable to comprehend why he was the recipient of such a grand gesture of friendship and trust.</p><p>Marianne gave Hubert a small, contented smile, and grabbed his hand. “I’m so glad Ferdinand has a friend like you protecting him. You’re a wonderful person, Hubert. Thank you.” She gently kissed him on the cheek, causing the dark prince of House Vestra’s face to turn rose-red.</p><p>As she watched Hubert stammer out some indistinct noises, Ingrid leaned toward Edelgard. “Are you all right? Marianne and I are both worried about you. You haven’t been yourself lately.”</p><p>Edelgard gave her knight a self-deprecating grin. “And why, pray tell, would that be a problem?”</p><p>“Knock it off.” Ingrid glared at the Emperor. “You’re not as clever as you think you are. You were barely holding it together in front of that filth, and I don’t think it’s because of him. It’s the promise, isn’t it?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor winced, but refused to allow Ingrid the satisfaction of being correct. “I…I have no idea what you mean, my knight. What promise?”</p><p>“The Millennium Festival.” Marianne’s gentle hand startled the heartbroken ruler. “The night of the dance, you made her swear to meet us for the reunion. It…” She smiled. “It was so beautiful, Edelgard. I know you’ve been trying to hide it, but-“</p><p>Edelgard tried to swallow. “It is all right. I am far from some childish, starry-eyed romantic. If she returns, it will not be timed to some hastily-made promise from when I was skulking around Garreg Mach in a mask.”</p><p>Ingrid gave Edelgard an awkward grin, urgently attempting to lighten her friend’s mood. “You were having great fun in that outfit, and don’t you dare try to deny it.” When the gesture did not work, she looked to Marianne for support. “Listen…we’ve all lost…a great deal. None of us are going to give you cheap, useless sentiment. All I can tell you is that I <em>know</em> she’s proud of you for continuing to fight, each and every day.”</p><p>Marianne nodded. “Ingrid is right. The love you two have…” She gently rubbed the Emperor’s shoulder. “It’s like a flower. The scent, the sight…something that good makes everything around it more beautiful.” The cleric tilted her head. “Have you tried talking to her?”</p><p>Edelgard’s practical mind blanched. “To the air? As if she’s…she’s….dea-“ Distracted hands gently rubbed her golden, horned crown. “It won’t do any good. She can’t hear me. Not now.”</p><p>Marianne stared at the ceiling. “I prayed for years to the Goddess, daring Her to respond. I told Her that if I heard Her voice, I’d promise to keep on living. She never did.” She glanced from Ferdinand to Hubert, and then to Ingrid and Edelgard. “But I know She heard me, because She sent all of you into my life. She was listening.” The healer pulled Edelgard in to a warm embrace. “Professor Byleth has worked countless miracles, and if anyone’s words will reach her, it’s yours. She believed in you, so please, Edelgard…why don’t you try believing in yourself, too?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<em>This time, you stand with the Golden Deer, cutting a path through Enbarr and the Black Eagles. Dorothea and Petra were put down by Ignatz’s bow and Hilda’s ax. There is no one left but Edelgard. She supports herself with Aymr, as Claude nocks an arrow. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Damn it, Edelgard!” That teasing, easygoing façade melts away, and for the briefest instant, the real Claude peeks through. Underneath all the schemes, and the jokes, and the secrets, there is a noble, kind idealist. A sensitive heart, scarred over from the cruelty of the world. “Dimitri and the Lions are dead. Your friends are dead. There are Crest Beasts in the skies of Enbarr! Just…just stand down! Nothing is worth this!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard shakes her head, and gives him a small, sad smile. “The only thing this empty shell is worth, Claude, is to change this world, and make sure there is never another person like me. If that means I die the villain…I will not flee from that destiny.” A fire burns in her eyes. “And what of you…will you continue to hide your true ambitions behind a mask of flippancy, like you did in Remire?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A moment of understanding passes between the two leaders. Claude lowers Failnaught, and shakes his head. “Clever as always. When did you figure out why I really ran away that night?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard grins. “Not until the Almyran reinforcements, and I realized that your world without borders had little need for the King of Faerghus and the Emperor of Adrestia. Turning my own scheme into an opportunity to eliminate your rivals-you always were one step ahead of me, even then.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s amazing how nice people think you are if you laugh and crack a few dumb jokes.” Claude’s brow creases, and he rests his fingers on the bridge of his nose. “Still…I suppose deep down, we were always more alike than either of us would care to admit.  Listen. I’m not that person anymore. I care about this country. I care about its people. They aren’t chess pieces on a tabletop.” He smirks at you. “Teach taught me that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looks at you for a moment, and all her resolve and dignity crumbles. “I…I am happy for you, Claude.” For an instant, it almost seems that her eyes shimmer, before she snaps back to the hard, cold, inflexible armor of Flame Emperor. In this world, no one was there to melt the ice surrounding her heart, and all the warmth and gentleness you love is gone. She gives you a firm, unblinking glare, her soul all sharp edges and shattered dreams. “Let him be the shining light that Fodlan needs. The hope that someone like me could never be. He is a better man than he believes. Keep him out of the darkness. Promise me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You can only weakly nod, but the gesture seems to bring immeasurable comfort to the Flame Emperor. She lowers her head and smiles. “Then…I can rest easy.” She hesitates for a brief second, and a melancholy expression lines the girl’s face. “Claude. Take care of the Professor and Lysithea.” She had plunged the continent into war, done so many terrible things…but all you can think is how small and scared she looks. “It’s funny, you know. When I was child…I wanted to be the princess in a storybook. Something good. A hero. But this world wouldn’t let me. Just like it didn’t let you, correct?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Claude looks at her for a moment, and something breaks in his green eyes. You can see the guilt bubbling under the surface. The recognition that underneath, they were good people fighting for the same thing, all along. It eats at your insides, stinging like fire. You were supposed to guide them, teach them…protect them, and yet now you were here, at this terrible, inescapable moment. The three of you remain frozen, unable or unwilling to take the step that you all know must be taken. That is, until a flash of white hair disturbs the grim tableau.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Edelgard!” Lysithea raises her arms, begging, pleading, trying to stop another tragedy in a life filled with them. “Why didn’t you tell me! I-we could have worked together! I could have helped you!” Her pink eyes fill with tears. “Please…no one understands, Edelgard. No one knows what it’s like to be turned into a weapon. To have your life stolen from you. Not even Claude or the Professor. Don’t leave me to face this alone. I’m…I’m so scared.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard stares at the red carpet of Enbarr, and refuses to look at the girl. Finally, she finds some deep well of inner strength, and raises her beautiful lilac eyes. “Claude. Professor. Strike down the mad Emperor. Lead Fodlan to a new dawn. But I leave you with one final request: Never stop. Until the shackles are broken, and the people are free. Until you make a world where those like me are nothing more than monsters from a fable. Do you accept this burden?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The archer raises Failnaught, and looks at you, and the ceiling, and everything that is not Edelgard. Finally, he pulls back the string. “Don’t worry,” he says as if swearing an oath. “I promise we’ll finish the job.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The arrow flies, and in an instant, Edelgard is dead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You want to run to her, protect her, cradle her in your arms, but nothing in your body works-not your muscles or your voice, and especially not your cold, dead heart. Claude turns away for a moment, and throws Failnaught to the ground in disgust. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lysithea sinks to the floor and begins to sob, and you gently hold her. The leader of the Golden Deer stares at you helplessly. The one truth Claude could never conceal, in this world or any other, was how much he cared about the young mage. “Kid…” Claude awkwardly lays on hand on her shoulder. “Tell me what’s going on.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You can feel Lysithea’s body begin to shake with rage. “Why?!” She screams at you, and Claude, and the universe. For a moment, you think of the Edelgard and Lysithea in your world, happily baking sweets on a sunny weekend in Garreg Mach, and it is as if Claude’s arrow had driven through you, as well. “Why didn’t she stop?! Why do I always have to watch-” She can barely form words. “I’m…I’m always the last one left.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s…it’s the Crest thing, isn’t it?” Claude looks at you for a moment, and as you nod, he shakes his head in disgust. “Kid, if I’d known, I promise…I’d have…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You’d what?” The mage glares at Claude, lashing out in grief and fear. “You’d lie? You’d manipulate me, or Marianne, or the Professor, like you always do? Do you think we don’t know you’re hiding something?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Claude’s usual cocksure grin disappears. As long as you have known him, he has always kept everyone else at a remove-only allowing the light he wishes to let in. He is a good man, but trying to understand him is like standing on the steadily shifting sands of the desert-the true shape of his ambitions growing and morphing from moment to moment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Kid…it’s not like that…you’re my friend, and so is Teach, and Hilda, and Marianne, and…” He trails off, as he lifts Failnaught from the floor. “And I’ve been keeping something from you for a very long time. If I’m going to be the person Fodlan needs, I have to tell you both. I’m a member of the Almyran royal family. My name isn’t even Claude…“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You have been quiet, your eyes focused on the Edelgard’s body in the center of the room, but an unfamiliar emotion wells inside you, the sense of betrayal overwhelming even your grief. “Why didn’t you tell me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I…” Claude looks away. “Fodlan…is just one part of my dream. I want to unite the world. Break down all the borders and fear that have led to all this misery. After all this is over…I’ve got to keep fighting for that future. No kid should ever grow up feeling like they don’t belong. And…and that means I’d have to leave you both behind. I’ve never really…had friends, and I suppose I’ve gotten used to having you around…” He shrugs, trying to disarm this moment of raw honesty.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You stare at him blankly. He was going to leave you, after all you had shared. His dream was more important to him. You would be alone again. Didn’t he care about how that made you feel? Did you mean anything to him at all? To anyone? Your eyes fall on Edelgard’s body, and you know the horrible answer. You mattered to her, more than anything in the world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lysithea shoots to her feet, and grabs Claude’s shirt, demanding a response. “So, where do I belong? Professor Hanneman and Linhardt are dead. They were the only people who might have cured me, and we killed them. And you’re just going to leave, after you conquer this continent for Almyra?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Claude raises his hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa…I’ll admit, I wanted to unify Fodlan, and open the borders, but conquer is a really strong word…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What is it then?” You stare at him blankly, not understanding, or perhaps not wishing to understand. Deep inside, all you can hope is that Claude did not manipulate you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The archer, as always, tries to charm with a grin. “Well, I admit, I did plan on ruling Fodlan myself, but…” He smiles at you both. “You’ve both made me better. You’ve made me rethink all that. I know I can trust you both to help me with my dream.” He slaps you on the back. “I’m planning on letting Teach run the country, while I continue the fight elsewhere.” You feel yourself startle at the revelation, but for Claude, it seems as if a great weight has been released from his chest. “No more inside, or outside. It’ll be one world. All of us, toget-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Claude.” Lysithea looks at him for a moment, and shakes her head. “Did you ask her?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Claude looks at the white-haired noble and tilts his head in confusion. “Who’re you talking about, kid?” </em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>The Professor.” Lysithea gives you a warm smile, before her face again hardens. “Did. You. Ask. Her?” </em></p><p>
  <em>Claude rubs his hand behind his head. ”Well, I hadn’t really broached the topic, but…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lysithea wags a finger in his face. “After all she’s done for you, you didn’t even have the decency to-“ An awful, hacking cough racks her body, and she staggers. Silence hangs over the dead halls of Enbarr as you helplessly watch. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You don’t get it, Claude” She gestures to Edelgard’s body, her limbs trembling. “Do you really understand why Edelgard did every terrible thing she did? Why we had to stop her? Because I do.” Her eyes harden. “If her life was anything like mine…she was cut open, and tortured, until she hated everything about this world, and everything about herself. She just wanted something to make sense again!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Kid…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I can’t run away from that. There’s no escaping the scars on my body, or the nightmares, or the blood in my lungs. This country and war may be only part of some grand plan you have, but it’s <strong>my entire life</strong>!” She quivers for a moment, and pushes away your attempts to comfort her. “Did you ever think about what I wanted? Or what the Professor wanted? Maybe she doesn’t want to live your dream?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Claude, for once in his life, is speechless.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lysithea turns to you, teetering toward hysteria. “Professor…what do you want? All I wanted was to own a bakery, and be a mother. Sell little cookies, and make people happy. And I’ll-“ She bites her lip. “I’ll never have any of those things. Not now.” She grabs your shoulders. “<strong>Wake up, Professor</strong>! Stop letting other people use you. What do you want?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You know the answer. You want Edelgard. You want to escape this world where she lies dead on the floor of Enbarr Palace, and hold her in your arms. You want to hear her laughter, which sounds like the chiming of bells, and see the love that lights up her eyes when she sees you, and only you. You want the freedom to choose your own destiny. You want to escape these nightmares, and go home.</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the Flame Emperor’s party returned to Garreg Mach, Edelgard could only watch her armored boots slowly splashing in the mud and grime beneath her feet. Marianne and Ingrid’s words rattled in her head. Underneath the idealism, there was a soft-hearted romantic, and as much as the girl was loath to admit it-the promise of the Millennium Festival was all that had kept her going for these long five years. If her teacher did not return by then…perhaps she would have to accept the truth she had buried deep, deep inside.</p><p>As she walked through the archway, a burst of white hair materialized in her peripheral vision. It took only a second for the mage’s arms to collide with her. “Edelgard!” Lysithea looked up at her friend with a reverence that ignited long-forgotten feelings in the Emperor’s soul. “You’re back! Monica and I have been trying a new recipe for my cherry tarts, and I’m sure you’re going to love it!” She paused, realizing that the rest of the assembled group was watching her actions, and her pale face turned bright red.</p><p>Ferdinand stepped forward, and launched into a clearly prepared, guilt-ridden speech. “Lysithea…while we were there…Hubert found some documents in my father’s possession…it seemed he…he…” The Prime Minster fought back his shame. “He was the one who handed your family over to Arundel-“</p><p>“Ferdinand.” All the usual stridency left Lysithea’s voice. “Why are you blaming yourself?” When he failed to respond, she walked over to him, and grabbed his hand. “You are no more responsible for what happened to me or Edelgard, than Bernadetta or Caspar. All that matters is that we are allies and friends now.” A strange look flashed over her face. “Which reminds me! Edelgard, there’s someone you need to see! Marianne, you too!”</p><p>Before Edelgard could mouth a word of protest, Lysithea was pulling her through the courtyard of Garreg Mach. The younger girl weaved through the assembled Imperial forces with the same single-minded drive she used when attacking a particularly weighty tome. Marianne ran behind, anxiously attempting to maintain her usual dignified air.</p><p>They turned toward the old student dormitories, where guests were often lodged. The only sound was the three women’s heels gently tapping on the stone floor. Edelgard fought back the wave of nostalgia as she passed her old room, only to see a shock of long purple hair as she arrived at her destination. It took a moment before she realized who exactly the intruder was.</p><p>“<em>Lorenz!?”</em></p><p>“Hellman Gloucester, at your service, Your Majesty. And Marianne…you both have grown even more lovely.” He gave a deep, and graceful bow, before politely kissing the Emperor’s hand. The years had been kind to the boy. His once awkward features had morphed into a distinctive, striking beauty. His purple hair now flowed long and free, and there was a newfound restraint marking his every action. “I must beg your indulgence for calling upon you in such an uncouth manner, but I wished to speak with you before my father changed his mind again.”</p><p>“Lorenz…” Edelgard had found the boy immensely aggravating in their time at the academy, and approached the conversation warily. “What, exactly, are you requesting?”</p><p>“We are both aware of how my father’s refusal to declare a position on the Empire has hampered your goals, Emperor. His demands have become more and more unreasonable, as his bargaining power has increased.” He looked at Edelgard for a moment, demonstrating an emotion that Edelgard had never seen on Lorenz’s face before-shame. “I have read your manifesto, and was deeply impressed. You may fight against the nobility, but you understand its power-and responsibility-more than anyone else I know.”</p><p>“Why?” Edelgard eyed him suspiciously. “Why come forward now?”</p><p>Lorenz flicked a hand in the air with a dramatic flair that would inspire envy in Dorothea. “Because I do not believe that Claude’s heart truly belongs to the Alliance. I do not know for certain, but his actions…he claims neutrality, but every meeting, every conversation…he manipulates for his own ends. I will not have the people I protect be used as pawns in some greater scheme. I have a duty.”</p><p>“Claude is a good man,” said Lysithea firmly. “Don’t talk about him like that.” Marianne nodded firmly behind the white-haired mage.</p><p>Lorenz gave her an odd smile. “Cheerfully withdrawn, my dear girl.”</p><p>Edelgard had long considered Lorenz a fool and a clown, but there was an idealism that she only now could glimpse, hidden deep under all the philandering and oddness. It challenged everything she believed about the man, and her voice was tinted with a new respect.</p><p>“You are fully aware of my goal? To reunify the continent under the Empire’s banner?”</p><p>Lorenz let out a long sigh. “If my suspicions are correct, my hopes of maintaining the Alliance’s sovereignty are already lost.” Seeing the looks of confusion on his guest’s faces, he waved a hand. “Please forgive me my ramblings. My point is, I wish to offer the House of Gloucester’s support, along with access to the Great Bridge. Freely. Unconditionally. All I ask is that when you unify this continent, you will remember my actions.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “I will. Upon my victory, there will be a need for competence and good sense, and my Prime Minister speaks of you in the highest esteem. In fact…Marianne.” She turned to the cleric and smiled. “Perhaps you would like to take our guest to meet with Ferdinand? I am sure he would be quite pleased to see an old friend…and perhaps further details could be ironed out over tea?”</p><p>Marianne smiled and nodded, and guided Lorenz out of the room, the old classmates eagerly exchanging pleasantries. As soon as he left, Edelgard collapsed onto a nearby chair. Even after all these years, these diplomatic niceties took so much out of her. She rested for a moment, before she turned to her companion and smiled. “Thank you, Lysithea. As always, I can rely upon you.”</p><p>“Edelgard.” The mage’s voice wavered for a moment. “May I ask you a favor?”</p><p>The Emperor took off her crown, and with practiced dexterity, loosened her hair buns to allow her long silver hair to flow free. “Always,” whispered the woman, voice gentle and soft. “Is Linhardt making progress?”</p><p>Lysithea nodded. “He’s working himself to exhaustion, though he’d never admit it to anyone. Professor Hanneman’s new vulneraries are relieving most of the nausea. I haven’t felt this strong in-It doesn’t matter anyways.“ She shook her head. “I’m seeing this through to the end. You know that, right?” Edelgard did not respond, but instead simply squeezed the young mage’s palm. The Emperor could feel those small, fragile hands release some of their tension. “I wanted to ask you…about Claude.”</p><p>“What about him? Is he putting pressure on your family? Are you all right-“<br/>
<br/>
“It’s not that.” The last Ordelia turned and smiled. “I…I’ve been thinking a lot about what might have happened…if I didn’t join you. In my dreams. Nightmares, really.” Her chalk-white face became even paler. “Do you know what it meant to find you? To know that I wasn’t alone?”</p><p>“Yes.” Edelgard gave a firm nod. “Because I feel the same. I…” She hesitated, and for a moment, tears threatened to fall. “I never imagined I’d have…this again, Lysi. I’m so grateful that you believed in me, despite everything I’ve done…”</p><p>“That’s why I’m asking you to let him live, if you can. Claude is infuriating. He pried into my affairs, and treated me like a child. He never stopped hassling poor Marianne for information about her past. But…” She looked down at her hands. “He’s a good person. Really, he’s a lot like you.”</p><p>Edelgard let out a small huff. “In what way? The man is infuriating, inscrutable-“</p><p>“I know what it’s like to be hurt.” Lysithea looked down at the scars marring her wrists. “It…it changes you. You carry all that ache around with you, hiding the fear and anger. Biting your tongue every time you hear a platitude about how the world and Goddess never give us more than we can stand…because if people ever find out how scared you are…” She trailed off, the weight of the words hanging over the room like an executioner’s ax.</p><p>“They’ll hurt you even more.” Edelgard finished the thought.</p><p>“Yes.” Lysithea nodded. “You and Claude have the same look in your eyes that I do. I think…” She paused and swallowed. “I think you’re both very good people who have to pretend to be bad.”</p><p>Edelgard stared at the ceiling, thinking of the person she would have been without her teacher’s faith-a woman ready and willing to throw away her morals, happiness and life, all in service to her ideals. She would never have had this-friends, love, or even the desire to live past the conclusion of her war. She would have remained a funeral urn of broken memories and dreams. And perhaps, by taking Byleth, Lysithea and Marianne away from Claude…no one would be there to help him, either.</p><p>She covered her guilt, as always, with bravado. “War is not a place for sentimentality. I will not risk my soldier’s lives to save an enemy general. But I promise you…if the chance arises….” Edelgard gave a firm nod. “I will give him mercy.”</p><p>“Thank you, Edelgard.” Lysithea rose, and made her way to the door. She lingered for a moment under the entryway. “Will you be all right? With the Millennium Festival?”</p><p>“Marianne and Ingrid expressed similar concerns,” murmured the Flame Emperor. “I…am coping as much as I am able. I will not lie to you. I miss her, beyond the power of words to convey. A part of myself was lost that night, and now I feel so…” She paused. “I have always walked forward with a purpose…first, my ambitions, and then my vow to protect the Black Eagles in her stead.”</p><p>Lysithea smiled. “A promise you have more than fulfilled.”</p><p>“Thank you,” mumbled Edelgard, resting her hand on the crown next to her. “You mentioned your fears of us walking different paths. Well…” The Flame Emperor closed her eyes. “Everything that is good about me springs from the mercy of my friends, and their willingness to overlook the ugliness inside. I have tried to earn that faith. As I see you all…join together, and find happiness…” Her proud voice began to waver. “I must confess, I worry I no longer am…necessary…”</p><p>The mage stared at Edelgard, pity in her pink eyes. “Edelgard…” she whispered. “Do you really think we’re not going to need you anymore? That we’re only your friends because of what you do for us?” The Emperor remained silent, hiding her face in her hands. Lysithea gently sat on the bed, and hugged the leader of the Black Eagles, whose shoulders began to shake from five years of repressed grief and pain. “We found each other, Edelgard…” said Lysithea, as some of her old fire returned. “And I’m never letting you go.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>You had watched Dimitri’s spear cut through so many Imperial soldiers. The day you found him in the Goddess Tower, you had seen the mangled bodies he had brutalized. Limbs torn asunder, and corpses ripped apart as if by a wild animal. You had seen him threaten Randolph, the awful smile on his face as he threatened to torture the captive. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yet, that was not who Dimitri truly was. You, more than anyone, could understand. You were the Ashen Demon, the silent, unfeeling killer who wished they could have been anything else. Underneath all the vengeance, Dimitri was kind, and gentle, wishing only for peace, and to prevent anyone else from watching their family die. As his teacher, you had to protect that small, flickering spark of goodness. If he could be redeemed-then perhaps there was hope for you as well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And that was why you had executed poor Randolph, as he begged for his life while Dimitri raved at him. That was why you had killed Lysithea at Gronder, the girl’s dying wish simply for one more sunrise. And that was why you had run through that child, Fleche. You still could see and hear her final, faltering breaths whenever you closed your eyes. Her flailing arms, desperately trying to grab another gulp of air. You had killed, and killed, and killed, all to save Dimitri’s soul. </em>
</p><p> <em>Edelgard’s blood is still on Areadbhar, and the memories of Dimitri’s lance bursting through her chest continue to dance in your mind like the flickering embers of a fire. She had fought until the end, unwilling to surrender, or compromise her ideals. Returning Dimitri’s offer of peace with a dagger’s strike. Dimitri is haunted by what he has done, and it will linger with him for the rest of his life.</em></p><p>
  <em>“I wish there had been another way, Professor.” He whispers the words into the air for the fifth time in the past few hours. It is difficult to tell who loathes themselves more. As you watch the Kingdom soldiers secure Enbarr, an efficient voice disturbs you from your guilt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“My King. Professor.” Ingrid kneels at both your feet, deference in every word. “There is something you need to see.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dimitri stares at her for a moment, clearly uncomfortable, and with a gesture, bids her to rise. Ingrid walks forward, her face remarkably placid, considering the carnage she has witnessed. It was hard to remember the last time you had seen Ingrid show any emotion. You move toward the portion of the palace where the defeated Imperial forces are being held. As you pass the Adrestian soldiers, their faces are lined with an undying rage and hatred, as if Dimitri had stolen something precious to them. You turn to a small, private alcove, to see Seteth, and a brown-haired woman weeping over a body.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Dorothea.” Ingrid’s voice is businesslike, calm…hiding everything she is feeling. She has fashioned herself into the perfect knight, her will indistinguishable from her King’s. She is just as much of an instrument as the relic that rests in her hand. “The Professor and King Dimitri are here.” Seteth rests a hand on her shoulder, playing the role of caring, wise mentor to a girl so often ignored.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dorothea does not turn around. “Edie’s dead, huh? Who got her, Professor, you or Dimitri?” Her angelic voice is filled with such bile, you can barely recognize her. Silence follows, and her body trembles for a moment before she falls to the floor. Petra’s body rests on the table behind her, marred with the Lance of Ruin’s handiwork. Dorothea stares at you, eyes vacant. “I’m the only one left, aren’t I?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You slowly nod. You have defended order, and the continent, and this is the reward. You have brought peace, through a torrent of violence and bloodshed. It feels empty. You wonder what the purpose of any of this was.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dimitri is trying so hard to hide his grief, and your heart breaks for him. He so desperately wants to be good. “Edelgard and her supporters were fighting for what they believed in. I understand that now.” Dimitri slowly kneels in front of Dorothea, and extends a hand. “I promise that as King, I will rule the people of Adrestia with the same respect I give the people of Faerghus. I swear on-“ </em>
</p><p>
  <em>His next words are interrupted by an awful, cruel laugh coming from deep inside Dorothea’s chest. She laughs, and laughs and laughs, until you just wish the sound would stop. Ingrid and Seteth look at each other with pained expressions.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You sanctimonious hypocrite…” She reaches out a hand, and slaps Dimitri across the face, which the King of Faerghus does not even attempt to avoid. “All your ranting about how Edelgard was a warmonger, just to conquer yourself? I’d rather die in the dirt with Petra and Hubie than bend my knee to a bastard like you.” You did not think it was possible to hate anything as much as Dorothea hates Dimitri at this moment. “Do you know how many times I’ve seen Areadbhar’s work, ‘my King’? How many families I’ve comforted who didn’t have enough of their loved ones to bury, because of <strong>you</strong>!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And how many in the Kingdom have died because of Edelgard! She even turned herself into a monster!” Ingrid steps forward, as unyielding and unforgiving as the metal of her armor. “There are Crest beasts roaming free! Thousands dead! Don’t you dare compare King Dimitri to…to that witch! I am proud to serve a man who only wishes for peace!” Dimitri stops her with a raised hand, and the faithful knight, as she always does, falls silent.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As you look at the sheer hatred in the knight’s eyes, you remember your Edelgard and Ingrid laughing in the courtyard of Garreg Mach. Spear and ax colliding, not in battle, but in a friendly spar. How all their mistrust and suspicion had given way to an unbreakable bond.  You want to grab Ingrid, shake her, tell her what she and Edelgard had both lost. But just like when Dimitri ran his spear through the woman you love…you do nothing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What peace do you mean?” spits Dorothea with immense venom. “Maybe we should have tried using nobles instead of beasts-the Church never had any objections to <strong>them</strong> killing people.” She pauses, and glares at Seteth “How long do you plan on lying to Ing, anyway? Edie told me who you are and what you’ve done…and Goddess, Seteth, you make me sick. Do you know how much she trusts you? She…she doesn’t deserve to be manipulated like this.” The diva gently rubs the ring Ingrid gave her, so long ago.</em>
</p><p><em>Seteth’s face goes chalk-white, and he turns away from Ingrid’s confused expression.</em> <em>Sensing his control of the situation slipping, Dimitri reaches out a hand to Dorothea. “I have done unspeakable, horrible things. There is no salvation for a person like me. All I can swear to you, is that with the support of my teacher, and my friends, I will make Fodlan a better place. Not, perhaps, how she would wish it…but I will carry out the will of the people, in her name. That..” He pauses. “That is all I can do.”</em></p><p>
  <em>“It’s funny how the will of the people always ends up being what <strong>you</strong> want, Dimitri.” Dorothea glares at him for a moment, rage finally ebbing. “You can’t understand. When I was a child, begging for food on Enbarr’s streets…I’d sit outside the opera house…not just to hear the music, but because the nobles would sometimes pity me and give me food, or money. There was one man…I’m not even sure who he was, someone important…who’d kick me, every single time, just because he could.” Her eyes well at the memory. “And each time, the guilt would be too much for him, and he’d give me a few spare coins.”<br/>
<br/>
Ingrid’s knightly comportment shatters, and she kneels before her old friend, sorrow in her green eyes. “Dorothea…I’m sorry.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The songstress’ hands knot together. “The worse thing was…I started to look forward to it. To know that if I just endured the pain for a moment, then at least I’d be able to eat that night. The ache in my ribs was the Goddess’ will, because I was a lowly street orphan, and he was a great and powerful man with a Crest, who could be forgiven for whatever he did.” Dorothea stares Dimitri in the eye. “The people are just the chorus in your grand story, aren’t they, Dimitri? The best street trash like me can hope for is to be a figure of pity.” Her hand reaches behind her back. “And without Petra or my friends…” A dagger appears, gleaming in the light. “I don’t want to face another day.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She attempts to drive the weapon though her own heart, but you cannot watch anyone else die. Not like Fleche. Not like Lysithea. And not like Edelgard. With a mercenary’s instincts, you kick the dagger from her hands, and send it clattering to the ground. Dorothea is stunned for a moment, and then turns to you with a gentle smile.</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>Professor.” Dorothea lets out a sad, broken laugh, the voice of a person utterly bereft of hope. “All those times as a child, I begged the Goddess to save me, and now you…” She looks at you with a pleading expression. “Edie was so broken at the end. She just kept hoping that you’d look around you, and understand why…that you’d <strong>wake up, Professor. </strong>She needed you. We all did.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Resting on your back, the Sword of the Creator lets out a long, low hum. The weight feels like more than you can bear.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>These soldiers had been pushed to the limit-by the Faerghus climate, hunger and fatigue, and the daily cost of battling on the frontlines of the bloody stalemate into which this war had descended.</p><p>There was a gauntness and greyness to their eyes-a darkening of the inner light that comes from undergoing unending strife. Edelgard knew that dimness-she had seen it in her siblings. Her family’s faces, that had once been filled with love and laughter, withering slowly. Each time she had seen it in the dungeons, her sibling was gone within the fortnight. She remembered it from her own dull eyes in her bedroom mirror, when she realized that El was gone, and something far worse had taken her place.</p><p>Edelgard had given many such speeches over the five years since she had assumed the throne. Fought alongside her forces countless times, led her people with all the dignity and purpose she could muster. Still…it never became easier. Dorothea placed a hand on the Emperor’s shoulder, and Edelgard found a new strength.</p><p>“I will not stand before you and speak empty banalities of the glory of Adrestia, or of this war. You have all seen far too much for that.” Edelgard tried to ignore the surprise on the troops’ faces, and the guilt within her chest. “I am the ruler of this nation. But rulers are nothing without the people, who sacrifice and toil and die due to their decisions. Without your faith in me, this crown that I wear…” She removed the golden object from her head, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. “It is meaningless.”</p><p>The soldiers of Adrestia were stunned. Not just at the words and actions of the young, mighty Emperor, but the objective of her speech. It was clear that many of them had never <em>seen </em>a noble before, let along the remarkable woman who acted as if this were a conversation between equals.</p><p>“If you do not support my aims-if you believe that the blood and the cost is too great-I offer you the chance to leave. Now. With no repercussions or bitterness. However, if you continue to stand by my side…” She raised Aymr to the sky. “I promise you a new future. One where your fates are no longer decided by the whims of the gods. One where no man or woman stands above any other. One where the invisible chains that bind you are broken, and each of you is free to seize your destiny.” The Emperor extended her arm. “Most of all…I offer each of you the choice. That freedom is what I fight for, and if you believe in it just as much as I do…I ask that you reach for my hand.”</p><p>The Emperor awaited her soldier’s response, attempting to ignore the private fears and anxieties she could never truly show. For what felt an eternity, there was silence…until a cheer arose, and each and every exhausted soldier leapt to their feet.<br/>
<br/>
“LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR!”</p><p>The sound echoed throughout Garreg Mach’s courtyard, over and over, and Edelgard felt her heart soar. The men marched forward, and shook her hand, and praised her with words that the Flame Emperor knew in her heart she did not deserve. For countless minutes, the scene continued, until Dorothea ferried an exhausted Edelgard away.</p><p>“That’s the fourth speech this week, and you just keep getting better. Are you sure you’re never had acting lessons?” Dorothea smirked as her friend began to blush. The diva’s face turned serious. “Voice was good. Use your hands a little more to accentuate your points. Make sure your body is always facing each of the soldiers, like you’re on an invisible stage. And Edie…wonderful job. They loved it.”</p><p>Over these long five years, Dorothea had used her expertise to hone Edelgard’s talents as an orator.  It was one of the many gifts the Emperor knew she could never repay. She turned to her old friend and smiled. “I hope you enjoyed it as well. Whenever I think of how Crests and nobility are far from the measure of a person’s worth…you are what springs to mind.”</p><p>Dorothea turned away. “You know, I don’t think you realize sometimes how incredible and wonderful the things you say actually are. I’m the only commoner in the Strike Force. Do you know why those soldiers adore you?”</p><p>“No.” The words came out harsher than Edelgard intended, a brief window into her immense self-loathing.</p><p>“You want it to be their choice and to give their lives meaning. I was lucky. Manuela saved me, and gave me a purpose, and a future. When I was singing on the stage…” For a moment, Dorothea was lost in the tangle of her memories. “There are so many people who have lived and died in Fodlan, never knowing what they could have been or done. How many of our soldiers could have written a great book, but never even saw a quill? How many of our people could have danced or sang or made something lovely, but spent their entire lives toiling to fill a worthless, corrupt noble’s coffers? It’s all the wasted chances and empty lives, Edie. That’s what breaks my heart.”</p><p>Edelgard opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She settled for resting on hand on Dorothea’s back, until she could find the words.</p><p>“This discussion reminds me, how are you and Petra?” At Edelgard’s query, Dorothea turned away. “We all know how you both feel about one another, and yet…” Edelgard stared Dorothea in the eye. “You still joke about finding a rich noble suitor, and it hurts her more and more each time. She wants you, Dor. And only you.”</p><p>“No.” Dorothea’s heavenly voice shattered. “She might think she does, but she deserves someone…pure. Someone who doesn’t manipulate and seduce and use people. She’s…she’s so beautiful. Not just in her body but in her soul.” The songstress looked up at the sky. “She wants me to go back to Brigid with her…when this is done. Me, Edie. A dirty street orphan from Enbarr. She could choose anyone in the world…”</p><p>“And she chose well, my friend.” Edelgard smiled and grasped Dorothea’s hand firmly. “She is wiser than any of the priests of the Church of Serios-because the kindness that beats in your heart is more valuable than any Crest or legacy the Church worships.” The two women meandered through the alleyways of Garreg Mach. “When I see you taking care of orphans, or comforting the soldiers…it makes me believe in the silly, idealistic notions I once felt.” Edelgard smiled. “I simply wish you could see the beauty Petra and I do.”</p><p>Dorothea remained silent, and hummed a few bars, as the sun began to set. She finally turned to the Emperor. “Come with me, Edie. They’ll be ready by now.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor tilted her head in confusion. “Who’s ready? What’s going on?”</p><p>The great star of the Mittlefrank Opera Company gave Edelgard a knowing smile. “You’ll see.”</p><p>As Dorothea pushed open the door to the old Black Eagle classroom, Edelgard was unsure of what she expected to find. After all, her bloody, awful war had been raging for five long years. She had torn the continent asunder, set so many lives aflame. Most days, she worked until collapse, because it was the only remedy that drove away the guilt and the nightmares and the memory of Byleth’s…even five years later, Edelgard could not admit what certainly had happened.</p><p>So, when Dorothea opened the door, and she found the assembled Black Eagle Strike Force, surrounded by pastries, wine, freshly picked carnations, and what appeared to be a banner bearing the telltale signs of Bernadetta’s needlework, the great leader of the Adrestian Empire could not find anything to say. She backed away from the gentle smiles on her friends’ faces, and was only able to articulate a single, whispered question:</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because!” yelped Caspar. “It’s the Millennium Festival! And you made us all promise to meet up here, no matter what happened! So here we are!”</p><p>Edelgard’s rational, logical mind could not comprehend what she was witnessing. “But…we’re already together. There…there is nothing to celebrate.”</p><p>“Well, that seems rather silly,” said Linhardt with a yawn. “You’ve managed to keep all of us around, and reasonably healthy. That was exactly what the Professor asked you to do. It seems rather obvious.”</p><p>“I…I know the war isn’t over…but the Professor would be so happy to see us all here and safe.” Bernadetta wrung her hands together. “We couldn’t have done that without you, Edelgard. You led us, and we’re all here. That’s…that’s something she’d want us to celebrate.”</p><p>Edelgard stared at the stone floor of Garreg Mach, in the classroom that had been the site of the happiest days of her life. Her teacher was gone. She knew that now. She would never see those beautiful blue eyes again. Her heart would always be broken. Still…whatever came next, she would protect the people she loved, in Byleth’s memory. She wrestled down the tide of emotions swelling within her, and accepted a glass of wine from Petra.</p><p>“Yes, my friends…I believe that it is.”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>You stare at the shoreline. You cannot even remember which life this was. Whether you side with the Church, the Lions, or the Deer, it always ends the same way, here on the endless shore. Edelgard dies. Your heart remains still. And the years pass you by, until there is no one left but you. The tide rolls in and out, and your ageless body wanders without purpose or hope.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Always silently gawking! Is this really all you have to say for yourself!?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hope and joy travels through your body like a thunderclap, as you hear a voice you never expected to hear again. You look down at the sparkling blue of the ocean, and see Sothis’ grinning face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Honestly, Byleth, you can be so childish…we meet after all this time, and all you can do is stare-“<br/>
<br/>
“I missed you, Sothis.” You whisper the words into the air. “I missed you so much. I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The progenitor god stares at you for an instant, and gives a self-satisfied smile. “Why did you miss me? Our wills are as one, are they not? Must I pull you by the ears, Byleth?” There is so much affection underneath every utterance, you can barely remain standing. Only three people in your life have made you feel like that. Jeralt, Sothis…and Edelgard.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’ve seen glimpses of all these worlds. No matter what I do…someone will die. Dimitri, Claude, Rhea…they’re all good people. They’re doing what they believe is right. How can I possibly pick a side? How can I call myself a teacher when I kill…” You think of the Sword of Creator, and its inevitable meeting with Edelgard. Was that destiny? Was that what was meant to be?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s the arrogant one, isn’t it? Just like the night we met, one glance at her, and you look like a moonstruck baby calf. Honestly!” Sothis pretends to let out an annoyed huff. “Byleth…when I said you would take on the power of the progenitor god, did you simply think I meant a glowing sword and green hair? Do you not understand? We are as one.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No.” You run your hands through your unfamiliar emerald locks. “You always knew what to do. What to say. I’m…I’m just as mindless as the beasts in the Red Canyon. I’m not meant to do anything other than live other’s dreams. There’s nothing I want…” You think of a girl with silver hair, and eyes of lilac, and know that for perhaps the first time in your endless life, you are lying.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“The hardest thing about being a god…” Sothis’ voice loses its characteristic fire. “Are the terrible consequences of your decisions. Blood lies at the end of every path in front of you, and if you chose not to decide, you still have made a choice. I hear the voices of every person I failed, through my action or inaction, and so will you.” Her eyes narrow. “So what will you do? Will you quake in terror, or will you cut a path to the future you wish to see?”<br/>
<br/>
You know what you want. These half-remembered visions and shadowy nightmares have only hardened your resolve. “You and Edelgard have always told me to choose my own path. I need her, Sothis.” And suddenly, a tempest of anger bursts out of you. “Just as much as she needed you. All Edelgard wanted was for you to protect her. Why didn’t you help?” The accusation hangs in the air.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sothis gives you a small, sad, smile. “There are some questions even I cannot answer, Byleth. However…I am the Beginning…did you think that all that I am…all that I ever will be, could be represented by a little girl on a throne?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The world seems to bend and break, as you stand on the edge of a great and endless horizon. There is something massive, a great being that your limited vision only begins to perceive, the shape seeming to morph even as you stare directly at it. It is as if the world and your mind is too small to contain the truth of what Sothis is. And then, just as you fear you will fall into this eternity forever, your friend is back, smiling at you with her usual cocky grin. “Do you begin to understand, Byleth?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You can only weakly nod, afraid that your legs or stomach will fail you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We are joined together. Just as this form is a small piece of the Goddess…so are you. Our souls our joined, and what you love, I love as well. If your arrogant one was praying for the Goddess…perhaps it is you she was looking for all along.” She gives you a warm, maternal smile. “<strong>Wake up, Byleth</strong>. Go to her. Fulfill your promise.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You fight the tangled fog of your memories. “Which…which promise?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All of Sothis’ composure vanishes. “Honestly! Must I do everything for you?! Wake up, you absolute simpleton! Do you intend to sleep for a thousand years? Did you not tell your students you would meet them at the Millennium Festival, no matter what the future held?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Millennium Festival. The Black Eagles. They needed you. The edges of your dream begin to fray, and the you feel a dull, familiar ache in your joints. You are returning to life. Before you are pulled back to the crucible of existence, you reach out a hand to the closest thing you have ever had to a mother. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sothis…thank you.”</em>
</p><p> <em>The great Goddess of Fodlan smiles at you with immense affection. “I will always be with you, Byleth. Though you may not hear my voice, I promise we will journey together, until the end of time. Go. Be free.”</em></p><p> <em>As you are pulled back to the world of pain and sorrow and misery, you know that this is the only path you will ever choose. The only one that you believe in. The only one that leads you home.</em></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The Goddess Tower shimmered in the moonlight, as Edelgard stood alone. She had reminisced, and celebrated, and laughed with her friends for so long, trying to drive the sight of Byleth’s smile out of her mind. The Black Eagles had brought so much consolation, but even a balm that wonderful could only soothe so much. Long after her friends had finally gone to sleep, Edelgard had wandered the ancient pathways of Garreg Mach-a silent specter with silver hair-until her feet could now longer resist the ancient tower’s pull.</p><p>“Lady Edelgard.” She felt that old familiar presence at her side. “You should be resting. Your duties…”<br/>
<br/>
“And what of you, Hubert?” Edelgard turned and smiled. “I take it you have simply moved past the need for such trivialities?”</p><p>Hubert let out a throaty chuckle. “Perhaps I have. Still, I know that you have not.” He looked up at the Goddess Tower with an almost comical wariness. “Do you wish me to accompany you?”</p><p>“Accompany me?” Edelgard tried to hide her intentions, unwilling to admit that her old companion could interpret her moods so easily. As her retainer gave her a withering look, the Flame Emperor conceded defeat. “No. I…haven’t been able to admit she’s gone, Hubert. But tonight…” She pushed a speck of dust from her eye. “I just would like a few minutes to say goodbye.”</p><p>Hubert nodded, face implacable. “Then I will wait on the Cathedral bridge, for your return.” He placed his arms at behind his back, and stood as still as a statue in the Enbarr gardens. Edelgard walked toward the ancient stone stairs, before Hubert’s words stopped her. “I…have often considered my words to you, before the Professor chose to teach our house. I encouraged you to remain apart, out of fear of her hurting you.” He shook his head, and looked at the sky. “I was wrong. She…was a good woman. And a friend. For what little my words are worth, Lady Edelgard…I am truly sorry.”</p><p>“Thank you, Hubert.”</p><p>Edelgard slowly ascended the staircase, and looked around the ancient keep. She thought of all the idle, happy daydreams that had given her the strength to carry on, the vision of a future with love, and family, and all the things Edelgard had never believed she would experience. She looked up at the shining stars above, and remembered the wish that she and Byleth had made that rainy night in Faerghus-that they would always remain connected. Edelgard stared at the sky, clasped her hands together, and followed Marianne’s advice. It was not a prayer; just the words of a lonely, lost soul, begging for a miracle she knew would never come.</p><p>“My teacher…I have lived a life that is defined by regret. I can never forget that I am simply the fragments of a kinder, better girl. Even now, I wonder who and what I am. Thank you for believing in me, and pulling me out of the darkness. For seeing something heroic, where I only saw a monster. I swear to you, I will live each day in your honor. I will stand tall, not because I deserve it, but because I know that it is what you would want for me.”</p><p>And as the first rays of the sun crept over the horizon, all her royal poise deflated, and she sat and watched the morning break-the promise of a new dawn that Byleth had allowed her to believe in.</p><p>“I just wish…” It was no longer the Emperor speaking, but El. “I just wish I could have told you how much I loved you…one last time.”</p><p>There was a crash behind the Flame Emperor, and Edelgard shot to her feet. Her dagger was unsheathed in an instant, and her lilac eyes darted around for any sign of the intruder. Was it an attack? Had an assassin infiltrated-</p><p>And then she saw it.</p><p>The pale green hair, disheveled and tangled. The tattered remnants of a white Church outfit. The ancient sword, glowing red. Edelgard’s mind went numb. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be. It had been five years. It was a dream. A trick. An illusion. Byleth was <em>dead</em>.</p><p>But when the Flame Emperor looked in those green eyes, and saw the love and affection and beauty that could never be captured in any artist’s easel, she knew the truth. Those eyes were what Edelgard believed in, the wings that had lifted her soul out of the darkness. They were more real than reality, more true than any fact that Edelgard had ever known. She felt her knees grow weak. The mighty Flame Emperor tried to speak, but no sound came out. In the end, it was a moment that was beyond the power of simple words to describe.</p><p>Edelgard felt her legs moving, and her vision blurring as the tears fell freely. The girl buried her face in her teacher’s shoulder, laughing and crying and shouting and feeling everything, all at the same time. There was a tide of emotions she had not realized lay within her chest, and all those burdens were released as Edelgard felt herself soaring into the new dawn, aflame with the knowledge that she would not greet this sunrise alone.</p><p>Byleth Eisner smiled at her student, and as she leaned forward, and gave El the kiss she had been dreaming of for five long years, all the cracked, broken fragments of Edelgard fell back into place. Byleth’s lips was all filled with all the warmth and humanity that Edelgard had longed for, each night as the shadows had grown darker and colder. For countless minutes, she simply allowed herself to rest in her teacher’s arms. Finally, El looked up, and found the courage to ask the question she feared so deeply.</p><p>“My teacher…please tell me it’s you. That you’re real.”</p><p>The Enlightened One smiled, and whispered the words that the Flame Emperor had longed to hear, before she kissed Edelgard again.</p><p>“It’s really me, little flower. I’m home.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the delay on this chapter folks-I actually tossed out and rewrote this entire chapter, because it wasn't hitting the (overwrought, purple-prosed) standard I wanted. There was a sweet spot here with Byleth experiencing the other paths where I wanted it to be a final demonstration of her commitment to Edelgard, without dumping on the other routes. I tried to demonstrate the other leader's sympathetic qualities, while still showing why Byleth ultimately will stand by Edelgard. </p><p>You have no idea how much I've been looking forward to getting Sothis in here, and good lord is she fun to write. The idea that Byleth is a Bodhisattva-a person who gives up Nirvana to save suffering beings-is one of the cooler little things in this game (again, Enlightened One class is just called Nirvana in Japan). It's something FE's actually done before-Valla and Azura from Fates are really explicitly based on those ideas and use that iconography. This game actually has pretty interesting things to say about Buddhism and Christianity, which unfortunately gets ignored in favor of endless nonsense about fascism and war crimes. </p><p>Thanks again for reading, and I'll see you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. The Strength at Our Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For untold generations following the War of Three Nations, legends were passed down of the great leaders and warriors of the struggle for Fodlan’s soul: Tragic, troubled Dimitri Blaiddyd, the last king of Faerghus. The unparalleled tactician Khalid von Riegan, who returned when the continent needed him most. Hilda Goneril, who forged peace at Fodlan’s Locket. Felix Fraldarius, who loved his friends more than life itself. </p><p>Every child knew their names, as well as the heroism of the Black Eagle Strike Force: from the Wisdom of the Empire, Lysithea von Ordelia, to the Liberator Queen of Brigid, Petra Macneary. They studied the words of the great political philosophers, such as Sylvain Gautier’s famous address “The Souls of Crestless Children”, or Ferdinand von Aegir and Marianne von Edmund’s revolutionary <em>Proposals for the Education of the General Populace</em>. They pretended to be the hero of Arianrhod, Monica Eisner, or Bernadetta von Varley, whose immense courage at the Siege of Garreg Mach made her name forever synonymous with bravery. </p><p>Whether it was the compassion of Dorothea Arnault, the great protector of Fodlan’s orphans, or the goodness of Ingrid Galatea, the knight to whom all the nobles of Faerghus bent a knee, they were not simply men and women-they were legends who had brought freedom to the people of Fodlan. The Black Eagle Strike Force had fought in the Battle of the Great Bridge, and the final, great alliance of the Crests of Seiros. They had reforged the world, and created a lasting peace. But underneath it all, when the clamor of battle and fire of conflict were extinguished, there was something else at the core of this story-a small, quiet truth, filled with all the life and hope of the first thaw of springtime.</p><p>For centuries afterward, a small, humble painting was given the greatest pride of place at Enbarr Palace. It showed a beautiful emerald-haired woman, half in shadow and dressed in a frayed white outfit. She was extending her hand to the viewer, and her face communicated immeasurable joy and tenderness in a few, gentle brushstrokes. Found in the Emperor’s personal effects, there was a brief inscription, written on the back: “To my wings, in honor of the day hope returned to my life-El.” More than the blood on their hands, or the new world that they built, Edelgard von Hresvelg and Byleth Eisner were remembered through the ages for one thing above all else-how deeply they loved one another.</p><p>But all that lay in the future, and as the young Emperor of Adrestia and the Ashen Demon held each other in the Goddess Tower, all Edelgard wanted was to remain in that sanctuary forever. A past filled with loss had taught her an immutable fact-as evident as the passing of the seasons. To feel hope was a false promise-one that only made life’s cruelties even more agonizing. And yet…Byleth had returned. For five years, it had seemed an impossible dream-to be held, and cherished, and most of all, to breathe without the ever-present guilt that had cloaked Edelgard like a shadow each and every day.</p><p>For reasons even the Flame Emperor did not understand, she desperately tried to stop the tears from falling-to conceal how deeply she had missed the love her life. It did not work. All her royal dignity and poise was gone, in the face of a miracle her rational mind could not understand. People Edelgard loved did not return from the dead, and yet this remarkable woman had done it twice. It defied every bit of hopelessness that had formed over the Flame Emperor in the dungeons of Enbarr. Filled with fear that her teacher would disappear, even now, Edelgard slowly and hesitantly raised her head, and dared to look Byleth in those strange emerald eyes. </p><p>“My teacher…Where have you been? What have you been doing? I…I searched everywhere, but…but there was no trace…I thought you…” She trailed off, afraid to break the spell. </p><p>Byleth watched her student with a stark, unblinking expression, one that would have unsettled the Flame Emperor if she did not know the unfathomable kindness that lay within. </p><p>“I was sleeping.”</p><p>Edelgard stared at her teacher for a moment, before a torrent of repressed fear and anxiety exploded out of her. “How can you joke about something like this! Do you know what I...It’s…it’s been five years! Five years of endless regret and guilt and heartbreak! Of believing you were alive, yet never even finding a trace-“</p><p>Byleth put a hand to her mouth, that normally expressionless face filled with horror. “Five years…I was gone for…” She looked away from her student, full of shame. “Are they all safe? Did anyone…” </p><p>The Flame Emperor smiled. “No. We have all battled together. Protected each other. The Black Eagle Strike Force fought in your honor, and lived by your teachings. We…” Edelgard swallowed, feeling a great tide again beginning to swell. “We were waiting for you. Each of us believed you would come back to us. I led them as best I could, and we fought with all our heart, but we needed…” The words refused to come. </p><p>Edelgard buried her face in Byleth’s shoulder, unable to speak further. She was so ashamed. Her teacher had returned, and all the Emperor could do was cry, like a child? What had Byleth undergone in those terrible, long five years? How much had she suffered-</p><p>“Edelgard. I’m sorry.”</p><p>The gentle caress of her teacher’s fingers on her back shook the Flame Emperor back to sense. She looked up to see the pain that now filled Byleth Eisner’s expression.</p><p>“I was supposed to watch over my students. You and the rest of the Black Eagles. I’m your teacher. And you had to command them, all alone.“ She stopped for a moment, a profound realization washing over her. “Edelgard.”</p><p>“Yes, my teacher?”</p><p>“You never graduated.”</p><p>The Emperor of Adrestia, for once in her impeccably poised life, was speechless. </p><p>Byleth looked down at the Flame Emperor, in her stark red dress and ornate Imperial crown, and nodded. “When you attacked Garreg Mach, you were still a student. That means you never graduated. None of the Black Eagles did. So I’m still a teacher, and you’re still my student.” She said this as if she was explaining a simple troop movement, or a historical fact. Silence reined over the Goddess Tower. “That means I need to protect you.”</p><p>With a recklessness that surprised even herself, the Emperor of Adrestia grabbed Byleth, and kissed her with as much passion as she could muster. As they broke away, and Edelgard’s face turned a deep scarlet, she gave her teacher a hesitant smile.</p><p>“Five years ago, you made enemies of so many that were dear to you. And despite everything, you fought at my side…” She held her hands together, failing to hide the anxiety in each and every word. “Do…do you still wish to stand with me, knowing what I am, and what I plan to do?”</p><p>Byleth lifted her gaze from the floor. “Edelgard. Listen.” With a wan smile, she held the Sword of the Creator aloft. “Remember the commandments of the Church of Seiros? How anyone can kill, if it’s what the Goddess wills?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor gave a slow, tentative nod.</p><p>“I killed for years. With no purpose, and no reason, beyond the fact that it was what I was paid to do. I came to Garreg Mach, and I killed even more people, because it was what I was <em>told</em> to do. And then I became this… ” Byleth held up a strand of green hair. “And every life I took became the Goddess’ will. I helped kill Lord Lonato, or the priests at the Rhodos Coast…and I was a hero, because the Church demanded their deaths. Crests…Gods…No one should have the power to stand above others like that.” </p><p>Edelgard nodded, some of the characteristic haughtiness returning to her voice. “They died for what they believed in. Such deaths are not in vain.”</p><p>“You told me what you became without me-an Emperor with a heart of ice.” A spasm of fear flickered over Byleth’s stoic countenance. “While I was dreaming, Sothis showed me what I became without you. An empty vessel. A wandering flame, only following the will of others. It’s like Sothis told me…I should cut a path for the future I wished to see. And each and every person should have that chance.“</p><p>Edelgard grabbed her teacher’s shoulder. “<em>Sothis</em> told you that? <em>She</em> said…but that’s…” She looked up at her teacher, a thousand contradictory emotions rushing through the Emperor’s mind. The Flame Emperor had lived her life by the oath she had sworn on her dagger-to cut her own path, wherever it led. And for months, Sothis had been telling Byleth the same thing. Edelgard thought back to Rhea’s diary, and the Archbishop’s ominous statements. “My teacher…what is Sothis? What are <em>you</em>?”</p><p>“I’m not sure, except that I’m your teacher, and I love you, Edelgard. Isn’t that enough?” Byleth rested a battle-scarred hand on her student’s shoulder, smiling that gentle, infuriating smile. “Sothis awoke the night we met, and we’re…connected. She’s still watching over you and me, even now. I wish you two could talk…like I said before, you both are a lot alike.” The Ashen Demon frowned. “I asked Her, you know...why She didn’t help you. And She told me that it was because my will was Hers, and that I was who you were praying for all along.” Byleth’s flat affect made this impossible statement even more ludicrous.</p><p>Edelgard stared into space, trying and failing to comprehend the whims of this strange being. It was so unlike the deity she had spent her childhood worshipping. It did not explain why her prayers went unanswered, or why she had been forced to watch her siblings choke on their own blood. It did not remove the bottomless anger she felt toward the Goddess, or the guilt from destroying the church that gave believers like Manuela and Marianne so much support…but Sothis seemed to care for Byleth, and for the moment, those answers would have to suffice.</p><p>Byleth smiled at Edelgard, and for a moment, all those doubts vanished like the dying embers of a flame. “Can I see everyone else? The only thing that has ever made me happy or human is to know that my students needed me. And now you’ve become so strong, all without me…” Byleth turned away, normally unshakable confidence faltering. “The Black Eagles…you’re why I woke up.” </p><p>The Ashen Demon and the Flame Emperor slowly walked down the steps of the Goddess Tower. As they prepared to pass through the threshold, Edelgard pulled Byleth back with a gentle tug. “My teacher, when we leave this tower…we may not know peace for a long time. The new dawn we fight for will require tremendous toil and sacrifice. I…it’s selfish of me, but…I don’t want to leave this moment. Sometimes I wish we could go back to those peaceful days...” She trailed off, her private, hidden fears about the future overwhelming her ability to speak.</p><p>Without a word, the Enlightened One gently intertwined her fingers with the Emperor’s glove. She gave her student’s scarred hand a gentle squeeze. “There’s a reason I call you ‘little flower’, you know. And it’s not just because I like seeing how red your face gets.” The Ashen Demon let out a bark of a laugh, filled with a life and humanity that made Edelgard’s knees quiver. “Flowers grow, and change, and become even more beautiful. Just like you have, Edelgard.” She leaned down and kissed the Flame Emperor. “And whatever the future holds, you and I are going to make each other better. Together.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
The early morning sun was peeking over the ornate spires and ageless ramparts of Garreg Mach, as Edelgard and Byleth meandered toward the Great Hall. After hastily clothing her teacher in a spare Imperial outfit, Edelgard had given her teacher a brief summary of the current situation-the Alliance’s neutrality and Claude’s scheming, her fragile ceasefire with the Agarthians, and the union of the Kingdom and Church of Seiros…the Ashen Demon quietly absorbed the information, her green eyes staring at the ancient cobblestones. It felt just like when Edelgard was a student, when her life had been simpler, and her hands were not quite as calloused or stained with blood.</p><p>“I see my directions were sufficient to find Lady Edelgard.” Hubert’s voice disturbed the two women from their calm. The dark prince of House Vestra gave his instructor a genuine smile. “If I may be impolitic for a moment, I wish to express my sincere pleasure in your return, both for Her Majesty and myself.” His black eyes stared directly at Edelgard. “Would you both like a few moments further, before I intrude-“</p><p>His next words were cut off, as Byleth grabbed Hubert in a desperate embrace. “I missed you too, my friend,” said the Ashen Demon with so much fondness. “When we have a free moment, we must have coffee together! Edelgard’s been telling me what’s happened, but I had a few questions, and no one’s as good as explaining politics as you…” She trailed off, and began to squeeze Hubert even tighter.  The Enlightened One looked up with a characteristic innocence. “Did Dorothea help you with your hair? It makes you look very intimidating.” </p><p>Hubert desperately tried to ignore Edelgard, who was doubled over with laughter. The imposing dark mage cautiously reached his hand around Byleth, and returned the embrace. “It was a…group decision. Lady Bernadetta quite likes it, and…” He let out an artificial cough, and placed a gloved hand to his lips. “Regardless. The other members of the Black Eagles Strike Force are unaware of your return. I believed you would wish to inform them yourself.”</p><p>Edelgard gave a quick, efficient nod. “We would, Hubert. Thank you.” </p><p>“Also, I have told the kitchens to prepare a small breakfast, as I was unsure of when you had last eaten, Professor.”</p><p>The Ashen Demon shrugged her shoulders. “That’s very thoughtful, Hubert. I haven’t eaten in about five years.”  She turned to Edelgard, who again had burst out laughing, unable to contain the joy she felt. “Why are you laughing, Edelgard? It’s true!”</p><p>It had been so hard to remember who Byleth was; the thousands of quirks and oddities and subtle gestures that made her <em>real</em>. And yet, in such a short time, it had all come rushing back, like a thunderclap. Edelgard felt her spirit soaring, filed with a greater frivolity than any alcohol or spirit could ever provide.</p><p>As Hubert listened to Edelgard giggle, so unlike the stern, commanding Emperor her position had fashioned her into, he gave Byleth a deep smile and bowed. “Again, Professor. It is wonderful to see you again.” As he silently watched the joy on his liege’s face, the years seemed to fall away. “I ask that you continue to fight for Lady Edelgard, from the bottom of my heart.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
As Hubert left to deal with an urgent report from the Abyss, Edelgard and Byleth wandered toward the quarters of the Black Eagle Strike Force. Many of the students, such as Linhardt and Marianne, were late risers by nature, so the two women decided to loiter on one of the monastery benches, quietly enjoying the early morning sun. It did not take long for the silence to be broken, as a voice echoed from behind a hedge.</p><p>“I do not understand, Sylvain. Dorothea was saying that we cannot judge ‘books by their covers.’ Why can we not judge the book by the cover?”</p><p>“Oh, Petra…that just…” The cavalier paused for a moment, as his voice darkened. “It means you can’t figure out whether a person’s good or bad by how they look on the surface. It’s…it’s like what the Church does. Telling people they’re not worthwhile because they don’t have a Crest, or because they come from someplace different.” Instantly, his good humor returned. “Besides, sometimes people are a lot nicer than they seem. Like Edelgard!” </p><p>The Flame Emperor tried to ignore the smirk that had formed on Byleth’s face, and quickly stood. She could hear Petra let out a low hum of comprehension.</p><p>“That makes sense. I was telling Dorothea about how you are always secretly helping me with understanding the language, and she said it about you.” </p><p>Sylvain howled with laughter. “Well, tell her thanks, even if I’m not sure she’s right. Besides, it’s the least I can do for such a good friend, considering how awful this continent treats people like you and Dedue. I-“ He paused as Edelgard walked into his field of vision, and gave a melodramatic bow. “Your Majesty…I hope you know that <em>any</em> comments I made about your temper were <em>solely</em> for Petra’s…”</p><p>“Quiet, you.” Edelgard adopted as stern a face as she could manage, trying to hide the grin that threatened to erupt from her. “I have important news.” She could see her friends’ faces darken, as the reality of war seemed to momentarily envelop them.</p><p>Petra stood, her blade at the ready. “What is it, Edelgard? What has happened?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor let out a small, gentle burst of mirth, and gestured to the empty space next to her. “See for yourself.” Behind the Flame Emperor’s outstretched arm, Byleth Eisner walked into view. </p><p>For a few seconds, Petra and Sylvain stared at their teacher, unable to speak or move or breathe, their faces lit up with a mixture of joy and shock. There had been so much death. So much suffering, but now, their teacher had given them another miracle.</p><p>Petra was the first to break the spell, nearly tackling the Ashen Demon in her exuberance. “Professor! It is you! You are really back!” Few of the students were as close to the Professor as Petra, who understood the feeling of being an outsider better than anyone. The princess of Brigid ran her hands through her teacher’s verdant hair. “I missed you so much, Professor. Each day you were gone, I was filled with sadness for never telling you how much you meant to me. When I was a student, I was so lonely. My only thoughts were what my people needed. But you told me I must follow my own heart. And every day, I tried to become the person you wanted me to be. Someone who fights for what is dear to them.” </p><p>Byleth’s green eyes shown with pride. “And what are you fighting for, Petra?”</p><p>Petra looked at Edelgard and smiled. “Now, I am fighting for my friend Edelgard, who watched over me when I was taken to this country. I am fighting for Dorothea, who is special to me. And I have been fighting to become stronger, to protect my friends in the Black Eagles.” She clenched her fist. “Professor, I will show you how strong I have become…like the…the pillar of strength!” She turned back to Sylvain, whose brown eyes were oddly glassy in the morning sun. “Am I using those words correctly, Sylvain?”</p><p>Sylvain looked at Edelgard and smiled. “Yeah, princess…you are.” He reached out a hand to his teacher. “Prof, it’s good to see you. You know, some of us…some of us got pretty emotional when you vanished…mostly the women, of course.” He waved his arm, and let out an awkward chuckle. “You meant a lot to…people around here. You always made us want to be better, and for you to just disappear like that…without getting a chance to say goodbye…” He trailed off, hand still awkwardly extended. </p><p>Byleth stared at him, before her placid features lit up with joy. She grabbed his wrist, and held it tightly. “I’m very happy to see you too, Sylvain. Are you still causing trouble for Edelgard and everyone else?”</p><p>Sylvain looked down at his teacher’s calloused hand, and gave her a wink. “Nothing they can’t handle. So where the hell have you been? Did you decide to take an expedition to Dagda, or something?”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head. “There will be time for that later. Can you help us locate the rest of the Strike Force? We’d like it to be a surprise.”</p><p>Sylvain gave the Emperor a mock salute. “Your Majesty…to bother Linhardt at this early hour would be my great and genuine honor.” He turned to run toward the lodgings of his comrades, before he stopped and grabbed Byleth in a warm embrace.“Professor, before I go, I gotta tell you something I should’ve said five years ago. I never know what to say at something like this…but you always believed in me, no matter how much of a bastard I was. Goddess, my own dad and brother didn’t care…hell, I didn’t even like myself.” A hitch developed in his voice. “Damn it…I’m just so glad to see you again.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Sylvain had informed the Emperor that Marianne and Bernadetta could be found in the greenhouse, which was far from unusual. Over the five years, the two women had become inseparable, supporting each other in ways both great and small. For so long, they had viewed themselves as burdens…victims who stood apart from the rest of the world. They were defined not by who they were, but by what the world had done to them. But with the friendship of the Strike Force, all that had changed.</p><p>“My friends.” Edelgard said warmly, with a practiced and easy calmness that her friendship with the two women had taught her. “I must apologize for missing our regular gardening appointment.” </p><p>Bernadetta smiled warmly at the Emperor, as she carefully fed her beloved flytraps a few small insects. “It’s f-fine, Edelgard. Marianne was going to move some of the Professor’s lilies over here, but I said you’d be mad if we moved her plants and I-“ She paused, as Marianne rested a hand on her shoulder.</p><p>“There’s nothing to worry about, Bernadetta. She won’t be angry. Isn’t that right, Edelgard?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor nodded, and looked up at the anxious archer. “Bernadetta. You must remember what we’ve told you. You can’t keep jumping to conclusions and assuming that people are angry. I’m sure the Professor approves of whatever decisions you make.”</p><p>Bernadetta’s body shook for a moment, before the girl found a new inner spring of courage. “All right…but…are you sure she wouldn’t be upset? She was always so…so amazing, and I’m…me.”</p><p>“Bernadetta.” Edelgard’s face lit up with a grin. “Why don’t you ask her?” </p><p>Behind the two women, the door to the greenhouse opened, and Byleth Eisner greeted Marianne and Bernadetta with a gentle wave. As the initial waves of shock and joy passed over the two students, Marianne quickly regained her composure. Bernadetta, however, leapt forward and grabbed Byleth’s arms.</p><p>“Professor! You’re alive! It’s me! Bernie! Did you recognize me!?” She pointed to her neatly trimmed purple hair, and carefully pressed outfit. Edelgard awkwardly shuffled to the side, only now fully appreciating how the archer loomed over the Flame Emperor.  Bernadetta tightened her hold on her teacher’s hands, body and voice quivering with excitement. “You know, every time I felt scared or thought about my dad…I thought of you. I said to myself, ‘Bernie, if the Professor can fight a big scary monster, all by herself, you can be brave too!’ I wanted to make you proud, because you always looked out for me, even though I ran and hid in my room from everything and I’m so…” </p><p>“Bernadetta.” Byleth reached down and touched her student’s cheek with maternal affection, stopping the torrent of words. “I am very, very proud. Edelgard has been telling me about how brave you’ve been, and how many battles you’ve fought in.” For a moment, her stoic face was filled with sorrow. “I only wish I could have been there to help you more.”</p><p>The archer hopped up and down with excitement. “T-that’s okay! You’re here now! And I know everyone’s going to feel better having you fighting alongside us. Especially Edelgard! She really needed-” Bernadetta saw the blush that had formed on the Emperor’s cheeks, and covered her face with her hands. “S-sorry Edelgard …”</p><p>Byleth wrapped her arm around the Flame Emperor and began to laugh, before her gaze fell to the back of the greenhouse. “Marianne. It’s wonderful to see you as well.”</p><p>The adoptive daughter of Margrave Edmund gave her teacher a gentle smile. “I don’t want to impose…are you sure you don’t need to speak with the other Black Eagles first?”</p><p>Edelgard grabbed her friend’s arm, and gently but firmly guided Marianne to her beloved Professor. For a few seconds, the healer stood shyly in front of her teacher, unsure of what to say. Byleth placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I heard you passed the certification to become a Holy Knight. I’m so happy for you.” The girl’s face, no longer carrying the darkened circles and reddened eyes from so many sleepless nights, was filled with pride. “And you look…different, Marianne.”</p><p>“That’s because of you, Professor. You and everyone else.” The cleric clasped her hands together. “Do you remember what I told you I prayed for, years ago?”</p><p>Byleth nodded. “You said you were praying to the Goddess for thanks and protection.”</p><p>“That…wasn’t true.” Marianne looked at each of her friends, a brief spasm of distress flitting over her face. “Back then, I felt that my life was…meaningless and that I was nothing more than a burden. Even my adoptive family didn’t want me. In truth…I was begging the Goddess to take me to Her. That was my daily prayer, but now I have something I believe in, and fight for. I want to live, Professor.” She smiled at her close friends Bernadetta and Edelgard. “I want to make a world where everyone is cherished by the Goddess, just for who they are. And I only was able to do that because you supported me, Professor…because I found people who loved me for who I was.”</p><p>Byleth watched Marianne for a moment, before she pulled the girl in for a warm, deep embrace. The normally flat voice of the Ashen Demon swelled with emotion. “I feel the same, Marianne. For years, I was looking for something…a place to belong. And I found it.” As she held Marianne in her arms, Byleth’s emerald eyes fell onto Edelgard. “I’m never leaving any of you...ever again.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The dining hall was normally empty at this time of the morning, except for two people who still maintained a regular schedule from their academy days. Linhardt and Dorothea, for vastly different reasons, had been the target of endless gossip and scorn during their time as students. The noble who seemed to lack any propriety and the commoner who had flirted and seduced her way into the academy seemed to have little in common; but they both did not belong, and that was the strongest bond of all.</p><p>As Edelgard guided her teacher toward the familiar space, the joyful moments and cherished memories from a hundred dinners and feasts still seemed to linger in the air. The Flame Emperor turned to her teacher. There was a knowledge of her teacher’s moods that only came from absolute devotion, and it allowed the Emperor to see the bittersweet feelings that lingered under Byleth’s stoic surface. A longing for a time that could no longer be. Edelgard tried to push aside her guilt, and opened the door.</p><p>Linhardt was the first to notice, his half-lidded eyes going wide with surprise. Despite, or perhaps because of, his clear astonishment, he remained motionless in his seat. The action caused Dorothea to turn, and her beautiful features cycled through a hundred different emotions-astonishment, joy, relief, wonder…and then that angelic face filled with tears.</p><p>“Professor!” The great performer of the Mittlefrank Opera Company grabbed her teacher, and began to sob, desperately clutching Byleth Eisner as if she would somehow vanish from the diva’s grasp. “How are you alive? Is it…really you? You still look the same-”</p><p>“It is, Dorothea.” The Ashen Demon rested her forehead against the songstress, and the two women paused for a moment, relishing the simple connection. “I’m so sorry I left you.”</p><p>“Oh, Goddess…” Dorothea looked up at her teacher and smiled. “You haven’t changed at all. Still thinking of everyone else, even when I’m sure you’ve gone through so much…” She trailed off. “We missed you. Edie, and me, and everyone else. It’s been…” Five years of war and death and heartache seemed to crush the girl’s spirit in a single instant. “Just knowing you’re alive…it feels like hope. Like I have a reason to live again.”</p><p>“Yes, this is rather nice.” Linhardt let out a loud yawn, interrupting the tender moment. “You always did have the ability to get people to smile. And Edelgard has been even more of a pain since you’ve been gone, so I can’t say I’m not excited. Easier for me to get out of training exercises, and all that.”</p><p>“Oh no you don’t, Lin!” Dorothea shook her head, a broad smile on her face. “You missed her just as much as any of us!” She turned to Edelgard, and began to laugh with a lightness and freedom that had been trampled by endless years of conflict and war. “Goddess, Professor. Do you know what you meant to all of us? To have a person who cared, and listened, and looked beneath the surface? You always saw something wonderful in me, and that’s why I could hold my head up high. No matter what the nobles or the Church or the Goddess thought, I could always hang onto that.” She wrapped an arm around her dear friend, the Emperor of Adrestia. “That’s why we’re both still fighting for Edie, no matter how painful it gets.”</p><p>“<em>I’m</em> fighting for Edelgard because if I didn’t, she’d chase me all around Fodlan with that ax of hers until I did.” Linhardt shrugged. “And…she does seem to care about all of us, and wants us to succeed. You did rub off on her, Professor, quite a bit. I suppose a world where nobles and commoners are free to follow their own path is worth fighting for…” The scholar gave the Ashen Demon a brusque nod. “Now, if all the pleasantries are concluded, I really do need to take a look at you. It seems you haven’t aged in these past five years…I can’t help but wonder if your Crest contains a revitalizing-”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Linhardt, who seemed to have an encyclopedic knowledge of how to avoid where military maneuvers were taking place, informed the two women that Caspar and Ferdinand were training a battalion of Imperial soldiers. Byleth and Edelgard loitered in the shadows, watching as two of the most renowned generals of the Imperial army held court.</p><p>“My fellow soldiers…” began Ferdinand with typical aplomb. “I look at the faces before me…see the hunger for glory and for fame, the need to be remembered…and I see myself. For so long, I felt that the worth of a man’s life lay in how history remembered him. If a name was not recalled in the pages of history…then what was its worth?” He shook his head. “I must admit my error. Each of you is already part of a greater and grander legacy than you can ever imagine. Do you not agree, my partner in justice?”</p><p>Caspar stared forward, until Ferdinand gently tapped him on the back. “Who, me? Oh…yeah! Listen. Ferdinand talks a lot, but he’s trying to say something really important, everybody.” He lifted a gauntlet toward the heavens. “Ferdinand and I used to both worry all the time about what people thought of us. Ferdinand’s gonna be the Prime Minister…and I had to make my own path, cause I didn’t get a Crest. We both were fighting so we didn’t let people down. Just like a lot of you, I bet.”</p><p>Ferdinand gave his cape a dramatic twirl. “Once, that fear caused me to be consumed with self-pity. Fretting about how I would never surpass my sworn rival, or live up to my family name. Then, the wisest woman I have ever met told me something I will never forget…” </p><p>“You always tell ‘em that story, Ferdinand!”</p><p>“My friend, if a story is worth telling once, it is worth telling a hundred times…Now where was I? Ah yes…I was despairing of my place in the world, and how no one would remember the legacy of Ferdinand von Aegir, when my old Professor at Garreg Mach took me aside and said…”</p><p>Edelgard turned to Byleth, and saw her teacher’s eyes shimmer, as she silently mouthed the words along with Ferdinand.</p><p>“The only legacy that matters is the one that greets you in the mirror each morning.” </p><p>Caspar nodded. “And Professor Byleth was right! She always told me that everyone can contribute in their own way. No matter what happens…no matter how bad things get, you guys gotta remember that we’re all doing something really great! We’re fighting for the people that can’t!” He wrapped his arm around Ferdinand’s neck, causing the noblest of nobles to momentarily stagger. “The Emperor’s always talking about her big plans for the future, and for a long time, I didn’t get what she meant. But all she really wants is to make a world where everybody gets noticed for who they are, and not for where they come from. And you’re all part of that too!”</p><p>“Take heart, my friends!” exclaimed Ferdinand, building to a crescendo. “The Empire’s victories are your victories! Her glories, yours! We shall fight together, to the end of this dream, and you too, will look in the mirror with pride!”</p><p>As the battalion dispersed, Edelgard greeted her friends with an enthusiasm and warmth that would have been unthinkable five years ago. “I must say, Ferdinand, your speeches have become even more rousing. I may call upon you next time I find myself at a loss for a turn of phrase.”</p><p>Caspar laughed and slapped the Emperor on the back. “As if you’d ever get tired of hearing yourself talk, Edelgard!” He laughed as Edelgard’s face contorted with exasperation. “So why are you checking in on us? You looking for Ingrid or Hubert?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor’s sternness melted away. “No…a mutual friend wanted to congratulate you both on your address.” Byleth emerged from the shadows, pride radiating from the teacher of the Black Eagles. </p><p>“Caspar…Ferdinand…” Byleth held her hand to her chest. “You remembered what I told you.”</p><p>The second son of Count Bergliez burst forward with the force of an explosion, and lifted his teacher high in the air. “Professor Byleth! It’s you! We…” He spun her around and lifted her onto his shoulder, exuberance momentarily overwhelming his ability to speak. “I always knew you weren’t dead! I always figured you were off having really great adventures, especially after Edelgard kept telling us all you’d come back!”</p><p>Byleth tried to recover from the nausea that Caspar’s impromptu piggyback ride had inspired, and smiled at Ferdinand. “You’ve become quite the leader, Ferdinand. I always knew you would.”</p><p>The heir to House Aegir nodded. “Because of your guidance, I am finally happy with who I am. I fight not for the glory of my name, but for those I love…Hubert, Marianne, the Black Eagles…” He looked at the two women, before pulling them in for a warm, enthusiastic embrace. “And my friends, the Emperor and Professor Byleth.”</p><p>As Byleth and Edelgard struggled to extricate themselves from Ferdinand’s iron grip, Caspar’s rambunctious voice echoed over the ancient bricks of Garreg Mach.</p><p>“Speaking of love…gosh, Professor, you should have seen when you disappeared. When Edelgard couldn’t find you, she was a total wreck. Did you know she spent every weekend searching….” </p><p>It took every bit of the future Prime Minister’s strength to restrain the Flame Emperor, and prevent her from chasing down a snickering Caspar von Bergliez.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Unless there was an urgent need, the library of Garreg Mach lay fallow. Occasionally, Linhardt or Professor Hanneman could be found lingering among the shelves, but there was only one regular pair of visitors to the ancient collection of tomes.</p><p>Lysithea von Ordelia was perhaps the most gifted student in the Black Eagles, her age belying a truly staggering intellect. She had spent her limited years honing her mind, studying everything she could grasp, all in a frantic attempt to ensure that her parent’s future would be secure. The Emperor’s support had calmed those monetary concerns, but there was another void, deep in Lysithea’s soul. </p><p>The Agarthians had stolen her future. Turned her into an experiment, ruining her life solely as a test for their depraved research on the Imperial royal family. Her family’s torture, the defining moments of the mage’s young life, was nothing more than an afterthought to her tormentors. </p><p>So when the young Agarthian had defected to the Black Eagles, Lysithea had been understandably wary. That is, until the mage found out the truth; that Monica was meant to be a sacrifice. The sole purpose of her existence, the entire reason the giggling spy had been made, was to die. Everything had changed after that.</p><p>Disposable assassins didn’t need to know about how to write a letter, or how to cook a meal. They did not need to have a favorite book, or know what music they enjoyed. So Lysithea took her under her wing, and tried to help a kindred spirit adjust to a world she had never been expected to join. After all…experiments weren’t supposed to have those things either.</p><p>Edelgard and Byleth found the two women, quietly seated at one of the long wooden tables in the darkened library. The Emperor knew from experience that both of them were loath to be startled, and Edelgard certainly understood the intrusive hold that traumatic memories could have on one’s life. She made sure her the clacking of her heels was just a little bit louder, and was relieved to see Lysithea turn around.</p><p>“Edelgard!” The young mage said with immeasurable fondness. “We were just working on Monica’s handwriting-“ And then, Lysithea stopped, struck dumb by the familiar spark of green hair. Her mouth dropped open, filled with awe. “Professor…it can’t be…”</p><p>Byleth knelt in front of the Alliance noble’s chair, and gently held her student’s hand. “It’s really me, Lysithea. I’m here.” The Ashen Demon’s gaze fell on the girl’s pale skin, and smiled. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>“Strong.” Lysithea nodded, seeming to take immense strength from the contact with her teacher. “Resolved. Edelgard and I are going to make this world better, and that gave me the will to keep fighting, even when you were gone. I knew that was what you wanted me to do.” She studied her teacher with a scholar’s inquisitive eye. “You look the exact same. What happened to you?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor shook her head. “We’re not sure. I have a few suspicions on what Rhea may have attempted, but with our research in the Abyss slowed…” Edelgard turned to Monica, who had seemed to shrink into herself. She gave the Agarthian a squeeze on the shoulder, and what she truly wished was a comforting smile. “Monica…there is no need to conceal yourself. Professor Byleth wanted to see you as well.”</p><p>Monica anxiously stroked the long strands of her ponytail, before she dared to look at the women who had meant so much to her. “Professor…I…I…” She covered her face with her hands. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>Byleth’s head tilted with surprise and shock, before she gently lifted her student’s chin, forcing the Agarthian to meet her calm gaze. “Why are you apologizing? Edelgard told me of all you have done. You have so much to be proud of.”</p><p>“Because…because you thought I could be good. Every day, for five years, every time I had to push down the bad voices, the ones that I used to listen to every day, I’d just remember how you looked at me that day in the forest, and I tried to make you proud. No one ever…looked at me like that.” The girl’s head darted around, as if hoping to burrow into the floorboards and escape her embarrassment and guilt. “If anyone deserved to…to…disappear, it was me. Each time that Lysi or Edel or anyone else was nice to me, or I had a warm meal or…or anything, I kept thinking that it should have been me…not you. Anybody but you, Professor.”</p><p>“You’re learning that you aren’t your sword, or the blood on your hands, Monica. It took me so long…” Byleth trailed off, and looked at the open books, resting on the table. “Has Lysithea been helping you find out what you enjoy?” When Monica gave a tentative nod, Byleth looked at the Flame Emperor and smiled. “Helping people like Monica and me…you two really are so much alike, Edelgard. I can see why you and Lysithea think of each other as sisters.”</p><p>The two white haired nobles began to blush at the outrageous bluntness of Byleth’s statement. The Ashen Demon tilted her head, and looked at Monica like she was studying a diagram on the blackboard in the Black Eagle classroom. The Agarthian shuffled in her seat, clearly unnerved. Finally, Byleth arrived at some internal decision, and snapped her fingers together. </p><p>“Yes. That’s what we’ll do.” Byleth knelt, and grabbed her student’s hands. “When you graduate, you’re going to need a last name. For the certificate.” </p><p>Lysithea shot a confused glance at Edelgard, completely taken aback. “Professor…we already have…it’s been five years since…”</p><p>“No.” Byleth nodded firmly, surprising both Edelgard and Lysithea with the ardor in her voice. “If you’re still my students, you still need me. I protect you…that’s what I’m meant to do. That’s why I came back.” The Ashen Demon turned back to Monica, the candlelight dancing on her emerald hair. “I used to ask my Papa why I couldn’t have a brother or sister. I didn’t like being alone…and now I’m the only one left.” The normally blank face of the Ashen Demon lit up with a smile. “Would you like to be an Eisner too?” </p><p>Monica’s expression was hidden by the flickering shadows in the library. “How can you…I’m a monster…a demon! I killed and hurt and…and…” Her voice shattered. “Even my own people didn’t want me! Your father died protecting me. He wouldn’t want someone like…like...I don’t deserve a family!”</p><p>“Everyone deserves a family, Monica.” Byleth’s calm voice plainly stated that discussion was closed. “And people called me a demon too, until I found someone who believed in me.” Byleth squeezed Edelgard’s hand. “Every day, for five years, you made a decision to be better, no matter how hard or lonely or difficult it was. And you’re fighting so everyone else can have that chance too. I know my Papa. He walked away from a life in the Kingdom, because he realized that it was wrong. He left Garreg Mach to protect me. He did what was right, not what was easy. Just like when he saved you.” She extended an arm. “I know he’d be proud to have a daughter like you.”</p><p>Monica stood, and looked Byleth in the eye. She tried to speak, but no words came out. After a few seconds, she managed to nod, as the desperate, aching vacuum at the girl’s core, her blind search for some purpose, was finally filled. She embraced Byleth, silently clinging to the woman who had been her salvation.</p><p>“I’m so proud of you, Monica. We all are.” Lysithea placed a gentle hand on her friend’s shoulder. “It’s been five years since we’ve all been able to have some sweets together…and like Claude used to say, I think this calls for a celebration, don’t you?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard and Byleth had searched every inch of the monastery for Shamir and Ingrid. As two of the most competent and stalwart members of the Imperial Army, Edelgard assumed that Hubert had recruited them to deal with whatever issue was present in the Abyss. For that reason, it was a pleasant surprise to find Jeritza lingering in the middle of Garreg Mach. When he saw Byleth, his expression did not change, only allowing a cursory nod.</p><p>“Ah…I knew you lived. I have waited for this day. A chance to feel your sword bend against mine. To feel your breath against my face. Soon, our great dance of death will be concluded, Byleth Eisner, and I-“</p><p>“Yes, yes, Jeritza, I’m sure it will be a duel for the ages.” muttered Edelgard. “Remember, you can only kill her after the war’s over. Now, have you seen Shamir or Ingrid?”</p><p>The gigantic man tilted his head downward. “My partner and your guard are with Count Vestra, Your Majesty. They made a…discovery in the Abyss. One that he believed to be of foremost importance. They are in the Great Hall.”</p><p>As they left the man lingering in the courtyard, Byleth turned to Edelgard, a mischievous expression on her face. “So after you use me to win the war, you’re going to let him kill me?” </p><p>“Nonsense, my teacher,” said Edelgard, gaze still focused on her destination. “He will obtain the help he needs, and besides…” She allowed a smile to peek through. “No one’s stronger than you, my lov- My teacher! I mean, my teacher!”</p><p>“Oh, it’s okay, little flower…” Byleth leaned down and kissed Edelgard, sending the girl’s heart fluttering. “I know what you meant.”</p><p>As the door to the Great Hall opened, Hubert could be found conversing with Ingrid and Shamir, all three of their expressions comically stern. Of course, considering their natures, this was no clue as to the true nature of the emergency. Hubert was the first to see them, and quickly bowed.</p><p>For a moment, Ingrid and Shamir gave a brusque nod of acknowledgement to the Emperor, before they noticed her companion. Shamir’s eyes widened slightly, while Ingrid quickly dove to her knees.</p><p>“Professor!” Ingrid averted her gaze. “I…I’m so relieved to see you! I hope you know that I have been diligent in my training, even in your absence. My spearwork has improved a fair bit, though I would appreciate some guidance on my sword-“</p><p>“Ingrid.” Byleth gently pulled her student to her feet. “I’m sure you’ve become even stronger, and there will be time to show me, but I’m much happier to see you alive and safe.”</p><p>The pegasus knight smiled. “I look forward to it, Professor! It’s just…I was supposed to defend you, and what knight allows someone they care for to…to…” She trailed off, consumed with guilt.</p><p>“You watched over Edelgard for these five years, didn’t you?” Byleth smiled warmly. “There’s no one I would have trusted more. Thank you, Ingrid. I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become.”</p><p>“You’re proud…of me.” Ingrid repeated the words softly to herself, as if struck by a thunderclap, before she grabbed her teacher tightly. “Goddess, Professor…I’m so bad at this, and battle is all I know, but…it’s so wonderful to see you.” The two women held each other for a few moments, before Edelgard gave a quiet cough.</p><p>“I just want to point out that you kneel for Professor Byleth, and not for me,” said Edelgard with a self-deprecating sigh. “But such are the burdens of the Emperor.”</p><p>“Oh, get over yourself, you utter nitwit,” said Ingrid, happiness radiating from her face. “Must you ruin this reunion too? Honestly, if I’m uptight, you complain. If I get emotional…” Hubert who had listened to the two women banter countless times, looked toward the heavens, completely exasperated.</p><p>“Ingrid, we’ve talked about this, you’re a general in the Imperial Army. You must have faith in yourself and your talents. Regardless…I’m sorry. I knew you both would want to see her, but we’ve been trying to find you all day.” </p><p>Shamir crossed her arms, expression still laconic, despite the emotion of the moment. “Hey, something came up, and business is business. But…” She looked at Byleth for a moment, before she extended an arm. “Good to have you back, partner.” </p><p>Byleth looked at Shamir for a moment, head tilted in confusion. “You aren’t surprised? That I’m alive?”</p><p>The Dagdan archer smirked. “I’ve seen what you can do. I knew you wouldn’t go out like that, especially with Edelgard…” She saw Hubert giving her a murderous glare, and let out a rare quiet burst of laughter. “Sorry, <em>Her Majesty</em>, going on and on about how you were coming back. Still…” She clasped Byleth’s hands tightly. “It’s good to see you. The…battles haven’t been the same, without you watching my back.”</p><p>“Well…” said Byleth, with an unusual lightness breaking through her monotone. “You won’t fight alone again.”</p><p>Ingrid elbowed her best friend in the ribs, and laughed. “Goodness, Edelgard, is this how we look to everyone else?”</p><p>“Oh, the two of you are much more vexing, Lady Galatea,” muttered Hubert. “Still…as much as I do not wish to ruin the moment-“</p><p>“Unlikely” whispered Ingrid, sending Edelgard into a fit of giggles.</p><p>“Lady Galatea…as much as I enjoy our <em>unique</em> rapport…we really should inform Lady Edelgard of our discovery.” At Hubert’s words, the knight’s face darkened. Hubert and Ingrid pulled the Emperor into the shadows.</p><p>“What is it, you two?” said the Emperor with alarm. “For you both to be worried like this…”</p><p>“We…found a body in the Abyss, Edelgard,” said Ingrid. “A woman. We can’t be sure, but given what you found in Rhea’s diary, and other factors…” She paused. “We think it’s Professor Byleth’s mother. I swear to the Goddess above, I always believed the Church was a force for order, but for the Archbishop to keep a woman from a proper burial…how could they dare to call themselves knights!” The betrayal and anger in Ingrid’s voice was painful to witness.</p><p>Hubert watched Byleth, still conversing with Shamir. “Do you wish to tell her? Of what we’ve found?” </p><p>Edelgard saw the smile on her teacher’s face, and felt a tide of selfishness wash over her. “She has just returned from a terrible experience. There will be time to confront these sins soon enough…but today, my friends…” She turned toward her two dear companions and smiled. “We’ve been given a miracle…just for today, let her have peace.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
The Black Eagles Strike Force had assembled, and Edelgard had given a rousing speech, laying out her plans for a surprise assault on the Great Bridge of Myrddin. The Emperor could see the emotions of her friends-the mixture of fear and resolve and guilt that would only increase as the toil of the war continued. There would doubtless be former members of the Golden Deer guarding such a valuable location, and that knowledge’s oppressive weight hung in the air. The Flame Emperor was haunted by the looks of anguish on Marianne and Dorothea’s faces, and the conflict that hid behind Ingrid and Lysithea’s eyes.</p><p>Still, with Byleth at her side…the words seemed a little simpler, and the weight of her position not quite as crushing. Her teacher was with her again. It seemed unreal, and yet it was true. She would have called it a gift from the Goddess, if Edelgard had still allowed herself to say such things. Nevertheless, the Flame Emperor could not ignore the strange melancholy that lingered on the Ashen Demon’s face as she quietly listened to her student’s grand vision.</p><p>After plans had been finalized, Edelgard had slipped outside, removing the ornate crown from her head, and allowing the night breeze to calm her fretful spirit. If this strike was successful, she would have a way to break the stalemate, and end this war. She could avenge her family, and create a new world where no more children would feel the emptiness-</p><p>The caress of a calloused hand disturbed Edelgard from her ruminations. “My teacher…” The Emperor smiled warmly. “You startled me.” Byleth did not respond, a small smile forming at the corners of her lips as she stared into the blackness of the night sky. Edelgard searched for the words, afraid to break the spell. “Professor…I’ve been thinking about what you said today.”</p><p>Byleth looked down, and let out a low hum. “What part, little flower?”</p><p>“When you told me that I was still your teacher, or when you said the same thing to Monica and Lysithea. You seemed…sad. Or perhaps, worried might be the better word.” The harsh mask of the Flame Emperor fell away. “I know this is the height of hypocrisy…but are you concealing something from me?”</p><p>The Ashen Demon laughed, still unable to meet Edelgard’s gaze. She looked down at her clenched fist. “Without the Eagles…what am I, really, Edelgard?”</p><p>Edelgard stared at her teacher, astonished that she would say such things. This was Byleth Eisner! Renowned mercenary! Acclaimed teacher! The woman that even the Goddess would not permit to die! The person that Edelgard believed in, above all others! How could she doubt her worth? Without Byleth, Edelgard was…was nothing.</p><p>Byleth continued to speak, to her student, the infinite void of the sky, and to herself, all at once. “When I came to Garreg Mach, I found something I’d been searching for my whole life. I was dead inside, Edelgard. But when I realized that everyone here needed me…it made me feel…” She looked down at her chest, an unreadable expression marring her features. “And now I’m back…and even though everyone is happy to see me…I don’t think they need me anymore. I even look younger than most of you now. You all survived, and got stronger over these five years. It can’t be like before.”</p><p>Edelgard placed a gloved hand on her teacher’s cheek. “You saw the faces of our friends today. The joy and happiness when they realized you were alive. They weren’t happy because the Enlightened One was there, or the Ashen Demon, or even our teacher. It was because it was you, Byleth Eisner.” With a deep breath, she pulled off her glove, revealing the scarred fingers that lay beneath. “Each of us was carrying so many secret wounds, before we met you. But you cherished each and every one of us, and allowed us to be our best selves. That’s why they adore you. That’s why I love you.”</p><p>Byleth closed her eyes, resting her head against Edelgard’s open palm. </p><p>“You’re the most wonderful, strange, beautiful person I’ve ever met,” whispered the Emperor of Adrestia, her words mingling with the cool evening air. “All I want you to be is yourself, standing at my side. That’s more than enough.” </p><p>She leaned forward, her lips meeting her teacher’s, and Edelgard again dared to imagine a quiet cottage, and peaceful days. She thought of flowers, and notebooks, and warm arms, and all the quiet pleasures that her position had denied her. She thought of the person she wanted to be, deep inside, and how being near this strange, heavenly woman made her believe that such childish dreams were possible. </p><p>“My teacher…” Edelgard looked up at the woman she loved. “You have had a truly taxing day. Go rest. Emperor’s orders.”</p><p>The woman gave a deep and clumsy bow. “As you command, Emperor Hresvelg.” Byleth walked toward her lodgings, and it took every bit of self-command Edelgard possessed to avoid chasing after her. The Ashen Demon paused, her silhouette blending into the darkness. “You always worried about me, Edelgard. About all the scars I was carrying…that’s why I love you.” She turned back, and with her face illuminated in the moonlight, she looked like an frieze of the Goddess Herself. “Good night, little flower.”</p><p>“Good night, my teacher.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor huddled against the railing, as the chill of the evening air caused the girl to begin to shiver. Her mind was distracted by a thousand things-the war, her siblings, the cryptic words in Rhea’s diary…but most of all, she thought of Byleth Eisner. Her face, her voice, her smile…and what place the Goddess’ favored child would have in the world of humanity that Edelgard wished to build. She was so consumed with worry and doubt and the memory of Byleth’s lips against hers, that she almost did not hear the voice behind her.</p><p>“This may not be the best place to sit and think, my dear…an archer may decide to take a shot at you.”</p><p>Edelgard turned to Manuela and let out a light chuckle. “You aren’t wrong. Shall we take a walk, Professor Manuela?”</p><p>Perhaps it was her medical training, or her immense kindness, but Edelgard had always felt comfortable with the former opera star. They wandered the paths of Garreg Mach for a few minutes, the Emperor’s face still aimed at the ground. Suddenly, the words spilled from the Flame Emperor’s mouth without warning.</p><p>“Professor Manuela…may I ask you a question?” </p><p>“Of course, Edelgard. It seems the very least I can do.”</p><p>Edelgard paused, before she found the courage to move forward. “Why do you fight for me? I…think about people like you, or Marianne, who are devoted to the Goddess, and Her church. Byleth considers the Goddess her friend. And yet…my aim is to create a world where people are free to choose their own destiny, without the interference of gods.” She looked down at her crimson armor. The color of blood. “To do so, I would crush your…emotional and spiritual support. Despite all that, you’re still here. Still supporting me. Even Byleth is, when she could have chosen to stand by Dimitri, or Claude…”</p><p>Manuela did not speak for countless minutes, her head lowered in what Edelgard assumed was prayer. The Flame Emperor could remember the rituals-the bowed head, the arms clasped together in supplication…but it seemed so terribly alien. Edelgard was part of a different world, and those consolations were no longer meant for her.</p><p>The cleric seemed to arrive at a decision, and raised her head. “I’m a healer, Edelgard. I’ve held the hands of countless people as they passed on, and I can tell you something most of the Church doesn’t want you to hear…even the most devoted believer is scared of what lies beyond. So many have loved the Goddess, with immense faith, and yet She stays silent, even as they die.”</p><p>Edelgard felt an anger explode out of her. “Then what good <em>is She!</em>” The Emperor clenched her fists. “If She doesn’t help, then what good are prayers?! What good is any of it?! It makes a mockery of all the little girls who…” She trailed off, filled with fear at revealing the endless rage that simmered at the core of her being. “My own faith…all my prayers…it didn’t mean anything, in the end.”</p><p>Manuela squeezed the girl’s shoulder. “The Goddess is…our silent foundation. She quietly watches our back, waiting for all of us to step forward. But sometimes, we need something more. A little shove.” The healer smiled, her eyes filled with a seemingly boundless compassion. “You…are the strength that pushes us forward to a better future. Some problems need that resolve. I’ve seen the scars you carry with you, Edelgard. Not just the ones on your body, but the ones on your soul. That courage is why you inspire people.” Manuela let out a chime of soft, gentle laughter. “You’re why some of us get out of bed in the morning.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor turned away, her vision blurred.</p><p>“I heard you talking to Byleth tonight…and I think you don’t realize something. That innocent angel relies on you, just as much as you rely on her. That’s why she was able to support your friends, and be there for them. Weren’t you listening to how happy they were today?” Manuela grasped her former student’s wrist. “I don’t ever want to hear you doubting yourself again. I know how you think. You feel like you stole her from Dimitri, and Claude, and all the other students…”</p><p>Edelgard gave a glum nod. “How did you know?”</p><p>“Because I was part of a theatre, a doctor, and a teacher…and I picked up one or two things about how people hide their real feelings. Now enough about me…” Manuela pulled Edelgard in to a maternal embrace. “You go get some rest, dear. You always are carrying so many burdens.”</p><p>“Is that the teacher talking, or the healer?” said Edelgard with a sly grin.</p><p>“Neither. I’m talking as your friend, and supporter. Now run along!”</p><p>As Edelgard collapsed her tired, battle-worn limbs into the comfort of her bed, she was again assaulted by all the endless fears and worries of her position. It was a millstone, a weight that for so long had seemed inescapable. Despite all the blood on her hands, and the anger in her heart, today had reminded her of an important truth. Byleth’s love had made the lives of her friends better…it had revealed the people they were always supposed to be, underneath the Crests and titles and expectations. That freedom was why she would fight. That was why she would soldier on, through the pain and guilt and heartbreak, to the end of the dream.</p><p>Byleth Eisner loved her, and for tonight, that was more than enough.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Three Houses is about a lot of things, but really, at the core, it's about trauma. What suffering turns us into, how we respond, and how other people are impacted by those responses. Everyone in this game is carrying grief or guilt or pain of some kind-from people like Dimitri and Claude to even characters we'd never suspect, like Professor Hanneman. For whatever flaws exist in Three Houses, I think that ambition, honesty, and generosity should be celebrated.</p><p>Byleth is an empty avatar. But that freedom, that ability to meet people without judgement is why she's able to see under the mask that everyone puts up, and help them be their best selves. But even that is a consequence of another person's grief-Rhea. Edeleth works so wonderfully for me, because she's just as concerned for Byleth's future and well-being as Byleth is for hers. Before we moved onto the war, and all that strum und drang, I wanted to explore that through the lens of each of the students.</p><p>A couple notes: Dimitri will get some sympathetic moments as well-they didn't fit into the opening elegantly. Sothis and Edelgard both explicitly use the phrase "cut your path" in the game which is pretty cool. Manuela and Edelgard's support is so, so good, and the JP version has a just lovely turn of phrase about how the Goddess watches our backs while Edelgard is the strength that pushes people forward.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. The Battle of the Great Bridge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>She could only truly remember flashes of brown hair. That was all. There were other half-remembered fragments; the faintest smell of perfume, or the soft touch of a hand. Still, the more Edelgard tried to remember, the more seemed to evade her grasp. Other people had mothers-all the Emperor of Adrestia had were shadows.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She stood alone in the Enbarr throne room, the auburn glow of the evening sun passing through familiar windows. She could feel the dread welling inside her, that terrible foreknowledge that something would soon emerge from the unknowable depths of her memories and fears. Edelgard’s identity was as deep and black and enigmatic as the ocean-ghosts built on top of ghosts built on a void.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The monarch searched, but could find no sign of her friends or enemies, the oppressive, silent weight of the space causing a slithering dread on the Emperor’s skin. She was alone. It was what she truly feared, even more than the chains or the darkness or the rats, because there was nothing more frightening than to be alone with her bottomless guilt and anger. So often, she busied herself in paperwork, working until her fingers cramped, and she could no longer hold a quill, just to drown out the terrors that nibbled at the edges of her mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was so still, the clacking of boots sounded like the eruption of a ballista. Edelgard whirled around, only to see the back of a woman with brown hair. The Flame Emperor felt the familiar pang of rejection, shooting up from somewhere deep within her, and knew who it must be.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Mother?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The figure did not turn around, despite the fact that all Edelgard wished was to hear her voice. To know what she sounded like. To feel what so many other children took for granted. The girl ran, and ran, and ran, her royal grandeur forgotten in a tangle of limbs. Somehow, El was smaller now, her body unscarred, her hair brown. She tugged on the back of her mother’s dress, a child begging with a meekness that would have surprised all who knew and feared the Flame Emperor. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Mother. Please. Just let me see you! Why did you leave me?” Anselma still refused to confront her daughter, still faceless, still a ghost. El felt the hollowness swallow her and began to yell, trying to shout down her sorrow. “I don’t know what I did wrong! I don’t understand!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her mother was just like the Goddess. Silent. Unknowable. Deaf to Edelgard’s suffering. The Flame Emperor knew she was tainted, inside and outside, scars marring her skin and her soul. She had killed and sacrificed and plotted and lied. She could see the faces of her friends, as the war she had started took away their inner light. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was no wonder the Goddess and her mother had left her to rot in the darkness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Do you really believe she wants to see you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The voice was familiar, harsh, filled with a bottomless feeling of betrayal. Edelgard turned and saw the King of Faerghus standing in front of her, his spear shining in the light. He took Anselma’s hand and began to guide her away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Dimitri! Stop!” Edelgard screamed at him, her normally even voice raw and hoarse. All the pain and anger she had held inside for over two decades came tumbling out of her. “Why are you taking her? She isn’t yours!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dimitri looked at her, with something resembling pity on his wild countenance. “Why? So you can forget her? Just like you forget everything else?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“NO! I just want a mother! Do you know how many nights I’ve thought about what I’d say? What I’d do? I’d love her, just as much as-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“As your friend from Faerghus?” The words struck with the force of a thunderclap. Dimitri’s face was eerily calm, his blue eyes piercing the Flame Emperor with all the strength of his relic lance. “He loved you so, so much. You were his best friend. The only person who didn’t laugh at him because of his long hair, or because he didn’t like to fight. And then…” The hulking figure paused, some great emotion overwhelming him. “And then…you forgot. You threw him away, as soon as you no longer needed him.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I…I…” Edelgard grasped the sides of her head, as a thousand needles seemed to jab at her temples. “I can’t remember! They took it from me, just like they took everything else! Just like they took everything that I <strong>was</strong>!” Anger covered her guilt, shielding it like her crimson armor. ”Don’t you dare tell me about what he’d want! He was gentle and sweet and…” She trailed off, a gloved hand resting on her chest. “I cared for him. More than anything.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The evening sun glistened off the king’s tangled mass of blond hair, as he gave Edelgard a small, sad smile. He stared at her for a moment, something desperate and pleading in the King’s posture, but he seemed unable to vocalize whatever haunted him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The great Emperor watched the man, before her words flew into the air, surprising even herself. “He’s the only reason I’m alive…now.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh?” Dimitri raised his gaze from the floor. “Why?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Ludwig’s men would carve into my flesh. For so many hours and days, time seemed to lose all meaning. Each and every mark on my skin showing how little they cared whether I lived or died.  And when it was over…” Edelgard’s arm began to tremble. “They’d leave me by myself, in the dark. Quivering on the floor, wondering when I’d be tortured next.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dimitri nodded, but remained silent.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“The boy…gave me a dagger. I don’t remember why. That was sliced out of me early on, along with his name, and so many other things. But…” She clutched the weapon tightly to her chest. “I do remember sitting there in the darkness, holding on to that gift, just repeating to myself what he’d told me. Reminding myself that someone, somewhere outside of the blackness, wanted me to live. It was…a prayer, I suppose, when all my other prayers had been seared out of me. I never forgot it, even when my mind was in tatters, and I had lost everything else. He told me to-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Cut your own path.” Dimitri finished the words for her, a smile on his tired, gaunt face. “And is that what you intend to do, Flame Emperor? Is this war, this bloodshed where your path leads?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, Dimitri. There was nowhere else it could.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All the pity on the monarch’s face melted away. “In Faerghus…they tell us that those who are not avenged…wander, as spirits. Trapped in a hell that only I have the power to release them from.” He grasped the sides of his head, filled with anguish. Edelgard’s alarm and sympathy intermingled as she watched Dimitri’s control slip. “I hear the voices of my family. Endlessly whispering, pleading for salvation, until I wish to tear my own ears out just to stop the sounds!” The overwhelming anxiety in his voice made even Edelgard flinch. “What good is your new dawn to the dead? I can’t let anyone else hear those voices. That is why I must stop you, and this war.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dimitri raised his spear, shielding Edelgard’s mother behind him. Following her instinct from years of battle, the Flame Emperor raised her dagger. Amid the ornate, byzantine architecture of Enbarr palace, it felt like a twisted work of art. The two rulers stood as still as statues, an unmistakable melancholy hanging in the air.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We both must act in honor of those we have lost,” said Edelgard.  “I am the last Hresvelg there will ever be, and those burdens....” She looked around the ancient, palatial space of her ancestors. “I suppose…we’re both trying to appease our parent’s ghosts.” She swallowed, and tightened her hold on her weapon. “And the ghosts of who we used to be.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How dare you defile her memory like that! How dare you hold that dagger, and pretend you deserve redemption!” snarled the phantom Dimitri. “Do you think they would want to see this twisted mockery of the person they knew? You aren’t that girl. You aren’t El!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I know!” Edelgard flung her dagger at the King of Faerghus, burying it in his shoulder. He looked down at the wound, face implacable. The monster could feel her body begin to twist and warp, limbs becoming skeletal and inhuman, eyes turning red. “I know I’m not her anymore! I know why my mother and the Goddess abandoned me!” Her voice lowered to an inhuman screech, as black wings erupted from her back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dimitri leaped in the air with a small portion of his superhuman strength, and drove his weapon through the demonic creature that was once Edelgard. As the fiend fell to earth, the King of Faerghus tightened his grip on the ancient relic lance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“They’ll find out, you know. Byleth and the Black Eagles. As they see you kill and conquer, and blacken their own souls in your name. They’ll figure out the secret that your mother, the boy, and even the Goddess realized. And they’ll leave you, just like everyone else did.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He pressed down on the spear with overwhelming force, sending pain shooting through the twisted husk of Edelgard’s body. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I want to hear you say it, Flame Emperor. I want you to admit it to yourself.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Through the pain, Edelgard looked up at the ceiling of Enbarr palace, at a fresco of the Goddess bestowing Crests on the worthy and beautiful. Sothis was maternal and affectionate, and the faces of those She loved were filled with adoration. It was so different than the blood and darkness of the palace dungeons. This world was a place where the mark of the Goddess determined a person’s worth, and Edelgard’s destiny had been determined long, long ago. She looked up at Dimitri’s face, and whispered the unspoken truth that had been carved into her body by the knives, and the cruelty, and the silence of the Goddess.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I deserved it. I deserved to be hurt.”</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><br/>
The Flame Emperor awoke with a start, her heart’s rapid beat refusing to subside. Whether her dreams were a nightmare from the past, or prophecies of terrors that would soon come, Edelgard always had the same ritual: She would put on her cloak, quietly unlock her door, and stroll amid the silence of Garreg Mach. It was preferable to watching the shadows dancing on the ceiling for hours, trying to push away the tide of bad memories. </p><p>As she took the long turn toward the Great Hall, she saw a familiar glint of green hair in the graveyard. After the recovery of Sitri’s body, Edelgard had insured that the woman was buried next to Jeralt. It seemed the least penance she could make, for all the pain her callousness had caused the Eisner family. Byleth had remained stoic throughout, an over-indulgence in alcohol the only visible sign of her distress. The sadness was there, however; an invisible phantom, haunting every motion the Ashen Demon made.</p><p>“You shouldn’t be up this late, my teacher.” Edelgard tried to strike an authoritative tone, afraid that any other pitch would disturb the fragile equilibrium of her emotions. “If I may be a bit insensitive…we leave for the Great Bridge tomorrow. You will need all your strength.”</p><p>“And what of you?” Byleth turned to her student with a teasing smile. “Will you conquer Fodlan on nothing but two hours’ sleep and Hubert’s coffee?” The two women giggled for a moment, before the Ashen Demon’s face turned serious. “Nightmares?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor shook her head. “I don’t believe that word is sufficient. More like warnings. Oracles that I’m not wise enough to determine the meaning of.”</p><p>A bat flew overhead, black wings silhouetted against the twinkling white stars of the evening sky. On a night like tonight, it seemed impossible to imagine the blood and carnage that Edelgard would soon create. The hell into which she would thrust the people she dared to call her friends.</p><p>“Do you think…my parents are happy I was born, Edelgard? With what I’ve cost them?”</p><p>The hesitancy in Byleth’s voice was like a vice on the Flame Emperor’s chest. Goddess, Byleth didn’t deserve this. She didn’t need the weight of being a god, or of helping to shape the continent’s future. She deserved the chance to be a person, with parents, and a family, and…</p><p>“My teacher…” Edelgard gently touched Byleth’s cheek, and forced the woman to meet her piercing gaze. “If you will forgive me for the unabashed sentiment, I can assure you they would be very proud. You are their legacy…and if I were ever blessed to have a child…” She shook her head to dispel the quiet longing in her heart. “I would hope they would grow to be a person as compassionate and selfless as you.”</p><p>The Enlightened One’s face lit up with a smile, though there was still an uncertainty lurking behind those strange emerald eyes. She looked back down at the grave.</p><p>“I’ve spent years, feeling like I stole my mother…from Papa. And now I find out that Rhea was hiding her. Every time I came here to ask her for advice, or to tell her about who I was…” Byleth rested a hand on the grave, her voice cracking. “She wasn’t even here. Rhea had taken her away.”</p><p>Edelgard thought of the lies of the Church-the betrayed faith of her uncle, the Hresvelgs, and of El, and felt a bile building in her throat. “So often, after the experiments…I have asked myself a question. Why must people like you and I suffer so many sleepless nights? Why must we continue to pay for the sins of others, trapped by a past that never truly leaves us?” Byleth listened and nodded, sensing the quiet anger in her student’s voice. “We suffer endless cruelty, and then are told we have an obligation to absolve our tormentors. Do they suffer the nightmares, or the guilt that you and I carry? How can we forgive a person who does not even believe that what they did was wrong?”</p><p>Byleth knelt, and absentmindedly adjusted the bouquet of flowers she had left on the grave. “I don’t think we can, little flower. I don’t think it’s about them.” She turned back and smiled at her student. “I think it’s about us, and finding our own peace.”</p><p>Edelgard looked at the night sky, thinking of both her bottomless anger at the woman who misled the continent for a millennia…and the understanding that seemed to quietly grow, day by day, with each moral compromise and lapse the Flame Emperor committed. She knelt next to her teacher, a gentle smile communicating more than words ever could.</p><p>“Little flower.” Byleth stared at her student, her face unreadable. “You were talking about a having a child, and your face seemed very sad. I just want you to know…” Byleth looked down at the grave of her parents and smiled. There was the faintest hint of pink on her pale cheeks. “You’d be a very good mother, I think.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor felt her own face turn a luminous shade of cherry, and looked down at the memorial. “I doubt that very much. Don’t you think a child deserves to have a parent they could admire? I have worked with monsters. Started a war that will cost countless lives. The Hresvelg line ends with me, and that is a blessing-“</p><p>“Papa used to tell me something,” said Byleth, interrupting her student’s spiral of self-hatred. “He said that being a parent is about putting your child first, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. Isn’t that what you’ve always done?” The Ashen Demon shook her head. “I know why you started this war, and why you keep fighting, day after day.”</p><p>“Why?” whispered the Emperor of Adrestia, in a quiet, desperate voice.</p><p>“Because you won’t let any more children be hurt like you were hurt. Because you won’t accept a false peace built on suffering. Because you believe in doing what’s right, even if the world stands against you. And that’s why I’m standing with you.” The Ashen Demon’s voice swelled to a crescendo. “I know if he were here…” she pointed to Jeralt’s resting place. “He’d fight for you, because he believed in those ideals, just as much as you do.”</p><p>“Are those ideals enough? Knowing what I am, and what I’ve done?”</p><p>Byleth glanced up at the infinite void of the sky, face impenetrable. The Ashen Demon was so still, Edelgard worried that the question had unleashed some deep-seated distress in the heart of her teacher. But then Byleth smiled, and the dawn broke.</p><p>“I’ve been looking through the scriptures of the Church of Seiros. To try to figure out what I am.” Byleth hummed the words, her calloused fingers drumming against her palm. “It said: <em>The Goddess’ wings guide and save the people. By those wings, your life is saved</em>.”</p><p>Despite herself, Edelgard felt her anger rise. “I remember it. It’s quite poetic language…but I fail to see how it applies to us.”</p><p>“Sothis said I was the Goddess, didn’t She? So that must mean my job is to save and guide people. To lift you up when you fall, and you don’t believe in yourself. That’s why I’m alive, and what I was meant to do. For all of the Black Eagles, and especially for you.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor’s mouth went dry, as Byleth Eisner stared at her with a wisdom and compassion that seemed without end. There was something ancient and extraordinary and unknowable in those eyes, something that took Edelgard’s breath away. That unearthly benevolence seemed to shine a light on all the dark fears and anxieties of the Emperor’s heart, and expose them for the falsehoods they were. She spoke without thinking.</p><p>“But…why would you be <em>my</em> wings?” </p><p>Byleth was still for a moment, before she again spoke, with an authority that made Edelgard tremble. “<em>As the voice of the Goddess, Seiros preaches love…it is that voice which will pardon your heart.</em>” Even the Ashen Demon seemed taken aback by the power in her voice, and it quickly melted into a familiar, gentle smile. “Edelgard…” she whispered, gesturing to her chest. “Rest your hand here.” </p><p>The Emperor of Adrestia’s mind turned to gruel. Edelgard von Hresvelg was skilled in the art of war, speechcraft, and governance; she was a leader, a profound symbol of the hopes of the people of the continent. She was untouchable and mighty and inspired awe in all that saw her. </p><p>And underneath her hallowed crown, she was a lonely, almost innocent woman-one utterly inexperienced in the ways of romance. Edelgard’s gloved hand trembled, her cheeks burning in the cool night air. When her student hesitated, Byleth tilted her head with an infuriating innocence. </p><p>“Is something wrong?”</p><p>“N-no! Nothing! I just…it seems a bit…forward.”</p><p>With a mercenary’s speed, Byleth grabbed her student’s hand, and guided it to the place where her heart should beat. The Flame Emperor waited for the sound, the regular, comforting rhythm against her fingers…but nothing happened. There was no sound or movement at all. An awful feeling of dread skulked up Edelgard’s spine.</p><p>“I’ve never had a heartbeat.” Byleth spoke the words in a mechanical, rigid voice, one that only hinted at the sorrow underneath. “I’ve been so afraid of telling you. I’m the Ashen Demon, the monster without a heart. Who could possibly love that?” Her fingers intertwined with Edelgard’s. “But sometimes, like when you smile at me, or that day in the Holy Tomb…I feel something in my chest. You make me believe that maybe my heart could be saved, just like that story says.” She lifted her eyes from the ground, and turned to Edelgard with a pleading expression. “I hope you won’t think I’m being selfish, or using you to-“</p><p>Byleth’s next words were cut off, as the woman she loved kissed her under the shimmering lights of the stars. For a brief moment, Edelgard could swear that she felt a tiny vibration against her gloved fingers…but perhaps it was just the fancies of her own weak, romantic heart.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the morning mist hung over the streams and tributaries of the Airmid River, the small convoy of the Black Eagle Strike Force was silent. The decision to take the Bridge in a surprise assault had meant that only the members of the Strike Force and a few essential personal would make the journey. Once Edelgard’s group had secured the area, Count Bergliez would reinforce the position with the main Imperial army. In a perverse way, it felt just like the old missions the Black Eagles would undertake at Garreg Mach-except now, the targets were former friends, and the stakes were unimaginable.</p><p>Edelgard paced back and forth in her tent, trying to contain the nervous energy she felt. Hubert and Byleth watched silently, neither the type to speak gratuitously. Ingrid and Petra had been sent ahead to scout the Alliance forces on the Bridge from the air. Despite her faith in her Eagles, the fears always seemed shrillest in these private moments; visions of Petra shot out of the sky, or a sword driven through Ingrid’s heart assaulting Edelgard’s mind, along with the knowledge if that nightmare were to come to pass, the responsibility would lay on the Flame Emperor’s head.</p><p>“Edelgard.” The flap to the tent opened, and the deep purple hue of Petra’s hair attested to the success of the mission. Ingrid’s sun-kissed blond joined a moment later. “We have been to see the Alliance forces. There are more than we expected. I believe Claude anticipated we were coming.”</p><p>“Damn. Probably a sympathizer in Gloucester’s camp.” Edelgard leaned against the table in her chambers. “If the Alliance has time to reinforce and retreat, they’ll engage in hit-and-run tactics all the way to Derdriu.”</p><p>“And…” said Hubert with a mirthless grin. “The Kingdom and Church will take advantage of our split attention. I believe we need to move today, Your Majesty, despite the disadvantageous nature of our position.”</p><p>“It’s mainly cavalry troops.” Ingrid ticked off the details with her usual dispassionate focus. “A few squadrons of archers, which isn’t a surprise with Leicester. It’s the usual tactical weaknesses the Alliance has-they’re going to struggle with a direct, frontline assault.” She paused, as Petra let out a loud hum.</p><p>“What is it, Petra?” said Byleth, as if she was encouraging the Brigid princess to come to the board and outline a problem. “We all trust your insight.”</p><p>Petra smiled, and tightened her grip on her sword. “The reason I worry is that Claude may have already sent the reinforcements, and we would not know. We may be…as you say, ‘walking into the nest of bees’.”</p><p>“Hornets,” said Ingrid automatically, before turning back to the group. “It isn’t just that. The thing that really bothers me is what in the world Claude’s trying to accomplish.”</p><p>“I see we have arrived at the same conclusion, Lady Galatea” said Hubert with a grin. “I knew there was something I liked about you.”</p><p>“Flattery will get you nowhere, Hubert.” Despite the words, she was clearly pleased at the dark mage’s praise. “It’s as if…Claude is hedging his bets. Edelgard, if the only road to Enbarr was in danger, what would you do, as a ruler?”</p><p>The Flame Emperor thought for a moment, and considering the weight of her people and her crown. “I’d defend it to the last, my knight. Full defenses, using every resource and tactic at my disposal. That’s what any ruler should do. Anything less would be a complete betrayal of my position, and my subjects’ trust.”</p><p>“And that’s what we’d do in Faerghus as well, if I still am allowed to say such things.” For an instant, a look of sadness flitted over Ingrid’s face. “The way Claude’s set up this defense, it’s like he’s trying to draw us in, toward Derdriu, with minimal cost to both his army and ours. To gamble the survival of your nation in such a way…I just don’t understand it at all.”</p><p>Byleth stood, and looked down at the repurposed game of strategy Edelgard had set up in her tent. “That’s because Claude isn’t a knight, or an emperor. He’s a tactician, and they don’t have loyalty to countries. They only care about winning.” She looked out the tent flap, to where the gigantic bridge loomed in the distance. “The problem is, the people fighting for the Alliance on that bridge don’t think like that either.” She turned to Petra. “Anyone we know?”</p><p>Petra nodded. “Ignatz. I did not see anyone else. But…”</p><p>Ingrid finished the thought. “Judith is there. The Hero of Daphnel. She’s commanding the troops.”</p><p>Edelgard stared down at the map of the continent that lay before her, and thought of the soldiers on both sides of the conflict. She drummed her fingers on the table, trying to avoid the obvious answer to the problems that lay before her. Finally, she could ignore it no longer.</p><p>“We kill Judith. She’s the leader, and if we eliminate her, the Alliance forces will surrender without incident. We’ll have a clear path to Derdriu. It’s the best option we have.”</p><p>“Is it?” Ingrid’s gaze seemed to pierce through the Flame Emperor’s dispassionate logic. “That woman is a hero, Edelgard. House Galatea may have split from Daphnel, but I can assure you Judith is as loyal and upright a person as you will find. She’s everything I aspire to be. I want you to look me in the eye, and tell me that killing someone like that is worth the future you wish to build.” </p><p>There was no anger or distress in Ingrid’s voice. Just an idealism that pushed back against every pragmatic impulse in the Emperor’s body. Edelgard met her friend’s determined expression with one of her own. “I would offer surrender, Ingrid, but if she is anything like you…I don’t believe that will be an option. She is fighting for what she believes in, just as much as we are. The best way to respect that choice is to meet her honorably, while avoiding as much senseless bloodshed as possible. You believe in that, just as much as I do.”</p><p>Ingrid nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer. “Fine. As long as you’re still yourself at the end of this, Edelgard. That’s all I want.” She looked at Hubert and grinned. “Now, come on, Count Vestra. We’ve got a few stragglers in the Strike Force still sleeping, and I know Sylvain would deeply appreciate waking up to your smiling face.”</p><p>Hubert rubbed his hands together, an evil grin on his dark features. “I would enjoy nothing more, Lady Galatea. Lead the way.” As Ingrid and Hubert left, the pegasus knight gave Petra a significant look, and the Brigid princess loitered at the entrance to Edelgard’s chambers.</p><p>“Edelgard, Professor…I must thank you.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor shook her head. “I have no idea what you mean, my friend. You have just completed a dangerous, essential mission. If anything, I should be the one expressing gratitude.”</p><p>Petra turned to her teacher. “She is being impossible again. Professor, was it your idea or hers?”</p><p>Byleth held the Sword of the Creator in front of her, eyes distant. “We both discussed it, and decided that keeping Count Bergliez away from you would be best. The rest of the Black Eagles agreed, and Caspar was particularly insistent. With your history…”</p><p>Petra’s sword-arm began to shake, and her fingers tightened their grip on their weapon. She kept her face calm and even, with a practiced artificiality that Edelgard recognized all too well. “I have held a great deal of anger in my heart for a long time, but the past must now be in the past. If Brigid is to stand alongside the Empire, I must put aside my personal feelings. Count Bergliez may have killed my father, but now, he is my ally. It is uncomfortable, but it is also the truth.”</p><p>Byleth was filled with concern, and rested her hand on the princess’ shoulder. “That may be how the Princess of Brigid feels…but what does Petra think?”</p><p>The great warrior lowered her head, perhaps the greatest sign of visible distress that Edelgard had ever seen her show. So often, the grief and sorrow that Petra had undergone were forgotten. She did not hang her head, like Bernadetta or Marianne, or lash out in anger like Sylvain or Lysithea. She silently suffered, a tempest of fury and sorrow blanketed under an unnatural tranquility. She buried her true feelings so deep, most believed they did not exist. It was a unique pain-a burden of royalty-that Edelgard understood all too well.</p><p>“My grandfather has asked me, many times, why I trust you, Edelgard. Why I have faith that you will help me with my dreams. You are the Emperor of the country that killed my father, and rules over Brigid. Why should I not hate you?” Petra’s eyes blazed with passion. “Why do I not join Dimitri or Claude, and destroy the Empire? Is vengeance not what my people want? A world with the Empire in ruins?”</p><p>Edelgard met her friend’s intense gaze with an unblinking stare of her own. The room was filled with an oppressive silence, carrying all the history of the conflict between Brigid and Adrestia, and the weight of the two women’s crowns. </p><p>“The reason I am the will of the Emperor,” continued Petra. “Is because when I see you working alongside the men who hurt you, like Count Bergliez hurt me…I know we are both trying to be good rulers. You are doing not what you want, but what your people need. And…” The princess’ face lit up with a smile, and all her silent anger melted away. “I think of my friend. The girl who protected me, and showed me so much kindness when I came to this country all alone. I know that girl is still in there, hiding, just like I am. And I will not leave that friend to fight alone.”</p><p>Edelgard thought, not for the first time, of how such bonds could have been frayed and torn. If Byleth had not shown faith in the Flame Emperor…believed in the power of who she could be, then Edelgard would have fought these battles alone. Watching her spirit warp and coil, until flames had burned away everything that was not the hate. As she took the Black Eagles along this bloody path, she wondered if she truly deserved such mercy.</p><p>Byleth gently placed her hands on Petra and Edelgard’s shoulders. Every motion, every expression the Ashen Demon made communicated immense concern, not for the Princess of Brigid, or the Emperor of Adrestia, but Petra and Edelgard, and the two women loved Byleth Eisner for it dearly. The mercenary smiled. “What do you say, my friends? Shall we win this battle?”</p><p>“My teacher…” said Edelgard, resolve burning in her eyes. “They can’t stop us.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><br/>
The Black Eagle Strike Force reached the gates of Myriddan, the great doors barricaded from the outside. Count Bergliez looked up at the grand gates, the path that led to Derdriu, and let out a long, low whistle. </p><p>“You haven’t told me how you plan to break down the doors, Your Majesty. Are we using ballista support or-”</p><p>“We don’t need force.” Edelgard did not turn and look at the man, but instead directed her next words to the orange-haired woman lingering nearby. “Monica.”</p><p>“Got it, Edel. I’ll be back in a second.” She turned to the blue-haired knight next to her, and gave a charismatic wink. Caspar looked downward, trying to ignore Linhardt’s smile, and his father’s widened eyes.</p><p>“I send you to Garreg Mach to find a suitable wife…” hissed Count Bergliez dismissively. “And this is who you court? A one-eyed lunatic?”</p><p>“Don’t talk about her like that!” shouted Caspar, filled with a righteous fury. All the hesitancy and deference that the brawler normally displayed around his father fell away. “Nobody wanted her. She’s had to make her own way. Isn’t that exactly what you expected me to do?” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “We’re a team.”</p><p>Monica’s pale face became flushed. “Aw…thanks, Caspy! I love you too.” As she planted a kiss on the mortified boy’s cheek, she smiled. “Now, why don’t you use that hard head of yours to give me a boost?” Caspar nodded, and used his immense strength to lift the Agarthian toward one of the structure’s buttresses.</p><p>Monica hurdled up the side of the ancient bridge with an acrobat’s grace. The girl only briefly paused at the top of the wall to pull out her dagger-the one remnant of her life as an Agarthian assassin. She disappeared, and for a few seconds there was only silence, then a muffled shout that was quickly cut off. The door swung open, revealing the bodies of two Alliance soldiers, and a determined expression on Monica’s face.</p><p>“Good work, Monica,” said the Flame Emperor, her voice adopting the ruthless, dispassionate tone it always did on the battlefield. “Byleth’s group will be working down from the north after they capture the ballista. We watch each other’s backs.” She raised Aymr to the sky. “Black Eagle Strike Force! Survive and prevail.”</p><p>The clamor of the wooden doors opening had attracted the attention of the Alliance forces. Within seconds, the Imperial forces were attacked by a hail of arrows from the defending armies of Leicester. Edelgard, Count Bergliez, and Caspar stood as the vanguard, their armor and shields deflecting the shower of projectiles. Sensing an opportunity, the Alliance’s cavalry charged toward the invaders.</p><p>“We have to finish this before reinforcements arrive!” commanded the Flame Emperor. “Bernadetta! Marianne! Flank them from the sides, and draw them toward the center!”</p><p>Edelgard could hear the holy knight and the archer split to the right and the left of the Imperial forces, their steeds quickly moving behind the overeager Alliance army. The power of Marianne’s spells and Bernadetta’s bow quickly funneled the Leicester frontline toward the Imperial forces.</p><p>A few cavalry and infantry fighters, desperate for glory and the Flame Emperor’s blood, had already reached the Empire’s front line. Edelgard used her immense shield and ax as protection against the overwhelming assault. “You’re going to die, conqueror!” snarled one of the Alliance spearmen, his weapon ramming again and again into the Emperor’s shield. “We won’t let someone like you win!”</p><p>Caspar’s ax connected with the snarling soldier, the force of the blow sending the man flying. He was immediately assaulted by three more enemies, briefly glancing at Edelgard from under his shield. “Edelgard. Do it now!”</p><p>Edelgard shook her head, as she withstood the blows of three enemies. “Wait!” An arrow struck a glancing blow to her arm, bouncing off her crimson armor. She swung Aymr, buying herself a moment’s respite. “Not yet!”</p><p>Count Berliez swung out his arm, catching a careless Leicester rider and sending him tumbling from his horse. He finished the enemy with a ruthless swing of his sword. “What are you waiting for? We’re already being overwhelmed!”</p><p>From the corner of her eye, Edelgard could see the glint of Bernadetta’s purple hair, and the cool blue of Marianne’s. They finished driving the Leicester forces to the middle of the bridge, before retreating to the back line of the Empire. The Emperor turned back to her cadre of mages, a force that no army had a true answer for.</p><p>“Dorothea, now!”</p><p>“Sure thing, Edie.” The mage floated in the air, brimming with magical power. “Sorry boys, but it’s kill or be killed.” With a wave of her fingers, a massive ball of fire fell from the sky. The Emperor could feel the immense heat of the attack sting her skin, as the Great Bridge was lit up with a blinding flare of light. Man, weapon, and beast were sent flying by the power of Dorothea’s spell, leaving scorch marks on the time-worn stone of the bridge. Edelgard tried to ignore the screams of pain, and turned back to her friend.</p><p>“Fine work, Dorothea. Thank you.”</p><p>The diva returned the gesture with a faltering smile, her compassionate and sensitive soul struggling with the devastation she had unleashed. With a wave of her arm, Edelgard led her section of the Imperial forces forward, repelling a few isolated attacks as they pushed toward Judith’s position.</p><p>Sylvain galloped to the front, twirling his spear with a casualness that was incongruous with the battle that now surrounded him. “Edelgard.” All the seeming indifference in his posture was counteracted by the cold, rational tone of his voice. His eyes darted around the battlefield, searching for where the next attack would originate from. “Do you trust me?”</p><p>“Despite your many attempts to make me believe otherwise,” muttered Edelgard. “I will always have faith in you, my friend.” For a moment, she turned to the Faerghus cavalier and smiled. “When I attacked the Holy Tomb, you laid down your arms, rather than fight me. I will never forget it.” All the sentimentality vanished. “What is your concern?”</p><p>Sylvain ran a hand through his fiery-red hair. “See the crates and containers along the path to Judith? They’re arranged in a single-file, against the wall, just enough so that a phalanx of archers could-“</p><p>“Strike Force!” Edelgard’s voice echoed over the bridge. “Halt! That’s an order!”</p><p>Count Bergliez turned back, clearly dismayed. The man was a veteran of countless battles, and every instinct he had honed from a lifetime of battle told him to press the current Imperial advantage. His weathered face contorted with frustration, as he continued to march forward. </p><p>“Why? We have a clear path to the enemy commander-“</p><p>“Fire!” </p><p>A familiar voice echoed over the bridge, as tens of canary-yellow Alliance soldiers launched a deluge of arrows at the unprotected Imperial army. Sylvain’s horse was cut from under him, sending the cavalier tumbling to the ground. Edelgard ran in front, protecting her ally from the onslaught. He looked up and gave a roguish wink.</p><p>“See? This keen tactical insight is why you keep me around, right, beautiful?”</p><p>Edelgard tried to hide the small smile that was formed on her face, but was unsuccessful. “You’re still around to keep Ingrid happy. Perhaps I should just get her a cat instead, and save myself the headache.” She stole a glance at her friend. “Are you hurt?”</p><p>“Nah, I’ll be a little sore tomorrow, but I’ve dealt with worse.” Sylvain rubbed his backside. “I see Ignatz decided to show up for our little class reunion...so, is the Prof gonna capture that ballista, or did she take another five-year snooze?”</p><p>Edelgard whipped a handax into the exposed head of an unfortunate Alliance archer. “She’ll complete her mission. Have faith, my friend.”</p><p>“Tell me I didn’t just hear <em>you</em>, of all people, say that.” Sylvain rose to his feet, and grabbed a shield from a fallen Leicester soldier. “What’s next, you planning on leading us in some rousing hymns back at the Cathedral?” As Sylvain finished speaking, the defensive positions of the Alliance soldiers were devastated by tell-tale explosions of artillery fire, scattering the Leicester archers. Edelgard allowed herself a smile.</p><p>“Byleth’s group have taken the ballista! Press on toward Judith!”</p><p>Judith had taken shelter in one of the Great Bridge’s ancient structures, preventing ballista fire, or anything other than frontal attacks. It was a strong defensive position, but Aymr cut through all the weapons, armor and bone that stood in its path. As she sent an ill-fated woman flying over the ramparts, Edelgard felt an arrow land in her arm.</p><p>“I can’t let Fodlan’s future be placed in the hands of a war-mongering Empire!” Ignatz raised his bow again. “Stand down, Edelgard!” He turned back to Judith, who had drawn her blade. “I’ll buy you time! Take the soldiers and flee!”</p><p>“No.” Judith shook her head, and joined the young archer. “The boy told me to leave if my life was in danger, but I refuse to abandon my territory and my people to the Empire.” She clasped the boy’s shoulder. “We’ll hold out until the reinforcements come.” </p><p>“It doesn’t matter how many soldiers you have, Judith.” Edelgard conjured a flame spell, and cast it at the enemy general. “Our forces are superior. Throw down your weapon!”</p><p>Count Bergliez charged forward, using Edelgard’s assault to close the gap between himself and the Alliance leader. As his sword met Judith’s, the two veteran fighters parried and prodded each other with a skill and grace forged from years on the front lines.</p><p>As Ignatz rolled out of the way of a wall of purple energy from Lysithea, he shook his head. “Marianne. Lysithea. How can you betray Claude like this? Edelgard set fire to Garreg Mach! She’s attacking your home!”</p><p>“You’re a commoner, Ignatz. You’ve seen what monsters like Acheron have done! Who gets caught in the crossfire when the nobles fight over trade and territory?!” Lysithea violently flung another spell, as she spat out the words. “People like us! It has to stop!”</p><p>As Lysithea readied another spell, a flurry of arrows headed toward her position. Edelgard leapt in front of the mage, shielding the girl from the projectiles. A few of the arrows delivered glancing blows to the Flame Emperor, but those pains were nothing compared to what Edelgard had once experienced. </p><p>An orange haired woman rode at the front of a battalion of Alliance cavalry. Her face was hardened from numerous conflicts, and the unmistakable confidence and spirit with which she carried herself had only grown since Edelgard had seen her last.</p><p>“Ignatz. Lady Judith. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. We’re the reinforcements Claude sent.”  Leonie smiled and raised her bow. “And believe me…I’ve been waiting five years for a shot at the Empire. You killed the Captain.”</p><p>“Leonie…” Marianne raised her sword. “That wasn’t what happened. We have Professor Byleth with us…”</p><p>“Quiet, traitor!” Leonie spat on the ground. “I don’t care who I have to fight! I’m not going to hold back, and I’m not going to fall to a bunch of murderers like you!” She looked behind herself. “Come on, Acheron!”</p><p>A reedy blond-haired man with a truly magnificent mustache lingered behind Captain Jeralt’s protégé. “Why do I have to put up with the orders of that fraud…”</p><p>Leonie turned back, her spear colliding with Marianne’s sword. “Because with Edmund and Ordelia turning traitor, we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for Alliance nobles!” She parried a blow, and in a single fluid motion, nocked an arrow, and sent it flying toward Lysithea. “So do your damn job, and be quiet!”</p><p>It was clear that Leonie had spent five years honing her combat skills to immense heights. Edelgard rushed toward the archer, desperate to stop her from crippling any of her forces.</p><p>“Good,” said Leonie, her face contorted with hate. “You’re the one I wanted all along. I’m going to kill you, you bastard!” Her horse scampered around the Flame Emperor, and Leonie used the length of her spear to prevent Edelgard from counterattacking. “You poisoned Byleth’s mind! You did something to her!” screamed the mercenary. “Captain Jeralt was everything to me, and you took him away!” </p><p>“Leonie, I hate Jeralt’s killers as much as you…your quarrel is not with me.” The Flame Emperor tried to ignore her guilt. “We do not have to be enemies.”</p><p>“I’d never side with a monster like you!” screamed Leonie. “I’d betray everything he stood for!”</p><p>She took advantage of the chaos, and buried an arrow in Count Bergliez’s leg. The blow sent the hardened general tumbling to his knee. Judith was locked in battle with Sylvain and Linhardt, but Ignatz was able to maneuver around Caspar’s heavy swings. He ducked under the swipe of the younger Bergliez’s ax, and launched an arrow at Caspar’s father.</p><p>The Emperor heard the scream of pain, and felt her heart sink. She turned and found Caspar cradling Monica, Ignatz’s arrow buried in her neck. She reached up, and caressed his face, before her body went limp. </p><p>Edelgard felt her mind go numb, blocking out the howl of rage from Lysithea, and Linhardt’s fruitless attempt to heal the girl. She barely even noticed Hubert’s explosion of dark magic, as Byleth finally appeared, flanked by Shamir and Petra.</p><p>The Ashen Demon realized that something was wrong immediately, and ran to the body of the girl. She met Edelgard’s eyes for a brief instant, and a look of remorse appeared on her face. Edelgard steeled herself. Five years ago, each instance that Byleth had reset time, Edelgard had been given a vision of her doomed future; a world where she and Hubert had been cast out by the rest of the Eagles. She could only imagine what horrors now awaited her. But if it would save a friend’s life…Edelgard would suffer any torment.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Edelgard looked around, waiting to be transported to some other place, but she remained on the Bridge. The smoke and chaos of battle still surrounded her. Had something gone wrong? Suddenly, a figure broke through the fog. Leonie charged toward Edelgard, and the Flame Emperor raised her ax to cut down her enemy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Edelgard!” Leonie galloped out of Aymr’s range. “It’s me! What the hell are you doing?!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As Edelgard’s vision readjusted, she saw the insignia of the Black Eagles affixed to Leonie’s chest, and a thousand emotions battered the Emperor of Adrestia at the same time. Aymr fell to the ground with a clatter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“C’mon!” said Leonie with a concerned smile. “This is a war, Your Majesty! I thought Professor Byleth taught you better than that!” She looked around. “Caspar got nicked a bit, but we’re otherwise fine. Have you seen Mercie?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard lied through her teeth. “I…haven’t seen her. She may be with Professor Byleth.” She had been prepared for any manner of nightmare, but this took her aback. Enemies were friends…and that meant... Edelgard looked up at Leonie. “Where are Marianne? Or Lysithea?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Leonie shrugged. “Lysithea’s with Claude I expect, and no one’s seen Marianne in years. What’s going on, Edelgard? Why are you acting so strange?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A few Alliance cavalry charged out the smoke created by the ballista fire, only for a familiar and deadly hum to assault Edelgard’s ears. The Sword of the Creator retracted back to a recognizable shape. Byleth appeared out of the mist, flanked by Felix and Annette.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Nice work,” said the Faerghus swordsman approvingly. Somehow, the five years had only enhanced the sharp edges of Felix’s face. There was an almost manic intensity behind those war-weary eyes, but he looked at Byleth and Edelgard with total respect. “Show me that move when we spar next.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Leonie shook her head. “Me first, Felix! I’m Captain Jeralt’s apprentice, and that means I always get first spar with the Professor, right?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Byleth wrapped her arm around Leonie with familial affection. “I think she’s right, Felix. Papa would chase me out of the grave if I didn’t watch out for Leonie. Now let’s move and take this bridge.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard watched this scene play out with an immense horror. Byleth was clearly close to both Felix and Leonie. These people could have been her allies…her friends…and in this world, Lysithea, Marianne, Sylvain and Ingrid were-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“El!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It took a second for Edelgard to recognize the sound, and another to realize why it was so wrong. She whirled around to see Annette’s smiling face. The girl had matured, her excitability tempered by five years of growth. The immense care communicated by her smile spoke of years of intimate friendship, inspiring a wave of nausea in the Flame Emperor. Her response was automatic.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Annette.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She chuckled, and squeezed Edelgard’s shoulder. “You haven’t called me anything but Annie in five years. You really must have hit your head or something.” She gently placed her hand on the Emperor’s forehead. “Do you want Mercie to take a look at you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No.” Edelgard felt herself backing away from the contact. “I believe the battle is simply weighing on me. Thank you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Okay, El!” said Annette with a chipper expression. “If you need anything, you let me know, all right? I’m the only one besides the Professor who can get you to smile, anyway!” The mage’s face turned serious. “It’s like we promised…we watch out for each other, until the end!” It was the same promise Edelgard had made with Ingrid. Annette laughed, and something inside the Flame Emperor broke.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Of…of course Annie…” muttered Edelgard, as the vision began to dissolve. “Until the end.”</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Edelgard was returned to her world, only to be greeted by Leonie’s arrow whizzing past her neck. The Flame Emperor turned, and saw Count Bergliez stagger to his knee. Byleth had reset time. Desperate to make the most of this chance, Edelgard dove in front of Monica, shielding her just as the Agarthian had shielded Count Bergliez. The arrow bounced harmlessly off her shield.</p><p>Ignatz was ready for another strike, and raised his bow to strike Count Bergliez and Monica. “I’m sorry. But this is for the future of Fodlan, and I’m not about to let you get away.” He nocked the arrow, a look of grim resolve on his face. “No merc-“</p><p>The words stopped, as the archer looked down, a sword driven through the center of his chest. Petra had used the confusion to sneak behind the Alliance fighters. Her expression was unreadable, as Ignatz struggled for a few moments, before crumpling to the ground in a lifeless heap. </p><p>Petra stared at the body of her classmate, before her stoic face turned to Count Bergliez. The man watched her for a moment. “You saved me. Why? I killed-” </p><p>“Not for you or myself…I did it for everyone.” Petra sheathed her sword, still staring at the ground. “And because…Caspar is my friend, and you are his father. And I do not wish to have my friend feel all the things you have made me feel.” She reached out a hand, and helped Monica to her feet. </p><p>“You murderers!” Leonie screamed with immense rage, before turning to Judith. “Take the rest of the reinforcements! I’ll hold them off!”</p><p>Leonie dragged her spear on the cobblestones, eager for revenge. Edelgard moved forward to challenge her, only for Byleth to leap in front. “Take care of Judith,” said Byleth, her placid countenance hiding all the turmoil that Edelgard knew lay underneath. “I’ll handle Leonie.”</p><p>“Retreat!” called Judith, clearly dissatisfied with abandoning the battle. “All those who can, follow me!” </p><p>Edelgard raced after the enemy general, but her Imperial armor and shield were enough of an encumbrance that she stood no chance of catching the Hero of Daphnel. If Judith escaped, there would be no clear path to safely enter the Alliance, and the Empire would be fighting a bloody war on two fronts. It had to end here.</p><p>A thunder spell flew above the Flame Emperor’s shoulder, as an irksome voice echoed over the battlefield. “My territory lies just beyond this bridge…” preened Acheron. “I can’t allow you to simply waltz across-“ He paused, as the ground beneath him began to rumble. “Oh…oh no.”</p><p>Dark purple spikes erupted in massive explosion beneath his feet, sending the man and his steed flying off the bridge. Lysithea lowered her hand. “That was for the merchants you murdered, you pig.” The mage looked at Edelgard. “Finish this! Go!”</p><p>Judith had just about crossed the bridge’s span, when Ingrid swooped down to block Judith’s path. The pegasus knight’s face was resolute, and she gave Edelgard a firm nod. Judith paused, and began to laugh, the mirthless sound echoing over the empty space of the Great Bridge. She turned back to Edelgard and raised her sword.</p><p>“That’s fine. I didn’t want people saying that I’d gone soft. Especially the boy…” She leaped toward Edelgard, weapon gleaming in the sun. “Now…let me show you how it’s done, Emperor!” </p><p>Edelgard had heard tales of the hero of Daphnel, and her skill with the rapier. Still, to witness it was an entirely different matter. Judith poked and prodded, punishing each heavy swing of Aymr. She ran forward and drove her knee into Edelgard’s chest, sending her flying back. Edelgard used her relic weapon to stop her momentum, sending a shower of sparks into the air.</p><p>“You may be leader of the Empire, but that was sloppy, kid.” Judith twirled her weapon. “No replacement for experience, even that fancy ax you have.” </p><p>Edelgard launched a flame spell at the Alliance commander, forcing her to dodge and out of the way. Sword and ax met, colliding with one another over and over again. There seemed no way to break the stalemate. Judith could not penetrate the Flame Emperor’s defenses, and the Hero of Daphnel was too nimble to be touched by Aymr. </p><p>Edelgard’s mind desperately cast back to the lessons that Byleth had taught her. As she visualized the face of the woman she loved, the words rang in her head: turn your enemy’s strength into a weakness. The Flame Emperor realized she had her answer. Judith was a righteous woman, one who would rely on her immense skill to give her an honorable victory. But Edelgard had two advantages: She was willing to sacrifice anything for her goals, including herself…and she knew how to cheat.</p><p>The Flame Emperor threw her shield to the side, the weapon falling to the ground with a resounding metallic clang. “What say you, Judith?” shouted Edelgard. “Let’s finish this, here and now!”</p><p>“Oh, now this, I like.” Judith raised her rapier. “You should be careful what you ask for though.”</p><p>The Flame Emperor prepared her stance, readying Aymr for a truly powerful blow. Without her shield, much of her body was exposed. Judith charged forward, dodging the spells that Edelgard aimed at her, and with a flying leap, ran her rapier into the Emperor’s arm. Edelgard let out a grunt of pain, dropped Aymr, and grabbed Judith’s collar. </p><p>The Hero of Daphnel had only a second to react, before the Flame Emperor used all the power of her two Crests to swing the woman overhead. Judith was driven into the ground with a sickening crunch, as every part of her body shattered. The impact created a massive depression in the stone of the Great Bridge. Edelgard picked up Aymr, Judith’s rapier still buried in the Flame Emperor’s body.</p><p>“Not bad…you’ll do anything to win, won’t you?” whispered Judith, her voice slurred. “I should have…I should have listened to the boy.” She looked up at her opponent. “Please…go easy on my troops.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “They will be spared. I swear to you.”</p><p>The woman smiled, before her eyes went vacant. Edelgard turned away, and with her one functional arm, raised Aymr in victory. </p><p>“Soldiers of the Alliance! Lady Judith is dead, and further fighting is meaningless! Lay down your arms, and your lives will be spared!”</p><p>As the adrenaline of battle subsided, the pain in Edelgard’s arm could no longer be avoided. She winced, only to feel the comforting glow of a healing spell, and see Marianne’s gentle face. As she helped Edelgard remove the sword from her arm, they were disturbed by a flash of orange hair.</p><p>“JUDITH!” Leonie crumpled at the woman’s body. “NO!” Byleth followed behind, but when she attempted to place a hand on her shoulder, Leonie swatted it away. The young mercenary’s body shook. “Judith and Ignatz didn’t deserve this! They didn’t deserve being slaughtered by your Empire!” she snarled at Byleth. “Their blood is on your hands, just like Captain Jeralt’s. He was the only man who ever told me I could be something, and you…you…”</p><p>“Leonie.” Byleth knelt at her feet and extended a hand. “I didn’t…”</p><p>“HE TOLD ME TO PROTECT YOU! TO WATCH OUT FOR YOU! AND I DID!” The girl’s eyes filled with tears. “And this is what you did in return! You even protected that…that thing!” She gestured to Monica, a venomous hatred in her eyes. “When I heard what happened to you, how in the Sealed Forest you came back…I was so worried. You were all I had left of Captain Jeralt…but we’d…we’d have been better off if you’d just stayed dead!”</p><p>Edelgard could hear no more, and pulled a distraught Byleth away from the Leicester soldier. Both women collapsed against one of the sturdy walls of the Great Bridge. Caspar and Monica quickly joined, the Agarthian providing the grateful group with some water. The second son of Count Bergliez shook his head.</p><p>“Don’t let Leonie get to you, Professor. She’s…she’s just upset.”</p><p>Monica nodded, struggling to find the words. “Caspy’s right, Professor. But…that girl…she really wanted to be your family. And I took your name…” she looked down at her hands, still flecked with blood. “I'm so sorry-“</p><p>“No. It’s like Edelgard told me,” said Byleth, anguish coating every word. “We each have to cut our own path…and when we do…” She looked at Leonie, still grieving over Judith’s body. “Sometimes they'll diverge from people we care for.” She shook her head. “I let Leonie down. I should have reached out to her, but after Papa died…” She held a hand to her chest. “She yelled at me. She told me I didn’t appreciate him, and I…I was hurt.”</p><p>The remnants of the Divine Pulse lingered in Edelgard’s mind. Haunted by the vision of a bond between Leonie and Byleth that could never be, the Flame Emperor winced. “All we can do is continue down the path we have chosen. I am grateful that you are standing by our side, Monica.”</p><p>The girl smiled. “I’m glad someone does. I think Caspy’s dad doesn’t want a freak like me in his family either.” </p><p>Caspar stood. “Are you kidding?! He saw you dive in front of him. He already told me you have more guts than anyone he’s ever seen.” He wrapped his arm around Monica. “But listen…you have to stop trying to sacrifice yourself.”</p><p>“Why?” Monica raised her voice. “If anyone’s going to sacrifice themselves, it’s going to be me. Why shouldn’t I-“</p><p>“Because I’d miss you.” Caspar rubbed the back of his head. “Because I’ve spent my entire life having to prove myself, even to my dad, and show everyone that I could be something. And you look at me…” His voice went quiet. “You look at me like I don’t have to prove anything at all.”</p><p>As Monica and Caspar embraced, Edelgard and Byleth moved away to allow them some privacy. They sat in silence, holding hands, until Ingrid found them.</p><p>“All the Alliance soldiers have surrendered. We have a clear path to Derdriu, and casualties were minimal. The Imperial army will reinforce the position. It was good work.” Her businesslike tone melted away, as she began to fuss over her friend’s injury. “How’s your arm? That was a rather nasty blow…do you want to get Mari to take another look at-“</p><p>Edelgard thought of the world she had seen, where she and Ingrid were strangers and enemies. She already knew how fragile the threads of fate had been, and how easily her destiny could have been altered. She thought of Leonie, and her friend from Faerghus, and even her mother, and all the relationships that could never be. The guilt threatened to drown her. She needed to know.</p><p>“Ingrid.” Edelgard looked up at her closest friend. “When you joined us…for the mission to Gaspard territory. Did you almost…not go?”</p><p>Ingrid’s face lit up with surprise. “Yes. How in the world do you know that? I never told anyone that Felix and I…how close I came.” The proud, fearless knight’s shoulders began to shake. “Felix wanted to go, just as much as I did. He wanted to see how Professor Byleth fought, but you only could bring one member of our house so we…we made a decision.” Ingrid’s face was consumed with distress. “If I hadn’t, who knows what…”</p><p>Edelgard reached out, and gently held her knight’s hand. </p><p>"How did you decide?"</p><p>“We…” Ingrid paused, and swallowed. “We flipped a coin.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Edelgard's subconscious yelling at her in the form of Dimitri is one of the meanest things I've done in this story, and that's kinda saying a lot.</p><p>Those scriptures that Byleth quoted? Those are actual in-game text, from the JP version of the Scriptures of Seiros in the library. You'll note they explain why Byleth's heart begins to beat at the end of CF, and why she's called Wings of the Hegemon. Edeleth is literally the fulfillment of the promises of the Church of Seiros. For some *mysterious* reason, many of these lines were altered in translation. (Did you know that the last chapter of CF in JP is called "The Result of our Feelings/Love"?) I'll let you draw your own conclusions from that.</p><p>Yes, we will continue to see more of the 'other Eagles' as CF continues, as well as why Edelgard and Annette became so close. There's a larger thematic point I want to make, and it's going to be a big focus for the rest of the story (and yes, we will see Edelgard vs. Sylvain, Lysithea, and Ingrid...and they are going to hurt.) If you're looking for hints as to why Edelgard and Annette bonded, think about Annette's biggest trauma, Edelgard’s dream, and how parent’s expectations are the main theme of this chapter</p><p>As always, thanks so much for reading, and I'll see you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Trust Exercise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So we’re all in agreement? It’s a trap?”</p><p>It had been a week since the Black Eagle Strike Force had left the Great Bridge, and pushed toward the Alliance capital. The mood was understandably somber; this had been the first battle where the Strike Force had fought and killed former classmates. It had only increased the responsibility the Emperor felt-her friends had reached out their hands, believing not simply in the cause, but in the goodness of Edelgard von Hresvelg. Somehow, that had persisted even as they walked this dark path. Still, there was an unavoidable truth the Black Eagles could not help but confront: the only way forward was one marked with blood.</p><p>That made this war council especially fraught with tension. There were bags under the eyes of advisors like Ferdinand and Hubert; tension in the posture of hardened soldiers like Ingrid and Caspar; and sorrow among gentler souls such as Dorothea and Bernadetta. </p><p>But the strain was especially evident on the two Alliance heirs. Marianne and Lysithea had maintained friendships with both Hilda and Claude, even as they had sided with the Empire, and the forthcoming battle promised to fray those deeply rooted bonds.</p><p>“If Claude truly has blockaded the city streets…it can’t be anything else.” The heir to House Edmund leaned forward. “I…I didn’t leave my territory often…but I remember visiting Deirdru when my adoptive father would go to roundtable meetings. The streets are too narrow to offer any defense. All he’d have is….”</p><p>“The naval port,” finished Hubert. “An astute observation, Lady Edmund. And given that the new Duke Riegan has failed to offer even a modicum of resistance on our approach to Deirdru…”</p><p>“It’s illogical. Reckless. Stupid, even.” Lysithea let out an annoyed huff. “But…it has Claude’s fingers all over it. And Claude doesn’t do anything without a reason.”</p><p>Edelgard began to rub her temples, trying to ignore the headache she had endured for the past two days. These deliberations, these attempts to grasp a mind so different than her own, were exhausting. Since she had been reborn in Enbarr’s dungeons, Edelgard could only see one path. There was what must to be done, and she followed the dictates of her ethics to their harsh, brutal conclusion. That was why she so valued being challenged by talented individuals such as Dorothea and Ferdinand. For Edelgard’s unyielding, uncompromising mind, the process of comprehending other perspectives was never easy. Still, try as she might…she couldn’t understand Claude. Truly, she never had. </p><p>During his academy days, Claude had been given a derisive moniker by a few of the students at Garreg Mach: “The Demon of the Tabletop.” It expressed one of the most common judgments of the Alliance’s future head. Edelgard walked a leader’s path, firm and unbending. Dimitri was a king, renowned for his strength. But Claude…to many around Garreg Mach, all the future Duke Riegan had was abstract trickery, schemes whose only purpose was to stroke the archer’s ego.</p><p>Edelgard disagreed. As students, they had played the occasional game of strategy-Edelgard’s blunt tactics colliding with Claude’s slippery maneuvers. The Riegan heir was a perplexing and challenging opponent, a man whose obvious talent was only matched by his inability to be pinned down. Questions lingered in the back of Edelgard’s mind. Dimitri, Rhea…they were enemies, but their objections to the Flame Emperor were ideological. Claude seemed to understand how broken the continent truly was, and yet…they stood at odds. Why?</p><p>The Emperor startled, as Byleth gently placed her hand on her student’s shoulder. The Ashen Demon stared at her student with that strange, blank expression, calming the turbulent seas of Edelgard’s mind. It allowed the Flame Emperor to recenter herself. The words came to her.</p><p>“Strike Force,” Edelgard looked around at her friends and allies. “We were all Claude’s classmates. What impression did you have of him?”</p><p>“He’s a clown,” muttered Ingrid with deep annoyance. “Slovenly, lazy…constantly blathering on about the importance of ‘lightening up’ as if I was some sort of…” The pegasus knight withered under her friends’ gaze, her voice sputtering. She let out a small cough, in a fruitless effort to maintain her dignity. “Regardless. He acts in a manner utterly unbefitting his responsibilities.”</p><p>“You aren’t wrong, Ingrid.” Byleth paced back and forth, briefly transporting Edelgard to innocent school days, long ago. “It keeps everyone off guard, and allows opponents to underestimate him. My Papa always said that the scariest opponents are those who don’t care about impressing you. The other leaders in this conflict try to appear strong-Claude wants people to think him weak.”</p><p>“I would certainly hope I give more than the mere appearance of strength, my teacher” said Edelgard with a casual haughtiness. “All the clever stratagems in the world are no substitute for the fires of conviction.”</p><p>Byleth stared at Edelgard for a moment, before a gentle grin appeared on the woman’s face. She tilted her head, nodded, and gently patted the Emperor of Adrestia on her head.</p><p>“Of course, little flower, I’m sorry. You’re very, very strong.”</p><p>It would have felt sarcastic from anyone other than Byleth Eisner, but her utter sincerity was undeniable. Edelgard felt a blush begin to form on her pale cheeks. She turned away, collected herself, and tried to ignore Sylvain, who was quietly shaking with laughter.</p><p>“Anyone else?”</p><p>Dorothea let out a melodic hum. “He doesn’t act like a noble.” She paused and shook her head. “At least, not exactly like one. He’s as arrogant and as stubborn as you, Edie…don’t get me wrong…” The great diva smiled at her dear friend, before her face hardened. “He has the hunger.”</p><p>Byleth tilted her head. “The hunger? What do you mean, Dorothea?”</p><p>The only commoner in the Black Eagles began to wring her hands. ”I can’t explain it. It’s…just something I recognize. Everyone here has suffered in so many ways…but even people like Lysi or Ing don’t have it. There’s…” Dorothea paused and swallowed. “A desperation to him. As if everything he does is about proving that he belongs.”</p><p>“How do you know?” Ferdinand looked at his old friend with curiosity. “I wish to understand. My duty as a noble is to understand…”</p><p>“But that’s it, Ferdie. You can’t understand.” All the endless compassion seemed to be milled out of Dorothea’s beautiful green eyes. “I know because I see it in myself, every day I look in the mirror. It’s…what I learned on the streets, and it’s what carried me through each and every degrading thing I had to do to get to Garreg Mach.” The great diva ran a finger through her beautiful brown hair, caught in a web of memories. “Claude’s going to prove the world wrong…whatever it takes.”</p><p>Silence fell over the room, until Lysithea stepped forward, sparks of magic twirling on her fingertips in a self-assured display of power. “Claude is…many things...” She scrunched her face. “But more than anything…he’s a leader.”</p><p>“Oh?” Edelgard placed a hand to her chin. “I must confess he doesn’t give me that impression, Lysithea, but I trust your judgement. Why do you say that?”</p><p>“Most of you are from the Kingdom and the Empire…in which power ultimately lies in the hands of the Emperor or the King. But in the Alliance, any action requires consensus. Deal-making. Flattery.” Lysithea shrugged her shoulders. “It’s a game. And no one’s better at that then Claude.”</p><p>Edelgard considered the woman’s words, and realized their truth. Claude had spent years playing the nobles of the Alliance against one another, using the fractured state to minimize the Empire’s influence. Small clashes had ensured that any of the Empire’s diplomatic outreaches ended in failure. To balance those relationships must have taken incredible skill. </p><p>“Let’s consider what we’ve discussed.” Edelgard looked at each assembled member of the Black Eagles Strike Force. “He presents a false face to the world. His relaxed exterior hides a cunning, ruthless mind, and he prefers to present himself as much less capable and ambitious than he truly is. He has a strong grasp of political maneuverings, and isn’t above manipulating people. To have a chance of discovering his aims, we must put ourselves in that mindset.”</p><p>There was silence for a moment, before each and every eye in the war council turned to Sylvain.</p><p>“Hey…” Sylvain rubbed the back of his head. “Now just…” He paused, gaze focused on the roof of the canvas tent. “Actually, you know what? That’s fair.” He looked at Byleth and Edelgard, gave an impish smile, and winked. “Now you just sit back, relax, and let your old buddy Sylvain-”<br/>
<br/>
His next words were cut off, as Ingrid ground her boot into his toe.</p><p>“Focus.” muttered the pegasus knight. “You’re better than this.”</p><p>The cavalier nodded, and his false persona-all the insincere flattery and deceptive cheerfulness-fell away. His face hardened, as he turned his attention to the map of the continent that rested in front of him.</p><p>“All right…I want everyone to ask themselves this.” Sylvain looked around the room. “We know he didn’t care about fortifying or even losing the Great Bridge. We know he asked Judith to retreat. He’s basically allowing us to waltz right into the capital, and he has to be aware he can’t win in a prolonged military campaign. Why?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “Because he’s setting up a scheme of some kind, Sylvain. We’ve already anticipated that.”</p><p>“No, no, no…that’s not what I mean.” He wagged a finger, full of arrogance. “You’re missing the big picture…say he does beat us. Say he springs whatever this trap is, kills Edelgard, and wipes out the Black Eagle Strike Force. What does he do then?”</p><p>“That won’t happen,” said Byleth firmly. “I won’t let it happen.”</p><p>“But what if it <em>did</em>?” Sylvain slammed a hand on the table, startling Bernadetta. He looked at her for a moment, and mouthed a silent apology. “He’d have not only almost all of the Alliance’s army intact, but a free path to Enbarr. That’d give him control of two of the three armies, the breadbasket of the continent, and the two major shipping ports.” Sylvain paused, and sighed. “It’s not like he’s going to go hand Edelgard’s body over to the Church, and invite Dimitri and Rhea for tea and cake. If all he wanted was peace, he’d have sided with them in the first place.”</p><p>Petra leaned toward Sylvain. “My friend…I am not sure I have an understanding. Do you mean…”</p><p>“Yes.” Sylvain gave Petra a roguish wink. “Claude’s been shooting for the stars, this whole time. My guess is, Her Majesty isn’t the person with conquest on the mind.”</p><p>Silence hung over the room, as the full import of the dark knight’s words sunk in. Lysithea and Marianne exchanged glances, an anger broiling under the surface of the mage’s expression. Dorothea finally broke the stillness.</p><p>“Sylvain…you can take this however you’d like…but Goddess, you’re terrifying sometimes.”</p><p>The philander chuckled. “No offense taken. I’m a bastard. Before Edelgard and the Prof gave me a kick in the ass, all I was doing was pulling the wings off of flies. I didn’t think anything could change, so just I wasted my time hurting every woman I could. If I didn’t have you guys…I might’ve…” His trailed off, his expression unreadable, before an insincere smile returned to his face. “At least all of you helped me put some of that signature Gautier nastiness to good use.” </p><p>Ferdinand flicked his long hair, the orange locks flowing dramatically behind him. “Still…there is one thing that bothers me. If that was the aim, is all this subterfuge not counterproductive? Why not inform Judith, or any of his other allies? While I understand the need for subtlety, it…”</p><p>“Because, Ferdinand…” Marianne shook her head. “What if this trap…or his plans…aren’t about the Alliance at all? You remember our meetings with him. Did he seem concerned about what happened to Leicester? Not the people, but the country?”</p><p>“That’s why he was surprised.” Lysithea looked up from the table. “That’s why he expected Judith and everyone else to run. Because to him, none of this is worth dying over. And if he didn’t tell any of Alliance…” She looked at the magic glimmering on her fingers before flinging them downward in a fury. “Damn it, Claude!”</p><p>She stormed out of tent, pushing away Linhardt’s arm. With an apologetic gesture, Marianne quickly ran after her, the only person who could truly understand the turmoil polluting the girl’s mind. Edelgard looked to her assembled companions, eager to quickly dismiss the meeting and ensure the well-being of her two Leicester allies.</p><p>“We have some idea of what to expect, if not the specifics. We must be on our guard. I am counting on all of you to perform to the utmost of your ability. Professor Byleth will be in contact with you tomorrow morning to review details.” For a moment, that stern face softened. “My friends…we have come so far. Tomorrow…if we stay united, there is no force that can stand in our way. I believe that with all my heart.”</p><p>As the meeting dispersed, and the Eagles took to their tents, the discussion of Claude’s responsibilities had placed the Flame Emperor in a pensive mood. Edelgard found herself contemplating the visions she had seen in the previous battle. She had always known that fate could be cruel, but the other world she had briefly glimpsed felt like something else-a warning? A request? And if so, from who? Edelgard thought of how the previous visions she had witnessed had tempered some of her fire, and could not help but wonder if this was Sothis’ doing. For a woman who defined her life on freedom from the will of the gods, it was a truly frightening prospect.</p><p>Byleth rested a hand on her shoulder, causing Edelgard to jump with a start. The Ashen Demon smiled, and the rollicking tides of Edelgard’s mind eased. “Are you all right, little flower?” whispered the Enlightened One. “Are you still thinking about that vision you saw?”</p><p>Edelgard, after much internal debate, had privately revealed to her teacher the full truth of the vision she had seen; a world where some of her closest friends stood against her, and strangers stood on Adrestia’s side of the conflict in their stead. A world altered by the flip of a coin. On a night such as this, before the Flame Emperor would face former classmates in battle, the revelation seemed to be more than Edelgard could bear.</p><p>Once, Edelgard would have borne the burdens alone-the guilt and the shame and the endless questions-but she was trying to be better. She was trying to trust, when every part of her mind warned her of the consequences of letting others in. Once, El had watched her beloved uncle turn into a monster overnight. What if Dorothea or Ferdinand changed beyond recognition? What if Bernadetta or Petra’s eyes became just as empty as Arundel’s? She tried to steady her breathing, and believe in the goodness of those she loved.</p><p>“You always seem to sense my innermost thoughts, no matter how hard I attempt to conceal them.” Edelgard removed the crown from her head, allowing her long silver hair to flow freely. “It frightens me, my teacher. If I must see more of a world where Lysithea or Ingrid despise me…or be forced to cut down enemies with the knowledge that if I had only reached out, only found the right words…” She trailed off into silence.</p><p>Byleth watched her, emerald eyes probing under the Flame Emperor’s armor. “Are you feeling regret? For what you’ve done?” The question was asked without anger or sadness. She always had that intolerable ability to force Edelgard to confront emotions she did not wish to confront. “Or is it something else?”</p><p>They walked past the temporary stables, and Edelgard thought about her teacher’s query. The stars were twinkling overhead, and Byleth was clad in her ridiculous Enlightened One outfit. Edelgard could not help but feel she was confessing her sins to a cleric-although she had never seen a priest in black patterned tights before. </p><p>“I suppose I am…afraid.” Edelgard finally turned and faced the woman she loved. “I have fought these battles, taken the steps I have, because I believe that each and every person deserves the freedom to shape their destiny, based on their own choices. I understand that Sothis was your friend, but the idea of an invisible deity, dictating the lives of everyone and everything…I find it deeply irresponsible.”</p><p> Byleth nodded, letting out a quiet hum of understanding.</p><p>“It is clear the Goddess is watching over you, my teacher. Perhaps she has played a role in bringing our friends to our side, and preventing the Black Eagles from fracturing through countless tragedies.” Edelgard massaged her scarred hands, hidden under her gloves. “But now I know that others could have walked this path as well. They have just as much reason and right as Marianne or Sylvain. If the Goddess is watching over us-if She truly does care for all-how can She remain silent, as they fight for the systems that have ruined their lives?” The Emperor’s voice lowered to a whisper. “How can a good Goddess choose ten children to die, and allow one to live?”</p><p>The Enlightened One looked up at the brightest star in the night sky, her green hair luminescent in the moonlight. She seemed to be in conversation with something, or someone…and the thought sent so many conflicting feelings rushing through the Flame Emperor’s mind. </p><p>“As a teacher…I made a vow to protect the students of Garreg Mach. To protect you and fulfill that promise, I may have to end the lives of some of the other students I cared for. Even if I truly were the Goddess…I couldn’t save everyone.”</p><p>Byleth raised a hand, anticipating the torrent of objections that was about to tumble from Edelgard’s lips.</p><p>“We were supposed to kill each other, little flower.” Byleth turned and smiled. “All our lives, people have made plans for us…told us that we were weapons, gods, demons, royalty…but we found each other regardless. We helped each other become who we were supposed to be.” Byleth rested her head against Edelgard’s shoulder, her warm breath sending a shiver up the Flame Emperor’s spine. “We did that by cutting our own path, just like you always said. So here’s what we do.” She clasped her cool hands around her student’s face. “We fight fate, and trust one another. We use these visions to help everyone we can. Not as gods, or Emperors, but as us. That’s what Sothis wants us to do.”</p><p>“Will that be enough, my teacher?” Edelgard stared at the ground. “To be me?”</p><p>The Ashen Demon listened to the question, before she gave a quiet bark of a laugh, and kissed Edelgard von Hresvelg with such passion it almost sent the Emperor of Adrestia tumbling to the ground.</p><p>“Yes, my heart,” whispered Byleth, her voice filled with a warmth and life that would have been unimaginable five years ago. “For me, you are always enough.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As Edelgard and Byleth searched for Lysithea and Marianne, weaving through the tents and wagons, they were stopped by a flustered Ingrid. “I’ve been searching for you everywhere!” said the knight, her immense fondness covered by a thin veneer of exasperation. “We just finished discussing Claude’s duplicity, and you two are wandering around unaccompanied! I expect this from Edelgard, Professor, but you…”</p><p>Byleth’s piercing gaze turned to the former noble of the Kingdom. She smiled. “You’ve been fretting over everyone even more than normal, ever since the Great Bridge. You only do that when you feel like you did something wrong.” She placed a hand on Ingrid’s shoulder. “Tell us what’s happened. You know how much Edelgard and I care for you.”</p><p>“Of…of course I know! You matter to me…a great deal.” said Ingrid with a huff. For a moment, her eyes met Edelgard, a melancholy longing in those beautiful green orbs. Her cheeks flushed, and she looked away. “I am simply fulfilling my duties, and concerned about your safety. It is the height of irresponsibility to…to…” In the end, it all crumbled. “Fine. You win, Professor. I can’t…I can’t stop thinking about the coinflip. About my choices.”</p><p>Despite Edelgard’s attempted subterfuge, the conversation on the Great Bridge had clearly aggravated many of the knight’s private anxieties. Ingrid was a living symbol of everything that the Flame Emperor fought for-a talented woman, unacknowledged by the systems that dominated her life. The faith that Edelgard had shown in the pegasus rider had unlocked the real girl-sublimated for years under the debilitating weight of Faerghus, Crests, and familial duty. Ingrid was breaking her chains, and beginning to soar.</p><p>“Look at yourself.” The Emperor gestured to the Adrestian sash on Ingrid’s chest, and the purple ribbons that never left her blond hair. “That is the result of your choices. We are connected, and I am forever grateful-“</p><p>“But we almost weren’t.” The accusation hung in the air. “Growing up, in Faerghus...my destiny was not my own. I accepted it all unquestioningly-being asked to choose suitors at thirteen years old. Hiding in my room, terrified of my father and brothers yelling at me again. Believing that slaughtering the people of Duscar was a divinely appointed Punishment. I was shaped into the role that others wished for me, as if I was nothing more than a lifeless, soulless sculpture. To break away from that blind obedience, choosing instead to live for myself…some days, the guilt is more than I can bear.”</p><p>Byleth and Edelgard did not speak, allowing the knight to collect herself.</p><p>“The one thing I could grasp, when I had betrayed my king, my childhood friends, my family, and my oaths, was that I had made this choice. That I controlled my destiny.” Ingrid smiled, and looked between her two friends. “It made me…proud. I deserved to fight at your side, not because I was a Galatea, or a noble with a Crest, but because I was me.” Her normally flat voice began to waver. “Because I was Ingrid.”</p><p>Edelgard grasped her dear friend’s hand. The memories of that other world danced in her mind, but the Flame Emperor tried to shout them down. This was a war, and this was her path. To imagine a life without this…it was unimaginable. </p><p>“If I hadn’t joined you, who would I be? What if I…what if I hated you both? Edelgard…I lov…” The knight caught herself, unable to speak the words. Her green eyes seemed to pierce through the shield Edelgard placed over her heart. “If everything I am could change on the whims of fate, am I truly a virtuous person, or am I just fortunate?” She turned her attentions to the stars, and fell silent. </p><p>Edelgard thought of the woman she had become without Byleth Eisner’s love, the smile she had seen on the other Annette’s face, and this new truth she was concealing from her friends, and tightened her grip on Aymr.</p><p>“I-” Ingrid rested her head on her battle-worn fingers. “I spent years…afraid to change even the tiniest piece of myself, without Glenn around to see it. Poor Annette used to hassle me endlessly to try on makeup…” The knight let out a long sigh. “And I’m not even sure if I loved him. All Ingrid Galatea has ever been is what other people wished.  And inside…I’m nothing at all.”</p><p>“Hmmm…”</p><p>The deep, halting voice caused the three women to turn with a start. The terrifying general of the Imperial army, Jeritza von Hyrm, loomed over the group. In his hand rested a well-worn notebook. He turned to Edelgard, and gave a deep bow. </p><p>Jeritza normally remained silent during War Council sessions, preferring to remain in the shadows. Even over the five years, there was still a deep uneasiness between the man behind the Death Knight’s mask and the rest of the Strike Force. Edelgard knew that for him to speak, the reasons must be extraordinary.</p><p>“Your Majesty. Please forgive me…the intrusion.” </p><p>Edelgard eyed the man carefully, afraid that he would challenge Byleth to a fight to the death, here and now. She stepped in front of the Ashen Demon, and her softness melted away. “Jeritza. Does Hubert require me?” </p><p>The Imperial general shook his head. “No. I was…” He paused, and looked down at the tome resting in his hand. “I could not…help but overhear.” He turned to Ingrid, his stoic expression deeply unsettling. “You long for oblivion, do you not? I am much the same…”</p><p>The pegasus knight shot backwards, as if she had been struck by a spell. Her mouth dropped open, before her usual fire returned. “How…how <em>dare</em> you compare yourself to me! I…I…we are nothing alike! What could give you-“</p><p>“Your eyes.” Jeritza’s expression remained unwavering. “They are like…the eyes of the Death Knight. Behind my mask…there is an emptiness. You have experienced great loss as well. Loss so great that only the release of the void can satisfy you. You fight…hoping that in the final moments, you will find meaning. Correct?”</p><p>Stunned, Ingrid could only slowly nod.</p><p>“If you doubt who you are, Ingrid Galatea, you need only look at what you have done. The Death Knight thrives on blood. Suffering. Death.” He glanced down at the notebook in his hands. “You, however…chose to be a knight who defends life. To protect. If you wish to know what you are, in any world…that is truth that I see.”</p><p>Ingrid walked toward the man. She looked at him for a moment, before extending her arm. “Jeritza. I must apologize to you. Please forgive me my earlier rudeness.” She said with a smile. “Thank you.” </p><p>The demon watched Edelgard for a moment, and the Emperor gave her general an approving nod. As Jeritza reached out to shake Ingrid’s hand, the book fell from his grasp, onto the muddy ground at his feet. In a flash, the man’s laconic bearing vanished, and his arms rummaged desperately in the darkness. When Ingrid found his prized possession, a look of immense relief appeared on his face. </p><p>“Thank you…” muttered Jeritza. Seeing the look of concern on Ingrid’s face, he shook his head. “It is nothing to concern yourself with. They are…simply letters to my sister. I cannot see her…as I am now. The Death Knight may harm her. It is better that the person I once was…remain dead.” He gripped his lance. “That is why I have asked Her Majesty to conceal my true name. I know what the Death Knight’s end shall be…to die in the flames of battle. I shall tumble into the gates of hell, dragging the damned with me. That is what my legacy shall be.” </p><p>Edelgard remembered the one condition that Jeritza had demanded, in all his years of service-that the identity of Emile von Bartels remain forever buried. It was a request with which the Flame Emperor identified more than she cared to admit.</p><p>A lantern cut through the darkness. “Jeritza.” Shamir raised an eyebrow. “We’ve been looking for you forever. Hubert wants to discuss your role tomorrow.” She looked at the three women. “He’s not bothering you, is he?”</p><p>“No,” said Edelgard firmly. “He’s been quite helpful. But I’m sure you two wish for some time alone, so-“</p><p>Jeritza and Shamir looked at each other, than back to the Emperor. “What are you talking about?” said the Dagdan archer. An awkward silence hung over the group.</p><p>“Aren’t you two…” the words failed Ingrid, and she settled for gesturing between the two warriors. “Together?”</p><p>Jeritza’s face remained stoic, but Shamir began to laugh uproariously. “You actually think we-“ She pushed a purple strand of hair off her forehead. “Just because Jeritza and I like working together, doesn’t mean we behave like your little Black Eagle clique and pair off.” She nodded at the man. “He is damn good in a fight, though, I have to say. You fight alongside anyone as long as the two of us have, and you learn to trust each other.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded, her face reddened with embarrassment. “I see. Then…carry on.”</p><p>As Jeritza and Shamir walked away, the archer turned back and winked at Byleth and Edelgard. “Important thing to remember, Your Majesty-not everyone is as unprofessional as Professor Eisner.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the three women searched for Lysithea, weaving through the tents and wagons, they found a secluded nook, where the mage and Marianne were staring at a lonely fire. The logs had long burned away, leaving only the embers to battle against the vast, encroaching darkness. A subtle motion of Lysithea’s head was the only greeting offered. </p><p>“Lysithea…” Ingrid took a seat to Lysithea’s right, and awaited a response. Trying to hide her concern, behind a stoic exterior, the knight grasped the girl’s shoulder. “We’re all concerned, and we’re not leaving until you talk to us.” Ingrid’s face softened. “Each person here has spent our lives shouldering burdens that few can understand. You and I both understand the immense pressure of familial duty. We all look out for each other. That was the agreement, whether it was spoken or not.”</p><p>Edelgard nodded her head in agreement. “I made a promise to you, Lysithea. To ask you to face your own country in battle is...” She paused and squeezed the girl’s fingers. “Rest assured, I do not take your sacrifices for granted. You are family to me, and I wish to help you, however I can.”</p><p>“Fine. You wish to know the source of my anger?” Lysithea shot her head upward. “My childhood…my entire life, was destroyed as a cog in a grand scheme. I made my parents a promise-I would provide for them, so no one could ever manipulate or hurt us again. It was all I had.” She looked the Emperor of Adrestia in the eye. “I could not change the world. I could do nothing about the injustices that allowed my siblings to be carved apart with knives and spells. I had nothing to believe in, except the ticking of a clock!”</p><p>Byleth stood behind the girl, and without a word, grabbed the mage’s shoulder. Lysithea looked up at the Ashen Demon with immense gratitude.</p><p>“I swore to myself I would never be used again,” whispered the last Ordelia. “That I would only fight for someone if I believed in them.” </p><p>“That’s why we’re here…isn’t it?” Marianne stared at the dying logs of the fire. “It’s a terrible thing to live without purpose or hope. For so long…there was only one decision. It was just a matter of when.” She turned to Edelgard and let out a beautiful laugh. “But now I have a reason to hope for tomorrow’s sunrise.” </p><p>“I understand, Marianne. I feel much the same.” Lysithea nodded. “It’s just…” she paused. “I thought I believed in Claude.”</p><p>Marianne let out a sigh. “Perhaps…perhaps this is the only way he can fulfill his dream, Lysithea. He made Edelgard swear that we would be treated with respect. He…can be difficult, but I have to believe he would not have just abandoned me, if I had stayed with the Golden Deer. That’s not who he is.”</p><p>Lysithea von Ordelia and Edelgard von Hresvelg were similar in a multitude of ways-women of iron will, using their immense talents to ensure that no child would ever experience the horrors of their childhoods. There was one fundamental difference, however; while Edelgard deliberated on the consequences and outcomes of each and every choice, Lysithea was a human battering ram, a dynamo that threw the entire weight of her spirit into every decision. </p><p>The mage stared at Marianne, and her conviction returned. “You are correct. It’s pointless to speculate. I believe in Edelgard and her path, and so do you. That is the only truth I need.” She idly conjured a spell on her fingers, twisting and shaping the sparks with an expert nimbleness. “There are so many potentials and futures I have already lost. The monsters who killed my family made sure of that. I refuse to spend what little time I do have fretting about what might have been.” With a burst of anger, she set the campfire aflame, generating a towering inferno. “I don’t have any other choice.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
“C’mon Edelgard! Me and my muscles aren’t letting you through!” Raphael Kirsten battered the Emperor of Adrestia’s shield with his gauntlets. The hulking man’s muscles created large dents in the crimson shield, the sound reverberating across the path to Deirdru. “Claude told me to protect the bridge, and that’s what I’m going to do!”</p><p>The entrance to the Aquatic Capital was a single great wooden expanse, and Raphael had immediately charged the approaching Imperial troops. It was an impulsive, reckless assault, but even at the Academy, Raphael had never been renowned for his tactical acumen. </p><p>“Raphael. Please stop.” Marianne’s gentle voice cut through the din. Behind her, Petra and Bernadetta’s bows pinned down the Alliance’s front lines, while Caspar charged forward with wild abandon. The holy knight raised her sword. “This is the only way forward! We have to do this!”</p><p>“Sorry, Mari…no can do!” The knight swung his gauntlets at Dorte, but the Edmund heir easily avoided his clumsy strikes. “Claude made me a knight of House Riegan! I gotta pay him back somehow!”</p><p>Dark portals began to form underneath the Alliance soldiers’ feet, before a towering explosion blew them backwards. Lysithea von Ordelia, perhaps the most powerful mage in the Empire’s forces, decimated the Leicester defenses with the flick of her hand. Two swordsmen charged toward her, and with a sage’s tranquility, she summoned a constellation of dark orbs that shielded her from the enemy assault.</p><p>“I don’t have time for this, Raphael.” She shot her arm forward, and the shadowy energy that surrounded her battered the enemies until they could no longer stand. “You have no chance against us! Do you think getting yourself killed is what your sister would want?”</p><p>Raphael looked around himself, his regiment of fighters immobilized. The normally jovial face of the young man hardened. “It hurt me so much when you and Mari left. I tried to watch out for you both, like a big bro should, and then you left us to fight for the Empire! You even killed Ignatz!” He charged toward the Leicester mage, but Edelgard intercepted the blow. The hulking man’s gauntlets ricocheted harmlessly off the Flame Emperor’s shield.</p><p>“Our victory is inevitable, Raphael,” said Edelgard with an unnatural tranquility. “Is your loyalty to Claude truly worth this?”</p><p>“Sure it is!” exclaimed the man, face consumed with exertion. “I’m here ‘cause Claude’s my buddy, and I know he’s a good guy. He’s trying to keep everyone safe and alive!” He looked Edelgard in the eye. “You know how I’m sure I gotta stop you, Edelgard?” He dodged a few swings of Aymr with shocking nimbleness. “You didn’t just start this war, but you tricked good people like the Professor, Mari and Lysithea into helping you. Only a really bad person would do that!”</p><p>Edelgard tried to ignore the pain that Raphael’s blunt words inspired. She stole a quick glance toward the woman she loved. Byleth, along with Ferdinand and Sylvain, had begun to push into the streets of the Alliance capital, but the narrow roads were slowing their progress. She had to finish this battle with Raphael. Immediately.</p><p>As Aymr pushed against Raphael’s gauntlets, the Flame Emperor turned back to her friends. “Marianne! Caspar!” Edelgard’s voice echoed over the battlefield. “Help me end this!”</p><p>Marianne nodded, and closed her eyes. When other mages, such as Hubert and Lysithea, cast their spells, one could see the tension-shrewd minds calculating and bodies straining from the exertion. But when Marianne’s frame shone with holy light, there was a tranquility, an inner peace that Edelgard could not begin to comprehend. It was as if each spell was a prayer, a petition to the universe, channeling a fragment of divine will. </p><p>A freezing wind cut through the coastal air of Deirdru, as even the Emperor’s body began to shiver under her red battledress. The wood of the bridge began to crack and hiss, as the moisture trapped inside the logs quickly froze. For a moment, that seemed to be the only consequence of the holy knight’s Fimbulvetr spell, before shards of ice erupted out of the planks. It surrounded Raphael and his men, separating them from the Black Eagles. Despite their repeated and frantic attempts to break through, the wall of ice momentarily prevented their escape.</p><p>“Raphael. Forgive me.”  Marianne placed a hand to her chest, and looked downward. After collecting herself, she turned to Caspar and nodded. “It’s done.” </p><p>“Thanks Mari!” Caspar turned to Edelgard. “Let’s do it, Your Majesty!”</p><p>With a mighty yell, Caspar charged at the Flame Emperor. Despite the weight of his immense armor, he jumped, using Aymr and Edelgard’s strength to boost himself high into the air. Readying his gauntlet, he rocketed to earth as if he were shot out of a ballista, shattering the fragile lumber with a mighty punch. </p><p>The bridge let out a groan, before the brittle section holding up Raphael and his men collapsed, sending the Leicester fighters tumbling into the river. Edelgard turned to Caspar and nodded. “Fine work, both of you.” </p><p>Marianne silently stared at the waters below, before her grey eyes pierced into Edelgard. “Don’t be upset about what Raphael said. You didn’t drag me down. You…” She struggled, her old insecurities momentarily floating to the surface. “You…you lifted me up. Don’t ever doubt yourself, or how much I believe in you.”</p><p>Edelgard was struck dumb, the great Hegemon of the Adrestian Empire powerless against such a simple gesture of faith. She looked at Marianne, and for a moment, the mask of the Emperor fell away. “I…thank you, Marianne. In the midst of all this horror…thank you for remaining by my side.”</p><p>“Of course…” Marianne nodded, and her face lit up with a beaming smile. “I hope you know, Edelgard…the Goddess isn’t the only thing I have faith in.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As Edelgard and Byleth moved to the vanguard of the Imperial forces, the streets of Deirdru were eerily quiet. Many had fled the Aquatic Capital, while those few that remained huddled inside their boarded-up houses. A few stray volleys from Leicester archers were all that greeted the Empire as its military pushed toward the port.</p><p>Edelgard could not help but steal a few careful glances at Byleth, watching her teacher's face take on that frightening, impassive quality it only featured when in battle. That expression was one that Edelgard wished she never had to see again…yet it was also only there because of the Flame Emperor’s choices and decisions. She could not stop herself from wondering if Byleth did not nurse some silent bitterness toward her. It would certainly be deserved.</p><p>The Strike Force weaved around one of the many winding corners of this great city, past the numerous abandoned carts and covered wagons, until the snaking buildings opened into a pristine main square. There, a pink-haired woman stood, surrounded by a horde of Alliance soldiers. She twirled the relic weapon in her hand, before adopting a demure, saccharine pose. Edelgard knew her opponent much too well to be fooled-she could see the tautness of Hilda Goneril’s forearms, and the respect that shone in the eye of each and every man that followed her.</p><p>“Well, well, well! If it isn’t my old neighbor-and the Professor!” She gave a mawkish wave, and turned back to her troops. “Can you believe it? You know, the first time I ever saw these two together, they were feeding cats at the monastery. Who’d have ever guessed they’d pull off something like this?” She tilted her head. “So…<em>Professor</em>…are you going to let me go? Or are you going to make me <em>work</em>?” She raised the great treasure of the Gonerils, Freikugel, and winked.</p><p>Edelgard tried to conceal her irritation, and raised Aymr. “The only person we wish to see is Claude. If you and your soldiers stand down, there is no need for further-“</p><p>“Oh, I think there’s plenty of need, <em>Edelgard</em>,” sneered Hilda. “Always expecting everyone to fall all over themselves at how important you are. This is my home. I’m not going to back down, and I’m not going abandon dear old Claude to you and the rest of your little-“ She paused, as Dorte carried his rider to the front of the Imperial army. For a moment, Hilda’s eyes widened, and a broad smile crossed her face. “Oh, Mari…it’s you.”</p><p>The holy knight lowered her sword, and Marianne’s face fell. “Hilda…I…”</p><p>“Shh…don’t worry. Is Lysi with you? Goddess, Mari, you look so beautiful…and happy.”</p><p>Marianne’s expression remained downcast. “Thank you, Hilda. I’m…I’m sorry we….”</p><p>Hilda shook her head. “Don’t you dare apologize. It’s okay. These things happen in war.” She turned to Lysithea, who was floating behind the Emperor. “You've become so mature, Lysithea. It’s good to see you both.” The pain on her face was covered by an insincere yawn. “Now…I’m already tired from all this work, so why don’t we get this started? After all…” she twirled her ax, and extended an arm to the Alliance soldiers. “I know none of you can handle my best.”</p><p>Byleth bolted toward the ax-wielding maiden, the flails of the Sword of the Creator wrapping around Hilda’s weapon. The Ashen Demon attempted to yank the relic out of her opponent’s arms, but Hilda would not be so easily disarmed. A spasm of annoyance momentarily crossed Hilda’s countenance. </p><p>“C’mon, Professor! Has being Edelgard’s attack dog made you that overconfident?” With a mighty tug of her relic, she began to spin, catching Byleth flat-footed. The Ashen Demon was jerked into the façade of one of the nearby buildings, smashing into the bricks in an explosion of dust and stone.</p><p>Heartened at seeing one of the great generals of the Imperial forces bloodied, the Leicester soldiers began to charge toward the Imperial troops. Edelgard turned her attention to her forces. “Sylvain! Ferdinand! Prevent the Alliance from breaking through our backline!” She could see Linhardt already checking on Byleth, and nodded at Marianne. “We have to defend the vanguard!” </p><p>Hilda charged toward the Flame Emperor and Marianne, Freikugel forcing them both to scatter. Edelgard realized what was happening. Hilda and the Alliance were pushing them back…out of the public square, and back into the tight limits of the city’s alleyways. </p><p>Hilda began to laugh. “You thought you had this all planned out, didn’t you? You’re smart, but not like my Claude!” She let out a whistle, and with a proud battlecry, the windows of the buildings flew open. Tens of Leicester archers began to rain projectiles down onto the defenseless Imperial troops.</p><p>Behind the Imperial army, a squadron of cavalry fighters arrived to reinforce the position, pinning the Black Eagle Strike Force in at both sides. It was all spinning out of control. The Black Eagles were being outmaneuvered at every level. Edelgard turned to Byleth, realizing that the situation was rapidly deteriorating. </p><p>“My teacher. Take Monica and Dorothea, and create an escape route for our forces! I’ll hold off Hilda!” </p><p>With the mighty power of her twin Crests, Edelgard took to the air, Aymr glowing with mysterious, inhuman strength. The demon ax narrowly missed the Alliance leader, demolishing the cobblestones of Deirdru in an eruption of plaster. Hilda used her great maneuverability to duck and weave against Aymr’s strikes.</p><p>“So where’d you get the relic ax, Edelgard?” said Hilda, smashing her weapon into the Flame Emperor over and over. “I understand being jealous of me, but you have to admit…” In a truly astonishing display of cheek, she stuck out her tongue at the ruler of Adrestia. “I make it look much, much cuter than you do.”</p><p>It was a childish, stupid taunt. Hilda was an expert manipulator, and was trying to force Edelgard to lower her guard, whichever way she could. Still…there had always been something about Hilda Goneril that had irritated the Flame Emperor. Perhaps it was the pink-haired maiden’s lack of work ethic, or perhaps it was jealousy at the ease at which Hilda navigated the confusing dance of social rituals. Whatever the reason, Edelgard readied a flame spell, and flung it at her opponent.</p><p>It caught Hilda by surprise, the warrior avoiding the blow, but remaining off-balance. Edelgard rushed forward, sensing an opportunity, but in her haste, she sacrificed her defenses. As she raised Aymr to deliver a powerful blow, an arrow burst through her wrist. </p><p>With a cry of pain, Edelgard dropped Aymr, and ripped the shaft out in frustration. One of Claude’s numerous snipers had found its mark, and Hilda charged forward, eager to make the Emperor of Adrestia pay for her incursion into Deirdru. Edelgard dodged, but felt herself stumble backwards. She could see the satisfaction on Hilda’s face, as a Crest powered arm pinned her to the wall…</p><p>“Don’t touch her, Hilda!” The Flame Emperor heard the familiar voice scream from behind her. Lysithea’s body was surrounded by a miasma of purple and black energy, her face filled with rage. </p><p>Hilda responded by pressing the hilt of Freikugel into the Emperor of Adrestia’s throat, taut biceps straining from the exertion. “C’mon Lysithea!” spat Hilda in disgust. “This is our home! Are you really going to work with a woman who’s trying to conquer the entire continent? Didn’t Claude and I mean anything to you?”</p><p>The great mage of the Empire shook her head. “You can’t understand, Hilda! This is bigger than friends or peace or anything else! It’s all broken. I won’t sit by and accept that this is the way things have to be!” She moved to help Edelgard, before two Leicester cavalry intercepted her, preventing the mage from aiding the Emperor.</p><p>Hilda watched her former classmate, before her expression hardened. “Fine. I see there’s no reasoning with you. I won’t let my family, or my friends, or Claude down!” She turned to Edelgard, and began to lift the Emperor off her feet, the handle of her relic pressing into her opponent’s skin. “If I can end this madness…I’m not going to give up that chance. Sorry, Edelgard.” The Flame Emperor felt her air begin to cut off, and without a surface to push against, she could not free herself.</p><p>A chill passed down Edelgard’s back. Not from the cold temperature of one of Marianne’s spells, but from the bottomless void of dark magic. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a flash of white and purple, as the mage’s body collected the negative energy from the nearby ether. Edelgard realized immediately what Lysithea was about to do, and began to thrash even harder against Hilda’s iron grip. Her failing hearing could just make out her friend screaming her name, before the spell hit.</p><p>The explosion sent the Emperor tumbling headlong, as Hilda took much of the force of the blow, her body decimated. The Flame Emperor tried to steady her blurred vision, as the surviving Alliance and Imperial forces attempted to collect themselves. She saw Lysithea’s broken body, limbs askew from the terrible strain of using her body as a conduit for untold amounts of dark magic. Edelgard ran to her side, and grabbed her friend’s arm.</p><p>“Lysithea…Lysi…please.”</p><p>The mage was unable to turn her head, instead watching the blue sky above her. “Edelgard. I don’t know…. why they were so…surprised. Using your own body’s energies… to increase the potency of dark magic is simple…chapter eight of <em>The Compendium of Light and Dark</em>… says…” She began to cough blood all over Edelgard’s hands.</p><p>“Shh….” The Emperor rubbed the girl’s hands gently. “Don’t strain yourself...I…you’re going to to get through this, Lysi. I’ll get Linhardt. Just…just…”</p><p>“It’s all right…” Lysithea shook her head. “I…was…always so angry…about how much time…had been taken from…me. I always…wondered what it would be like…to have all the things…other people did. Friends…love…hope…” The girl’s breaths grew more and more ragged. “But…I got to meet you…and you gave me a purpose…just…just…” She paused and collected herself. “Finish it…promise me you’ll finish it. For all the…little girls like…like us.”</p><p>Edelgard rubbed the girl’s hands. “Lysi. I’m going to fix this, all right? I’m going to get Professor Byleth and this will all…” In her haste and distress, she started to release the girl’s hand, but Lysithea refused to let go.</p><p>“Please…don’t leave me. I…I’ve always tried to be brave…but Edelgard…I’m scared. I’m so…” Her face knotted with pain, and Edelgard felt her mind shatter. It didn’t matter if the Divine Pulse would fix this. She would not leave this Lysithea to face the void alone.</p><p>“Call me El, Lysithea. My sisters called me El.”</p><p>“El…” Lysithea gave a weak smile, a spark of immense pride briefly lighting up her face. “I’m so glad…I got to protect…” Her eyes went vacant, and her hand limp. </p><p>Edelgard stumbled forward, desperate to find her teacher. The old fuzziness was back, the strange sense that she was watching some other creature control her body. She found Byleth, a horrific gash in her thigh, white outfit stained red. The Flame Emperor knelt before the woman she loved.</p><p>“Lysithea’s dead. You have to send us back.”</p><p>Dorothea, who was frantically healing the wounded nearby, turned in surprise and despair, but Edelgard maintained her focus on her teacher. They were the only two who would remember this horror. She reached out her hand, and gently squeezed Byleth’s arm, trying to comfort the woman she loved, and reassure her that she was not alone. She wondered how many times Byleth had watched her students die, and had faced their looks of guilt and distress, all by herself.</p><p>The gesture brought a new calm and resolve to Byleth Eisner’s face, and the Ashen Demon’s body began to shake from the strain. They were in this together. Edelgard could feel the world begin to tatter and fray, and tried to prepare herself for whatever new vision lay in wait.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<em>The smoke and devastation of Lysithea’s attack was gone. Deirdru was again filled with the clamor of battle and the clanging of swords. Hilda stepped forward, swinging her relic toward the Flame Emperor with reckless abandon. As the she raised her weapon to block the attack, she felt a movement at her side, and the unmistakable energy of wind magic blasting Hilda into the wall.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We’re in this together!” said Annette with a determined expression. “Don’t let her get to you!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard nodded, trying to avoid interfering with the inhabitants of this other world. As she charged toward Hilda to incapacitate her opponent, Edelgard heard a familiar hum. It was a sound she was long accustomed to hearing on the battlefield…but this time, the powerful volleys of dark magic collided with her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I won’t go easy on you, Edelgard,” said Lysithea with a smirk. “Even if you are a familiar face.” She looked at Hilda, who was staggering to her feet. “Are you all right, Hilda?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The ax-wielder nodded, and allowed Lysithea to help her to her feet. For a moment, the two pairs of women faced off against one another, before Edelgard remembered Byleth’s words. <strong>We use these visions to help everyone we can.</strong> The Flame Emperor made her decision. Whether this world was real, or false…she would make sure Lysithea did not fall here today. She would defy fate.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Annie!” The Flame Emperor turned to this strange, unknown friend. “Keep Hilda occupied!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m your girl, El!” The former Lion winked, before sending a cascade of Gale spells at Hilda. The sounds of their battle echoed throughout the streets of Deirdru.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard raised her arms. “We do not have to be enemies, Lysithea.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lysithea scowled at Edelgard, an immense hatred in her eyes. “You were working with the people who abducted Flayn, and took her blood. You were the Flame Emperor! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY TOOK FROM ME!?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Lysithea, I was allying with them out of necessity.” Edelgard dodged the mage’s spells. “You must listen, there isn’t much ti-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No. You listen, you monster! The Empire did unthinkable things to my family. They cut and tortured my siblings, until all the hope was gone from my life. Don’t you dare tell me it was a necessity!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>This other Edelgard had never fully reached out a hand to Lysithea. The girl had been left behind, abandoned by the only person who could possibly understand her agony. Edelgard fought down the raw emotion swelling within her, and realized what she had to do. With all the power of her twin Crests, she bolted toward the stunned mage and tackled her to the ground. Lysithea tried to struggle, but her arms were pinned. She glared up at the Flame Emperor, wearing the same face that so often greeted Edelgard with love and devotion, and spat in her eye.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Lysithea!” Edelgard hissed down at the girl, filled with desperation. “Look!” She pulled down the gauntlet of her arm, revealing a small piece of the devastation the Agarthians had wrought upon her body. “We have walked the same path. We have had all that we loved taken from us. I promise you Lysithea, we fight for the same thing. We can still join together, and make a world where no little girl is unable to recognize their reflection!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You…you’re… Edelgard…why didn’t-? How?” Lysithea’s pink eyes widened, and began to shimmer. “Oh Goddess...I’m...I’m not alone.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You will never be alone again, Lysithea” said Edelgard, trying to hold back the groundswell of emotion now enveloping her body. “I will explain why. I promise you. Just please…you do not deserve to die here.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lysithea looked at Edelgard for a moment, studying Edelgard’s patchwork of scars with a wary eye. “Fine,” said the mage. “I yield. I will trust in you and Professor Byleth.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Flame Emperor felt an immense wave of relief rush through her body, before hearing Bernadetta’s quivering voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Edelgard…do you need help? Professor Byleth sent me, Felix and Alois to support you…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, Bernadetta.” The Flame Emperor did not lift her head, still focusing on the young mage’s stunned face. “Get Lysithea any medical treatment she requires and get her off the battlefield as soon as possible.” The flapping of pegasus wings could be heard overhead, and for a moment, Edelgard wondered where Ingrid was in this strange, twisted world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“If you permit me, I shall convey her off the battlefield, Your Majesty.” The voice startled the Flame Emperor. It was familiar. It was the one classmate she had never reached out to. The one classmate she <strong>knew</strong> would never stay by her side. The one person she had failed to trust. Edelgard turned, and saw a diminutive green-haired girl on a pegasus, and felt her mind go blank.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Flayn?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had only a moment to look into the emerald eyes of one of the children of the Goddess before she was pulled back to her world.</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As Edelgard returned to life, she tried to push aside the revelations and horrors she had witnessed, only to feel the familiar, awful pressure of Freikugel’s hilt against her neck. The strain must have prevented Byleth from sending them back too far. Edelgard’s mind searched frantically for a solution, before her eye fell upon the wall next to her. The power of Hilda slamming her opponent into the brick had jostled loose some debris, and the Flame Emperor’s fingers wrapped around as much sand and gravel as she could, before she flung it into Hilda’s eye. The ferocious warrior sputtered, before a vicious shoulder charge sent her flying backwards. </p><p>The Imperial Army was beginning to overwhelm the Alliance forces. While Edelgard and Lysithea had been engaged in combat with Hilda, Linhardt had used a Warp spell to bring Jeritza to the battlefield. Byleth and the Death Knight had made quick, efficient work of the opposing Alliance soldiers, and the immense dominance of the Imperial Army was beginning to exert itself. </p><p>As Hilda staggered to a knee, Byleth approached, raising the Sword of the Creator. “Hilda. You have fought bravely and well,” intoned the Ashen Demon. “There is no point in continuing this battle.”</p><p>“Oh really?” Hilda shook her head. “The Gonerils have defended Leicester since it was founded. We’ve protected it from every type of threat: pirates, the Kingdom, Almyrans…” She let out a soft giggle. “If this really is the last day of the Alliance…I won’t let Claude face it alone!” Suddenly, the girl’s face lit up with a mixture of joy and relief, as a black silhouette appeared against the gleaming sunlight of Deirdru.</p><p>Edelgard reacted to the flapping of wyvern wings before any of her other allies. She pulled Lysithea behind her, as an arrow bounced harmlessly off of the Imperial crest of her shield. She turned to her teacher and nodded, before staring up at the leader of the Leicester Alliance.</p><p>“We haven’t seen each other since Garreg Mach, and I must say, Edelgard...” Claude was clad in a loose-fitting tan outfit, a canary-yellow cape trailing behind him. Around his waist hung an ornately patterned sash, along with the arrows of the Devil Bow, Failnaught. His once boyish charm had matured into the confident charisma of a leader. “…You’ve grown more lovely than ever.” He nocked an arrow, and pointed it at the Adrestian Emperor.</p><p>“You don’t look too bad yourself,” said Edelgard, raising her shield in preparation.</p><p>“Ah…Hilda would yell at me, if I didn’t take care of myself…you know how she is…” The steely flint behind Claude’s green eyes softened for a moment. “So, Teach…any regrets on not picking me and the Golden Deer? Actually…forget it. No use worrying about such things.” He seemed to regret this brief moment of vulnerability, before a devious smile crossed his face. “So, we have a lot to catch up on! How’s everyone-“</p><p>“Claude.” Edelgard shook her head. “Your forces are almost routed. This battle is at an end. Surrender, and we will be merciful.”</p><p>The archer began to rock back and forth on his mount, his laughter echoing over the battlefield. “Oh…how I’ve missed this. Remember when we’d play those games of chess? How you’d always, always go for the quickest path to victory, even if it left you vulnerable?”</p><p>Edelgard could feel a creeping dread in the pit of her stomach, but decided to continue to play Claude’s game.</p><p>“I do. And I also remember you attempting to sneak your pieces back onto the board when I wasn’t looking.”</p><p>“I never could slip one past you, could I, Your Majesty?” chuckled Claude. “But really, that’s just strategy. When the pieces you have are overmatched...you just have to get more from somewhere else.”</p><p>“Edelgard!” With immense speed, Ingrid’s pegasus shot into the Flame Emperor’s field of vision. She landed at next to Byleth and Edelgard, her normally stern face filled with concern. “We need to move. We have to get out of the city now. There’s so many…Claude’s...”</p><p>She paused, as the battlefield was filled with sound of great wings flapping. From the sea, dozens upon dozens of wyvern riders appeared, their steeds emblazoned with the emblem of the Alymran army. </p><p>With a terrible clarity, everything fell into place in Edelgard’s mind. Why Claude called himself an outsider. Why he asked Tomas if the Sword of the Creator could destroy a mountain. How an heir to the foremost house in Leicester had managed to remain unknown for so very long. Why he didn’t think the Alliance was worth dying for. And most of all…why he never allied himself with Edelgard.</p><p>Hilda looked up at the advancing Almyran forces, shock quickly curdling to fury. </p><p>“Claude!” It was difficult to tell if there was more betrayal or rage in Hilda’s voice. “What did you do?! You...you <em>bastard</em>!”</p><p>There was a brief look of pain on the man’s face, before all the jokes and flippancy and glibness fell away, and the true Claude von Riegan appeared before the Black Eagle Strike Force. He extended his arms outward, to the multitude of warriors that now darkened the sky.</p><p>“Now…it’s our turn. Almyran Elite!” As Claude spoke, Edelgard remembered Lysithea’s words. This man was not just a leader…he was a <em>king</em>. “Pierce the flanks of the Imperial Army! The fangs and claws that the Alliance fears will now be their salvation!”</p><p>The wyverns began to dive toward the Imperial troops, boxed in by the streets of Deirdru. The Demon of the Tabletop twirled Failnaught in his hands, before raising his weapon toward the Flame Emperor. </p><p>“Hey, Edelgard…” said Claude with a smirk. “Checkmate.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry about the delay, folks. This one needed some extra time to get it where I wanted it to be. I really love Claude, and I wanted to give his starring role in this chapter the focus it deserved (Honestly, this is one of my favorite chapter endings)</p><p>The title actually comes from my friend QuoteMyFoot’s fic, also called Trust Exercise, which is an Edelclaude fic, and absolutely tremendous. If you've ever wanted to see more of that pairing, I can't recommend it enough. The title was just too perfect for a chapter all about the trust that people like Lysithea and Hilda show in Edelgard and Claude, and how fragile that can be.</p><p>In Japan, Claude isn’t the “Master Tactician” but instead the nickname I’m using here. Just as with the fun contrast between Claude’s noble ideals and slippery behavior, that ambiguity is what makes him one of my favorite FE characters ever.</p><p>If you're curious, Flayn was the "Kronya" replacement in the other timeline, and Alois replaced Shamir.</p><p>Thanks again for reading, and I'll see you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>